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VWake Up and Get Down As a boring a$$hole, I don’t get out much. Add to that, two kids and an unhappy wife, and you can guess that most of my time is split up between apologies and spankings; you can determine who gets which. There are certain things, however, that will get me out of the house, no ques-tion. A favorite comedian coming to any town within a 200-mile radius of Corpus, or one of the 260 annual Wind-sor Park Elementary events pertaining to my son, and great bands, grac-ing fans with a free in-store performance. Tomorrow is my son’s award assembly, but since you can’t attend that, let me direct you to the ad on page 9. No, the other one... I said 9! This month, Girl in a Coma, and The Supervillains, will be putting on free acoustic shows at Disc-Go-Round, right before heading to House of Rock for their plugged-in sets, so stop by and get your Vent cover auto-graphed, then if your not to much of a cheap skate, shell out a few bucks for the amplified version. If I’m gonna miss my son’s 5th grade gradua-tion/Ice-Cream social, and my 11th anniversary to be there, then you’ve got no excuse. P.S. If this article isn’t commercial enough for you, let me mention another notable event, Revolution celebrates is 2 year anniversary on June 6th so get the #*@% over there.

If you would like to be a part of The Vent movement, contact The Vent at 361-549-6213 or ventnation@yahoo.com or myspace.com/theventnation.

Dear Vent, I must say that I am terribly distressed by my old band mates trying to replace me with American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert. This whole thing is obvi-

ously some kind off prank. Sure he has the voice, but that’s not all it takes. First off, he wears entirely too much clothing. A wife-beater (husband-beater in my case) and some cut-offs al-ways did right by me, and if the weather is nice, you can lose the top altogether. It allows you to move and flail about with less resistance. Which is another thing, he is not nearly flamboyant enough, for goodness sakes, get yourself a pair of rainbows suspenders already. Also, and I mean no disrespect, but I’ve got a kick ass stache. Maybe nowadays, you all like that shaved look,

but if you ask me a real man should be just a little less hairy than Chewbacca. I bet that Simon character has a nice patch of Velcro. I’d like to get my hook in his loop as they say. Lambert, if you’re gonna take my place, then you better start growing some whiskers now and stop shaving your pits, and I mean all of your pits. I suppose it could be worse, at least you’re not the vocalist from Bad Company, yeah I said it.

Pushing up gay daffodils,Freddie Mercury

Dear Ed you stupid #%*@, I can’t believe you guys did a music issue and didn’t once mention the new Rancid album that drops on June 2nd, that was the last mistake you will ever make. I mean it’s been six years since their last one, if you don’t count Tim’s solo release, and you can’t even do a simple write up, now you have to die. I am already obsessed with the single, ‘Last One To Die’, you are gonna be the first one to die, if you don’t do something in your next issue to make up for this gross display of musical incompetence. Anyway, we should go to see Rancid together when they come to Aus-tin, either that or I can scoop your stink-ing eyes out with a spoon.

It’s over before it starts, Crazy Rancid Fan

Dear Ed you stupid #%*@,I can’t believe you guys did a music is-sue and didn’t once mention the new Vanessa Williams album that drops on June 2nd, that was the last mistake you will ever make. I mean it’s been four years since her last one, and you can’t even do a simple write up, now you have to die. I am already obsessed with the single, ‘Breathless’, you are gonna be breathless if you don’t do something in your next issue to make up for this gross display of musical incompetence. Anyway, we should go to see Vanessa Williams together when she comes to Austin, either that or I can scoop your stinking eyes out with a spoon.

Saving the best for last, Crazy Vanessa Williams Fan

Letters to the Editor: send letters to ventnation@yahoo.com

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Corpus Christi- At a concert over the weekend, local rap star, Emcee Munchhausen, A.K.A. Topher Garza, told fans it was “time to get ill”. This

comes as no sur-prise to doctors of the H y p o -chondri-ac MC. H o w -ever, the c r o w d a t t e n d -ing the

performance was comprised mostly of healthy young gangstas and b*tches who were displeased with the news. One concertgoer, Miles O’Leary said, “That show was wack, that nigga was all up in the crowd like, ‘can you feel me, no seriously can you feel my forehead’, that fool be trip-pin.” As usual, the show ended early due to Garza’s supposed health issues, and he was immediately taken to the

emergency room, where he was given an M to the R to the I. Amnesia Johnson, a long time fan, remarked, “Yeah MC Munch was sick tonight, no, I mean, he was real-ly sick, like he looked like he had full blown AIDS or something.”While waiting for the results Garza, graciously gave us a sample of his next hit. “Yo, let break you off a little something from my next single. It goes like this:

‘It’s time to get Ill b*tches…I’m cruzin down the barriowith my favorite mexicana, I think I’m catching a cold baby roll up the ventana.

I don’t f*** with that coka like my boy Tony Montana

Ain’t got no little friend, just an inhaler for my asthma.’”

Several hours later, Garza’s General physician Dr. Andre Romelle Young A.K.A. Dr. Dre, cleared the em-cee with a perfect bill of health, and prescribed that he should stop acting like such a little b*tch.

Hypochondriac Rapper Claims ‘It’s Time To Get Ill’By William Henneberger

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Local Band Takes It to the Next LevelBy William Henneberger

After years of playing the same old sh*t, area metal band, Chastity Cock, says they are ready to take it to the next level. The group has been on the same level for over six years now and their fan is anxious to see what these artist have in store. “We’re gonna be incorporating some brass,” says lead vocalist Jeremy, “and possibly some natural sounds, it’s gonna be some f***ing experimental sh*t. Seriously, prepare to have your whole world turned upside-down. It’s gonna be like Cannibal Corpse meets John Tesh meets Bela Lugosi meets Al from Home Improvement meets a bowl of nachos. You don’t even know. You think you know, but you don’t, you don’t even know.” The realization to take things to this ‘next level’ came when Steve, the bands manager, who just separated

from his wife of 23 years e x -pressed the need for the band to get serious about practices, and maybe incorporate a few more bad-ass guitar pedals along with a second drummer. “It’s my job to keep these guys motivated,” said Steve, “If that means staying up all night and making match-ing capes for everyone, so be it. That b*tch isn’t gonna tell me what I can and can’t do.” With this current surge of mo-mentum, several of the band’s members are seriously considering quitting their jobs and just doing Chastity Cock for a living.

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Thur. 5/28 DJ Dus -RevolutionStand Up Comedy: Broadie, Jeff Gayden, Roy Trejo, Dalton, Shane Fling, The Cajun Crippler, Hobo Fred -House Of RockKyle Park -Executive Surf ClubRich O’Toole w/ Luke Olson -Brewster StreetStarlite & The Moon Beams -Dr. Rockit’s

Fri. 5/29DJ King G -RevolutionDarkside Presents: May Metal Mayhem W/ Killamora, Chamber Of Pain, Fatal Mind, Angerfist -House Of RockToga Party -Jack Ash’sSalero -The Havana ClubJerico Project -Clicks BilliardsBack in the Day -Executive Surf ClubScarecrow People -Brewster StreetEric Tessmer -Dr. Rockit’sCruise Control -Cassidy’s Irish PubSeussical -Harbor Playhouse

Sat. 5/30 Shazz! & Rival City -RevolutionHor Show Vol.6 Mark Linskey & The Street Corner Matadors, Drastic Actions,Dead Passenger -House Of RockSalero -The Havana ClubEmber -Clicks BilliardsLive Oak Decline with Reely Rotnz -Executive Surf ClubWhich Ways Ocean -TexanGary P. Nunn w/ Bo Cox -Brewster StreetRob Roy Parnell -Dr. Rockit’sSharks vs. Arkansas Twisters -American Bank Center

Wine & Alchemy: Celtic & Gypsy Music & Dance -Yin Yang Fandango And Tango Tea RoomHilda Lamas -Cassidy’s Irish PubSeussical -Harbor PlayhouseMusic & Sports Fest. Skateboarding Demo by Kareem Campbell plus Jason Southern Band, Tumble Dry Low, Johnny Love & The Dunkadelics, Hilda Lamas – Cole Park

Sun. 5/31Open Mic Hosted By Bar Nutz -RevolutionMongo Stereo -Dr. Rockit’sSeussical -Harbor Playhouse

Mon. 6/1 Service Industry Night, The Beards Comedy Show -Revolution

Tues. 6/2 DJ Dus, A-Rod B-Day Party -RevolutionReno & The Groove Getters -Dr. Rockit’s

Wed. 6/3 DJ King G -Revolution

Thur. 6/4DJ Dus -RevolutionGirl In A Coma, The Golden Meanies, The Vibrant Ones, Dine In & Dance At The Venue -House Of RockFlashback -Executive Surf ClubHoneybrowne w/ Highspeed Hayride -Brewster StreetStarlite & The Moon Beams -Dr. Rockit’s

Fri. 6/5 DJ King G -RevolutionDaltons Eyes, Microphonic -House Of RockScarecrow People -The Havana ClubStoney LaRue with Bo Cox opening -Executive Surf ClubHard Luck Heroes/ Capital Crimes/One Last Shot -TexanThe Spazmatics -Brewster StreetThe Taming of the Shrew -Harbor Playhouse

Sat. 6/6 2 Year Anniversary DJ Curtis Rock & The Electric Mangroves -RevolutionTwo Tons Of Steel At The Venue -House Of RockPaul Sutherland -House Of RockJayar N True Funk Souljahs -The Havana ClubThe Golden Age -CompoundWater Street Music Art and Surf Fest, Ted Roddy -Executive Surf ClubKillamora -TexanCory Morrow w/ Bill Rice Band -Brewster StreetThe Taming of the Shrew -Harbor Playhouse

Sun. 6/7 Open Mic Hosted By Bar Nutz -RevolutionWithin White Shadows, Sandycraven, And Falster Spirit -House Of RockWater Street Music Art and Surf Fest, Broken Teeth -Executive Surf Club

Mon. 6/8 Service Industry Night -RevolutionLegeia, Deez Nuts , Perrry Winkle Massacre -Compound

Tues. 6/9Reno & The Groove Getters -Dr. Rockit’s

Wed. 6/10 DJ King G -RevolutionAntarctica W/ Ghosts Of Rome -Compound

Thur. 6/11 DJ Dus –RevolutionGrand Opening & Ribbon Cutting Of The Venue W/ Scarecrow People -House Of RockJohn Cortez -Executive Surf ClubStarlite & The Moon Beams -Dr. Rockit’s

Send Concert Listings to:ventnation@yahoo.com

Corpus Christi Entertainament Calendar

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STEREO TYPE- Girl In A Coma – Trio B.C. (Release date – June 2nd) By Michael Henneberger mikehenneberger@yahoo.com

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It’s 12:50 pm on Friday, May 22nd, and I am listening to Girl in a Coma for the first time…ever. Yes, I’m from Texas, familiar with San Anto-nio’s scene, and I lived in Corpus. So, yeah, I had several op-portunities to see them, but I could never get past the fact that they weren’t a Smiths tribute band. For some reason, that really bothered me…like when you’re dating a girl and she says she would totally be up for a threesome with another chick, then you start to get serious with that girl because you think she’s perfect, and you bring it up later and she says “I don’t remember saying that,” or “no, I can’t do it.” You

expect one thing and get another…and everything’s ruined. But see if that girl’s ex-boyfriend would come up and say,

“Dude , don’t waste your time, s h e ’ s bullshit-t i n g you,” I

w o u l d n ’ t have wasted my time. Girl

in a Coma, wow…a Smiths tribute band fronted by a girl…just like the Smiths? But someone set me straight and I didn’t waste my time. Or so I thought. Turns out, I’ve wasted all this time not listen-ing to them.

I guess it’s no surprise, b e i n g signed to Joan Jett’s B l a c k -heart Re-c o r d s , that these girls are the far-thest thing from a waste of time. If a n y o n e k n o w s w h a t w o r k s w i t h women in rock and roll, it’s the queen h e r s e l f . Like in stand up comedy, it’s really hard for me to give women in rock and

roll a chance. But, as you might know, Girl in a Coma hardly needs a chance. Just like how their debut record, Both Before I’m Gone, only takes 10 seconds of the first track, “Clumsy Sky”—which won the Independent Music Award for best punk song— to suck you in with the sultry vocals of Nina Diaz, only to be caught at the one minute mark by the driving guitar of punk that Joan Jett, and old Billie Joe would be proud to label as well. Isn’t t just like a woman to seduce you into coming closer, only to have a mosh pit close in on you from all sides. “Both Before I’m Gone” goes on to bring you tracks that come from a seven year his-tory of GIAC that range from straight up gritty rock and roll that the tight-jean-clad bandana-wearing dive bar occupant would pick on a juke box—to the kind of old-country influenced ballads that please Eisely loving youth group kids and Rolling Stone rock critics alike—to songs like “Race Car Driver” and “Sybil Vane…” that show you not to question whether these girls can bring more to the table when they want to…not when you want them to. Girl In A Coma is all over the place in the best way possible. Their sophomore release, Trio B.C., follows the same formula and gives it to you right away in case you forgot it. The first track leaves no doubt that these ladies are from Texas. It’s one of those rock-a-billy influenced jams that takes you to that smokey dive bar where every girl looks like a pin-up girl. Nina’s voice isn’t older, sexier, smokier…it never had to be. Maybe it’s produced a little better but I’ve French

kissed my Macbook an equal amount of times listening to both records. Track two, “Static Mind,” reminds you that these girls win awards for punk songs. Don’t let your guard down because you never know what Girl In a Coma is going to throw at you. In track three, “Vino,” they show us even within one song, they’re full of surprises. The song lets you relax for a minute with a waltzy melody that you’ll definitely sway to, then runs a driving distorted guitar that will make you want to mosh, then to a short upstroke ska riff that will just make your brain explode due to musical overload. Again, all over the place, but in the best way. Few bands can pull this off. Girl In a Coma goes on to push and pull you for another 10 tracks, and just like when a sexy woman comes through your life, you let them. They’ll kick your ass with punk tracks like “Empty Promise,” and “Baby Boy,” but then they’ll lay you down and give you that lovin the perfect woman gives you with sultry songs like “El Montre,” and then they’ll just chill out with you

on the couch like that girl who looks sexy even in sweats with songs like “Trail” and “Pink Lemon-ade.” Girl In A Coma – the perfect girl…band.

God I need a girlfriend.

www.myspace.com/theventnation 9

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I’ve always heard that, in San Antonio, two things will never die: metal and ska. As far as I know, that’s still true. It’s definitely half true in Corpus Christi. Maybe it’s a beach town (or a pothead town) thing, but it

definitely seems that you don’t have to wait too long around here to get your ska or reggae (more reggae, or reggae influenced locals) fix. Even if you can’t find a band playing, you can bet that acoustic wielding guy from your econ class at TAMUCC playing tonight will probably cover “Bad Fish” or some other Sublime song. (Can we make that Corpus Christi’s official song already?) But, if every jukebox in town is broken and a bad crop of weed put our local soloists out of commission, fear not—you only have to wait til June 12th when Orlando, Florida’s The Supervillains stops in at House of Rock. The Supervillains are tour-ing to push their latest record “Mas-

sive”—17 tracks that run the reggae gamut. There’s those laid back tracks that A&M CC students have prob-ably already mixed in their “study time” playlist with Pepper, Marley, and Sublime—like “Irukandji,” and “Get it On.” Then, of course, there are tracks that Corpus Christians will adopt as anthems and sing a long with, like “Smoke ‘Em”— “We can work things out, We can find a way. This land was built on compromise.

It’s the American way. Just don’t take my weed away”— and another legalization song “Crippy Weed.” But don’t get busted too buzzed if The Supervllains play their “1,2, F#!K You!!” moshy Voodoo Glow Skulls-ish jams, “The Pit,,” or “Snow White,” or you just might get forcefully knocked out from under that ire influence by a midget-punch-ing rudy (or the midget punching rudy, there’s gotta be at least one in Corpus, right? Please?).

The SupervillainsBy Michael Henneberger mikehenneberger@yahoo.com

www.theventnation.com10

We all swooned when Tak-ing Back Sunday’s Tell All Your Friends satiated our lovelorn longing for something that could fill that emo-shaped hole that you all had. Fags. It was 2002—my first serious girlfriend (of three years) and my band (of five years) both dumped me, Dashboard Confessional’s “Screaming Infideli-ties” and Saves The Day’s “Freakish” were getting airplay in on MTV, and the amount of crying dudes was rising as fast as eyeliner sales. And Taking Back Sunday was there—not with one, but two dudes screaming and crying…rocking back and forth as if vocalist Adam Lazarra and background vocal-ist John Roland were that emotional struggle we were all having inside. I’ve been a TBS fan ever since. They’re one of those bands that knows how to please—whether you’re listening to them live, or on that mix

CD your high school girlfriend made you the day before you saw her lip-stick on your skateboarding buddy’s collar. “Best friends means I’ll pull the trigger, best friends means you get what you deserve.” It’s been seven years. We’re over it now, right? There’s always something, and Taking Back Sunday has always been there to relate, and to make it New Again. The title couldn’t be more appropriate. After Tell All Your Friends, John Roland’s guitar and bgvs left to lead Straylight Run, and were replaced by Fred Mascherino’s. While TBS was new again, the sound of Where You Want To Be and Louder Now – the two CDs with Mascherino’s bgvs – weren’t a far departure from Tell All Your Friends. When Mascherino left to pursue his solo career with The Col-or Fred, Matt Fazzi replaced him on

guitar duties and supposedly on back-ground vocals, but when you listen to New Again, you can’t help but won-der where the back ground vocalist is when, throughout the record, no one replies to anything Lazarra sings. That trademark back-and-forth that made them so great is all too obviously ab-sent. We can’t say they didn’t warn us that it would be something new. The first single “Sink Into Me,” and the title track keep in the attitude of past tracks like “Liar” (Louder Now) and “Set Phasers To Stun” (Where You Want To Be). Continued on page 11

New Again…And Again…And AgainTaking Back Sunday – “New Again” (June 2nd)By Michael Henneberger mikehenneberger@yahoo.com

11www.myspace.com/theventnation

As the first two tracks, they ease you into what to expect. It is TBS, but a different TBS. Along with “Swing” and “Ev-erything Must Go,” there’s definitely enough on this record for the Tak-ing Back Sunday fan to love it, and more than enough to warrant another chance for those who weren’t caught by one of the earlier records. While the poppy “Summer, Man” couldn’t fit on any other record, it’s one of my favorites with a chorus that sounds like it was taken from an 80’s rock song, and just in time to be a summer anthem. “Cut Me Up Jenny” and “Lonely, Lone-ly,” are the kind of tracks that end up as b-sides if you don’t have to put every song on the album. They don’t really fit the record and they don’t really seem to fit even this new TBS. I don’t know if this is a good

thing or a bad thing, but there’s some tracks on this record like “Capitol M-E” and “Where My Mouth Is,” that could bring some real mainstream legitimacy to these guys. I mean, as long as La-zarra’s singing it will always sound like Taking Back Sunday, but the new TBS will flow perfectly on mainstream radio right after a track from Coldplay or The Killers. So, good for them.

…And Again (continued)

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