20th · web viewit was a match of swings and roundabouts, ups and downs, ins and outs,...

2013

December

31st. KleinmondScramble

61 Mike, Ian, Brian, Chris (guest)62.5 Pat, Dave R., Tony H., Riaan (guest)63 Michel, John (guest), Dave B., David N.

Vic, Sam, Alan S. Keagan (guest)67.2 Dave S., Doug, Keith, Arne68 Malcolm, Geoff, Jon F., Hugh

24th. KleinmondMedal

71 Dave R. (c/i)71 Ian (c/o)72 Brain (c/i)72 Arne (c/o)74 Dave S.81 Jon F.82 Gary83 Hugh, David N.84 Geoff86 Riaan (guest)88 Pat102 Sean (guest)

17th. Kleinmond4BBB Bogey+

11 John C. / Mike (guest)10 Mike / Arne, Jon F. / Mannes, Alan S. / Gary8 Ian / Dave B., Sam / Andre F.6 Malcolm / Geoff5 Vic / Marc (guest)4 Michel / Pat, Dave S. / Tony H., Dave R. / David N.? Keith / Gary

10th. KleinmondRSA v ROW

It was a match of swings and roundabouts, ups and downs, ins and outs, backwards and forwards, tears and laughter (well laughter really), push-me-pull-yous, Boks and Jocks, Pommies and Japies, if-onlys, what-ifs, so-whats and so-be-its…….……and it continued right down to the wire and finished in an honourable draw.RSA keep the trophy on the shelf and lead the series 3 ½ to 2 ½.Madiba was looking down with a smile – he’d done it again.

Louwtjie Kruger / Ian Newman 11.5 John Tunstall / Peter Thomas 6.5Andre Hattingh / Jon Forsyth 11 John Cheesbrough / Malcolm Lazenby 7Mannes van Zyl / Brian Oosthuizen 7 Dave Smith / Dave Brittain 11Quentin Mitchell / Marc de M. Bestel 8.5 David Naylor /Geoff Crowther 9.5Hugh Frangs / Dave Rade 12 Jack Weir / Michel Maury 6Pat Dewil / Peter Theron 6.5 Peter Sulley /Alan Smith 11.5Gordon Wilson / Sam Seal 7.5 Doug Ross / Tony Hackett 10.5Fred Garrett / Andre Franken 8 Mike Graham / Alan Calder 10

RSA 72 ROW 72

05th. KleinmondFun Stableford

33 Dave Smith; 32 Malcolm Lazenby, David Naylor; 31 Tony Hackett, Mannes van Zyl; 30 Peter Theron; 29 Tony Jones; 28 Andre Franken; 27 Arne Andersen, Dave Rade; 21 Peter Thomas, Geoff Crowther.

03rd. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log) / AJ Cup

Tuesday saw the last log game of 2013 and a final chance for the potential combatants to impress their respective captains before the big international match next week.Some chose just to show off with Steady Freddie being the worst culprit. Others obviously made little effort, realising that their tenderpreneurship had already got them into the side.Judging by Tuesday’s scores, the locals have to go into this match as firm favourites, especially playing at home against a team which has no home ground of their own. Mind you that’s what they said about the Proteas against Pakistan in the ODI’s !

41 Fred Garrett; 39 Louwtjie Kruger, Ian Newman; 37 Alan Calder, Mannes van Zyl; 35 Doug Ross; 34 Alan Smith, Arne Andersen; 33 Michel Maury, John Flynn

(guest); 31 Dave Rade, Chris Martin, Mike Graham; 30 Dave Brittain; 29 Sam Seal; 27 John Cheesbrough, Jon Forsyth, Peter Thomas, Geoff Crowther, David Naylor; 26 Dave Smith; 25 Tony Jones, Hugh Frangs, John Tunstall; 23 Gordon Wilson; 19 Pat Dewil, Tony Hackett

AJ Cup:

1 Louwtjie 39 Arne 34 732 Ian 39 Dave R. 31 703 Alan S. 34 Doug 35 694 Alan C. 37 Sam 29 665 Jon F. 27 Mannes 37 646 Mike 31 Chris 31 627= Pat 19 Fred 41 607= Peter Thom. 27 Michel 33 609 John T. 25 Dave B. 30 5510 John C, 27 Geoff 27 5411 Tony J. 25 Dave S. 26 5112 Gordon 23 David N. 27 5013 Hugh 25 Tony H. 19 44

November

26th. TheewaterskloofIndividual Stableford (log)

As is customary at this time of year with just 2 weeks left before the annual international battle to end all battles, there was on display a certain amount of handicap massaging, hiding lights under bushels, keeping ones powder dry, not shooting until you see the whites of their eyes and brushing up on ones clichés.There was one notable exception though in the rookie RSA team captain and ex-Poledancer who showed his inexperience by peaking a little too early.Judging by some of the other scores there are a lot of very dim lights or Theewaterskloof has some very large bushels.

38 Andre Franken; 36 John Horobin; 34 Chris Martin; 33 John Tunstall, David Naylor, Dave Smith, Ian Newman, Quentin Mitchell,; 32 Malcolm Lazenby; 31 Alan Smith, Tony Hackett; 30 Hugh Frangs; 28 Peter Thomas; 27 Dave Brittain, Dave Rade, Roger (guest), Geoff Crowther, Peter Theron; 25 Jon Forsyth; 24 Mannes van Zyl; 23 John Cheesbrough; 21 Tony Jones; 20 Marc (guest); 10 Keith Gillott

19th.

After the plagues and pestilences of last week things could only get better – or so it seemed.The weekend’s storms caused extensive damage to the course infrastructure at Kleinmond, the spiritual home of the DOGS, and the official competition had to be cancelled. It was not a matter of life and death although we might sometimes act as though it is.Some made it to Hermanus and Theewaterskloof to doggie-paddle round for a friendly game (now there’s an oxymoron) and others just stayed at home sulking.When so much work and effort has been put into making Kleinmond a better and better venue, it is a tragedy that so much should be destroyed in just 24 hours. Good luck to them and to DOGS’ friends at TWK and Hermanus in repairing any damage quickly.

12th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (log)

Numbers were good as an Exodus of DOGS battled the plagues of Kleinmond. The first was not locusts but hundreds of buzzing, annoying flies; then, not frogs but tortoises heading for the hills before this week’s rains. And then great clumps of soil began to emerge from the earth as if disturbed by the tines of a scarifing machine.None of this seemed to worry “Howay the Lads” (or “M” as he is now mysteriously and prophetically known according to his scorecard) as he led the pack to the Promised Land.One Revelation was that the Star of David failed to twinkle.

40 Malcolm Lazenby; 38 Mannes van Zyl; 37 Peter Theron; 36 John Horobin, Alan Smith; 35 John Cheesbrough, Chris Martin; 34 Tony Jones, Ian Newman; 33 Jon Forsyth, Sam Seal, Dave Brittain; 32 Tony Hackett; 31 Andre Franken, Hugh Frangs, Vic vd Westhuizen, Gordon Wilson, Geoff Crowther; 30 Dave Smith, Peter Sulley; 27 Richard Ridge; 26 John Tunstall; 23 Peter Thomas; 20 David Naylor, Ryan Ridge (guest); 17 Dave Rade (DNF)

5th. WorcesterIndividual Stableford (Log)

A few hardy DOGS ventured into the arid desert wastelands of the Klein Karoo to take on the 35 degree heat of the oasis that is Worcester Golf Club.What little golfing talent they have deserted most of the field although at the top The Naked Chef cooked up a sweet dessert with 37 points.Pat of the Bushveld got his just deserts for notching up a record 6 rings on the trot.Luckily there were no deserters from the thirst-quenching ceremony.

37 Gordon Wilson; 35 Mike Graham; 33 Dave Brittain, Mannes van Zyl; 31 Tony Jones; 28 Tony Hackett; 26 David Naylor; 24 Alan Calder, Vic vd Westhuizen; 21 John Horobin, 20 Dave Smith; 15 Pat Dewil

October

29th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

Such is the emphasis on fashion with the DOGS these days that even the greens were dressed for the occasion on Tuesday.This was not enough to outshine the majority of the field though, as no less than 10 players scored 36 or better.First on the catwalk was Sporran McCalder with a fine figure of 41. Falling down the steps off the back of the stage however was The Yorkshire Ripper.

41 Alan Calder; 38 Hugh Frangs, Peter Theron, John Cheesbrough, John Reynell (guest), John Horobin, Ian Newman; 37 Doug Ross; 36 Peter Sulley, Pat Dewil; 29 Dave Smith; 28 Chris Martin, Vic vd Westhuizen; 25 Dave Rade, Peter Thomas; 22 Gordon Wilson; 19 Keith Gillott.

22nd. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

A beautiful day for golf at Hermanus saw the opening skirmishes in the annual international battle which culminates on 10th. December.The home team introduced an ex-pro to shoot a brilliant 41 off scratch in a devious diversionary tactic to distract from the low-scoring shenanigans at the other end of the leader board.On course, the first shots were fired as Mr. Bojangles was taken out by a well-aimed bunker chip from DOGSbody.Off course, the brandewyn and beer flowed in the respective camps as the intimidation campaigns got under way.

41 George Sauerman; 39 John Tunstall; 36 Dave Smith, Peter Thomas, John Cheesbrough; 35 Fred Garrett; 34 Alan Smith, John Horobin, Pat Dewil, Peter Theron; 33 Ian Newman; 32 Alan Calder; 30 Peter Sulley; 29 Dave Rade; 28 Hugh Frangs, Mannes van Zyl; 25 Sam Seal, Gary Wentzel; 24 Gordon Wilson; 22 Andre Franken

15th. Kleinmond

Individual Stableford (Log)

The two DOGS who barked loudest beforehand about the recently tined greens ended up vying for first place with Huge edging out The Cheeseburger - a case of selective memory loss?At the other end Cruiser Thomas, or Pinky as he is now known, held on to the hat having singlehandedly revived interest in golfing fashion. This week we saw The Naked Chef in shorts crafted from a Molteno’s tablecloth and Pat of the Bushveld’s attempt to come out in pink was thwarted by his obligations to sponsors Fanta Orange.

39 Hugh Frangs, John Cheesbrough; 37 Andre Franken, Quentin Mitchell; 34 Doug Ross; 32 Alan Calder, Ian Newman, Gary Wentzel; 31 Alan Smith; 30 Gordon Wilson, John Horobin, Mannes van Zyl, Pat Dewil; 29 Dave Smith; 28 Dave Rade; 27 Barry (guest); 26 Peter Theron; 24 Peter Sulley; 23 Peter Thomas


The Ex-Used-House-Salesman and Steady Freddy got back to winning ways on a difficult track due to the just-tined greens. The former sneaked in on countback.Their golfing prowess was overshadowed though by an eye-catching display of sartorial elegance from Cruiser Thomas who looked stunning in shocking pink. Regrettable, his golf was also shocking and when he donned the hat the colour clash brought a tear to one’s eye.

36 Ian Newman, Fred Garrett; 35 Gary Wentzel; 34 Sam Seal; 33 Alan Smith; 32 Peter Theron, Doug Ross; 31 Gordon Wilson, John Cheesbrough; 26 Dave Smith, Dave Rade; 23 Hugh Frangs; 22 Peter Thomas

1st. Theewaterskloof

A glorious early summer’s day by the water didn’t conceal the fact that, with all its twists, turns and reverses, this game could so easily have been called flog.On a low scoring day, 35 was enough to win and who would have thought that, after his recent poor run, DOGSbody would go from zero to hero.At the other end, the Ex-Used-House-Salesman fell off his perch and chirped no more, losing his log leader status in the process.A dam mad day to flog golf.

35 Dave Smith; 32 Hugh Frangs; 31 Andre Franken; 29 Peter Thomas; 28 John Cheesbrough, Peter Theron; 26 Gordon Wilson; 24 Dave Rade, Mike Graham; 23 Ian Newman

September


It felt like a dream for the large pack to get back out on the Sunshine Tour after the recent appalling weather.And the dream continued for Cruiser Thomas who, fresh back from his successful spell on the European Circuit, posted an amazing 39 points for only his second career win.The dream turned into a nightmare for others though, especially for Braveheart MacRoss who now risks losing his card and may have to concentrate on Red Heart / Captain Morgan co-sponsored events.

39 Peter Thomas; 38 Mannes van Zyl; 37 Sam Seal; 35 Andre Franken, Hugh Frangs; 34 Andre Hattingh; 33 Brian (guest), Pat Dewil; 32 Peter Sulley; 31 Dave Rade, Alan Smith; 29 Jon Forsyth, Ian Newman, Ray Calitz (guest); 27 Fred Garrett; 25 Dave Smith, Mike Graham; 23 Peter Theron; 21 Doug Ross


Early morning showers reduced the field by some fair-weather pups but, faint heart never scoring a birdie, the brave few were rewarded with what turned out to be a largely sunny outing.The EX-Used-House-Salesman got back to winning ways with a steady 37 (plus commission).The Naked Chef, on the other hand, burnt his fingers. He did, however, come first in the post-match beer bottle jukskei competition.

37 Ian Newman; 34 Richard Ridge; 33 Mike Graham; 32 Fred Garrett; 29 Alan Smith; 23 Doug Ross; 22 Dave Smith; 16 Gordon Wilson

August


One DOG’S gale is another DOG’S zephyr.

A few (fool-) hardy golfers braved the falling Blue Gums past Arabella to reach a windswept and deserted Kleinmond on Tuesday.The Ex-Poledancer was wafted gracefully back up his pole after the previous week’s disaster.The Twitcher, on the other hand, was blown from his hide to register a new lifer.The Ripper wimped out after 9 but was made to pay later in Tipples – not literally, of course, as he is from Yorkshire.

34 Andre Franken; 33 Mannes van Zyl; 29 Alan Smith; 27 Gordon Wilson, Ian Newman; 24 Dave Smith; 21 Ryan Ridge (guest); 19 Richard Ridge; 18 Mike Graham; 10 Keith Gillott (DNF)


The pubs in Hermanus had a quiet Tuesday as the DOGS were lured out and on to the Kleinmond fairways by a rare day of sunshine.Laser Smith took full advantage to record an overdue win despite a late sprint (well more of a trundle) from Half-time Shirley.At the other end, The Ex-Poledancer finally slid down his pole and lost his post-match bragging rights. Photographs of him modelling the hat are available on most social media sites.

38 Alan Smith; 37 Peter Sulley; 35 Mannes zan Zyl; 34 Dave Smith; 33 Doug Ross, Ian Newman; 28 Sam Seal; 25 Keith Gillott, Gary (guest); 24 Gordon Wilson; 23 Andre Franken; 13 Richard Ridge (DNF)

July


It was one small step for man but one giant leap for Huge who recorded his first ever victory in over 7 years of trying.Most of the rest of the field performed pretty well on a glorious Cape winter’s day.The exception was DOGSbody for whom the hat has become like a London bus – you don’t see any for ages and then two come along one right after the other.

40 Hugh Frangs; 38 Doug Ross, Mannes van Zyl; 35 Gordon Wilson; 33 Pat Dewil, Sam Seal; 31 Alan Smith, Louwtjie Kruger; 30 Ian Newman; 29 Keith Gillott; 28 Richard Ridge; 24 Dave Smith

16th. ArabellaIndividual Stableford (Log)

It was back to the log on Tuesday and Scottish sport reached a new high as Dougal MacRoss was the first Scot to win at Arabella for 77 years. He is expecting an invitation to tea at Number 10 and deserves the nationwide clamour for him to be knighted.Arabella, despite the beautiful weather, took its toll on most of the other contenders, especially Dogsbody, who felt 77, needed a cup of tea and deserves to be put to the sword.

34 Doug Ross, 32 Mike Graham, Tony Wreglesworth; 31 Andre Franken; 30 Quentin Mitchell; 29 Gordon Wilson; 28 Marc (guest), Mannes van Zyl; 26 Peter Sulley; 24 Peter Theron, Alan Smith; 21 Dave Smith

9th. Kleinmond

It was a fun golf day on Tuesday for the DOGS – an oxymoron if ever there was one.The hardened few played a medal competition and managed to finish before supper time. The rest got on with the matchplay competition preferring to be beaten up by an opponent rather than the course.The Ex-Poledancer won the medal thanks to a new pole. New member “15%” van Zyl spent so much time in the dam he is now entering the Midmar Mile.

Medal: 67 (82) Andre Franken; 74 (105) Dave Smith; 79 (95) Gordon Wilson; 80 (99) Peter Theron, (105) Ian Newman; 83 (119) Keith Gillott; 88 (112) Derek van ZylMatchplay: Alan Smith bt. Mike Graham 2&1; Peter Sulley bt. Doug Ross 2&1

2nd. HermanusStableford Alliance

The DOGS became political animals on Tuesday as they were forced to play as part of a team.The Tri-Partite Alliance came out on top despite, or perhaps because of, some evidence of tampering with the score cards and bending the rules in its favour.The Democratic Alliance, as is their wont, was counted out in second place.Last came Agang of losers who couldn’t Cope.

81 (c/i): Alan Smith, Fred Garrett, Quentin Mitchell81 (c/o) Mike Graham, Peter Sulley, Sam Seal, Peter Theron70: Andre Franken, Doug Ross, Dave Smith

June


It was more Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares than Masterchef on Tuesday for the DOGS in the cauldron that is Royal Kleinmond.Most of the eleven starters failed to come up to standard and were totally underdone.It was left to The Naked Chef to show the way and his main course work was better than it has been for some time. He was the only one really cooking.When it came to puddings, there were one or two in evidence but guest Keagan was the Spotted Dick.

38 Gordon Wilson; 34 Ian Newman; 33 Sam Seal; 31 Andre Franken; 29 Keith Gillott; 28 Alan Smith, Peter Sulley, Peter Theron; 26 Dave Smith; 24 Alan Calder; 19 Keagan Seal (guest)


The going was perfect for the running of the “Surely That’s Not Your” Handicap at Kleinmond on Tuesday.The Ex-Poledancer galloped in first like the cowboy he has just shown himself to be in his early days.The Yorkshire Ripper came in a creditable second despite having to change horses mid-race. His first steed, trained and bred by Mr. Halifax, pulled a fetlock.Mr. Security’s horse bolted.There was the usual horsing around in the pub after the race.

38 Andre Franken; 36 Keith Gillott; 34 Gordon Wilson, Mannes van Zyl, Peter Sulley; 32 Ian Newman, Sam Seal; 30 Fred Garrett, Quentin Mitchell; 29 Dave Smith, Alan Smith; 26 Peter Theron; 25 John Tunstall

May


It was a case of the survival of the fittest DOGS with no less than 7 down with either rest and recuperation, replacement of worn-out body parts or, even worse, man flu.That left just The Hardy Boys to face the Kleinmond drizzle in a Darwinian dogfight.The Ex-Pub-Landlord made a rare descent from The Valley to proclaim his alpha male status.Despite a plucky recovery on the back 9, The Yorkshire Ripper was left to contemplate the origin of his species.

41 Andre Hattingh; 40 Doug Ross; 35 Andre Franken; 33 Gordon Wilson, Ian Newman; 32 Quentin Mitchell; 31 Sam Seal, Mannes van Zyl; 30 Dave Smith; 28 Hugh Frangs; 26 Keith Gillott

21st. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

It’s not often that the Scots get a double, especially if they’re paying, but it happened on Tuesday as Dougal and Jock beat the rest of the field in a tartan one-two. Dougal’s gross 82 off 16 was particularly impressive and they celebrated well into the night at a gathering of the clans over a half of heavy and a packet of porridge-flavoured chips.Other scores at Kleinmond were generally respectable apart perhaps from David, whose Star failed to twinkle.

42 Doug Ross; 37 Jack Weir; 35 Dave Smith, Mannes van Zyl; 34 Gordon Wilson; 33 Ian Newman, Peter Sulley; 32 Fred Garrett; 31 Andre Franken, Keith Gillott; 27 Alan Smith; 18 David Rade


Sickness, injuries, holidays and that most despised 4-letter word, after golf, work all conspired to produce a very select starting field at Kleinmond and an even more select finish.DOGSbody took advantage of there being less people to beat and posted a rare victory to add to his stats, just pipping Twitcher Graham.Mr Bojangles took advantage of there being less people to lose to by leaving early, claiming that his mind was elsewhere. So was his scorecard.

40 Dave Smith; 39 Mike Graham; 35 Alan Smith; 34 Ian Newman; 32 Gordon Wilson, Fred Garrett, Doug Ross; 29 Keith Gillott, Andre Franken; 28 Alan Calder; 26 Dave Rade; 18 Alan (Guest); 4 Sam Seal (DNF)

7th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

Another beautiful day in paradise and the bokmakieries and hadedahs at Hermanus were doing their best to put the DOGS off in the middle of their backswings.They couldn’t outwit Twitcher Graham though who flew in as Top Dog with 39 points. He was just pipped for the prize on countback by guest Derek who, of course, will not be invited again.A rules official had to be called when Enzo’s playing partners could not decide whether or not he had lost what may or may not have been his ball in play in what was or possibly was not a hazard – and vice versa. The rules official gave up.

39 Mike Graham, Derek van Zyl (guest); 38 Quentin Mitchell; 35 Dave Smith, Andre Franken, Gordon Wilson; 34 Peter Sulley, Alan Calder; 33 Hugh Frangs; 32 Tony Runkel (guest), Mannes van Zyl; 31 Alan Smith; 30 John Cheesbrough; 29 Sam Seal; 28 Vic vd Westhuizen; 26 John Tunstall, Peter Thomas; 25 Alan (guest), Craig vd Westhuizen (guest); 23 Keith Gillott

April


Tuesday’s weather was glorious. There was no wind. The greens were true and quick. The fairways were lush. The scores were rubbish.Enzo roared in with 37, a good 10 points less than the previous week’s winner, beating Tam O’Shanter on countback. These were the only two to beat their handicaps.The whole field managed to score over 4 points less on average using the same clubs and balls, on the same course, in the same conditions.If anyone out there understands this game of golf, they are welcome to come on the next DOGS outing to explain it.

37 Mannes van Zyl, Doug Ross; 36 Gordon Wilson; 35 Mike Graham; 34 Alan Smith; 32 Keith Gillott; 30 Richard Ridge, Dave Smith; 29 Vic vd Westhuizen, Alan Calder, Ian Newman; 28 Fred Garrett, John Cheesbrough, Geoff Crowther, Andre Franken; 27 Dave Brittain; 26 Hugh Frangs, Peter Sulley, Jack Weir; 25 Pat Dewil; 24 Peter Thomas; 22 David Rade, Alan (guest)

23rd. Kleinmond

Individual Stableford (Log)

Tuesday produced glorious weather, fine golf and a fairy-tale 47 points from Hans Christian on his final outing before he jets off for both days of the Danish Summer.The field generally excelled itself with an average score of over 33 but there was a tight battle at the bottom. Cruiser was convinced he had it but he was pipped at the post by a determined collapse from the Hunter who scored a maiden hat trick.

47 Arne Andersen; 40 Ian Newman; 39 Dave Smith, Alan Smith; 37 John Cheesbrough; 36 Mike Graham, Pat Dewil; 35 Hugh Frangs, Peter Sulley; 33 Doug Ross, Alan Calder; 32 Tony Hackett, Gordon Wilson; 31 Dave Brittain; 29 Mannes van Zyl; 27 Sam Seal; 25 John Tunstall; 23 Peter Thomas; 22 Peter Theron


It was back to the old routine this week as the DOGS managed to get round Kleinmond before the cold front, although it did push them very close.The full force of the first North-Westerly of the year was not enough to drive Enzo van Zyl off course as he yet again crossed the line in first place narrowly beating Half-time Shirley.At the other end of the field and after weeks of coming so close, Mr. Hacker finally got his just reward. 39 Mannes van Zyl; 38 Peter Sulley; 35 Chris Martin, Sam Seal; 34 Doug Ross; 33 Mike Graham, Ian Newman; 32 Andre Franken; 31 Gordon Wilson, Arne Andersen; 30 John Cheesbrough; 29 Dave Smith, Peter Theron, Keith Gillott; 28 Dave Brittain, Alan Smith; 27 Vic vd Westhuizen; 25 Peter Thomas; 22 Tony Hackett

11th. TheewaterskloofIndividual Stableford (Log)

Another weather-induced change of date and venue resulted in a very exclusive field at TWK comprising mainly those who had declined an invitation to play at Augusta.Scores were surprisingly low and saw Enzo van Zyl comfortably back in the driving seat.The Naked Chef made the hat his own on countback having visited parts of the course even the greenkeeper did not know existed.

35 Mannes van Zyl; 34 Dave Smith; 33 David Naylor; 32 Ian Newman; 31 Peter Thomas; 30 Andre Franken; 29 Geoff Crowther, Chris Martin; 22 Tony Hackett, Gordon Wilson


The switch from Tuesday to Thursday because of the weather proved beneficial as, on a glorious autumnal morning, the drive to TWK was better than most of those seen on the course.The occasion provided a rare win for Dogsbody but the biggest surprise of the day was the Ex-Poledancer’s fall to earth.He only narrowly avoided his maiden hat on countback, desperately disappointing his “supportive” mates in the process.

40 Dave Smith; 39 Quentin Mitchell, Gordon Wilson; 38 Geoff Crowther, Mike Graham; 36 Peter Theron; 35 Chris Martin; 33 Malcolm Lazenby, Graham (guest); 31 John Tunstall, Arne Andersen; 29 Dave Brittain, David Naylor; 28 Doug Ross; 27 Paul Barclay (guest); 26 John Cheesbrough; 25 Peter Thomas; 24 Andre Franken, Vic vd Westhuizen

March


A stiff breeze brought scores back to normal this week with only a few exceptions. The Ex-Poledancer just pipped a much Steadier Freddy with a handicap-cutting 42. Mr. Hacker was close behind.There was a competitive battle for the hat which was won on countback by previous multiple winner Enzo much to the relief of Sheffield Rob who was in line for a debt the size of Cyprus’s.Guest Graham had to be rescued from the bushveld after father-in-law Twitcher Graham abandoned him at the turn.

42 Andre F.; 41 Fred; 40 Tony H.; 37 Geoff, John C., Ian; 36 Arne; 34 Malcolm, Mike, Gordon, John H.; 33 Peter Ther.; 31 Alan S., David N., Dave S. Rob; 30 Graham (guest), Chris; 29 Keagan (guest); 28 Alan C.; 27 Pat; 26 Brendan; 25 Peter Thom.; 24 Doug, Keith, Nigel, Mannes; 8 Sam (DNF)


Either Kleinmond is getting easier or the DOGS are getting better.A superb overall performance indicated the latter on Tuesday and was crowned by a magnificent 42 from Floss Horobin.An unusually unsteady Freddy was caught trying to abandon his trolley and clubs into Kleinmond’s famous sloot. Surely 31’s not that bad Fred? Guest Rob tried to bring the level down to normal canine standards and has been accepted as a new member in recognition.

42 John H.; 40 Ian; 38 Alan C.; 37 John C., Chris, Andre F., Sam, Mannes; 35 Arne, Mike, Tony W., Gordon; 34 Dave B., Dave S., John T., Nigel; 33 Tony H., Brendan B., David N.; 32 Geoff, Richard, Pat; 31 Fred, Keith; 28 Peter S.; 27 Peter Ther.; 26 Peter Thom., Jack; 24 Rob (guest)


Dave was away but the DOGS still play.

42 Mannes; 40 Dave B., Peter Ther.; 38 Ian; 37 John C., Tony H.; 36 Chris; 35 Hugh; 34 Gordon; 33 Jack, Andre F., David N., Paul (guest), Alan C.; 32 Tony J., Brendan; 31 John H., Rob (guest), Keith, Geoff; 30 Mike; 29 Sam, Tony W.; 25 Peter Thom.; 34 Alan S.; 22 Pat; 20 Sean (guest)


After the spectacular scoring of the previous week, Tuesday at Hermanus saw the DOGS back at their usual level of average to indifferent.38 points was enough for Floss Horobin to flash a toothy grin but Cruiser Thomas was the only one who could be said to have really pushed the boat out, playing well above his usual game.Old DOG Big George I made a guest appearance and did not disappoint. His early departure led to his sponsor, The Naked Chef, taking the hat by default.

38 John H.; 37 Alan (guest); 36 Peter S.; 35 Peter Thom.; 34 Paul (guest); 33 Alan S., Mannes; 32 Alan C., Tony R. (guest), David N.; 31 Andre F.; 30 Tony W., Dave S., John T., Rob (guest); 29 Bob; 27 Jack; 26 Peter Ther., Arne, Keith, Mike, Brendan; 25 Tony J., Geoff; 22 Gordon; 21 George (guest)

February


Soaring Stableford scores, re-written records and hacked handicaps were the order of the day as the DOGS laid waste to the Kleinmond course on Tuesday.The Ex-Used-House Salesman played out of his skin to produce an obscene 46 points whilst Old Bill, Legal Eagle, Half-time Shirley and the Ex-Poledancer all beat 40 points. Playing to one’s handicap was only good enough for 11 th. place.Some of the guests were obviously overawed by the standards they were up against.

46 Ian; 44 Bob, Peter Ther.; 43 Peter S.; 42 Andre F.; 39 John H.; 38 Richard; 37 Dave B., Arne, Mannes; 36 Dave S., Geoff; 35 Tony J.; 34 Sam, Alan C., Gordon; 33 Hans (guest), Paul (guest); 32 Chris; 31 Rob (guest), Tony H.; 30 David N.; 29 Ian (guest), Hugh, Mike; Nigel; 24 Peter Thom., Keith; 23 Alastair (guest); 5 Andy (guest)


The apparent early onset of the Cape Winter on Tuesday sent some swallows (and not a few endemics) into premature flight as over half the field sought drier conditions at the turn.A few light showers though were not enough to deter the (fool)hardy dozen who carried on and the Legal Eagle soared above the rest with an impressive haul of 38 points.There was some unity restored however as the inclement weather made wringers of everybody.

38 Peter Ther.; 35 Andre F., Mannes; 31 Dave B.; 30 Ian, Chris, Gordon; 29 Tony H., Tony J.; 28 Dave S.; 25 Paul (guest); 19 Allan (guest); Rest DNF: 18 Tony W.; 17 Mike, John H.; 16 Geoff, Bob, Hugh; 15 Keith, Alan C.; 13 Sam; 12 Peter Thom., Alan S. 10 Bill (guest), David N., Michel


There was a Pointsfest at Kleinmond on Tuesday as the DOGS racked up 1012 – an average of 32.6. This has not happened since Bafana Bafana last netted 5 away from home.Sporran McCalder was top of the pile, buoyed by his country’s success on the rugby field. The Irish and French contingents did their bests to extricate themselves from the mires of their respective failures.Babybel has bottomed out and is on his way back but is still a little Blue.

42 Alan C.; 40 Peter Ther.; 39 Tony W.; 38 Fred, John H., Michel; 37 Ian; 36 Bob, Tony H.; 34 Andre F., Sam, Paul (guest); 33 Pat, Dave S., David N., Mike; 32 Brendan; 31 Gordon, Dave B., Arne, Peter Thom. Keith, Tony J., John T.; 29 Geoff, Hugh, Peter S.; 26 Alan S.; 25 Bill (guest), Mannes; 22 John C.


It was 2 in a row for the Guv’nor when further investigation revealed a better score than DOGSbody on the back 9.Mr. Bojangles was held in custody following a high speed chase from Kleinmond.In last place, The Big Cheese was more of a Babybel.Apologies for last week’s non-PC comments about policewomen, black stockings and suspenders. The reference should, of course, have been to policewomen and policemen.

36 Bob, Dave S.; 35 Andre H.; 33 Ian, David N.; 31 Peter Ther.; 30 Mike, Michel; 29 John H., Tony W., Pat; 28 Tony J., David R., Sam; 26 Peter S., John T., Andre F.; 25 Dave B., Peter Thom.; 24 Hugh; 22 Brendan; 21 Tony H.; 18 John A. (guest); 10 John C. (DNF)

January


Kleinmond again produced plenty of wind on Tuesday but that is not uncommon when the DOGS are around.We witnessed a maiden victory from the man who put the “Old” into “Old Bill” and remembers the days when lady coppers wore suspenders purely to keep their black stockings up. There was a Ray of sunshine for The Naked Chef and Pat of the Bushveld as one guest graciously relieved them of any further ignominy.

38 Bob; 36 Tony J.; 35 Andre F., Alan C.; 34 Tony W.; 33 Dave B., Brendan; 32 Peter S., Peter Ther.; 31 John H.; 30 Malcolm, Dave R., Mike, Hugh; 29 Alan S.; 28 Tony H., Dave S., Peter Thom., Geoff; 26 David N., John T.; 25 Gordon, John (guest), Pat; 22 Ray (guest)

22nd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

How fitting that a Scot should top the leaderboard just days before the clans gather to celebrate the birth of national poet and folk hero Rab C. Nesbitt.After 2 spectacular weeks, Enzo only managed to reach halfway this time, claiming that his engine had been tampered with the previous evening.With 2 ex-coppers now in the squad, an investigation has begun into an allegation of attempted murder following an incident involving Mr. Fruit & Veg, The Yorkshire Ripper and a “deliberate shank”.

36 Alan C.; 34 Dave B., John H.; 33 Malcolm, Geoff, Bob, Ian; 31 David N.; 30 Dave S., Patl, Peter S., Alan S.; 29 Dave R., Gordon, Hugh; 28 Peter Ther., John T., Brendan; 27 Andre F., Sam, Tony W.; 25 Tony J., Keith, Andy (guest); 22 Peter Thom.; 16 Mannes (DNF)


For the second week running, Enzo van Zyl raced round the track leaving all in his wake. His progress will be slowed slightly by a well-deserved limiter imposed by the SAGA computer.The Ex-Poledancer and Pat of the Bushveld were the only others to beat their handicaps in what were difficult windy conditions. The Yorkshire Ripper became The Yorkshire Stripper when he found the ladies’ tees not totally to his liking.There was a long break in play on the 18th. when Half-time Shirley struggled to find the nearest point of relief.

44 Mannes; 39 Andre F.; 37 Pat; 35 Peter Ther.; 33 John H.; 32 Malcolm, Dave S.; 31 Ian; 30 John T.; 29 Sam, Tony W.; 25 Dave B.; 24 Gordon; 23 David N., Tony J.; 21 Peter S., Fred; 20 Peter Thom.; 19 Keagan (guest); 17 Keith


It was a great start to the year for the DOGS, especially for the South Africans.A stunning display of golf from South African Enzo van Zyl with 44 points showed what the South Africans are capable of. (Where is this going? Ed.)Only Flosser Horobin was able to break the South African dominance of the top 5 places and a brilliant round from the South African Ex-Poledancer was spoiled by a desperate run of bad luck on the back nine. (That’s enough. Ed.)The opening ceremonial tee-off was marred when the Yorkshire Ripper didn’t actually get the ball off the tee – perhaps the honour should have gone to a South African. (OK that’s it! Ed.)

44 Mannes; 38 John H.; 37 Chris (guest); 36 Ian, Richard; 35 John T.; 33 Alan C.; 32 Dave S., Peter Thom., Peter Ther., Andre F., Vivian (guest); 31 Colin (guest); 30 Tony J.; 29 Dave B., Michel, Keith, Gordon; 28 Ian (guest), David N.; 22 Malcolm, Pat; 18 Geoff

20th · web viewit was a match of swings and roundabouts, ups and downs, ins and outs,...

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