Immaculate Heart of Mary School NewsletterMay:2015Teen Tantrums: Ten Ways to Ensure Anger Doesnt Rule Your House(Our thanks to Blue Ribbon, Schools of Excellence and David Walsh, Ph.D for the article.) The periods of childhood and school-life are soon past and then there !e"ins a period of life which is indeed frau"ht with dan"ers for your son and your dau"hter# It is the period of transition in which the life-course of your child is definitely settled its character firmly fi$ed and its %ocation decided# It is the period which decides the weal or woe of your child&s whole future !oth temporal and eternal# 'urin" this period the !attle !etween (hrist and Satan !etween the (hurch and the )orld ra"es more than e%er for the possession of the heart of your "rowin" !oy and "irl# In this period your child e$periences new and stran"e sensations* and no%el ideas inclinations and desires present themsel%es* they promise pleasure and more or less insistently demand "ratification# +n e%ery side the child !eholds the allurin" appeals of the three-fold concupiscence e%erywhere it sees the wanton a!andon with which the %otaries of the world seem to surrender themsel%es to e%ery en,oyment and pleasure# -ew it sees who follow in the footsteps of (hrist few who mortify their passions and deny their inclinations and these few are despised and ridiculed# )ill your child ,oin the !i" crowd or will it follow in the wa.e of the few/It0s not easy !ut here are some steps that can help you ta.e char"e and teach your .ids a %ery important life lesson#Modeling. The first step in pre%entin" out-of-control !eha%ior in our teens is modelin"# )e0ll !e less a!le to confront our teen0s inappropriate !eha%ior if we lose control oursel%es# If you do lose control of your an"er find a way to mend and apolo"i1e#Adjust your expectations. 2emem!er that chan"in" an unhealthy pattern won0t chan"e o%erni"ht# 3oo. for pro"ress not perfection#Tal. (hoose a time to ha%e this serious and important discussion when there is no immediate !urnin" issue or amped up emotions# (hec. out these tips on a%oidin" power stru""les#!alidate "eelings. Ma.e sure your teen .nows that !ein" an"ry is o.ay# It is not o.ay to fly off the handle throw thin"s swear or threaten# Tal. a!out more appropriate and respectfulways to handle and mana"e !i" feelin"s li.e an"er##e an emotion coac$. )hen thin"s escalate remem!er that you are your teen0s primary emotion coach - learnin" how to handle disappointment and an"er is part of "rowin" up##e clear. 4e %ery specific a!out what !eha%iors you will accept# +ur .ids need to .now that they step o%er an important line when they call us names scream swear threaten or throw and !rea. thin"s#%ormali&e it. (onsider creatin" a formal 52espect 6lan5 to"ether that lays out a roadmap for respectful !eha%ior# Start !y writin" down the "oal 7for e$ample: to treat one another with respect8 and then "enerate the !eha%iors that are out-of-!ounds 7for e$ample: hittin" throwin" thin"s or name callin"8# Ma.e sure that you also write down what the reward will !e if the "oal is met for a specific num!er of days and appropriate conse9uences if not#Dra' t$e line. )e should ne%er let our .ids "et what they want if they can0t respect themsel%es and others# (on%ersations should end for e$ample if out-of-control !eha%ior starts# Ma.e sure to come !ac. to the con%ersation once your child is under control a"ain#2emind your .ids that respectful !eha%ior is a prere9uisite to ne"otiation#Teac$ .ids a!out their !rains# :$plain to them that they need to practice strate"ies to a%oid lettin" their !rain "et hi,ac.ed !y an"er# I e$plain this in detail in my !oo. on adolescents)hy 'o They ;ct That )ay/ ; Sur%i%al