25 WAYSTOWIN WITHPEOPLEJOHN C.MAXWELLAnd LES PARROTT, PH.D.CARIBBEAN-BETHANY

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Dedicated to:Tom Mullins, You're like the Pied Piper. When you walk into an office, people want to follow you. More than anyone I know, you personify the 25 ways to win people over. you you make those around you feel very valuable until I feel so close to you! -JOHN C. MAXWELL

Mike Ingram and Monty Ortman, Few people could develop a business team, gain respect and achieve more than you two. Both have a lovely way of relating to people. His generous spirit and way of investing in others will result in big dividends in the coming decades. I am a better person for having known. LES PARROTT

CONTENTAcknowledgements" The greatest joy of life" by John C. Maxwell" I'm better after having met " by Les Parrott1. Begin with you2. Practice Rule 30 seconds3. Let people know you need them4. Create a keepsake and go to it frequently5. Praise people in public6. Give others a reputation to have to keep7. Say the right words at the right time8. Encourage dreams of others9. Give credit to others10. Give the best of you11. Share a secret with someone12. Remove the gold of good intentions13. Remove your gaze from the mirror14. Do for others what they cannot do for themselves15. Hear with Heart16. Find the key that unlocks the hearts of others17. Be the first to help18. Add value to people19. Remember the stories of the people20. Share a good story21. Unconditionally Give22. Learn the name of your mail23. Indicate the strengths of the other24. Write notes of encouragement25. Help people succeedA word of conclusion of John

GREATEST JOY OF LIFEBY JOHN C. MAXWELLIn the spring of 2004, shortly after delivering the final manuscript publishing How to earn people, they sent copies to some people, as they do frequently , to receive feedback and promote the book. One person who received a copy of the manuscript was Les Parrott .You probably know Dr. Les Parrott by one of his many triumphs : Professor of Psychology Seattle Pacific University , founder of the Center for Relationship Development , recognized speaker level national companies belonging to Fortune 500 , author of bestsellers such as high maintenance Relations and Love the life you live. He has been a guest on CNN, on the evening news for NBC , the program Oprah and others. Les is a friend . When for the first time was just a youngster. He was by then about to begin his doctoral studies in psychology. As soon as I realized how special it was. I knew I would a person of great influence.In the summer of 2004 , I received a phone call from them . ' John ,' he said , ' I loved How to win people over . I think it will help many people to change their attitudes and to see their relationship with others in a way entirely. Incidentally , I wrote something to promote it , but I want to give you an idea. I think you should write a second part . " I had put all my heart and everything I had learned about the relationships in the book How to win people over , so I was a little skeptical of that proposition . But I respect them and I know I always has great ideas, so I started to listen." What's the idea? ' I asked." I've seen you work with people for years " he said. "When you spend time with people who do feel like they were worth a million dollars . So you made me feel me. I assure you if you think I find at least a dozen specific things that have improved and you could teach others . " That made me thrill . "And , John, I think you should to call the book How to make others feel valuable ."Then he began to list some of the things he thought I should teach in the book: how to give them others have a reputation to keep , how to treasure the good intentions , good stories and how to use how to help people succeed. The more he thought, the more I loved the idea. He had written How win people to change the common way people interact . Getting to do what the book suggested take his time, but the book was suggesting that I could help people learn specific skills that could improve within days ." You know ," I said after a pause . " Sounds like a great idea. Why do not you write the book with me ? "I was surprised ."I think we'd make a great team ," added . " You said you've seen me for years. You're a psychologist experience, together we could find out what skills to teach. I teach people how to work with them and you you help to understand the psychology behind the practice. "And so it was written 25 ways to win people over . Les and I enjoyed while we compared notes, we had talked about relationships and anecdotes. We believe that if you practice the skills taught in this book, may will transform the way that people who know they see themselves , as may make them feel that they are very valuable.I do not think there is a larger than see others flourish , grow and reach their potential joy. This book will can help be part of this with people you know .

I am BETTER after meeting youBY LES PARROTTSome people have an invisible quality that attracts others to them like a magnet. These people are not just nice. His charisma defines everything they do and every encounter they have. Therefore create better equipment, more respect and achieve greater results. Is it only lucky in life to have been blessed with personality traits that lead to success without any effort ?Not in the least !This invisible and appealing trait inheritance comes not so much as refine it. It is a captivating spirit can be taught and learned. For a long time people have not tried to cultivate these qualities because according to the false impression which is believed to have or not have . This book will help to change that misconception . Because here you will find 25 of the most compelling keys to unlocking this charismatic spirit , a spirit it will help you succeed with almost all people who cross their path.WHY WE ARE WRITING THIS BOOK TOGETHERNo one who has ever been in close contact with John Maxwell will be able to leave without having experienced a change. That happened to me . As a mentor, John has left a permanent mark on almost every aspect professional and personal life. Over 20 years ago , before I started my studies to become clinical psychologist, I took a full week to be with him in San Diego in order to learn from their wisdom. Sometime later, encouraged me to write books and I started as a lecturer.These days , with a dozen books written each time in which we share the same platform, John is always great admirer . No exaggeration to say that he believes in me more than I could ever ask for.I am a better person thanks to John Maxwell is part of life. He taught me how to get value to light ; how to find purpose and work on what fascinated me ; how to polish vision and strive to achieve my goals. He taught me to "see the positive side of failure ' to make each day count and how to cultivate a positive attitude. The interaction with a person who has a gift for people who own John can have that kind of impact on you. Directly and indirectly , John has taught me many valuable lessons about life . But beyond all this has taught me how to win people . He has a lovely way of relating to almost all world, is a waiter in a restaurant or the president of a large corporation.THE SECRETS OF MAGIC INTERPERSONALFor several decades , I have studied how John lifts people . And as a friend , wanted to know how to cultivate interpersonal magic that you have. Anyone who has spent time with him know what feels good and confidence. I 'm not talking about the kind of feeling that occurs when someone gives you a compliment or frivolous disingenuous assertion , nor a pat on the back manipulative and flattering . I mean the kind of feeling that is given to know that someone genuinely wants the best for you. He encourages you because he wants you win.I have observed to their smallest interactions. Again and again , John shows an uncanny ability to disarm , entertain and enthrall anyone who meets him. In other words, has the ability to others feel as valuable as a million dollars . That's why one day, as already mentioned , we I proposed the idea to share the secrets of his magnetic personality and so you could learn to do the he does. When he invited me to write this book together , we spent hours watching the things he does so natural. I also talked extensively with friends and staff. I heard story after story of how he triumphed with them and added them value to their lives . I include many of these stories so that you can "see" the practicein action.AFFORDABLEThe 25 secrets you'll find explained here have the potential to change your life. They can help you become the kind of person whose attractive lights fill the room when you arrive. These skills are easy to learn. There are only a lucky few that seem to have come with those innate qualities , but that are available to anyone who seek and are vital for anyone who wants to win people .

1.START WITH YOUYour relationships will be as healthy as you are.- NEIL CLARK WARRENLES ... ABOUT START WITH YOUIf you want to win people , yourself must be a winner , or at least someone who is poised to be. Not you can avoid this.As a psychologist specializing in human relations , I have treated hundreds of people I have spoken to hundreds of thousands in seminars and have written over a dozen books on the subject. People who are around you know I want to help others to win people over . But if there's one thing I know is that any new technique or tip how to win others will fail if not start with yourself. Let me be clear . If you try to practice the "forms" to win people to learn in the following chapters without putting detailed attention to how you can become it a winner , end disappointed. But if you first take the time to focus on you, will soon be ready to focus onothers.YOU HAVE TO START WITHWilliam James , the first American psychologist said , "Hell which theology speaks is not worse than hell we do ourselves in this world usually form our character the wrong way '. If we do not create a winning character , surely we cannot win others. That's why this first step is so significant. In fact , there are at least two compelling reasons why winning over people depends on to start with yourself .YOU CAN NOT BE HAPPY IF YOU FEEL HEALTHYPsychology used to think it was crucial to focus on negative emotions ( and then delete them ) . now know there is a better way. A new generation of researchers has shifted the main analysis of psychology, instead of focusing on the misery , have chosen to focus on the understanding of being. New research shows that one cannot be happy just to avoid depression, stress or anxiety. No. You cannot be happy unless you feel healthy. And feeling healthy is more than not being sick . Emotional health is more than the absence of dysfunctional emotions. Emotional health is at the center how to win people over .CAN NOT GIVE WHAT NOT HAVEOne of the most known and oldest in the world on Psychology is the truth that says you cannot give what you do not. In fact , like any other psychologist in training, when I started education graduated , I had to undergo psychotherapy. " Les ," said the counselor, " as a psychologist , you will carry a person as far as you yourself have gone . " Why? Because you cannot give what you do have. You can not others to enjoy unless you enjoy yourself .Harry Firestone, said : " You can get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself ." Very true .But if the best you have is not better than the 'other' already possess can never take them beyond where they are currently . In short , if you are not becoming a winner, it will be almost impossible to win others . However, I want to give good news: His desire and his attempts to win people to help you be a winner. That's what Charles Warner meant when he said : "No one can try to sincerely help another without at the same time is helping himself . "HOW TO BE A WINNERPearl Bailey said : " There is a period in our life when we swallow our knowledge of us themselves and in doing so , we will know whether it is good or bitter . " All people have some anxieties and insecurities. If I asked you to describe a winner, to a healthy and whole person , I would probably say that this person has confidence in itself is nice , friendly, stable, giving, etc. . And in a sense , would be right. But being a winner is more than just having a list of enviable attributes. Being a winner is one thing its value. Winners are valuable. If not , ask any athlete or Olympic medalist who has just signed a contract billionaire. But in fact, be a winner, in the strictest sense of the word , has nothing to do with their performance , salary or earning potential. It has to do with its value and if it is appropriate or not his. When you accept your own personal value , when you are sure of who is there when you become a winner. Here are some ways to achieve this:RECOGNIZE THEIR VALUE . On more than one occasion, I have told the story of a conference in which I shared with friend Gary Smalley and where he did something that captivated the audience . Before an audience of nearly ten thousand people, Gary held in his hand a fifty dollar bill and asked a question : " Who wants this bill fifty dollars? " Many raised their hands. "I'm going to give these dollars fifty to one of you ," he continued, " but first let me do this ." And He proceeded to crumple the note. Then he asked : " Do you want someone yet? " The same hands were raised . "Well," he said. " What if I do this? " He threw it to the ground and crushed it with his shoe. He bent down , picked it up and lifted , all dirty and wrinkled. "Now does anyone still wants it? " Yet many hands were raised . "You have learned a valuable lesson," he said. "No matter what I do with the ticket , you still want because they have not been devalued . Still worth fifty dollars. " Simple Illustration of Gary emphasizes a profound truth . Many times in our lives we crumple , fall and we get dirty with the decisions we make and the circumstances we face. We may not feel value , insignificant in our eyes and in the eyes of others. But no matter what has happened or what happen after our value as human beings is never lost. Nothing can take away that value. Not never forget .ACCEPT YOUR VALUE . How many times have you heard people say, " Something's wrong with him ?" What they mean is that this person is not moving . That is not a healthy person . That something stopped and is not comfortable with herself . It's what psychologists call a person who has no self-acceptance . Let's face it , everyone on this planet suffer from insecurities and things we wish to change about us thereof. But there are certain things we cannot change . Some of our things are exactly So ours. Maybe you were not born with the look you would like , or perhaps is not as high as I would like . Their genes shuffled the cards and you touched something eventually had to accept either that or you reject personal value and , if so , their lives trying to compensate for their insecurities is passed. It has become a captive of his desire to have been different. The term comes from the Latin ad acceptance capere and means ' take for oneself '. In other words, inherent in the process of accepting others is the act of receiving acceptance of yourself. I say again : You never people will win unless he becomes a winner.INCREASE IN VALUE. You may already recognizes and accepts its value. Maybe he knows within himself , in his soul, God loves you and considers invaluable . Congratulations ! The next step is to increase your value to others solving many of their problems as you possibly can . In other words, who needs to maximize is , winning or repairing those things that are within their ability to change. You may fight , for example, with a strong temperament. You may have difficulty in setting limits or accept responsibility ; may have bad habits or perhaps your attitude needs an overhaul. We all have obstacles we can overcome. 45% of Americans say they would change a bad habit if pudieran.1 Truth is that it can change. We can all improve when we decided to do it. In his book Teaching the Elephant to Dance ( Teaching an elephant to dance ), James Belasco tells how coaches strung young elephants with heavy chains that are tied to stakes in the ground. That way , the elephant learns to stay in one place . The oldest and most powerful elephants were trained that way ever try to run away, even when they have the strength to start the stake and go. her conditioning limits their movement. With just a metal ring on one of his legs stay in place, even though neither even has stakes; It's a story that you may have heard before , but like the mighty elephants , many people are bound by a prior conditioning . And chain around the leg of the elephant keeps it move, some people impose unnecessary limits on your personal progress. Do not let this happen to you . No absurdly accept limitations to stop their skills . Challenge them and keep growing.BELIEVE IN VALUE . Once you have recognized its value , accept and increase it finally got to believe in it. you have I believe with such conviction that is willing to depend on him . Chuck Wepner never learned this lesson. As a boxer , nicknamed ' bloody Bayonne won By suffering the punishment even if he won. In the boxing world said it was "a born hall '; ie a fighter who often uses his head to block the blows of the opponent. Wepner continually pressed his opponent until he won or what noqueaban . He never cared how much punishment he had to absorb before giving the final blow. Coach Al Braverman said, " It's the most audacious fighter I have ever met . it making his own game, he did not mind the pain. If ever there was cut or hit with the elbow, never noticed me or the referee for help. He was a fighter in every sense of the word. " When Wepner knocked out Terry Henke in the eleventh assault in Salt Lake City, boxing promoter Don King offered a bout against then heavyweight champion George Foreman. But when Ali beat Foreman, Wepner was given that now have to fight " big " Muhammad Ali. The day of the fight , Wepner you gave his wife a pink negligee and told him that " he would soon be sleeping with the heavyweight champion of the world. "Ali won by technical knockout nineteen seconds before the fight ended . But there was a moment , a glorious ninth time in the assault when a blow to the chest of Ali made the champion fell to the canvas. Wepner recalls: " When Ali was on the ground , remember telling trainer Al Braverman : " Al, starts the car, we go to the bank , we are already millionaires . " And Al said, " Better turn around because it is rising . '" After the fight , Wepner 's wife pulled the negligee from her purse and asked, " Am I going to Ali's room or he comes mine? " The story would just be a comment to a page, except for one thing . A writer who passed through trouble at that time , I was watching the fight and suddenly the idea came to his mind: " That is ," he said. " So I I went home and started writing. I wrote for three days straight . " That's how writer and actor Sylvester Stallone described the birth of the Oscar -winning film Rocky James Lipton on Inside the Actor's Studio. A movie studio offered the struggling writer the unprecedented amount of $ 400,000 for his script , but Stallone refused money, choosing instead to only $ 20,000 and the right to make the character of Rocky with minimum wage of an actor, a paltry $ 340 per week. The study also made an offer to Wepner as the film would be based on his life. He was offered a commission of $ 70,000 or 1% of the net profits of the film 1 James Patterson and Peter Kim , The Day America Told the Truth (The day America told the truth ) (East Rutherford, NJ : Prentice Hall Press, the . Wishing to have a guaranteed payment , Wepner opted for the $ 70,000; a decision that ultimately cost him $ 8,000,000 . Chuck Wepner currently live in Bayonne and works as a clerk in a liquor store. The same happens when you sold poorly . If you think you have something valuable to offer to another person - yourself- will never win people . What you are is the greatest value it has. While recognize this value , accept it , increase it and make it with absolute conviction , ways to win over people described in this book may become part of his character. And when it comes from the heart , works great.A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEIf I could meet him in person , one of the first things I say is that I believe in you. Expected to find it difficult to accept because they do not even know . But I know this : All people have value and some value offer. One of my missions in life is to see that value to others, helping them to discover and encourage them to reach potential. You can become a winner and help others do the same. It is for that reason that I want to be your teacher. Maybe I can not join you in person, but I have written this Les book because I want to help . In the following chapters , I will devote a few pages to what I call a moment teaching so we can show you specifically how to make people feel one million dollars. It's way to help you win people . And when we're done , I want to suggest that seek out a mentor who can look in the face , a winner who can add value and take you through many additional life lessons .

LES ... recapEach of the chapters in this book concludes with a segment wrap . It is designed to help put the " top winner " of this chapter into practice. This little sketch has served me well , so it happened to you. To apply this lesson to your own life ...

Forget :Anything that makes you feel insecure.ask yourself: How I can increase value to benefit me and others?Do this :Make a list of things you can improve yourself ( bad habits to break , etc. . ) With specific steps that will help you achieve those improvements .Remember:Your relationships will be as healthy as you are.

2.PRACTICE RULE 30 SECONDSOne who hopes to do much good at once , will never do anything .- SAMUEL JOHNSONLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONOne of the most valuable lessons about winning people I learned from John is the rule of 30 seconds: Say something encouraging to a person in the first 30 seconds of a conversation. John is an expert in that. While I was at a meeting in one of his companies recently John entered the room and within minutes said something encouraging to each person who was at the meeting ." David , I knew I was excellently well in the conference call this morning ."" Larry , you're making me look good with that advice in Denver. Thank you. "" Kevin , I just saw the numbers for April . No one else in the world can see and take opportunities the way you do. '" Les, I am delighted that you made the trip to come and be with us today . I know it will add a value tremendous to our conversation . "From the beginning, John was genuinely encouraged each of us , and did so subtly and almost effortlessly. As I was trying to learn more about the ways of John to win people over then of the meeting I asked her to tell me what he had done. That's where I first heard the term " Rule 30 seconds '." I learned this from father ," she said . " Many years ago, he was president of a university and often walked together for the university campus. Continually stopped to say encouraging things to students. When I felt tempted to claim, looking at the students and I realized that father had deposited good words in them ."People never forget that kind of encouragement ," he continued . "Yesterday I spoke to your father for me and he excitedly He told of the many graduate students who continue to visit in Florida. No surprise that stops people travel many miles to see him, but not me . Rule 30 seconds that father had practiced with all them every day was returning to him and how. "" I've seen you do this for years," I said to John , " but I never knew it was something that you learned from your father'."I have learned many lessons from father, he is an amazing leader," John replied. " I practice this rule always with any person I know . Look, someone once told me , " Be nice . Every person you meet is fighting strong a battle . " People need a kind word , an encouraging compliment and strengthen their hopes their dreams. Do not cost much , but really lifts people . "JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELLWhen people come together , looking for ways to look good in front of others . The key to Rule 30 second is to reverse this practice. When you make contact with others , instead of focusing on himself, concerned that they look good. Each day before leaving for a meeting , I stop to think of something that can encourage these people. It I say may be one of many things to thank you for something you have done for me or a friend ; tell them about some of his accomplishments ; praise them for a personal quality that exhibit , or simply give them a complimenttheir appearance. The practice is not complicated but it takes time , effort and discipline. The rewards of practicing is immense, because it really makes a positive impact on people . If you want to encourage others through the practice of the rule of 30 seconds, then keep these thingsthe next time you meet with other people :RULE 30 SECONDS DA PEOPLE FIRST CLASS TREATMENT"A gossip is one who talks about others is a boring one who speaks of himself and chatty Bright is one who talks to you about yourself . "- William KingAll people feel better and perform better when given attention , affirmation and appreciation . the next time you make contact with people , start giving them their full attention during the first 30 seconds. Make them feel good by showing your appreciation in some way. Then watch what happens. You'll be surprised positivism see how they react. And if you have trouble remembering to focus on them instead of you, then perhaps to help the words of William King . He said: "A gossip is one who talks about other people, boring is one who speaks of himself and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about you '.RULE 30 SECONDS GIVES POWER TO THE PEOPLEThe psychologist Henry H. Goddard conducted a study on the energy levels of children using an instrument called " erggrafo Your results are fascinating. He discovered that when the kids were tired and were given words of encouragement, the erggrafo showed an increase of energy in them . When they are criticized or discouraged , erggrafo showed that the physical energy waned . You may have discovered this intuitively. When someone encourages you , right up your energy level ? And when criticized is not that comment makes it decay ? Words have great power. What kind of environment you think you could create if you continually encouraged people when you his first contact with them? Not only stimulate , but you become a transmitter of energy. Each time you enter somewhere brighten people ! You would be a participant in creating the kind of environment that Everyone loves . His presence would happily on people .RULE 30 SECONDS INFUSE MOTIVATIONVince Lombardi , the famous coach of the football team the Green Bay Packers, was dreaded by thediscipline applied . But he was also a great motivator. One day he ate a live player who had failed make several blocks. After practice , he entered the locker room and saw the player sitting next to his locker. His head was bowed and looked very discouraged. Lombardi ruffled hair , gave a pat on the shoulder and said, " One of these days you will become the best defense in the NFL ." That player was Jerry Kramer. And Kramer says he kept that positive self image for the rest of his career. "The encouragement that gave me Lombardi had a tremendous impact on life." In time , he became a member both the Hall of Fame Green Bay Packers as the " Team of All Time " in the NFL. We all need motivation from time to time . Use the 30 seconds rule encourages people to they are and give the best of themselves . Never underestimate the power of motivation : Motivation helps people who know what they should do ...to do it! Motivation helps people who know what commitment should take to ... I assume ! Motivation helps people who know what habit should stop ...to leave it ! Motivation helps people to know what path should take ...to take it Motivation makes it possible to achieve what should be achieved .One of the greatest side benefits of the 30 second rule is that it also helps you . You can not help others without at the same time is not helping himself . Benjamin Franklin was given account of this principle and use it to help others. In a letter to John Paul Jones, said: "From now on, if you see occasion to give his officers and friends a little more praise than it should be , and confesses that he committed more fouls than you think you should recognize that alone , will soon become a great captain . Criticizing and censuring almost everyone with whom it relates , be reduced friendships, increase his enemies and harm their plans . " Who increase our value , bring us closer to them. Those who make us feel less than we are, make we move away from them. If you want others to feel good about themselves and feel like every time you see it , then practice Rule 30 seconds. Remember this: Those who increase our value , bring us closer to them. Who do wefeel less than who we are , do we get away from them.

LES ... recapFor decades , social psychologists have studied the ' first impressions '. If you want to make an impression lasting and positive , we now know what works and what does not. And the rule of 30 seconds of John is one of the most effective means to succeed in this area. In terms of research , this is what is called ' effect primacy ' and its initial impact is impressive for the way others feel connected to you.1To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : Looking for ways to try to look good. Instead , look for ways to make others look good . ask yourself: What positive and encouraging thing could tell every person you see today?Do this : Give each person the first class treatment you are : attention , affirmation and appreciation .Remember: Say something encouraging in the first 30 seconds of a conversation.

3.Let them know YOU PEOPLE NEED THEThe greatest compliment I ever received was when someone asked me to review and put attention response.- Henry David ThoreauLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONOne day I asked John the secret to getting people to join a team and he told me the answer a simple sentence : " I cannot do it without you " and continued that great leaders face when they believe people need them instead of recognizing that it is the opposite. "Leaders can become great ' me John said , "only if they realize they are the ones who need to rest."As he talked , he pulled a laminated card from his desk drawer and told me several years had developed a tool for help of people. " I wrote this in 1974. Had a big project on my hands and needed to raise over a million dollars. There was the first time that I realized how far it was to be a leader . " It was then that I realized that if I wanted to achieve something big , I had to turn our dream sleep . Write that sentence thinking use in an upcoming conference. I also realized that any dream I could achieved without the help of other people would be a little dream . " John showed me a laminated card . This was what he said : I have a dream History tells us that each time has been a time when leaders must make decisions . that reason , there is a potential leader who does not have an opportunity to improve humanity . Individuals who surround also have the same privilege. Fortunately, I believe that God has surrounded me with those who accepted the challenge of the moment.

My dream allows me ... Disclaimer at any time at all to accept that I am all I can be. Intuit invisible so you can perform the impossible. Rely on God's resources because the dream is bigger than all my skills and my knowledge . Continue but is discouraged because without faith in the future , there is power in the present . Attract winners and the big dreams attract big people . Seeing people and myself in the future. Our dream is the promise of what one day will be.Yes , I have a dream. It's bigger than any of my talents. It is as big as the world, but originates one. Want to join me?- John Maxwell" Les ," she said , " I have given hundreds of these cards and have seen time and again how people come together to help me achieve sleep for one reason : they do need to know that . "A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEThe day I realized I could not do it all by myself was a big step in development as a person and leader . I've always had vision, a lot of ideas and energy. But when vision becomes larger than one, there is only two options: abandon the vision or seek help. I chose the latter. When vision becomes larger than one, there are only two options : abandon the vision or seek help. No matter the successes you have achieved or how important, what you really need is people . That's why you have to let them know we could not succeed without them. President Woodrow Wilson said, " Not only should use all the brains we have, but we should borrow all we can . " And why only the brains ? Hire the hands and hearts of people too! Another president , Lyndon Johnson was right when he said : "There is no problem we cannot solve together , and very few that we can solve alone . " Asking for help is a good way to make others feel valuable . Why?PEOPLE WANT TO FEEL THAT YOU NEEDHave you ever been arrested someone asking directions? Lower the car window and tells a passerby : " Can you tell how to get to market Larry? " Almost every time , people stop doing what is doing to help even if it means crossing the street or stopping traffic. Some even repeated the address to make sure that you have understood . Why? Because when someone feels they know something you do not know, that encourages the ego. We all want to be experts , even for a moment. The help gives us a great feeling of superiority and achievement, which translates into a greater sense of self-esteem. And it all stems from the idea universal that someone needs us.PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE NEEDThe magnate and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie said : "It is a big step in your development when you accept that other people can help you do a better job than I could do alone. " Sadly, many never reach that level of maturity or perspective. They still want to believe they can achieve greatness for themselves. The destiny of every individual is tied to many others. We cannot be like that sitting in castaway Lifeboat aside and do nothing while the other , across work hard to avoid sinking , and says: "Thank God that the hole is not in hand ! " All people need and if we do not, then yes we are in trouble.PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT IS NEEDEDCartoonist Charles Schultz often captured the desires of the human heart in his comic strip Charlie Brown. He understood the needs of people . In one of his creations , Lucy asks Charlie Brown help you do your homework. "I 'll thank you forever " she promises . " Sounds good. I've never had anyone be eternally grateful to me , " answered Charlie. "Only you have to subtract October 4 to find out how many apples are left to the farmer . " Lucy says, " Is that all ? I have to be eternally grateful just for that? I've been robbed ! I can not be eternally grateful for so little, it was very easy ! " With a look of dismay , Charlie replied , "Well , then give me what you think is right ." " What if you just say thanks ? " Says Lucy . Charlie is going and the way he meets Linus who asks : " Where have you been , Charlie Brown? " " Helping Lucy to do your homework ." "And you thanked ? " "Yes , but at a greatly reduced price ." If you've ever felt like Charlie Brown, you know you are not alone. Every human being wants to have a life sense . We all want to know that we need and what we offer to others is of value.PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT HAS HELPEDGood leaders make people feel essential part of things, not just a supplement .- Warren BennisEvery time someone tells me how valuable computer people , I encourage you to go and tell them. Why? Because they need to know that they have helped someone . " Good leaders make people feel part essence of things , not just a supplement ' Warren Bennis , author and leadership expert says . " Everyone feels that make a difference in the success of the organization. When that happens, people feel part of it and thatmakes the work meaningful . " Walter Shipley Citibank says: "We have 68,000 employees. With a company of this magnitude , I do not got it business ... My job is to create an environment that allows people to support each other beyond its own abilities ... I receive credit for providing the leadership that got us there, but it was the people who has fact ' . Shipley understands what every successful leader knows that people need to know that they were an important part in the result obtained . It is not a sign of weakness to others to let them know we value them . It is a sign of security and strength . When you are honest with the need to ask for help when it is specific about the value they add the others to the cause and when it is inclusive with them to form a team that will do something more than what one is , all win.

LES ... recapLong since research has shown that when people feel needed , are more likely to be productive and creative. In fact , studies in twins with similar IQs show that each acts differently depending on the environment where you are, let's say one is in a supportive environment (where known to be appreciated and that you will need ) and the other in the opposite environment. The person who feels appreciate your support acts better.1To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : A cavalier attitude to do so have to prove how capable you are without the help of others.ask yourself: Who could help me specifically to do a better job than I do alone? Who is waiting who asks to join work ?Do this : Seek advice or help from others sincerely and watch what they say .Remember: Those who earn people make these characters feel , not just a supplement .

4.CREATE A MEMORY AND IT WILL OFTENMemory is the treasury and guardian of all things.- CiceroLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONThe people who devote quality time with John knows he will be a good memory. It's inevitable. Has special ability to create memories ; It 's one of those things that make people earn . John also enjoys when others create a memory for him. One day when we were talking about creating memories , artfully told me this story : He had to make a presentation to about three thousand young in Phoenix. Going up to the platform, he realized who I had invited had something different in mind. " He did not wanted me to give a lecture , "he explained . Those young people who had read his books and listened to his tapes audio for several years, he had prepared a surprise . Instead of asking him to speak to them , what [p 28] who made tell them he was , so they asked her to sit and simply listen. One after another, 12 leaders preselected audience went up to the platform to tell others how the teachings of John had made an impact on their lives."It was totally unexpected ," she said . "And not just flooded me with kind words , but each one he gave me a memory, something tangible of what they learned from me. I was floored by that experience. " One gave him a beautiful painting with two images: one of a child reading one of the books of John and the other from child and adult training others . " Les " John said with tears in his eyes and trembling voice : "Do you know how many times I remembered that day. I keep the memories to revive them in office . That experience meant so much to me. And renewed desire to create memories for others. "

A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEThere are not many things that can unite people as does a shared memory . The soldiers who fight together, the teams that win a championship and the teams that achieve their goals share a connection you never forget . Married couples who are experiencing difficult times often look back to ancient experiences that help them move forward. Families who join when they are going through difficulties camps or to share your holiday adventures in later years enjoyed remembering those moments spent together . Although many memories can be created in an active way , some are the result of circumstances. The author Lewis Carrol , referring to the latter, said : "It's the kind of memory that only works with look back '. What that mean to us ? That the most precious memories are usually those we plan and created intentionally . Here are some ideas to create memories that will help win people :INITIATIVE . MAKE SOMETHING HAPPENThe memories were not looking for us; we have to look for them. Better yet if we intentionally we can create memories. If you mention the word coach Dan Friend and Patti and Tim Reiland or Pam Elmore, can tell you exactly what they think . They think of an autumn day in the city of New York when we did something that still makes us laugh. After eating , I rented three ' carriages ' drawn drivers about cycling . We made a run from Manhattan to Macy's. Each couple had to see how motivated his driver to win ( could use any financial incentive ) . The race was closely contested throughout the way and we laughed a lot . I still laugh when we think or look at the photos we took that day but never have happened if we had not started.

TIME: INVEST IN TIME TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPENFor years parents have debated the issue of quality time versus quantity time . as a parent and grandfather , I have discovered that it takes a lot of time to find quality time . If you no effort , you cannot create a memory. Have not you noticed that most of the memories you have are with people who spends of the time? It's what happens to me . If you want to create memories with your family , spend time with them. If To create memories with their employees , will not make it behind the door of his office. You cannot create memories on people if you do not spend time with them.PLANNING . PLAN FOR SOMETHING HAPPENMost people do not run their lives, accepted. Most people do not run their lives, accepted. Expect memorable experiences happen without taking the time to plan an experience that will be a memory. One of the most bizarre memories I 've planned it was with Margaret , wife . It was our twenty-fifth anniversary . We decided to share it with thirty of our closest friends, it hired a yacht and collected in the bay of San Diego. A Once on board , we had a delicious meal and then we surprised inviting Frankie Valens to sing some of his songs such as " Sixteen Candles " ( Sixteen Candles ) . Our friends were delighted, but the time Most memorable was when Margaret and I said a few words about each of the guests and which occupied a special place in our hearts . That night was a great memory for Margaret and me, but It was also a great souvenir for those who attended .CREATIVITY . FIND A WAY TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPENWhat do you do when you are at an event where he hoped to have a memory to share but nothing seems to happen ? Be creative . I have been asked many times you tell the story about a championship bowling I went to see in San Diego fifteen years ago. The game was so boring that I ended by buying newspapers the section so that had something to do. Another guy who was next , not wanting to be outdone, bought one hundred bags of peanuts and distributed throughout the section . The two received a standing ovation and soon journalists they focused more on us in the game . I do not remember who won, but never forget that night . I know you will not either friends who were with me.SHARED EXPERIENCES . ACHIEVE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO JOINTLYMemories are shared if experience with someone you love. Memories are shared if experience with someone you love. Several years ago our family went on vacation Jasper Park in Canada. As we I were there , I took my children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter, a fish. When we returned to the cabin, Margaret phoned to say we were on the way and she asked how we had gone . " We caught eight trout ," he said Joel , appearing calm even though I knew he was proud . On the road We were saying how great it would be trout dinner we had fish . When we arrived, we trout to the kitchen but we are surprised to see four pieces of meat ready to be cooked. "What is this? " Joel asked his mother. "We caught eight trout ! And we want dinner trout. " Margaret began to laugh . " I thought they had just caught a trout , so I went to buy steaks ." I started laughing and Elizabeth . Finally , Joel said , "Mommy is not very good with numbers, right?This happened when our children were eleven and thirteen . Now, every time we make a meal outdoors my kids remember the story of the trout . To date, married and with children of their own , still enjoy say , "Mommy is not very good with numbers " and that makes us laugh.MEMORIES . SHOW SOMETHING HAPPENEDJohn McCrone says: "Almost everything you do today you'll have forgotten in a few weeks . the ability remembering decreases exponentially unless it is driven by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs . " Is not it true? Do you keep photographs or souvenir on your desk where you can see ? Does in your wallet photos of people she loves? Do you have a trophy , a plaque, a ball or other award on a shelf where others can see it? We all have things we love, not for their material value but for the memories that we bring . When you help someone else will create a memory , you must give that person something you can revive him.RELIVE THE MEMORY . TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENEDThe most important part is to create a memory revive . It is the reward! Many times when traveling with other at the end of our trip I ask them to share one of his favorite memories . Often this leads to great conversations . Or I write a note to someone where I share favorite memory itself. This forms a connection that unites us and makes us feel great.

LES ... recapThere is no person on this earth who does not understand the value of positive memories . These can sustain people during the most difficult times and inspire during the good times . Moreover, anyone can create a memory and go to it often !To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : Try to have quality time to form a memory if you are not willing to invest the amount of time required . ask yourself: What memories I have created with people who wish to relive together?Do this : Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or a triumph of what people will talk in the future. And do not forget to create an object of it.Remember: We should not expect the memories come to us . We have to make those memories happen.

5.PRAISE TO PERSONS IN PUBLICAdmonish your friends in secret, praise them in public.- Publilius SyrusLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONPraising others in public is the personal brand of John Maxwell. He is known for doing this around the world , so when I asked them to some people in your company to tell me how John does this, it did not cost me much receive answers . Rather, I had to decide what to choose among many . Many of the stories contained feelings similar to those I heard from Charlie Wetzel, who has worked with John and his books for more than a decade : For almost twenty years, John has written and recorded lessons on leadership , which has been used to teach tens of thousands of people every month ; first with the club and now INJOY Life through Maximum Impact . 1995 , gave a lesson was designed to teach leaders how to find people with great potential and creating an environment where they flourish and emerge as leaders in all of the law. In this lesson called " Looking eagles . " Often , John recorded these lessons during his lectures to corporations and other organizations around country . However, this time the school was for their own church personnel and some employees INJOY , your company leadership development . It was his way of continually develop their people so that could grow and learn.

That day I sat with the audience and wrote down the ten characteristics of an eagle :1. They make things happen.2 . Come and take advantage of opportunities.3 . Influencing the opinions and actions of others.4. Dan value to people .5. Winners attracted towards them.6. Eagles They train others so they can handle.7. Provide ideas to help the organization.8. Possess a peculiarly great attitude.9. Was maintained up to their commitments and responsibilities.10. Show total loyalty to an organization and the leader.It was an instructive and inspiring message. When he concluded the lesson, mentioned some of the eagles had found in his life over the years . And then said, "But I want to conclude this lesson by telling them about another eagle that has recently entered the organization . His name is Charlie Wetzel . He has worked with us for very little time , but it makes things happen. " John kept saying how I made the connection of their own initiative in a national magazine editor made that An article was accepted and Maxwell were to be read by more than 3 million subscribers. John then many said very flattering things about me to the extent that made me mourn . He has always said positive about me in front of wife and my parents things , but this time was speaking all church staff and the president of your company , not to mention the thousands of people who would listen post them on tape. It was amazing . Before that time , I never myself as a 'Eagle' . To date, still playing heart every time I think about it. It's been a decade since John did that praise Charlie ; however, its impact has not diminished. That It is the power of praising people face to face.A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEThe most direct and fundamental way to win people 's praise them with a positive , sincere and meaningful word. If you want to make others feel valuable , perfect this basic fitness. It is essential to learn to give their compliments in front of others as individually. Why? Because that praise in private when becomes public, and dramatically increases its instantaneous value. Here are some reasons why it is so important:VALUABLE FEEL PEOPLE WANT IN LIFEMary Kay Ash said , " Everyone has an invisible ad hanging neck that says :"Make me feel important " " She taught his sales team. He said again and again : " Never forget this message when working with people. " She knew that the praise and affirmation were crucial for success with others. A eulogy in private when it is made public , its instantaneous value and increases dramatically And by the way , that's just one of the reasons that made winning . In 1963 , five thousand dollars in savings and the help of his 20 year old son , Mary Kay cosmetics launched . The company currently has over 500,000 advisors Independent Beauty in 29 markets around the world . Mary Kay Inc. is listed as one of the 100 work best for U.S. companies. Mary Kay , like all people who earn people knew that people want to feel valuable . And when you keep that thought in your mind , the praise will come to him easily .

PRAISE WHEN VALUE INCREASE IN VALUE TO THE PERSON THAT DAWillard Scott , former weatherman of NBC 's Today Show, recalls his days of radio when received Best letter from a fan : Dear Mr. Scott : I think you are the best developer of discs in Washington. Putting the best music and has the most beautiful voice I have heard on the radio. Please excuse the crayon . Here let us not use anything sharp . Not all are equal praise . We value a compliment depending on who gives it . A good comment of someone who would not allow sharp objects do not have the same weight as a eulogy given by your boss in front of people you respect .CONFIRMING THE PEOPLE PRAISE AND STRENGTHENRatify means affirming . An endorsement is a statement of truth that you claim in the heart of the person when expressed. As a result , it generates a conviction. For example, when you praise the attitude of a person , the is strengthening and making more consistent. Since you noticed in a positive way , that person is likely to show the same attitude again. Similarly, when ratified the dreams of people , is helping to make the dreams become more real than your doubts. Like repeating a weightlifting regimen , routine praise builds the qualities of the people and strengthens their personalities. Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. "There are special moments in everyone's lives ," wrote George Matthew Adams, " and most of them come by the praise that someone else has done to us. No matter how big , famous or winning the person, all wish applause. Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. You cannot expect a good job of a worker without breath. No one can live without it. "

PRAISE IN PUBLIC ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAT MAY GIVEAs commander of a warship worth a billion dollars and a crew of 310 people , Mike Abrashoff used a critical leadership to increase retention rates of 28% to 100% , reduce expenses operating and improving the provision. How did he do ? Among other things , gave great importance to public acclaim . "The captain of a ship is authorized to give 15 medals a year ," he wrote . "Since I was to blame excess , I gave 115 '. Almost always a seaman left the ship to meet another assignment , Captain Abrashoff gave him a medal. "Even if they had not been to the top , he gave a medal at a ceremony public as long as they had made the maximum effort every day. Delivered a short speech saying how much we appreciated their camaraderie , friendship and hard work . " Sometimes peers of him that was had funny anecdotes , recalling their difficulties and triumphs. But basically , what I wanted was Abrashoff it felt good to be praised in front of the entire crew . "There is a negative effect on this symbolic gesture ," said Abrashoff , " if done honestly and without fuss '. Captain Michael Abrashoff knew how to make their marine feel like a million dollars. You can do the same with the people around you . Whenever you have the opportunity to publicly commend another person , please do so . Of course , you can create these opportunities , as did Captain Abrashoff , but can also find countless opportunities if only the searches .

LES ... recapThink about the last time someone praised him in the presence of people who mattered to you. How did you feel ? There are few things that can encourage someone as much as it does a sincere compliment . To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : Give praise only in private. Instead , have them in public as much as possible.ask yourself: Who I can praise in front of others ?Do this : Praise someone in front of other people today.Remember: When you give someone a compliment in public, you are giving wings of an eagle.

6. GIVE THEM A REPUTATION TO OTHERS HAVE TO KEEPTreat a man as it seems and it worse. But treat it as if it were already potentially could become, and make it what it should be .- GoetheLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONA few years ago , John and Margaret went to London with his friends Dan and Patti Reiland , Tim and Pam and Andy Elmore Steimer . While there, each person had their favorite place to visit . Tim was the cabin and lounge war Winston Churchill and his advisers used during World War II. John told me about his experience there. It was an awesome place : it was just a basement about four meters under a building that had a living room with a large map and a table, a quarter of communications and some other small rooms where people could rest. But what had happened there during the war yes it was awesome . It was from there that Churchill planned his strategy and led the British people. As we talked , I could sense that John loves history. He spoke of Churchill - one of his heroes leadership - and how he encouraged millions of his countrymen after the British defeat in the June 1940 Battle of Dunkirk . I quoted part of the speech that Churchill addressed the House of Commons on that occasion: Desfalleceremos or fail ... No fight in France , we shall fight on the seas and oceans , we shall fight with confidence and strength increase : it will use the air , we shall defend our island at any cost ; will fight on beaches, in open fields , in the streets , in the hills ; we shall never surrender ... 1 " Churchill made many remarkable things during the war" continued telling John , "but one of the biggest was its ability to give the English a reputation to be maintained. Inspired , motivated , challenged . And therefore, they said . That's why he was so appreciated. " John has tried to express this quality . He tells me that whenever you interact with other people, you are wondering constantly : What is special , unique and wonderful this guy? Once it has learned , share it with others. I've seen him do this over and over again . For example , when referring to Linda Eggers, his assistant, says : " She is always very good." A John Hull, president of EQUIP , calls it : "The Mr. relationships. " He tells everyone that Nowery Kirk , President of ISS , is " the best friend of a pastor '. Kevin Small , INJOY president , calls it "The goals achieved " and when talking about Doug Carter , Vice President EQUIP , says that " he never misses an opportunity to [p 45 ] EQUIP tell the story ." John always thinks well of people and whenever you can , talk about the great qualities you see in them.A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEOne of the best ways to inspire others and make them feel good is by showing them what they could become. Several years ago , an administrator of the New York Yankees wanted new players to realize the great privilege it was to play on that team . I used to tell them : " Boys , it's an honor to get the striped shirt New York. So when the dress , play like world champions . Play like the Yankees . play with pride. " When you give someone a reputation to keep , you are giving that person a goal that has to reach ; something that is beyond what it is now . When he speaks to their potential, helping them to " Play with pride ," as do the Yankees. Why is it so important? Because people will go further than they thought if they respect someone who tells them that they can achieve. If you want to give others a reputation to be maintained , here are some suggestions of how to get started :

HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF PEOPLESay you have the impact of people deeply. Dr. J. Sterling Livingston , former member of the Harvard Business School and founder of Sterling Institute, a management consulting firm , observed : "People will act accordingly to the way they perceive you expected to act ." Reputation is something that many people spend a lifetime trying to validate ; then, why not help them instead of denigrate ? All people have value and potential. Those are things that can be found in everyone if one makes an effort to find them.BACK- ACTION WITH HAVING GOOD OPINION OF OTHERSWhen you support what you believe about a person through actions , doubt she has of herself will begin to dissipate. One thing is to tell your teen that thinks he's a good driver and another to pass the car keys to come out at night. Likewise , if you want a new manager achieves expressed high regard for him, then give it an important responsibility. There is nothing that gives the more confident people see someone they respect you risk for them. Not only do they strengthen emotionally , but that will be a resource in your path to success .LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND AND GIVE THEM A NEW REPUTATION FOR THE FUTURENegative names in the past , nicknames or labels can stop the development and progress of a person. Maybe that's why , in many cultures, rites of passage from one stage of life include give a name or title to the person who is being honored . A new name gives a hope for future again. A good example of this can be seen in Man of La Mancha , a play and film based Classic Cervantes, Don Quixote . The protagonist, Don Alonso, wants to become a knight errant but cross time has passed. Go where others see giant windmills and adventures where others see only see trails of rabbits. Comically , " rescues " a prostitute named Aldonza , whom he sees as a beautiful lady. The flame Dulcinea and becomes the object of his feats of knight. At first it is offended , create that you are making fun of her because Aldonza is actually hates herself and her life. But over time , the perspective that he has it replaces its own and gives hope. At the end of the play , when the old lies dying in his bed , thank you for seeing her she could not see herself. Of course, the most dramatic examples of how someone forgets the past of others and gives them a new reputation for the future is found in the Bible . In the book of Genesis , God changes Abram's life , a man old and childless , to give it a new name : Abraham , meaning " father of many " 2 And he does father their old age. And then Jacob takes a liar who deceives his brother, his father and lies constantly uses deception to get ahead ; and given a new name : Israel. Your future will become the home of the nation Israel.3GIVE THEM A NAME FOR PEOPLE SPEAK OF NEW POTENTIALHarry Hopman , one of the best tennis coaches and captains in the history of Australia and Hall of Fame International Tennis , achieved at a time to form a team that came to dominate the tennis world . How did? Emphasizing what he called " Coaching with affirmation ." For example , had a slow player who would gave the name "rocket" . At another , it was not known for his physical strength or constitution, called " muscles '. And that 's encouraged so that before long, the ' Rocket ' Rod Laver and Ken " Muscles " Rosewall became world champions . I love to put names to people talk about their potential and their greatest strengths. Of Indeed, in family know me for that. To my own children , Elizabeth and Joel Porter , I call 'the apple of my eye "and " Number one son " respectively. To my nieces Rachael and Jennifer the call " Angel " and " Sweet Pea ". My grandchildren Madeline , Hannah , John Porter and Ella are ' Sun Shine ', ' Hanna Banana ', ' JP ' and ' Peanuts ' respectively. Every time a child is born in our family, others want to know what name you 'll put . It is a tradition we love them all. Why? Because we all love that feeling of mood that occurs because someone notice us and we talk about our potential.

LES ... recapSometimes I met with leaders who believe they should not lift their ego people through a reputation I still have not won . In such cases, I always point them to " rule of ten years." The rule of ten years is one that indicates that it took at least ten years of dedicated practice and consistent before that large obtain some level of recognizable brand. Research also shows that the process can be advanced dramatically when individuals begin to see the samples that are already beginning to achieve that reputation.To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : Failures of a person in the past and focus on their future potential ask yourself: What is special , unique and wonderful this guy? How I can show your qualities to others ?Do this : Support the high esteem in which a person has by actions that reinforce that view.Remember: Many people go further than they thought they could get because someone else thought they could and the said.

7.SAY THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIMEThere is no man so high and so strong that two or three words can not discourage prosperity ; but is there any calamity that the right words will not begin to dissolve .- Ralph Waldo EmersonLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONAsk anyone who knows John and I will sometime when he said the right words in the right time. One of the most shocking stories I heard while working on this book, I told it Dan Reiland , a close friend of John and his former right hand. " John has done this many times in life ," she said . "But While most impressed me was when mother died . " His death was sudden and unexpected . Dan told him to John , who was out of town at the time. Quickly, John , and Margaret changed his plans and returned to San Diego. Dan recalls, " came home in Rancho San Diego, were over to me , hugged me and said : "We love you " . That was it. Nobody could have done better . " Then John spoke wisely with brother Dan , Len , and gave encouragement greatly to his sister , Jean. Although it has been almost ten years, I could see that Dan I was still shocked by the attitude of John . " John led a beautiful funeral service ," Dan recalled . "I gave his sermon notes which I keep and appreciation. I appreciate all that John did during that time ; however, there is nothing like those two words spoken at the very moment they entered home. " Sometimes , people who do not know John personally surprised to see how good it is to say the right words at the right time. People are used to seeing him as a speaker , which excellently done . But what they do not realize is that John is also encouraging that enjoys a genuine helping people and really understand them either above or below the platform . I remember hearing John while some administrators was going and spoke to them about the importance our words and of when we say. He said ... inadequate those words at the wrong time discouraged me . inadequate those words at the right time frustrate me . Suitable at the wrong time these words confuse me . Suitable those words at the right time encourage me .I am aware that this is true in regard to life. Do not you ? The right wordsat the right time are like a refreshing breeze of mind.A MOMENT WITH JOHN ... TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEMost people recognize that words have incredible power. The theologian and editor Tyron Edwards said : " Words can be better or worse than thoughts ; they express them and even add them things ; give them power for good or evil ; carry them in an eternal flight instruction , encouragement and blessing or wound sorrow and ruin. " But to say the right words is not enough. The time to say them is also crucial. Sometimes the best we can do for someone is to stay silent. When tempted to give a advice that has not been asked to show off, to say " I told you so ', or point out an error in another person, it is best not say anything. As the 19th century British journalist George Sala advised , we must strive "not only to say the right thing at the right time , but something more difficult : A Bad not say a tempting moment. " When it's time to talk , ask yourself: How can I encourage others to use the words appropriate at the right time ? Consider these tips:

Be SENSITIVE TIME AND PLACEIt is said that during one of the biggest offensives of World War II , General Dwight Eisenhower walking near the Rhine River when he met a soldier who looked depressed. "How you feeling, son? " He asked . "General," replied the young man , "I 'm terribly nervous ." "Well," Eisenhower said, " then we make a good pair , because I also feel nervous . Maybe if we walk a while, it will do us good . "" Apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken should ."- King SolomonThe first step to say the right thing at the right time is to pay attention to context. That is one of the secrets of successful communication to a large audience , and so is when talking to people individually. King Solomon of ancient Israel was telling the truth when he wrote : " apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken should be "1 If you can learn to be sensitive to the environment in which it is, and has won half the battle to say the right words at the right time .TELL HEARTNot only does it say when or what he says but how he says it. In one of the cartoons of Charlie Brown, Lucy tells the child pianist Schroeder " ? do you think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" Of course , she have to ask the question several times and in different ways , until Schroeder, get rid of it says : "Yes." Lucy is depressed and says bitterly : "Even when I said , really did not say ." People know the difference between hollow words and leaving the heart . Don Bennett, a man of Idaho businesses , was the first person with one leg amputated to climb to the summit of Mount Rainier. Am talking about 14,410 feet ( over 4,391 meters),with one leg and two crutches ! During part especiallydifficult climbing , Bennett and his team had to cross a field of ice. To go through the ice, climbers had to put hooks in the boot for traction . Unfortunately , one boot no It was very helpful to Bennett. The only way I could cross the ice field was dropping to the ground, propel forward as I could, stand up and then dropped again. Kathy Bennett 's teenage daughter who accompanied him on the ascent , stood by him during the four hours it took to cross . He remained constantly giving encouragement : "You can do it Dad! You're the best dad world ! You can do it ! " Two words of his daughter, said heart , helped him continue.RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIMETo say the right words at the right time can do more than just encourage the person who received at that time. You can make a positive and lasting impact . The painter Benjamin West as a boy that loved to paint . When her mother went out , he sought materials and set to work . One day, while he was painting , he spilled the paint and left the house a mess. Fearing that his mother returned and was found with that disorder , tried to clean up as best he could, but only half succeeded . When his mother arrived , Benjamin was prepared for the worst. But his mother , without a word , took the box that had tried to do , looked at his son and said, "Wow , what a beautiful painting of your sister! " He kissed her on the cheek and walked away. With that kiss , West says, he became a painter. I do not know what kind of experience have you had as a kid. Perhaps, like me , had parents who understood the power of the mind. If not , what would have been because someone had spoken at the right time : a parent , a teacher, a coach or a pastor? What whether or not received at the time, you can give now . Look for opportunities to encourage others with your words. They might change their lives.

LES ... recapNumerous studies confirm the fact that when they say the right words at the right time , is generated a number of positive results. One of the most important is trust. When you offer something to a person in need - even if it is a stranger is very likely that you will become a person reliable people perceive him as someone honorable. Surely see him as someone who considered and can confiar.3 Do not encouraged to know that?To apply these lessons to their own lives ....Forget : Of meaning and focus on what the other person needs to hear. Inquire What I'd like to hear if you were in the place of someone else? do it Make someone's day is different . Or perhaps , all his life, saying the right words at the right time and do it from the heart.Remember " Apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken should ."

8. ENCOURAGE THE DREAMS OF OTHERSStay away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. The little people always do that , but really great make you feel like you too can become great .-MARK TWAINLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONWhen I started talking to the office staff of John , one of the things I discovered was that he receives dozens of letters each week thanking him for the positive changes they have experienced through their books, seminars and lessons on CDs . I asked Sue Caldwell to let me see some of these letters . I brought a thick file containing some that she had shared with staff. Passing the pages , I noticed how many times people would write about their hopes and their dreams again lit .Two letters sticking as related to things that happened at a conference for youth leaders Christians in which John was involved . The first , written by Kevin said : Thank you ! Without being too dramatic, I cannot begin without telling you how much value added to life in recent six years. I was one of the 5500 prospects of leaders who attended ' Catalyst ' ... While last week you told us , I felt like God answered prayer ... You said, " I wish you to believe in itself as I believe in you. " That's the first time I've heard that from someone of his generation. I hear that filled a lot of energy . The second was written by Matt and said : In recent months he had discouraged me a lot and I had made the idea of the dream (which I had before tried to reach) was dying . I attended " Catalyst 2003". Unexpectedly, God moved in my heart andsaid his plan was still in effect. When you prayed for us during the session , I could not help but mourn . His words came straight from God's heart to mine. I will never forget that moment . Thanks for impact life . Matt went on to say that he had renewed his dream and persevere during this preparation period. Speaking with employees and partners John , I realized that he has repeatedly encouraged his dreams , even if it means losing someone that appreciates . Often when Tim Elmore was pastor staff John in San Diego for over 10 years has been recruited by another organization , goes to John and asks that ' remove the hat pattern and put the mentor " to ask your advice . Tim says John behaves remarkably objective and repeatedly encouraged him , saying, 'May it be a good change for you. I do not want you repent for not trying . I think you should go. " On one such trip , Tim finally went after accepting a job as vice president of an organization to outside the church in Colorado. John kept encouraging him the entire time. Tim really wanted to conduct their dreams and reach their potential.A MOMENT WITH JOHN TEACHINGMAXWELL STYLEI consider it a great privilege to me when people share their dreams. That shows me his appreciation and trust. When such a thing happens, I am aware that I have a great power in their lives. That is not insignificant because inadequate word can destroy the dream of a person ; however, a suitable word can inspire that person to continue trying to make your dream a reality. If someone considers you important enough to share with your dreams , put attention and remember this while encouraging that person :

UNDERSTAND THAT DREAMS ARE FRAGILEDreams are , by definition , doomed to short life spans .- Candice BergenActress Candice Bergen said : "Dreams are , by definition , doomed to short life spans ." suspect she said that because there are people who do not want to see others pursuing their dreams. It reminds them what far are they of his own dreams . So try to overthrow anyone who is shooting at Stars. To discourage others, people who criticize themselves excuse to stay in their comfort zones. Do not be a murderer of dreams rather become an generator dreams. Even if you think that the dream of another is very difficult to achieve , that is no excuse for the discouraged.LEAVE A DREAM IS A GREAT LOSS"Death is not the greatest loss there . The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we are alive. "- Norman CousinsHave you left any of your dreams ? Have you buried a hope that was once bright and filled energy ? If so , what caused that to you ? Norman Cousins, former editor of Saturday Review and professor associate professor of psychiatry at UCLA, used to say : "Death is not the greatest loss there . More loss great is what dies inside us while we live . " Our dreams keep us alive . Once, Benjamin Franklin said, " Most men die from the neck up when they arrive at twenty-five because they stop dreaming. " That is why it is so important that you keep alive the dream of others. Doing so will literally helping them to live and at the same time, will be feeding their souls.

ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO GO AFTER THEM YOUR DREAMS IS A WONDERFUL GIFTSince dreams are the center of the soul , we must do everything possible to make these dreams come true . That's one of the best gifts you can give. How? Follow these six steps:1. Ask them to share their dream. We all have a dream, but a few are asked to tell you.2. Ratify the person as much as his dream. Let her know you value your sleep not only but also sees features in it that will help you achieve it.3. Ask them what challenges they have to overcome to make your dream come true . Few ask others about their dreams ; let alone questions about the obstacles they have to overcome to achieve them.4. Offer to help . No one can fulfill a dream worth alone . You will be amazed to see how people are full of vitality when offering their help .5. Hold your interest in the dreams of others . If you want to help others fulfill their dreams , do not convert your participation in something one day. Ask them how they are doing and support them as you can.6. Take a daily determination to be a generator of dreams, not sink them. We all have dreams and all need encouragement. Synchronize your mental radar to be aware of the dreams of others and help in the process of achieving them.PEOPLE KEEP YOUR DREAMS ARE MADE ONCEScott Adams , creator of the Dilbert comic strip , tells the story of his beginnings as a caricaturist : You do not have to be a 'person of influence' to influence . In fact , people who have had more influence on life does not even know the things I've learned from them. When I was trying to become a cartoonist professional portfolio of work sent to several publishers . I was rejected again and again . One of them even called me to tell me I should take art classes. I kept trying until Sara Gillespie, an editor at United Media and an expert in her area , offered me a contract . At first I did not believe him . I asked if he wanted to change style , to work with a partner or to learn to draw. However, she thought I was sufficiently good to be a cartoonist whose work is published nationally. His confidence in me made to change altered perspective and what he thought of my abilities. This may sound strange, but from the moment that I hung up, I started to draw better . You can see a marked improvement in the quality of the cartoons I've drawn from that conversation. The editor Sara Gillespie gave Adams a chance to fulfill his dream , but as many as had discouraged him they felt unable to accept the offer . However, thanks to the encouragement of Mrs. Gillespie and the opportunity you gave, Dilbert is now one of the most popular comic strips in the United States. We do not know what would happen if I started to encourage the dreams of those around her . When your life is closing, would not you like to be the person to whom others refer to as "I triumphed thanks to that person believed in me when nobody else did ? " Begin to encourage others . The more you do, the more people will share their dreams and opportunities to see those dreams will blossom.

LES ... recapShould be afraid to encourage the dreams of others thinking that people would just walk in the clouds let me tell you that studies show that this practice does more than just directing the individual to seek a positive in the future . Actually it does engage more with its present activities . Technically speaking , a This is called " resonance performance model ', but no matter what you call it , there is nothing wrong with encouraging the dreams of others.To apply the teachings of John in his own life ...Forget: To criticize someone else's dream . Rather, they identify with their vision and desire to achieve .Inquire: Who I can encourage today to fulfill their dreams ?Do it: Offer help to make sure the person is closer to fulfilling his dream.Remember: When a person is sharing his dream with you , is compartindole something in the center of his soul.

9. GIVE THEM THE MERIT TO OTHERSIf we had to confess what is the greatest desire of people , what inspires their plans and actions, would say : " wanting to be praised "-E . M. CioranLES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONOne of my favorite topics of conversation with John is the publishing industry. We have discussed this issue for almost two decades. Ideas for books, titles , marketing campaigns , editorials, shelf space in bookstores, agents , etc. . We talked about almost every conceivable aspect of this industry. And since John has been one of the most successful authors in the area of leadership selling over nine million copies have always been interested in learning from your experience in publications. Some time ago , John and I shared the platform at a conference in Virginia and between sessions asked I speak of a special moment in his career as an author. " Wow , that's hard ," she said , "I have been blessed in ways that I never imagined ." " Surely there must be something" I pressed gently . "Well , when the book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership sold a million copies , Thomas Nelson, the publishing house that published it gave a banquet for 120 people in your company and INJOY to celebrate the occasion . I got some beautiful gifts , including this. " John the sleeves of his shirt stretched and showed me the cufflinks bringing gold . Each wore the number 21. " That night was amazing ." Shortly thereafter, I spoke with some of the people who attended the banquet. Kevin Small , President of INJOY , told me that when John got up to speak , thanked and quickly began to attribute credit to the people who had made this success possible. He talked about how Victor Oliver had presented the original concept ofbook and title. He recognized a group of key leaders INJOY who helped him hone those laws. He thanked Charlie Wetzel, its writer , for his ability to write the book. Ron thanked Lana Thomas Nelson, Kevin Small of INJOY and his team for organizing the tour that made the book were to be listed on the New York Times of Bestsellers . He thanked the editor Mike Hita, the sales team of Nelson, marketing personnel , distributors and many others , including their parents. Kevin told me that when John had finished, there were tears in the eyes of all the guests. Making a book is successful and gets into the hands of those who need it will always be a team effort , even when not all authors see it that way . Everyone involved in the process have a role to John met and made every effort to give credit and recognize the contribution of each one of those people .JOHN ... A MOMENT WITH TEACHING STYLE MAXWELLI will never forget that night in Orlando. When I wrote that book in 1979 , I never dreamed that anything I wrote would sell a million copies . That night as we returned to the hotel, Margaret asked me what was the best banquet . Without thinking twice I said that was when I could give credit to the people who helped me both . We rarely have the opportunity to thank enough the people who help us , especially in public places. I wanted to take advantage of that time. Not only makes us feel good to share a triumph , but also encourages others . And makes you feel like a million dollars. Give credit to others is one of the easiest ways to win people over . If you want to practice , they are here some suggestions that can help you get started:LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOORThe number one reason why people do not give credit to others is because they think that somehow they can lose yours. Many people are so insecure that they have to be constantly feeding his ego to feel compensated . But you can not practice this method of making people if the ego does not allow a side . " A selfish is not thinking much of it , but someone who thinks very little in others" Have you ever heard the saying : " A selfish is not someone who thinks a lot about it, but someone who thinks little in others " ? If you want to give credit to others , focus on them. What do you need ? How feel when they give them the credit ? How does performance improve ? How to motivate reach their potential? If you highlight the contributions that they have made it , it'll make them look good and you .NO WAIT . GIVE THE MERIT AS SOON AS POSSIBLEI love what H. Ross Perot once said when talking about giving merit : " Reward your employees sweat while they are still seen in the eyebrows. " Is not it true that the best time to recognize the merit of the other is when the amount of work and sacrifice made is still fresh in their minds ? Why wait ? You've probably heard the teaching management expert Ken Blanchard about nabbing people while they are doing something good. What a great idea! The faster you give the credit to someone else, the greater the reward. In 2003 , when I interviewed John Wooden, basketball coach at UCLA told me that their Players often say that when they write down , the player who gave the pass return and give him a smile, a wink or a sign of appreciation. "And what if it is watching me ? " Asked a player . Wooden replied, " I assure you that you will be watching ." We all love that our contribution is recognized.SAY IT IN PUBLICYou've read the chapter invites you to praise people in public, but it is good to remember . When you are gives credit to the other in front of your circle of friends and loved ones, the value of that praise is multiplied . Billy Martin , former player and manager of the New York Yankees , said : " There is nothing better in the world when someone does something good team and everyone else come together to give you a pat on the back . " When you give public credit , is helping to create the kind of environment that Martin describes .PUT IT IN WRITINGWhen you give credit to people verbally, they are being encouraged for a moment. When in writing, it is encouraging for the lifetime. People stand plates on the walls as a reminder of their achievements. Saved and treasured letters speak of recognition and appreciation for the things they did . Deep inside of us , we all want to make a difference and occasionally need some encouragement . I have a file in office with letters and notes that have a special meaning for me. Occasionally sack the file and read some of the things that people I respect have told me. That helps me relive that moment stimulus . It is said that President Abraham Lincoln used to carry a newspaper article that talked his accomplishments as president. He was one of the greatest leaders in the history of the United States, without But he wanted something to keep it lively. Please do not underestimate the impact of an article , a public note or staff can achieve. What it takes for you just a few minutes to write may be something that inspires someone else for decades.WHAT WE SAY , SAY HEARTI love this joke: An elderly man lay dying in his bed and his wife was sitting near him. When he opened his eyes and saw her, he said: " Here you are Agnes , by side again." " Yes, dear," she replied . " Come to think ," said the old man , " I remember all the times you've been to side. You were to side when received the news of recruitment and had to go to war. Been to side when our first house you burned . When I had the accident that tore our car. And you were at your side when business went bankrupt and lost everything. " " Yes, dear ," said his wife. The old man sighed . " Agnes ," he said, " you have brought me luck ." It may seem obvious , but I want to say so that not misunderstand . Never say anything that does not create just to encourage someone . If you are not sincere , you will not make people feel good; make them feel cheated . When you give the credit to others, need to do it from the heart.

LES ... recapGive credit to coworkers or colleagues is more than a good attitude. According to studies , when you give credit to others, is changing them their biochemistry and creating an " emotional impact " that relate the triumphs they have.To apply the teaching of John to his own life ...Forget : Your ego. Focus on the people around them and give them the credit they deserve.Inquire: Who has made me be more successful than it would have achieved by myself ?do it: Give public credit for a great effort as many people as you possibly can .Remember : If we were to admit what is our greatest wish , we would say : " I would like to be praised ."

10. GIVE YOU THE BESTI do the best I can do , the best that I can do ; and will continue to do so until the end.ABRAHAM LINCOLN -LES ... NOTING PRACTICE IN ACTIONFor many years I have been receiving the tapes with the leadership lessons that John taught each month. After hearing one of them entitled 'Preparing the difference between winning and losing , " I had to make a question to John . " I loved teaching and took some things that have helped me ," he said, " but I need to ask you a question . Do you really think the preparation is so important in the life of a person ? " " Absolutely ," he replied . "This is what really makes the difference between winners and losers. Preparation is more than a discipline, it is an attitude , a lifestyle . My father used to quote the Bible verse says : " Whatsoever thy hand finds to do, do it with thy might ." In other words, what you do or as you have, offers the best of you. I try to follow this principle in everything I do. " I have watched John for years and know it's true . Everything he does