160 09 nov17
TRANSCRIPT
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Part 2:How to Nail Your Essay
November 17, 2009
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Today
1. Essay Workshop: Part 22. Jeopardy Quotation Selection (time
permitting)
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Review from Part 1
1. Read comments from earlier2. Talk to your instructor3. Start early4. Brainstorming5. Outlining6. Concession-refutation thesis7. Paragraph mechanics8. Quote integration
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4. Brainstorming/Outlining
Is Gertrude a good mother?
Topic
•Wants him to get out of his funk (1.2.68)•Unaware of Hamlet’s digs (1.2.75)•Wants him to stay at Elsinore (1.2.119)•More interested in R&G as Hamlet’s friends, not using him (2.2.19)
Evidence
Major Point 1
Major Point 3
Major Point 2
Thesis
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Part 2
1. Introduction2. Topic sentences relating back to thesis3. Quote integration (yes, again)4. Citations5. Avoiding plagiarism6. Grammar/Punctuation7. Low-content and wordiness8. Conclusion
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1. Introduction
1. Gripping first sentence2. Background/context3. Narrow thesis
No low-content spots No diving into details yet Write this last
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Attention-Grabber First Sentence Significance of your subject Well-phrased quotation Startling statement Ask a question Begin with a generalization (be careful!) Challenge a common opinion Begin with a definition Describe an interesting
incident/anecdote
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1. Introduction
Task 1: 1. Add an attention-grabbing first sentence2. Make the background/context more
specific3. Eliminate low-content spots
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2. Topic Sentences
All topic sentences should relate back to the thesis
Use key words from the introduction to remind reader of the structure
Always include transitions in each topic sentence
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2. Topic Sentences
Task 2:
All topic sentences in the sample paper are great except one. Find it and make it better.
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3. Quote Integration
1. Frame all quotes—never drop a quote on its own
2. Change the original pronouns and use present tense
3. Make it short—summarize, paraphrase, use square brackets, or use ellipses
4. Use proper punctuation: double quotations, and only a comma before a quote if replaceable by “that.”
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3. Quote Integration
Claudius explains that “I have sent to seek him, and to find the body” (4.3.1).
Claudius explains that he has “sent to seek [Hamlet], and to find the body” of Polonius (4.3.1).
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3. Quote Integration
Task 3:Look at paragraph 4—there are three
examples of the four quotation problems. Find these problems and fix them.
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4. Citations
Cite the act, scene, and line(s)—in that order Use Arabic numerals only Put rounded brackets around the citation Put it outside the quotations with punctuation
following Use a slash mark to indicate line breaks
If I cite act 3, scene 4, line 12:
“blah blah blah” (3.4.12).
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4. Citations
Task 4:Paragraph 3 has bad citations. Fix them.
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5. Plagiarism
Even ripping ideas from the internet is plagiarism
Recycling an old paper/your friend’s paper is plagiarism
Go through ideas practiced in workshop part 1.
Blood-red document
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6. Grammar/Punctuation
Biggest errors Comma spliceIndependent clause, independent clause FragmentDependent clause.
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6. Grammar/Punctuation
Biggest errors1. Possessive apostrophe
Hamlet’s motherThe two guards’ shields
2. Semi-colonIndependent clause; independent clause
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6. Grammar/Punctuation
Task:Find these grammar/punctuation errors in
the essay
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7. Low Content
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww
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A verb that links sentence parts but does not communicate an action “To be” (is, was, were, etc.)
7.What is a Linking Verb?
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7.What is a Linking Verb?
verb
verb
Harriet was the CFO.
Harriet served as CFO.
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7.Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs
Linking verb
Action verb
Linking verb:
The focus of this workshop is recent developments in computer scanning. (11 words)
Action Verb:
This workshop focuses on recent developments in computer scanning.
(9 words)
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Eliminate Unnecessary Linking Verbs
Linking verb
Linking verb:
This is a difficult problem that requires further investigation. (9 words)
Action Verb:
This difficult problem requires further investigation. (6 words)
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Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb
Why is this sentence difficult to understand?
Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family
and work has become necessary in today’s corporate
environment.
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Linking verb
Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb
Why is this sentence difficult to understand?
Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family
and work has become necessary in today’s corporate
environment.
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Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs“To Be” is Not the Only Linking Verb
Linking verb
Action verb Action verb
Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family
and work has become necessary in today’s corporate
environment.
Today’s corporations must recognize that most employees
struggle to meet both work and family demands.
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Favour Action Verbs Over Linking Verbs:Avoid Vague Nouns
Linking verb
Action verb Action verb
Vague nouns
Recognition of the importance of the co-existence between family
and work has become necessary in today’s corporate
environment.
Today’s corporations must recognize that most employees
struggle to meet both work and family demands.
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In General, Avoid Overusing Nouns The committee reached the conclusion that a great
majority of students had a preference for mail-in registration.
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In General, Avoid Overusing NounsNoun Noun
Noun
The committee reached the conclusion that a great majority of
students had a preference for mail-in registration. (18 words)
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Noun Noun
Noun
In General, Avoid Overusing Nouns
The committee reached the conclusion that a great majority of
students had a preference for mail-in registration. (18 words)
The committee concluded that most students preferred mail-in registration. (10 words)
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Why is This Sentence Difficult to Understand?
The identification and classification of the various types of impediments to change within our company are vital steps toward the introduction of new strategies and solutions.
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Why is This Sentence Difficult to Understand?
verbThe identification and classification of the
variousvarious types of impediments to change
within our company are vital steps toward
the introduction of new strategies and
solutions.
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Revision
verb
We must identify and classify obstacles
to change before we can introduce
strategies and solutions.
verb
verb
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7. Low-content/Wordiness
Fix the two wordy sentences in the seventh paragraph.
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8. Conclusion
Restate topic sentences (using new wording)
Remind the reader of how great your paper was
Admit limitations of your study/what could also be looked at with further analysis
Write this second to last
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