1982_0605_a
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Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
RECTOR BACKS POLISH MISSION
False start
to elections I C U H O N O R A R Y S E C R E T A R Y M a r c o L e d w o l d hat made his first
mistake' in the sabhal ioal election run-up .
As announced in F E L I X a n d inc luded on this term's calendar ,
papers for tin- s a b b a t i c a l posts of Pres ident . Deputy Pres ident ,
H o n o r . i n Secretary and F E L I X E d i t o r , were or ig inal ly intended to go
up yesterday.
However , M r L c d w o l d discovered on Thursday m o r n i n g that,
accord ing to die bye-laws, he was not required lo put papers up unt i l
15 Col lege days belore the elections. Hence papers wi l l be put up on
M o n d a y . February 15. instead.
H e explained his mistake by saving that the F E L I X E d i t o r had
pestered h im lor dales at the beginning of this term lor the F E L I X
Calendar and that he had mistakenly rushed. Instead of count ing 15
days before the elections, lie counted from the Hustings U G M .
Elections for the lour sabbatical positions w i l l be by campus wide
ballot in a l l departments on M o n d a y . M a r c h 8 and Tuesday, March 9.
The Rector, Lord Flowers, has agreed to give College backmfi
to a charitable venture to send food and medical supplies to
Poland.
A group cal led Supplies to P o l a n d ( S T P ) was formed at I C follow ing
M r C o l i n Cooper ' s letter in F E L I X G03 appea l ing for help. The S i !
group has been meeting regularly over the past two weeks and wilt
have a large meeting today at 12:45pm in the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l .
Their intention is to collect v i ta l supplies for P o l a n d and transport
them v ia sea a n d road over the Easter vacat ion . The group has already
ga ined support f rom organisat ions i n the B r i t i s h Isles a n d arc
part i cu lar ly pleased that the Col lege is a l l o w i n g them facilities lor a
temporary base.
The Rector stressed that the Col lege gave its support only if it was
clear that this wou ld be a totally char i table and non-po l i t i ca l venltire.
H e stressed that the group wou ld have lo "keep their noses clean
the Col lege eotild obviously not support a p o l i l i c i a l stance.
Three routes to Po land have been considered a n d are ciirieiilc
being rusted. A n announcement w i l l be made about the v iab i l i ty of the
project on February 20.
O n e of the m o v i n g forces beh ind S 'TP, M r Nicho las G a r d n i
graduated from C h e m i c a l Eng ineer ing in 1900) made an appeal
further help. The group need more people to act as both crew
support. Secretaries wou ld be helpful d u r i n g the preparations a n
was felt that any small a m o u n l of assistance would be welcome
Mr Passmore Mr Foreshau
Irish stew in the name of the law
Former ICU President Mr
John Passmore and C&GU
Vice President Mr David
Foreshow appeared at Mary-
^ilebone Magistrates Court on
Tuesday charged with caus
ing criminal damage.
It was alleged that on M o n d a y
J a n u a r y 18 at l 2 : 0 G p m , M r
Passmore and M r Foreshavv had
wi l ful ly torn an U n d e r g r o u n d
m a p f r o m t h e w a l l o n t h e
plat form of Baker St. L o n d o n
'Transport Stat ion.
B o t h p l e a d e d g u i l t y . M r
Passmore commented that he d i d
not think that this was typica l
behaviour and later confided that
he and M r Foreshaw had poss
ibly had "one or two over the
odds" in a reference to their slate
of inebr iat ion .
M a g i s t r a t e S i r I v o r R i g b y
presiding, l ined both defendants
£\0 and ordered them to pay £5
costs.
"No. 6 0 5 Friday February 12,1982 Free!
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Sir
Your c.onimeiiis about me
in last week's F E L I X editorial
must set some sort of record
low for this newspaper; in
terms not only of accuracy,
responsibility, and fairness,
but also the abuse o f the
supposedly unbiased position
the editor of a students (or
any other) newspaper should
occupy,
'The assertion that 1 am to
stand as a candidate for I C U
President is clearly in error, as
your vaunted " n e w s " report
ers w o u l d have d i s c o v e r e d
h a d they e x p l o r e d f u r t h e r
afield from the F E L I X Office
than the U n i o n Bar or the
B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m ,
had they found time off front
watching free f i lm previews in
the West E n d , or from wr i t ing
fatuous swimming articles. In
fact, a tr ip only as far as the
Gui lds U n i o n Oft ice to consult
with Sue Hart ley or F r a n k
Rowsc l l would have conf irm
ed that I have no intention of
cont esting the job of I C U Pres
ident. Surely too, i f you had
bothered to personally arrive
on time at I C 1J U G M s , or
a t t e n d I C U C o u n c i l , y o u
would have observed that I
h a v e p r o p o s e d o n l y one
motion at C o u n c i l (censuring
Barney) and have not spoken
to a motion at a U G M , nor
indeed have I been a part i
c u l a r l y f r e q u e n t c o r r e s
p o n d e n t i n these c o l u m n s .
S o m e b o d y f r a n t i c a l l y e lec
tioneering would , I believe,
have been more zealous i n
publ ic is ing his name, face and
opinions than I have this year.
Y o u continued your tirade
wi th an analysis of my pol i t i
ca l opinions, describing me as
a wet T o r y , about the only
remotely accurate part of the
editor ia l . 1 do not. however,
b e l i e v e t h a t a p o l i t i c a l l y
moderate stance, like the one
I r e c e n t l y t o o k at I ' l l '
attacking the P C L "riot in the
streets" brand of occupation
(something of general student
interest you failed to report at
any time dur ing the weeks the
occupation lasted) necessarily
implies that as I C l " President
I would have been a doormat
for the Rector to walk al l
over. 1 part ieularh resent the
u n s u b s t a n t i a t e d a l l e g a t i o n
t h a t I w o u l d u n d e r any
circumstances sell I C students
down the river, and I would
be pleased if you would cite
e x a m p l e s o f my s u p p o s e d
insincerity.
T h e p o i n t a b o u t y o u r
failure to report the P C L riots
I mentioned above may also
have some bearing on your
production of a F E L I X wi lh
two thirds of its front page
devoted to a non-news story.
In a week when K i n g s derided
to stay out of the N U S , when
the papers for student posts on
the University Senate went
up, and when the U L Subject
A r e a R e v i e w C o m m i t t e e s
(very important for the future
of the University as a whole)
reported, I believe your James
Deeny article was an insult to
the intelligence of students at
I C . S a d l y t h o u g h , s u c h
i n s u l a r i t y is t y p i c a l of t he
xenophobic hatred of any
thing outside this bit of S W 7
which characterises so many
F E L I X Editors. Indeed it is
probably my continued inter
est in U L U and consideration
o f a p o s s i b l e s a b b a t i c a l
election campaign there, on
issues you p r o b a b l y w o n ' t
have heard of, let alone care
a b o u t or u n d e r s t a n d that
c a u s e d y o u to w r i t e the
editorial you d id .
In c o n c l u s i o n , as E d i t o r
you have a responsibley to
earn your sabbatical salary by
publ ishing a paper containing
news, informed comment and
objective reporting, very little
of which was contained in last
w e e k ' s F E L I X . Y o u a lso
p r e s u m a b l y b e l i e v e y o u r
position gives you a good, in
depth, knowledge of at least
I his s t u d e n t s ' u n i o n : y o u r
f a i l u r e , l i k e t h a t o f y o u r
mentor and immediate pre
decessor, to print constructive
crit ic ism o l ' l ' n i o n and College
officials' actions, as opposed
to easv " k n o c k i n g copy" gives
the lie to that too.
Chris IIV/;/)
Dear Mr Smith
I wish lo condemn in no
uncertain terms your editorial
regarding M r Chr is Webb . It
is one of the most v i c i o u s
personal attacks that I have
read on anybody in F E L I X in
recent \ ears (and that includes
those made on C a p t L ind ley ) .
M r Webb , who proposed me
a couple of years ago for H o n
Sec. is one of flie most able
politicians in this College and
due to this he has over the
y e a r s h a d s u f f i c i e n t l y a
p l u r a l i s t i c a t t i t u d e to take
part in af fa irs b e y o n d the
walls of this College.
There is nothing wrong in
being a wet tory and as one of
our former Pr ime Ministers
(Edward Heath) has pointed
out there is every possibility of
wet lories and social demo
crats working together.
I therefore think that you
should publish a full retraction
of your totally unwarranted
attack on M r Webb .
Tours
Frank James
PS: I assume that a l l the
publ ic i ty rules for this coming
election have been torn up
(not only by yourself 1 might
add).
Sir
I am wri t ing to condemn
your attack on Chr is W e b b in
y o u r e d i t o r i a l l as t week .
Attacks on myself are fair as 1
a m e lec ted to a " p u b l i c "
position and should expect
public, crit icism. Y o u r crit ic
isms of me this year have been
a little uninspired, but more
of that in later weeks. Attacks
o n my p r e d e c e s s o r , J o h n
Passmore, are irrelevant to a
s i g n i f i c a n t sec t i on of y o u r
r e a d e r s h i p , but a g a i n ex
pected as he has held the
senior post in I C U . (Inciden
tally, John 's apparent laziness
may be attributable to the
way your predecessor wrecked
his m o t i v a t i o n ) . H o w e v e r ,
attacks on a potential presi
dential candidate are com
pletely out of order and could
cause irreparable damage to a
' campaign.
As Chr is wi l l not (actually
cannot thanks to your editor
ial) now stand for I he post of
I C l I President, 1 am able to
go on record as saying, with
due respect to other potential
candidates, that 1 think Chr is
would have been the best man
for the job.
Chr i s is an excellent orator
a n d has w o i ked h a r d for
students (at IC and elsewhere)
in the past. Sincerity is a word
I would use in describing h im.
T o slate Chr is is pol it ical and
ambitious is hardly to insult
h im. His politics do not agree
wi th mine, but I know Chris
has a genuine concern f o r I he
way any government's policies
affect students—an awareness
many students here would be
advised to develop.
I suspect vou wrote your
editorial in the belief that
Chr is would not stand for
I C l * P r e s i d e n t . I w o u l d
question the rel iabil ity of your
s o u r c e o f i n f o r m a t i o n in
forming that belief ami ask
you if you had contemplated
the possibility Chr is might
change his mi n d over the next
few weeks . W h i l s t a p p r e
ciating your desire for a lively
and informed election cam
paign, I believe you could
have prevented an excellent
candidate from running for
President.
II is possible Chris Webb
m a y d e c i d e to r u n for a
University of London sab
batical post. If he does, I hope
many IC students wi l l offer
s u p p o r t to a s i n c e r e a n d
articulate candidate.
Tours faithfully
N i c k M o r t o n
President, I C U
Dear Sir
1 was dismayed on Friday
morning to read in F E L I X
that my colleague and fellow
degenerate, M r James Deeny,
h a d supposed ly e m b a r k e d
upon a keep-fit campaign.
C o u l d this be, 1 wondered,
the same James Deeny I had
seen that very morning at
Gloucester R o a d wandering
haphazardly towards the tail
end of a 9:30 lecture amidst a
m i a s m a of f o u l , cancerous
fumes being emitted from a
cigarette clenched between
h i s d e c a y i n g t e e t h , a n d
nursing the bra in -numbing
r e s u l t s o f t h e p r e v i o u s
evening's alcoholic excesses?
Tours sincerely
Decrepit of Hammersmi th
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enial
T H E A W F U L L Y E M B A R R A S S I N G refectory Hat in the U n i o n
B u i l d i n g is sti l l empty, despite recent assurances from M r J o h n S m i t h .
Co l lege Secretary, that it w o u l d soon he handed oyer lor student
occupat ion .
M r S m i t h said this week that the use of the Hat is st i l l under review
and mentioned the possibility of conversion into showers.
However , U n i o n President M r N i c k M o r t o n seemed to think that
both Hats in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g wi l l eventually be used as student
accommodat ion . The second Hat is al present occupied by someone
from the Col lege bookings office.
M r M i c h a e l A r t h u r o f the Student Services O f f i c e sa id that
a l though he had not been officially informed, he ant ic ipated that the
Hats w o u l d be handed over lo his control in (he near future. The
possibility of a c commodat ing marr ied couples was mentioned.
New look for
Student Services
T H E S T U D E N T S E R V I C E S
O F F I C E at 15 Princes Gardens
has u n d e r g o n e e x t e n s i v e r e
organisation this week. Previously
the stall o l four had a l l worked on
the ground l loor leaving very
little m o m lor students who went
to the office.
N o w the typ ing duties and the
adminis trat ion of bills have been
m o v e d u p s t a i r s l e a v i n g I w o
S t u d e n t S e r v i c e s O f f i c e r s to
remain in the present offices lo
deal with any student problems.
Il is hoped lo have extensive
l ists o l any Hals a n d beds i ts
avai lable on noticeboards. W h e n
the existing part i t ion is removed
there w i l l be plenty ol room tor
b o t h s t u d e n t s l o o k i n g at I he
noticeboard and other people
who need to use the office.
Goodbye
Sue
M R S S U E K A L I C I N S K I , who
was a sub-warden of L instead
H a l l unt i l one year ago, recently
left for the i s l a n d o f T u v a l u
' formerly one of the Colbert a n d
E l l i e e I s lands ) in the P a c i f i c
O c e a n . Sue. and her husband
Geoff, w i l l spend two years as
volunteers teaching Eng l i sh and
m a t h e m a t i c s to s ome o l the
island's 700 inhabitants.
Before m o v i n g to L ins tead ,
Sue was the warden ol Southwel l
House . E v e l y n Gardens , and was
also the U n i o n Welfare Off icer in
her student days here.
Sue wi l l be especially remem
bered for her collee evenings in
E v e l y n Gardens and her New
Year ' s Eve parlies.
Cock up of the we
Wot no fire? Fireman Barney McCabe, Deputy President of the Imperial
College Union, with the City and Guilds mascot Jezebel, a 1903fire engine
Barney and Jezebel are still basking in the glory of their recent widely
acclaimed appearance on the children's TV programme, Blue Peter
London Student, Feb 11, 1982
MS
ouse More bloody great holes in the skirting
board!
I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E p l a y e d host to a f i l m c r e w f r o m the
Department of Industry 's Information Technology '82 last Tuesday. The
event was a display of maze-so lv ing by live micro ,mice and was .filmed
lo be shown on the fourth channel .
I C M i c r o C l u b booked the U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l lor the event a n d also
suppl ied the ten loot square maze w h i c h it had from a s i m i l a r event last
v ear.
>A mouse, looking suspiciously like a ZX80 with a furry doll on top.
The stars of the performance were Ster l ing M o u s e and T h u m p e r
who spoke wi th an A m e r i c a n accent and had previously demolished a n
I C l w n v n e c l maze. >
T h e M i c r o C l u b hope to have one of the mouse builders as a guest speaker soon. %
OLD CENTRALIANS
J . P . S o w d e n B S c ( E n g ) F C G I F I S t r u c t E
F B I M
Chairman , Costain G r o u p L t d 1973-80
Regional Director, Lloyds Bank
Fellow of Imperial College
Governor of Imperial College
Educated at Ci ty and Gui lds College (Civ Eng
dept) 1935-38
This man is an Old Centralian-how,
aboutyou?
For further information contact:
Helen Brookes, Room 303, Sherfield Building? *
Mike Richardson, City and Guilds Union Office,
Mechanical Engineering dept.
FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 3
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Following last week's editorial, three
articles have been received on elections...
Reversing the trend
by J Martin Taylor
The last two years have seen a sad decline in
the ability of the U n i o n to have any real effort
o n events in C o l l e g e . O f c o u r s e we are
consulted and sometimes even listened to, but
all too often we are ignored. The reason for
this is the deliberate policy of 'co-operation' of
the last two years.
J o h n Passmore , who it is clear in retrospect
was out of his depth as President, was elected
pledging to increase co-operation with College
after the more confrontation-type policies of
t h e p r e v i o u s t w o P r e s i d e n t s , M a r y
Attenborough and Ch r i s F o x . This , together
w i t h the fact that J o h n P a s s m o r e m a k e s '
Barney M c C a b e appear industrious, has led to
the state of affairs we now see, where 'anything
for a quiet life' seems to have become the
Presidential role. N i c k M o r t o n , although very
likeable and well intentioned, has failed to
reverse this. I'm sure he gets on very well with
the Rector, M r Mooney , etc. H e should do,
because he rarely, if ever, causes them any
problems. Hence the 'quiet life' approach has
spread to the College authorities, who have
c o n s e q u e n t l y s l i p p e d in to a c o m f o r t a b l e
complacency.
I s h o u l d p o i n t out here that I a m not
suggesting that we should hold occupations or
take other forms of disruptive action, except
as a last resort. But the U n i o n has been sadly
lacking any firm, decisive leadership over the
last two years. Co-operation has gone too far
when 'the Rector and the President of the
Students ' U n i o n decided' on a mid-session
r e n t i n c r e a s e ( t o q u o t e f r o m S t u d e n t
R e s i d e n c e C o m m i t t e e m i n u t e s ) in d i r e c t
c o n t r a d i c t i o n of U n i o n po l i cy . T h e n N i c k
M o r t o n says he didn't consider a rent strike
because 'nobody proposed one'. Frightened of
annoying the Rector, Nick? In the words of
M a r k Smith , if we can't rely on the President to
lead, then who will?
In these i n c r e a s i n g l y dif f icult t imes the
U n i o n needs strong leadership, which means
not being afraid ot annoying or criticizing
College 'dignitaries' when they deserve it. It
means standing up for students' interests and
not adopting the laissez-faire attitudes seen
over the last two years. It means leading in a
definite direction, rather than attempting to
drift with the tide and please all of the people
all of the time, which is only possible if you do
n o t h i n g (as N i c k M o r t o n is b e l a t e d l y
discovering).
In short: co-operation, yes; but when it
r e a c h e s the e x t e n t of a c q u i e s c e n c e to
everything College comes up with, then it has
gone too far. The U n i o n has become little
more than a branch of the College administra
tion when more than ever it needs to be
fighting the students' corner. This trend must
be r e v e r s e d n o w . C o m e b a c k M a r y
Attenborough and C h r i s F o x , all is forgiven!
1982 Presidential
Election
by Andrew Lyall
It cannot have escaped the notice of any
student who has been at IC for more than a
year and quite possibly many of those who
arrived at the beginning of this year that I C U is
a fast declining institution held in contempt by
many of its ordinary members. This is a tragic
thing to have happened to the instrument that
represents the students of one of the most
important academic institutions in the world.
Traditionally the sabbatical Un ion Officers
s t r e n u o u s l y b l a m e t h i s o n t h e o r d i n a r y
members, who they say are boring, apathetic
and not interested in the Union . What amazes
me is that after pathetic exhibitions like the last
U G M they should be at all surprised by the
non-interest. I have been at IC now for five
years and my own experience does not tally
with this commonly held view. The old joke
about boring scientists and engineers is simply
not true. One only needs to look at the many
very active clubs and societies and the large
number of events that take place every week
to realise that IC is overflowing with interesting
and intelligent people.
N o the truth is very far from this. The
problem lies in the fact that in recent years the
U n i o n has been represented by the very small
minority of students at IC who are boring.
Those people who view the U n i o n as a vehicle
for cosseting their own egos and providing
them with a glass of sherry when something
Effective
leadership
by Stephen Goulder
The most important single factor effecting I C U
next year will be the increase in its grant. This
increase will be not more than 5%, which is well
short of the rate of inflation. This is arguably
fair since College itself is having to sustain a
cut of 20% in its expenditure over the next
three years.
In view of this any changes made under the
regime of the next I C U President must be cost
e f fec t ive . A l l the e l e c t i o n p ledges of the
prospective candidates must be seen in this
light. For example we can only bring the Union
Refectory under Un ion control if it is going to
generate a profit in the short and medium
term. I have used this example because it is the
pledge most often made but (as usual) never
kept, indeed accurate costings of the Un ion
R e f e c t o r y have n e v e r been made by the
U n i o n . This is one good reason to treat every
election candidate with healthy scepticism.
T h i s n e e d f o r a n a p p r e c i a t i o n of t h e
economic climate is most obvious in the antics
of M r N i c k M o r t o n and the Bar Committee .
His committee apparently intends to have a
bust of Prince Albert in the Southside Bar in
addition to a coloured print of Prince Albert 's
coat of arms and various Vic tor ian prints at a
c o s t of £750. T h i s is u t ter waste a n d a n
extravagance that any President should have
stopped immediately.
T h e r e is a l so ine f f i c i ency in the U n i o n
administration itself which must be cut. In
particular U n i o n Finance Committee must
have a more effective policy governing the
expenses that most clubs have in common. In
upsets them. They may well be nice people—in
fact having known almost all of them I know
this to be so, but they have not been leaders,
and worse they have not been interested in
the membership. In my view there is a wealth
of talent and potential interest and involvement
present among the membership waiting for a
suitable President to be elected.
The normal procedure for electing a Un ion
President relies on candidates who have been
"brought up through the ranks " in the U n i o n
way of thinking and after the votes have been
counted they take a single step sideways and
sit d o w n in the P r e s i d e n t i a l c h a i r . T h e s e
people are easily recognizable and 1 urge you
not to vo te for t h e m as they are t o ta l ly
unsuited for the position of President.
This is going to be a very important year for
students at IC . The I C / Q E C merger is still
lurking in the background and the student
grant has received a substantial cut in real
terms. The Brit ish education system has a
history of political tinkering and it is important
that the elected representatives of I C U should
resist any attempt to break the mould of the
Brit 'sh education system against the interest of
the universities and students concerned. This
issue of merges is a far wider one and effects
not only I C / Q E C students. Have you heard of
the Bedford /Birkbeck merge for example?
Back at College a private caterer has at last
broken the Mooney monopoly and discussions
about an N U S referendum are starting again.
A lot of important decisions are going to
have to be made this coming year and it is of
vital importance to elect a President who is not
going to let himself be pushed around and is
dedicated to making the U n i o n effectual and
more relevant to its members.
particular laying down norms for publicity and
speakers expenses. They have already taken
steps to effectively put the clubs that need to
buy large items of equipment onto five year
plans (hence spreading the load over five
years). This must be carried on by next year's
Executive.
In the f i e lds of A c a d e m i c A f f a i r s a n d
External Affairs the President plays a leading
role. Again it is the expenditure cuts that
govern the range of problems that will crop up.
W e must fight to keep a firm commitment to
teaching in all departments rather than let it be
sacrificed to save current research. The public
spending cuts generally mean that we are
w i t n e s s i n g a r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n of L o n d o n
University as a whole. Thus to be an effective
voice next year we must have an integrated
response from the student unions of L o n d o n
University.
I hope it is apparent that next session we
m u s t h a v e a P r e s i d e n t w h o h a s s o m e
experience of the way both College and Union
w o r k s . U n i n f o r m e d e l e c t i o n p ledges c a n
seldom be implemented.
It is clear that the Union has lost its direction
over the last two years. This has occured
because the sabbaticals have failed to relate to
many students and have been content to wait
in the U n i o n Bar for the masses to come to
them. But perhaps the most fatal error made
by M r M o r t o n and M r Passmore is that they
assumed that by sitting on committees they
were actually being effective. They were in fact
becoming ever more isolated in the Union
Office never making any real effort to talk to
o r d i n a r y s t u d e n t s . T h e y thus e x c h a n g e d
relevant feedback for hackist sycophancy.
Thus I urge you to vote for a candidate who
is at least partly experienced in Un ion affairs,
willing to argue the U n i o n cause effectively,
and most importantly willing to get out of his
office and meet students around College.
Page 4 FELIX, February 12, 1982
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Small Ads •Vacation Jobs
Wanted for t ra in ing a n d one week
t e l e p h o n e i n t e r v i e w i n g : 2 D u t c h ,
2 G e r m a n and 2 Italian nat ionals to
c o n d u c t market research for a g e o
phys ica l survey. Sc ient i f i c know ledge
r e q u i r e d — m i n i m u m A L e v e l ( o r
e q u i v a l e n t ) P h y s i c s a n d M a t h s .
P a y m e n t £ 3 . 5 0 an h o u r . C o n t a c t
C l a i r e , F i e l d D e p a r t m e n t , B u r k e
Market Resea rch , 6 C a m p d e n H igh
Street, L o n d o n NW1 O J H ; te lephone
(01) 387-5761.
•Working Holidays, Summer Jobs.
G u i d e to var ied work oppor tun i t ies
and free travel at home and abroad ,
£ 1 . 5 0 . H a w t h o r n B o o k s ( F X ) ,
39 H a w t h o r n W a y , S t o r r i n g t o n ,
S u s s e x
•Bush Arena stereo tuner-amplifier and Garaa rd S P 2 5 M k l V turntable and speakers , vgc, £100ono. P h o n e Mar ie , 404-4441 ext 3046 dur ing day or 602-2237 after 6:00pm.
• Pioneer turntable 512, belt dr ive and Tr io KA3700 stereo ampl i f ier , 25w, both in excel lent cond i t ion . £80 the p a i r , o r w i l l s p l i t . C o n t a c t M . G . R o b i n s o n , M e c h Eng 2.
•Two Sony speakers (SS50), 40w, g o o d cond i t ion , £40 pair, ono . A . C . Hay, D o C 3 .
• N A D 9200 cartridge, Mmt on ly £10. Con tac t Terry J u d d , C iv Eng 2 or 373-5367 after 6:00pm. • T a n g e n t R S 4 s a n d s t a n d s a n d moni tor audio leads, £175 or offers, 584-8241 evenings.
•Wanted: Any in format ion leading to the return o
f
Bo 's toolkit, i.e., a 2" Whi twor th brass spanner and spare sump bolt. P lease contact C & G U . •Single room S inc la i r G d n s , £25pw. Con tac t Steve J a c k s o n , E E 2 .
• Person needed to share flat, Sou th -f ields, near tube, £25pw inc hot water, centra l heat ing, l ight ing, etc. (phone exc l ) . P h o n e int 3370 or 874-9920.
•Would two girls l ike to comp le te a g roup of 8 to apply for a C o l l e g e head tenancy flat next year? If interested p lease contac t Ph i l ip A d e y via Ae ro 2 let ter-racks.
• Lists of lifts to a n d f r o m S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n c a n be o b t a i n e d f r o m R o o m 6M19 , Hux ley Bu i l d i ng New i n c l u s i o n s a r e a l w a y s w e l c o m e Please state c lear ly whether y o u want or are offer ing a lift and give your internal and external phone numbers (or letter-rack contac t points) . No phone cal ls please—I have no ob ject ion to d o i n g th is in my spare- t ime, but it has to be at my conven ience .
• Perhaps a little late now but a brief note that Ch r i s tmas and other used cards can be sent (or taken) to the Sisters of Verona , 4 Ch i sw i ck Lane , W4. They use them in their therapy work for the menta l ly hand i capped .
• Badgesoc makes badges for anyone : s o c i e t y , c l u b , e l e c t i o n c a n d i d a t e , valent ine, c l ique. Taste no object , e.g. "Ba rney M c C a b e Fan C l u b " . Con tac t Lee Mercer c /o M e c h E n g . •Fancy a free ticket to the Hammersmith Theatre? A l l that's involved is a c c o m p a n y i n g s o m e old people there. C o m e to a meet ing on M o n d a y in the C o m m u n i t y Ac t i on Group ' s room, top of the U n i o n , at 12:30pm.
• Covent G d n , The Venue, Paris Pullman, The Southbank—interested? Meet us to d i scuss these and any th ing else, M o n Feb 15, 12:45pm, Beit A r c h B o t / Z o o C o m m o n R o o m .
•Rash, Tim, Anthony, Denbo, Alison, Angela, Hannah, etc. T h a n k s for a great bir thday.
•Wanted: C S gas and stun g renades . See C & G Un ion .
• IC MCP Soc wil l meet in A8 L ins tead every night. B o o k a b l e in advance . A m e r i c a n Express accep ted . P lease c o m e qu ick ly .
• T o m Owen has got his head together and wi l l not be s tand ing for anything. A p o l o g i e s to those whose hopes were ra ised.
• Guy! If you' re worr ied about shar ing you r bed try a cork.
• BE 2 / DN W S . J . A . Har r ison (ex-Wimp
of the Week) takes on J u i c y Janet . Wil l
Kirt Gerb i l ' s work -ou ts pay off!
•Wanted: One 36" DD c u p bra for use
as jockst rap. R m 622, T iza rd .
• K a y ' s S i s t e r , I l o v e y o u , D a v i d ' s brother
• K a r e n Barnett I w ish I was ten years
younger , J o h n Healy
• J o h n , so do I Ka ren
• C a r o l i n e B rown I think you ' re great.
If you ever need an extra player, I'll g lad ly shave my legs. H a m m y
• S u e M ? I hope you don't go away.
• A l e x B., and of course Mac ie i , happy Valent ine 's Day from F l? and S n o w bal l .
• F i f i : you make that rock ing wor ld go round—Br ian M.
• 6 7 2 : "I wander lonely as a c l o u d -but on ly when you' re not there, 1. •A l i son—I ' ve been long ing to get out of hospi ta l and into your arms. Lots of love, Andy .
• E lena. If a w o m a n in your pos i t ion
were to grant me an hour? Geo rge .
• H y d e Park isn't b ig e n g u g h for our
l ove—come to the moon with me—I've
heard there's plenty of Gui r tness there
and no creaky f loorboards—I love y o u
madly and forever, T rog lede B.
• 6 4 3 3 S F ; Pa t ience is a virtue, am
look ing forward to reward:
• D o n ' t tell L i am, Maths 1.
• T o schoo lg i r l s everywhere all my
love—Jez .
• T o J e z all my l o v e — H Q N O O . • T o the high p i tched Sco tswoman " H u l l o o ! " b e M . Y . v a l e n t i n e — C h u n d e r m a n .
• L o v e and k isses to all " L e s femmes de la c l i que " f rom P & A .
• N . G . L ins tead longt ime no see, have
a g o o d day anyway, the Tar tan F rog .
• W o o d s t o c k , happy Valent ine 's Day,
love and k isses and cudd les , B o n z o .
• P e n g u i n shifts to ninety degrees
because Fosters refreshes the parts G u i n n e s s can't reach.
• H o t l i p s of Phys i cs , be my valent ine, lots of love, Bi f fo.
• L o u i s e , be my C a n a d i a n "valentine. Tenn is players do it for love, M i chae l . • P e t a l — y o u too c a n d o it o n the computer .
•I'l l be you r va lent ine a n y t ime you ' r e
on a D C - 1 0 ser ies 300. Meet me for a
bit of s lothfu l dev ia t ion.
• T o my hunk, thanks to F E L I X , my
fel ine f r iend, I can say 'I love y o u ' and
save £8 into the barga in , the Kat. P S :
H a p p y Bi r thday.
• S t u t c h b e r r i e s — o n l y £1—so ld .
• M a r t i n with one and a half legs, why
didn't y o u fall for a drane ins tead of
get t ing all p lastered up?
• De reyous chap sa id : " C o m e p lay me a ba l l a rd " and she agreed.
• N o t t i n g h a m F o r e s t o n e , S t u a r t
Un i ted love. A n i l luminat ing match !
• H u n t . Beware , when the cats away
the m ice wi l l play. Take care.
• C a p t a i n L — c a n we al l jo in y o u in
y o u r Matey bubb le ba th? L o v e and
k isses , the kitty.
• T i m m y : I've noth ing to lose,_ Jane .
• Fraser : T h a n k s for the bal l , E i ra . .
• G r i b b i t : A k i n d r e d s p i r i t : T h e creature from the b lack l agoon .
• Bendy : Why haven't you no t i ced me? Shi r ley .
• J a n e B: C r a d l e sna tch in ' s fun, J W .
• P h i l l i p a : You ' re B E H I N D the t i m e s -
Dav id J a m e s .
• O t t e r — R a v i s h me, J a n e W.
• P h i l l i p a — L i e b a c k a n d t h i n k of P o l a n d — M ?
• C h i p p i e — C o m e fly with me, The B i rdman .
• T s a r — T w e e t , Tweet , Teapot .
• D r Waage—f rom your loyal b lood dono rs !
• L e c h — L e t ' s exp ress ou r S o l i d a r n o s c ? Y o n .
• A m a n d a — W h e n wi l l the answer be yes? S . C . R . E . W .
• R u s s e l l — M a y our affair last forever. Ar thur G u i n n e s s .
• T u r k e y , you ' re f inger l i ck in ' g o o d ,
Gary .
• D e b b i e — s q u e e z e me! Zit .
• Ant—I' l l never g ive y o u a c o m m o n
c o l d — D J B H C .
• J i l l — L e t ' s shake, rattle and ro l l , U g .
• P o d g e — L o o k i n g fo rward to T u e s
day, Lynz .
• I / U C h a l l e n g e G r i f f i n / G a s c o i g n e to be a sweet ie /smar t ie today. • H a p p y Valent ine 's Day f rom " T h e G a n g of Four " .
John Watts (ex Fischer-Z)
2 Supports, Steel Band, Jazz Band, & 2 Discos
Food available. Bar til 2am. 8pm-3am Union Building Tickets £2.50
FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 5
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What do you want to know about Welfare Week for? After all,
you're not sick. Mummy and Daddy told you all about the birds
and bees ages ago, and perhaps you're onto the 'practical' by
now. It's bound to be boring, anyway. Well, in my time at IC I've
come across some pretty weird misconceptions and some
extremely naive attitudes, not to mention a fair number of
unreasonable viewpoints. What we're aiming to do is to provide a
factual background and an open forum for discussion on a few of
these points, and maybe even a bit of fun (shock, horror!). It's up
to you if you want to come along or not, but it's taking up a fair
amount of your money, so you may as well come along and make
it worthwhile.
Glad to be Gay? F r o m most people's attitudes in this place you may think that it's pretty
odd to be gay—something dirty or whatever. Yet statistically there are
probably as many as 500 gays at IC. So , if you've found that you are (or
might be) gay you're almost certainly not as alone as you felt.
But what does it feel like to be gay? Is it any 'different'? H o w do you
become gay—is it a disease (yes, people actually believe that), is it inborn
or a result of background? I don't know, but come along and discuss
i t—whether you're gay yourself, or consider gays as " fucking queers" or
"raving poufs" it's likely there'll be something to gain.
I've noticed that many people find it threatening to be in the company
of someone who is gay—apparently they think that they're just about to
leap on them or something—but perhaps a word: do you find every girl
(or guy) you come across irresistably attractive? Chances are he/she
finds you as unattractive as you find him/her.
0,
Films On show all Wednesday afternoon.
Just One The effect of that one drink on your
system is quite surprising. Find out!
The Least You Can Do A moderately serious
view of contraception.
Drinking Drinking more sodding drinking—but
you almost all do too much!
'Ave you got a male assistant miss? A light
hearted view of the taboos of contraception.
A VD Attack Plan Not us at it, but it at us (wot?)
O, 'o
4
ICU Welfare Officer
EVEN 12:45pm
1:00pm
Tuesday, February 16
Gale Is Dead Union S C R
Wednesday, February 17
00pm
10pm
00pm
3:00pm
4:00pm
8 til late
Condom Inflation
Competition
Drugs: Good or Bad?
Film: Sex can be a Problem
Discussion of film and sexual
Problems
Drinking: what does it do
to you?
Gay: what does it mean?
'Welfare Hop '—Barn Dance
& Disco. Late bar & films
Beit Quad
Upper Lounge
Union Dining Hall
Union Dining Hall
Brown C o m m Rm
Upper Lounge
Union Building
Thursday, February 18
1:00pm Police: good, bad or just ugly? Upper Lounge
The Fuzz
Hav e you got the greatest of respect for the Police Force? Not everyone
has—the more scruffy amongst us tend to represent prime targets for
searching for drugs, breathalysing and so on, and it doesn't tend to leave
you with too good an image when you've just been made twenty minutes
late for an important meeting (I know!). Yet they do need to do their job
somehow (or are you an anarchist?). If you have either viewpoint, or
could put forward any suggestions, come along Thursday lunchtime and
voice your views.
Sex can be a Problem
Right now your only problem may be "getting it down" at embarrassing
times. Yet it might frighten you that it has been estimated that one in
twelve women suffer from frigidity, and that one in twenty men suffer
from impotence. It's not something many of us discuss much—and
perhaps you didn't know of the treatments available (I sure didn't). This
film will be followed by a discussion headed by a representative of
'Grapev ine '—a young peoples sexual counselling agency (amongst other
things)—come along to either or both.
Attention Links/Chaps/22/Field C u p
Contestants
A r o u n d IC it's the accepted thing to go for a drink with your mates. Fine,
but we all know that drinking can be a problem. W h e n does social
drinking become a problem? Ten pints a week? Twenty? It's difficult to
know, but I was shocked when I found out just how much alcohol affects
the system, and how long the effects last. Perhaps the most sobering
thought (excuse the pun) was brought home by the film Just One
(showing Wednesday afternoon). I always thought one drink did nothing
to me and that two or three had little more effect—but I found I was
wrong. Obviously cirrhosis of the liver isn't the only possible problem.
If you've been going to the pub more than four or five times a week—if
you've really got into practice so that you can handle eight or ten pints,
then the chances are that you might be doing yourself serious harm.
Please pick up a questionnaire from the display in the Union Lower
Lounge (a leaflet as well if you like) and fill it in—with luck we can get
some statistics for College. In any case please come along 10 the talk by
the L o n d o n Counc i l on Alcohol ism and find out just what you're doing to
yourself!
Gale Is Dead
Gale was nineteen and pretty. She 'd been taken into care at the age of six
months and in the intervening years had been in fourteen different
institutions. She became a drug addict. N o w G a l e is dead. Perhaps a life
where nothing went right, but perhaps not so different from your own.
For those who didn't see this film on B B C H o r i z o n in 1970 it's a must.
A tragic story, but it should be of interest to everyone.
Drugs
I guess that nearly everyone at College has come across drugs at some
time. (Note, that includes tobacco and alcohol by definition!), and whether
or not you support the legalisation of cannabis you must agree that
some drugs do have very harmful effects. But because it's illegal, drugs is
not a subject that is often discussed, and perhaps you might be tempted
to 'try them out' to see what they're like. Just what are the effects (both
pleasurable and harmful) of specific drugs? What is truth and what is
myth? Just what does the law say? These are all things I'm not sure about
(perhaps you are!), and there's a chance to ask all these questions (and
more) at the discussion lead by the community drug project (Wednesday
afternoon).
Abortion
It's a pretty emotive subject and whether you're a firm believer in the
"women's right to choose" or the "rights of the unborn ch i ld " this often
stirs up a lot of feeling. But yet this is often allowed to cover up facts that
are important, leaving the pregnant party bewildered and mixed up to say
the least. A r e the fears of future sterility well founded or rubbish (or
something in between)? C a n your G P stall you until it's too late? What
will an abortion cost? See the stall in the U n i o n Lower Lounge to find out,
any time during the week.
Rape
"Well , it's good for a laugh."
" A l l women need a good raping anyway."
"They enjoy it."
For anyone who thinks any of these are true, perhaps I can straighten
out a few misconceptions. Rape is a very serious business—if "they enjoy
i t " , then it just isn't rape—something more like the truth might include
violence (beating, "cutt ing" , etc.), anal and/or oral as well as normal sex
and other enforced degradation (the attacker might urinate or defaecate
on the victim for instance). Pretty sickening picture isn't it? It seems to be
something accepted in our "male dominated society' that women only
exist to "get la id" and that if some girl is wearing attractive clothing she's
out to "get a man" . This leads to many of the misconceptions that can
lead to rape. If you want to know more, please pick up one of the leaflets
that'll be around, or come and see me and I'll lend you a copy of the Rape
Cris is Centre 's report.
IC Welfare Plug Believe it or not, IC has quite a good range of welfare facilities—almost
whatever's wrong there's bound to be someone to go to see.
H e a l t h C e n t r e - t h i s boasts three fu l l - t ime d o c t o r s a n d n u r s i n g /
administrative staff to match, a large sick bay and various visiting
specialists (including an accupuncturist!) . They're all to be found in 14
Princes Gardens .
Student Counsellor -Don 'hangs out' in the basement of number 15
Princes Gardens and spends his time talking to students about anything
that is bothering them; from workload to home environment and beyond.
So why not go and see him if you have a problem-it's absolutely
confidential so no-one else will know.
Student Services-This includes the accommodation office (medium-
large amounts of College and private sector accommodation) to sort out
somewhere to live and the 'Welfare Bit ' to help out with practical
problems (landlord hassles, rent rebates, signing on, rights, etc.) and
anything else that you can't think where to go for—if they don't know,
they'll probably know where you can find out.
Nightline-This has the great advantage of being open at night rather
than during the day-if you're feeling a bit down or would like to chat about
something there's always someone there during termtime (6:00pm-
8:00am). They 've got a fair selection of info too on Ents , films, discos,
transports; you name it! A n d they'll find you somewhere to find out if they
can't tell you themselves. Sounds impressive, doesn't it? T o find how it
really works, drop in some time to the basement of 9 Princes Gardens or
ring them on 581-2468.
Day Nursery -For anyone with p r e s c h o o l age children, this can be a
great help-it runs throughout the year (not just during termtime) and has
skilled and experienced staff. There's even a grants scheme for anyone
who can't afford the full fees-but unfortunately there's often a waiting list,
so if you think you might want to use it try to let them know in advance
Page 6 FELIX, February 12, 1982 FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 7
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CLUBS AND SOCIETIES-
PhotoSoc
A s those of you who have read our newsletter will know, we have arrangec
two lectures and two competitions for the end of this month and the
b e g i n n i n g of n e x t . T h e r e a r e , h o w e v e r , s o m e a l t e r a t i o n s to the
programme. Firstly, the lecture on M a r c h 2 entitled " T h e rise and fall of
the plate camera ' by Mart in Russell , will start at 7:30pm and not 6:30pm as
stated. M r Russell will be bringing a van-load of historical plate cameras
with h im, and if you have an old camera you would like to bring along he
will give an expert opinion on it. Entrance is free, but come early, as the
theatre (Mines 3-03) is not very large and M r Roussell is an extremely
popular lecturer.
Secondly, M r A . J . Wi lk inson F R I C S , who was to be judging the
coloure competition on M a r c h 16, is unable to come. W e will be trying to
find another judge, further details will be given nearer the time.
F i n a l l y , d o n ' t forget that o u r f irst event is a b l a c k a n d whi te
competition, to be judged by M r G .D . H a r p m a n , on February 23 at
6:30pm in Mines 3-03. The entry fee is 20p per print, and photos should
be not less than 5"x7" and need not be mounted.
S F S o c
T h e r e c o m e s a t ime i n e v e r y
man's (and woman's) life when he
(or she) has to face up to certain
undeniable . truths. Fortunately,
this time has, for me at least, not
yet arrived, so here is a bulletin
instead. A new S F magazine has
c o m e i n t o e x i s t a n c e a n d i t s
Brit ish . It's called Ext r o and issue
one is rather good. If it continues
at that standard it will be worth
ordering. I have no information
about the other new magazine,
Interzone. Have you ever won
dered why biblical fundamentalists
don't think the earth is flat? What
freemasonry is all about? H o w
Nigel Ca lder persuades the B B C
to film the scripts he sends them?
Is it r e a l l y t r u e t h a t a w e l l
p r o g r a m m e d K r a y O n e w i t h
f e e d b a c k m e c h a n i s m s w o u l d
make a better Prime Minister than
Margaret Thatcher? What are the
Protocols of the Elders of Britain?
D o you know what Merovigian
means? A l l these questions are
l i n k e d . I r e m e m b e r l a u g h i n g
yesterday but I can't remember
what at. Does anyone think they
can write funny bulletins for S F
Soc? D o you thank G a r y Trudeau
w o u l d a c c e p t t h e j o b ? Y e s ,
question marks can be fun, but
when were they invented? Some
body call the A A : I'm about to
have a breakdown.
R.T. Zinc and Hiriam Maxim
Ind Soc
T o d a y , Ian R o s s w i l l a c t u a l l y
speak C h e m Eng L T 1 , 1:00pm,
bankruptcies , strikes and general
chaos permitting. Hear how Laker
flew and flopped.
The Great Thames Barrier was
inspected and passed safe by the
Industrial Society yesterday. This
was one of our most popular visits
yet, with a minibusful enjoying a
l o o k r o u n d o n e of L o n d o n ' s
modern monuments.
Next : Election Fever hits ICIS
as well as I C U this week. Nomina
tions for next year's Committee
close on Friday, February 19, so
anyone who may wish to s land
p l e a s e d r o p a n o t e l o C h r i s
Wilshaw, C h e m Eng 4 or come lo
today's c o m m i t t e e m e e t i n g ,
12:30pm, C h e m Eng Theatre I.
A l s o next week: 'The Fuel ol I he
F u t u r e ' ta lk by M r P a r k e t o l
t ' N a t i o n a l C o a l B o a r d see
posters and nexl week's I I.I IX
for details.
C o m i n g soon: Full day wi lh
Brit ish A i r w a y s — " W h a t does a
Manager actually do?" you ask.
Wel l , here's a chance lo accoin
pany one about his daily business
and find out more information as
we receive i t—We ' l l take more
care of you!
AudioSoc
M y sincerest apologies come along with a whole string of them from M r
M i k e Daniels and he is very sorry for not being able to come along and
lecture to all you lovely afficianados but the Aud io T / A T LabsShow
came first as I am sure you will understand. Maybe next time, eh? N o w
dry your eyes and after having sighed a silent sigh, read on... .
Rol l up, roll up, rollup; hear the bestest lecture you'se ever did
hear—Hallelujah life is anew. Although he is Austral ian (and they did
bring Fosters along with the Aborigne and the hopping kangaroo), M a x
Townshend is a great personality and an amazing electrical engineer to
boot. H o w could you possibly miss this one?
Elite Electronics will conjure up mental facsimiles of small black boxes
with knobs on , sticky mat turntables with no knobs on and very good
sound quality. We l l , M a x is the Managing Director of this company and
he has promised to come in and give us a lecture on some of the ideas he
had used in developing his audio system. This he has promised to do on
Monday , February 15, at 6:30pm in the Quiet R o o m , QR002 , Sherfield
Building. S o support your neighbourhood Spiderman and come along. I
vow that you will enjoy yourselves. Br ing a friend, dog or bottle.
Just as an extra incentive (and someone else did this) Raymond C o o k ,
Managing Director of K . E . T . Loudspeakers is at Imperial College the
next day, Tuesday, February 16 at 6:00pm in Room 6.20, Royal Schoo l of
M i n e s B u i l d i n g . H i s l e c t u r e is e n t i t l e d " T h e D e v e l o p m e n t of the
Loudspeaker" . H e is a very educated gentleman—witness the number of
times his product gets on Tomorrow's World.
2nd Year Students Now[s the time to make plans for a job in the Summer of '82... If you ' re an ambitious 2nd year student, F o r d have
some good news for you. W e are looking for a
small number of people l ike you to work for us for
up to 3 months this summer vacation in jobs which
wi l l be very r e w a r d i n g in more ways than one.
There are opportunities in Sales & Marke t ing ,
Des ign Engineer ing , Finance or Systems, and
you ' l l earn around £400 a month. Y o u ' l l also gain
valuable work exper ience and, if you l ike us and
we l ike you, these openings cou ld l ead to an
excit ing career opportunity when you come down
To be cons idered for Systems or Engineer ing
you must be read ing a relevant degree . How
ever, if you 'd l ike to work in Sales & M a r k e t i n g or
Finance any degree disc ip l ine would be
welcome.
So join the Ford team this summer. It wi l l be a
very r e w a r d i n g exper ience . For more
information, contact Miss Porter of the C a r e e r s
A d v i s o r y Serv ice in Room 309, Sherf ield Bui lding.
C l o s i n g date 28th February , 1982.
Page 8 FELIX, February 12, 1982
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CLUBS AND SOCIETIES
Graffiti
F o r t h o s e w h o d o n ' t k n o w ,
G r a f f i t t i m e m b e r s a r e s t r a n g e
p e o p l e w h o r e v e l i n a r t i s t i c
activity. Perhaps more accurately
we attempt to produce screen-
p r i n t e d p o s t e r s , T - s h i r t s a n d
v a r i o u s o t h e r t h i n g s . W e a r e
prepared to print almost anything.
A lot of our work involves printing
p o s t e r s f o r o t h e r c l u b s a n d
societies. So , if you're a publicity
officer bored with F E L I X printing,
come and see us. W e usually need
a couple of weeks notice because
all printing is done in spare time.
W e can be found, about half-way
up the West Staircase (opposite
side to U n i o n Office) of the Un ion
Building behind the G y m . There is
always someone there on Wednes
day afternoons or alternatively
contact us throught department
letter-racks.
W e have recently bought an
airbrush which will be available to
members when they have been
shown how to use it properly.
Demonstrations will be held on
Wednesdays and must be attended
by anyone who wants to use it.
ICCAG
Free tickets to the theatre, read
on A l l that you need to do is
take some old people. We' l l pay
for y o u r t i c k e t . G e t in t o u c h
Monday if you're interested.
L ike playing with kids? T w o
options open: Saturday aftenoon
at A c t o n w i t h h a n d i c a p p e d
children, or outings with children
of battered wives.
Usua l Soup Runs and draught-
p r o o f i n g h o m e s , v i s i t i n g o l d
people at a home in High St.
Kensington, visiting patients at St.
Pancras Hospital . A l l details at the
meeting.
Meetings: Monday , 12:30pm, in
our room at the top of the Union .
Bookshop News
I C O N , the Imperial Co l lege Review is now on sale in the
Bookshop , price 25p; unfortunately, this will be the last issue for
some time. Due to the present economic situation, the Editorial
B o a r d has decided to suspend publication until further notice.
New Titles
Nuclear Illusion & Reality-Solly Zuckerman, Col l ins £4.95
Master Sn iper -Stephen Hunter , Pan £1.50
D u p e - L i z a C o d y , Pan £1.25
f?e/ /ex-Dick Francis , Pan £1.50
O p t i o n s - F r e d a Bright, Pan £1.50
L i o n of Comarre & Against the Fall of Night-Arthur C. Clarke,
Pan El.50
Alice Fell-Emma Tennant, Picador £1.95
Woman in W/hife-Wilkie Col l ins , Pan £1.95
Psychoanalysis, the Impossible Profession-Janet M a l c o l m , Pica
dor £1.95
Managing with Computers-Terry Rowan, Pan £2.50
Jogging from M e m o r y - R o b B u c k m a n , Pan £1.25
Paupers P a r i s - M i l e s Turner , Pan £1.95
Just off for the Weekend-John Slater, Pan £2.50
Five U p - L a d d i e Lucas , Sidgwick, £7.95 (Signed by author.)
Bookshop Window
Drawing equipment from C a n n o n & U r i n .
Comput ing books from John Wiley.
I C O N from you know who.
I wonder if you illustrious editor could put a name to the model
on the front of Rob Buckman's book?
C i ty Limits is now on sale at the Bookshop.
Snooker
In the on ly m a t c h p l a y e d last
week, the A team beat the C team
4-1. Notable performances came
f r o m H u r f o r d , w h o c r u s h e d a
slightly subdued Gaski l l to gain
the on ly C t eam v i c t o r y , a n d
White , who brought M r Holt down
to earth after his surprise, but
well-earned, victory over Jennings
in the O p e n . C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s ,
hugs and kisses must also go to
super cool Algy, who took out B
team star Wright in the same
competition.
P S , S T O P P R E S S , etc .—watch
out for details of social event of
the y e a r — the S n o o k e r C l u b
outing, comeing soon.
CND
STOIC
Sex
Depressed? Tense nervous headaches? Soothe away your aches and
pains with S T O I C (the most fun you can have with your clothes on)
Be amazed by the fabulous array of stars.
Be thrilled by the mind-bogglingly scintillating special effects.
Be shocked by the depth-investigative journalism.
TifiZ/arion
Here 's some questions the everyday student about College asks about
S T O I C .
O r g y
Q : What has a network of ten television sets and is expanding? (Clue: not
IC Radio).
Q: Does S T O I C Really have a Quantel Special Effects Generator costing
millions of pounds?
Q : Has S T O I C overspent on its budget?
Q : What is S T O I C ? Incest
If you are remotely interested in the answers to the above or you know
how to switch on a television, S T O I C needs your technical expertise.
(Perhaps you only want to interview your favourite sex symbol.)
Carnal Pleasure
Whatever your interest in television, why no: come along to the T V
Studio (Elec Eng) at any time and meet some sincere, friendly people.
(See our illustrious C h a i r m a n , Lawrence, as well.)
H o w are we going to disarm?
T h r o u g h the p r o c e s s of o u r
Parliamentary democracy? If this
is to be the case it can only occur
through a change of government.
C o m e a l o n g to M a t h s 213 at
1:00pm on Thursday, February
18, and listen to Frank A l laun , M P
outline the Labour Party's case.
They have made many promising
s t a t e m e n t s , b u t w o u l d t h e y
produce the goods if they got into
power?—Remember which gov
ernment authorised the upgrading
of P o l a r i s i n t h e C h e v a l i n e
programme.
For your information on Satur
day, February 13, IC is playing
host to a 'Professions against the
B o m b " c o n f e r e n c e ( m e d i c s ,
journalists, scientists, that sort of
thing). It's interesting to think that
m a n y peop le a t t a c k C N D for
b e i n g g e n e r a l l y l e f t - w i n g a n d
idealist, yet much of our strongest
support comes from some of the
m o s t " r e s p e c t a b l e " g r o u p s in
society.
Scout
and Guide
Last Thursday 's regular lunchtime
m e e t i n g i n c l u d e d a t a l k o n
cl imbing in the A l p s . O u r fort
n i g h t l y w e e k e n d t r i p w a s to
S n o w d o n i a last w e e k e n d . W e
stayed in a comfortable hut in the
O g y w n Valley and went climbing
o n T r y f a r a n d w a l k i n g on the
G l y d e r s o n S a t u r d a y . B e t t e r
weather on Sunday encouraged ail
of us to go for a n i n t e r e s t i n g
traverse of the C a r n e d d group of
p e a k s . F i n e w e a t h e r g a v e us
b r e a t h t a k i n g v i e w s of most of
Snowdonia . After a meal at the
hut we returned to College.
Yesterday 's meeting was a trip
up the Queen 's Tower to yet
a n o t h e r i n t e r e s t i n g v i e w of
London 's skyline. Next week's
regular meeting will be a talk on
Photography by an expert from
the R C A , in Mines 303 at 12:30pm.
T h e n e x t w e e k e n d t r i p is o n
February 19 to 21 and is a service
pro j e c t at the N a ' i n a l S c o u t
b o a t i n g c e n t r e i n '. i a r l o w - o n -
Thames.
For further details of all events
see us at "But t i e s " in the South
side Upper Lounge above the bar
every lunchtime.
Soc Soc
O n Tuesday, February 16, there
will be representatives present
f r o m ' W o m e n f o r L i f e ' a n d
Women 's Vo i ce speaking on the
subject of abortion. The discussion
w i l l t a k e p l a c e i n the G r e e n
Committee R o o m at the top of the
U n i o n Building at 6:30pm. A l l are
welcome.
Secondly this term's 'Radical ' is
u n d e r p r e p a r a t i o n (Soc S o c ' s
newspaper). If you feel the urge to
write something on any aspect of
socialism (related to IC or just
socialism in general), send it to Ian
House , Life Sc i 1.
Finally, don't forget our book
store in the J C R , Friday lunch-
times. We 're always ready for an
argument, so see you there.
Wing Chun
N o doubt if you've been reading
our previous articles in F E L I X
you'll be well aware of the history
and traditions of W i n g C h u n , so I
won't bore you all again. Instead
I'll try to give you a small idea
about the non-physical side of the
art.
W i n g C h u n places great em
phasis on the training of the mind
for without the right attitude one
c a n n o t t r a i n t h e b o d y . T h e
student is encouraged to find his
o w n w a y t h r o u g h the a r t , to
question and criticize techniques
before he accepts them, until he
feels confident that the techniques
will help him when the need arises.
The instructor's job is to guide the
s t u d e n t t h r o u g h the v a r i o u s
stages, to help him realize his
m i s t a k e s a n d h o w t o c o r r e c t
them. Hence training is carried
out in a r e l a x e d a t m o s p h e r e
a l l o w i n g the s t u d e n t to t h i n k
a b o u t t e c h n i q u e s i n s t e a d of
blindly accepting them.
In writing this article I can only
give you a small idea about W i n g
C h u n , so if you would like to know
more, don't by shy, we are always
glad to have new members and
before I forget: we meet in the
Union G y m on Wednesday after
noons, 3:00pm and on Saturday
mornings at 9:30am.
FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 9
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City & Guilds
Tonight , Feb 12: D & D sold out. M o t o r C l u b Navigational Rally.
Sunday , F e b 14: Rugby Sevens. Coaches leave 9:30 Beit A r c h .
Tuesday , F e b 16: Fie ld C u p ! (SeeGuildsheet)
Thursday , Feb 18: S P T L E c t u r e , D . J . H u n t
( A W R E Aldermaston) " T h e Design of High
Power L a z e r s " , 1:00pm, Elec Eng 408.
Fr iday , F e b 19: L i n k s Carniva l . T ickets
£2.50 f r o m G u i l d s U n i o n O f f i c e . A e r o s o c
A n n u a l D i n n e r . B r i s t o l P e d a l C a r R a c e
(contact T i m Bell v ia C & G Office).
F o o t b a l l
IC I
IC II
IC III .
ic: IY ,
i t : v
IC VII *
R u g b y
IC I x IC II s
H o c k e y IC I \
Ladies \
Wednesday, F e b r u a r y 3
s R C A
s I ' C II
s Q M C II
s Guvs II
* Q M C III
i R S M II
Jezebe l is going to Cologne on Friday,
February 19, a n d for about £30 you can go too.
N a m e s to D u n c a n Batty, C h e m 2, please, for a
trip to the carnivals and beer festivals of
Co logne . Trave l will be by coach and fire
engine.
I a m looking for suggestions of destinations
of the next Rag M a g trip, and also of clues for
the G u i l d s m e n , so see me. Soccer Sixes are on
Sunday , Valentine's Day , and the winning
team each get a big kiss from Dave.
O n M o n d a y we are going to see Barry
H u m p h r i e s , so ask your soc rep if there are
any places left.
Finally, elections are on the way, so get your
names up if you are interested. Wednesday's
Broadsheet for details.
I ' C H C L P
Si Thomas (Cup)
Q M C
5-2(H) 1- 0(H)
2- 2(A)
3- 2(A) (i-0(A) 2- 4(H)
25-8(A)
29-0(A)
3- 4(H)
4- 1(A)
Saturday , F e b r u a r y 6
F o o t b a l l ( t ' L Cup Semi-Finals)
IC I vs Q M C I 2 -0(N)
IC II vs L C II 2 -0(N)
Hockey
IC I vs Hendon
IC II vs M i l l Hi l l 0-4(A)
0-0(H)
H . G . W e l l s S o c i e t y
Sports Day T h i s y e a r s mega event is to be held on
Wednesday. A p r i l 28 at M o t s p u r Park .
Events are open to a l l s t u d e n t s and s t a f f
of Imper ia l Col lege , with m e d a l s for a l l
events, t r o p h i e s for indiv iduals and b e e r
prizes.
E n t r v forms avai lab le from February 23
from I C U Office a n d C C U s .
E v e n t s i n c l u d e : 1 0 0 m . 2 0 0 m . 4 0 0 m .
hurdles. 2000m steeplechase (men) and held
events such as shot, javel in, high jump and
long jump. Coaches w i l l he provided for
travel to and from M o t s p u r Park. W a t c h the
sports page lor further details.
including demonstration
MARTINS. TAYLOR Monday
15th, February 7:30pm
Mech Eng 220
Football Thirds T h e T h i r d s feasted on the visual delights of
the gorgeous ladies' hockey team for almost
two hours! T h i s aesthetic dispaly inspired us
to decide that only ten men were needed to
s t i t c h u p s e c o n d - p l a c e d Q M C I I . T h i s
s t r a t e g y w o r k e d w e l l w i t h D a v e H a r d y
smashing an early goal into the roof of their
n e t , a n d as w e c o n t i n u e d t o a t t a c k
purposefully he twice nearly scored again .
T h e g a m e was b e c o m i n g a s t r o l l so we
decided Dave w o u l d have to be taken off. A
Q M C defender duly obl iged w i t h a tackle
from behind saving us the bother. E v e n w i t h
nine men the match was too one-sided so K e v
T e a h a n was given the easiest of tap-ins past
D u n c a n B r o w n ( t h e i r f o r w a r d s b e i n g
incapable of scoring). N e i l R e d m a y n e then
smashed the most delicate of through balls
past their hopelessly split defence, a l l o w i n g
N i c k F l a n n a g a n to take the bal l in his stride
and score wi th a searing left-footer from wel l
outside the box. In the true spirit of I C fair
p lay we a l lowed Q M C to equalise w i t h the
llukiest of headers—after a l l it would have
been terr ibly rude lo beat our hosts wi th only
n i n e m e n .
T e a m : D. Broun, (',. Herns, , V. Redmayne, M.
Powell, A'. Teahan, D. Hardy* M. Higham, S.
Lister, 1. Archer, .V. Flanagan.
Bowling O n Wednesday, February 3, two a n d a hal l
teams set o i l for Southampton B o w l to play
the last league of the Southern Div i s i on . After
a few mishaps we arr ived l ive minutes late.
Unfor tunate ly without a ladies team we
lost that game before we started. T h e C team
lost their game 3-1. In the first frame they
w e r e b e a t e n by o v e r 100 p i n s , b u t lost
narrowly in the second frame by only 20 pins.
T h e star of the team a n d of the day was J e l l '
Q u i n n w h o got three 169 scores to give h i m
his first 500+ series the hard way.
T h e B team lost 4-0 a n d in one game got a
l o w e r score t h a n the C t e a m . T h i s was
generally d i sappo int ing as we thought they
might do wel l w i t h some promis ing new
players. T h e A team through good teamwork
won 3-1 and only lost their last game by
about 20 pins.
ft Hockey Firsts
I Imper ia l made a somewhat tentative start
against a full strength St T h o m a s ' team.
Af ter twenty minutes T o m m i e s caught the I C
de fence a d m i r i n g I a n D r i v e r s t h i g h s by
convert ing a free hit from the top of the D .
W i t h thoughts of last year's close match , I C
were soon another goal behind. T h e Imper ia l
defence h u n g on a n d w i t h a minute r e m a i n
ing Bel l a n d ( /arms tangled wel l on the
break a n d G a r m s d r i l l e d the b a l l home
from the widest of angles. T h u s a shocked
I m p e r i a l s ide went i n t o the s e c ond h a l l
p u t t i n g he o p p o s i t i o n u n d e r r e m a r k a b l e
p r e s s u r e . T h e n a n e n t i r e l y u n p r o v o k e d
incident between F r a n k l i n and the centre
forward saw the latter receiving a yel low card
a n d w i t h i n a minute Imper ia l were 1-3 down.
W i t h St Thomas a n d Imper ia l both t h i n k i n g
the game was over, Bateson proceeded to
score 2 spectacular goals. St T h o m a s pressed
hard for the remainder of the second half but
the defence coped wel l w i th Drivers six iron
c l i p shots and R . Dodds runs.
T h e first half of extra time saw St T h o m a s
cont inu ing where they left oi l w i th both R i l e y
a n d in the second half, Coatesworth m a k i n g
stops on the line. But wi th five minutes
remain ing , just as R i l e y was ponder ing on
the technicalities ol p - l l i ck taking , St T h o m a s
scored.
T e a m : Slatter, Coatesworth, Riley, Parker,
Ay res, Rao, Franklin, Bateson, Garms, Bell
Cray.
Ladies
C o n t i n u i n g o u r t r e m e n d o u s f o r m we
completed our th i rd successive ann ih i la t i on
of the season. T h i s week our unfortunate
o p p o n e n t s were Q M C w h o w e r e e i t h e r
completely useless or s imply stunned by our
ski l l .
T h e fact that we only had nine players a n d
no goalie d i d little to deter us a n d good
( lowing play throughout the team produced
some excellent chances. W e could have had
at least a dozen a n d probably w o u l d have
done but for some fine saves from their
goalie and some slightly o i l target shooting
f r o m us ( p a r t i c u l a r l y the h a l v e s ) . O n e
u n c h a r a c t e r i s t i c l a x m o m e n t f r o m the
Page 10 FELIX, February 12, 1982
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(Irlcnic allnvvd thril l In snr;ik one Imrk E)llt
(till t - l V K I M I S w;is well I Irsn y c l I.
Ic i irn: A'/////, 'jitli<\ \ l i h i n i i \ Sato, (-aiuline,
Mli.wtu ~j<> (IK h'tiren (I), Mary (2). © W a f e r Polo Q Sailing
Rugby Seconds W i t h o u t collapsible captain Sieve Hell , the
2nd X V was once again up lo lul l strength,
a n d a l t e r the u s u a l t e d i o u s t r a n s p o r t
problems, arr ived al the C i t y of L o n d o n
P o y t e c h n i c s g r o u n d s o m e w h e r e n e a r
Istanbul.
Sk i l fu l contortions in a ( h a n g i n g room
only just b ig enough to hold G a r y Pike's
attache case enabled the kick off to take place-
j u s t b e f o r e s u n s e t , a n d the t e a m s o o n
managed to gain its sea legs on a pitch that
was about as smooth as M a t t Smith ' s skin.
T h e f irst h a l f d o w n h i l l w i t h the t ide
showed the usual mixture of the average,
above average and p la in r idiculous, but we
scored a few and they d idn ' t so there!
T h e half -t ime pep talk lacked Hel l - l ike
cursing but Perv 's leg-zi l equal led E r i k a R o e
entertainment standards.
Despite cont inued hal l h a n d l i n g problems
(no. not that sort) and the ever increasing
gradient, the second hal f saw more tries IC ' s
way, more agony G a r y ' s way, more punches
Steve K i r b y ' s way a n d more desperate cries
of "pass i t ! " M i l e s Thompson ' s way, leaving
the final score at 29-0. Points were scored by
O w e n ( N o d d y , t h e s m a l l e s t p o s e r i n
Toytown) , M i l e s (2 tries). N i c B r u m m e l l (2
tries) and M a r k " D e a d E y e " H u d s o n (1 try.
1 penalty, 2 conversions).
A n d now for the report on the tube journey
home ( c o n t i n u e d , M e t r o p o l i t a n Pol ice
Records) .
T e a m : M. Thompson, O. Miles, X. Brummell,
G. Pike, M. Winsor, M. Simmons, A. Chalklen,
C. Cole, S.Kirhy, T. Carr, J. Cotton, E.
O'Connor, A. Ralph, M. Hudson. M. Smith.
Football Seconds I see too, you see n i l .
W h a t they said:
S t e v e V : I ' m q u i t e p l e a s e d w i t h m y
progress.
J o h n : D o we gerra tea?
J i m : N o w come on chaps, let's really get
stuck in .
C a p t a i n R o n a l d W i l l i a m Wiggins (rtd):
A v gorra go ta L i v e r p o o l , wack.
M a r t i n A : mumboawnoref i twasntmeionly
k i cked im jumbo.
D y c k v a n d e r V e e n m a n : W e c a n be
H o l l a n d in these nice orange shirts.
R . Paisley ( L / p o o l Manager ) : It's easier to
w i n the E u r o p e a n C u p than combat football
like that ( L / p o o l v Barnsley 1982).
K . Wolstcnholmc : There are people on the
p i tch ! T h e y think it's a l l over! It is now!
(1966 W o r l d C u p Final )
W h e n F langangan came on and scored it
was a dream. T h e n H r a t l n a d striked and U C
was deed and bure id . (The Sun)
Team: I 'eats. Burns, Curran, Beer, Griffiths,
Armstrong, Saunders, Wiggins, Rimmer, Hart land
(I), Veenman (sub Tlannagan (1), Linesman:
Chown (1).
R i m m e r : It's Q M C III in the l i n a l .
I C W a t e r Po lo C l u b coasted to an easy win
against St M a r y ' s H o s p i t a l i n their second
L o n d o n Univers i ty League game.
M o s t of our effort went into the first two
quarters, when some aggressive play from
C a s i n i (3 goals) and Hef fernan (1 goal), and
some good saves by Burnett in goal , gave us a
c o m m a n d i n g lead. T h e last two quarters saw
some mindless play, notably from Last a n d
L e a c h , who each missed easy goals, a n d from
Burnett , who watched in fascination as a shot
from the hal f -way l ine sailed past h i m into
the back of the net. H o w e v e r , a goal from
A s h w i n in the last quarter took us to a
respectable 5-1 result.
T e a m : Ashwin (CaptJ. Burnett (Keeper),
Casini, Dibden, Edwards. Gartun, Heffernan,
Last, Leach, Rodgers.
Rowing B i l l Bradbury , our sculler, managed to walk
a w a y w i t h the S e n i o r C P l a g u e c o m i n g
second overall in the scul l ing compet i t ion .
T h e Novice V I I I beat plenty ol impressive
opposition losing only to a crew that had
been rowing for at least a year longer.
The W o m e n s I V d e c i m a t e d a l l the
opposit ion that the country could offer and
managed to beat a l l the double sculls as wel l .
T h e senior C magic I V was robbed of
certain v ictory , despite a new go-faster coat
of paint, when it had its rudder r ipped out by
a submerged rock at the start.
Q u i t e a successful day in high cross winds
and sunshine.
Senior C I V : .1. Haines, V. Wtitkins. J.
Goodall, P. McDowall Hook. Cox: Sue Bowen.
\\ omens I V : '/. Park, 1). turner. A. Ball, J.
Dickson. Cox: D. Harrell.
.\nviie V I I I : A'. Ana, P. Mc.Yamara, I. I.aniplough.
I', (iamhin, I). Cliinltr. M. li/iperlain, A. Bmhingci.
ft. I.mm. (.n\: C. Scott.
Volleyball H a v i n g defeated T o t t e n h a m earlier in the
season the I C team made their way to N o r t h
L o n d o n confident of w i n n i n g this v i ta l top of
the table clash. Not even the brick which
came Hying through the window was going to
stop them. So despite hav ing a previously
untr ied penetration system, I C built up a
w i n n i n g lead in the first set only to f inal ly let
it slip 13-15. As a result it was decided to
simplify things a little which resulted in
Imper ia l rav ing away to take the set 15-4.
T h e th ird set proved to be a real cliff-hanger*
but IC h u n g on to take it 15-12, and wi th it
Tot tenham's hopes of w i n n i n g as after this
the T o t t e n h a m team just c rumbled leaving
Imper ia l to take the final set 15-4. I C ' s
victory over their nearest rivals was very well
d e s e r v e d c o n s i d e r i n g it was a c h i e v e d i n
difficult conditions (the back of the court was
only a couple of inches from the gym w a l l
w h i c h m a d e s e r v i n g i n p a r t i c u l a r v e r y
difficult for players not used to such c r a m p e d
conditions) and now gives them an excellent
chance of w i n n i n g the league.
T e a m : Peter I I . , Andy, Peter R., Man, Peter
D-L, Paul.
H i there readers! Incredib ly the team got it
together this week a n d won. Shock! H o r r o r !
( O u r shock, their horror ! ) . It's a m a z i n g how
m u c h faster ' an d dr ier , i l can be if you keep
the boat the right way up 'have to try it more
often, eh. G r ah am, , ! W e d idn ' t even break
a n y b o a t s w h i c h w a s no m i n o r feet
considering last week's orgy of destruction.
In the first race G r a h a m a n d R i c h a r d
m ^ p an excellent start from a heavi ly port
biased l ine and lead posed, a l l the way
round. T w o enemy boats, under pressure
from Pat and M i k e , co l l ided at the w i n d w a r d
mark and one of these capsized five minutes
later r o u n d i n g the w i n g mark. Ju l ian and
J i m showed great potential in a dra<*n out
rearguard action against the last Surrey boat.
^"he second race started w i t h Surrey 's
capta in watch ing from a grandstand seat on
his upturned boat. H e had opted for a L c
M a n s s tart b u t , at the c r u c i a l m o m e n t ,
discovered that his w a l k i n g on water act
needed a little more practise. K e n n e d y and
M i l l s had a great time lay ing into one of the
opposition's boats, and knocked it d o w n lo
t h i r d . M e a n w h i l e J u l i a n a n d J i m h a d
rejoined battle w i t h ' C r u s h e d C a n a r y ' and
finished their own vendetta on top.
W e finished 1, 2; 4 i n both races to w i n I he
match 2-0 (137,pts-30pts) .
T e a m : G. Kennedy and R. Tostavin, P. Mill-,
and M. Younghusband, J. Bennett and J. Redman.
ft Hockey Seconds " W h a t do you make of it H o l m e s ? "
"D i f f i cu l t to say old chap, a l l those lads
hang ing that white th ing about, they must be
m a k i n g themselves rather t i r e d . "
" F a s c i n a t i n g . I really don't know how you
do it Holmes . Some sort of punishment do
you t h i n k ? "
" A distinct possibility Watson , that young
lady on the sideline is certainly screaming
quite a lot. In fact, I would go as far as to say
that we have a dour m i d l i e l d struggle on our
hands here . "
^ 'Absolutely amazing . A n y t h i n g we can do
about i t ? "
" I ' m a f r a i d not, a l t h o u g h that S i m o n
W i t t e r chappie is p lay ing very we l l , he may
be able to do something . "
" H o w right you are Holmes . T e l l me, do
those chaps in between the white posts ever
join in.'' They look d a m n cold to me . "
'•"Occasionally Watson , see one o f them is
br ing ing up the half-t ime refreshments, in a
|i couple of minutes they ' l l start a g a i n . "
" M a r v e l l o u s Holmes. D o you think we ' l l
see any improvement? "
" I wou ld very m u c h doubt it, a l though
that S i m o n G r a y is o b v i o u s l y t r y i n g to
change the game to fisticuffs."
? "Wonder fu l Holmes , anyth ing to relieve
the boredom. "
" I say Watson , I do believe I 've discovered
a cure for i n s o m n i a ! "
T e a m : C. 'Jones, C. Bird, P. Sharpe. M.
Pilkelhley, J. Rhodes. A. Slnomer, S. Gray, S.
Witter, . V. Farmer; G. Wylie, B. Shindlei. I'mpire
Rohyn Ming/in.
FELIX, February 12, 1982 Page 11
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Accommodation for next year
Technical problems have once more reared
their ugly head, but 1 think that F E L I X should
have reached you on time.
However , this week an eight page supplement
o n C o l l e g e a c c o m m o d a t i o n w h i c h w a s to
have been included has had to be dropped
until next week. A l l the artwork is ready and
waiting, but because the offset-litho machine
broke down on Wednesday there has just not
been time to print it.
This supplement will be included next week
and (for those really keen to find out about
Hal ls , Houses , etc., for next year) some copies
will be available in the Student Services Offices
from Tuesday onwards.
Welfare Week
I hope you all turn up to the events organised
for next week (see centre pages). I'm glad N i c k
Pyne , I C U Welfare Officer, has chosen a fairly
light hearted approach (just read some of the
articles!) and I think Welfare Week could be
very entertaining as well as informative.
M i n d you I'm getting a bit tired of all these
"weeks" . I think people who organise events
should try to avoid packaging a few random
l e c t u r e s t o g e t h e r a n d l a b e l l i n g t h e m
S i l l y t w a t s w h o g e t r i g h t u p m y n o s e W e e k or
whatever. The only effect of doing so is to
draw attention away from their o w n and other
(possibly more general and important) causes
like student welfare.
Credits
A special thank you to Sid Stevens of Mistra l
Print for his technical advice.
Further accolades for my regular crew:
Steve, Soheel , Ramz i , Carol ine , Peter, M a r t i n
S. , Pallab, Lesley, J o n , J e z , M o and all the
collators, M a z and Ian.
If you are reading this on Fr iday morning
there is a good chance that most of the above
people stayed up until very late this morning to
get it to you.
Finally a thank-you to N i c k Pyne for helping
so m u c h on his welfare spread and to Er ic
Jarvis for pasting up the College A c c o m m o d a
t i on G u i d e ( w h i c h u n f o r t u n a t e l y w i l l not
appear until next week).
•
Saturday, February 13
•Cross Country club—Southern Counties Cham
pionships at Parliament Hill Fields. Note: important
event.
Sunday, February 14
•Chaplaincy communion service, 10:00am, Consort
Gallery.
•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.
Monday, February 15
• H a n g - g l i d i n g c lub meet ing , 12:30pm, above
Southside Bar.
•Badgesoc meeting, 12:45pm, lounge above Southside
Bar.
• T M soc meeting, 5:30pm, Huxley 411. All meditators
welcome. ....
•Railsoc talk by Mr Prigmore on 'Tramcar Technology
of Yesteryear', 5:40pm, Maths 340. All welcome.
•Wellsoc proudly present by popular demand, the
return of Wellsoc hypnotist, Martin S. Taylor, 7:30pm,
ME220. Entry by membership.
•Dancing club advanced class, 7:39pm, JCR.
Tuesday, February 16
• Boardsai l ing club meeting, 12:30 and 6:15pm,
Southside Upper Lounge.
•Catholic mass and lunch, 12:30pm, Chem 231.
Nominal charge for lunch.
•Labour club meeting, 1:00pm, Elec Eng 1207.
• S T O I C broadcast , 1:00pm, J C R , Southside T V
Lounge, Souths ide , Beit, L instead and Weeks
Halls. A review of plays in London: On the Razzle,
Can't Pay Won't Pay, Anyone for Dennis, Pass the
Butler, Arms and the Man, followed by Top Ten record
charts.
•Mopsoc lecture 'How real is the de brogle wave' by dr
L. Mackinnon from the University of Essex, 1:10pm,
Physics LT2 (level 1). Free to members, non-members
lOp (membership 60p).
•Department of Humanities presents:
1. Films: The Private Life of the Fox; The Private Life of
the Cuckoo, 1:15pm, Read Theatre, Sherfield.
2. The Origins of Astronomy
Pt 1: Babylonian and Egyptian Astronomy, 1:30pm, Dr
M.A. Hoskin, Churchill College, Cambridge, 1:30pm,
Pippard Theatre, Sherfield. Arranged by IC Hellenic
Society.
•IC Amnesty group meeting, 5:30pm, Green Comm'
Rm (top floor. Union Building).
•Wine-tasting society tasting a selection of wines from
Alsace, 6:00pm, Union SCR.
• M e t & M a t s o c i e t y e v e n i n g l e c t u r e 'The
Development of the Loudspeaker' byMrR.E. Cooke(KEF
Electronics Ltd), 6:00pm, RSM G20.
•Socia l is t society meeting: debate on abortion
between Women for Life and National Abortion
Campaign, 6:30pm, Green Comm Rm.
•Astrosoc lecture, Dr Enge! speaking on 'Astronomy
from High Altitude Balloons', 6:30pm, Physics LT2. Free
to members.
•Deputy President of the Union, Barney McCabe,
will expalin the mysteries of Intel's Analogue processing
chip (the 8022), 7:00pm, Huxley LT 145. Organised by IC
Micro Club.
Wednesday, February 17
•Wargames club meeting, 1:00pm, Union SCR.
•Astrosoc observing meeting, 3:30pm, 'Waveguide',
Physics Building (level 1).
•J£ trampoline society meeting, 5:30pm, Courtauld
"H&TI, Q E C , Campden Hill Rd.
•Environmental society presents Lord Melchett and
an N F U representative discussing 'Countryside
Conservation: Conflict or Co-operation', 6:00pm, 213
Huxley. To be followed by wine and cheese reception in
48 Princes Gardens. Members 50p, non-members £1.
•Dancing club intermediate class, 7:30pm, JCR.
Thursday, February 18
•Postgraduate group ploughman's lunch, 12:30pm,
Union Concert Hall, £1.00. Tickets availble from Union
Office.
•Scout & Guide club photography talk, 12:30pm,
Mines 303. Regular Thursday meeting.
•Christian Science group meeting, 1:00pm, Seminar
Room, Level 2S, Botany.
•Lecture on High Power Lasers, 1:00pm, EE508.
Free.
• S T O I C Newsbreak, 1:00 and 6:00pm. usual places,
see Tuesday.
• I C C N D presents Frank Allaun MP 'The Labour Party
and Disarmament', 1:00pm, Maths 213.
•Department of Humanities presents:
1. Film: The World at War (Thames TV)
Pt 15: The Reckoning, 1:15pm, Great Hall.
2. Lunch-hour Concert
Erika Klemperer (violin) and Alan Porter (piano),
1:30pm, Music Room, 53 Princes Gate.
•Gliding club meeting, 5:30pm, Aero 254.
•IC Christian Union A G M , 6:30pm, Huxley 340. It is
vital that all members attend for the meeting to be valid.
Wodge was invited to a wine and cheese party
in the maths faculty last week, which was
attended by the usual mixture of pure and
applied mathematicians. For those who are
new to this co lumn, I should point out that pure
mathematicians are perfectly truthful, whereas
app l i ed mathemat i c ians invar iably l ie, and
Wodge amused himself by letting each of the
ten people present make one statement about
the o t h e r s , a n d t h e n w o r k i n g o u t w h o
belonged to which department.
L e n was the first to talk to Wodge. "If the
head of department is appl ied , " he said " then
Michae l is pure, but N i c k is appl ied." " O n the
o t h e r h a n d , " p u t i n O l i v e r , " t h e h e a d of
department is pure if and only if Peter is
applied and Quent in is pure . " " D i d I hear you
mention Peter?" asked Richard . "If he and I are
both applied then Michae l isn't, but if either of
us isn't, then he i s . " "If you want to know
about M i c h a e l , I'd have a few words with
S tephen , " said N i c k . " Y o u can believe at least
one of t h e m . " " D i d I h e a r y o u m e n t i o n
Stephen?" asked Quent in . " H e ' s friendly with
L e n and Oliver , and at least one of the three is
appl ied . " " H o w can you mistrust Ol iver? "
exclaimed Michael . " H e ' s as truthful as I a m ! "
"If I'm a pure mathematic ian," said Tony ,
" t h e n S t e p h e n , L e n a n d t h e h e a d o f
department are not all appl ied."
" H a v i n g trouble?" asked Peter helpfully. "If
in doubt , guess pure, since over half of us are
truthful . " " O n the contrary , " said Stephen.
" O v e r half of us are untruthful."
Having elicited one statement each from nine
of the ten present, Wodge went over to talk to
the head of the department. Unfortunately
he was rather the worse for wine, and Wodge
couldn't get anything coherent out of him at
all . N o t that it mattered, of course, since he
had already deduced that who is what?
Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the
FELIX Office please. There is a prize of £5
(donated by Mend-a-Bike) for the correct
solution randomly selected at 1:00pm on
Wednesday.
Last Week's Solution
Seven triangles or six neighbours, according to
taste. There must be a line from the obtuse
angle, dividing it into two. A n d the line cannot
continue straight through to the long side, or
else another obtuse-angled triangle is formed,
and you have to start again. S o there must be
an internal node, and there must be at least
five lines leading from it, or else one of them
must be greater than or equal to a right angle.
C h r i s Brannick , Maths 1, was selected from
the eleven who got it right.
T w o w e e k s a g o y o u c l a m o u r e d f o r
something difficult; see what you make of this
week's. G o o d luck!
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince
Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX 1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Giblin.