Elder Family MediationElder Family MediationElder and Disability Law ForumElder and Disability Law Forum

May 30, 2012May 30, 2012

Charlie RobinsonClearwater, FL

www.charlie-robinson.comelderlaw@charlie-robinson.com

Family Dispute ResolutionFamily Dispute Resolution

Family disputes can impair or destroy the professional’s ability to provide workable client solutions.

Failure to resolve these disputes can result in

Lifetime of hard feelings Litigation Problem may

never be solved

WhenWhen Any serious family issue that needs a family

decision may lend itself to elder family mediation and strategic planning.

The threat of litigation is not necessary but a need to feel the family can and should resolve the issue is necessary.

Everyone in the family will be heard and understand and hopefully support the resolution of the problem.

WhyWhyElder Family Mediation may keep the family together and arrive at a sensible consensus resolution to the dispute.

AdvantagesAdvantages Less costly than

◦ litigation ◦ no decision at all

Family long range strategic plan

Not family counseling

ResultsResultsThe consensus solution should be better than any individual proposals initially presented

Examples:Examples:

Kids from first marriage complaining about Medicaid planning

Fights about personal property among kids◦ with a will or not◦ tchotchkes (trinkets) ◦ not cash or even the house

HealthHealth Physical, emotional, or mental decline Health and safety concerns Independence and self-determination versus

safety including driving.

CareCare

Disputes over placement and cost of care for failing parent

Residence and long term care decisions

Caregiver issues How to compensate the

caregiver child

DecisionsDecisions Advance directives

who makes what decisions Medical treatment decisions End of life decisions

FinancesFinances How to handle parents’ investment portfolio

and choice of financial advisor Financial concerns and tax issues Consider selling the house and other

valuable assets

DeathDeath Death of spouse Burial disputes Inheritance disputes

The Rescuer The Rescuer Swooping - flying in from out of town and

trying to resolve many issues in a short period of time.

Often runs over the sibling who has provided hands on care for some time.

Any family situation that is not resolved that needs resolution

Every professional serving elders and their families can identify with the examples illustrated here. If the decisions to be made are important to the family, the elder family mediation process may make the family stronger than it was before the need for mediation and at the same time allow the professional to do a better job where all clients are pulling together and in the same direction.

Professional Serving Elders Professional Serving Elders Decisions important to the familyProcess may make the family strongerAllow the professional to do a better job Everyone pulling together for shared goal

The Darling Family StoryThe Darling Family Story

Putting the pieces together

The ProcessThe Process Each family has a unique, often tacit

understanding of how decisions are made and conflicts resolved known as their “dispute system.”

Mediation is a good way to review and reconsider this dispute system

Consensus building model process:◦ Convening◦ Conflict assessment◦ Agenda building

IntakeIntake

Understand the issues.

The mediator asks each family member to provide a summary of the issues and where they stands on each of the issues the family is facing.

Private SessionsPrivate Sessions

The mediator will often meet privately in person or on the telephone to listen to each person’s story and gain perspective on each family member’s perspective.

Family Meeting(s)Family Meeting(s) Help resolve the issues Meeting summary and follow up

Everybody is HeardEverybody is Heard

GoalGoal

Work toward long term solutionsSatisfied constituencies

Avoid taking a vote and thus creating a discontented minority

Periodic ConsensusPeriodic Consensus Wholeheartedly agree –

Good idea Will support –

Can live with this Have reservations –

Want to talk Have serious concerns –

Must talk Cannot be part of this –

Must block it

ResultsResults Happy Family Best Care of Senior Financial Security Defined Goals Plan of Action

Visit our Web SiteVisit our Web Site

www.Charlie-Robinson.comwww.CharlieRobinsonFuturist.com

Or Email Comments to Elderlaw@Charlie-Robinson.com

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