20 August 2020

The Drive and Draw no.58

The views expressed in this document do not necessarily reflect the official views of the

Exco of the Jeffreys Bay Bowling Club, and is totally independent thereof. It is however

approved before circulation.

All contributions from members will be appreciated. All contributions and suggestions can be

sent to me (Keith Wakelin) at hayland@vodamail.co.za or phoned to me at 082 4605425. You

may also chat to me or give me a written contribution.

This newsletter is prepared in MSWord, but published in PDF, as not all members have MSWord.

News from our President:

Well, we have finally been allowed back onto the greens, after a long wait. I think a lot of

members who had not been to the club for about four months got a very pleasant surprize

regarding our surroundings and the greens. In the first week we had 97 different members

playing at least one game of bowls. That means that 50% of our members were back in the first

week. Everybody seems to be enjoying the greens and many members have played many games

already.

Unfortunately we have still not been able to receive any income since March. Fortunately subs

have become due and money has been received in our bank account. This inflow helps the club

from a cash flow point of view, but does not improve our profitability as we have monthly

overheads to pay out. Let’s hope we will soon be able to open the bar which will at least bring a

bit of much needed profit to the club.

Meet Your Club Members; (Submitted by Johann Neethling)

Since taking over this section, Johann Neethling has done a fine job and is producing interesting

articles. Well done Johann. Here is his latest article.

Meet our Club Members – Charlie Bakker As Johann has been pestering me for the last 3 months to write something about myself, I decided to comply. As when the lockdown is one day behind us, I do not want to be in his dog box. I have tried to put a bit of humour in my presentation, as the lockdown must be driving everybody up the wall by now. I was born in Holland in a Dutch village called Veenendaal. This was where my father worked for SKF (Ball Bearing Company). In this village the famous Ritmeester Cigar Factory is also situated. Our family consisted of 7 children of which the youngest and eldest were girls, definitely the baby boomer era. I was the third youngest. To put this into perspective, my father studied to become a priest and whilst he was doing his rounds in a hospital during the war, he met this lady who later became my mom. Life had more to offer than priesthood it seemed (no TV and no contraceptives those days - ha ha ha).

Family photo - I am on the right in front. I was blessed with loving parents and enjoyed family life and later when my older brothers brought their girlfriends home it was a bonus. At 12, I took my chances when I pinched my brother’s girlfriend scooter on a number of occasions and rode all along the farm roads.

We all enjoyed our sports, 3 of us played soccer and I was nicknamed the Flying Dutchman for my speed on the left wing. My second eldest brother was a swimmer who competed provincially and we spent many weekends in parts of Holland and Germany to support him. At 12, I also started my first band with 2 other boys - one played an acoustic rhythm guitar, the other drums and I with a tambourine and tried to sing Rolling Stones and Beatle tunes. We immigrated to South Africa on the 26th September 1967. We stayed in the Royal Hotel in Main Street of Uitenhage and on the first day I was looking for coconuts on the Palm trees. Crazy the perceptions I had of South Africa. Here came the challenge though, my father made me attend Muir College, an English medium school. My English was basically non-existant except for my Rolling Stones and Beatle tunes. I spent my first year sitting next to a Belgium who taught me the ropes (good and more bad) and I later joined the Cadet Band and played hockey. During my school days I played at school hostels and joint a band called Catastrophy, what a name I thought at the time, are they chaps really so bad. However the rock band won the ON THE GO novice section in 1972. I left Muir College without my parent’s knowledge, as I detested history as well as woodwork as everything came out skew. I joined the Commercial High School where I also became a prefect and here it comes - prefect over 8 boys and 280 girls. A very good ratio, I thought. After High school, I had to study at my own expense and therefore had to start working. I joined Volkswagen of SA on 17th January 1973 in the logistics admin office. I was later called the Umbuntu Man by management and the operators during the Apartheid days. Management placed me in areas of conflict as I was regarded as a peace maker and also for my humaneness, trust and respect. I will not elaborate but can tell you that some experiences were very emotional and daring to say the least. In the meantime I got married and had a son and daughter and who have now children of their own. I built my own 276 m2 house at Colchester on the Sundays River where I spent many hours on the river with my family and my lovely dog. Unfortunately the marriage only lasted 14 years and I had to sell my house which took me 4 years to build. I remarried 3 years later and am now 2 daughters and also 3 grandchildren richer. During my 46 years at VW, I worked in different departments and positions. From Admin to Buyer to Snr Buyer in Purchasing to Supervisor - Local and CKD warehousing to Manager Projects to Manager Engine Plant Maintenance to Engine Plant Assembly Manager of Citi Golf Engines and Polo Engines and lastly to Final Assembly Manager of Polo vehicles. I received many accolades during my career: amongst others a Leadership award; an MD award for Innovation; and 2 awards for Cost Reduction Processes. Innovation of projects stood out and which saved VW millions of Rands. One was the introduction of fully collapsible steel pallets (first of its type) which were traceable by the minute anywhere in South Africa due to a sophisticated barcode system. I

also optimised lot sizes of the various size pallets which resulted in cargo vehicles utilization being increase from 67% to 95%. Once it was approved by the Board of Directors, all other motor assembly plants started using the system until today. I did a lot of voluntary community work with VW, with an organization called “The Show of Hands” and we did a lot of work at disadvantaged schools, nature conservation and old age homes.

Another highlight was when I had the honour of meeting Mr Neil Armstrong on the 2nd February 2010.

During my working career I was privileged to visit many German factories. I then took the opportunity to visit my parents and 2 brothers and sister who had in the meantime returned to Holland.

Once a year 7 bands which played during the 60’s and 70`s from Uitenhage and PE come together to have a jam and to network with friends. Many of them we had no contact with for many years and this re-union was always very special. Some band members like my younger brother came from overseas to play. We all play for free and all the funds are donated to support the SPCA in Uitenhage

I am second from left with the blue jeans and guitar. Late last year, I joined the Village of Dreams/Dorp van Drome and am now chairing this voluntary civic organization in Jeffreys Bay. Our aim is to beautify our village so that we can all be proud civilians and that tourists will one day come and live here. We rely on donations from the public, businesses as well as Kouga Municipality, so help us please. Since I joined the Jeffreys Bay Bowling Club last year, I am humbled by the camaraderie and the friends I have made to date. Thanks to those who make it a pleasure to network, have fun and to play bowls with. To my friends and colleagues: LET THE GAME BEGIN (GREAT BOWLS OF FIRE). Best wishes from the Flying Dutchman or Mad Max or whatever you want to call me. STAY SAFE AND AT HOME, DRINK SOME WINE AND LISTEN TO MUSIC!!!

Exco:

The minutes of the last Exco meeting and financials are on the notice board and the website.

As you have seen from various emails, all positions for voting at the AGM were unopposed

except for Men’s Selection. Voting for men’s selectors will happen when we are able to have our

AGM. The other positions for the 2020/2021 season are as follows;

President – Keith Wakelin

Vice President – Petro Toerien

Secretary – Hannie Ridder

Assistant Secretary – Hilary Bannister

Treasurer – Luther Barlow

Assistant Treasurer – Wynand van Heerden

Club Captain – Elles Staas

Vice Club Captain – Alet Reeder

Bar Manager – Piet van den Berg

Chairperson Umpires & Coaches – Winnie Staas

Chairperson Ladies Selection – Jackie van Heerden

Chairperson Men’s Selection – To be voted on after AGM

Lady Selectors – Retha du Plessis

Anne Jarmain

Sylvie Mauer

Petro Toerien

Jackie van Heerden

Men’s Selectors – To be voted on at AGM to get 5 from the following 6

Morné Bekker

Christo Coetzer

Elles Staas

Daan Siebert

Barry van Wyk

Wynand van Heerden

Bar Committee – Rob van Hemert

Barry Fourie

Coenie Venter

Events Convenor – Val Jackson

Clubhouse Admin – Winnie Staas

Kitchen Committee – Tess Bruyns

Tabs office Members – Tess Bruyns

Lettie Deysel

Anchen Loots

Julz McDonald

Winnie Staas

Jackie van Heerden

Marieta Viljoen

Norman Blackwell

Athol Bruyns

Tos Deysel

Abrie Nel

Ron McDonald

Club Competitions:

Bowls SA has now given us permission to use scoreboards again as the sun’s ultra violet rays will

kill the virus. Because of all the sanitising that has to take place, don’t use a scoreboard unless

you really have to, and rather use a card. They are also allowing competitions to be played as

long as it is singles or pairs. Your Exco is of the opinion that it is too early to hold club

competitions as some members are still very hesitant to return to the club at this stage.

Have You Heard?

Very good news from Elles Staas, he says he has a new easy Covid 19 test.

A new and easy test for Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or

negative if you see what I mean).Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favorite Scotch

(gin or rum) into it; then see if you can smell it, if you can then you are halfway there; then

drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the

virus.

I tested myself 12 times last night and was virus free every time thank goodness. I will have to

test myself again today though, as I have developed a headache which can also be one of the

symptoms.

Lake Superior contains so much water, over 3 quadrillion gallons, that it could flood the entire

landmass of North and South America to a depth of 30 centimetres.

Joker Jackpot;

Joker jackpot will return once we are allowed back in th clubhouse. The lockdown period with no

income has shown us how necessary these forms of fundraing are.

EP Bowls:

EP Bowls have had to push out the date of their AGM because of the lockdown but now want to

get it done before the end of August. If lockdown is not lifted by then they will have an online

AGM using a digital platform like Zoom.

Selectors:

No news at this stage because of lockdown.

Umpires & Coaches;

No news at this stage because of lockdown.

Major Sponsors & Donors:

And members please remember that our sponsors and donors can only support us if we

support them.

Letters to the editor:

Good day Fellow Bowlers

I trust you are doing well in these unusual times. We are all facing a new digital means of

communicating and reaching out to potential clients. I’m sure you already know that we rely on

our participation at bowling clubs to generate business and build relationships which we were

unable to do. That being said I would like to take this opportunity to engage with you regarding

Personal Trust Port Elizabeth and what we offer clients regarding investments. At Personal

Trust we have a unique way of doing business which enables me to structure a financial plan to

suit your specific needs and risk profile. Currently I am making use of 4 different funds, and it

is working very well for my clients. Below is a summary of the funds we use which can give you an

indication of returns from these specific funds: Income/parking space, i.e. alternative to money

market

Personal Trust Income Fund

1 Year 3 years 5 years 6.23% 7.36% 7.49%

Low equity Ninety One Cautious Managed Fund 1 Year 3 years 5 years 9.57% 7.97% 7.5%

Balanced/medium Equity Ninety One Opportunity Fund 1 year 3 years 5 years 10.79% 7.84%

7.89%

Asset swop/ offshore exposure Ninety One Global Franchise Feeder Fund 1 year 3 years 5 years

33.5% 19.27% 17.05% Asset allocations are made up to your risk profile.

As a side note there are many ways to support me through allowing me the opportunity to have a

look at your current portfolio. Or even appoint me as your new advisor, not just by means of

investing “new” funds. I would appreciate an opportunity to assist you in your financial affairs

and furthermore build a long lasting relationship with you and your family. Hope to see you soon

on the bowling green, as we just got the green light from Bowls SA.

Thank you

Carl Vermeulen

Kouga Nomads;

Geen nuus ontvang nie.

Tournaments;

Public Relations/Development:

Nothing happening due to lockdown.

Bowls Tips:

General:

Club Competitions:

Did You Know?

Wasson Bluff, located in Nova Scotia, Canada, is home to the smallest dinosaur tracks ever

discovered. The tiny prints, scarcely larger than a coin, belonged to a dinosaur species no larger

than a robin.

The Irish Potato Famine of the mid 19th century had such a profound impact on the population

of Ireland (through both deaths and emigration) that even after more than 150 years, the

population has still not recovered its pre-famine level.

Classifieds (Sell/Swop/Giveaway)

Nothing this issue.

Humour:

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.

Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's

nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet

and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely

demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink

this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank

half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.

The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Some years ago Adam ate the first apple. Men never learn!

A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put

up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up!'

Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number

from 1 to 10.

If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this

time."

A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for

his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this

time."

As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really

give away free sex at all."

Paddy replied, "No, no, it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week."

An advertisement read Mercedes for sale for R100

No one believed it, but one old man responded and went to see the car.

The lady actually sold him a virtually brand new Mercedes, which had done just 12000 kms, for

R100. She handed him the papers and the car keys.

As he was leaving he said “I would die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car is sold so

cheap?”

The lady replied.

“I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where all money received from sale of his

Mercedes would go to his secretary”.

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the

walls of Jericho?" Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school

principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as

his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it,

then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole

story... After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this;

just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!"

A blind man enters a bar and finds his way to a barstool.

After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey,

you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep

voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The

bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in

karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to

your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler.

Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah,

not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”