128 totally spaced out

The Fairly OddParents

“Totally Spaced Out”#128

Written By:Jack Thomas

First Draft: 6.27.01Second draft:7.5.01Final Draft:7.10.01

Nickelodeon Animation Studiosc 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved

The Fairly OddParents: “Totally Spaced Out” third draft script by Jack Thomas 7.10.01

EXT. - TURNER HOME - DAY

TIMMY, walking home from school, reaches his front door.

TIMMYAwright! The weekend! No school, no Vicky baby-sitting, just a nice fun weekend with my parents!

CUT TO:

INT. TIMMY'S PARENTS' BEDROOM - 1/2 SECOND LATER

Timmy stands in the doorway while MOM and DAD pack a SUITCASE. There seem to be a lot of BEACH ITEMS getting packed. SWIMSUITS, TOWELS, FINS, etc.

TIMMY(immediate) You're leaving?!?

MOM AND DADOn a weekend business trip!

DADTo Oceanside Resort Springs Beach.

Dad pulls out a BROCHURE.

DAD They've got golfing, not business, fishing, not business, snorkeling, not business, deep sea not businessing and eight different restaurants!

TIMMYWhere's the business?

DADWell, they've got a copier... That makes adult beverages!

TIMMYYou're going for the whole weekend?

DAD

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We're all busted up about it too, Son, but you'll be protected by Vicky!

A PAINTING OF A BOAT hangs on the wall. On the word "Vicky," the boat sinks. Dads notices the painting.

DAD I hope our fishing boat… I mean BUSINESS MEETING… doesn't do THAT.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HALLWAY – LATER

As Timmy walks to his room, Cosmo and Wanda appear.

TIMMYDarn it! Vicky's gonna torture me all weekend unless we can figure out a way to get rid of her!

Cosmo conjures up a BEAR holding a big KNIFE and FORK and wearing a VICKY BIB.

TIMMY Too messy.

COSMOHey! He's wearing a bib!

TIMMYCome on guys. Think of something! Something that'll take Vicky a million million miles from here!

Cosmo poofs up a TAPE MEASURE.

COSMOI'm on it!

Cosmo flies out the window and into the sky. They're just standing there… Timmy, Wanda and the bear. Then the bear realizes… IT'S A BEAR!

BEARROAAAR!!!!

As the bear leans in towards the two, we…

CUT TO:

EXT. - THE DREADED WAR PLANET, YUGOPOTAMIA – SAME TIME

2


The dreaded war planet looks ominous as usual. Cosmo flies into frame, with the measuring tape...

COSMO One million nine hundred thousand and one... One million nine hundred thousand and two...

CUT TO:

INT. MARK CHANG'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME

MARK CHANG, warrior prince, sits with his two best buds, JEFF and ERIK, unenthusiastically opening GIFTS as the KING and QUEEN watch.

QUEEN JIPJORRULACHappy birthday, Mark!

KING GRIPPULLON.Open it up, Pal! It's from your Mom and me!

The present revealed: A TUB OF RADIOACTIVE WASTE.

ERIKRadioactive waste?!

JEFFThat's the most awesome kind of waste there is!! My parents only got me medical waste!

MARKWhatever.

Jeff hand him a big, HEAVY GIFT.

JEFFOpen this next!

RRRRIP! TAX FORMS?

ERIKTax forms! Those are way hideous!

MARKIt does not matter how horrifyingly bad these gifts are (holds up VICKY'S PICTURE) Nothing can fill the hole in my heart left by losing my one true love, Vicky of Earth!

KING GRIPPULLON.

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Enough! You are next in line to be the evil ruler of this planet!

QUEEN JIPJORRULACGet this Earth girl out of your head and enjoy your birthday!

King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorrulac storm out as Mark looks longingly at Vicky's photo.

CUT TO:

OUTSIDE MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME

The King and Queen exit, oblivious to the fact that Cosmo is now measuring right to Mark's front door.

COSMOOne million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine... One million one million! Whew!

Cosmo rings the DOORBELL.

CUT TO:

INT. MARK'S QUARTERS - SAME TIME

SFX: Doorbell (sounds like Close Encounters tones). Mark opens the door to find Cosmo in a DELIVERY OUTFIT.

COSMOFederation Express. I have a message for Mark Chang, from Vicky of Earth.

MARKAwesome! Give it! Or I shall tear out your still beating heart and use it to play badminton!

Cosmo produces what looks like a flashlight. It projects a small HOLOGRAPHIC VICKY ala "Star Wars."

VICKYHelp me, Mark Chang. You're my only hope. I, like, miss you and stuff! Won't you take me away from this planet forever and ever and...

MARKJeff! Erik! ROAD TRIP!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - A FEW MINUTES LATER

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INT. VICKY'S ROOM - Vicky is looking at Timmy's picture and packing a suitcase full of nasty items.

VICKY (sweetly, to picture)

I know, Timmy! I'm just as excited as you are that I get to watch you for the whole weekend!!

Vicky tosses a POWER DRILL and a BALL AND CHAIN into the suitcase.

VICKY We're going to have so much fun!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!

EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME

With an idling SPACESHIP in the BG, Mark, Jeff and Erik walk to Vicky's door all packing very cartoony laser pistols.

MARKAnnounce our presence!!

Jeff rings the bell. At the sound of the buzzer, all three wheel, point their guns and blast the doorbell.

JEFF / ERIKIt's an attack! / Get it!

As the smoke clears, Vicky opens the door and sees the three CLEARLY ALIEN LIFE FORMS standing in her doorway.

VICKYYou! I remember you! You're Timmy's geek friend from Europe with the stupid alien costume!

MARK"Exactamundo!"

She looks at the other two aliens standing with Mark.

VICKYWhat? Is there an idiot convention in town?

JEFFUh… Uh... SHE'S ON TO US! DO SOMETHING!

Erik hits a BUTTON on his YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR BELT and Vicky gets sprayed with KNOCK OUT GAS.

VICKY

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(coughs) Is this some sort of French perfume? 'M sleepy...

Vicky falls into Mark's arms.

JEFFNow what? Dissection?

MARKNo! We shall take her with us! But we must make sure she's not missed by the Earth authorities.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY'S LIVING ROOM – LATER

Timmy sits on the SOFA, watching Mom and Dad pack. Wanda is near him as a WANDA VASE.

DADBoogie boards. (off Timmy's glare)I mean business boogie boards.

Cosmo reappears as COSMO FLOWERS in the vase.

WANDAWhere have you been?

COSMOWait for it.

SFX: DING DONG!

JEFF / ERIK (OS)It's an attack! Get it!

We hear the sounds of laser blasts at the door. When Dad finally opens it, he sees Vicky standing there, CLEARLY ASLEEP, held up by Tentacles. Jeff and Mark - standing behind Vicky - use her like a ventriloquist's dummy. They're not very good.

MARK (VO)Uh... hey, Earth guy... I just wanted to let you know... I have to go to, uh... your... Uh... Your...

DAD...Europe?

The aliens huddle out of sight and whisper furiously. Then...

6


MARK Yeah, that'll work. Later.

The aliens use Vicky to shut the door. Timmy high fives Cosmo and runs to his Dad. Wanda isn't sure she likes this.

TIMMYNo baby-sitter means you guys can't go on your "business" trip now!

DADWell, you'd think that, Son, but when it comes to the safety and welfare of our business trip, we always have a plan B!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. - FLAPPY BOB'S LEARNATORIUM - A FEW MINUTES LATER

Timmy now stands inside FLAPPY BOB'S, holding Cosmo and Wanda as LUGGAGE. Timmy's parents drive away into the distance.

TIMMYFlappy Bob's PeppyHappy Camp Learn-a-torium? That's plan B?

DAD (CALLING BACK)Hey, Plan C was military school!

MOM (CALLING BACK)We love you Timmy!

There are SIGNS in goofy lettering. "Sneaking Education Into Kids Since 1997" "Spontaneity Free Zone Ahead." The place is lousy with planned wackiness. Weird GIZMOS, GAMES and flashing LIGHTS everywhere.

WANDAWell, it could be worse.

Timmy walks over to a BALL PIT. He is about to pick up a BALL, when two overly enthusiastic TEENS - BETTY AND GARY - intercept him.

BETTYWhoa there, special guest! You can't just dive head first into the PeppyHappy ball pit!

GARYAnd we're going to explain why... In Song!

GARY pulls out a PITCH PIPE and blows a perfect D flat.

7


GARY (SINGING) I'm happy peppy Gary!

BETTY (SINGING)I'm peppy Happy Betty!

GARY AND BETTY (SINGING)We're peppy happy happy peppy peppy happy hap!

BETTY (SINGING)Ask Peppy Happy Gary!

GARY (SINGING)That ball pit's kind of scary!

BETTY / GARY (SINGING)So before you leap, you must put on these helmet, foam and pads! Yay!

Timmy is instantly covered in SAFETY GEAR.

TIMMYAm I having fun yet?

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. - A SPACE PORT - YUGOPOTAMIA - SAME TIME

The SPACE SHIP lands. Mark, Jeff and Erik walk down the steps holding the semi-conscious Vicky.

MARKBeloved, semi-conscious Vicky! Behold Yugopotamia! Most feared planet in the galaxy!

VICKY(Dazed) Can I have a cookie?

All three of them gasp.

MARKDo you not see why I love her? She is unafraid of one of the most lethal of all poisons found on our planet. She rocks! Now I must fetch her the deadly...cookie!!

Mark exits. As he does, Vicky snaps awake.

VICKYHey! What? Where am I??

8


JEFF / ERIKYou're...uh...you're, uh...

They huddle and whisper furiously. They break the huddle.

VICKYWell?

Jeff hits his belt and blasts Vicky with a death ray! She's vaporized!

ERIK (TO JEFF)Idiot!

Erik hits a button on his belt. Vicky is re-integrated and back to normal.

JEFF Sorry.

Jeff hits his button again and sprays Vicky with knock-out gas again. She instantly passes out.

VICKY...I don't wanna be a ballerina...

She falls into their arms just as Mark returns, wearing a RADIATION SUIT, holding a big COOKIE in gigantic TONGS. Various YUGOPOTAMIANS mull about behind them.

MARKBehold! The chewy-soft goodness of a freshly baked cookie!

YUGOPATAMIANSAAAAAAA!!!!

Citizens in the space port run screaming in terror. Mark notices the sleeping Vicky.

MARK (RE: VICKY)What is wrong with her?

JEFF / ERIKJet lag. / Rabies.

INT. FLAPPY BOB'S - SAME TIME

Timmy walks away from Betty and Gary, but they keep singing at him, throwing PILLOWS around him as he walks.

GARY AND BETTYSafety safety safety! Safety must come first! Anything but safety is the worsty worsty worst!

9


Timmy's pissed. Suddenly, he sees a SMACK-A-MOLE GAME!

TIMMYFinally! Something mindless and violent I'm totally excellent at!

Timmy starts playing, but is immediately stopped by Gary.

GARYStop! You must learn!

TIMMYHow to smack?

BETTYNo, silly willy walnut head! About that mole!! And how it feels about being smacked!

Gary and Betty happily clap twice. The lights dim, and the entire smack a mole game turns into a TV SET that starts the black and white show-- "The Mole: An Endangered Species." CHET UBETCHA appears, wearing a big, fuzzy MOLE SUIT.

CHET UBETCHAI'm Chet UBetcha, narrating... The Mole: Smack Me To Extinction.

CLOSE ON CLOCK - as the hands spin. SIX HOURS go by.

DISSOLVE TO:

AT A TABLE - LATER

Timmy - drooling - sits in front of Gary and Betty. Betty hugs a STUFFED MOLE like it's the cutest thing ever. Cosmo and Wanda are on the table as soft, fluffy TEDDY BEARS..

BETTYAnd that's why smacking is bad... and cuddling is good! Now -- Who wants cookies and ice cream?

TIMMYI do!

GARYYou don't! They're not approved food groups! Who wants soy cubes?

Betty runs up behind Timmy and raises his hand for him.

BETTYI do!

10


TIMMYWell... I want to go home!

GARYYou can't! You don't have proper adult supervision, and you're supposed to stay here until your baby-sitter returns from Europe!

TIMMYBut she's never coming back!

BETTY / GARYYay! We're going to be friends forever!

TIMMY(whispered to Cosmo and Wanda) Guys... I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Vicky were back.

They wave their wands and the fart noise comes out.

TIMMYOh, man! Lemme guess...That alien kid loves Vicky and…

WANDAOur magic can't goof up true love.

COSMO Exactamundo!

TIMMYI've gotta get Vicky back. I'm going to need a distraction... (points OS)Look! A pointy object!

GARY AND BETTYWHERE!?!

While they're distracted, Timmy runs for the ball pit. They try to stop him but Timmy makes a dive for it...

INT. - THE BALL PIT

Poof! Wanda and Cosmo pop in as PINK AND GREEN BALLS.

TIMMYI wish we were on Yugopotamia!

POOF! They're gone! OUTSIDE THE PIT, Gary and Betty desperately claw at the balls.

11


GARYHe's gone!

BETTYWe are so fired!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. - A YUGOPOTAMIAN MARKET - DAY

Timmy (in CRASH NEBULA GEAR) and Cosmo and Wanda, beam in.

TIMMYWhy am I in my Crash Nebula space suit?

COSMOIt's Spacey and form fitting?

WANDAYou wore it last time you were here!

TIMMYYou think they'll remember me?

YUGOPOTAMIAN MALEIt's Timmy Turner! The Earth warrior who eats the dreaded chocolate!!!

YUGOPATAMIANSSlither for your life!!!

Mass hysteria! The crowd flees in every direction.

YUGOPATAMIANS(terrified walla)

COSMOI'd call that a "yes".

ON A CORNER - A GUARD and TWO PARTNERS.

PALACE GUARDWe must inform King Grippullon and Queen Jipjorullac we are being invaded!

CUT TO:

INT. - THE THRONE ROOM - LATER

The King and Queen smile as they look at MARK'S BABY PICTURES. Various YUGOPOTAMIAN PARTY GOERS mill about.

KING

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I remember when Mark was first spawned, my queen! You never looked more hideous!

QUEENThey regenerate so fast. Mark was so disappointed with his gifts, I hope this surprise birthday party cheers him up!

YUGOPOTAMIAN #1He's coming! He's coming!

The lights go off. Everybody hides. THE PALACE GUARD runs in.

EVERYBODY IN ROOMSurprise!

Beat: Realization. It's not Mark.

EVERYBODY IN ROOM (Groans in disappointment)

PALACE GUARDHORRIBLE NEWS! TIMMY TURNER THE WARRIOR CHILD FROM EARTH HAS RETURNED!

KINGGASP!!! An invasion!

QUEEN JIPJORRULACWe can't let this spoil Mark's birthday!

YUGOPATAMIAN #1He's coming! He's coming!

Lights off. Everybody hides. Timmy and the Godparents enter.

EVERYBODY IN ROOMSurprise! (Beat) AAAAAA!!!!!!!

KINGWe left your planet in peace! What do you want with us!

TIMMY(pained) I demand the release of the Earth girl, Vicky!

KINGVicky? She's here? Mark??

13


YUGOPATAMIAN #1He's coming! He's coming!

Lights off. Everybody hides, including Timmy. Mark, with the dazed and confused Vicky, enters.

EVERYBODY IN ROOMAAAAA! (Beat: It's Mark) Surprise!!

The King and Queen walk up to Mark. Mark is holding Vicky's hand as she flops around like a rag doll.

TIMMY (TO COSMO AND WANDA)It's Vicky! Hide!

POOF! They're FURNITURE.

Timmy walks up to Mark and strikes a heroic pose.

TIMMYSurprise.

MARKNo way!

TIMMYWay.

KING GRIPPULON (TO MARK)You have brought the wrath of Earth upon us! Give him his mate back!

MARKNo way!

KINGWay.

TIMMYMATE?!?!?

MARKIt's my birthday, I am a man now, and I will not relinquish my love! I challenge the Earth punk to De-Chah-Fat!

Everyone gasps in horror.

TIMMYI accept. What kind of chocolate- eating, cookie-crunching, flower- dancing horror is De-Chah-Fat?

14


MARKI'm sorry, I sneezed. I meant to say Death Combat.

TIMMY(croaks out) Excuse me?

The Palace Guard walks up to Mark.

PALACE GUARDYou know the rules of De-Chaf-At.

MARKGeshundheit!

PALACE GUARDThank you! Each round lasts 4000 Yugopotamian Hours.

TIMMYWhat?

PALACE GUARDTwo of your earth minutes. Each warrior may choose their own arena of combat. And since it is Mark's birthday, he may choose first!

MARKI choose the Yugopotamian war arena!!

The guard stomps his battle AXE on the floor and Timmy, Mark, and the Guard all "beam" to....

INT. A YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR ARENA

The place looks like the "Thunderdome". The Palace guard stands between Timmy and Mark, who stand about 50 feet apart, scowling at each other.

PALACE GUARDLet the battle BEGIN!

MARKIn the name of Vicky, prepare to totally meet your doom!

He charges at Timmy firing the SMASHGRINDER 7000, a truly devilish weapon with all sorts of barrels, blades and pointy stuff jutting out from it.

15


ON TIMMY - as Cosmo and Wanda <Poof!> into scene.

TIMMYI wish you were amazingly cool hi-tech protective space weapons!!

POOF! Cosmo becomes an all purpose UTILITY BELT, Wanda becomes an amazing high-tech SPACE-TYPE GUN.

TIMMY Bring it on, soap scum!

COSMO"Alien" scum.

TIMMYWhatever!

He launches himself at Mark. They meet in mid-air (think subway fight in The Matrix). Timmy's Wanda gun fires pillows at Mark. They hit...

MARKAHHH! FEATHERY SOFTNESS!

Mark wipes a FEATHER from the corner of his mouth. They both spin away from each other.

TIMMYPillows?

WANDAYugopatamians hate fluffy and nice and good and sweet!

COSMOYeah, Timmy! On this planet you have to fight fire with fun!

Mark fires glowing PLASMA BULLETS at Timmy which the Cosmo belt deflects.

IN THE STANDS, Yugopotamians cheer Mark on. Except for Vicky, who is out cold and drooling on Erik's shoulder.

IN THE ARENA - Timmy shoots FLOWERS at Mark which he ducks as they float past. Mark keeps moving in and firing. He gets Timmy backed up against the wall. Several extra BARRELS pop out of his gun. The crowd is up on it's tentacles. Timmy is cornered!! Nowhere to run!!

MARKCheckmate, dude!!

SFX: DING!

16


PALACE GUARDThat is the end of the first round! (To Timmy) You may now choose the battle arena.

TIMMYThink, Timmy... Think. Fight fire with fun. They hate good, and nice is icky. Good and nice combined...

Timmy smiles a "cat that ate the canary" smile. WE...

INT. LEARNATORIUM - SAME TIME

Gary and Betty have their BAGS packed as KIDS mill about.

GARYSo, here's the deal. We send these kids home and then?

BETTYWe're in Mexico before anybody figures out the ball pit ate a child.

GARYExactamundo!!

FWASH!!! Timmy and Mark appear in the ball pit, ready for round two.

GARY I'll take credit for finding him. You unpack and keep that squid moist.

Mark and Timmy face off, but Mark is distracted by the happy peppy surroundings.

MARKThose colors! Those animals... aagh! It's all so fuzzy and nice!

Timmy drops Wanda, and reaches into a nearby JAR of something that looks like it could be candy.

MARK No, not jelly beans!

TIMMYNo! FAT FREE SOY BEANS!

MARKAAAAA! WAY TOO HEALTHY!!!!

17


Timmy throws them as though they were grenades. Mark dodges, and lands in the arms of a STUFFED POLAR BEAR.

POLAR BEARI'm Pete, the Polar Bear! Can you save me from extinction?

MARKAAA!

Children cheer! They love the excitement. The spontaneity.

BETTY / GARYStop! This is not an approved activity!

A FREEZ-O BEAM from Mark's SG721, popsicles them. The

kids cheer. They're out of the loop.

KIDSHA! HA! HA!

MARKThe laughter of children! I cannot take the laughter of children!

Timmy smugly walks up, holding something behind his back.

MARK Dude. No. Please!

TIMMYNow... Cuddle the Mole!!!

Timmy reveals the mole. Mark collapses in horror.

MARKI CANNOT CUDDLE THE MOLE! I SURRENDER! YOU WIN THE DE-CHAF-AT!

GARY AND BETTYBless you!

MARKYeah.

Suddenly, The King, Queen, Jeff, Erik and the dazed Vicky beam in. The King and Queen see all the kids and freak.

KINGEarth child, once again you have won fair and square. Here. Take your woman and kindly slay our son.

18


VICKY…Tuesday is applesauce day…

Vicky staggers over to Timmy. Timmy SHOULD catch her, but lets her drop like a sack of lead. Timmy walks up to the clearly crushed Mark.

TIMMYHey, Man... She's not my woman! She's my baby sitter! And once I'm 16, you can have her back for good!

MARKSix years? That's like a gabillion Yugopotamian hours. This birthday stinks.

TIMMYWell... I do feel bad about spoiling your big day so I will give you two gifts! One, I will spare your life!

MARKAwesome!

TIMMYAnd two...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. - YUGOPOTAMIAN WAR SHIP - LATER

Mark, Jeff and Erik stand before a big SMACK-A-MOLE game.

JEFFDude, that Earth kid isn't so bad.

ERIKYeah, check out his present!

The smack-a-mole game starts. Gary and Betty, still frozen, pop out of the holes. Erik and Jeff smack them with FOAM MALLETS. Mark looks out the porthole at a receding Earth.

MARK Foolish human! When I'm done with this combat training device, I will return for Vicky, yet again!

GARY AND BETTYSoy cube?

MARK

19


Niceness! Run!!!!

As Mark, Erik and Jeff run OS we...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. - TIMMY'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Timmy, normally dressed, and Cosmo and Wanda, as goldfish, sit next to the still-dazed Vicky on the couch.

TIMMYWell, Mark's gone, Vicky's back and baby-sitting, I'm not in happy town anymore and everything's right in the world!

COSMOAnd you're not dead!

Vicky comes out of it.

VICKYI... Uh... HEY! Where am I? What am I doing here? And why aren't you miserable? YOU'D BETTER...

Timmy hits a button on his belt. PSST! Knock out gas. Vicky drops. And on Timmy smiling, we...

IRIS OUT

20

128 totally spaced out

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