50 things to stop doing forever
TRANSCRIPT
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50 Things to Stop Doing Forever
One of the benefits of being a coach is learning from your
clients.
Although I've been trained to understand the concepts and
actions that undermine our happiness and personal growth,there's nothing like watching someone reach that 'ah ha'moment and begin to transform their lives.
Not only is it profoundly gratifying to be privy to these
moments, it helps me examine the areas in my own life whereI'm stuck in old routines and behaviors that aren't serving me.
Often, we don't even realize we have other options in ourperspective, beliefs, and actions, until someone leads us to a
new way of thinking. Our routines and behaviors have become
so ingrained, and even addictive, that it is often impossible toidentify them as the cause of so much of our frustration and
suffering.
I firmly believe that there are some 'universal' shifts thateveryone should make in order to live a life of integrity,
balance, fulfillment, and joy. These shifts aren't always easy to
embrace, but the first step toward change and growth is
always awareness.
Here are 50 things to stop doing forever in order to shift your
life up to a more profound level of happiness.
You may not agree with all of these, but I invite you to ponder
these suggestions over time to see if awareness might lead you
to a new approach to your life.
I have completely stopped . . .
1. Struggling. I don't resist or fight against life or even 'bad'events. I go with the flow and make the best choices I can in
the moment.
2. Doing things because I 'should.' I am not motivated by guilt
but by my own adult decisions about what is best for me.
3. Delaying solving a problem. I face the situation squarely and
handle it as quickly as possible so it doesn't cause me anxiety.
4. Tolerating crap from other people. I no longer hang aroundwith people who diminish me, drain my energy, or treat me
poorly.
5. Creating or tolerating drama in my life. Even though it can
bring attention and a weird sort of excitement, I know thatdrama creates negative energy.
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6. Setting goals that I should achieve. I set goals that I want toachieve.
7. Trying to change people, especially my spouse or partner. I
accept people exactly as they are or I get out. (This doesn't
mean you can't ask for something you need from therelationship.)
8. Putting other people's needs before my own. I recognize
that unless my cup is mostly full, I can't be available tolovingly give to others.
9. Creating mindless tasks. Life is too precious and beautiful to
whittle it away on empty tasks just to feel like you are
accomplishing something.
10. Putting work, money, projects, or television before those I
love. Relationships are the most important thing in my life, andI act like it.
11. Spending money to fill a void. I seek to find the cause of
my emptiness. I don't try to buy my way out of it.
12. Beating a dead horse. If I see something isn't working, I
recognize it and move on.
13. Driving aggressively. I don't need to express my power or
my urgency through my car. I don't tailgate, cut people off, orrun yellow lights.
14. Gossiping. I recognize that gossip is my attempt at havingpower over others, and I release my need for that.
15. Trying to prove myself. I just am myself and live according
to my own values and personal operating system.
16. Owning other people's problems. I will support, listen, andlove, but I no longer manage or invest myself in other people's
difficulties.
17. Manipulating people. I don't have to go in the back door to
get what I need. I ask directly.
18. Defining myself by my achievements or roles. I define
myself by the actions and choices I make in every moment.
19. Dwelling on the past. I consciously live in the moment andfocus my awareness on what is happening right now.
20. Reacting before thinking. I may not be able to control myfeelings in every situation, but I can control my behavior.
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21. Pretending I'm too old or it's too late. I recognize this as anexcuse for not trying.
22. Saying yes when I mean no. I am becoming a master at
saying no even when I know it might upset someone.
23. Compromising my values. I know what my values are, and
I completely orient my life around them.
24. Over-promising. I promise only 50% of what I can deliver,leaving myself space for change.
25. Allowing other people to waste my time. I take the
necessary steps to educate or avoid them.
26. Accepting anxiety, depression or ill-health. I do everythingin my power to restore my mental and physical health because
I know good health is the foundation for a happy life.
27. Filling all of my time. I leave some time during the day
completely open to just do nothing.
28. Focusing on the future. It's great to have goals, but I enjoythe process as much as the outcome.
29. Believing I'm right. I recognize that their are many ways toperceive things and more than one way to handle situations.
30. Ignoring my intuition. I trust my instincts and listen to myown wisdom.
31. Accepting limitations. I assume I can accomplish or achievesomething until it is absolutely proven I cannot.
32. Isolating myself. I know that it takes effort to expand my
network of friends, and I see the value in that.
33. Fighting what comes naturally. I no longer try to force my
life to be a square peg in a round hole. I go with the flow andstrengthen my strengths.
34. Accepting boredom. I either find the beauty in the moment
or I take action to create energy and enthusiasm.
35. Feeling guilty. I right any wrongs, I ask for forgiveness, I
restore my integrity. Then I let it go.
36. Juggling. I don't fill my plate so full that my life is out of
balance.
37. Stuffing my feelings. I express myself fully, ask for what I
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need, and seek help to resolve pain feelings I can't handle
alone.
38. Behaving childishly. I don't have to whine or have atantrum to get what I need.
39. Having a chip on my shoulder. I have a lightheartedapproach to life and don't get my feelings hurt easily.
40. Controlling people or situations. I accept 'what is' rather
than what I think should be.
41. Waiting for other people to decide. I have the self-confidence to initiate.
42. Living beyond my means. I know that debt is an enormousenergy drain and reclaiming that energy is far more important
than material things.
43. Eating for emotional comfort. I recognize this when ithappens and deal with the issue directly.
44. Taking other people for granted. I regularly express mylove and appreciation to those close to me.
45. Fighting. I simply don't fight with anyone any more. Icalmly walk away from arguments until I can resolve conflict
peacefully.
46. Over-thinking. I spend a reasonable amount of timecontemplating a problem or decision. Then I get out of my
head and take action.
47. Living below my standards. I am clear on my standards,and I live up to them.
48. Stagnating. I continue to actively grow and learn.
49. Seeking to fill my ego before my soul. I can distinguish
between the two and place my priority squarely on soul-fulfilling actions and choices.
50. Assuming I'm not creative. Life itself is a creative act, and
every day I can create myself just the way I want to be.
What have you learned about things to stop doing forever in
order to expand your personal growth and happiness?
= = =
Thanks again to my friend, Barrie Davenport, for another greatarticle and another list of things to ponder.
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To learn more about Barrie and her work--and get more of these gems--visit her blog at Live Bold & Bloom.
Have a Great Wednesday!
JasonFounder, Motivation123
Author, Shifting the Balance