12 ways to be more successful

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Stefano Ganddini WAYS successful 12 to be more ollegetopia hange. Improve. Succeed. C

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How to be successful

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Page 1: 12 Ways to Be More Successful

Stefano Ganddini

WAYS successful

12to be more

ollegetopia hange. Improve. Succeed. C

Page 2: 12 Ways to Be More Successful

Introduction                         3  

Section  1:  Develop  A  Success  Mindset               5  

Section  2:  Do  Less  Better                   8  

Section  3:  Get  Comfortable  With  Being  Uncomfortable         10  

Section  4:  Experiment  More                 12  

Section  5:  Improve  Your  Social  Skills               15  

Section  6:  Find  Mentors                   18  

Section  7:  Practice  Objectivity                 21  

Section  8:  Take  Control  Of  Your  Habits               23    

Section  9:  Read  More                     26  

Section  10:  Write  More                   28  

Section  11:  Enjoy  The  Present  Moment             31  

Section  12:  Show  Up  Every  Day                 33  

About  The  Author                     35

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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I  believe  that  every  single  person  is  born  with  an  incredible  potential  to  achieve  incredible  things.  The  problem  is  that  not  everyone  learns  how  to  tap  into  that  potential,  which  is  why  most  people  end  up  living  ordinary  lives  full  of  “what  if’s”  and  “if  only’s.”  A  few  years  ago,  I  decided  that  I  was  tired  of  being  ordinary.  Since  then,  I’ve  been  obsessively  researching  what  differentiates  those  who  succeed  from  those  who  don’t.  With  all  the  scammy  marketing  crap  that’s  on  the  Internet  these  days,  sometimes  it  can  be  hard  to  find  the  stuff  of  substance—you  know,  the  stuff  that  actually  works.  The  stuff  that’s  been  proven  by  people  who  have  gotten  real  results.    And  while  there  is  some  great  stuff  hidden  in  the  small  corners  of  the  Internet,  a  lot  of  people  seem  to  have  forgotten  that  books  are  still  the  most  condensed  form  of  knowledge  on  the  planet  (more  on  this  later).      That’s  why  I  decided  to  write  this  eBook.  Over  the  last  few  years  I’ve  had  my  ups  and  downs  experimenting  with  different  ideas  in  my  own  life,  trying  to  figure  out  what  works  and  what  doesn’t,  and  cataloguing  the  results  on  my  blog.  This  eBook  is  my  first  attempt  at  compiling  all  of  the  most  important  things  I’ve  learned  so  far  into  a  single,  compact  form.    Given  that  I’m  only  a  senior  in  college,  I  know  that  my  successes  are  small  and  insignificant  relative  to  the  amazing  things  that  Bill  Gates  and  Warren  Buffet  and  all  the  Mark  Zuckerburg’s  of  our  time  have  accomplished.    So  why  should  you  listen  to  what  I  have  to  say?    I  don’t  know.  I  guess  you  shouldn’t.  It’s  up  to  you.    I  didn’t  write  this  eBook  with  the  intention  of  it  being  some  sort  of  be-­‐all,  end-­‐all  guide  to  success.  I’m  just  trying  to  contribute  what  I  can  to  the  conversation.  The  ideas  in  this  eBook  are  the  ones  that  have  had  the  biggest  impact  in  my  life,  and  seem  to  have  also  resonated  well  with  the  readers  of  my  blog.  They  might  not  be  revolutionary,  but  if  I  had  gotten    

INTRODUCTION

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my  hands  on  something  like  this  just  a  few  years  ago  I  could’ve  avoided  many,  many  mistakes.  I  guess  I  wrote  this  eBook  as  a  sort  of  guide  for  myself,  but  I  think  it  might  be  useful  to  you  too.    You  might  not  agree  with  everything  I  have  to  say.  That’s  fine.  But  even  if  there’s  only  one  thing  in  this  entire  eBook  that  motivates  you  to  get  off  your  butt  and  go  do  something,  then  all  the  effort  I  put  into  it  will  have  been  worth  it.    Which  brings  me  to  my  next  point:  I’ve  designed  this  eBook  in  a  way  that  makes  it  easy  for  you  to  take  immediate  action.  At  the  end  of  each  section,  I’ve  included  a  set  of  “action  items,”  which  are  a  set  of  specific,  actionable  steps  that  I  highly  recommend  you  do  before  moving  onto  the  next  section.    It’s  easy  to  get  stuck  in  the  cycle  of  reading  article  after  article,  only  to  never  take  any  action.  Reading  is  great,  but  real  progress  requires  action.  Knowledge  is  meaningless  without  application.    

!!!!!!!So  let’s  get  started...  “

The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” – Tony Robbins

12 Ways To Be More Successful

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Most  people  think  that  successful  people  were  born  with  more  natural  ability  than  the  rest  of  the  world.    They  think  successful  people  were  born  with  more  talent,  or  more  intelligence,  or  more  physical  strength.  Or  they  received  a  better  education,  or  they  had  more  resources,  or  maybe  they  just  got  “lucky.”    That’s  bullshit.    It  doesn’t  matter  how  smart  you  are.  It  doesn’t  matter  how  much  money  you  have.    It  doesn’t  matter  where  you  come  from.    Some  of  the  most  successful  people  in  the  world  started  out  with  absolutely  nothing.    Look  at  Oprah  Winfrey.    Not  only  is  she  black  and  female—the  two  demographics  that  have  faced  the  most  discrimination  throughout  history—but  she  was  also  born  to  an  unmarried,  teenage  mother,  spent  her  first  six  years  living  in  rural  poverty,  and  was  sexually  abused  when  she  was  nine  years  old.  Few  people  have  suffered  as  much  as  she  has.    But  did  she  spend  the  rest  of  her  life  feeling  sorry  for  herself,  wishing  her  life  was  different?  No.  Instead,  she  went  on  to  become  the  richest  self-­‐made  woman  in  America,  and  the  first  black  woman  billionaire  in  history.    How’d  she  do  it?  How’d  she  manage  to  become  so  successful,  even  with  the  cards  stacked  against  her?  She  overcame  the  biggest  obstacle  to  success,  which  is  the  invisible  barrier  that  exists  inside  our  heads—the  only  barrier  that  truly  keeps  us  from  achieving  great  things.  

Section 1: Develop A Success Mindset

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It’s  this  internal  barrier—not  ability,  not  resources,  not  luck—that  keeps  people  from  becoming  high  achievers.  It’s  the  little  voice  in  our  heads  that  tells  us  that  we’re  not  good  enough  that  convinces  people  there’s  no  point  in  trying.    But  once  you  overcome  this  mental  obstacle,  no  external  obstacle  can  ever  stop  you.  Think  about  how  many  barriers,  or  things  we  thought  to  be  barriers,  turned  out  to  be  only  mental  obstacles…  • People  used  to  think  it  was  impossible  to  fly.  Then,  on  December  17th,  

1903,  the  Wright  brothers  constructed  and  flew  the  first  successful  airplane.  

• Pilots  used  to  think  it  was  impossible  to  fly  faster  than  the  speed  of  sound.  Then,  on  October  14th,  1947,  Chuck  Yeager  became  the  first  person  to  break  the  sound  barrier.    

• Runners  used  to  think  it  was  impossible  to  run  a  mile  in  less  than  4  minutes.  Then,  on  May  6,  1954,  Roger  Bannister  ran  it  in  3  minutes  59.4  seconds.    

These  are  just  a  few  examples.  History  is  littered  with  exemplary  people  who  have  proven  again  and  again  that  with  the  right  mental  attitude  and  some  patience,  nothing  is  impossible.    Sure,  you  might  hit  some  road  bumps  along  the  way,  you  might  have  to  take  another  route,  and  it  might  take  longer  than  you  had  expected…  but  eventually  you  will  get  there.    When  you  really,  genuinely  believe  this—that  in  the  end,  you  will  win,  no  matter  what—then,  and  only  then,  are  you  are  on  the  path  to  living  a  life  of  great  success.    I  know  that  I  still  have  a  lot  to  learn;  but,  I’ve  started  to  realize  how  incredibly  important  it  is  to  have  this  success-­‐oriented  mentality,  if  nothing  else.  

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12 Ways To Be More Successful

You  didn’t  get  the  job  you  wanted?  You  bombed  a  test?  The  girl  you  like  doesn’t  like  you  back?  That  sucks,  but  it’s  not  the  end  of  the  world.  Learn  from  your  mistakes,  and  move  on.      You  have  to  believe  you  were  born  to  succeed,  even  when  you  feel  like  a  complete  failure—especially  when  you  feel  like  a  complete  failure.    It’s  hard  to  do,  I  know.  If  it  was  easy,  everyone  would  be  successful.    But  if  you’re  reading  this,  you’re  probably  not  like  everyone.    !ACTION  ITEM  This  is  a  great  exercise  I  heard  about  from  author  Michael  Hyaj:  Write  down  3  limikng  beliefs  you  have.  Then,  cross  them  out  and  replace  them  with  3  liberakng  beliefs.    Examples:  “I’m  just  not  cut  out  to  be  successful.”    “I  was  born  to  succeed.”  “I’m  never  going  to  find  out  what  I  want  to  do  with  my  life.”    “I’m  taking  small  steps  and  moving  closer  and  closer  towards  where  I  want  to  be.”  “I’m  such  an  awkward  person.”    “I  am  working  on  improving  my  social  skills,  because  I  enjoy  conneckng  with  people.  It  is  uncomfortable  right  now,  but  soon  it  will  come  more  naturally  to  me.”  The  next  kme  you  catch  yourself  feeling  overcome  by  a  limikng  belief,  remind  yourself  of  this  exercise.  

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SECTION 2: Do Less Better

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We  can  only  give  our  full,  focused  attention  to  so  many  things.    As  David  Allen,  creator  of  the  Getting  Things  Done  (GTD)  time  management  method,  says:  “You  can  do  anything,  but  you  can’t  do  everything.”  Everything  has  an  opportunity  cost,  and  time  is  our  most  valuable  resource.    Every  successful  person  lives  by  this  principle.  They’re  ruthless  with  their  time.    I  read  an  article  not  too  long  ago  that  explains  how  Warren  Buffet,  the  second  richest  man  in  America,  has  been  able  to  achieve  as  much  as  he  has.    He  uses  the  following  3-­‐step  strategy.    Step  1:  Write  down  your  top  25  career  goals.  (These  can  also  be  goals  that  you  wish  to  complete  on  a  shorter  timeline—like  25  things  you  wish  to  accomplish  this  year,  or  even  this  month—and  they  don’t  have  to  be  limited  to  career  goals).  Step  2:  Review  your  list  and  circle  your  top  5  goals.  (Pause  right  now  and  do  these  first  two  steps  before  reading  step  3).  Step  3:  You  should  now  have  two  lists:  the  5  things  you  circled  are  List  A,  and  the  20  things  that  you  didn’t  circle  are  List  B.  Here’s  the  crucial  part:  List  B  is  now  your  Avoid-­‐At-­‐All-­‐Cost  List.  This  means  that  no  matter  what,  everything  on  your  Avoid-­‐At-­‐All-­‐Cost  List  gets  no  attention  from  you  until  you’ve  succeeded  with  your  Top  5.    It’s  about  giving  your  full,  focused  attention  to  only  a  few  select  things,  the  most  important  things,  and  avoiding  anything  that  distracts  you  from  those  things.  

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It’s  easy  to  recognize  and  eliminate  (or  at  least  minimize)  the  obvious  distractions,  like  TV  and  social  media.  It’s  not  so  easy  to  eliminate  things  that  are  important  to  us —the   things  that  we  might  consider  “second  priority  items”—when  we  don’t  even  recognize  them  as  distractions  in  the  first  place.  But  if  they’re  not  the  MOST  important  things,  that’s  exactly  what  they  are—distractions.  But  second  priority  items  are  the  enemy.  Second  priority  items  are  the  reason  why  you  currently  have  25  half-­‐finished  projects.    Anything  that’s  not  directly  helping  you  to  achieve  your  most  important  goals  is,  directly  or  indirectly,  preventing  you  from  achieving  those  goals.  Since  implementing  this  “2  List”  strategy  in  my  own  life,  I’ve  been  making  huge  leaps  of  progress  on  my  Top  5  goals.    But  defining  your  Top  5  is  only  half  of  the  equation.  The  other  half  is  identifying  your  “why”  for  each  goal.    Ask  yourself  why  each  goal  is  important  to  you,  and  don’t  settle  for  superficial  reasons.  Dig  deep.  Keep  asking  “why”  until  you  get  down  to  the  real  reason.    If  you  don’t  have  a  genuine  reason,  you’ll  probably  end  up  giving  up  on  it,  because  you’ll  forget  why  the  goal  was  important  to  you  in  the  first  place.    

!ACTION  ITEM  Follow  the  3-­‐step  strategy  outlined  above.  Pay  close  attention  to  what’s  on  your  Avoid-­‐At-­‐All-­‐Cost  list,  and  realize  that  you  have  to  be  willing  to  sacrifice  good  things  in  order  to  do  great  things.  After  you’ve  identified  your  top  5,  identify  your  why’s.  

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12 Ways To Be More Successful

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SECTION 3: Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

“ If you are willing to do only what’s easy, life will be hard, but if you are willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy.” – T. Harv Eker

If  you  want  to  achieve  anything  great  in  your  life,  you  have  to  get  comfortable  with  being  uncomfortable.  Instead  of  sticking  to  what’s  familiar  all  the  time,  seek  out  opportunities  that  put  you  in  uncomfortable  positions.    Instead  of  acting  out  of  fear,  practice  acting  in  spite  of  fear.    In  fact,  use  your  fear  as  an  indicator—let  it  guide  you  toward  the  things  that  you  know  will  make  you  a  better  person.    As  Steven  Pressfield,  author  of  The  War  of  Art,  says:  “The  more  scared  you  are  of  doing  something,  the  more  certain  you  can  be  that  you  have  to  do  it.”  Stop  over-­‐thinking  it.    Planning  is  good  but,  at  a  certain  point,  planning  just  becomes  another  form  of  procrastination.  The  most  successful  people  in  the  world  are  master  executors.    When  they  have  an  idea,  they  don’t  sit  on  it  for  days,  or  months,  or  years  before  deciding  to  act  on  it.  They  act  immediately.

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I  first  started  thinking  about  starting  my  blog  nearly  two  years  before  I  actually  started  it.    If  I  had  started  my  blog  the  day  I  first  thought  about  it,  I  would  be  two  years  ahead  of  where  I  am  right  now.    Don’t  make  the  same  mistake  I  made.  Work  on  closing  the  gap  between  thinking  of  an  idea  and  executing  it.    Don’t  overwhelm  yourself  by  looking  too  far  ahead.  Focus  on  making  one  move  at  a  time.  Break  down  big  projects  into  small,  bite-­‐size  pieces,  and  start  with  the  easy  part.  Once  you’ve  built  some  momentum,  move  onto  the  more  difficult  parts.  Anything  worth  achieving  requires  some  level  of  discomfort.    Everyone  knows  how  important  it  is  to  work  out  our  bodies.  But  we  forget  that  our  mind  is  also  a  muscle—the  more  we  work  it  out,  the  stronger  it  gets.  Start  by  doing  small  things…  Talk  to  strangers,  take  cold  showers,  sign  up  for  an  improv  class.  It  doesn’t  matter  what  it  is,  just  do  something,  and  do  it  on  a  daily  basis.    By  doing  something  as  simple  as  taking  cold  showers  every  day  (I’ve  written  pretty  extensively  about  this  on  my  blog),  you  build  your  tolerance  for  discomfort.    A  high  tolerance  for  discomfort  enables  us  to  keep  calm  in  times  of  stress,  to  adapt  to  the  obstacles  that  life  throws  at  us,  and  to  fearlessly  take  on  new  challenges.    

!ACTION  ITEM  Think  of  one  thing  that  makes  you  uncomfortable.  Maybe  it’s  talking  to  strangers.  Or  maybe  is  public  speaking.  Or  maybe  it’s  taking  a  salsa  class.  Whatever  that  one  thing  is,  go  do  it.  

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SECTION 4: Experiment More

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“ Many of life’s failure are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas A. Edison

Any  time  you  see  someone  successful,  know  that  they  had  to  overcome  many  obstacles,  and  many  failures,  to  get  there.    Think  of  any  great  success  story  and  you’ll  find  that  the  turning  point  was,  invariably,  the  result  of  some  sort  of  epic  failure  that  forced  him  or  her  to  think  of  an  alternative  way  of  doing  things.    Look  at  Steve  Jobs.  When  he  was  30,  Apple’s  board  of  directors  fired  him.  But  he  didn’t  let  that  stop  him.  He  went  on  to  found  a  new  company  called  NeXT,  which  was  eventually  acquired  by  Apple.  Within  two  years,  Jobs  saved  Apple  from  near  bankruptcy,  and  the  rest  was  history.  Redemption  at  its  finest.    In  a  speech  Jobs  gave  at  Stanford  University,  he  said  being  fired  from  Apple  was  the  best  thing  that  could  have  happened  to  him.  It  is  through  failure  that  the  world’s  greatest  innovations  are  born.    As  author  Ryan  Holiday  says,  “Failure  shows  us  the  way—by  showing  us  what  isn’t  the  way.”  And  yet  most  of  us  continue  to  do  everything  we  can  to  avoid  any  situation  that  might  put  us  at  even  the  slightest  risk  of  failure.    We  have  to  realize  that  failure  is  not  as  catastrophic  or  as  permanent  as

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we  often  make  it  out  to  be.  Unless  we  allow  it  to  be.  It  might  help  to  stop  labeling  everything  we  do  in  our  lives  as  success  or  failures,  and  instead  start  thinking  of  everything  as  an  experiment.    As  Thomas  Edison  said,  “I  have  not  failed.  I've  just  found  10,000  ways  that  won't  work."    Edison  didn’t  “fail”  10,000  times.  He  was  simply  experimenting.  When  one  experiment  didn’t  work,  he  tried  something  else.    I  don’t  know  if  it  actually  took  Edison  10,000  tries  to  invent  the  light  bulb,  but  I  bet  he  wouldn’t  have  given  up  even  if  it  had  taken  him  100,000  tries.    That’s  what  it  takes.  Ruthless  persistence.    How  many  experiments  do  you  usually  conduct  before  giving  up?  When  was  the  last  time  you  failed?  When  was  the  last  time  you  even  gave  yourself  a  chance  to  fail?      

!!!!!!!But  don’t  just  fail  for  the  sake  of  failing.    The  one  way  to  guarantee  we  don’t  benefit  from  failure  is  to  not  learn  from  it.    And  while  it’s  true  that  humans  only  learn  from  mistakes,  that  doesn’t  only  apply  to  the  mistakes  we  make  on  our  own.    If  you  see  someone  touch  something  hot,  and  it  burns  his  hand,  would  

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“ Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure.” – Thomas J. Watson

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you  go  on  to  touch  it  too?  Of  course  not.  You  don’t  have  to  touch  it  to  know  that  it  will  burn  you,  because  you  already  learned  that  by  seeing  someone  else  do  it.    You  can  learn  from  other  people’s  mistakes  as  much  as  you  can  learn  from  your  own.  There’s  no  need  to  reinvent  the  wheel.    Similarly,  if  you’re  doing  the  same  thing,  over  and  over  again,  but  expecting  to  get  different  results,  you  will  go  insane.    If  something’s  not  working,  for  God’s  sake,  stop  doing  it  and  try  something  else.    Avoid  making  the  mistakes  that  can  be  avoided,  but  don’t  be  afraid  to  go  out  on  a  limb  and  try  something  new.  If  it  doesn’t  work  out,  good.  You’re  now  one  step  closer  to  finding  out  what  does.    

!ACTION  ITEM  Write  down  three  new  “experiments”  to  try  in  your  life,  in  any  area  where  you’re  not  currently  getting  the  results  you  want.    Here  are  some  examples:  If  you  want  to  be  more  productive,  try  waking  up  earlier.      If  you  want  to  get  better  grades,  try  using  the  Feynman  technique.    If  you  want  to  gain  more  muscle,  try  consuming  more  protein.  

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SECTION 5: Improve Your Social Skills

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Many  intellectually  brilliant  people  never  earn  the  recognition  they  deserve,  simply  because  they  have  poor  social  skills.  By  the  same  token,  people  with  average  intelligence  but  outstanding  social  skills  can  often  achieve  great  success.    Whether  you  like  it  or  not,  the  fact  remains:  people  with  amazing  social  skills  are  more  successful  than  those  without.            

!!!!!!!!It  amazes  me  that,  while  social  skills  might  be  one  of  the  most  valuable  skills  one  can  possibly  have,  we  rarely  look  at  it  as  a  learnable  skill  that  can  be  systematically  improved.  After  all,  it  is  a  skill,  and  just  like  any  other  skill,  it  can  be  improved—all  it  takes  is  some  practice.      But  first  you  have  to  genuinely  want  to  improve  your  social  skills.    For  a  long  time,  I  would  say  that  I  wanted  to  become  more  social,  but  deep  down  I  was  holding  onto  a  strong  resentment  towards  extremely  social  people.    The  reason  why  it  took  me  so  long  to  start  making  an  effort  to  improve  my  social  skills  was  because  I  had  a  subconscious  bias  against  socially  adept  people.  I  would  tell  myself  I  wanted  to  be  more  social,  but  I  didn’t  want  to  become  one  of  those  “douchebags”  and  start  changing  the  way  

The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” – Theodore Roosevelt“

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I  talked.  I  thought  people  should  like  me  for  who  I  was.    Now  I  realize  how  stubborn  and  judgmental  I  was  being.  Over  the  last  few  years  I’ve  learned  that  a  big  part  of  being  social  is  less  about  you  and  more  about  others.  It’s  about  exhibiting  a  genuine  interest  in  the  people  you  meet,  listening  to  what  they  have  to  say,  and  understanding  where  they’re  coming  from.    But  you  can’t  do  any  of  those  things  without  first  overcoming  any  psychological  barriers  you  might  have.  Once  you’ve  done  that,  forming  genuine  connections  with  other  people  will  be  much  easier.  Then,  it’s  just  a  matter  of  putting  yourself  out  there.    This  means  talking  to  people  as  often  as  you  can…  Talk  to  your  classmates,  talk  to  the  person  standing  next  to  you  in  line,  talk  to  random  strangers  on  the  street.  During  the  fall  of  my  sophomore  year  I  did  a  30-­‐day  challenge  to  talk  to  someone  new  every  day.  Even  though  I  failed  and  only  managed  to  talk  to  someone  new  for  18  days  out  of  the  30,  in  those  18  days  I  think  I  met  more  people  than  I  had  the  entire  semester,  some  with  whom  I’m  still  in  contact  today.    Before  doing  this  challenge  I  was  terrified  of  approaching  people  I  didn’t  know—especially  girls.  But  today,  if  I  see  someone  I’m  interested  in  talking  to,  I’ll  immediately  walk  up  to  him  or  her  and  start  a  conversation.    If  you  don’t  think  you’d  be  able  to  do  that,  to  reframe  the  way  you  think  about  talking  to  strangers,  realize  that  you’re  actually  doing  them  a  favor  by  talking  to  them.  Think  about  the  last  time  a  stranger  started  a  conversation  with  you.  How’d  it  make  you  feel?  Pretty  good,  right?  You  weren’t  weirded  out  were  you?  No,  you  were  probably  pleasantly  surprised.    Human  beings  are  social  creatures.  We  like  being  talked  to.  We  like  it  when  other  people  take  an  interest  in  us.  Even  introverts  like  myself.  

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Being  social  is  about  making  that  extra  effort  to  show  people  that  you’re  interested  in  what’s  going  on  in  their  lives.  Try  to  understand  their  points  of  view  and  why  they  believe  what  they  believe.  Help  them  in  any  way  you  can.  And,  if  nothing  else,  just  have  some  fun.    

!ACTION  ITEM  Talk  to  someone  new  today  (or  at  the  next  opportunity  you  have)  using  “the  3-­‐second  rule”:  if  you  see  someone  you’re  interested  in  talking  to,  you  have  3  seconds  to  walk  up  to  them  and  start  a  conversation.    Simple,  yes,  but  also  extremely  effective.  Here’s  why  it  works:  if  you  wait  any  longer  than  3  seconds,  you’ll  probably  end  up  over-­‐thinking  it  and  never  say  anything  at  all.  Stop  worrying  about  what  to  say.  Anything  is  better  than  nothing.

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SECTION 6: Find Mentors

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Don’t  be  afraid  to  ask  for  help.    Tiger  Woods  is  the  greatest  golfer  in  the  world,  and  even  he  has  a  coach.      He  knows  that,  in  order  to  stay  on  top  of  his  game,  he  has  to  keep  learning.  As  good  as  he  is,  he  knows  that  he  can’t  figure  everything  out  on  his  own.    Last  summer,  I  interned  at  a  large  global  consulting  firm  and  each  intern  was  formally  assigned  a  “peer  advisor”—a  recent  new  hire  to  teach  the  in’s  and  out’s  of  working  at  the  company.    While  most  of  the  other  interns  barely  talked  to  their  peer  advisors,  I  made  a  conscious  effort  to  develop  a  strong  relationship  with  mine.  I  asked  him  questions  almost  every  day.  I  asked  him  how  I  could  differentiate  myself  from  the  other  interns,  how  to  work  more  effectively  on  projects,  and  how  to  get  put  on  the  projects  I  wanted.      Guess  what?  Every  time  he  answered  a  question  for  me,  he  gave  me  super  useful  advice  that  made  me  more  confident,  productive,  and  knowledgeable  than  the  rest  of  the  interns.    Towards  the  end  of  my  internship,  I  was  the  one  intern  (out  of  147  interns  in  the  nation)  invited  to  attend  conferences  in  Las  Vegas  with  some  of  the  top  managers  and  directors  of  the  company.  I  was  flown  out  to  Vegas  to  attend  workshops,  network,  and  eat  fancy  dinners  at  really,  really  nice  restaurants—all  expenses  paid.    Coincidentally,  my  peer  advisor  also  happened  to  be  working  on  a  project  in  Vegas  at  the  time.  I’m  not  saying  that  I  got  invited  to  attend  these  conferences  solely  because  of  my  relationship  with  my  peer  advisor,  but  it  couldn’t  have  hurt.    Now,  I  realize  that  we’re  not  usually  assigned  mentors  like  I  was  in  my

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internship,  but  you  can  find  mentors  everywhere.    If  there’s  someone  that  you  want  to  learn  from,  just  reach  out  to  them.    For  example,  the  other  day,  I  came  across  a  great  article  by  entrepreneur  Max  Ogles,  so  I  decided  to  shoot  him  an  email.  Why  not?    As  Ryan  Holiday  says,  we  must  be  confident  enough  to  ask,  humble  enough  not  to  expect.    Here’s  the  email  I  sent  him:    

!!!!!!!!!!!!I  didn’t  expect  him  to  respond,  especially  after  a  few  days  of  not  hearing  back,  but  then  he  did.  And  he  gave  me  some  really  great  advice.    I  don’t  ask  for  feedback  enough.  This  is  something  that  I  really  need  to  start  doing  more  frequently.  I  replied  back  to  him  thanking  him  for  his  advice  and  letting  him  know  that  I  will  be  trying  to  get  feedback  on  the  next  few  pieces  I  write.  I  plan  on  following  up  with  him  again  in  a  month  or  so  letting  him  know  what  the  results  are.    As  long  as  you’re  not  asking  for  too  much  and  are  respectful  of  their  time,  people  are  usually  more  than  happy  to  help.  That  being  said,  if  you

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email  Bill  Gates  right  now,  you  probably  won’t  get  a  response.    Your  best  bet  is  to  look  for  mentors  who  are  one  or  two  levels  above  you  in  whatever  skill  you’re  trying  to  improve.  They’re  the  ones  who  will  be  more  willing  to  help  you,  since  they  were  just  in  your  shoes  not  too  long  ago.    Another  thing  to  keep  in  mind  is  the  importance  of  taking  action.  If  you  ask  someone  for  help,  take  his  or  her  advice  to  heart.  Implement  his  advice,  and  then  follow  up  with  him  on  your  results.  This  is  what  will  separate  you  from  everyone  else—you  take  action,  they  don’t.  If  you  do  this,  he  will  more  than  likely  be  happy  to  help  you  again  in  the  future.      

ACTION  ITEM  1. Find  three  people  you  would  like  to  mentor  you  who  are  one  or  two  

levels  above  you.    2. Look  for  any  advice  you  can  find  from  these  people  that’s  publicly  

available.  Read  their  books,  blogs,  social  media  profiles,  etc.  If  you  can  contact  them  personally,  ask  them  one—just  one—very  specific  question.      

3. Implement  their  advice.  4. Follow  up  with  them  on  your  results.  

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SECTION 7: Practice Objectivity

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In  every  situation,  there  is  the  event  itself  and  the  story  we  tell  ourselves  about  what  it  means.  There’s  the  observation  and  the  perception.    For  example,  the  phrase  “this  happened  and  it  is  bad”  is  a  combination  of  the  two.  The  observation—“this  happened”—is  objective.  The  perception—“it  is  bad”—is  subjective.  Being  able  to  recognize  the  difference  is  crucial.      Just  because  your  mind  tells  you  that  something  is  terrible  or  catastrophic  or  unwanted  doesn’t  mean  you  have  to  agree.  The  story  we  tell  ourselves  usually  makes  situations  worse  than  they  actually  are.    A  couple  weeks  ago  I  got  some  bad  news  from  the  doctor,  and  I  started  to  freak  out.  Until  I  remembered,  I’m  not  going  to  die  from  this.    Whenever  you  catch  yourself  starting  to  freak  out  over  something,  whenever  you  feel  that  anxiety  begin  to  creep  up  on  you,  stop.    Ask  yourself,  “am  I  going  to  die  from  this?”    Evolution  has  left  our  brains  wired  to  respond  to  danger  but,  in  most  of  our  day-­‐to-­‐day  struggles,  we  are  not  in  life-­‐or-­‐death  situations.    It  might  help  to  repeat  it  over  and  over:  I  am  not  going  to  die  from  this.  I  am  not  going  to  die  from  this.  I  am  not  going  to  die  from  this.  Once  we  are  able  to  control  our  nerves,  then  we  are  able  to  see  things  clearly—for  what  they  actually  are,  without  distractions,  exaggerations,  or  misperceptions.    Most  of  our  problems  come  from  applying  judgments  to  things  we  don’t  control,  from  creating  expectations  about  the  way  we  think  things  should  be,  as  if  there  were  a  way  they  were  supposed  to  be.    Here’s  how  you  can  stop  doing  that:

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Whenever  you’re  facing  an  obstacle,  remove  “you”—the  subjective  part—from  the  equation.  Take  your  situation  and  pretend  it  is  happening  to  someone  else.  What  advice  would  you  give  them?  Suddenly  you  will  know  exactly  what  to  do.    Just  think  about  how  easy  it  is  to  give  others  advice.  The  solutions  to  their  problems  are  crystal  clear  to  us.  We  wonder  why  our  friends  can’t  see  them—it’s  so  obvious  what  they  have  to  do.    But  when  we’re  dealing  with  our  own  problems,  we  become  completely  blind  to  the  obvious  solutions.    We’re  able  to  give  others  advice  so  easily  because  we  are  viewing  their  situations  as  a  third  party  (objectively).  But  when  we’re  the  ones  facing  problems,  we  lose  that  objectivity.    It  also  helps  to  expand  the  context  of  your  situation.    In  isolation,  the  obstacles  we’re  facing  may  seem  unfair  and  unbearable.  But  when  you  remove  yourself  and  look  at  the  bigger  picture,  you  see  that  everyone  faces  obstacles.  You  see  that  people  have  overcome  much  more  intimidating  ones  than  your  own.    While  we  can’t  change  the  obstacles  themselves,  what  we  can  do—and  all  that  really  matters—is  change  how  we  see  them  and  how  we  react  to  them.  

!ACTION  ITEM  Take  one  obstacle  you’re  currently  facing,  and  remove  yourself  from  the  equation.  If  someone  else  were  in  your  situation,  what  advice  would  you  give  that  person?  Take  that  advice.    

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SECTION 8: Take Control of Your Habits

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We  are  creatures  of  habit.    One  study  done  at  Duke  University  found  that  more  than  40  percent  of  the  actions  people  perform  in  a  single  day  are  done  out  of  habit.    It’s  no  wonder  that  there  is  a  direct  correlation  between  a  person’s  habits  and  his  or  her  level  of  success.    Take  a  look  at  this  infographic:  

Source:  http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/230918

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Are  your  habits  working  in  your  favor,  or  against?    If  you  want  to  be  successful,  find  the  people  that  are  where  you  want  to  be  and  copy  them.  More  specifically,  copy  their  habits.      We  all  know  that  changing  habits  is  hard,  but  studies  show  that  simply  understanding  how  habits  work  makes  them  easier  to  control.    The  first  thing  we  have  to  understand  about  habits  is  that  they  are  made  up  of  three  parts—the  cue  (or  trigger),  the  routine  (the  habit  itself),  and  the  reward.  This  is  often  referred  to  as  the  habit  loop.    It’s  also  crucial  to  understand  that  we  can’t  eliminate  a  habit;  we  can  only  change  it.  Meaning,  we  can't  remove  a  habit  without  putting  something  else  in  its  place—something  else  that  follows  the  same  cue  and  delivers  the  same  reward.    Finally,  a  great  way  to  ensure  that  a  habit  sticks  is  by  tracking  it.  One  way  of  doing  this,  often  referred  to  as  the  Seinfeld  method,  is  to  track  how  many  consecutive  days  you  can  succeed  with  your  new  habit.  Marking  an  X  for  each  day  that  you  succeed,  you  begin  to  create  a  chain.  The  goal  is  to  not  break  the  chain.    This  alone  is  extremely  helpful,  but  I  recently  read  an  article  by  Max  Ogles  that  takes  the  Seinfeld  method  one  step  further  with  what  I’ve  started  calling  the  3-­‐2-­‐1  method.  This  method  tracks  not  only  frequency  of  behavior,  but  also  quality.    Here’s  an  example  of  how  it  works.  Say  I’m  trying  to  write  for  a  minimum  of  1  hour  every  day.  Each  day  that  I  write  for  1  hour,  I  mark  that  day  on  a  chart  (I  just  use  an  Excel  spreadsheet).  But  instead  of  putting  an  X,  I  use  a  simple  3-­‐2-­‐1  scale  to  rate  how  well  I  did  it.  A  3  means  “Yes,  I  did  it”;  a  2  means  “I  did  it,  but  I  cheated  a  little”;  a  1  means  “No,  I  didn’t  do  it  at  all.”    At  the  end  of  each  week,  I  can  calculate  my  success  rate  by  adding  up  the  numbers.  Over  time,  I  will  have  sufficient  data  to  track  my  performance  and  notice  any  (hopefully  positive)  trends.  

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If  the  3-­‐2-­‐1  method  sounds  cool  to  you,  try  it  out.  If  not,  don’t.  It  doesn’t  matter  what  method  you  use,  the  most  important  thing  is  that  you  start  taking  control  of  your  habits—or  risk  letting  them  control  you.      

!ACTION  ITEM  Pick  one  bad  habit  that’s  been  holding  you  back  (watching  TV,  eating  junk  food,  spending  too  much  time  on  Facebook,  smoking,  drinking,  etc.).    Whatever  it  is,  break  it  down.  Figure  out  what  triggers  this  behavior,  and  the  reward  it  provides.    Then,  find  something  to  replace  it  (remember,  whatever  you  replace  it  with  must  follow  the  same  trigger  and  deliver  the  same  reward).    Example:  If  you  turn  on  the  TV  every  day  as  soon  as  you  get  home  for  stress  relief,  try  opening  up  a  book  instead.  Same  trigger,  same  reward,  better  habit.  

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SECTION 9: Read More

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Successful  people  read  A  LOT.      Warren  Buffet  says  he  reads  500+  pages  per  day.  He  estimates  that  he  spends  80  percent  of  his  working  day  just  sitting  in  his  office  reading  and  thinking.    In  an  interview,  Bill  Gates  was  once  asked,  “If  you  could  have  a  superpower,  what  would  it  be?”  He  responded,  “Being  able  to  read  super  fast.”  There  are  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  years  of  the  human  experience  available  to  us  in  the  form  of  books.  While  there  are  some  great  blogs  on  the  Internet,  books  are  so  much  better,  at  least  in  terms  of  ROI.  While  most  bloggers  might  spend  a  few  days  writing  a  blog  post,  authors  spend  years—sometimes  an  entire  lifetime—writing  a  single  book.    Reading  a  book  might  seem  like  a  big  commitment,  but  when  you  look  at  what  you  get  in  return  (years  of  knowledge)  for  that  commitment,  it’s  definitely  worth  it.      A  book  is  the  most  radically  condensed  form  of  knowledge  on  the  planet.    That’s  why  one  of  my  biggest  New  Year’s  resolutions  for  2015  is  to  read  more.  As  I’m  writing  this,  it’s  the  second  week  of  January,  and  I’ve  already  read  two  books.  That’s  two  more  than  I  read  last  year.    It’s  actually  a  lot  easier  than  it  sounds.  If  you  read  just  20  minutes  a  day,  you  can  finish  a  200  page  book  in  10  days  (assuming  a  rate  of  1  page/minute—if  you’re  a  slow  reader,  check  out  this  article  where  I  explain  how  I  increased  my  reading  speed  from  230  wpm  to  600+  wpm).    If  you  don’t  have  20  minutes,  then  do  10  minutes.  You’ll  still  be  reading

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more  than  a  book  a  month.    If  you  need  some  book  recommendations,  check  out  these  sites:  Tai  Lopez’s  Top  Book  Recommendations  Ryan  Holiday’s  Reading  List  

!ACTION  ITEM  List  three  books  you  want  to  read.  Now  go  get  them  (I’d  suggest  buying  them  from  Amazon,  it’s  usually  cheaper  than  a  bookstore).  

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SECTION 10: Write More

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Some  of  the  greatest  minds  in  history  were  famous  for  having  kept  daily  journals.    Marcus  Aurelius,  Benjamin  Franklin,  Thomas  Jefferson,  Winston  Churchill…  among  many  others.      Tim  Ferrris,  #1  New  York  Times  best-­‐selling  author  of  The  4-­‐Hour  Workweek,  gives  two  very  good  reasons  why  he  journals  nearly  every  morning:  1. It  helps  him  figure  things  out.    2. It  helps  him  get  on  with  his  day.  Or,  in  his  own  words:  “I’m  just  

caging  my  monkey  mind  on  paper  so  I  can  get  on  with  my  fucking  day.”  

Even  if  you  consider  yourself  a  terrible  writer,  writing  is  a  great  tool  that  you  can  and  should  use.  There  are  so  many  benefits  to  writing,  even  if  it’s  not  intended  for  anyone  but  yourself.    “Morning  pages,”  as  Tim  Ferris  calls  his  morning  journal  entries,  “don’t  need  to  solve  your  problems.  They  simply  need  to  get  them  out  of  your  head,  where  they’ll  otherwise  bounce  around  all  day  like  a  bullet  ricocheting  inside  your  skull.”  Putting  our  thoughts  onto  paper  gets  rid  of  all  the  noise  inside  our  heads  and  allows  us  to  focus  on  getting  on  with  our  day.  Tim  Ferris  concludes  with  the  following:    “Could  bitching  and  moaning  on  paper  for  five  minutes  each  morning  change  your  life?  As  crazy  as  it  might  seem,  I  believe  the  answer  is  yes.”  I  agree  with  him.  Writing  has  had  a  profoundly  positive  effect  on  my  life.    Whenever  I  feel  overwhelmed,  or  whenever  something  bad  happens  to

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me,  or  whenever  I  feel  like  I  have  no  idea  what  I’m  doing  with  my  life,  I  just  sit  down  and  write.    It  calms  me  down  and  helps  me  see  things  more  clearly.  It’s  almost  like  a  form  of  therapy.    But  people  also  write  for  other  reasons.    Entrepreneur  Robyn  Scott  talks  about  another  way  she  uses  writing  as  a  tool  in  her  life:    

!!!!!!!!It’s  harder  to  do  than  it  sounds.    I  started  implementing  this  30  second  habit  about  a  month  ago  and  it’s  helped  me  gain  so  much  more  value  out  of  the  things  I  experience  in  my  day-­‐to-­‐day  activities.  It  forces  me  to  pay  closer  attention  to  slight  nuances  that  I  would’ve  otherwise  missed  while  keeping  in  mind  the  bigger  picture.    It’s  entirely  different  than  note-­‐taking.  It’s  hard  work  deciding  what  few  things  count,  instead  of  just  writing  every  single  thing  down  like  we  often  do  in  meetings  or  lectures.  Deciding  what’s  important  is  sort  of  like  a  brief  mental-­‐sprint.  It  makes  your  brain  hurt.  It’s  the  same  idea  behind  the  Feynman  technique—taking  a  complex  idea,  simplifying  it,  and  putting  it  into  your  own  words.    In  part,  this  describes  my  motivation  for  writing  Collegetopia.    It’s  common  knowledge  that  one  of  the  best  ways  to  learn  something,  

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“Immediately after every lecture, meeting, or any significant experience, she takes 30 seconds—no more, no less—to write down the most important points.

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and  to  learn  it  really  well,  is  by  teaching  it  to  someone  else.  That’s  exactly  what  blogging  allows  you  to  do.    I’ve  learned  so  much  more  about  the  topics  I  write  about  on  Collegetopia  than  I  ever  would  have  otherwise.  Blogging  also  serves  as  a  form  of  personal  accountability.  When  I’m  writing  about  different  ways  to  become  successful,  I  often  go  back  to  what  I’ve  written  to  remind  myself  to  practice  what  I  preach.  A  lot  of  my  writing  is  nothing  more  than  advice  for  myself.    

!ACTION  ITEM  Take  30  seconds  to  write  down  2-­‐3  of  your  biggest  takeaways  from  this  section.

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SECTION 11: Enjoy The Present Moment

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My  biggest  fear  in  life  is  not  living  up  to  my  fullest  potential.    I  don’t  like  standing  in  one  spot  for  too  long,  because  when  you  stand  in  one  spot  for  too  long,  you  start  to  sink.  When  you’ve  sunk  too  far,  you  get  stuck.    I  don’t  ever  want  to  get  stuck.  But  sometimes,  because  I’m  always  rushing  from  point  A  to  point  B,  I  forget  enjoy  the  present  moment—the  only  thing  that’s  actually  real.  It’s  good  to  look  back  and  learn  from  your  mistakes,  and  it’s  good  to  look  forward  and  set  new  goals,  but  the  best  thing  you  can  do  is  look  at  what’s  around  you,  right  now,  and  appreciate  it.  That  doesn’t  mean  become  complacent.  It  means  be  grateful  for  what  you  have.    After  all,  this  moment  could  be  your  last.  There’s  no  guarantee  for  tomorrow.    Focus  on  what  is  right  here,  right  now.  Focus  on  what  is  in  front  of  you.  Whatever  that  is,  make  the  most  of  it.  Enjoy  it.      We  like  to  think  that  reaching  certain  milestones  in  our  lives  will  make  us  happier,  but  if  you’ve  noticed,  we  usually  don’t  end  up  feeling  much  different.  We  might  experience  a  short  burst  of  “happiness”  after  certain  milestones,  but  that  happiness  quickly  fades  away.  The  truth  is  that  happiness  doesn’t  come  from  money,  or  fame,  or  any  type  of  external  “success.”    It  comes  from  appreciating  every  passing  moment,  listening  to  every  person  you  meet,  and  contributing  what  you  can  to  every  situation  you  find  yourself  in.  It  comes  from  feeling  the  sun  rays  hitting  your  face  and  the  wind  blowing  through  your  hair.  When  you’re  happy  just  to  be  alive,  

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that’s  when  everything  else  falls  into  place.    Studies  actually  show  that  happier  people  are  generally  more  successful,  not  the  other  way  around.  I’m  sure  we  can  all  think  of  an  extremely  successful  person,  someone  who  seems  to  have  it  all,  who  is  far  from  happy.  They’re  completely  miserable,  and  they  have  no  idea  why.  That’s  what  happens  when  you  set  foot  on  what’s  known  as  the  “hedonic  treadmill.  ”    If  you’re  not  happy  now,  and  you  think  becoming  super  successful  will  finally  make  you  happy,  you’re  wrong.          If  you’re  not  happy  now,  in  this  very  moment,  you’ll  never  be  happy.  

!ACTION  ITEM  Write  down  three  things  you’re  grateful  for  right  now.  Here  are  three  things  I’m  grateful  for  right  now:  1. You.  The  fact  that  I  wrote  this  eBook  in  Los  Angeles,  and  now  you’re  

reading  it,  wherever  you  are  in  the  world.    2. My  education.  The  opportunity  to  be  attending  one  of  the  greatest  

universities  in  the  world.    3. My  girlfriend,  who’s  sitting  in  the  other  room,  waiting  patiently  for  

me  to  finish  writing  this  section  so  that  we  can  cook  a  delicious  Italian  dinner  and  drink  some  wine.  

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SECTION 12: Show Up Every Day

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The  following  is  an  anecdote  from  The  War  of  Art  by  Steven  Pressfield:  “Someone  once  asked  Somerset  Maugham  if  he  wrote  on  a  schedule  or  only  when  struck  by  inspiration.  ‘I  write  only  when  inspiration  strikes,’  he  replied.  ‘Fortunately  it  strikes  every  morning  at  nine  o’clock  sharp.’”  That  right  there,  is  how  you  become  successful  –  by  showing  up  every  day,  rain  or  shine,  whether  you  feel  like  it  or  not.    Amateurs  want  the  results,  but  they  don’t  want  to  follow  the  process.  At  the  beginning  of  a  new  endeavor,  they  are  overly  enthusiastic  and  they  have  unrealistic  expectations.  Of  course  they  fail.  They  set  themselves  up  for  failure  from  the  beginning.    Success  is  the  result  of  small,  but  consistent  improvements,  day  after  day,  week  after  week,  month  after  month,  year  after  year.    That’s  why  successful  people  prepare  their  minds  for  the  long  haul.  They  understand  delayed  gratification.  They  aren’t  discouraged  by  temporary  set  backs,  because  they  know  that  eventually—inevitably—they  will  get  to  where  they’re  headed,  no  matter  how  long  it  takes.    There’s  no  way  around  hard  work.  There  are  no  shortcuts.  You  have  to  put  in  the  time.    You  have  to  follow  the  process.    For  once,  forget  about  the  prize,  forget  about  the  end  goal,  and  just  focus  on  the  task  at  hand.  Focus  on  finishing  the  smallest  little  thing  you  have  in  front  of  you,  right  now.    Don’t  worry  about  what  you’re  going  to  do  after  that.  Take  it  one  step  at  a  time,  one  day  at  a  time.    Work  your  ass  off  and,  whatever  happens,  don’t  stop.  

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ACTION  ITEM  There’s  something  you  should  be  doing  right  now.  There’s  an  email  you  need  to  send,  or  a  workout  you  need  to  do,  or  an  assignment  you  need  to  get  started  on.  As  soon  as  you  finish  reading  this,  go  do  it.  

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Stefano  Ganddini  is  the  creator  of  Collegetopia.co,  a  blog  where  he  writes  about  unique,  and  sometimes  unusual,  but  incredibly  effective  things  that  will  help  you  start  making  small  changes  in  your  life  to  start  achieving  your  biggest  goals.    He  is  currently  a  senior  at  the  University  of  Southern  California  where  he  studies  systems  engineering.  He  is  on  four  different  merit-­‐based  scholarships.  He  started  his  senior  year  with  a  full-­‐time  job  lined  up  for  after  he  graduates,  and  last  summer  he  was  the  one  intern  at  his  company  (out  of  147  interns  in  the  nation)  that  was  selected  to  attend  a  conference  in  Las  Vegas  with  some  of  the  top  decision  makers  in  the  company.    Stefano  has  written  guest  posts  on  notable  sites  like  HackCollege.com    and  also  been  interviewed  on  the  podcast  shows  of  College  Info  Geek  and  Asian  Efficiency.    You  can  find  those  interviews  here:    This  Dude  is  Winning  at  College…  with  Stefano  Ganddini  (Ep.  44)    EP22:  Cold  Showers  w/  Stefano  Ganddini      

CONNECT  WITH  STEFANO  If  you  have  any  questions,  or  want  to  let  Stefano  know  what  you  thought  of  this  eBook,  you  can  connect  with  him  here:  Blog  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  |  Email  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR