E N’G I N E W S UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO WEDNESDAY, 8 JANUARY 1964

ENGINEERING ‘BUILDING

High School for the Underpriveleged, we found ourselves staring at

Once upon a time when we were all young, immature, naive Engineering students, fresh from the hallowed halls of Secondary

a mammonth construction site which soon became the Engineering Building. Now we are all fat, balding, mature, sweaty, drunken En- gineering students who know no more about our building than we did then. This is the story of how the Engineering Building came to be.

Douglas Right lay writhing in his bed sheets. He had had a dream. An Engineering Building where no one could find a damn thing. He jumped from his bed and ran a-Shore to see an architect. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to put on his pants and so he design- ed the building himself with his little slide rule to help him. -

STAGS m m m

eering weekends and mud. These functions have probably been some of the most successful events ever-to hit the place and probably always

Stags, more formally termed, Tech- nical Sessions, have become as much

will be.

of a tradition around here as Engin- ’

“The building is finished,” said one,

“Yup, I think she’s finished,” said another.

“I definitely have to agree with you,” said the foreman. “We’re all through building the Building.”

Soon the band of trusty constructioners began to start the build- ing and when they had finished, they were through.

- BRIDGE - Last week, the University of Wat- of their hands won the tourney quite

xloo bridge team took on a team handily. The president of the U of W kom the University of London, Eng- Bridge Club declared, shortly after and. The Waterloo team, through his victory, that, in his opinion, Lon- :lever bidding and accurate playing don bridge is falling down.

LIKE A J I I I q n q

- poor hours

- no pay

- guaranteed ulcers - impossible working conditions

- a helluvah good time

come to ZEbe @Lorpptjaeus’ staff meeting tomorrow (Thursday) at 500 p.m. in the newspaper office (Annex 1).

.cp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~~~~ . . . * .~ . .~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . L%<s ‘8. ~..~... . . . . . . . . . . .~...~.~.~~ .< . . . . . . / . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . ---- . -z .%v.V. A*.+.*.*.-.*.*.*.-.*.*.‘.*.*.*.*.*. I . . . . . . . . . . . . a.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .%,.Av...~..a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Paid advertisement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,.%V.V.V. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..I..................... . d@g$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..a................

The first organized school stag was back in 1959 and frankly it was so long ago I don’t remember much about it. Come to think of it I didn’t remember much about it the day af- ter.

The 2nd Annual Technical Session was, I recall, a wild, wild one. Dur- ing the evening someone (I think it was Prof. Ed. Bounsall) discovered that the coefficient of friction be- tween mashed salami and terazzo was remarkably low. The result - a bee- you-to-ful 50 foot long area to prac- tice skiing. Apparently the landlord didn’t approve and warned if the slide for life didn’t stop he’d phone the local constabulary. Some bright young Engineering student, not to have his fun thwarted, sneaked out- side and neatly snipped the telephone wires - so ended Tech. session No. 2.

The third, and perhaps the best, was held at the Bridgeport Casino. Due to the popularity of boat races at past affairs, the Class of ‘64 de- cided to organize the event. So came the inauguration of the official Class of ‘64 boat race trophy. A cov- eted prize indicative of supremacy in the fine art of beer drinking. The outcome of the race that year, was the Class of 66 won (beating class of ‘64 by 4/10 of a second) by downing ten beers in 3 7.0 seconds.

The only casualty of the evening was a fellow fondly called ‘Schmidty’ (the proprietor). When he decided to ban the showing of nature films at his place, he drew from his clients several resounding choruses of “The Landlord is a Jolly Good Fellow” and a few rounds of glass projectiles.

Looking back, the stag must have been a success as Schmidty claimed $140.00 for property damages.

The most recent stag - Technical Session No. 4, again witnessed the ever popular boat race. The Class of 64 undaunted by the previous years defeat proved beyond doubt that they were indeed the champions of the boat race. Putting away 10 beers in record time of 3 1.4 seconds they easily beat all competition. The en-

“Yes sir, we started her and now she’s all built,” said some clod, probably a Civil Engineer.

“Oh, my God, what have they done?” someone whispered.

“What hath God Rot?” said Doctor Hagey.

It was the Engineering building! (Please no fanfare necessary.)

Then, everyone left and left the Building as you see it today, with perfectly symmetrical features.

Last week, however, Doctor Hagey discovered something strange. His Rotary pin was missing! Horror of horrors!

“We’ll get it for you,” said one enterprising lad. Then, he and his friends began taking the Building apart, a very easy thing to do if you know how. Piece by piece, (secretary by secretary), bit by bit, they took it apart until it was in the stage you see it in the picture. But they couldn’t find the pin.

Douglas Right turned over in his bed. He was having another nightmare.

sueing sing song, card parties and roar from the direction of the Grand crap games brought to close the last River Golf Club, don’t be concerned. Engineering Stag. The Engineers Class of ‘64 are hav-

Incidentally this Wednesday, Janu- ing their last stag while at this school ary 8th, if you should hear a muffled and believe me it should be a dandy!

OPPORTUNITIES FOR GRADUATES

Allied Chemical Canada, Ltd., an expanding multiplant organization with diversified manufacturing interests in chemicals, building ma- terials and other lines has opportunities for the following:

,Chemistry Graduates in Honours and General Science

For positions in manufacturing, laboratory and sales.

Chemical, Civi I and For positions in manufacturing, Mechanical Engineers engineering and maintenance,

industrial engineering and sales. Allied Chemical Canada, Ltd.., has 14 plants across Canada located at or adjacent to large populatron areas. Company representative will be at the University on Wednesday, January 29th. Please enquire at the Department of Co-ordination and Placement.

ALLIED CHEMICAL CANADA, LTD.

Subsidiary Companies: The Barrett Company, Limited, Brunner Mend Canada, Ltd., The Nichols Chemical Company, Limrted, The Smrth Manufacturing Limited, National Aniline & Chemical Company, Limrt- ed, Coke Oven Company of Canada, Limited.

I keep my finances in good

shape with a growing.

Savings Account at. .

BANK OF MONTREAL &kUUd&yMSd@SU

a b*@ step on the road to: success is an early banking connection

, University Avenue & Philip Street Office E. G. (Ted) MORGAN, O$icer in ehurge

: 2 ENGINEWS

I

- URIhlAlE - A TRIBUTE IN VERSE TO THE GREATEST COLUMNIST

THAT EVER GRACED THE PAGES OF A WEEKLY UNIVER- SITY PAPER.

EPIGRAM when after many a pint I rise

To’ answer the call that men despise, Whiz I must as wizards will And then again I go to kill Many a pint . . .

from Magna Cum Lager by Paul Jerome Renison,

EULOGY How oft have we with tearful1 eye

Perused that magic weekly page Whish your flow of genius doth soak Like the sleek canine does the oak With limb raised high. /

0 bard assult, thou unknown muse, Who poureth from parnassus high A. flow sublime men can’t refuse. We do implore you with a sigh Not to release this stream when nigh The winds of opposition blow. For then this fluid divine will soak your robe As it does permeate your mind.

What power on earth can stem your tide? We mortals do patiently abide While you from pangs of genius gain relief, By emptying your reservoir sublime.

Why do most men so stubbornly avoid, This blessed shower from the holy void, That does between your ears reside, And elsewhere too, where you are wide?

This, Master is our pledge sincere, From your golden, flow we shall not vere. But loyal we remain and true, For never would we welsh on you

ED. BERGMAN IEWELLERS LTD. Waterloo, Ontario

FINE DIAMONDS

BARROW’S Men’s Wear LTD.

34 King St. S., Waterloo 10% student discount

Herb Forester Men’s Wear Quality Clothes

94 King Street South, Wat. 10% student discount

George Kadwell Records FOLK - JAZZ - POPULAR 10% student discount

Waterloo Square SH 4-3712

You champion of nationalism, we adore, Though men this bastard off-shoot do deplore May Canadian Nectar boost your flow withal, 0 merry x-mas blessed URINALE.

They said it couldn’t be done. With a smile, he went right to it; he tackled the thing that couldn’t

groceries and meats I post office

magazines and drugs

MORROW’S CORF. 103 University Avenue W.

university billiards

l and variety

.*:. P 0.0.

king at university

be done - and couldn’t do it.

Swan Cleaners ltd. SHIRT LAUNDERERS

- Same Day Service -

10% student discount

Present student discount card

Corner King & University

A Career I

IRON ORE COMPANY OF CANADA QUEBEC NORTH SHORE & LABRADOR RAILWAY COMPANY and Associates SEPT-ILES, P. Q. l SCHEFFERVILLE, P. Q. l LABRADOR CITY. NFLD.

Career opportunities are offered in n .

in GEOLOGY ENG’INEERING: civil-

bon ‘\

i Ore! l

Electrical-MechanicaI- Mining-MetaIIurgical- Ch&nical

For a satisfying career in the Iron Ore Industry, address all inquiries to: PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT,

IRON ORE COMPANY OF CANADA,

SEPT-ILES, P. Q.

Our representatives will be pleased to meet with you when they visit your campus on

I l January 20

To the Out-Termers

“Not the crook in modern business that we fear

but the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing.”

OWEN YOUNG Moral - Be crooked and don’t mess

things up!

BOB WAGNER, B.A. - C.L.U. The Mutual Life of Canada

Bus. 7454713 Res. 745-l 330

Class of ‘64 Engineers

ATTENTION !

Plan to attend the

Engineering Class of ‘64 Dinner-Stag

Wednesday (Tonight)

Grand River Golf & Country Ckb

Faculty members are most welcome.

Tickets are available now at the

Board of Pubs. Office.

ENGINEWS editor - Jim Newman

layout - John Conlin

contributing writeis - Eric Taylor, ? Dave Grafstein, George Newton.

Published with money raised by the engineering graduating class of 1964, under no auspices.

Widnesday 8 January I964