1.2 active listening - national disability services · 1. preface this workbook is part of a series...
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Workbook1.2PersonCentredPracticeAcrossCultures
ActiveListening–unconditionalpositiveregardacrossculturesJuly2016
futures UPFRONT
ThisworkbookhasbeendevelopedforNationalDisabilityServicesby:BarbelWinter,ManagingDirector,futuresUpfrontandMariaKatrivesis,ConsultantandTrainerFirstpublished(July2016)©futuresUpfrontFormoreinformationandforpermissiontoreproducepleasecontact:futuresUpfrontemail:[email protected]:www.futuresupfront.com.au ProducedbyNDSNSWLevel18,1CastlereaghStSydney,NSW2000FundedbyNSWDepartmentofFamilyandCommunityServices.©ThispublicationiscopyrightAllrightsreserved.ExceptasprovidedintheCopyrightAct1968(Commonwealth),nouseofthiswork,whichiswithintheexclusiverightofthecopyrightowners,maybemade.ContactNDS0292563100ndsnsw@nds.org.auwww.nds.org.auAboutNationalDisabilityServicesNationalDisabilityServicesisthepeakbodyfornon-governmentdisabilityservices.Itspurposeistopromotequalityserviceprovisionandlifeopportunitiesforpeoplewithdisability.NDS’sAustralia-widemembershipincludesmorethan1000non-governmentorganisations,whichsupportpeoplewithallformsofdisability.NDSprovidesinformationandnetworkingopportunitiestoitsmembersandpolicyadvicetostate,territoryandfederalgovernments.
Table of Contents
1. Preface 21.1 Howtousethisworkbook? 21.2 Whatisthisworkbookabout? 31.3 Outcomes 31.4 Whoisthisworkbookfor? 31.5 Howlongwillittaketocomplete? 3
2. The Workbook 42.1 Whatisactivelistening? 4
2.1.1 Adefinition 42.1.2 Thecoreelementsofactivelistening 52.1.3 Whatmakesagoodlistener? 7
2.2 Activelisteningcross-culturally 82.2.1 1person,1community@1time 92.2.2 Keeplisteningandlearning 92.2.3 Useyourotherpersoncentredpracticeskills 9
2.3 UnconditionalPositiveRegard 9
3. Conclusion 13
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1. Preface
ThisworkbookispartofaseriesofresourcesforthedisabilityservicessectordesignedbyfuturesUpfrontforNDSwithfundingprovidedbytheNSWDepartmentofFamilyandCommunityServices;Ageing,DisabilityandHomeCare.
1.IndividualPractices–workingwithpeoplefromCALDbackgroundswithdisability
1.1Empathy–apracticetoconnectacrosscultures
1.2Activelistening–unconditionalpositiveregardacrosscultures
1.3Choicemaking–cross-culturaldifferencesandwhatcanwelearnfromthem
1.4ReflectivePractice–whydifferentpointsofviewmatter
1.5Workingeffectivelywithinterpreters
2.OrganisationalPractices–buildingaculturallyresponsiveorganisation
2.1Terminologyanddata–aguidetounderstandingculturaldiversityanddisability
2.2Makingthebusinesscase–whydiversityisgoodforbusiness
2.3Aculturallyresponsivepersoncentredorganisation–keyelements
2.4Leadingtowardsculturalresponsiveness–apracticalguideformanagers,teamleadersandcoaches
2.5Buildingadiverseworkforce–practicalstrategies
2.6Valuingbilingualworkers–strategiestorecruit,trainandretain
3.CommunityEngagement–workingalongsidediversecommunities
3.11Community@atime–culturallyresponsivecommunityengagementprinciplesandelements
3.2MakingLinks–networkingwithCALDCommunities
3.3Cross-culturalstory-basedmarketing–1story@atime
Thisworkbookispartof“IndividualPractices–workingwithpeoplefromCALDbackgroundswithdisability”series.
1.1 How to use this workbook? Thisworkbookcanbeusedinmanydifferentways,including:
´ Asaself-pacedlearningprogrambyanindividual
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´ Asaself-pacedlearningprogramforagroup
´ Aspartofformaltrainingorganisedbyanorganisation
´ Aspartofcoachingandmentoring.
Thisworkbookincludesexercisesandopportunitiesforreflections(whenworkingbyyourself)ordiscussions(whenworkingwithothers).
Thereisplentyofroominyourworkbooktotakenotesandmakecomments.
1.2 What is this workbook about? Thisworkbookisdesignedtobuildonandstrengthenyouractivelisteningskills.Usinganattitudeofunconditionalpositiveregard,youractivelisteningskillswillbestrengthenedtoworkmoreeffectivelyacrosscultures.Aswithallstrength-based,personcentredapproachesthepurposeistoassistyourfocusonpeople’spotentialandopportunities.Thisworkbookinvitesyoutothinkaboutcultureasoneofthosepotentials,anopportunityanda‘gift’toexploreandbuildon.
Werecommendyoualsousetheotherworkbooksinthe“IndividualPractices–workingwithpeoplefromCALDbackgroundswithdisability”series.
1.3 Outcomes Attheendoftheworkbookyouwill:
´ Beabletoidentifythecoreelementsofactivelistening
´ Thinkaboutthoseelementsandhowtheyworkcrossculturally
´ Explorepositiveunconditionalregardasaattitudetoassistyouractivelistening
1.4 Who is this workbook for?
´ Peopleinterestedinimprovingtheirculturallyresponsivepersoncentredpractice
´ Peoplewhowanttostrengthentheirlisteningskillsacrosscultures
´ Peoplewhowanttoknowmoreaboutunconditionalpositiveregardasapractice
1.5 How long will it take to complete? Thisworkbookshouldtakeabout45minutestoworkthroughandwatchsomeofthevideos.
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2. The Workbook
2.1 What is active listening? Withactivelisteningbeingidentifiedbymanypeopleasoneofthecoreskillsindeliveringservicesinapersoncentredway,itmightbeusefultogetasharedunderstandingofactivelistening,thecoreelementsofactivelisteningareandabetterunderstandingofwhatmakesagoodlistener.
2.1.1 Adefinition
Itisalwaysgoodtostartwithadefinition.Thereasonswefocusonactivelistening–notjustmerelylistening–isthatactivelisteningrequiresengagementfromthelistener.Activelisteningasksyoutobefullyengagingandrespondingtowhatisbeingcommunicated.
Hereisonewayofthinkingaboutactivelistening:
“(activelistening)requiresthatwegetinsidethespeaker,thatwegrasp,fromhis[sic]pointofview,justwhatitisheiscommunicatingtous.Morethanthat,wemustconveytothespeakerthatweareseeingthingsfromhispointofview”1
ThisquotefromCarlRogersisagreatintroductiontoactivelistening,becauseithighlightsthatthereissomuchmoretoactivelisteningthanjusthearingsomeone.
Reflections
Doyouthinkactivelisteningisanimportantskillwhenworkingwithpeople?Whatdoyoudowhenyouareactivelylistening?
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1Rogers,CandFarson,R:Activelisteninghttp://wholebeinginstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/Rogers_Farson_Active-Listening.pdf
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2.1.2 Thecoreelementsofactivelistening
Differentexpertshaveidentifiedslightlydifferentelementsasbeingcoretoactivelistening.
Belowabitofasummaryfrommindtools.comwhohavealsoproducedavideoifyouprefertowatchratherthan/aswellasread.
Video
https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
Theyidentify5keyelements:
1.PayingAttention
´ Givethespeakeryourundividedattention,andacknowledgethemessage.Recognizethatnon-verbalcommunicationalso"speaks"loudly.
´ Lookatthespeakerdirectly.
´ Putasidedistractingthoughts.
´ Don'tmentallypreparearebuttal!
´ Avoidbeingdistractedbyenvironmentalfactors.Forexample,sideconversations
2.Showingthatyouarelistening
´ Useyourownbodylanguageandgesturestoconveyyourattention.
´ Nodoccasionally.
´ Smileanduseotherfacialexpressions.
´ Noteyourpostureandmakesureitisopenandinviting.
´ Encouragethespeakertocontinuewithsmallverbalcommentslike‘yes’,and‘mmhh’
3.ProvidingFeedback
´ Ourpersonalfilters,assumptions,judgments,andbeliefscandistortwhatwehear.Asalistener,yourroleistounderstandwhatisbeing
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said.Thismayrequireyoutoreflectwhatisbeingsaidandaskquestions.
´ Reflectwhathasbeensaidbyparaphrasing."WhatI'mhearingis,"and"Soundslikeyouaresaying,"aregreatwaystoreflectback.
´ Askquestionstoclarifycertainpoints."Whatdoyoumeanwhenyousay.""Isthiswhatyoumean?"
´ Summarizethespeaker'scommentsperiodically.
4.DeferJudgment
´ Interruptingisawasteoftime.Itfrustratesthespeakerandlimitsfullunderstandingofthemessage.
´ Allowthespeakertofinisheachpointbeforeaskingquestions.
´ Don'tinterruptwithcounterarguments.
5.RespondAppropriately
´ Activelisteningisamodelforrespectandunderstanding.Youaregaininginformationandperspective.Youaddnothingbyattackingthespeakerorotherwiseputtinghimorherdown.
´ Becandid,open,andhonestinyourresponse.
´ Assertyouropinionsrespectfully.
´ Treattheotherpersoninawaythatyouthinkheorshewouldwanttobetreated.2
OntheotherhandCarlRogers,whocanbecalledoneofthe‘fathers’ofpersoncentredapproaches,digsmuchdeeperandyet,atthesametime,givesusmuchlessofa‘list’andmoreofwayofbeingwithhis3criticalelementsoflistening:
´ Listenfortotalmeaning(bothcontentandfeeling/attitude)
´ Respondtofeelings(acknowledgethefeelingsinyourcommunication)
´ Noteallclues(muchofcommunicationisnon-verbal)3
2from:https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm3Rogers,CandFarson,R:Activelisteninghttp://wholebeinginstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/Rogers_Farson_Active-Listening.pdf
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Reflections
Thinkingaboutyourownlistinyourreflectionsin2.1.1above.Doesyourlistofactivelisteningmatchtheelementsaboveoraretheredifferences?
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2.1.3 Whatmakesagoodlistener?
Wealllovebeinglistenedtoproperly,butmanyofushaveneverbeentaughthowtolisten.TheSchoolofLife,anorganisationcommittedtodevelopemotionalintelligencethroughthehelpofculture,hasdeveloped4tipsonhowtobeagoodlistener:
1. Encouragepeopletoelaborate2. UrgeClarification:don’tassume–clarify3. Don’tmoralise:acceptthatweareallvulnerable4. Separateyourdisagreementfromcriticisingtheperson
Aswithallskills,theyneedtobepracticedandusedregularly.
Video Hereisalinktoashortvideoifyouareinterested.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdbiZcNBXg
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Reflections
Rogerstalksaboutactivelisteningasgettinginsidethespeaker,tryingtograsporunderstandtheworldfromanotherpersonspointofview.Canyouthinkabouthowyoudothis?Ormaybeyourememberlasttimesomeonereallyactivelylistenedtoyou?
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2.2 Active listening cross-culturally Communicationstylesvaryacrosscultures.Thereisawholefieldofstudycalledcross-culturalcommunication(aswellasinter-culturalcommunication).Justputthosewordsinyoursearchengineandtherewillbeanexplosionoflinksonyourscreen.
Willactivelistening,asoneoftheskillsofpersoncentredpractice,workacrossallculturesandsituations?
Let’s‘test’oneelementfromthelistabove.
Forexample,oneoftheactivelisteningtipsaboveistomakeeyecontact.Yet,manypeoplesaythatmenandwomencommunicatedifferentlyandthattheylistendifferently.Menaresaidtostandnexttoeachotherwithoutmucheyecontacttotalkaboutimportantthings,whilewomenaresaidtohavealotofeyecontactandfaceeachother.Manyofushavealsoheardthatlookingdirectlyintotheeyesofanelderisasignofdisrespectinmanycultures,includingmanyAboriginalandTorresStraitIslandercommunities,whileexactlytheoppositeistrueforothercultures.
Inactivelylisteningtopeoplewhoaredifferentfromourselves,willweallhavetolearnabouthowactivelisteningworksindifferentcultures?
Justthinkingaboutethnicityalone–therearepeoplefromover200differentcountrieslivinginAustraliaandthatisnottakingintoaccountallthedifferencesandchangeswithinthosecommunities.Andontopofthat,
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wealsoknowthatnoculturalstereotypeistrueforallmembersofacommunity.Theaboveexamplesarenottrueforallmennorallwomen,norforallmembersofaparticularculturalgroup.
Thereforespecificculturalknowledge,aboutactivelisteninginourcase,mayormaynotbeuseful,becauseitmayormaynotbeapplicableinaparticularsituationwithaparticularindividual.
Wheretofromhereorisitalltoocomplicated?
Belowafewwaystothinkthroughthis:
2.2.1 1person,1community@atime
Youalreadyknowfromyourpersoncentredtraining,itisallabouttheindividual.Notwopeoplearethesame,eveniftheyhavethesamedisability,orthesamegenderorthesameethnicbackground.Itisalwaysonepersonatatime.It’sallabouttheindividual.
2.2.2 Keeplisteningandlearning
Whenthinkingaboutactivelistening,itisimportanttothinkofitjustasoneofyourskills.Oneskillwillneverworkinallsituations.Workingwithhumanbeingsisnotlikebeinganelectrician;wearenotwiredtostandardspecifications.
Wecanuseactivelisteningandwecanalsolearnmoreaboutdifferentaspectsofcommunicatingasyouworkwithsomeonewhoisdifferentfromyou.
2.2.3 Useyourotherpersoncentredpracticeskills
CarlRogersabovesaidactivelisteningistograspsomeone’smeaningfromtheirpointofview.Thismeansitistheroleofthelistenertotryandstepoutsidetheirownwayofseeingsomethingandtryingonsomeoneelse’sexperience.
Werecommendthatyouhavealookattheotherworkbooksinthisseries,especiallyWorkbook1.1onempathyandWorkbook1onreflectivepractice.
Toguideusinouractivelisteningskillsacrossdifferentcultures,thereisoneconceptorideathatisparticularlyusefulhere.Thisistheideaof–‘unconditionalpositiveregard’.
2.3 Unconditional Positive Regard WehavealreadymentionedCarlRogersabove.Hewasapsychologistwhointroducedtheideaofunconditionalpositiveregard.Hethoughtofitasanattitudetoadopt,anattitudethatstartsfromthebasicacceptanceandsupportofapersonregardlessofwhatthepersonsaysordoes.
Ifyoustoptothinkaboutthis,itisaverypowerfulaction:
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‘Toacceptaperson,regardlessofwhattheyhavesaidordone.’
Unconditionalpositiveregardisnotunconditionallove,infact,youreallydonothavetolovetheotherperson,youmightnotevenlikethem,butyouacceptandsupportthem.
Rogerswasatherapistandhedevelopedatherapeuticapproachcalled‘clientcentred’therapy.Thisworkbookisnotfortherapistsandyourworkwithpeoplewithdisabilityisnottherapy,butthatdoesnotmeanwecannotlearnfromwhathethoughtwereimportantelementsinpeople‘becomingandbeing’.Especiallyassomuchofwhathetalkedaboutformsthebasisofourthinkinginpersoncentredapproaches.
Rogersalsohasastrongfocusonempathy(anotherworkbookinthisseries)andhonesty(orcongruenceasRogerscallsit).
Ifyoubringamindset,anattitude,ofunconditionalpositiveregardtoyouractivelistening,yourlisteningwillbecomemuchmoreopenandacceptingofwhateverapersontellsyou.
Asyoubecomemoreopenandmoreacceptingyouwillalsobecomemorenoticingandwhileyoumaymakecross-culturalmistakes,thereisabetterchanceyounoticequickerandthenyoucanjustsayso“OhIjustnoticedthatmakingeye-contactmightnotbeappropriateinyourculture.Ifthat’sthecaseIapologise.”Andthenyoumoveon.
Comingfromapositionofunconditionalpositiveregard,yourwholewayofthinkingabouttheotherpersonisaboutacceptingthemwhotheyare(andtryingnottomakejudgementsaboutthem).Withamindsetofunconditionalpositiveregardyoucanpractisebeingmoreopenandlookingtowardsculturaldifferencesasanassetandadifferentwayofthinkingthatmightassistindoingyourworkalongsideanotherperson.
Asyoupractiseyouractivelisteningwillbecomemorefocusedontheotherpersonandlessfocusedonyourinnerchatter(“Whatinnerchatter?”youask?Well,theonethat’saskingthatquestionrightnow.)
Video
IfyouarenowmoreinterestedinRogersandwanttoknowmore,herealinktoaYoutubeclipcalled‘RogersInTenMinutes”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvejEpDRHmU
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Reflections
Whatdoyouthinkaboutbringinganunconditionalpositiveregardmindsettoyouractivelistening?Whatdoesittakeforyoutodothat?Aretherecircumstancesthatwillmakeiteasier/harderforyou?
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Workbook Exercise
Belowispartofacasestudyweintroducedinanotherworkbook.Canyouhavearead,andidentifyhowactivelisteningandhowanattitudeofunconditionalpositiveregardcouldhaveledtoadifferentoutcome?
Case study4
Diana is a young woman from Chinese background with physical disability. She was born in Australia and speaks fluent English and Mandarin and speaks both languages equally at home. She lives with her mum who came to Australia as an adult and speaks little English. Her father passed away a couple of years ago.
Diana made contact with a rehabilitation service to get some help with employment and specialist equipment. The first meeting with the case manager occurred at Diana’s home. The case manager spent some time gathering background information about Diana’s circumstances. Then she advised Diana about the need to be more independent and that she should start to plan towards moving out of
4CasestudiesusedwiththepermissionofDDAlliance(www.ddalliance.org.au)
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Case study4 home. Throughout the conversation the case manager kept referring to Diana’s mum as ‘your carer’ and suggested that she would appreciate ‘having her own space’.
A couple of days later Diana called the case manager and told her that she no longer required any service.
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3. Conclusion
Thisworkbookaimedtoassistyouinstrengtheningyouractivelisteningskillsandgiveyouanideaoftheconceptofunconditionalpositiveregardtohelpyoulistenwellcrossculturally.
Youmayalsowanttohavealookatsomeoftheotherworkbooksrelatingspecificallyto“IndividualPractices–workingwithpeoplefromCALDbackgroundswithdisability”series.
Reflections
Whataresomeofthetakeawaymessagesfromthisworkbook?Aretherethingsyoudisagreewith?Wastheresomethingthatsurprisedyou?
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