we begin to understand and can move with the process. Maybe it’s a verbal statement, or an imaginational statement of just visualizing – seeing, feeling, knowing that we are, in some form or another, sharing our Loving with God and opening to receive God’s Loving. Eventually, it will come into alignment inside of us.

I used to work in the junior high office and one of my jobs was to mimeograph tests for teachers. I’m not mechanical in nature and so I struggled within myself for several days feeling inadequate. I was given a manual to read but didn’t understand it. I’d stand in front of the machine and say, “Now, what do I do?” Finally, I realized that I just had to do it because I wasn’t going to learn it any other way. By the mistakes I made I learned what not to do and I also learned what to do until I suddenly went from trying to figure it out to the action of being in the process of copying things.

And that’s what this meditation is about. We begin by doing. By trial and error, we find out how to give and how to open ourselves to receive. Keep in mind that the automatic response in giving is to receive. Once we learn this and are doing the process of loving God and God loving us, the true meaning of giving and receiving, then we can take this action into the world.

Sometimes, I will give gratitude to somebody and they will immediately say, “Oh, you don’t need to say thanks.” We may find we do that very thing with God and, in doing so, stop the flow. If we find ourselves going into resistance, we simply need to hold a focus in that moment and say, “I’m just going to see what it feels like to receive.”

Just as we have opened ourselves to giving, we can also open ourselves to receiving, and then we truly are living the fullness of Loving; we truly are moving into that flow of a dynamic living force living life in a fuller way. And remember, whether it is from God, a friend, a family member, or whomever, the full experience of giving is also that of receiving.

Volume 23 Number 2 August, 2011

INNER LIGHT MInIstrIes JournalINNER LIGHT MInIstrIes Journal

pen To Receive Loving

(from Everything Begins With Loving God, 6/27/10)

by Jim Gordon, President of ILM

O

There’s a simple statement that has supported me through my journey of life and my inner journey with God, which is: As you give so shall you receive.

As a child, I often focused on the process of giving into the world without really paying attention to the deeper meaning of that statement. That was until I began to truly do my prayer, which later became meditation, and then I realized that the true action of giving and receiving begins, not in the world, not with others, not outside ourselves, but inside; the action of giving and receiving is really with God. First, we begin with giving and receiving with God. And that can be a big journey unto itself because many of us are good givers but aren’t great receivers. We don’t feel worthy and, for whatever reason, we block off that action of receiving.

Yet, what is it that we want more than anything else? We want to receive. We want love. We want gifts, praise, thanks or whatever it is, we want to receive, but at the same time, we shut down, we push the praise or thanks away because we don’t know how to receive.

The easiest way to learn this process of giving and receiving is to spend time every day giving to God. And what do we have to give God? God doesn’t want anything of the physical nature. He wants of our spirit, and our spirit is Loving. So what God wants from us in this process of giving and receiving is Loving; to give love, to share love, to be in Loving with Him. And then, He wants us to open to receive Loving. This may take time to develop inside of us, or it may happen right away – it’s just different for everyone depending on where we are on our journey. Just know that as we begin this process of giving and receiving, ultimately we are going to truly experience it.

At first, we may say that we don’t know what Loving is, that we don’t feel it, so how can we share it? Just do it. Sometimes we just have to do it … and do it … until

move a little faster than it does. It’s almost pointless to say, “Hang in there,” because what else are we going to do anyway? Even if we walk away from something, we never really walk away from it. It follows us wherever we go. Better to hang in there until it’s complete.

But, know that you will need to do some work on your part. Do the inner work; learn how Spirit works (listen to our CD’s) and do the process of LAF - Loving, Accepting, and Forgiving. This is how we can let go of our attachments and begin to learn how to be in Spirit, and not be so caught up in the world. We’ll then begin to see the greater change that we are seeking. And, meditate! Meditating is how we can put our prayers into action. I know nothing better to handle the whole myriad of human conditions, including what you share of feeling “...overwhelmed and lost right now.”

Secondly, you asked if there is anything more we can tell you. I know you want physical answers that will solve everything, but those come less frequently and only as needed. There’s nothing else to do but the inner work. In doing the inner work we clear the space so that things can move more quickly in the world. It’s a journey of both God and us. God is doing God’s part, and we need to do our part, both on the outer and on the inner. So, do your meditation and LAF. And of course, if there is anything more that Spirit shares with us, we will share with you.

Jim and I really do love you, and if there’s anything more we can do spiritually to assist you, please know that we’re always looking to do that. We share openly and honestly, and we always focus on, and look for, Spirit through it all. Even though it is a challenging time for you right now, I hope my words give you some comfort. We have complete faith that this will work out with a good outcome even though we don’t know the details and timing of it all. Be patient, because things always do work out.

Much Loving, Brian

by Brian Yeakey, Vice President of ILM

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eTTing go ofATTAchmenTs

Dear Initiate,

On our journey, we’ll confront all our fears and attachments; we’ll begin to

choose to move past them and into the greater freedom of Spirit ... this is the real spiritual journey. For things to change, we have to be willing to let go of our “attachments.” Attachments are our inner attitudes or perspectives of how we see things – not the things themselves, but how we “see” them. And as we let go of our attachments and become willing to look at things differently, we will also begin to have a different experience.

You asked Jim and I if we could work harder for you, and to tell you what’s happening. First, I will say that I wish we could work harder, but none of us can control or make Spirit do anything. Spirit gives us what it gives us when it chooses. Wanting to know is an attachment looking from the human perspective. All we can do is surrender and open ourselves to God and nothing more. It’s called, “Lord, thy will be done.” And then let go … get out of the way and let God. Do what you can physically, and then allow it to unfold.

You are in the process of discovering how this works. In time, you’ll realize that you have to give up your control because, in truth, we have none. It is the illusion of the ego that thinks it does. Eventually we surrender, and see how things actually work. Surrender doesn’t mean we do anything outwardly; it is what we do inwardly. Again, it’s all about letting go of our attachments: control, expectations, fears, judgments, etc.

Believe it or not, Jim and I are working all the time for you. It may not always look like that from a human perspective; if you were able to see the truth of it in Spirit, you would see what this is really about – you being able to wake up spiritually, and see the truth.

It’s a journey. All we can do is keep moving along on the journey and, little by little, it will unfold until we wake up and see the truth. Most of us wish it would just

LA Letter To Initiates

I nner L ight M inistriesI L M

pResenTed by Jim goRdon and bRiAn yeAkey in Austin, Texas:For additional information, call 512-306-1056.

M

CalendarCLassEs & PRoGRaMs: suMMER – FaLL ‘11

Monthly classes include spiritual teachings, Q&A, and meditation. Jim and Brian assist participants to become

more deeply aware of the Spirit within. No charge.

onthly Classes:

(ILM Calendar continues on pages 4-10)

Jim and Brian’s class is held once a month on the following Sundays (see schedule below and please note time for each class),

at their home at 203 Buckeye Trail, Austin, TX.

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Sundays:

AUG 14

SEPT 18

OCT 16

NOV 13

DEC 11

JAN 15

FEB 12

MAR 11

APR 15

MAY 20

Class: 2-4 pm (Recorded meditation and talk.)

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Class: 2-4 pm (Recorded meditation and talk.)

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Class: 2-4 pm (Recorded meditation and talk.)

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Potluck: (Bring a dish to share.) 12-1:30 pm & Class with Q&A: 1:30-6 pm*

Class: 2-4 pm (Recorded meditation and talk.)

* Ending times are approximate.

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2012

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ILM presents: in England

Time of evenT: 2-6 pm*Where: Susanne Cook’s home, 41 Charlwood Rd, Burgess Hill, East Sussex RH15 ORJ

Please contact Susanne Cook at 4414-487-0838 for information and directions.

Time of evenT: 2-6 pm*Where: Susanne Cook’s home, 41 Charlwood Rd, Burgess Hill, East Sussex RH15 ORJ

Please contact Susanne Cook at 4414-487-0838 for information and directions.

Sunday, October 9Sunday, October 9

shARing And Q&A with Jim and bRiAnshARing And Q&A with Jim and bRiAn

* These ending times are approximate.

Saturday, October 22

Tuesday, October 11

poTLuck And shARing with Jim and bRiAnpoTLuck And shARing with Jim and bRiAn

Saturday, October 22

Tuesday, October 11

Time of evenT: poTluck 12 noon-1:30 pm

Sharing and Q&A 1:30-6 pm*Where: caroline roSe’S, flaT 9, WoolWich houSe,

183 laWrie park gardenS, Sydenham, london Se26 6XJ

Please contact Caroline at 0208-778-9430 for information and directions.

Time of evenT: poTluck 12 noon-1:30 pm

Sharing and Q&A 1:30-6 pm*Where: caroline roSe’S, flaT 9, WoolWich houSe,

183 laWrie park gardenS, Sydenham, london Se26 6XJ

Please contact Caroline at 0208-778-9430 for information and directions.

* These ending times are approximate.

poTLuck And shARingwith Jim goRdon and bRiAn yeAkey

poTLuck And shARingwith Jim goRdon and bRiAn yeAkey

Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreatwith Jim and bRiAn

Time of evenT: October 12 at 6 pm thru October 16 at 2 pm.*Where: earnley Concourse, earnley, Chichester West Sussex

Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreatwith Jim and bRiAn

Earnley Concourse’s Cost: Single Occupancy - £370, Double Occupancy (per person) - £335

Time of evenT: October 12 at 6 pm thru October 16 at 2 pm.*Where: earnley Concourse, earnley, Chichester West Sussex

Earnley Concourse’s Cost: Single Occupancy - £370, Double Occupancy (per person) - £335

Wednesday, October 12-16

Time of evenT: poTluck 12 noon-1:30 pm

Sharing and Q&A 1:30-6 pm*Where: caroline roSe’S (See addreSS above)

Please contact Caroline at 0208-778-9430 for information and directions.

For more information contact Susanne Cook at 01444 870838 or Lynn Johnson at 01903 765928.

To register contact Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or e-mail Laura at ilmadmin@ilm.org.

Time of evenT: poTluck 12 noon-1:30 pm

Sharing and Q&A 1:30-6 pm*Where: caroline roSe’S (See addreSS above)

Please contact Caroline at 0208-778-9430 for information and directions.

For more information contact Susanne Cook at 01444 870838 or Lynn Johnson at 01903 765928.

To register contact Laura Doggett at 512-306-1056 or e-mail Laura at ilmadmin@ilm.org.

Wednesday, October 12-16

ur Coins For Kids Christmas service project is coming up ... so if you’ve been saving your coins or wondering what you might like to do

as an expression of service this year, consider participating with us as we once againgo on a joyful gift shopping spree for children in need at Christmas time.

Drop off your coins/donation at one of Jim and Brian’s Sunday classes

by SUNDAY, NOV 13, or you can mail a check to:

ILM, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332.

(Donations to ILM’s Coins For Kids are tax deductible.)

(ILM Calendar continues on next page)

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MONDAY, OCT 31at 6 pm at Bill Stratton’s home

It’s a batty potluck! Fix your gholish delight and fly on over to Bill’s house of horrors, where we’ll dine Addam’s family style.

Costumes are a plus! (But optional.) All are welcome -

but beware!

Hallowe-ee-een Party

oins For KidsC

he celebration begins at 4 pm at 203 Buckeye Trail in Austin, Texas. Everyone is welcome!

It’s a potluck so bring a dish to share.

Shopping Day will be on SUNDAY, NOV 20Meet at 9:30 am at the Super Target

at I-35 and Parmer.

oin us for ILM’s Christmas celebration on SATURDAY, DEC 10

T

O

J

hristmAs Potluck PArty:C

Holiday Events in Austin:

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Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today!Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today!

nitiates, remember to check out the Initiate’s Handbook that has been added to the Initiates Only section of the website.

Whether you are newly initiated or a long-time initiate, this most current version of the Handbook contains information that will be of special

significance to you on your daily walk on the Path.

I

Initiate’s Handbook

ILM.org — the inneR LighT minisTRies WebsiteILM.org — the inneR LighT minisTRies Website • Jim and Brian’s Spiritual Sharings – listen on-line or download to your computer or MP3 • ILM Journals – the most recent issue as well as archives • Calendar of Events – find out what’s going on by geographic location or by minister • Order CDs – you can get any and all of ILM’s CDs online • Open-Ended Meditations – you can listen to or download edited meditations that allow you to continue meditating for as long as you desire • “Initiates Only” section – find out about Initiates events and listen to talks for Initiates

(ILM Calendar continues on next page)

I nner L ight M inistries Calendar

IlM CoMMunIty MovIe & PotluCk nIghts:

oin the ILM community at Laura Kesten’s home on the 1st Saturday of every month for fun, laughter, great food, and an uplifting movie. If you have a favorite movie that speaks to you, we’ll add it to our list. Come early (5-5:30 pm). Bring a dish if you want to add to the potluck. Movie starts between 7-7:30 pm. Everyone is welcome.

AUg 6, SEPT 3, OCT 1, NOV 5, DEC 3

For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-323-2058 or 512-658-4117, or e-mail: laurakesten@aol.com.

13210 Calf Roping Trail, AustinPark on the street or at the pool/park and walk a short block

J

I L Min Austin:

nitiation is about the sALvATion of your own soul. It’s about you finding that pathway by which you can walk daily, in Loving, in centeredness, in focus, to the Divine as you are, and living from there. – Jim Gordon

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(ILM Calendar continues on next page)

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Pumpkin TranScendenceThursday, OCT 27 at 5-6:30 pm

andhalloWeen muSic nighT Saturday, OCT 29 at 7-10 pm

ILM Center - Donation

t’s a Halloween party! Wear your favorite costume,

brush up on your favorite spook-tacular tunes.We’ll provide soft drinks and munchies -

Please RSVP the week before so we can plan appropriately.

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hristmAs PArty:C oin us for the fesTivAL of LighT celebration on

WEDNESDAY, DEC 13

Howl-oween

J

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oins For KidsCShopping Day will be on MONDAY, NOV 28.

Meet at 7 pm at Wal-Mart on Coldwater Rd.Please let us know by Nov. 23 if you can join the shopping elves!

Wrapping Party will be on TUESDAY, DEC 6.Meet at 6:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. (Note: pizzas and sodas will be provided.)

Extra bows, boxes, wrapping paper, and tape are always welcome!

ring your holiday spirit and come enjoy the food, the lights, the music and the fun; the gift of your presence is all that is needed to make the celebration complete!

he celebration begins at 7 pm

at Steven & Anita’s home in Fort Wayne.

Everyone is welcome!

B

T

Holiday Events in Ft. WAyne:

I nner L ight M inistries CalendarI L MpResenTed by sTeven mcAfee, midwesT cooRdinAToR:

For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167 or by e-mail at mcafeesa@aol.com.

uesday Class serIes: T

(ILM Worldwide Calendar begins on next page)

unday servICes:S Steven occasionally serves as a guest speaker for various churches and spiritual groups in the Midwest. The following is presently scheduled: AUg 21 11 am Brigade of Light Fort Wayne, Ind. DonationOCT 23 11 am Mother’s Trust Ganges, Mich. Donation

8

V

Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes in Fort Wayne on Tuesday nights from 7:00-8:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. Each class will begin with a meditation and then move into a period of spiritual sharing. The classes are open to anyone and are intended to awaken and inspire our loving devotion to God. There is no charge, but donations are welcome.

sPeCIal Ideo ConferenCes: Live from Austin! Special live video presentations with Jim and Brian via the magic of technology! AUg 23, NOV 15 7-9:30 pm ILM Midwest Center Donation

alaMazoo PrograMs:K

alkIng the Path:W

teven sharIng:S

PIrItual Path In anCIent texts:S Steven will be augmenting his presentation and dis-cussion with the Kalamazoo study group (see above) on the subject of Kabbalists and Gnostics.OCT 23 Service 11 am & Program 2-4 pm Mother’s Trust Ganges, Mich. Donation

Join Steven for an afternoon of informal spiritual sharing and fellowship. For more information, please call Judy Richards at (269) 349-3943 or e-mail her at: jg.richards@charter.net.OCT 22 Potluck 12:30 pm/Sharing 2-4:30 pm 4715 Thistle Mill Court Donation

PneW year-long rograM for 2012:

This is a committed, year-long program for 2011 with a focus on different aspects of the Path of Sound and Light and the practical application of meditation, loving, acceptance, and forgiveness in our daily lives. The WTP program is intended to support initiates on their spiritual journey, yet will also provide inspiration and information for anyone seeking to make a deeper spiritual commitment in their lives.AUg 7, SEP 4, OCT 2, NOV 6 2-4:30 pm ILM Midwest Center Donation

etreats: Prior registration is required.R

This retreat will create a sacred space for you to explore who you are as an expression of Divine Loving. What helps you awaken to that Loving? How does it express through you? OCT 13 - 16 GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $210sPIrItual Path In anCIent texts retreat:

This is a true retreat. It is designed in an open format to provide partici-pants with time for their own individual spiritual practices.SEP 16 - 18 GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $175

the retreat retreat:

the lovIng retreat:

This retreat will allow both personal in-teraction and small group discussion in addition to Steven’s presentations, and will provide opportunities to study the history of the Path of Sound & Light throughout various times and cultures.

NOV 11 - 13 GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $175

Potluck and sharing to introduce the brand-new monthly program taking place in the new year.DEC 3 12:30-3 pm ILM Midwest Center Donation

I nner L ight M inistries CalendarI L McommuniTy iLm meeTings And evenTs woRLdwide:

•

Each meeting will consist of a short meditation and the listening to a class CD by Jim and Brian. If interested please check with Jason for the most current date, time and location.

•

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•

kALAmAzoo:

eetIng:M

Call Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 or e-mail jg.richards@charter.net.

ednesday study grouP:W

chicAgo: Call Loretta Lassandro at 708-481-7751 or e-mail lassandro6@aol.com.

Join us for meditation. Call in advance so adequate space can be prepared for all participants.

AUg 21, SEP 18, OCT 16, NOV 20 3:30-4:30 pm 125 Warwick Street in Park Forest No charge

eetIng:M

Call Teri Sandler at 719-359-9951 (home) or 719-661-0817 (cell).

dALLAs: Call Jason Baker at 972-571-8511 for dates, times and directions.

Connect with community and listen to Jim and Brian’s weekly meditation and talks.

Alternate Sundays 2 pm (call for schedule and location) No charge

•

eetIng:M

The focus of each evening is on spiritual awakening and connecting to the Loving through listening to an ILM meditation and talk by Jim and Brian. Please call for dates.Alternate Wednesdays 6 pm Beverlywood, Los Angeles No charge

coLoRAdo spRings:

Call Victoria Eng at 310-980-2224 to RSVP and get directions.

Join us for a short meditation and talk by Jim and Brian and share your favorite spiritual poetry, music and readings. Our 4 pm ILM meetings are at 42A Montpelier Grove, London NW5.

Sundays AUg 21, SEPT 11, OCT 30, NOV 20, & DEC 11 (Christmas Potluck) No charge

eetIng:MLos AngeLes:

Call Nanna Brincker at 0207-485-0699 for directions.• eetIng:M

London, engLAnd:

(ILM Worldwide Calendar continues on next page)

•

For more information call Carolyn Dailey at 269-327-6851 (or e-mail: carolee12@chartermi.net).AUg 24, SEP 28, OCT 26, NOV 23 1-3 pm 2485 Brahms Ave, Portage, Mich. No charge

Call Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 (or e-mail: jg.richards@charter.net) for more information. AUg 24, SEP 28, OCT 26, NOV 23 5-7 pm 4715 Thistle Mill Court No charge

• AusTin:

Call Judy Richards at 269-349-3943 (or e-mail: jg.richards@charter.net) for more information. SEP 27, NOV 22 5:45-8 pm 4715 Thistle Mill Court No charge

Join us for a meditation and talk by Jim and Brian on the Sundays that the regular ILM classes are not being held.

Call for dates 2-4 pm Cedar Park, Tex. No charge

eetIng:MCall Kerri Dameron at 512-608-5430 to RSVP and get directions.

uesday study grouP:T

ovIe nIghts:M

ere in the physical, the meditation practice is the most direct action we can take to awaken to the knowing of the Divine. – Brian Yeakey

I nner L ight M inistries Calendar

n this packet you will find ILM’s book Love And Loving,the CD: An inTRoducTion To iLm,

the CD: undeRsTAnding The ‘inneR’ pAThwAy, the CD: LoTus mediTATion,ILM’s brochure: inneR LighT minisTRies guideLines foR

iniTiATion And iniTiATes, and a copy of our latest newsletter.

All of these materials have been selected to give a newcomera better understanding of who we are and what we’re about.

If you would like an Introductory Packet for yourself or someone else, just let us know.

Call us, email us, or write us! Feel free to take a look at our website too: www.ilm.org

(for more information see page 6). We are happy to do what we can to assist you

on your spiritual journey.

Blessings of Peace, Joy and Loving To You!

Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, and the ILM Staff

2. Call Mig gaspar at 808-638-8153 or Kelsie Muller at 808-638-0380 for directions. Listen to Jim and Brian’s weekly meditation and talks.

Tuesdays 7 pm North Shore of Oahu No charge

3. Call Brian Samo Ross at 808-247-3305 or 554-3305 (cell) for directions. Listen to Jim and Brian’s meditation and talks followed by a potluck.

2nd Sunday 10 am Kaneohe, Oahu No charge

eetIng:M

eetIng:M

eetIng:M

Share in a one-hour meditation and community gathering.

Mondays 6-7:30 pm Manoa Valley, Honolulu No charge

1. Call Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509, or 808-551-3123 (cell) for directions.

communiTy iLm meeTings And evenTs woRLdwide (conTinued):

hAwAii: Call the contact person for the following events.•

I L M

Welcome to Inner Light MinistriesIntroductory Packet

I

Welcome to Inner Light MinistriesIntroductory Packet

H

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Truly we are multidimensional. This multidimensional conscious-ness that we are is the divine, living Loving essence of God – we’re living in that river of Loving. It is flowing every day,

every moment, in every breath; and whether we are conscious of it or not, whether we are initiated or not, it is right here with us. The river of Loving, this source of life, keeps the body alive; it is the unspoken Name, the Sound and Light, the audible life stream. It is this audible life stream that gives life to everything in all creation. We are the divine essence of God that came out of the audible life stream as soul divine, and it is on this audible life stream that we can now return back Home to God. – Jim Gordon

Excerpt:

New CDs:

Living spiRiT in This physicAL cReATionLiving spiRiT in This physicAL cReATion

Recommended CD:

order InforMatIon & Postage PayMent

Since ILM is a spiritual pathway that is here to assist each person on their journey, our products are all available free of charge. You are welcome to order as many of the titles as you wish with the understanding that we will send you up to two of each item per order. There is a charge of $1.00 per item to cover shipping costs. In addition, donations towards replenishing the CDs and books are gratefully accepted. Checks may be made payable to Inner Light Ministries and sent to: Inner Light Ministries, PO Box 164332, Austin, Texas 78716.

The hearT of god mediTaTion/The SpiriTual paTh mediTaTion CD is one of my favorite CDs. It contains two guided meditations that assist us in focusing on the Loving and quieting the mind. Since I use

it every morning in my meditation, I highly recommend this CD.

Do listen to these meditations ... I think you will enjoy theresults. – Laura Doggett ILM Staff

mediTATions

The spiRiTuAL pATh mediTATion & The heART of god mediTATion

This CD is a re-masterering of the tape, Two Meditations, which includes “Sacred Journey Meditation” and “Forgiveness Meditation.” We have also added to this CD the “Golden Pool” meditation. We hope you enjoy these selections.

(Please see above, or go to our website, for ordering information)

12

I knew it was mine to do, was because it was in my face, just like you said, and it would never go away.

For years I fought with this, and that’s when I went through my depression, my chronic fatigue, my financial problems. It wasn’t until I finally stopped fighting, and started taking responsibility and taking action, that my life changed. Jim would always tell me the same thing over and over for years.

Jim: And what would I say?

Brian: You’d say, “Take action. Go get a job.”

Jim: That’s right!

Brian: I was doing workshops all the time and wasn’t really working – in other words, not being responsible for what I needed to do to take care of myself. I was being responsible spiritually because I always did my meditation first, always, always, from day one. And that has been the grace for me. That’s why when I finally did get a job, my life changed very fast because of all the years of doing meditation.

Jim: Brian did a lot of the preparation work on the inner first so when the grace came in, it lifted the karma very quickly. He just had to move into taking responsibility and action, and then allow the grace to come in and do what it could do in the process.

The game people often play is they go to God, they go to church, they go into meditation, because they want to get away from things, avoid their karmas. They want to give it to God – “God, please take this away from me,” and God says, “No, you created it. You’re responsible for that creation. Handle it.” So, if it’s in your face, yes, do your meditation, and take responsibility by taking action and handling what is yours to handle.

(from Experiencing the Divine Meditative Retreat, 3/17/05)

Please Send Us Your Email Address

Since we are doing our best to communicate with our ILM members through the internet, please send your email address and changes to Laura Doggett at ilmadmin@ilm.org. Thank you.

Q & awith JIM and BrIan

Q: How can I give things up to God, my karma, when it’s in my face so much? I say, “I’m giving this up to God – my pain, my hurt, my anger, my frustrations, my illusions, my delusions,” but that’s more the mind – how can I really give something up to God? Meanwhile, it’s in my face.

a: (Jim) If we give it up to God and it stays, then God is saying that it’s time for us to handle things for our own growth, for our own learning; that’s what we are here to do. We came here to become greater as soul, and that means we are here to learn about our own power of our creativity. Whatever is in our face, we created it. We, the creator, in this lifetime or another lifetime, created that energy, created that thought, created that situation, and now it’s coming back on us so that we can look at it and handle it, and maybe recreate it in a way that will serve the soul better than it did it before.

Q: Can it be handled during meditation?

a: Yes. By going inside and chanting the Name of God, we are asking and giving permission for the Holy Spirit to come present in our life, and for the grace to come forward and be active in our life, both inwardly in our meditation and outwardly in our daily life. So the grace is ever working with us for our liberation. It will do all it can to support us in resolving our karmas, and if possible, will even lift some of them while in our meditation, in our daily life as we walk through the day, or in the dream state at night.

Q: So it’s taking responsibility for my life as well as doing the meditation?

a: (Brian) That’s it. The way I’ve found it to work is that when we do the meditation first and place God first, we open the door for God’s grace to come in and work with us, and then we have to continue to do our part. When I changed my focus by putting God first, in came the awareness of what I really needed to do to take care of my life, and no matter how much I gave it up to God, no matter how much I prayed or cried – it wouldn’t go away; that’s when I finally knew it was mine to do. So I said, “Well, let me see, what can I start doing?” And I just started doing, and my life began to change because I took responsibility for what was mine to do. The way

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like a stepping-stone to get to the top of the mountain. And then when we get to the top of the mountain, we fly beyond the top of the mountain, but we’ve got to get to the top of the mountain before we can fly.

Q: I realize that there’s a judgment on what I experi-ence – “Oh, that’s not worth it,” or “That’s not it.”

a: (Jim) There’s a lot of “its” on the way Home to God, and we’re waking up to each level; we are having experience at each level as we journey Home and if we miss the rung on the ladder we may find that we really can’t get to the next rung. Or, we may find that we fall back down easily because we haven’t anchored ourselves and we don’t realize that there’s a step right there that we can also use to get up. So everything is leading us Home; even the most negative experience is a part of that journey Home to God. It may seem like we have really fallen and we’re going down, but we’re just on this journey and we are ever upward and downward – two steps forward, one step back so to speak. But ultimately, we do get Home; we do get to see the face of God.

Brian: We talk about spiritual experience, inner experience, out-of-body experience. These are all types of different experience. The word “experience” is the key. We can have an inner experience while we sit here with our eyes open experiencing something inwardly which is still “in Spirit,” and “inside.” We can have an out-of-body experience, or we could have our eyes closed in meditation where the body goes asleep and we’re consciously traveling out-of-body on another realm. These are all experiences. Just let it all be okay, whether it’s inner experience, outer experience, out-of-body experience, the inner kingdom, the outer kingdom, or whatever it is. We just use these terms to help people come into a greater understanding and get the clarity within so everyone knows what’s going on and can begin to see their experiences as “normal.” When we can move into acceptance, we move into neutrality and that’s how we step free. So part of the work of loving, acceptance, and forgiveness is truly coming into that neutral place of acceptance where it really is all okay no matter what the experience is – in-body, out-of-body, inner experience, outer experience – the key is always experience.

(from Initiates Meeting - Austin, 2/26/06)

Q & awith JIM and BrIan

Q: I just realized recently that I have expectations of what an inner experience really is. I mean, I guess the ultimate inner experience is to see the face of God so anything else I experience I say, “What is that?”

a: (Jim) Everything – the disturbance, the anger, the frustration, the pain, whatever it is, it’s all inner experience. It’s all part of our inner creation. Our frustration, our anger, our desire, our need, our want, our longing, these are all things that we, the divine in us, has created through the power of the mind, the emotions and the body, and that’s all part of our inner experience. What we want to do is go in and clear these kind of inner experiences through loving, acceptance and forgiveness so that all of it comes into alignment with the divine flow of loving that we are, and then our inner experience is no longer focused down into the frustrations and anger but rather inward and upward toward that divine flow.

Q: I understand that part but what I’m saying is like I shared with you that funny, strange inner experience …

a: (Brian) That was normal.

Q: But I wouldn’t have categorized that as an inner experience because it certainly wasn’t the face of God and yet it was wonderful. So that raises a question – will there be all kinds of inner experiences?

a: (Jim) Yes. It’s like a diamond. There are many facets to the diamond and each one adds to the beauty of the whole, so our inner experience will have many parts to it – there’s not one part only but its many facets to the one part which ultimately brings us to the fullness of the knowing of the experience of the Light and the Sound. So we’re going to have many different expressions and experiences of that inner process.

Q: So we just accept all of those, no matter how normal or abnormal? I mean it’s not any lesser because it’s not the face of God?

a: (Brian) These are the things we need to walk through to get to the face of God. That’s why we don’t want to make them wrong. Each experience we have is

by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister

attachment to the story. It is in the very moment of our taking responsibility that we actually begin to let go of our attachment.

Several weeks ago, I chose blue from a box of colored pastel chalk and, on my hallway wall, wrote in big letters: The Writing’s on the WALL… It came from believing that a certain turn of events meant what I thought it must surely mean and so I had said matter-of-factly and with great emotional attachment, “The writing’s on the wall.” Except, I got it wrong. What I thought was true was, in fact, not. And so I began thinking about truth, truth as I know it or other people know it, and the truth of Spirit. Truth, as we know it, about our selves and others, changes as we gather more information. But the truth of Spirit is the one and only truth; Spirit’s truth doesn’t ever change. How each of us perceive Spirit’s truth may be different from the perception of others because we are all in different stages of learning and experiencing what the truth is. Eventually, we will all come to understand and know the One Truth.

On my wall I’ve begun to write truths, truths that come from Spirit through Jim and Brian, the Bible, other sources, truths that help me stay focused on God. At first, some people thought I was crazy to write on a wall. Who does that? Weren’t we all taught not to write on walls? But that’s it really, isn’t it? The truth is someone didn’t want me to write on their wall, but now, this is my wall. It’s actually quite liberating. Now, a few of my friends are asking if they can also write on my wall. “Yes! Write on!”

We know that God doesn’t judge us, that he loves us no matter what. We can strive to do the same – to love our selves and others without judgment, without attachment. So, be responsible for your thoughts and feelings, your actions and reactions, allow the truth to unfold, be open to the truth as it is revealed, and let go of the attachment to the story. Truly, the only way to keep our balloon from popping is to seek exclusively the truth of Spirit; this will, ultimately, move us toward our greater freedom.

hAT’s The TRuTh?

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w

In the movie Get Low, Felix Bush hides himself away for forty years because he feels deeply responsible for an event that occurred when he was a younger

man in which he cannot forgive himself. For forty years, the townspeople make up stories about Felix, and matter-of-factly, tell these stories or repeat ones they’ve heard as if they know the truth. When the townspeople finally hear the truth from the old man himself, they turn and walk away as if a balloon has popped and the excitement of having the balloon is over.

I’ve done this numerous times in my life. Maybe we all do this. Maybe we all make up stories about others and about ourselves; we believe that what we are hearing, what we are speaking, is the truth, and when we find out that it’s indeed not the truth, when the balloon has popped, we just walk away from our thoughts, our words, our actions, without ever really taking responsibility. Hence, we repeat the pattern again and again.

I had a college professor who wrote a book that his students had to buy for his class. He told us to buy a used copy if we could, don’t spend the money on a new one. “Why?” we asked. “Because everything in this book is a lie,” he said. He went on to say that words tell a story that may be true in the moment but next week, a year from now, five, ten years from now, I’m going to learn something new about this subject and it’s going to contradict what I’ve said, what I’ve written; it’s going to make me a liar.” He understood that the truth of what he knows is going to change as he receives new information. He enjoys the balloon but knows it will pop. He demonstrated how to take responsibility by letting go of his attachment to what he knows will change.

Jim and Brian say: Be responsible for your thoughts and feelings, your actions and reactions. Yes, we have to practice (LAF) loving, accepting, forgiving ourselves, and we have to do the inner work of letting go of our

the essence of Spirit pours into us, comes alive in us, and stirs us awake to who we truly are. That is where vulnerability comes into the picture.

Being vulnerable is not about appearing humble in the world or about wearing our hearts on our sleeves wherever we go. It’s about surrendering who we thought we were to the truth of who we are, and then living that every day as fully as we can. We become open to the truth, not closed within the illusion. We become vulnerable to the joy of Loving, not intimidated by the specter of fear. When we yield to the essence of Loving as our very own essence – that is true vulnerability.

Once we awaken enough to perceive the movement of this Loving within us, will we choose to yield to it? Will we follow the Loving into our fear and get free of it, or will we close down and pull back again? When Loving moves us to forgive and let go of what we have carried for so long, will we? Or will we let our minds convince us there are more pressing things in the world to attend to right now? When the Loving unexpectedly melts age-old walls of hurt and shame, will we let them go, or will we hurriedly try to rebuild them?

When we follow the movement of the inner Loving, it may lead us either into the ecstasy of divine bliss or into direct confrontation with our fears and illusions. It is through the Loving that we become open and vulnerable to Spirit, thus inspired to make meditation a priority in our life every day. And it is the Loving that will tell us just how precious and beloved we really are. Are we paying attention?

I am learning that to be truly open to God, I must accept and become vulnerable to the Loving that I am. And the more open and vulnerable I become to the Loving within me, the more open I can be to the Loving within you.

by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister

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How often have we heard Jim and Brian talk about being “open and vulnerable?” It is a key to our spiritual awakening. But what does it really mean?

Just the other day, someone was telling me how everyone at ILM seemed so comfortable sharing things about their personal life with one another, but that he himself did not feel at ease doing so. While he had close friends with whom he shared the intimate aspects of his life, he felt no need to do so in a public setting; and he wondered whether that meant that he was not following what Jim and Brian teach.

I realized that sometimes I take too much of what is taught in ILM as outer instruction, when, in truth, most of it is actually inner instruction. What I mean by that is this: while there are certainly benefits to feeling free enough to share about one’s life with others in a supportive setting, such as an ILM event, that is not the focus of ILM. This is an inner pathway, and the teachings of ILM are primarily there to help us awaken to and walk that inner path with awareness. When I hear Brian and Jim encourage us to be “open and vulnerable,” what I understand is that we are to focus on being open and vulnerable inwardly to Spirit, not outwardly to one another.

True openness is not a behavior in which we feel compelled to bare our soul to every person we meet, but rather to bare our soul to God. This means taking down all those inner walls of fear, illusion, and attachment that keep us living in a consciousness of separation from the Divine. To be vulnerable to God means letting go of all those inner defenses that hold us back from participating fully in the Loving. Every time we let go of one of our attachments, every time we are willing to step forward through one more fear, every time we choose God over the world, we create an inner opening for Spirit to come in and work with us more fully. As we open, the Loving that is

pening To godO

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INNER LIGHT MINIsTRIEs ®

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is a non-profit organization dedicated to teaching spiritual awakening through an inner practice of meditation. This meditation practice is an inner path through which the soul transcends the physical realms of creation to its true home in the spiritual realms within the heart of God. In spiritual teachings and literature this inner path is often referred to as “The Path of Sound and Light,” “The Path of The Holy Spirit,” “The Path of Love,” or simply as “The Path,” or “The Way.” ILM offers initiation into this meditation practice enabling one to fully experience this inner journey of awakening.

To provide support for those individuals interested in this path, Inner Light Ministries offers numerous publications, materials, programs, and services, which encourage devotion to God and support a life-long practice of meditation, spiritual study, and service.

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inneR LighT minisTRies: Main Office: Jim Gordon, Brian Yeakey, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, P.O. Box 5139, Fort Wayne, IN 46895