1008PSY Interpersonal Skills Assignment Word Count: 1650

The interaction (150 Words)

The following is an interaction with myself referred to as Malek or M and my cousin Danya (D) one afternoon at the gym.

Danya 1: Hey, whats going on? (Walks into change room)

Malek 1: Nothing much, how was work today? (Eye Contact, smiling)

D2: Work was shit, my manager wanted to see me today to talk about my shifts. (Walks in maintains eye contact and throws bag down)

M2: Oh, did she say something to you? (Looking down at phone)

D3: It doesnt matter (Sighs, Arms crossed, lower voice tone)

M3: (Puts phone down and maintains eye contact) You seem frustrated, you can tell me. Whats wrong?

D4: Shes trying to make me work on Saturdays when Ive told her before that I cant work on weekends. (Eye contact, straight posture, Hands on temples)

M4: Youre upset because youve told her before that you cant work on weekends and shes still trying to make you work then. (Maintained eye contact)

D5: EXACTLY its so annoying! I dont know what to say to her (Hand on hip, appropriate proximity, steady eye contact)

M5: Yeah I dont know, oh my god look behind you isnt that the lady from the party? (Distracted, Leaning back)

D6: I dont know, I think so. (Dull, rolls eyes)

M6: I didnt know she comes to this gym (Interested, no eye contact)

Effective communication skills are essential as part of the communication process. Individuals gain comfort, support, and recognition from this two way process. Usually a lack of response can send negative messages, which leads to ineffective interpersonal communication whereas a constructive response will send a positive message, which as a result leads to effective communication (Wright, 2007).

1. Identifying Effective Skills (8 Marks) How skills were effective (Identification and explanation) (4), Reference from literature (2), Refer to transcript (2)

Effective communication skills were displayed at M1, which assisted in the enhancement of this interaction. One form of interpersonal skills that I used that lead to effective communication was an open question. This was effective in the interaction because it encouraged my cousin to explain her feelings, thoughts attitudes and experience about her day at work and offered her the chance to provide me with a more in depth answer. Furthermore it also allowed my cousin the opportunity to express herself openly and honestly (D2). Open questions are used in order to draw out a wide range of responses on a broad topic, they often ask for opinions thoughts or feelings (Alessandra & Hunsaker, 2005). It is said that the use of an open question at appropriate times can help encourage the speaker to continue to speak (Griffith University, 2015). Alessandra & Hunsaker (2005) also state that open questions are a part of effective communication as they induce longer and more involved answers. They indicate a sign of interest in conversation to the speaker, by questioning to gain a better understanding of their point of view.

Another effective interpersonal skill that was revealed in the transcript is empathy and reflecting (mirroring skills). This was evident at M4, where I attended and followed what my cousin was saying. I then responded to my cousin by reflecting back to her the emotions that she had communicated nonverbally. This skill is effective because it shows my cousin that I was actively listening and engaged in what she had been communicating, by paying attention to her particular non verbal communication such as her body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and posture. By reflecting, it also allows her to become aware of her own emotions and move toward a solution. This skill demonstrated that I had empathised with her by putting myself in her situation. This allowed her the chance to validate my understanding if I had misinterpreted what was being conveyed which was not the case in this scenario(Griffith, 2015). Thomlison (1990) explains that empathic reflection is effective because the listener engages in a conversation where they attempt to understand and acknowledge the current feelings being experienced by the speaker. It involves not only the ability to hear what is said but understand meaning and recall facts, but also includes listening beyond words to the emotional or feeling component of the given message to gain an empathic understanding of our communication partner. It involves both cognitive and emotional abilities of the listener.

2. Ineffective communication

EYE CONTACT INEFFECTIVE

My lack of eye contact displayed in the interaction (M2) also demonstrated a disruption in the interaction, which was the cause of ineffectiveness of the communication between the two of us. The absence of eye contact alongside with having my attention on my phone symbolised my lack of interest in the topic. It conveyed the meaning to my cousin that I wasnt interested in what she had to say. This made my cousin feel insecure and uncomfortable with what she was going to say and no longer wanted to disclose any information with me. DeVito (2003) states that research on messages communicated by the eyes nonverbally can give various meaning judging on direction, duration and quality of the eyes behaviour. When there is lack of eye contact it can convey the meaning that youre not interested shy or preoccupied. This consequently is a sign of ineffective communication. This was evident when my cousin replied by saying Doesnt matter because she no longer thought that I was interested and was discouraged by my lack of eye contact.

Research conducted by Nussbaum (1992) shows that teachers that maintain eye contact with students are better and more effective outcomes of communicating learning and education whereas the teachers that did not maintain eye contact were less effective communicators.

1. Listening barriers- Derailing

At M5 the use of the listening barrier known as derailing lead to ineffective communication. This was ineffective because it abruptly intervened in the communication process. By changing the subject from the main focus where my cousin was disclosing her feelings and thoughts to me to suddenly getting off track and changing the subject completely it made my cousin not want to speak further. It was ineffective because by derailing the conversation combined with non verbal behaviour of leaning back it gave my cousin the impression that I was bored and no longer had an interest to listen to what she was talking about. (O'Toole, 2012) explains that awareness of barriers to effective listening will help to avoid disruption of the communication process. (Griffith, 2015) states that listening blocks prevent effective listening. Derailing is one of twelve listening blocks where an individual suddenly changes the subject or derails the train of conversation when you get bored or uncomfortable.

Observation of feedback from other person (4 Marks)

After I made an open question at M1 my cousin made eye contact with me and leant in toward me (D2). When my cousin maintained eye contact and leant forward toward me whilst simultaneously expressing her feelings and thoughts about her day at work, it indicated to me that I had communicated this open question at M1effectively. Her non-verbal and verbal communication both indicated that I had communicated effectively to receive an appropriate response that indicated successful transaction of the communication process.

At M2 I demonstrated ineffective nonverbal skills by the lack of eye contact and distractions caused by my phone. I noticed that when I did this my cousin didnt want to respond to my question and replied with doesnt matter. This was followed by her non-verbal behaviour, which included sighing, folding her arms and lowering her voice tone. At M2 I identified that I had ineffectively communicated because it discouraged my cousin to speak further.

Suggested Improvements (6 Marks)

At p4 I could have used an open question, asking an open question would have been more effective because I would have learnt more about how the person felt. Alternative skill.. Bieb recommend the use of open question for emotions.

At M2 I could have been maintaining eye contact to let my cousin know that I was listening. Also I could have used an open question instead of a closed question for example (M2) saying, What did she want to talk about? Would have been a more effective way of communicating with her. Effective nonverbal communication (maintained eye contact) combined with an open question would have let my cousin know that I was attentive, and interested. This would have let her explain her thoughts and feelings in depth without suspecting that I am not interested. Eye contact as a non-verbal cue has the power to direct the standpoint of a relationship in regards to being positive or negative. The observation of the situation will also be made clear if eye contact is maintained throughout the interaction, which will lead to an effective interaction (Senju, 2009).

I could have also improved the interaction with the use of tactile communication (M5). By placing my hand on her shoulder this would have communicated warmth and understanding. Combined with this I could have changed the way I responded by staying on topic and being assertive to express my opinion on the situation for example I could have said; I believe the best way to go about this is to speak to your manager and make it clear to her that you are not available on weekends in order for her to stop asking you to work then. Assertiveness will improve the interaction by Pearson (2013) acknowledges that by taking an assertive approach leads to a successful outcome of communication to maintain balance of my needs and the needs of others, in this case my needs are maintaining my close relationship that I have with my cousin.

Contextual factors (5 Marks)

Did historical context make it easier for me to use effective. My previous interaction with this person.

One of the contextual factors that impacted negatively on the interaction process was external noise. External noise includes sights or sounds that distract from the communication channel and interfere with the listeners clear reception of the message (Person, 2015). The constraint was that we were in a public place at the gym with people walking in and out, which subsequently distracted my attention from the message during the interaction (M5).

The social context is the type of relationship that already exists between individuals (Person, 2015). This provided an opportunity to improve the interaction because my cousin and I have an already established close relationship where we can disclose personal information with each other.

APA QUALITY OF WRITING (2 Marks)