13 blocks to focusing and their remedies: a compilation

7/29/2019 13 BLOCKS TO FOCUSING AND THEIR REMEDIES: A COMPILATION

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13 BLOCKS TO FOCUSING AND THEIR REMEDIES:

A COMPILATION

by Joan Klagsbrun, Ph.D. and Neil Friedman, Ph.D.

(who have borrowed liberally from Focusing literature,and acknowledge and give thanks to all who have contributed to these ideas)

Focusing can sometimes be a smooth process, but often at different points, it

doesn’t go easily. Over our 25 years of teaching, we have found that the obstacles

to successful focusing are many, but that there are usually remedies for each one.

For a recent advanced focusing training group, we culled the literature and

compiled a list of the most frequent obstacles and their remedies. We think it might be handy for new teachers to have this list with them when teaching

focusing. Being aware of the blocks to focusing can help the teacher assess where

the focuser is actually “stuck”, and what the teacher can then suggest. Of course,

this list is not exhaustive; other blocks and remedies surely exist.

1) Block: The Focuser has a mindset that “going into the body” isn’t useful — a

feeling that nothing of value or wisdom will be found there. This might be

experienced as feeling unsafe or denigrating the process—one fellow dragged to a classby his girlfriend called it “chick stuff”.

Remedy: Acknowledge this and then you might ask if there were ever a time that

checking inside was useful? Listen and reflect if there was such a time.

2) Block: The Focuser has a hard time getting into the body—stays in the head.

Remedy:

a) First, begin by doing a short relaxation exercise. It’s hard to come into the body if

it is full of tension.b) Ask them to notice bodily experience by sensing from the feet up, i.e., can you

feel your toes, your feet, your knees, how your sitting in the chair, now how it is

in the middle of your body, etc.c) Do some exercises that might engender a body sense such as comparing the

feeling inside when with a close friend one would like to see with how it feels

inside when with someone with whom there is currently tension.



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d) Tell your self “I am perfectly happy— everything in my life is going beautifully,”

and wait to see if something inside comes to contradict that.e) Remember that it is often easier for a “head “person to start sensing into the body

by starting with a positive feeling rather than a negative one.

3) Block: The Focuser is unable to get a felt sense, and the reason is not clear. For

some people, sensations come but they are not meaningful. A clue that someone is

tracking only physical sensations might be that there are a whole lot of sensations and

they keep moving around the body.

Remedy: It is important to distinguish that felt senses have an “aboutness” to them—the

tightness that is about some issue or relationship and can’t be mistaken for a too tight

belt. Ask whether this tightness or heaviness or blankness feels as if it is about

something. Then, try to find out if it is either because the issue is too close and theFocuser is overwhelmed (it’s too intense or heavy) OR because the issue is too distant

(it’s far away and s/he feels numb about it).

If there is a possibility that the reason the Focuser can’t get a felt sense is because theyare feeling good, be sure to acknowledge that. You might have them put their attention

on an even slightly good mood to see if there is a body sense of that.

In some instances, medication can keep a person from feeling into the body, so check forthat possibility. However, it is also true that medicine can sometimes allow people to

focus when they were unable to previously.

4) Block: The Focuser is unable to get a felt sense because the concern is too

close/intense/heavy.

Remedy: If the concern is too close, see if the Focuser can place it outside and get some

distance; back up and just take a peek; or be with a small part of it, remembering to begentle with oneself. As the listener, it’s often useful to do a lot of reflective listening here.

5) Block: The Focuser is unable to get a felt sense because the concern is too distant.

Remedy: If the concern is too distant, suggest the Focuser ask “how does this whole

thing feel in my body?” and wait for any slight feeling or sensation to come. It is also

useful to use evocative techniques such as “you might tell yourself this whole thing is

fine and see what the body says.” Be sure to encourage the person to take their time.

If the Focuser is a chronic dissociator, and seems to be getting lost inside her/himself,

you might keep in particularly close company (even interrupting the silences if they seem



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unproductive, to ask what the Focuser is experiencing, and to l et the person know you

are there). You might also suggest s/he opens their eyes to get grounded and oriented.

6) Block: The Focuser is unable to be friendly to the felt sense.

Remedy: Help the Focuser just acknowledge this truth even if they can’t be friendly to

it, such as acknowledging the shame that comes up, etc.

You might suggest that if they can’t be friendly to the ‘felt sense’, to see if they can stay

friendly to their response or reaction to it (feeling scared or angry, wanting to run awayetc), and then acknowledge and take time with each part.

You might also suggest that they try to get some distance from it. One way to get distance

is to pretend it happened long ago.

7) Block: The Focuser is not able to find a Handle for the felt Sense

Remedy: Suggest they call it “That one”. It is also useful to use more modalities— suchas gestures, images, or making a face that matches the feeling inside.

Sometimes, it works to take the handle they have that is not a perfect match, and ask,

“what’s missing from that, what’s off about it or what’s no quite enough or quite rightabout it?” Example: If “beautiful” doesn’t quite capture the scene I am thinking about, I

would ask myself, “What’s missing?” And then wait. “Ah, yes. (pause) What’s beautiful

is that it touches me—it’s touching. That’s a better handle for this.”

8) Block: The Focuser can’t get a felt sense to shift.

Remedy: Let the Focuser know they needn’t try so hard. Maybe suggest they let it be

for now, and check back with it later, treating it like a cake in the oven which you want tolet cook, without opening the door every minute. It also helps to look for subtle changes,

and to trust that in time, answers will come.

9) Block: The Focuser’s mind wanders.

Remedy: First, assure the Focuser that this is perfectly normal – minds tend to wander.

Then, suggest they gently bring back their attention to whatever slipped away. Sometimes

it helps to start all over again. “What was I working on? Oh, yeah, that issue with mygirlfriend. And what was my body sense? (pause), Oh, yeah, that heavy feeling. And

what was the handle? Oh, the image of a door, pressing on my heart.”



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10) Block: Intrusion of the critic. The inner critic is the harsh inner voice that attacks or

shames you. It always points to the worst, is full of judgment, makes you feel wrong,

bad, or guilty, and lacks empathy. It generally sounds familiar, and it interferes with

Focusing.

Remedy: If it seems like the critic is lurking or attacking, suggest to the Focuser that thisvoice or part they are with may be an inner critic. The first step is to recognize this voice

as the harsh inner critic it is. See if the Focuser can acknowledge that this voice is not to

be trusted in terms of leading to forward movement and growth (it will tell you the sameold thing). Awareness of a “critic attack” is usually 80% of what’s needed to get distance

from this voice.

Other things that are helpful include: Waving the critic away —saying come back whenyou have something new to say.

It can also help to get distance from this voice by asking, “how would I fee if I didn’t

have this critic?”

Recognize that this critic is an unhealed part of you. If you can’t wave it away, you

might turn towards it. Then, when you turn your attention to it, making sure you have the

proper distance, ask “What do you want for me?” (This helps you remember that thecritic was originally on your team and had your best interests at heart, even though it has

now gone amuck). It’s also sometimes helpful to ask the critic what it is afraid of,

because often under this big bully is a scared child.

11) Block: Doubting what comes from Focusing. Here, there is a voice or a part that says

what came is not new, not important etc.

Remedy: Suggest to the Focuser that they say back to the doubting part “it is something,” and see if they can trust the body version rather than the analysis of the

issue. You might suggest that whatever steps come from the Focusing be treated like

new blades of grass that you want to keep alive and not allow to get stepped on.

12) Block: Rushing the Focusing process. If there is a quality of impatience or any hurryor forcing, Focusing is usually impossible.

Remedy: You may need to have the Focuser turn their attention towards the impatienceand at least acknowledge it. Try to help the Focuser honor that this is a process that takes

time and patience.



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13) Block: Forcing Answers to Questions. Near the end of a Focusing session, there aresometimes open-ended questions that get asked, such as “What’s the worst of this? What

needs to happen? Is there a step in the right direction?”

Remedy: It’s important to wait for the body to respond, and not to give automatic

intellectual answers. Honor the body’s timetable. Focusing can’t be forced. We can setup the conditions and bring the right attitudes to our inner places, but it’s up to the inner

place to send us the answers. Some call this grace.

13 blocks to focusing and their remedies: a compilation

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