1.droppdf.com1.droppdf.com/files/wmusu/pitching-to-win-over-the-fence...little girl who felt ashamed...
TRANSCRIPT
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PITCHING TOWIN
OVER THE FENCE, BOOK 1
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CARRIE AARONS
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CONTENTS
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
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Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
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Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
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Chapter 28
Epilogue
About the Author
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Copyright © 2015 by Carrie Aarons
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may bereproduced in any form or by anyelectronic or mechanical means,including information storage andretrieval systems, without writtenpermission from the author, except
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for the use of brief quotations in abook review.
This is a work of fiction. Names,characters, businesses, places,events and incidents are either theproducts of the author’simagination or used in a fictitiousmanner. Any resemblance to actualpersons, living or dead, or actualevents is purely coincidental.
Created with Vellum
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To my Sir, thank you foralways believing in me.
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“You’ve got to bevery careful if you
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don’t know whereyou’re goingbecause you mightnot get there.”
— YOGI
BERRA
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1
MINKA
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You know when people saythey would never, ever
want to go back to highschool? That its the mostvicious, awkward periodof life? Those whiners havenothing on me.
I shouldn’t have comehere. The sliver of doubtrings out clear-as-day inmy mind as I make my
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way through the throngsof people cluttering thebackyard.
I can practically readthe thoughts of mydrunken classmates, whothrow a mixture ofjudgmental and pity-filledlooks my way. “Why didMinka Braxton subjectherself to these parties?
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She’s so desperate.”Maybe they were right.
Was I so desperate to erasethe memories of my past inthis house that I’d submitto the temporary frozenstate my body assumedwhen I entered it?
No I wasn’t desperate. Ijust simply didn’t carewhat people thought about
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me anymore. Years ofridicule will do that toyour average teenage girl.
The entire school, notto mention town, hadcome out for thisbeginning-of-summerboozefest. Reaching thefar-most corner of thebackyard, I sit down at thedeep end of Jason
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Hinkley’s pool, slippingoff my leather sandals,letting my bare legs danglein the water. I take a dragfrom my bottle of wheatbeer, and let the muskysmell of humid June air,cheap beer and marijuanafill my nostrils.
Jason is one of therichest kids in Mitchum,
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hence the all-out ragers hethrows while his parentstravel to summer homesand ski lodges, and that'ssaying something.Mitchum, North Carolinais the picturesque upper-middle-class suburb. Withits tree-lined main streetand Ivy League-producinghigh school, this was every
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couple’s dream from themoment that doctor put abouncing baby in theirarms. Almost every kid Iwent to high school withgot a smart phone for their10th birthday, and a newcar on their 16th.
It’s not like I didn’thave friends; Chloe andKelsey were the ones who
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had insisted on cominghere tonight. But I’dalways been labeled thefool, the naive girl theysnickered at when my backwas turned. And mosttimes when it wasn’t.
Forget the preferencefor books over drugs, ormy affinity for movienights rather than
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sneaking out; my morehumble activities of choicehad always ruled me outof the inner circle. But thatfateful night two-and-a-half years ago, in anupstairs bedroom of thismansion, had solidified myostrazation.
Looking across the can-filled yard, I spot my best
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friends gyrating theirbodies to the hip-hop songbooming out of thespeakers. The noise spillsonto the makeshift dance-floor, otherwise known asthe patio. They clinghappily to each other,sloshing their drinks andmaking flirty-eyes at theguys standing around
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them.If only I felt free
enough to do thatanymore.
I was surprised as thethought crossed my mind.No, I didn’t yearn to be asboy-crazy as Chloe or asdaring as Kelsey, it justwasn’t in my nature. Butsometimes, I thought it
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would be fun to come outof my tightly-bound skin. Isimply couldn’t afford theconsequences, though.
I eye them, semi-jealous of Kelsey’s auburncolored hair that seemed tocascade around her slimbody, jangling in time withthe dozens of bangles shewore on her wrists. Kels
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was a total free spirit, asdemonstrated by the tealstreaks now peppering herlong locks, a hippie chickwho was all about peaceand love.
Chloe was the sweet,graceful one, with her litheballerina body, which shewas. A ballerina that is.Her tan Italian skin was
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the only thing thatcontrasted the normalballerina stereo-type shefit, but if anything it madeher even prettier. As if sheneeded it. Chlo was tallerthan both of us, withstraight jet black hair and asmile that made anyonewithin its path instantlywarm to her. I wouldn’t
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even be surprised if she’dtold me she’d landed adeal with some high-levelmodeling agent.
As if feeling my eyes onthem, Chlo and Kelsstarted to scream andmotion for me to come“get my groove on.” Ilaugh, shaking my head,waving my hand passively
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to let them know I washaving a good timepeople-watching. Theyrelent after a couple morepleas and go back toshaking it.
While they pushed me,I knew they loved andunderstood me. Of coursethey loved me, they hadstood by me at the
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toughest point of my life.Glancing down at the
orange-lit pool, I slice myscarlet-painted toes backand forth through thewater, enjoying the naturalbuzz coming on afterfinishing my second beer.
“What’s the matter,dancing isn’t really yourthing?”
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2
MINKA
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He tilts a smile my way, andI swear I can hear the
thud from my heartflopping over in my chest.
Standing before me is aguy so devastatinglyhandsome, its becomingincreasingly harder tobreathe. It feels like mybrain is short circuiting as Idrink him in. He towers
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above me at six foot three,and that wasn’t a guessbecause I’d studied thisparticular human atlength.
Would it be weird if Isank below the water’sedge to cool the burnflooding my cheeks? Okayyeah, he might think I wascertifiable.
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I work my way up,cataloguing as my eyesfeast on the khaki shortsstanding against muscularthighs, falling at his kneewhere tanned calves end inperfectly pristine whitehigh-tops. His navy blue t-shirt stretches across hisbroad chest wherepowerful arms are crossed,
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arms that I’d watched setthe school pull-up record.
God, I could stare at hisarms for days. Theyweren’t steroids big, Inever found that level ofmuscle attractive, but theywere built enough that thechorded ropes flexed as headjusted them in front ofhis body, and my heart did
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another little swoon.Glancing up into his
face, I had to make surenot to let out the gasp nowstuck in my throat. It wastan and chiseled; a strongjawbone and harsh cheeklines dotted by dark five’ oclock shadow. I’d neverthought facial hair wassexy, but his scruff made
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me want to change myentire stance. No ShaveNovember, sign me up,I’m a fan.
While the face waspurely masculine, his eyeswere all boyish; startlinglyblue, the color of sapphiresand sparking withsomething mischievous.His brownish blonde hair
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peeked out from under hisbaseball cap that satbackwards atop his head.
I’d definitely beenstaring at him for morethan a few minutes,because he was staring atme like I was either slow,or really obviouslychecking him out. Optiontwo, please.
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“Uhhh...um, partiesaren’t really my thing.”Smooth, Minka.
He sits down next tome, not close enough totouch but close enoughthat I can feel the heatradiate off him. His eyesroam over my face, and Ican feel my cheeks heatunder his stare. His lips
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turn up at the corner, andhis baby blues level me.
I feel stuck to thepavement, and the musicbecomes muted as I focuson the chills working theirway up my spine despitethe summer heat. He tipshis head back and takes along chug from his bottleof beer, and I watch his
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throat bob as he swallows.And suddenly I want to bethe rim, touching his fulllips. This guy makestaking a sip look sexual. Abead of the foamy brewclings to his bottom lip,and I have the strongesturge to lean forward andswipe it away with mytongue.
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“Ah I see, you justcome to sit by the pool andget drunk alone. Is thatyour thing?” He smirks.
The ticker on mybullshit meter notches up afew pegs. Mistrustsimmers in my gut, afterall, my instinct is well-honed after years of snidecomments and jabs thrown
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my way. I didn’t needsummer to start by beingthe victim of my peers’latest prank.
Someone had probablytaunted this hot specimento go tease the loser, knockher down a few levelsmore. They had to havecaught on that, in the lastyear, I’d steeled myself to
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the torment. I’d simplystopped caring so much,and had made a promisethat senior year would bedifferent.
Disappointment sitsheavy in my stomach, for asplit second I had actuallyhoped he was into me. ButI know where hope gotme.
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“Typically I crack opena bottle of Jack by myself,but I thought tonight itmight be fun to feel otherpeople’s sweat drippingdown my arms on thedance floor or watchdrugged out teenagersawkwardly paw at eachother in public.” Sarcasmis my greatest weapon,
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and I use it liberally.He barks out a laugh.“Well then, I promise
not to awkwardly paw atyou. I’d like to think myskills are better than that. Iwas only trying to see if Imight join you. You see,other people’s bodilysecretions aren't my thingeither,” he winks, “I’m
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Owen by the way.”Of course, I already
knew that...although he’djust proved he definitelydidn’t remember me.Owen Axel, Mitchum’sgolden boy, former all-state pitcher and all-around stud. He’s athletic,handsome, talented, smartand two years older than
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me.He is on a full-ride to
Grover University andheaded for the majors, orso everyone said. Everyoneknows Owen andeveryone likes him, andany girl at this partywould drop their pantiesfor him in an instant. Anygirl except for me.
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Ok so maybe itwouldn’t be an instant, buta few minutes, if I washeavily persuaded byalcohol.
“I know who you are.Aren’t your boys lookingfor you right about now?Isn’t a funnel calling yourname?”
Owen and his crew
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always turn up at thesethings in the summer.School is out and the boyscome back to town, readyto relive their glory daysfor the three months theycould. They came back,hooked up with the samepopular girls whotormented my everydayschool existence, and
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generally all basked intheir entitledawesomeness.
I can make out hisaquamarine orbs flashingin amusement as the sunslowly descends behindhim. My heart beats in awild thrum just having hiseyes on me, and I can feelmy hands start to sweat.
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Damn it if I wasn’t furiousat my body betraying me. Ican’t let him get even onepoint to use against me ifhe was going to reportback to his cronies.
“Alright snarky. WhileI love a beautiful girl witha sharp tongue, it might bebetter if she wasn’t astranger.” Owen smiles,
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ignoring my question. Herubs a big calloused handover his jaw, and I have tofight the urge to reach outand trace that line too. Soapparently my body hasdecided to ignore the “Wewon’t cater to the popularpeople anymore,” memo.
Wait, did he just callme beautiful? My neck
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joins my hands in thesweatfest, and I’m sure hecan hear the pulse beatingrapidly at my neck whilehe just stares expectantlyat me, a lock of golden hairflopping out of his hat andlanding on a chiseledcheekbone.
Why am I getting soworked up? I’ve been prey
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to this kind of pursuitbefore, in this backyard infact, and I had swornnever to fall victim to itagain.
“Minka. Although weshared an entire semesterof physical education yoursenior year, so I’d say weare most definitely notstrangers.” I shrug as I
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glance towards thedirection of the dancefloor. Chloe and Kelscuriously stare at me, notso subtly throwingthumbs-up.
He looks confused andtaken aback by myconfession, but onlymomentarily. He recovers,bringing back that mega-
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watt smile, almost makingme forget why I avoidedguys like him at all costs.
And then he opens hismouth.“Nah, I wouldn’tforget a pretty face likeyours, Minka.”
I roll my eyes andmove to get up, thebullshit meter nowbasically full with all I can
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handle. All I’d wanted wasa quiet night, no drama,and maybe a beer or four.“Ok, Casanova, I get thatthis totally works for you,and by now your chosensorority sister’s thongwould be in pieces on thefloor, but believe me whenI tell you, it’s really notgoing to happen.”
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I move hastily towardsthe house, ready asanything to down anotherbeer and soothe thebutterflies in my belly. It’snot like I wanted OwenAxel, but he is just soattractive. Not even myhardened exterior canresist blushing afterreceiving the full force of
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his lazy grin.As I hit the patio and
slither between bodies tothe back door, my headturns, seemingly on itsown, as if it can feel hispull. Looking at the spot Ihad just fled, Owen standsthere, his now almostindigo-eyes pinning me inthe crowd. I can see the
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molten heat flowing out ofthem, directed specificallyat me. A faint smile ghostshis lips. He is sobreathtaking that its as ifthe spot I was standing onhad just been engulfed inflames.
I was definitely goingto need another beer.
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3
MINKA
“
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God my head feels like afucking jackhammer
drove through it.” I waketo Kels cursing andwrithing about in myqueen-sized bed. Lookingto my right, I notice Chlostirring as well, sleep allbut ended by Kelsey’sbitching and moaning.
“You can’t drive a
“
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jackhammer, but I am inthe pits of hell with you.”Chloe moans as she jams apillow over her head.
Sun streams into myroom, blanketing theyellow walls and causingme to throw off the covers.Snuggling with my bestfriends was a favorite past-time, but lately that past
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time involved more late-night wasted stumble-insand less scary movies andpopcorn. Kels and Chlohad gotten fall-downdrunk last night, resultingin me half-dragging themto my room. If my dadweren’t so oblivious, orspending every freeminute of his time at the
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station, we would neverhave a place to crash.
That’s right, prettyironic that the PoliceChief’s house was the go-to crash pad for underagegirls after a night ofpartying. But being foundout would require myfather to stay at home formore than three minute
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intervals, which he mostcertainly didn’t.
He spent every waking,and a lot of times non-waking, moment at thestation patrolling his force.Not that I blame him, hesimply can’t bare to be inthe house he’d once sharedwith my mom. He wasn’t abad father by a long shot;
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he kept a roof over myhead, made a decent livingas the top dog in thispricey town and I neverwanted for anything.Except maybe a little loveand attention.
“This hangover waswell worth it though. Thatparty was bangin’, and doI ever mean bangin’.”
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Kelsey winked at me,wiggling her butt in the airas she grinned.
I did notice she’ddisappeared there for awhile last night, and I hada sneaking suspicion Brycewas involved. He was herman of the moment, or atleast of the past couplemonths. Kelsey believed in
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serious sex and casualrelationships. She’d ratherhave orgasms thancommitment.
“I feel like an elephantis sitting on my bladder,”Chloe whines as shestumbles for the hall in anattempt to find thebathroom. I have nevermet anyone who had to
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pee as often as my bestfriend, I honestly didn’tknow how she sleptthrough the night. Muchless made it through anentire performance ofSwan Lake.
“Can we please talkabout Mink’s steamyconvo with none otherthan Owen Freaking
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Axel!?” I hear Chloe shoutfrom the open bathroomdoor. Another thing Chlohadn’t mastered,boundaries.
“Oh em gee, I seriouslyalmost forgot about that.Seriously Mink, what washe saying to you!?” Kelsscreeches in my ear,suddenly catapulting
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herself to a kneelingposition on the bed. Guessher “headache” was longgone.
“He wasn’t sayinganything, besides the usualidiotic stuff guys like himsay,” I turn my body awayfrom Kels, trying to hidethe deception I know islingering in my eyes.
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“Oh no, did you snapat him? I will kill you ifyou murdered your ownchance to romanceMitchum’s star child,”Chlo sighs, shaking herhead as she falls back ontoher designated side of thebed.
“Yeah, Chlo, he reallyhad feelings of romance
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towards me. Those feelingswere located right in hispants…” Chloe wasalways grumbling onabout trying to find a manwith a sensitive side. Goodluck with that. “It reallywas nothing guys. Hedidn’t know who I was,fed me some line aboutbeing beautiful and
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wanting to join me by thepool, and I left. You knowI see through thattransparent crap now.” Istare at the ceiling, willingthem to move on toanother topic.
“Woah, woah hold up!He called you beautiful?Owen Axel called youbeautiful and you didn’t
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automatically jump hisbones? You are some kindof super human. I wouldhave been on my backfrom the minute his eyeslanded on me.” Kels scoldsme, sighing as she inspectsthe split ends of herauburn mane.
“From you I’ll take thatas a compliment. Plus,
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jumping someone's bonesat a party is just so me,right?” I fire back, harsherthan I meant it to sound.
“Oh Minka, that’s notwhat I meant. Not everyguy is like him.” Kelssqueezes my hand underthe sheet, but cocks herhead. “Wait, they kind ofare….but you need to beat
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them at their own game.Don’t give them the powerto take you down andeverything gets sooo muchbetter. So much,” shewaggles her lighteyebrows at me, clearlyinsinuating what thebenefits of taking her ownpower brought.
“She’s right. At least
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about the first part…notevery guy is the scum ofthe earth,” Chloe chimesin, rubbing my back. “ButI’m telling you Mink,you’re going to have totake a chance someday. Ihonestly don’t know howyour heart is surviving.”
“Can we please dropthis?” I plead as my cheeks
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heat with this latestromance insight by Chloe.“He’s a player andprobably only came up tome on a dare, or becauseAllison wasn’t there yet.”
“Ugh that hoe-bag wasthere alright. She spilledan entire beer down myleg and proceeded todeath-stare me like it was
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somehow my fault. Thatbitch is nastier than myAunt Felicia’s pet poodle.”Kels grumbles. She reallydoes have a way withwords.
Allison Renner wasyour typical queen bee.Head of the cheerleadingsquad, one of the richestkids in town, she drove a
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convertible BMW and Iwouldn’t be surprised ifher bleach blonde manewas insured. She andOwen had dated almostour entire sophomore year,until he broke it off beforeleaving for college. Owenand Allison, thestereotypical teenagegolden couple. They’d
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won Homecoming King &Queen, made out in thehalls between periods andthere was a rumor wayback when that she’d befollowing him to collegewhere they’d live together.Excuse me while I vomit inmy mouth.
I ignore the twinge inmy chest as memories of
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Owen pinning Allison tothe nearest locker flood mybrain’s personal movietheater. Why would I evencare? Its not like I want tobe anything like her.
No, but after last night,my body had started towarm to the idea of beingwith him.
“Whatever, we don’t
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need to waste anymoretime on her. You guyswant some cereal?”
“Ugh, we need to startstaying at Chlo’s moreoften, Mama Trabuccoalways has homemadepastries. Mmmm, thosedelicious ones withchocolate and almonds inthe middle…” Kels whines
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as she strolls to the dresserand begins to brush herhair, “Anyways, no, I gottahead to the preserve.”
Kels spins her tendrilsaround until they form aneat knot on top of herhead, which she secureswith a bright orange hairtie. She’s worked for herfather at the Mitchum
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Nature Preservation sincegrade school. She didn’tneed to work, her parentsare wealthy non-profit do-gooder types, but Kels is sopassionate about natureand animals that it wasmore like fun than work.
“Yeah I have to go too.Church first, and thenmama promised to take me
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shopping for new leotards.Of course I’ll sendpictures. I think I want afew more—”
“Let me guess, pinkones?” Kels finishesChloe’s sentence with aneye roll. Chlo lives foranything pink, she is theultimate girly-girl. Kels,the proverbial tomboy of
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our group, gets off onteasing her about it.
“Yes, and maybe I’lleven get a black one, tomatch your soul.” Chlosticks her tongue out asshe slides her feet into herpink flip-flops. Chlo’sfamily owns a string ofhighly successful ItalianRestaurants. Most of them
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are Zagat-rated, which issaying a lot consideringthis is North Carolina,home of fish fry and ribs.And with her Italianfamily values, attendingchurch on Sunday was anabsolute. The only excusethat got her out of it wasrecitals or a performance. Imight have had two left
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feet, but watching my bestfriend dance was likewatching God perform amiracle. She really isdestined to be a primaballerina.
We make our way intothe foyer of my father’ssprawling ranch. You’d besurprised how much thepeople of Mitchum paid
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their Chief to keep any andall scandal out of thepapers. I leave out crimebecause, really, the mostthat happens here is a catgets stuck up a tree orsome cocky boys steal beerout of someone’s garage.
“Aight’ bitch, we out.Call us later if you want todivulge any hot fantasies
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about Mr. Axel,” Kelswinks, licks her lips, blowsme a kiss and is out thedoor.
“I’ll text you. Let’s getdinner tonight, or watch amovie or something. Youaren’t allowed to sit on theporch reading books allsummer,” Chlo shoots mea stern look before
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wrapping her arms aroundme.
“But what if I likebooks better than people?Wait, rephrase that, I dolike books better thanpeople. So, let me live.”
“Oh, stop. Love you,see you later.” I close thedoor behind her andsurvey my surroundings.
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It’s not that our house isn’tbeautiful, it just doesn’tlook like anyone lives here.The whole place hasalways reminded me ofone of those extended-stayhotels. It lacks all thehomeyness I’d come toenvy when visiting myfriends’ houses.
I walk back towards
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my room, which at leasthas a little more flare.Pictures of me, Chloe andKelsey hang around thewood mirror over mydresser, lotion andperfume bottles sitting inrows underneath them.Having a slight touch ofOCD, ok maybe more thanslight, I organize my closet
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in color-coordinatedsections by season. Yes,admitting to addiction isthe first step to recovery.
One of my favoritethings about my room ismy bookshelf, or should Isay wall of books. One ofthe only fatherly gesturesChief Braxton has shownme in the past decade was
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installing that wall of built-in shelves in my room.
Books overflow fromthe brims of the ceiling-high towers, and it calmsme just to have all of myfavorite stories at the touchof my fingertips. Circling, Ifocus in on the nightstandthat contains, in thebottom drawer under a
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stack of notebooks, theonly picture of my motherI’d ever come across.
Deciding not to sufferin the silence of my emptyhouse, or be left alone withmy Owen thoughts, I pullopen my closet doors andgrab my Nikes. Time toclear my head, andrunning always did the
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trick.
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4
OWEN
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Sweat pours off myshoulders as the North
Carolina sun beats downmy back. I always forgethow fucking hot it is herein the summer. At schoolin Virginia, it is a little lesshumid. Or at least less likethis swamp-air I’m tryingto run through.
My legs pump in a
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rhythmic motion as myfeet pound the pavementin Mitchum Park. My bodyvibrates with adrenaline, Iknew running would clearmy head. Plus, I’d missedthis park. These trails. Theheavily-wooded park thatlay the outskirts of town.
I need my head clearthese days, I prayed for it.
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With only one thoughtplaguing my every wakingmoment, making it to thebig show, I felt a little likea hamster on a wheel.Making it. The MLB. It hadbeen drilled into my headsince the day my former-pro father found out I wasleft handed.
Carter Axel, all-star
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first baseman, had madesure his only son would bea great pitcher someday.Whether I wanted that ornot.
Regardless of myunfortunate biological ties,I’m happy to be back inMitchum for the summer.Seeing my boys, partyingand no games for three
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months. And last nighthad proven to be a greatkickoff to what I keptthinking of as my last lazysummer. Except for theone little hiccup, Hinkel’sparty had kicked ass.
So why can’t I stopthinking about the hiccup?Chicks always come soeasily to me. Talking them
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into bed, out of theirunderwear, and sendingthem on their way with asmile. Its what I did, and Iwas good at it. Great at it.So how had I managed tosingle out the one girl whowas apparently allergic tomy charm?
Minka Braxton is cute.No, not cute. She’s
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gorgeous and sexy in agirl-next-door way. Shehas no idea how attractiveshe is, but exudes thisbrazen confidence throughevery pour. She is awalking contradiction.
When I’d spotted heracross the lawn atHinkley’s party, it was all Icould not to trip over my
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feet trying to get there first,before another guy couldswoop in on what Iwanted.
Her slim, tan legswafting in the water,meeting her tiny waisthidden by those sexy-as-fuck jean shorts. Her whitetank top highlighting theway her tits pushed
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together, revealing sometan, sun-freckled cleavagebut concealing so muchmore.
I wanted to find outwhat was concealed, andfor a couple seconds all Icould think of was whatthey would feel like in myhands. She had elegant butmuscular arms that held
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onto that beer, and whenshe took a long, lazy pullfrom that bottle, my dicktwitched to attention.
Yeah, her body isslammin’, but it was herface that had me pushingpeople aside to reach herfrom across the backyard.
Minka has highcheekbones in a rounded
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face, with features thatmake her look like amediterranean model.Dark brown pools conveyher every emotion, andflashed with a bit ofuncertainty and annoyanceas she surveyed the party.A slender hooked nose tiedher face together, and Iautomatically wanted to
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plant a kiss on it. Whichwas not my usual game,but even before I’d spokento her I knew this girlwouldn’t be my typicalconquest.
Long, unruly browntendrils hung down herback, and my fingersitched to wrap themaround my hand as I
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yanked back to feast on herperfect collarbone. Andher mouth, god, I don’tthink I could focus on ittoo long or I’d keepimagining those plump,peach lips on my own.Kissing down my body. Orbetter yet, wrappedaround my cock.
So, I was an idiot for
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not realizing she was fromMitchum, much less thatshe had shared a gym classwith me for four wholemonths. I was actually stillkicking myself for that one,how had I been so close tothat beautiful creature andnot noticed?
Her sarcasm and bitingcomebacks surprised me,
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no chick had ever talked tome like that. Usually theydidn’t even do muchtalking. But it actually leftme wanting more. I wassurprised I wasn’t droolingon her halfway throughher verbal attack.
As if my mind couldconjure her, I focus in on aperfectly rounded ass
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jogging at a steady paceabout 30 feet up the trail.When I see the mass ofcurls tied back andswishing just above herlower back, I don’t eventhink and break into asprint. This girl is alreadyaffecting my usual game inall sorts of ways.
Pulling up closely
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behind her, I turn downthe rock music I’d beenblasting in myheadphones.
I can hear the rap musicbooming so loudly in herears that I know Minkadefinitely didn’t hear mesneak up behind her. Iwatch as she trots alongfor a few minutes, rapping
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the lyrics under her breath.Damn, she can do thatpretty well for someonewho’s keeping pace with anine-minute mile.
Her perky ass tauntsme and my dick, whichcan’t seem to stayanywhere lower than semi-erect around her.
She moves her body
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fluidly, arms matching thepace and rhythm of hershapely legs. Sweatgathers on her neck and allI want to do is to take herdown and lick every inchof her gleaming figure. Shelooks pretty doingsomething that made mesmell like a sweatyjockstrap. Where had this
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girl been all my life?Still not aware of my
presence, I decide it’s timeto stop being a stalker andannounce myself. Buthow? I’d like to think Icould give that peach of anass a spank. But fuck, asmuch as my hand isitching to, Minka wouldprobably use my
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headphone chords tostrangle me.
She loathed me tryingto cheaply seduce her lastnight, I had a feeling shemight murder me with herbare hands if I touched herwithout asking.
Moving forward, I fallinto step with her andlightly tap her tan, bare
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shoulder. My dick rears upfrom just the contact withher flesh. If I am ever luckyenough to seduce this girlinto my bed, I will for surehave to excuse myself tojack it before we got downto business. Wouldn’twant to embarrass myselfin front of her.
She immediately
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stiffens and looks back, amixture of fear and furypainting those beautifulfeatures. She’s afraid?What’s she got to be afraidof?
I move quickly in frontof her to block her path,trying to make her awarethat it was only me. But, Ihadn’t anticipated my
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movements throwing heroff balance.
As she turns back, Imove around her, forcingher to turn her head on adouble-take. This takes herattention away from herfeet, which are nowtangling and giving outfrom under her. I watchthe surprise on Minka’s
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face, almost in slowmotion, as she begins tofall, and I immediatelyreach out to grab her waist.
Dragging herdescending form towardsme, she throws my centeroff balance and we beginto fall together. We’regoing down, and secondsbefore we hit I angle my
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body under hers so that Itake the brunt of it.
Grunting on impact,my lower back andshoulders make contactwith the gravel. Webounce and skid, once,twice, before coming to astop. I can already feel cutson my calves from wherethey’d scraped along the
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ground. But all is forgottenthe moment I realizeMinka is lying flushagainst me, with my armshooked around her hips.
Looking down, I cansee the tops of her breastspeeking out of her sportsbra. The mounds aredotted with tiny sunfreckles and I swear I
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imagine laying her downin my bed and countingthose endlessly. I can feelthe sweat on her waist andmy hand moves slowly tothe curve of her lowerback, relishing her silkyskin as my cock pressesagainst her tight stomach.
Down boy, I have afeeling we are about to be
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scolded. And I was right,for when I finally meetthose beautifully roundedeyes, its as if I’d pissed offan extra-gnarlyrattlesnake.
“What the hell?! Areyou fucking crazy?” Minkaexplodes, pushing off ofme.
My dick surges
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forward as the curse fliespast her lips. Nothing getsme harder than a girl witha dirty mouth. But nowwas most definitely not thetime.
“Are you ok, you’re nothurt?” I voice my concernas I start to get up, alreadyfeeling my sore tailboneprotest the movements.
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“Why the hell did youdo that?” She starts to stalkaway, and my eyes roamover her body, checkingfor scrapes or bruises. Sheseems fine, but I have tojog to keep up with her.
“Sorry, I saw youahead of me and wanted toget your attention. I had noidea you had the grace of a
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newborn pony. It’s not myfault you couldn’t hear me,what with the rap partygoing on in your ears.”
Her face reddens andshe casts her eyes to theside, as if she’sembarrassed that I’d foundout her music taste.
“Why did you lookafraid when I tapped on
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your shoulder?”Now she looks a little
pale. It shouldn’t turn meon, but her face is just soexpressive. “I thought youwere….someone else…never mind.”
I walk backwards infront of her as she tries tooutrun me.
“Are you always going
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to try and run every time Iwant to talk to you?Because it's going to bemighty hard to tear yourthong to pieces—” I breakoff as she stops dead in hertracks, proceeds to punchme rather hard in the arm.
“Listen up Golden Boy,and listen good. I have nointerest in having a
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conversation with you, noram I going to drop mypanties any time you sniffin my direction. You and Ireally have nothing incommon, and I’m far fromyour usual damsel-slut indistress, so keep yourhands off me, and leaveme alone.”
God, she’s sexy. Her
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dark mocha-coloredponytail drapes sexily overher shoulder as raw angerpours from her slim figure,and the gleam in her eyescould spark a fire. It wasall I could to keep fromhauling her over myshoulder and showing herwhat I could do with myhands.
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“So you think I’m aGolden boy, eh?” I wink ather, licking my lips over-enthusiastically.
For a millisecond,Minka’s eyes drop to mymouth and I can seeblatant desire flash inthose dark chocolate pools.And then she takes off. Ineed to sprint to catch up
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to the vicious pace she’snow keeping. Pullingahead of her and stoppingshort, I cut her off,effectively stopping her.
“Ok look, I’m sorry. Iwanted to get yourattention and it totallybackfired. I promise tokeep my hands off of youuntil you positively beg
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me for it,” I throw herwhat I know is my mega-watt smile. “But, can youplease take me somewhereto clean out these cuts?” Imotion to my legs andsend up a prayer that myplan to buy more timewith her will work.
“Do I look like yourcandy-striper? You caused
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your pain, you can surelyclean it up.”
Ah shit, now I waspicturing her wearing ashort little red nurse’suniform and that reallywasn’t doing anything tohelp my swelling boner.But I really can’t go back tomy parent’s like this. Myfather would lock me in
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the house for the rest of thesummer for fear of injuringhis MLB prodigy.
“I can’t go home likethis. My dad would have aconniption if he knew I’dbeen doing anythingbesides preserving mybody for baseball. Please,seriously you have to helpme.”
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I see a flash of emotionin her eyes, it reminds meof something very close topity, which makes mescowl. I don’t need thisgirl’s pity. Minka turnsaround and starts walkingdown the path. Just when Ithink it’s a lost cause, sheyells back without lookingover her shoulder.
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“Fine all-star, you cancome over and grab someBand-Aids. I’m warningyou though, even thinkabout pulling anotherstunt like that and you’llbe hurting a lot worsewhen it comes to thingsthat involve balls.”
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5
MINKA
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Ok, so I caved. But in mydefense Owen was
standing there with sweatglistening down his drool-worthy arms. They looklike steel encased in tansmooth leather. And hisshirt was soaked through,so much that I could see itclinging to a six…. no,make that eight, pack. It
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just wasn’t a fair fight.And he had this
slightly panicked look onhis perfect face when hementioned his father. Allof my lady parts wereyelling at me, drowningout my common sense. So Iagreed to be his candy-striper. But I still had myhead about me.
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He didn’t have torealize that I’d crumbledwith just a glance at hisvery tight stomach. I wasmainly trying to deny howheat had pooled in mybelly when I was flushagainst his perfect body.My lady parts had beenentombed about a yearago, never being heard
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from again, and I couldn’teven lie to myself that Iwanted the sensationsdown south to stop.
And he was making itclear from the get go whathe wanted, not leading meon with promise of aforever, or even a rightnow. No hope, no chanceat getting hurt, right?
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We walk through thefront door of my house,and I’m just waiting for thecomments about howsmall my moderately sizedabode is compared to hisparent’s estate. But when Isneak a glance to my right,Owen’s face is neutral, as ifhe doesn’t even notice.
“You can sit there
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while I grab somesupplies,” I motion to thekitchen table and make myway to the designatedmedicine cabinet in ourkitchen. I grab hydrogenperoxide, cotton balls,gauze and bandages.Heading for the table, Ilook up and halt. Andsuddenly there is
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hydrogen peroxiderunning into my shoe.
Sitting backwards on achair, with his big bodyslumped over the rungs, isOwen Axel. Completelyshirtless. In my kitchen. Ithink my mouth is hangingopen but I can’t seem toshut it.
“I….um...oh shit,” I
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mumble as I feel mysneaker becomingimmersed in peroxide.Quickly kneeling downand scooping up mysupplies, I make quickwork grabbing at the itemsuntil a hand stills my arm,slowly taking them fromme.
Cursing the gods for
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putting this deliciousplayboy in my path, Ipainstakingly take my timelooking up.
I first make eye-contactwith the indented musclestrailing down his stomachand defining his hips.Those crevices can onlylead to one place, a placeI’ve only been once before
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with one other boy.Next, my stare roams
over ripple after ripple ofstomach muscle. My handis burning to reach out andtouch the skin there, but Irestrain myself. Owen isbuilt, not like a college-ageboy, but more like a man.He is, seriously, one of thehottest males I’ve ever
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seen.Finally I make it up to
his eyes, which are nowcapturing mine with somuch heat and amusementthat I feel I might just meltinto the floor and become aMinka/hydrogen-peroxidepool.
“You going to nurse meback to health or just oggle
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me?” Owen drawls,looking down at me with ashit-eating grin on his face.
With a ticked off snort,I amble to my feet andmotion for him to sit.Starting on his back, Icover a cotton ball insolution and wipe at thenicks marring his sidesand backs of his arms.
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“Fuck!” He flinches asthe dampness stings him.
“Oh what? The big badbaseball star can’t handle alittle sting?”
“I’ll have you know Ionce pitched a perfect sixinnings with a brokenthumb. So don’t talk to meabout pain.”
“Fine, we can talk
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about stupidity. Becausethat seems severelystupid.” I laugh as hejumps under the sting ofthe cotton ball as I move tohis calves.
He really does have theperfect body. He ischiseled but lean all-in-one. He has just the rightamount of lankiness that I
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like, but muscles that makeit look as if he could throwme over his shoulder andtake me to his cave. Myinsides quiver at thethought of what he coulddo to me.
“Well as much as thisstings like a bitch, thanksfor taking care of me.You’re actually pretty
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good at the wholemending my woundsthing.” He flashes thoseocean-colored orbs up atme from under his goldenbrown lashes and I can feeltingles from the balls ofmy feet all the way to thebase of my neck.
“I’ve actuallyconsidered pursuing
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nursing when I startapplying for college.”Wow, I really must havebeen mesmerized by hiseyes, because I haven’t toldanyone that little tidbit yet.And it surprises me evenmore that I don’t feel theleast bit uncomfortablesharing that very personalchoice with Owen.
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“That’s cool,” he nods,not catching on that I’vejust given him more ofmyself than I everintended to. “Any reasonwhy? Are you like, one ofthose people who is reallygood at science andmath?”
To be honest, I enjoyenglish and history much
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more, but that doesn’tmean I don’t excel in myother subjects. No, nursingis a choice that came to meafter a quick trip to the ERin sixth grade. I’d cut myhand on a machine in shopclass, and the school nursehad sent me to the hospitalto get it professionallystitched up.
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My father wasworking, I had a sneakingsuspicion he couldn’thandle entering thehospital. A nurse namedBeth sat with me for fourhours, helping me throughthe pain. I want to be ableto give others that kind ofcomfort. But I’m not aboutto tell Mr. MVP Pitcher all
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that.“I’m actually like, one
of those people who isreally good at school ingeneral. That’s what usmere mortals must do toget by when all-starathletic skills are notbestowed upon us.” Andmy sarcasm is back to savethe day.
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I finish bandaging thelast cut and walk towardsthe cabinets to replace thesupplies on their shelves.
I feel him before I hearhim behind me. Electricityzips up my spine as hemakes contact with myskin, his hand brushing myhair over my shoulder,giving him a better view of
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my back and neck.“Would you like me to
show you just what kind ofskills I do possess?” Owenbreathes against my skin.His lips are so close to thecurve in my neck that myflesh physically aches. “Iabsolutely love yoursarcastic mouth. Itsrefreshing. But I think I’m
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going to love shutting youup a lot more.”
He’s running just hispointer finger up anddown the inside of myright arm that now hangslimply at my side. Myother hand grips thecounter for support, Ididn’t think I’d be able tostand without it. We stand
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there, his naked chest soclose to my back, hisbreath runninggoosebumps down myneck.
The only point ofcontact is that one finger,stroking slowly up anddown my skin, sendingsizzling jolts straight to mycore. I have never been
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more turned on in my life.What the hell is he doingto me?
My breaths come inshort puffs, I was nearlypanting with...what?Anticipation, fear, desire?All of the above? Thewhole time I keep my gazestraight on, trying to be asstill as possible yet willing
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him to make the nextmove. My head wages warwith my body to put anend to this. After whatfeels like years, I hear thetiniest shift, and thenwarm, rough lips plant asoft kiss on the skin undermy ear.
I go crazy. My skinfeels like its on fire. I am
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burning up from the insideout. He holds there for afew seconds and I let out asoft moan. As soon as thesound leaves my lips,Owen whirls me aroundand pins me to the counter,dipping his head andlooking me straight in theeye, almost asking forpermission, before he
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swoops in to capture mylips.
I’m powerless. At first Ijust stand there, lettinghim feast on my mouthand run his big hands upand down my body. Thereare so many sensations,emotions that I had neverfelt before, coursingthrough me.
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He kisses me like astarving animal, and I amonly too happy to standthere and be his prey. Lust,hot and raw claws throughmy core and up to mybreasts, where I can feelmy nipples tighten intohard beads.
When his tonguepushes through my teeth
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and laps at the roof andsides of my mouth, I ignite.He’d lit the match and setoff the fireworks that hadlaid dormant in my bodyfor so long.
Fisting my hand in hissoft brown locks, I pull hishead to allow myself abetter angle. I slide my lipsover his and match him
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breath for breath. I want totaste each inch of his roughmouth, lips and teeth. Iwant to be able to replaythis moment over and overin my head with exactingprecision.
He smells like thewoods after athunderstorm, musky anddamp. I hadn’t kissed
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many boys, okay, I’d onlyever done this with oneother person, but I knew asI watched him kiss Allisonall those years ago thatkissing Owen wouldn’t benormal.
He knew what hewanted and he was takingit, and I was taking what Iwanted right back. My
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body was acting of its ownaccord, as if telling mybrain to take a hike.
I was taking Chloe’sadvice. Owen Axel didn’twant me to be hisgirlfriend. He wasn’tmaking romantic gesturesto try and get me into bed.He’d been honest in hisactions and insinuations
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from the start.And if he wanted me
for my body, I could wanthis right back. I wouldhave to get back on thathorse, literally, someday. Ideserved this. So whenOwen grabs my hips andass, hauling me up off theground, I wrap my legsaround his waist and
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surrender my body.
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6
OWEN
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Iknow I’m taking this waytoo fast. I should slow
down, take my time. Orbetter yet, I shouldn’t haveeven kissed her. Minka isthe type of girl I shouldtake out on a date, get toknow, before I attack herlike some horny gorilla.
But I couldn’t help it.She was like a bone being
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dangled in front of me. AllI wanted to do was haveher. I couldn’t get my headstraight.
She didn’t resist whenI’d begun to seduce her,more as a Hail Mary passthan anything. But she’dleaned into my touch. Andwhen I heard that sexylittle sigh bubble up from
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her throat, I was a goner.I blacked out, went
blind. I couldn’t touch her,everywhere, fast enough.There was so much Iwanted to taste and feeland suck and lick. I was aparched man and Minkawas water.
So here we are,sprawled on the couch
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with her writhing underme as I bite gently into hersexy, slim neck. Her skinfeels like silk wrapped invelvet. I wish I had morehands so I could coverevery inch of this beautifulgirl.
Her legs are wrappedlike a vise around mywaist, bringing my
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engorged dick to rest onwhat it now knows mustbe the happiest place onearth. I can barely hear herhot groans because theblood pulsing through myveins is drowning out allsound. I think my heart isabout to explode, and Iknow I should stop, but Ican’t seem to. My hands
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have minds of their own asthey skate over her hotflesh and reach under thehem of her shirt.
My fingers explore thetight, quivering skin of herstomach as they moveupward, and I think I mayjust cum in my pantsbefore she ever blesses mewith the pleasure of
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making it all the way toher tits.
Focus, Owen, this isn’tabout you right now. Iwant to see Minka comeundone, its the thought-upimage that has beenplaying on a loop in myhead for the past 24 hours.Bringing my head up, I letmy heated stare roam her
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face, and dammit this wasa bad idea if I wasn’ttrying to bust yet.
Her eyes are the colorof deep melted chocolate,and hooded as if her bodycan’t handle the pleasure.Her hair is a mess of curlshaloed around her head,and quiet moans arecoming from her perfectly
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shaped mouth that isswollen a cherry red frommy kisses.
I keep my gaze on heras I slowly reach my handup over one of her breastsand gently roll her nipplebetween my thumb andforefinger. Her head snapsback into the couchcushion, and her mouth
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forms a silent O. She’s soresponsive, and its all I cando to hold back fromtearing her clothes off andsinking into her.
I alternate between herbreasts, slowly rolling thenipples and bringing themto stiff peaks. I am gettingeven harder, though Ididn’t think it was
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possible, but apparentlythis girl can get me stifferthan a steel beam.
Minka’s makingmewling sounds when Ifinally remove my handfrom her top and venturefurther down her body. Idon’t think she’s payingattention until my handbreaches the band on her
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tight spandex runningshorts and comes to restover her underwear,directly on top of whereher clit is pulsing beneathmy fingers. She is staringat me wide-eyed, and Iwink at her before rubbingright where I know sheneeds it.
Her hips rear off the
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cushions and she lets out athroaty yelp, and my cockpractically tears open myshorts with how bad itwants to replace my handright now. I keep my pace,slow but steady and withjust enough pressure, and Ican see Minka’s eyesrolling back in her head.
“Tell me Minka, has a
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guy ever made you cumbefore?”
Her eyes flash with rawdesire, and she pushes intomy fingers as I pose thedirty question, and beginsto speed up the pace. She’sriding my hand and its themost beautiful thing I’veever seen. She iscompletely letting go, and
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its adding to my ego thatshe’s letting me see it.
Her pace is frantic nowas she grips my shoulders,grinding my hand harderinto her sweet mound.With my free hand, I thrustinto her shirt and tweakher hardened bud, anaction that causesnonsensical moans to burst
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from her lips. I continuemy perusal of her body asshe gets more and moreworked up.
Finally she stills in myarms, her eyes drawntogether in an almostpainful expression, beforeletting out the sexiestfucking sound I’ve everheard. I stroke her through
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her underwear as she ridesout her orgasm, watchingher sweet face tighten andthen melt into bliss.
I change my positionon top of her, ready to sinkso deep into her that sheforgets her own name,when I realize just whatI’ve forgotten.
Condoms, fuck. I may
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be a cocky son of a bitchsometimes, but not a bigenough one that I bringprotection just in case Icome across a willingfemale during myworkouts.
Looking down at her,all I can think of is gettingmyself as close as humanlypossible to every part of
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her. I knew I had to ask, nomatter howpresumptuous.
“Listen sweetheart, thatwas one of the hottestthings I’ve everexperienced in my wholelife, and I want nothingmore than to fuck you intonext Tuesday. But, since Ididn’t anticipate the
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afternoon taking this kindof turn, I don’t have anycondoms on me. Do you—”
Minka’s whole bodyturned to ice before I couldeven get the rest of myquestion out. She stiffenedunderneath me and hereyes went wide with whatI could swear was fear.
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What the fuck? With thespeed of a panther, she isup and off the sofa,adjusting her clothes andhair while giving me alook that could burn theOzone.
“You need to leave. Ishould have never letthings get as far as theydid…..but, you have to
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go.”Wait what? I stand
there, baffled. Her reactiontook a minute to sink in.
Maybe she didn’t wantto take it to that next level.Duh, you horny idiot, youhad all but attacked thisgirl you barely know. Iwanted to smack myself inthe head. “Shit, I’m sorry,
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Minka. I shouldn’t haveassumed you were on thesame train of thought.Uhh…..we don’t have tohave sex, let me justuh….stay. We cantalk…..or I’ll uh...makeyou food.” Smooth, bro.
“As if I’m going to tryto let you charm your waymore into my pants. I
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know your type, and Idon’t want anything to dowith it, get out,” Shedemands, throwing me theshirt I’d discarded earlierand practically pushing meto the door.
“I don’t get what'sgoing on, did I hurt you?”Suddenly aware that thiscould be the problem, I do
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a quick inspection of her.She looks ok to me, betterthan ok. Her cheeks areflushed and glowing, andher hair floats wildlyaround her face, making itlook like I’d just laid herdown and had my waywith her for hours. Fuck,she was perfect.
“Oh don’t give yourself
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so much credit, Axel.” Shelaughs off my question,but her movements are off.
She’s trying too hard tocome off snarky. “Maybe Ijust didn’t like the skillsyou had to offer. Maybe Idon’t feel like being thetrophy you bring back toyour friends. Or maybe,hey I bet this is a new one
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for you, I have values!Sorry to put the kibosh onyour summerentertainment, but thiswon’t happen again.” Sheopens the door, pushingme out onto the frontporch.
Anger simmers deep inmy veins and beginsspreading through my
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body like wildfire. Beforeshe can slam the heavy oakslab in my face, I plant ahand in the middle andshoved hard, the doorhitting the inside wall witha harsh thud. I crowd intoher space, my large bodylooming over hers, makingher look small andhelpless.
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“It sure seemed likeyou were enjoying myskills, or do I need toremind you how hard youwere riding my fingers?Keep lying to yourselfhoney, it’ll only make thatneed you try to smothergrow stronger. I’ll justleave happily knowingthat tonight, when you’re
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writhing around restlesslyin bed, its the feeling of myhands you won’t be able toget off of your skin.”
And with that, I grabthe door handle, slammingit shut so hard behind methat it almost cracks theframe.
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7
MINKA
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Throwing the heavytextbook off my lap, I
huff and slump back intothe couch. I was mentallyand physically drained. Ithad been a week sinceOwen had blown myworld to smithereens, andjust like he’d predicted,every night I laid awake inbed, unable to will away
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the assault of memoriesthat made my skin tingleand my center clench.
I’d tried my best to staydistracted, following mydaily schedule and notveering. As if OCD was thecure-all for hot, muscledmen who wanted to giveyou mind-blowingorgasms and then “fuck
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you into next Tuesday.”When I could finally
pick myself up off of thefloor where I’d collapsedin a confused and angryheap after Owen hadslammed his way out, I’dgone into autopilot. Mydaily chores got done, Iworked out, attended mypre-college summer
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courses and drownedmyself in novels. Butconstantly, going on a loopin the back of my head,was Owen.
His hands on me, theway he looked into myeyes with that molten starethat made me feel like Iwas going to combust. Theway he rolled his hips in to
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meet my core, and howfreaking good that had felt.The smell of his musk ashe moved his lips overmine, tasting and savoringhow we fit together, all thewhile his hands exploringmy cheeks, neck and jaw.
When he’d asked me ifany guy had ever made mecum, I didn’t know it was
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possible to be so turned onand embarrassed at thesame time. His talk wasdirty and exciting. I hadn’tanswered though. Hedidn’t need to know he’donly been the second maleto ever touch me like that,and the only one to get meto that spot.
Coming down from
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that high had been likenothing I’d everexperienced. But once Ihad, reality gave me aswift kick in the ass.
He’d gotten me rightwhere he’d wanted me.And he hadn’t even had towork for it. He didn’t evenknow my middle name.God, I had officially
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become that girl, again. Ishould have ignored histactics, his charm, hissmile.
I’d told him multipletimes that his panty-melting smile wouldn’taffect me, and then he’dgone and incinerated themfrom the first moment he’dlaid a finger on me. No
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wonder he’d lumped meinto the slut category withall the other groupies he’dbanged.
That one unfinishedsentence, “Do you…?” hitme square between theeyes. Was I thatpredictable that this washappening to me again?Did they all think of me as
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easy?I thought having some
fun would be good for me,letting go and figurativelygetting back in the saddle.But when he’d broachedthe sex topic, all I could seewas Gregory’s facelooming over me.
That smile. At the timeI hadn’t suspect just how
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horrible the intentionsbehind it were. His eyesraking over my body, theuncomfortable feelingsand sensations. Howstupid I’d been.
Owen could take thestory back to his friends.They could all hurlwhatever new abuse at methat they wanted, but I’d
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rest well knowing I hadn’tfallen into their trap.Again.
You don’t get yourhopes up for guys likeOwen Axel. Not whenthey smile at you, notwhen they call youbeautiful, not when theyget you to start openingup, not ever.
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So I did what I alwaysdo, brought out the ragingbitch, intending to repulseand piss him off. Exceptnow, I’m thinking I wasthe one who ended upwith the raw end of thedeal, because I hadn’t sleptin five days.
After I’d read asentence in my biology
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textbook for the fifth time,I finally decided to take abreak. Taking summercourses for college credit,in some ridiculous attemptto complete undergrad inthree years, had been myidea. And now I only hadmyself to blame for tryingto ram knowledge into abrain on summer
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programming.Just when I thought I’d
have to force myself tofinish the requiredreading, I hear the frontdoor open with a whoosh.
“Minks, we have cometo save you from your self-imposed solitaryconfinement!” Kels yells asher flip-flops clack on the
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tile in the hallway.She and Chloe round
the corner to where I sit inthe living room, huffingwhen they see the opentextbooks and notebooksstrewn about. Neither ofthem even bother with aphone call or the doorbellanymore, they we were myfamily and came and went
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as they pleased.“Seriously? You’re
doing homework? Its thesecond week of summerbreak, you’re pale as aghost, and we haven’ttalked to you in four days.What the hell is up withyou?” Kelsey practicallyscreams at me.
“I’ve texted you like a
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million times! Either yourphone is broken, highlyunlikely, or more likely,you’re avoiding us,” Chloegoes in on me next.
“I’m fine guys, justbeen busy with theseclasses and um, gettingchores done.” I know I’mlying straight through myteeth, and lamely at that,
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but I can’t help it.“Oh bullshit, your dad
can’t even bother to checkif you’re alive, much lesscare if the house is clean, “Kels visibly winces at herbeyond true statement,“Sorry, that was harsh. Ijust mean that you pulledthose excuses out of yourass. Now what’s going on?
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We’re worried.”I’d been so wrapped up
in my own head for thepast week, that I hadn’trealized how much Ineeded my friends. Theywould understand why I’dthrown Owen out. Irecount the tale, leavingout a lot of the naughtydetails I know they would
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feed on like hungrywolves.
“Woah, woah, woah,let me get this straight. Sohe kissed you, said dirtythings in your ear and thenhijacked your body to dovery naughty, deliciousthings to you? I don’t getthe problem here.” Chloetips up her chin, looking
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very much like she wastrying to imagine thesexual fantasy. I needed toshut down that visualrecap ASAP.
“It wasn’t as 50 Shadesas you think, so quitcreating the porn scenerunning through yourhead right now.”
“Yeah, I don’t get it
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either. Isn’t this what youwanted? You should beproud. He’s hot andwilling, and lord knowsyou need to dust thecobwebs out of yourdownstairs. So what doesthis mean? God I will be soproud if you tell me you’restriking up a friends-with-benefits deal!” Kels grins.
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“Kels, I threw him out.He was using me, anddon’t ask me how I know, Ijust do. That’s what theseguys do to you. Theyseduce you, charm youinto crushing on them andthen pull the rug out fromunder you and laugh whileyou fall down the rabbithole. Besides, why would I
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willingly agree to have afuck buddy? Especiallyone who is a leader in theMitchum cool crowd?” Iarch a brow her way. “No,nothing is going on. I’msteering clear of OwenAxel.” I throw them awarning look, letting themknow the conversation isdone.
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“Come on. I mean notevery guy is trying toclaim you for some prize.What happened washorrible, but you can’t liveyour life thinking everyguy is going to suddenlytake out a machete and gutyou.” Kels faces me, worrylines dotting her facedespite the ridiculous
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metaphor she’d just made.“We’ll drop it for now,”
Chloe jumps in, sensingmy walls going up, “ButI’ll just say, for someonewho says nothing is goingon, and that she doesn’tcare, you look like shit. Nooffense. Case in point,those bags under your eyesare humongous and it
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looks like you haven’tstraightened your hair indays. And we DO knowyou, so we know thatmeans this is affecting youenough not to sleep, orcare about the rat’s nestforming on your head.”Shooting me me a halfsympathetic, half amusedlook, Chlo tries to run her
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fingers through said rat’snest.
“But, we won’t talkabout it until you areready. Back to the originalpoint of why we’re here.We’re going out. Andbefore you argue, you’recoming so don’t even fightus.” Kels goes diggingaround in her bag. She
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pulls out a hairstraightener, makeup, andbegins to throw dozens oftiny little lacy items ontothe coffee table.
Realization setting in, Ibegin to back away fromwhat I know is coming.
“No, no, no. Uh-uh getaway from me….” I triedto make my way out of the
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room, but Chloe grabs mefrom behind.
“That’s right!Makeover time! Sit in thischair and let us work. Nofussing, like we said, youhave no choice.”
The small amount ofenergy I have left in mybody flees, and I givemyself over to their
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torture, knowing thatthey’d prod and poke mefor the next couple ofhours whether I put up afight or not.
THREE HOURS later I wigglemy way into the car,careful not to expose mybutt in the white high-
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waisted shorts Chloedemanded I wear. Its ahard feat though, becauseleaning too far forwardmeans my boobs will gotumbling out of the lacypeach tank top I’d foughtto wear.
Kels had tried to put acrop top over my headuntil I’d grabbed the
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curling iron and warnedher that she’d get burned,literally, if she tried toforce me into the belly-baring shirt.
For all of theirmeddling, however, I didfeel better. My mahoganyhair fell in smooth sheetsdown my back, thanks toChloe’s expensive
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European hairstraightener. Kels, themakeup master, hadoutdone herself. Smokybrown tones made myeyes appear even biggerthan they already were,but in a pretty way. Notlike an alien, which is whatusually happened when Itried that looked natural,
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but made my eyes pop.Not that I didn’t usuallydo myself up a little whenwe went out, but I usuallywent for casual chic andcomfortable. Chlo and Kelsalways took it to the nextlevel, but I had to admitthat tonight their magichad me feeling confident.
“Ok, I’m in the car now
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and clearly am not goingto jump into traffic. Canyou please tell me wherewe are going?” I eye mytwo best friends who arenow sharing a giggle in thefront seat.
“Fine. We are havingan all-out, ridiculously funnight attt…...THE FIELD!”Chloe claps, taking her
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hands off the wheel of herBMW.
“Aw, man come onguys, really? You thoughtyou’d bring me out of myslump by bringing me to aparty at which all thepeople who worship Owenand his cronies drinkthemselves silly and thenget naked in tents?”
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Jumping out into trafficreally didn’t sound likesuch a bad idea at thismoment.
“Minks, relax. Webrought your favorite beer,they’ll be playing thesickest music, and once weall get too wasted to stand,we’ll crash in our tent.Alone. It’s girl’s night, yes,
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but we could not pass up aField Party.” Kels replieswith a “duh” in her tone,as if this logic was going toconvince me to put myparty hat on.
The Field was exactlywhat it sounded like, agigantic empty field. It saton the 150-acre farm of theMerry family, who had
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five boys ranging from 13to 24-years-old. LouisMerry was in our grade,and thus had taken overField Party duty from hisolder brother Jacksonabout a year ago.
Their parents couldn’tcare less what trouble theygot up to on the property,and it was a great tradeoff
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for the teens of Mitchum,who were supplied with aplace to get drunk, highand naked without fear ofbeing caught by the cops.
Mitchum might be anaffluent town with affluentpeople, but it was stillNorth Carolina. These kidspartied like country folk,even though one could
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consider Field Parties waymore on the side ofglamping.
Chloe winds the car upthe hilly roads leading outof Mitchum. The onlypeople who live on thisside of town are those richenough to buildMcMansions on the farmproperties that used to
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exist, or the one or twofamilies who still actuallyown farms. Hooking aright at the discrete gravelroad, the car begins torumble over the roughthree mile stretch beforeChloe pulls off, parkingthe car on a dryer portionof grass.
Climbing out of the
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back seat, I can feel thebass of the rap musicemanating out over thefield a few hundred yardsaway. My mood liftsconsiderably as the beatsurges through mytendons, muscles, andbones. I might look like thetypical conservative girl-next-door bookworm, but
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my guilty pleasure waship-hop. Although I like allmusic, rap and hip-hop aremy favorite. The bass andbeat invade my body,sending pleasurable trillsdown my spine.
I walk toward the partywith more of a pep in mystep now that I can feel thebeat conjoining with my
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blood.“Oh look, DJ Braxton is
a bit happier to be herenow that she’s drowningher feelings in sick beats.”Kels hooks her arm aroundmy neck, smiling. She andChloe knew about myobsession and loved totease me for being “sohood.”
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I giggle as we walk armand arm into the circle ofpartiers. The weight thathas been sitting on mychest for the past sevendays start to lift. So maybegiving this Field Party achance wouldn’t kill me.Chlo plops her pink cooleron the ground in betweentwo others, conjoining
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them to make a ringaround the bonfirecrackling in the center ofthe circle. Dusk has set in,and when she hands me abeer, I don’t hesitate totake a long pull from theneck before letting it rest inmy hands.
I survey the party fromoutside the inner ring,
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which is probably ametaphor for my life. I’mnot necessarily an outcast,but anytime I’ve felt like Icould rejoin school societyand begin to trust myclassmates again, someonein the popular crowd wasonly too happy to remindme of the past. And thatsomeone was usually
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Allison.People laugh and talk,
while a few lacrosse brosjostle each other over whowould be able to jumpthrough the fire. By theend of the night, I waswilling to bet all three didit, whether they weresuccessful or not.
The girls have already
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disappeared, and I spotthem flirting with twoguys in our grade who Ican’t quite remember thenames of. I take a seat onthe cooler, casuallycontinuing to sip my beer,and feel a sudden jolt ofawareness niggling myspine. My head begins toswivel as if its attached to
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a string, and my visionlatches directly ontoOwen. Shit.
He’d just walked upthe path into the circle, andis surrounded by a smallgroup. I see him smile ashis friend Miles throwshim a beer, and my insidesgo haywire. My stomachdrops and my feet start to
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tingle in their haste tomove my body off thiscooler and into his arms.But I stay planted.
I try to avert my eyes,but I can’t stop staring athow incredibly built andtan he is. Tonight he’sopted for a red and whitestriped cutoff tank andnavy blue khaki shorts that
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outline his perfectbackside. He looks like aRalph Lauren model. Hisusual bed-head hair hasbeen slicked back to oneside, giving him this drool-worthy European vibe. Heholds his big body withease and confidence, and Iwant so badly to be underhim, giving into his oh-so-
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good fingers.Don’t let him have you.
I need to repeat thismantra to myself. Hedidn’t think of me asanything but a challengingconquest, and had provenit when he hadn’t botheredtrying to contact me for thelast seven days.
Sure, he didn’t have my
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cell, but he knew where Ilived and could haveprobably gotten mynumber from someone.The first thing he’dthought about was sex, notgetting to know me. If thatwasn’t an indicator of howtruly wrong this wholething was, then I didn’tknow what was.
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I don’t even know whyI’m so hung up on this. Itwasn’t like I wanted todate the guy. I knew howdangerous wantingsomething like that withsomeone like him was. Hewas a total charmer whoused girls for what hewanted. A total charmerwho was the only other
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guy I’d ever allowed to dosuch an intimate thing tome. I inhale a sharp breath,trying to calm my frayednerves.
And suddenly he waslooking at me. Great, I’ddefinitely been staring toolong, again. Sitting onopposite sides of the fire,flames obscured my view
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as they climbed higher intothe darkening sky, but Ican clearly see his eyes,now a shade of cobalt,glaring at me. Damn, helooks pissed. Was heseriously mad because Iwouldn’t let him hit it andquit it?
I was like a deer inheadlights. I should
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probably get up, stop thisfrozen connection we werehaving, but I’m stuck,powerless to his visualassault. Bringing his gazestraight to my eyes, helooks into my face. Andsneers.
His look is so full ofjudgement and indignationthat I actually flinch from
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the feeling of disgustpunching its way throughthe air towards me. I musthave not hidden my shockwell, because he ends oureye-contact with a smugtilt of his head, and thenpulls a nearby blonde intohis lap. She nuzzles herhead into his shoulderwhile thrusting her chest
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into his face, and he wrapshis thick arm around hertiny waist.
I can feel theembarrassment and angercreep into my face, myskin tingling from theshame. I kick myself forbeing so freaking naive.Well, there was theconfirmation. Someone
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had told him. Myreputation had proceededme, and it was clear Owenwas looking for a good-time-gal, and since Iwouldn’t give it up, he’dfound someone whowould.
Screw this. I’d said Iwas done letting thesepeople dictate how I lived.
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I wasn’t going through lifesecond-guessing my everyaction and distrusting all Isaw around me. I downthe last of my beer andsaunter over to the tableKels and Chlo are playingflip cup at.
“Got room for an extraplayer?” I ask the guyrunning the table, adding a
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bit of insinuation to mytone. Out of the corner ofmy eye, I see Kels’ jawnearly hit the floor.
“Sure, gorgeous. Butthere is a little twist to thisgame. It’s not just regularole’ flip cup,” He leans incloser, trying his best to getme to what, giggle orsqueal? This guy clearly
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didn’t know who I was.Or that having never
grown my social butterflywings, I had no idea whatthe regular ole’ rules to flipcup were. “Before youdown your beer and flip,you have to take a shot.”He wiggles his eyebrowsat me. While he was cutein a total surfer dude way,
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he just wasn’t cutting it forme. Damn you, OwenAxel.
Peering around thetable, I notice the tiny shotglasses seated next toevery red plastic cup.Reaching for the nearestone, I tip my head backand bring the glass to mylips. The acidic burn
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slowly rolls down mythroat, cheap vodkanumbing my veins andanger. Yeah, this is exactlywhat I need. Slamming theglass down, I catch theshock on my friends faces.They look like statues,they’re so mesmerized bymy actions.
“Well, if those are the
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rules I’d say I’m officiallywinning. Right?”
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8
OWEN
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F ield Parties are without adoubt one of my
favorite things in theworld. I’ve been cominghere for years, ever sinceTyler Merry, whograduated a year beforeme, had started throwingthem during my freshmanyear of high school. Sittingout under the stars in the
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middle of Nowhere, NorthCarolina, the fire cracklingin front of you, a beer inyour hand, hot girlsrunning around in thosecutoff shorts intended totease. There was reallynothing better.
These nights couldclear my mind of thepressure, the fear, the
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doubts. The wide openspaces gave me room tobreathe, actually freemyself of the poison Isucked in daily. Thetension in my life wasconstant; How manystrikeouts have I recorded?Could I have thrown theball faster? Should I add anextra weight to pump up
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my triceps? What scoutwould be in the standstoday? Is dad going to bedisappointed that Icouldn’t paint the corners?
I didn’t know howmany of these nights I hadleft.
Which is why I wasseverely pissed that Minkahad officially taken it upon
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herself to be the one-woman night ruiningparade.
I hadn’t seen her sinceshe’d thrown me out of herhouse. The girl totallyfreaked and thenproceeded to trash me andmy skills. And I know,from past experience andher breathy moans as she
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came around my hand,that my skills were verywell honed.
I don’t typically go forchicks who can hold theirown, it was easier to bagthe easy ones, as bad asthat sounds.
So it was strange that Iwas so turned on by thefact that she was smart,
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and could hand me my assin any conversation. Thatfact that she was insanelybeautiful was just anadded bonus.
I typically went for hotand easy; girls who knewwhat I was down for. Andthat was not a girlfriend.Girlfriends broughtpressure and expectations,
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which I had enough of inspades thanks to baseballand my dad.
I knew I’d moved toofast by getting physicalwith Minka too quick, butthen she started throwingaround the word “values,”and accusing me of beingsome dick who brags to hisbuddies about all the
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pussy he scores. Shedoesn’t even know me.When she’d startedhauling assumptions in myface like a bratty two-year-old, I’d decided I was donepursuing her. She couldhave her “morals.”
But that didn’t mean Ihadn’t fantasized abouther, 24 hours a day, for the
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past seven days. It was likeshe’d taken over my brainand was residing therepermanently. All I couldthink about was the waymy hands melded to hersmooth, velvety skin. Theway her chocolatey eyeswidened, and that sexymouth formed an O whenI worked my fingers over
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her hardened clit. The wayshe writhed beneath me,clawing at my back as ifshe was physically fightingme for release. My dickwas hard just thinkingabout it, not that it hadn’timmediately raised to fullsalute when I’d spotted heracross the fire.
Shouldn’t my cock be
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tired of her? My hand wassore from how muchattention I’d been giving itthe last week.Remembering her sexylittle whimpers was all Ineeded these days to bustin 30 seconds flat, whichwas sort of embarrassing.Since I’d kissed her, thetaste of berries and mint
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still lingering on mytongue, I’d been obsessed.
Leave it to me to crushhard for the one chick whodidn’t want to straddle mefrom the minute she heardmy name was Owen Axel.
Whatever, I’d learnedmy lesson, I wasn’t goingto try to pet the dog thatalready bitten me, twice.
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Except that nothing, noteven this ditzy blonde onmy lap basically shovingher nipples in my face, washelping to get my attentionoff of her.
And I can’t seem tostop my hands fromballing into fists as I watchher sling her arms aroundthis fucking surfer dude’s
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neck. She was drunk,really drunk. And while Iwas beyond buzzed, Iknow what it looked liketo be desperate drunk.And Minka fell right intothat category tonight. Shewas trying way too hard tomake her problems goaway by hitting the bottle.I should know, I had been
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an expert at times.Surfer bro reaches
down to grab a big handfulof her ass, and I’d seenenough. Before I know it,I’m up, the blondetumbling off my lap intothe dirt, and my feetcarrying me in herdirection. I shove the dudeaway before his hands can
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do anymore roaming, andthen catch a falling Minkawho can’t seem to stand onher own.
“Hey what the heck—”she trails off as she sees itsme holding her, herbloodshot eyes narrowing.“Get off me, you asshole.”She spits at me, pushing atmy chest. I lock my arms
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securely around her,making sure she can’tbreak my hold to stumbleoff.
“Hey bro, let go of her.What’s your problemman?” Surfer bro gets backup and is gesturing at me.He looks like he’squestioning whether tofight for her or not, but is
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smart enough not tochallenge me. I shoot him ahard look that illustratesjust how badly I couldbash his face in, and hismind is made up. Hehurries off, leaving Minkain my arms and her friendsstaring at me like I’ve justrevealed I’m Superman.
“Hey, we are going to
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go for a little walk, ok?Don’t worry I will keep hersafe and return her soon.” Ismiled at them, phrasing itas a question but not reallymeaning it as one.
They both slowly nodat me, and the one withblue streaks runningthrough her hair rolls hereyes, adding, “Its about
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time. You were only eye-fucking her for the lastthree hours.”
I let out a snort. Somaybe I had been moreobvious than I’d thought.“I like your friend.” I sayto Minka. “I’m Owen, bythe way.”
“Kelsey, and this isChloe. We know who you
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are, baseball god. Now,you can take our girl here.Just know you’re onpotential puke duty.” Shehalf-jokes as they walkaway giggling.
“Ummmm, I’m notinvisible. And I’m also notgoing anywhere with you,asshole. I was having funwith Brad, thanks very
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much.” She slurs, herspeech coming out in moreof a tinkly, high tone thanusual. But she’s damnadorable. Acting so bossyand cute, it takes all of myrestraint not to scoop herup and crush my lips intohers.
But I wasn’t goingthere with her again. I was
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only helping out a girl whoclearly had gotten herselfinto a situation she didn’twant to be in.
I could keep tellingmyself all night that Iwasn’t going to continuepursuing this girl, but thatdidn’t make it true.
She needs to cool downand sober up. I rub my
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hand through her silkyhair, which hangs stickstraight tonight, almost toher butt. God, she looksincredible. She fits so wellagainst my side as I guideher away from the noise.Every time I look down ather, my eyeline has thefucking greatest view ofher tits framed by that lacy
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top. It was not doinganything to tame myswelling dick.
Images of her under meflash through my brain.The way she rubbed hersoft, slim body into mine.This girl had made menearly blow in my pants.And she’d definitelygotten me harder than any
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of the college groupies I’dboned this year. And now Ineed to think of anything— dead fish, mygrandmother— to get thismassive boner to go away.
“Seriously, let me go,”she wriggles against me,breaking free for a secondbefore I trip, pulling herback into me and righting
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us both. Yeah, no. Bonerstill on high alert.
“Jeez you’re a meandrunk. Both times you’vetried to blow me off, andapparently I have someduty to catch youwhenever you fall.” I say,half-teasing.
“You wouldn’t have tocatch me, or hear my
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smarty-pants self, if youstopped coming around.Or if you weren’t such ajerk.” She grins, lookingpleased with herself forthat comeback.
“Honey, I hate to breakit to you, but your smartmouth really takes a hitwhen you’re drunk. Sitwith me,” I motion to the
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log at our feet. I’d walkedus a good 75 yards fromthe party.
She frowns, but doesn’tresist when I pull her handand her body follows. Wesit in silence for a fewminutes, me just staring upat the stars and reveling inthe quiet, feeling 100 timesbetter now that I had
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Minka’s warm bodypressed into my side.
“Why are we out here?If this is some move to getyour hands down mypanties, I already told you,I’m not having sex withyou.” She huffs, the angerin her voice receding a bit,replaced with exhaustion.
“And why would you
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think this is some kind ofploy to get you to spreadyour legs for me?” I biteback, not the calmest, orsoberest, myself. Shedoesn’t respond, onlylooks at me like shewanted to say more, butthen turns away to stopherself. Her brown hairfloats on the breeze and I
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catch the scent of lilacs.“Whatever, you looked
like you were having agreat time with PamelaAnderson. Why don’t youget back over there,champ!” She shrugs,rubbing her shoulders as ifshe was cold despite the 80degree night. I know she’dseen me sneer at her
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before, and I mentallypunched myself for actinglike such an idiot.
I just didn’t expect tosee her, and my ego hadbeen severely bruisedwhen she’d practicallyshoved me onto thesidewalk the other day. So,I’d resorted to being aneight-year-old;
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symbolically hitting thegirl I liked on theplayground.
“Its not like you weregiving me the warm andfuzzies either, sweetheart.Look, I think we got off onthe wrong foot.” Shesnorts when I utter thewords “got off” and theblood in my dick pulsed.
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God, her sense of humorturns me on.“Yeah I know,I kind of attacked you theother day, but you weren’texactly saying no. I don’tknow why you freaked,but I meant what I said. Iwould like to talk, get toknow you. And I promise Iwon’t act like a cocky jerk,or at least I’ll try. Its just
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hard since I’m so goodlooking and excel ateverything that I do…..” Itrail off as she half-heartedly punches myshoulder. But she wasfinally smiling in a non-annoyed, super-adorabledrunk way.
“I’m tired,” she yawnssleepily, leaning into my
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shoulder.Her closeness surprises
me, but I haven’t felt moreat home ever in my lifethan when her skin madecontact with mine. Thisgirl was throwing me for aloop. I barely knew herand yet she felt morefamiliar than when I stoodout on my island during a
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game.I wrap my arm around
her shoulder, nestling herfurther into my side. Myskin tingles where shewrapped her slim armaround my back, and I’movercome with this quietsense of contentment. Westay locked like this, onour own island in the
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middle of the field, untilmy eyes begin to droopand I surrender my mindto the abyss.
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9
MINKA
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It is so freaking bright,someone needs to turn
that light off. And whydoes it hurt so fucking badwhen I move my head?Am I even moving myhead?
At first I think I muststill be dreaming, butwhen I crack an eye open, Iknow that the hangover
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fairies have taken rootinside my skull. I look overthe damp, dewy field,wondering why I’m not inthe dry, warm tent withmy friends. When I beginto blink the haze from myvision, my heart startsracing.
Me, cradled in OwenAxel’s lap as he sleeps
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propped up against a largelog about 100 yards awayfrom where the party hadbeen happening last night.Me, with my head nuzzledinto Owen Axel’s neck andhair that smell like muskand evergreen, my handson his hard chest that isrising steadily with eachbreath he takes. Me, as
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Owen Axel’s arms snakearound my body forprotection. This is what Isee when I wake up.
I shift to get a betterlook at our position. Ahcrap, that was a bad move.Because I can mostdefinitely feel a very large,very hard part of hisanatomy poking right up
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into my butt as I sit on topof him. How did we getout here?
Suddenly, ourconversation comesflashing back at me, and Ibite my lip to keep fromsmiling at his sweet words.
He wanted to get toknow me. And he’d comeover to take me for a walk
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before I’d made a stupidmistake with surfer dude.Not that these were pointsin his favor, but they werenice gestures. And nowthey needed to end, beforeI could let hope seep intomy pores.
“Owen, wake up!” Iwhisper scream in his ear,trying to wake him quickly
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but quietly. I didn’t needpeople to notice us outhere. The big rock softlysnoring under me doesn’tmove an inch. I poke hischest, flick his ear, and pryhis eyes open like I’d seenlittle kids do in movies.
I didn’t know how towake someone up, I’dnever been in this
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situation. So, I do the onlything left to do. I reachdown between us andsqueez the steel rodbetween his legs. Okay, somaybe that wasn’t the onlything left to do, but itwould definitely get hisattention. And I also maybewant to feel what he’spacking.
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“Mmmm, goodmorning,” he growls, andsnuggles me closer whilegrinding his hips into mybackside.
“No, get up. This isn’tsome booty call. We haveto get out of here.” I urge,trying to rouse him fromhis sleepy state.
“Its technically not a
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booty call if its in themorning, but I won’t fightsemantics with you. Nomore talking,” he nuzzleshis face into my neck andbegins to lick and bite thesensitive skin under myear.
Ahhh, that feelsinsanely good. Sensationzings down my spine, and
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a groan rips its waythrough my throat. I reallyneed to get off of him, butmy body won’t budgewhile he is lighting it onfire.
His rough hands rubcircles over my stomachwhile his playful mouthteases and kisses everyinch of skin north of my
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cleavage. I drop my headforward, unable to moveor think with his hands onme. It has only been aweek since I’d first spokento him, but I already cravehis touch.
“Slumming it now, arewe Owen?” That sickly-sweet voice snaps me outof my Owen trance. And
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its coming from the oneperson I hate more thananything on this earth.
Scrambling to my feet, Ipull at my clothes and hair,trying to adjust them tolook semi-presentable,even though I am probablycovered in dirt and theheavy eye makeup Kelseyhad applied the night
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before. Owen looks up,still blinking sleep out ofhis eyes, and scowls.
“What do you wantAllison?” He throws her apissed-off glance as heslowly gets to his feet.
She flicks her longblonde mane over hershoulder as she wraps ahand around Owen’s large
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right bicep. Allison’s hair,and her appearance forthat matter, is alwayseffortlessly perfect. She hasthe exact amount of wavethat made hair fall on thesexy, and notunmanageable, side ofcurly. Her cutoff jeanshorts and red crop topaccentuate her Miss Teen
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North Carolina figure. Shewore makeup, but knewhow to disguise it so wellthat it didn’t even look likehad it on at all. She wasbeautiful in a Hollywoodstarlet kind-of-way. Toobad her insides were sohideously ugly.
Since the incidentsophomore year, Allison
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had been one of the peopleto ensure I never forgot.She tore me downwhenever she could,reminding me andeveryone within earshotjust what had happenedwith Gregory.
The day I’d found outjust how badly he’d toyedwith me, she’d been
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among the leaders to circlearound my locker, baskingin the spectacle I’dbecome.
Gregory had been theone to steal my innocenceand ruin me from anyfuture relationship, butAllison had been the one tocement my social suicide.She’d murdered my high
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school existence and thenpowdered her nose on mydead body.
“Baby, where elsewould I be? The realquestion is, why didn’t Isee you at all last night? Ihad a very special presentfor you.” She bats herlashes at him, licking herlips and baring her teeth in
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a move that had herlooking more like a feralcat than a temptress if youasked me. “I see you’vetaken a ride on the townbus,” She giggles, hittinghis arm. She’s pretendingas if I’m not standing twofeet from them.
“What the fuck did youjust say?” His whole body
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tenses and vibrates, as if hewas tightening everymuscle to keep his anger atbay. “You know what,never mind Allison. You’renot worth it. You mightapologize for interruptingus, but I know the wordsorry doesn’t happen to bein your vocabulary. Wehave to get going, have a
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nice summer.” He politelysmiles at her while steeringme away with a hand atthe small of my back.
I turn around just intime to see Allison staringdaggers into my back, hereyes full of the promise ofrevenge.
My chest swells withhappiness at Owen picking
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me in that showdown. Hehadn’t even engaged her. Iwas surprised he’d actedso coldly towards her, butthen again, I realized Ididn’t know much abouthim below the surface. Ihad been judging him thisentire time, just like myclassmates had alwaysjudged me.
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“Well, looks like youtwo are just the best offriends,” Owen gives me asly, humor-filled smile.“Don’t mind Ali, she’s justmad that her soul is ablackhole of evil. You can’thelp feel bad for the girl.”
I choke on my laugh,shocked at what I’mhearing from him.
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“So, I take it you twohaven’t made out in frontof your lockers recently?”
He winces at mybringing up that memory.“Ew, I’m sorry you had towitness those unfortunatemoments of my life. It tookme way too damn long tofigure out that MissAmerica over there only
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wants to spend her futureathlete husband’s moneyon Botox and Prada.” Hisface turns stony, and helooks almost sad. It’sunexpected, butheartwarming.
“So, she interrupted us,huh?” I try to lift him fromthe funk that has settledover our conversation, but
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was surprised when Ibroached the subject ofwhat had happened beforeshe’d so rudely arrived.
“Oh you like me, youdon’t have to deny itanymore. Here give meyour phone,” he madegrabby fingers at me.
“Why?”“So I can put my
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number in it. I’d reallyrather not go a weekwithout talking to youafter I grope your assagain.” He deadpans. Inarrow my eyes at him,keeping my phone safelyin my grasp. “I’m kidding,Minka. I’d like to call you.So, let me give you mynumber.”
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Reluctantly, I hand myphone over. “I’m onlyletting you do this becauseyou’re so annoying andrelentless,” My smirk givesaway my lie. So maybe Ilike him, but I was beingcautious, looking for anysigns to duck and run.
He taps at the screen onmy phone for a minute or
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two, his cellphone rang,and then he locks myphone and hands it back tome. “I called myself so Ihave your number. Nowwe can text all the time.”He winks. I have to bitemy lips to stop fromsmiling at his adorablegesture.
“Well, I gotta get outta
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here. Summer trainingwaits for no one, especiallythis stud,” he jokes,pointing his thumbs at hisalready spectacular upperbody. Would it be weird ifI asked to watch him liftweights? Perhaps withouthis shirt on? Yeah, okay,that would be weird.
“Alright…..well, I’m
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going to go find myfriends….I guess I’ll, uh,see you around.” I shufflemy feet awkwardly, notquite knowing how to endthe exchange.
Waking on him thismorning had been….nicerthan I expected. I’d sleptreally well, surprisinglywell, and as weird as it
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was to admit it, waking upin his arms felt natural. Ithad me freaking out alittle.
He reaches out, usinghis thumb and forefingerto frame my chin and lift itup so that I’m looking himin the eye. Rubbing histhumb over my cheekbone,he gives me that
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devastating lazy grin,“Yeah, you’ll definitely beseeing me around.”
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10
MINKA
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Walking the grocery storealways calmed me
down. The aisles ofchoices, the singulardecisions needing to bemade. If the store wasn'tfull of bumbling moronsgetting in the way, then itwas almost zen-like.
That's why I came at 10a.m. on Tuesdays. No one
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was here to bother me. Icould mull over myproblems in peace whilepicking out which slice ofmeat would cook best.
That is, usually no onewas here to bother me.Chloe had decided to tagalong to pick up a newnotebook, and she wouldnot let sleeping dogs lie on
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the Owen issue."So, what are you
feeling?" She asks me forthe fiftieth time since wepulled out of the gravel lotof the field Sundaymorning.
Grabbing a few steam-in-bag freezer pouches ofvegetables and throwingthem, rather aggressively,
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into the cart, I turn to her."I don't know. Can we
please just shop in blissfulpeace?" I grunt and pushthe fallen strands of myhair out of my face.
"I don't understandwhy you like this? Youshould definitely haranguethis duty onto your dad."Chlo skips down the aisle
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and does a little turn. She’salways dancing to get fromplace to place. Hazards ofbeing a ballerina and all.
And no, I couldn'tschlep this responsibilityon my dad. Mostlybecause I would never eat,because he would nevershop. But I think this wasone of those things that
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reminded him of mom.And I typically tried tospare him any pain whenit came to that arena.
"I just do. Now zip it orwe won't lay out later." Imove towards the breadaisle, quietly weighingwhether I want wheatbread or deli thins.
The truth is, I don't
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know how I feel. I havebeen really trying to avoidOwen since the summerstarted. Of course, a girlisn't perfect and she musthave a few slips. Likewhen he stripped menaked from the waistdown after our run. Orhow I ended up on his laplast weekend. I thought
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those moments of purestupidity would havecleansed my system ofhim. Given me thesatisfaction I needed tomove on.
But now that he'sgotten into my bloodstream, the addictionseems stronger than ever. Ican't forget his chorded,
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muscled arms around meas I woke up from one ofthe best sleeps I'd everhad. I can't forget the sexy,arousing noises he made inhis groggy, morning voiceas he grinded me againsthis lap.
When a moan almostslips past my lips, I have tocheck myself and
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remember where I am. Ihave to forget thosemoments. Owen, andeverything he brings withhim, is bad news. He isexactly what I was tryingto avoid going into thissummer, not to mentionthe rest of my life.
He's one of the goldenones. Part of those people
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who can do wrong, whoget away with everythingand take anything thatcatches their eye. I sworeto myself that I wouldn'tget tangled up in thatfucked-up spider's webonce again. And I need tostick to it.
Now if only someonecould tell my body that.
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And not that I would ever,ever admit this out loud oreven consciously to myself,but someone needed to tellmy heart that too. Becauseever since that night,Owen had been texting menon-stop.
Ding! My phonechimed with yet anothertext from him.
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"Oh my god, is that himagain! He definitely likesyou. Or at least wants tofeel you up again." Chloeshrugs as if they were onein the same. Jesus.
Owen: Ok, are you a dogor a cat person?
He'd been doing this"get to know you" gamefor almost three days
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straight. I told him thisclassified as stalking, andhe told me it wasn't creepyunless he held me downagainst my will and forcedme to spill my favorite icecream flavor.
Which is an image Istill can't get out of myhead. My panties can'teither.
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Huffing, I answer. Heonly gets more annoying ifhe doesn't get a response.
Minka: Dogs. But notthose little rat dogs. If it'ssmaller than a cat, its reallynot a dog, is it?
Owen: Thank god. If yousaid cats, I probably wouldhave had to stop talking toyou. And we both would have
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been disappointed.Smirking, I sent a
response back.Minka: Scratch that. I like
cats. Love them. I want to diewith like 87 in my house.
Owen: Smartass. Ok,now if you had a magic carpetto take you anywhere, wherewould you go?
Was “back in time to
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correct the biggest mistakeof my life,” an appropriateanswer? Probably not. But,I'd had this answer in myhead for a long time.
Minka: England.Remember, Pride andPrejudice, favorite book.
Owen: Oh yeah, right.You're so sexy when you talk19th century lit to me,
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Braxton.I smiled, an earnest
genuine smile, at his funnyjab.
Shit, what was I doing?Looking up, Chlo was at adead stop in front of me, abored look on her face.
"When you're donetoreplaying with goldenboy over there, I'm ready
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to go." She taps her foot foremphasis.
"Toreplaying?" Iseriously didn't knowwhat the hell she wastalking about half the time.
"Text foreplay.Massaging each otherthrough the phone,romantically. That's whatyour smile would indicate
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anyway.""Ew, that sounds
disgusting. Also, you’re acomplete hopelessromantic. A beautiful,graceful one, but hopelessnone the less."
She grabs the side ofthe cart, as if she’s my five-year-old child, andmotions for me to start
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walking. I wheel us towardthe checkout, turmoilbuilding in my head.
I had to stop this withOwen. It had gone on longenough and I really didn'tneed to genuinely like thisguy more than I alreadydid. Yes, he was sweet,funny and had really greatabs. But he would hurt me.
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I could feel it in my bonesthat if I went any further,got any more wrapped upin his orbit, that goldenboy would burn me up inhis rays.
I simply couldn't affordit again.
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11
OWEN
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There is no better smell thanthat of a worn-in glove.
The whiff of crushed-inleather, form fitted to thehand of the owner, mixedwith fresh-cut grass andsand pulled right off thetrack. The tinge ofNovember air that stilllingers in the seams. If youlean in close, you can sniff
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the trademarks of theballpark, hot dogs andcheap beer. Maybe even atobacco stain or two.
Forget religion,baseball is my church. Andthe mound is where I cometo worship.
I launch ball after ballat the net setup behindhome plate, glancing now
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and then at the radardisplay board. 85 MPH…89 MPH…97 MPH.Curveball, fastball, slider.Rinse, repeat, and perfect.
Its somewhat ironicthat the very thing I feelthe most pressure about inlife is also my therapeuticoutlet. Which explainswhy, after a father-son
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battle that could rivalWorld War II, I’ve beenstanding on my littleleague field for the last twohours. Dusk has begin toset in, but I have nointention of dragging myass home to hear moreabout “priorities” and“expectations.”
You would think that I
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wasn’t the most highlyscouted college player ofthe year. That I didn’t havesix or seven calls a month,from the agent who hadalready signed me, tellingme which farm team wasasking me to leave collegenow and play full time.That I didn’t put everyounce of my energy, drive,
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blood and sweat into thisgame. Carl Axel alwaysexpected more.
You’re looking a littlepudgey, son. Sure youaren’t overdoing thebeer and under-doingthe workouts thissummer? What wasyour latest pitch
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speed? You need to beworking on perfectingthat slider, boy,remember thatSouthern Virginiascored three homeruns off you after youfucked that pitch up.
Leave it to dad toremember every single
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strike, or in this case hit,against me. And mom,yeah, she tried to keep himoff my back, but shewasn’t much help.
Raquel Axel was aformer Braziliansupermodel who hadmoved to the U.S. in thelate 80s, meeting, andshortly thereafter,
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marrying my father whenthey both lived in NewYork. They didn’t have theperfect marriage, but shewas just stubborn enoughto keep him in line for themost part, and is still justas beautiful as whenthey’d met, meaning hestayed faithful as far as Icould tell.
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My mom was great—nurturing, encouraging,supportive— but that wasovershadowed byanything he said. Afather’s approval is whatevery son chases.
“Keep throwing 95-ersfor shits and giggles andyour arm will be deaderthan Thurman Munson.”
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I turn around to seeFarris walking leisurelydown through the chainlink dugout, grinning likea moron at his stupid assjoke.
“The baseball gods areseriously going to smiteyou one of these days, bro.And it was 97, not 95.” Iwhip the ball half-
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heartedly at his head, buthe’s always one moveahead of me with his short-stop ninja skills.
Miles Farriston and Ihave been best friendssince the day wediscovered our mutualhatred of the hitting tee.Shithead little punks thatwe were, we thought we’d
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swing our LouisvilleSluggers au natural fromthe word “go.” Whilewe’ve improved over theyears, and leaned oncoaches and trainers foradvice, our friendship hasalways been a constant.
“Yeah, well, all I’msaying is you gotta cool itman. We need that arm to
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take us to championshipsagain this year.” Whenwe’d been applying tocolleges, it was anunspoken agreement thatwe’d end up at the sameone. Miles had beencleaning up my mistakeson the second base linesince elementary school,and we weren’t splitting
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up now.“What’re you doing
here anyway, man? Ithought Olivia was comingto visit this week.” I walkinto the dugout with him,joining him on the benchand hunching over, restingmy elbows on my knees.
“Nah man, she bailedagain. Had some last
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minute emergency comeup.” He tried to shrug itoff casually, but I couldsense the unease behindhis movements.
He’d been datingOlivia for the past year,but she’d yet to come visitthis summer like she’dpromised. In my opinion,she was a spoiled groupie
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brat who was milkingMiles for his campuscelebrity status and money— the Farriston’s basicallyowned half the east coast— but it wasn’t my placeto tell him who to date.
Before I could dole outsome lame ass remarkabout it being ok, Milesgoes for the jugular, “So,
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what’s with you bangingthe high schooler?”
What? How did heknow I’d been hangingaround with Minka. “Whatdo you mean?”
“I saw you traipse offwith that hot brunette atthe field. Hinkley told meshe’s in his grade. You tapthat? Cause she has a
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seriously nice rack man.”“Don’t talk about her
like that. And no, I haven’t“‘tapped that.’” I shoothim a pissed-off glare. Ihave the sudden urge topunch him for eyeingMinka’s tits.
“Woah, calm down A-Rod. Get it, cause he wason the roids?” he flashes
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me his trademark goofballsmile.
“Dude, we’ve goneover this, if you have toexplain the joke, it was nota good one.”
“Whatever. But bro, doyou like this girl orsomething?” He eyes mycuriously, and a beat ofsilence passes when I don’t
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give him an answer.“Wait a second, you do!
You gushy son of a bitch.”Miles punches my arm andstarts bouncing his legs upand down, vibrating themetal bench we’re perchedon. “Did you throw rocksat her window? Standunder her balcony with aradio over your head?
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Man, was your first kiss inthe pouring rain?”
I think my jaw hung solow in shock that it washovering over the tops ofmy shoes. “Dude, yourknowledge of romanticcomedies astounds, andnauseates, me. Also, if youtalk about her tits again I’lltake a bat to your junk so
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hard, you won’t be able towalk for a week. I’mseeing where it goes. Leaveit at that.”
“Axel, I knew youalways wanted on thesenuts, but you gotta warmme up before you takeyour bat to me.” He winksand then doubles over athis own joke. Miles is all
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about the laughter, jokesand fun. Although he’dnever officially confided inme, a thought that stilldisappointed me becauseof how long we’d beenfriends, I had a feeling hishome life was a lot worsethan mine. His jokes werehis shield.
“Alright dickwad, I
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gotta split. See you nextweek for arms? I’m gonnakick your scrawny ass.”Walking towards my car, Ithrow a cocky smile at mybest friend, who no onewould ever in their lifedescribe as scrawny. Farrisis a beast; he has at leastthree inches and fiftypounds on me. But bicep
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and tricep work is hisworst area, and I rag onhim whenever I get thechance.
“In your dreams,pussy.” I hear as I reachmy black pickup, my cellvibrating against my thigh.Pulling it out, I read thetext from Minka.
Minka: White chocolate
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anythingSince our night of
cuddling at the field onSaturday, I’d been textingher on and off for fourdays. I was trying to takethings slow, because if Iknew anything, it was thatshe spooked easily. Or thatany girl would kick youout after basically
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humping them like ahorny gorilla withoutasking their middle name.Nonetheless, I was tryingto get back in her goodgraces.
My previous text hadasked her what herfavorite candy was. Myplan was to try and pryinformation from this
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stubborn, formidable girl.So far we’d coveredfavorite movies, books - ofwhich she had an itemizedlist, foods, colors andmusic.
She desperately wantedto travel to England, hatedroller coasters and thoughtvideo games were thespawn of Satan. And she
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was funny. Hilarious,actually. She spoke outloud, or texted in this case,what people were usuallytoo afraid to say, and hadno qualms about spoutingher opinions.
But for the past coupleof days I could tell she wastrying to push me off. Heranswers were getting less
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and less involved. Herresponses were lessfrequent. So she didn’twant to let me in? Too bad.I’d bulldoze through thatwall and make her get toknow me.
Folding myself into thedriver’s seat, I checked thetime on my dash radio. 7p.m. I’d waited long
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enough to make my nextmove. And in all honesty, Iwas dying to see Minka’sface. She was quicklybecoming an addiction,drinking in her sun kissedcomplexion, those darkoval eyes framed by long,sexy lashes.
Yeah, decision made. Iswing my car out of the
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parking spot and plan mynext course of action.
I STAND in front of her door,Mitch’s Deli bag in hand,forty five minutes later. Iknock lightly, hoping togod her parents aren’thome and that she doesn’tget pissed that I’m here. I
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also hope that she is in atowel, fresh from theshower. I’d definitely beenwatching too much pornthis year.
The heavy oak door ofMinka’s spacious ranch-style home opens,revealing the mostbreathtaking sight.Seriously, this girl literally
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takes my breath awayevery time I see her. Imentally kick myself againfor not noticing her thetwo years we attendedhigh school together.
She wore short olivegreen pajama bottoms thatlooked like they’d beblanket-soft to the touch.They rested about two
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inches down her thigh,and the rest of her shapely,sexy legs were bare.Above, she wore nothingbut a brown strappy tanktop. Her beautiful, roundtits were straining againstthe material, and when Isaw her nipples start toharden beneath my stare,all the blood in my body
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poured directly into mynow stiff cock. Shit, shewasn’t wearing a bra.Taking this slow was goingto be very, very hard.Literally.
“What’re you doinghere?” She askssuspiciously, but doesn’tlook pissed. Actually, shelooks kind of happily
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annoyed. I can work withthat.
“So, did you know thatwhite chocolate isn’t evenreally chocolate? Its sugar.And its nasty. Buttt…I’velearned, through mysuperior investigativeskills these past few days,that we both have the sameorder from Mitch’s.” I
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shake the brown paper bagin hand at her.
“You brought me acheesesteak with extrapickles?” Minka asks indisbelief.
“Wait, I thought yousaid you liked pulled porkon potato bread….” I trailoff and smile when shescowls at me. “Yes, I
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brought us cheesesteaks,with extra pickles. But, youcan only have it if youinvite me in.”
My offer dangles in theair, she’s leaving mehanging on purpose whileshe hops back and forthfrom foot to foot with athinking face on. The littlebrat.
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“Ok fine, you maycome in. But only becauseI’d give up my first bornchild for a Mitch’scheesesteak.”
She turns, leading theway into her house, givingme an outrageous view ofher mass of curls sweepingover the curve of tailbone.I groan inwardly, trying to
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keep my lust in check.She takes some dishes
and silverware out of thecabinets, and sets the tableso I can sit at the head withher on my right side. Iempty the contents of thebag and set the items outaccordingly.
“One loaded picklecheesesteak for the
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beautiful lady.” I smile acheshire cat grin at her. Ireally, really need to winher over tonight. Thisconstant rejection wasn’tgood for my ego.
She rolls her eyes at meand climbs into the chair,sitting indian style whileshe eats. I watch herunwrap the sandwich as I
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do the same. I wasconstantly enthralled byher movements. She hadsuch interesting ticks; theway she tucked her hairbehind her ears every 10seconds, how she blinkedthose long lasheswhenever she lookedanother direction, the wayshe chewed her ring finger
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when she was nervous.Minka had so manymovements, all I wanted todo was sit there and studythem forever.
“So, what did you dotoday?” I try for small talkas I take my first bite.
“What is this, familydinner time?” She rolls hereyes at me. Another
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movement that she liked todo, a lot.
“Well no, I am glad thatwe are far from family.” Iwink. “But I’d really like toknow what you have onyour plate for the rest ofthe summer.”
She pops a pickle in hermouth. “Fair enough. I’mtaking some university
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level courses down at thecommunity college.”
“Wow. That’sambitious.Towards….nursing, right?You’d mentioned youwanted to be a nurse.” Itake a massive bite of mycheesesteak. Just the rightamount of meat to cheeseto onions ratio. My
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stomach thanked me.“That’s right.” She
looks a little surprised thatI’d remembered that.“Biology 101 and someother pre-req courses. I’mtrying to fast-track andearn my degree in threeyears.”
“Why would you wantto do that? I’m staying
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until they kick me out.”“Let’s just say that
school is not my thing.”She looks down at thecheesesteak which she’dyet to take a bite from.
“But you said beforethat you were great atschool, that mere mortalshad to be smart becausethey didn’t look like Greek
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gods and have the abilityto give any woman amind-blowing org…..”
“OK!” She cuts me off.“First of all, I never saidthose things about you,quit strok...er, building,your ego.” She blushes ather almost slip up. Damnshe was cute. “Second, yesI’m super smart. Its the
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classmates and social scenething I can’t stand.” I cansee hesitation and a tingeof sadness in her eyes, andI wonder who put it there.And where I could findthem to pummel the livingshit out of them.
“That’s too bad.College is awesome, I havea feeling you might like it.
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The partying and the girlsare fun, yeah, but beingable to get away from youparents and theirpressure…. its so damnfreeing.” I swallow,realizing I’m projecting myown shit onto hersituation.
“You feel pressure?That seems impossible.”
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She takes a bite, lookingdoubtful.
“When your father wasone of the best baseballplayers in the last 70 years,you’re expected to be justas good, if not better. Doyou know how manycollege baseball playerswash out before evenmaking it to the minors?
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Do you know how manyleft handed pitchers thereare playing in the majors?Not many. I’ll be lucky tomake it through mycollege career withoutthrowing my arm out.”
I blink, realizing I’vejust unloaded a ton ofbaggage onto her lap.When I look up, I meet her
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soft brown eyes.Thankfully, they aren’tfilled with pity. They’refilledwith…..understanding.
“I’m sorry. That doesseem like a lot of pressure.For what its worth, I hearyou really have what ittakes to go big time.” Shegives me a small smile.
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And just hearing thosewords from this girl hasme more confident thanI’ve ever been that I’llmake it to the MLB.
“So what else? Stalkany Jane Austen characterslately?” I tease her. She’dtold me earlier that Prideand Prejudice was one ofher favorite books, and
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that she’d read it morethan 15 times.
“Ha-ha, very funny.You’re no Mr. Darcy.”
“No, I’m definitely aMr. Bingley. Which is somuch better, since he’s thereal dreamboat.” I bat mylashes at her, pretending tofawn.
“You read Pride and
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Prejudice?” I can hear theshock in her voice.
“Don’t act so surprised,your rudeness isshowing.” She lifts herhands up as if to say she’ssorry. “Yes, I don’t liveunder a rock. I may haveread it for school, but itdidn’t suck.”
“If only your buddies
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could hear that youenjoyed an 19th centuryromance novel.” Shechides me as she popsanother pickle in hermouth. And if I keepthinking about pickles inher mouth I might die. Yes,the pre-pubescent boy inme can still get hardhearing the most asinine of
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innuendos when it comesto Minka.
“Where else would Ilearn all of my woo-ingmoves?” She throws a fryat me, which I promptlycatch in my mouth. “Butseriously, I read. I justfinished the last ‘Girl Withthe Dragon Tattoo’ book. Itwas awesome, Swedes are
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badass.”She blinks and then
gives me a smile I swearwould knock me off myfeet if I was standing.“Those books areawesome.”
We eat the rest of ourmeal in relative silence,which is only broken up bybrief small talk and her
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groans of satisfaction asshe eats the entirecheesesteak. Its refreshingto hang out with a girl whodoesn’t pretend she onlyeats kale and yogurt.
“Thank you fordinner.” She says with notrace of sarcasm at all.
Here's my opening. Imentally prepare myself
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for the rejection, when ithits me off guard in theside of the head. Shit, Ihadn't even been able toget two words out.
"Owen, whateveryou're doing. It's not goingto work."
Charm, keep thatcharm. "What do youmean, gorgeous?"
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Minka rolls her eyes."This. Whatever plan youhave. Listen, I actually dothink you might be a niceperson. But believe mewhen I tell you, not onlyam I not looking foranything, but I'mdefinitely not looking foranything with a superstarathlete golden boy."
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I frown at her summaryof me.
"Don't give me thatface, you know where youcome from. And again, it'snot because you aren'tnice. You've been nothingbut kind since we met. I'mjust not in your league,and I personally don'twant to be there."
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Well there it is. Theunderlying issue. This girlreally does hate thepopular crowd. Not that Iblame her. And I alsoreally hate that peoplelump me in there.
"I understandyour...feelings aboutpeople like me, as you say.But give me a chance. You
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have no idea who I am. Ilike you, and I want to getto know you more. Byshutting me out now, youare basically judging methe same way you think'people like me' judgeyou."
I can see her warmingto the idea. She knew thatshe was doing to me
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exactly what had beendone, or what I assumedhad been done, to her foryears.
“Fine. But only becauseyou played the ‘don'tjudge a book by its cover’card. And I love books."She gives me a small smile."So....I was planning to doa complete Lost marathon
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on Netflix. You could stayif you want….”
She’d left the door openand there was no way Iwas going anywhere.“Well that depends. Areyou Team Jack or TeamSawyer?” I eye her,plastering my big-time flirtsmile on my face andplacing my chin on top of
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my hands.“Team Jack, all the
way. He and Kate aremeant to be together.” Sheanswers quickly andvehemently.
“Ok, then I can stay.” Inod, making a show ofrelaxing my body, “WhileSawyer is a total badass,Dr. Jack Shephard is my
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ladies-man idol.”Minka glowers at me. I
follow her into the livingroom after she dumps thedishes in the sink.
Rounding the corner, Isee the couch that held thememories from that fatefulafternoon. She catches myeye, and as if she can readmy thoughts, raises her
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brows suggestively at me.Woah….is she taunting
me? My dick does a happyjolt, wanting very much tobe in between her legs,pressed up against herheat on that couch. I adjustmyself when she turnsaround. I really don’t needher bolting now, and takea seat more towards the
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middle of the it, hopingshe’ll sit close enough so Ican feel her smooth body.
She jiggles some wiresin back of the TV andgrabs the remote, settingup the streaming on herNetflix app. Now this isn’tan insult to girls, but Iknow plenty who have noidea how to turn on basic
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cable. The fact that Minkasets up the entire thingherself has me semi-hard.Chicks who knowtechnology are a turn-on.
She settles on thecouch, and isn’t sitting onthe opposite end, but alsoisn’t close enough to toucheither. She presses somebuttons on the remote, and
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suddenly we are fallingfrom the plane onto thedeserted island. I study herout of the corner of myeye, itching to wrap myarm around her slimshoulders, massage theskin under my fingers andfeel it go warm under mytouch.
She’s tuned into the
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show now, so much so thatshe gasps when the engineon the beach explodes,forcing Hurley to grab thepregnant chick. Meanwhileover on my side of hell,you could cut the tensionin the air with a knife.
It's like there is thiselectric current running inthe empty space between
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her and I on the couch. Iwant to breach it so bad,but don’t want to send herfleeing like last time. Iignore my stupid manlyurges and try to focus onthe TV. She asked me tostay, and I don’t want tojeopardize my chance bydoing something hornyand idiotic.
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By the time Jack isgetting stitched up byKate, Minka and I haveslowly inched into thevalley that spannedbetween us. Her thigh is soclose to mine now that Ican feel the goose bumpsrunning down my legs tothe balls of my feet. Herscents wafts over me;
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citrusy and fresh yet sweet,like flowers. Its driving meinsane. I want to bury myface in her neck and hair,hear those whimpers shemade for me when she wason her back in this veryspot, my fingers milkingher orgasm.
But, I’ll settle forcuddling. Hell, I would
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settle for being allowed tojust look at her for severalhours. But….I want totouch her so bad ithurts….so the bastard I ammakes a break for it.
Slowly, and with all thecontrol I can manage, I liftmy right hand up to myear, scratching a fake itch. Ihesitate with it there, my
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elbow in mid-air, andslowly arch it back as if I’mstretching, all while fakeyawning in the process.
Great. I’ve basicallyreduced myself to a 12-year-old trying to touch agirl for the first time in themovie theater. But Minkajust makes me so nervous,something I’m quickly
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learning that I actuallylike. No girl has ever mademe feel like this, and Iwant to know why shedoes. I groan inwardly, butkeep going, because thereis no way I’m pulling backnow.
Finally, my arm landson the back of the couchwith a soft thud, and its
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more like she’s sitting inmy embrace rather thansnuggling. I let out awhoosh of breath,realizing I’d been holdingit, waiting to see how shewould react.
Minka looks cautiouslyat my arm draped over herspace, and then swingsthose beautiful eyes up to
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mine. I see amusement inthem, and a smirk dustingher pouty lips. Withoutsaying anything, sheburrows into my side,moving closer, and drapesher arm across mystomach.
My heart startsspasming and jumping forjoy as I curl my arm
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protectively around herand adjust so that her headis in the crook of my neck.I try to forget that her handis dangerously close to thetool between my thighsdesperately calling for her.
We sit conjoined likethis for the next twoepisodes, not talking butsimply watching and
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enjoying each other’scompany. I’ve never hungout with a girl without thepurpose of it leadingsomewhere. It feels nice.
While I may want tostrip her naked and get mymouth all over her, that’sthe understatement of theyear, there’s no pressureon the situation. Which is
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strange.When I’m hooking up
with a girl, because I rarelyever hang out with themon a platonic basis, there isalways a clock on it. I wantto get in them, get us off,and get them out of myroom. I don’t usually wantall of the strings that comeattached to anything more.
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But Minka could make meher goddamn puppet andI’d be so fucking happy.
Allison was my onlytrue girlfriend, and withher, we’d been hornyteenagers trying to provesomething. We would goat it, not smoothly orsuccessfully either,whenever we had alone
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time.We weren’t really
interested in what theother liked or had to say,because in truth, we werejust using each other. I waspopular, she was popular,people expected us to date.I liked the perks of havinga girlfriend, and she likedwearing my jersey.
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In college, I’d had myfair share of drunken hookups and groupies throwingthemselves at me, but itwas all empty. The entiretime I fucked one of them,I was worrying about howI’d talk her out of my bedafter.
Netflix begins to cue upepisode four, and I wave of
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panic hits me in the chestas I realize how late it is,and that I’ll have to let goof her soon. I tighten myarm around her, gentlynuzzling the top of herhair.
“You feel amazing.” Iblurt out as I rub myfingertips up and downher silky arm. So much for
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not scaring her away,asshat.
Minka chuckles.“You’re not so badyourself, Mr. Washboard.”
“Checking me out, eh?Does that mean I canreturn the favor?” I anglemy body to semi-leer ather, which earns me agentle swat to my cheek. I
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quickly cover her handwith my own, loving thefeel of her soft palmcaressing my stubble.
We stare at each other,a buzz starting to form inat the top of my spine. It’slike my whole body isvibrating I want to kiss herso bad. I watch her bigbrown eyes drop to my
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lips, and my hearthammers against my ribcage. Slowly, I remove mybig hand from where itdwarfs hers on my cheek,and reach for her heartshaped face.
I frame it delicately,reveling in how hersmooth chin feels in myrough hands. Minka leans
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into my touch, her upperbody facing me now, legstangled with my mine aswe sit intertwined. I runmy thumb along hercheekbone, feeling my skinspark with yearning as Igo. Her eyes fill with lust,and a bit of apprehension,but not enough to stop mefrom my perusal of her
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skin.It seems like hours that
I sit there, just feeling herface under my fingertips,mesmerized by her eyes.
A sensation in my chesthas me anxious, onlybecause I’ve never felt itbefore. When I look intoMinka’s eyes, its as if she’sseeing me, right down to
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the soul. Like with hereyes she’s saying, “Iunderstand you. Yourfears, your doubts, whatmakes you tick.”
And it should scare me,especially because we’vebarely spent any timetogether, but oddly, it'slike a puzzle piece haslocked into place. We sit
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there, feasting on eachother’s eyes, roaming theother’s face, and all I canthink is, complete.
I crane my headtowards hers, neverbreaking eye contact, andhear Minka’s sharp intakeof breath. Goosebumpstrail down my arms andI’m literally shaking with
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the need to take her lips,fast and hard, but I holdmyself back with all of thecontrol I can muster.
I don’t want to scareher, I want to do this right.I trail my thumb from hertemple down to herjawbone, stoking her skinand forcing her to puckerher lips toward me. Her
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eyes flutter closed, as ifshe’s waiting for me toclose the gap and initiate.But I can’t seem to. All Iwant to do is stare at her,like this, so ready and fullof anticipation. The buildup is almost as good asactually kissing her.
I move a fraction,feeling like I’ll explode if I
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don’t kiss her now, andseal my lips over her softand delicate pair. Andfuck, this is so much betterthan the build up. She rubsher lips over mine, and Ifeel my dick go rock solidin my pants.
I slide my lips overevery inch of hers, anglingmy head to taste her in
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slow, lazy kisses. Insidemy chest, my heart iskeeping a frantic beat, andevery time she makes abreathy sigh when wecome up for air, I feel littleelectric jolts of need pulsethrough my body.
I can feel her gettingbolder, beginning to bite atmy lips, which sends every
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ounce of blood in my bodydirectly to the massivehard on I’m sporting. Ihave to slow her down orI’m going to get carriedaway. I already want toswallow her whole as itwas. But her tongue is nowdoing a damn sexy twistwith mine, thrusting intomy mouth like I’d
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imagined thrusting intoher tight body.
And now she’s pullingaway. Eyeing me with apotent stare, her hands goto the hem of her cottonshirt. My mouth is dry andmy hands begin to tingle. Iwant to touch her so bad inthe place she’s soon toreveal to me that I might
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convulse. I probably looklike a jonesing drug addictinstead of the debonairestud I’m going for. Ishould stop her, but I’mfrozen.
And then its off. Thelittle brown wisp of a shirtflutters over her head andto the floor. And now Ithink I’ve died and gone to
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heaven.
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12
MINKA
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Isit there, naked from thetop up, as Owen stares at
me. He looks like astarving animal about todevour me, but all he cando is sit there with his jawhanging open, staring atmy now very alert nipples.And it makes me feeloddly…powerful.
Powerful is not
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something I ever felt withGregory. I always felt like Iwas being dragged underthe ocean, willfully goingwith the current but not incontrol of my own body.And now that I felt thispower, I was almost notregretting my bolddecision.
I’m very aware that I
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am a walking cliche. Oneminute I’m warning himoff, and the next I’mstripping for him so I canbe completely naked forhis hands to roam over me.
But the way Owen waskissing me with such care,mixed with such scorchingheat, lit something upinside of me and started
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burning down all of mydefenses. I was tired ofdenying my body what itwanted, what I wanted,because of a stupiddecision I’d made yearsago. I wasn’t going intothis blind, and I couldprotect myself from fallingfor Owen. I just wanted hisbody.
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This had nothing to dowith the fact that he’dbrought me a cheesesteakfrom Mitch’s. I didn’t hearmy heart sigh anddramatically swoon whenI’d opened the door to thatfamiliar smell. Damntraitorous heart.
I’m still posed there onthe couch for him, and I
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start to feel too exposed.He’s still just gaping at me,and I have the urge tocross my arms over mynaked breasts. I start tomove them when he says,“No don’t. I’m sorry…I’mjust staring at you like anidiot…..but Jesus. Minkayou’re incredible.”
He reaches out
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tentatively and grazes hishand on the outer part ofthe right mound, causinggoosebumps to break outover my skin. I whimperand close my eyes, becausehis fingers whisperingover my skin is alreadyundoing me and he isn’teven really touching me.
Slowly, he bends
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forward, molding bothhands over the tips of mybreasts and tweaking mynipples, not gently, but notpainfully either. Thepressure is exactly what Ineed, and I arch my back,sending them more firmlyinto his hands.
Then he starts lickingand sucking my
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collarbone, which gets meeven more turned on thanI already am. I imaginehim licking and suckingme where I ache, and morewetness floods the laceboyshorts that I, thankgod, am wearing.
His tongue begins toscale my neck, and when itgets to the certain spot that
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shoots heat straight to mycore, I let him know, “Yes,right there.” I groan as hefuses his lips to my skin.
He lifts his head, hisblue eyes now molten, thecolor of an ocean in the eyeof a storm. “You like whenI kiss that spot, huh?”
Lowering his head tomy nipples, he never
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breaks eye contact as helatches onto one. Its eroticand embarrassing at thesame time. I want to lookaway, but am somesmerized by what he’sdoing, and what that wasdoing to my alreadysoaked panties, that Isimply can’t.
Whenever Gregory and
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I had done anything, thelights were off. He hadn’tbothered to talk or look atme. If this is whateveryone experiencedduring sex, which we werefar from, I now got whythey made such a hootabout it.
My skin is on fire as hekneads my nipples
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between his lips and teeth,working me up and thenpulling away periodicallyto study me or place ascorching kiss on my lips.His hair is tousled frommy fingers runningthrough it, and I can’t waitany longer to see what’sunderneath those clothes.
I try to push him back
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and sexily undress him,but end up pawing hisback awkwardly when hewon’t take his mouth offmy breasts. I let himcontinue his oralexploration while pullingat his shirt.
“God, you’re alwaystrying to get me naked.”He jokes and pulls his t-
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shirt over his head.I suck in a gasp and
can’t help it when myhands immediately fly tohis stomach, tracing andmassaging the lines of hisglorious abs.
“Ah...fuck.” Owenflinches as I continuetouching him. I look upwhen he curses, fearing
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I’ve done somethingwrong, and meet his eyes.“You have to stop.”
I bring my fingersquickly back to my lap as ifI’d been burned. I wasdoing it wrong. I could feelthe shame creep into mycheeks.
“No, no, Minka. Notbecause it doesn’t feel
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good. Shit.” He looksapologetic and frantic,which brought some relief.I wasn’t the best at this,but I was trying so hard tomake this good for him. “Ijust…..if you keeptouching me like that, thisis going to be over way toosoon.”
I snort, finally
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understanding hisdiscomfort.
“No please, laugh atthe guy who just admittedhe was about to come inhis pants. Makes me feel somuch more macho.”
I lean in, cupping hisface and taking his lipswith my own. For somereason, around Owen, I
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feel brave. Sure, he mademy stomach do flips, andhis drop-deadgorgeousness made medizzy, but I didn’t feel likethat young, inexperiencedgirl who had gotten inover her head. I wanted totake control, have thenormal experience all highschool girls were supposed
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to have.I pull him down with
me as I lie back on thecouch, and he moves sothat we are laying side byside, my breasts pushedagainst his magnificentpecs. His skin is hotagainst my front, makingmy nipples impossiblyharder.
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His mouth moves overmy mine, his tonguecontrolling the kiss. Myhead was spinning, andwhen he eased out and bitdown on my lip, a gutturalsound cut the air. I didn’teven realize it had comefrom me until he wasattacking my mouth,growling down my throat.
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I felt his hand brandmy hip, kneading andcaressing the skin overtopmy bone. With everyswipe, I felt my clit throb. Icould feel how heavy andhot it was against the lacefabric every time I writhedagainst him.
As if hearing my silentpleas to move further
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south, his hand slips undermy waistband. I was soworked up, I didn’t evencare that we were back inthe same place we’d beentwo weeks ago. I wasn’tquestioning this, it felt toogood. Let regretful andangry Minka surface later.
His fingertip brushesmy clit, and just that touch
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sends a lightning bolt upmy spine. I choke out a cryof relief, and then a longmoan as he circles twofingers around thesensitive nub.
“You’re so fucking wet.Fuck…” I can hear himgroan into my neck, wherehis head currently rests ashe eases a finger inside me.
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Oh god, that feels good.Heavenly. It had been solong since someone otherthan myself had touchedme there.
And Owen wasamazing at it. He touchesme reverently, like he’sworshipping every sectionof my skin. He knowsexactly where to press,
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where to stroke, so that inminutes, I am so close torelease I can feel thefamiliar tingling in mybelly. I’m shaking like aleaf in his arms, my bodyso tense, it was resting on apeak that I was about totumble over.
He begins to kiss me,his lips coating mine and
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sending my nerve endingssparking. “Come for me,Minka.” He breathesraggedly into my mouth.His words send metumbling head first intothe sensations. I tense forsplit-second, all of myfocus zeroed in on hisfingers pressing againstmy clit, and then the
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orgasm hits me.I gyrate against his
fingers, my nipplesbrushing the lightsmattering of hair on hischest, and bury my face inhis neck. My orgasmreaches into every creviceof my body, melting intomy skin, and I stretch withit from my fingertips to my
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toes, trying to hold on toevery last second of it.
My breathing slowsand I bring my head up tolook at Owen. He eyes aresmoldering, switchingback and forth from myown as if he was trying towatch the last of theorgasm drain out of me.
“That was…...the
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hottest thing I’ve everseen.” He kept up hissearch in my eyes while Igrinned like a moron. Itwas the best thing I’d everfelt. And all I wanted to dowas return the favor. Makehim feel as good as I felt.And maybe, just maybe,prove to myself that Icould do this. I could make
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someone unravel.Putting a sultry
expression on my face, oras sultry as I could muster,I place my hands back onhis abs, feeling the ridgesand his musclescontracting under myfingertips.
“You don’t….you don’thave to do this.” Owen
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says, doubt and hopemixed in his breathydeclaration. I continue myexploration of his chest,while at the same timesilencing him by sealingmy lips over his.
I tease his lips, coaxinghim and trying to mimiceverything he’d just doneto me. “I do what I want.”
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Anxiety, andsomething else, maybepower, swim in my veinsas I slip my hand furtherdown, inching my fingerspast the elastic band on hisbasketball shorts. I feel hisstomach tighten, and hesteals the breath out of mymouth as he sharplyinhales into our kiss.
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I break away from hislips, too nervous andfocused on concentratingon where to put my hand. Iwas going blind, tooembarrassed to look downand correct mymovements, when myhand connected withsomething hard andfleshy.
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“Ahhhh,” Owen gruntsas I realizes I’ve brushedthe tip of him.
I circle him with myhand and tugged gentlyupwards, feeling a bead ofwetness drip onto mysemi-closed fist.
“Fuck…..Minka...hmmm,”Owen’s talking in non-words now, reassuring my
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confidence and causing meto pick up my motions.
After I travel up anddown his rigid cock acouple more times, I canfeel his breathing getragged as he buries hisface in my neck, nibblinglightly at the skin there. Istill wasn’t sure if I wasmaking him feel good, so I
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said so. “Is this…am Idoing it right?”
He lifts his head, hisbrown locks falling into hiseyes, which now assessedme with raw hunger. “Thisis the best fucking thingI’ve ever felt in my life,and all you’re doing isjacking me off. Yes, you’redoing it right. You’re
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doing it the best way it'sever been done.”
I give him a small smileeven though, inside, I’mbeaming with pride. Ibegin my motions again,picking up the pace whenhe growls at me to gofaster. Before I know it,he’s making the sexiestnoises, that also happen to
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be waking up myexhausted libido. He’s adrug, Owen, one I don’tthink I’ll ever be able to getout of my system.
“Minka, Jesus…..I’mgoing to come.” He lets outa low, husky sound as hepumps his hips to meet myhand when it moves downto the base of him.
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I try to keep the samefast pace, holding mybreath in my anxiousnessto please him. His eyeslock onto mine in ascorching stare, and I feelmy cheeks color. I can’tlook at him while I do this.I cast my eyes down andconcentrate.
“Look at me. I want
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your eyes.” He grasps mychin and drags it up so thatmy eyes are inches fromhis, both of us locked ontothe other. At the sametime, I feel his breathstutter on my lips, his hipsjutting wildly.
“Yeah…..fuck, Minka.”He’s coming, and I feel hiswetness spread over my
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fist as he slows hispumping hips, his eyesstill on mine but nowglazed over in hissatisfaction.
We lay like that, hislegs tangled with mine, myhand down his pantscovered in his come, ourfaces floating merecentimeters away from
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each other, for a very longtime. He’s breathing me inas he recovers, and mymind is going a mile aminute. What does thismean? Why can’t I stayaway from him? Why am Istill so turned on? Can weplease do it again?
Owen chuckles andpresses his forehead
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against mine.“Why...why are you
laughing?” Fears grips meright in the gut for a fewseconds. Until he respondswith the cockiest answerI’ve ever heard.
“I need to bring youcheesesteaks more often.Like everyday. Putting it inmy calendar now.”
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13
OWEN
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July moves in faster thanexpected, and with it,
responsibilities. June knewI was having too muchfun, and spending toomuch time with a certainbeautiful girl, so it decidedto end.
Clinics start back upthis month, which meansI’ll be on the road at least
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two long weekends out ofthe next four. Meaning lessMinka time. Me, and mydick, are already mourningthe loss.
Since the night Ibrought her dinner,something has shifted. Shewas now almost all that Ithought about, the onlyperson I ever wanted to be
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with. I’d spent nine and ahalf of the last 12 dayswith her, and I wasnowhere near bored ortired of hanging out. It wasa new sensation for me,one I’m not particularlysure I like since it leads tothis horrible “missing-a-limb” feeling wheneverI’m not near her.
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We’ve texted while I’vebeen gone for the pastthree days, and I’mpraising the heavens that Iget to see her tonight. Ascorny as it sounds, I can’twait to have her back inmy arms. I shoot her a text,something I’ve been doingall hours of the day since Ileft for summer training at
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my college, GroverUniversity.
Owen: Certain parts ofmy anatomy can’t wait to getreacquainted with certainparts of your anatomytonight ;)
When Minka doesn’trespond for a minute ortwo, I get desperate. Thisgirl, she makes me act like
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a dog in heat.Owen: And by that I
mean my heart with yourheart :)
Minka: Don’t try to saveass now. You meant yourpenis, douche.
Mmm, there is my girl.Owen: Oh yeah, that too.
And babe, it’s a dick. Or acock. Or even a boner. The
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word penis makes me think ofthis creepy old pediatrician Iused to see….
Minka: While I’d love tokeep discussing your freudianissues, some of us don’t thinkabout your “dick” nearly asmuch as you do.
Owen: Noted, she likesme for my superior intellectand not my smoking hot
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body. I guess that means shedoesn’t want me to bury myface between her thighstonight.
And I’m hard as a rock.We haven’t fucked yet. Ormade love, or whateverstupid words girls wantedto use.
I might be a jock, but itdidn’t mean I was stupid
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enough not to noticeMinka was definitely avirgin. We’d rounded all ofthe other bases, and thatwas just fine with me rightnow.
But, trust me when Itell you, sliding into thirdwith her was better thanany sex I’d ever had. Thesounds she made as I
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lapped up her sweet juices,the blush that seemed tocreep all the way down herbody as she got close toexploding on my tongue.Damn. I could do that forthe rest of my life. No sexrequired.
Minka: You’re so vulgar,Axel.
She had no idea. I
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could feel her blushingthrough the phone. Jesus,she’s cute. And sexy, andfunny…and my hard onthrobbed at her use of mylast name.
“Why the fuck are yousmiling like that?”
I look up just fastenough to dodge thebatting helmet that Miles
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has thrown in mydirection. Clint Bellowsand Parker Avery jogdown the dugout stepsafter him, hauling theirsweaty asses onto thebench.
“You lazy fuck.Pitchers always get thelong end of the stick. Youdon’t even have to run
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wind sprints.” Averygrumbled at me.
Dude was always in apissy mood. But he was agreat fucking outfielder.We put up with hisattitude, usually ending upforce feeding him alcoholto tolerate him. Parker waslike the Hulk, but reverse.Get him drunk and he was
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the nicest guy on theplanet. And also one of thebest wingmen. He couldsnag any guy, no mattertheir looks, a 10 on the hot-girl scale. Not that Ineeded his servicesanymore.
“That’s right sunshine.I just stand up there andlook pretty. Oh...and don’t
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forget, win you nationalchampionships.” I pat hischeek.
“Bro, gross. Why’reyou sporting a semi?”Clint chokes on theGatorade he’d justswigged.
“The real question is,why are you looking at mydick?” I wink at him and
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readjusted myself. Damnbaseball pants, you can’thide anything in these badboys.
“He’s probablydaydreaming about thehigh school hottie he’sbeen smashing. Chicks gotlegs for days,” Mileswhistles.
I zip a batting glove at
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his face, effectivelyslapping him between hiseye and his cheek. “I toldyou not to talk about mygirl like that, Farris.”
“Woah-ho-ho, his girl,fellas. Did you hear that?Axel’s got himself a balland chain. Not to mentionan 18-year-old one.” Milesdances around the dugout,
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mocking me.“No way man, you
have a girlfriend?” Clintasks in disbelief.
“Not exactly, dickwads.But if you must know,yeah, I’m spending a lot oftime with her.”
“Why does this soundlike a goddamn romancenovel?” Avery quips.
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“She’s not like thesegroupie chicks youdouchebags bring home.She’s smart, and seriouslyfunny. And she could kickany of your scrawny asses.And yeah, she’s got someserious legs,” I give Miles ashit-eating grin.
“Yeah whatever man, Iguess thats great. I’m
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happy for you.” Parkerstares out into the fieldstoically. I can never figureout what’s going on in thatguy’s head.
“Alright, weirdo. Idon’t know why you guysso are worried about mybusiness, you all had yourasses handed to you inbatting practice. I can hit
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better than that, and I’mnot even required to.”Being a pitcher means I getspecial perks, dependingon how you look at it. No,I didn’t have to conditionas hard, or work onslugging one outta thepark, but all of thepressure rested on myshoulders. My
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performance determinedwhether we won or lostgames.
“Dude it’s July. Ourfirst scrimmage isn’t untilthe last week ofSeptember. I’ll get back toover three hundred in notime,” Miles stands up,juggling a bat between hishands.
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Farris is our best hitter;he’s so close to breakingthe school record for homeruns averaged and he’sonly a sophomore.
“Well, just make sureyou take us to finals nextyear and no one will becomplaining,” Clint adds,strapping the mass ofcatcher's equipment to his
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body. Clint is my catcher,and while he can definitelybe accused of skipping hisschoolwork, baseball is hisfield of study. I swear theguy can read my mind andkeep a hawk-eye on thefield like no one I’ve everseen.
“This is a team sport,idiot. Which means
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everyone has to playtogether to win. Anythingless has your ass on thebench in May.” Avery allbut growls.
I know he’s still pissedabout our regionalchampionship loss, whichtook us out of contentionfor the World Series inJune. Last year’s seniors
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seemed to be more into thehazing and drinkingaspects of being a collegeathlete, while all four of uswanted one thing. ACollege World Series ring.And maybe an MLBcontract on the side.
“This year is our year,gentleman. We will getthere,” I promise, feeling
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confidence swell in mychest. This year would bedifferent, I could feel it.
“Damn right we will.Now hurry up and let’s gothrough this pitching drill.I got places to be,” Clintheads up the dugout stepsand out onto home plate.
I slide my glove ontomy head, relishing the
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familiar feel of the oldleather conforming aroundit.
“Yeah we got places tobe, people to bang.” Milesstarts thrusting his hipsinto an invisible girl.
“Don’t let yourgirlfriend hear that,” I givehim a stern look. WhileOlivia wasn’t high on my
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list of favorite people, oranywhere on it for thatmatter, I didn’t approve ofcheating. It was the lowestmove you could pull.
“Yeah well, she’d haveto be around to actuallyhear. Or care.” Milessobers as he says this lastpart.
“Dude, I’m sorry, if
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you wanna talk—” I startbefore Miles cut me off,shuttering his eyes andputting the joker maskback on.
“Don’t get all weepy onme bro! Hurry your ass upso I can get to a kickassparty, and you can drivehome to your high schoolhottie.” He runs out for a
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casual toss with Averywhile I work with Clint onmy knuckleball.
Someday, he’d have toopen up to me. I justhoped it wasn’t too late.
“CARO! I didn’t knowyou’d be home so soon!” Ihear my mother screech.
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Crap. I had been trying togo undetected, but thatwoman had ears like a bat.And it didn’t help that thegaudy all-marble staircasescreeched like the cementof a parking garageanytime you stepped footon it.
If I keep walking now,she will only keep
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screaming my nickname,caro, or my dear inPortuguese, up the stairs.So, head hanging, I trudgeinto the library where she’sperched with a magazinein one hand, green juice inthe other. My mom mayhave retired from themodeling world years ago,but it didn’t mean she
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wasn’t constantly dietingand staying up to datewith her fashion.
“Yeah, I’m justdropping my stuff andgrabbing a quick showerbefore I head out,” I startto inch my way out of theroom. I’m wastingprecious time, time that Icould be using to taste
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every inch of Minka’s skin.It had been three days, andmy need for her had mestrung so tight, I canactually feel the kinks inmy back at not being ableto hold her.
“Excuse me!” She looksup from her magazine andpoints to her cheek. “Idon’t see you all summer,
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and you can’t even giveyour poor, lonely mama akiss when you get home.”
I bend to kiss hercheek, smelling hersignature sandalwoodperfume. The entire housesmells of it. The scentembodies my mother,sophisticated andbeautiful, with an
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underlying hint ofwildness and freedom.While she isn’t the mostconventional mother, sheloves me with a fiercenessthat I thank God for. Whoknows how I would haveturned out if only myfather had been around.
“Raq, have you seenmy blue striped…Owen, I
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didn’t realize you werehome from clinics. Sit, tellme how it went.” Speak ofSatan himself. My dad wasruthless in his pursuit ofgetting me signed to aprofessional team.Criticizing any part of mygame was a regularoccurrence for him.
“I actually really don’t
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have time, I have to besomewhere…” I shufflemy feet, trying to escapethis situation as fast as Ican.
“You don’t have timefor this? What couldpossibly be moreimportant than your entirefuture? You really are lazy,kid, you know that?” His
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voice raises three octavesby the second, and a flushstarts to creep onto hischeeks. I want to punchthe living shit out of him.
My entire life, I hadbeen told by this man, whowas supposed toencourage and supportme, that I was a lazy, nogood sack of shit. Maybe
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not in those words, but helaid it on thick.
No, he hadn’t everreached the level ofphysically abusive parent,but when you’re told yourentire life that you’re notgood enough, it starts tosink in. I don’t think myfather had ever given meone high five, one “way to
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go, pal.”I can feel my blood
pressure rising as I ball myhands into fists, physicallyrestraining myself fromacting on my earlierimpulse to strike him.
“Are you done withpretending you give a shithow my clinic went, or didyou need to berate me for
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another fucking hour?Sorry we can’t all be you,Carl,” I practically shout inhis face. I need to get ittogether. Focus on gettingto Minka.
“You ungratefullittle…” My father starts.
“Enough. Silêncio!”Mama shouts, her headswiveling between both of
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us. “Carl, enough of this,please. He works so hard,let him be young. He hastime for all of that, hisfuture, if the majors iswhat he wants.” Shesoothes my father in herlilted Portugeuse accent.
“And you…” shepoints her finger at me, “Ifyou ever curse under my
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roof again I’ll wash yourmouth out with soap. Iraised you better. Don’t beso quick to yell at yourfather either, he onlywants the best for you.”
I love her, but she justdoesn’t understandsometimes. “He sure has agreat way of showing it.” Iseethe as I walk from the
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room. Fuck the shower, Ineed Minka. No matterwhat I look or smell like.Breezing through the frontdoor, I try to lift my moodas I head for her.
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14
MINKA
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I’d started to get cageywhen he was 15 minutes
late. By the time half anhour rolls around, I’mdownright paranoid,chewing on my ring fingerlike it won’t bleed if I bitemy cuticle for thethousandth time.
30 minutes. That’s howlong I’d been waiting for
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Owen. No call, no text. Hewas standing me up and Iknew it. I’m so dumb. I’dlet this happen again.
I stare at the clock.7:31….okay, make that 7:32p.m. Fuck this. I should goscrub my makeup off andpull my ratty oldsweatpants on. Mint chipice cream was just as good
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as Owen Axel. Thatignorant jock.
Just as I’m sweepingmy long hair, which I’dactually taken the time tocurl into long loosetendrils, up into a ponytail,a soft knock comes on thefront door.
It can’t be him. Whowould show up this late
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into what was supposed tobe a date? Moving towardsthe door, I peer throughthe peephole. Herculeshimself stands on the otherside, looking mussed up,but I can’t make out hisoutfit in the shadows ofthe front porch. But asusual, he looks lickable nomatter what clothes adorn
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his body.Okay, so maybe Owen
Axel shows up 30 minutes,no make that 32 minutes,late. Jeez, he was going tohave some stupid excuse. Ishouldn’t even open thedoor, he was just going totry and manipulate meinto…
“Minka open up, I
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know you’re there…I’msorry,” he sighs, running ahand through his goldenbrown locks, causing themuscles in his biceps toflex. My heart gives asqueeze in my chest. God,he looks incredible.
I have to open the door,or I really would qualify assome immature high
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school girl. Edgingtowards the knob, I slowlyturn it, feeling the anxioustingles in my stomachspreading through mybody. I don’t want to beexcited that my very hot,very late, crush is on theother side of this door, butI can’t help it.
I have a witty jab ready
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on my tongue, but it dieson my lips the minuteOwen steps into the lightpouring onto the porchfrom the foyer. He looksexhausted. He still has hisbaseball uniform on,swoon, which have hand-print sized orange dirtstains running down histhighs.
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I’d never been jealousof dirt stains before, so thiswas a new one. His hairstuck up haphazardly, andmy fingers were suddenlyitching to run through it, tomassage his scalp. Dowhatever I could to wipethat defeated look from hisface..
But its more than that.
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He looks haunted. It scaresme. Not because I didn’tknow how to deal with it,but because the look hewore, with his eyes drawntogether and his mouthbracketed by lines ofsadness…it was the look Isaw on my father’s faceeach and every day.
“Hey,” he breathes at
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the same time I ask, “Areyou ok?”
His lip curl up at ourrailroading of each other,but the smile doesn’t meethis eyes. I suddenly wouldsacrifice anything toplaster that charming grinhe usually wore back ontohis lips.
He moves toward me,
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not uttering a word, andswoops me up so that myfeet leave the floor whilehe embraces me. Talkabout sweeping a girl offher feet, literally.
His hands go aroundmy waist as he eliminatesany space that hadremained between us. Myarms go to his strong
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shoulders, and he burieshis face into my neck. Irealize that I didn’t knowhow not okay I’d been forthe last couple of dayswithout him. Not until hepicked me up in his arms.
He keeps me there,suspended, for a fewminutes, each of us justfeeling the other under our
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fingertips.And I slowly began to
acknowledge that I’mgetting in way deeper thanI had bargained for. Andthat I am too weak to stopit.
“Come with mesomewhere?” he mumblesinto my neck, pulling awayto look into my eyes.
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“Sure,” I mutter,mesmerized by his theflecks of turquoise in hisbaby blues.
We walk hand-in-handout to his truck and climbin. After he’d reverses outof my driveway, he takesmy palm, lacing myfingers through his ownrough, calloused digits. He
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doesn’t let go the entiredrive, as if I was somethread that would slipaway if he didn’t hold onfor dear life.
Owen maneuvers thecar through Mitchum’sbusy Main Street, which iscoming to life on thebeautiful Sunday night inJuly. People line the
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sidewalks, speciality lattesin hand, checking outmenus displayed in frontof the chic restaurantsabundant on this stretch oftown. I had neverobserved the main dragmuch, I tended to shyaway from it. Seeing itnow, from the passengerseat of the town
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superstar’s truck, I couldalmost understand thatneed to be seen.
My body jostles asOwen makes a sharp right,veering away from thehob-knobbers in the townsquare. I fall into his bigbody with an “oomph,”and he looks down to giveme the most genuine,
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despite it being small,smile he’s thrown my wayall evening. I lean up andkiss his cheek, trying tosoothe whatever he waswarring with insidehimself. I really hadmissed him the past coupleof days.
Since he’d broughtdinner over, and also
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supplied some dessert,there had been a shift inour interactions. No, Iwasn’t calling this arelationship. Yet. If I evenwanted that.
But, something hadchanged. We texted andtalked the entire time he’dbeen away at his clinic,something I definitely
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wasn’t used to, not evenwith Gregory. A boy hadnever taken a genuineinterest in things I liked orhad to say. With Owen, itwas just different. He wasdifferent. So damndifferent than I’d evergiven him credit for.
And of course I can’tget enough of him. Besides
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his obvious attractiveness,yes, he was insanely,panty-meltingly hot, hewas smart. Really smart.He could debate me on anumber of topics, and wasversed in numeroussubjects, whether it waspolitics or pop music. Inever got tired ofconversation with him.
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And for someone who isan admitted introvert,that’s a big feat.
Owen drives us slowlyaround a bend in the road,and I suddenly knowwhere we are headed.Giving an exasperatedsigh, and not caring what’sgoing on with him for themoment, I voice my
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objections.“Seriously? You take
the girl who hates highschool, during themandatory school day andbeyond, to the highschool? You would thinkthis was a sick date spot,bro.” I huff, yanking myhand back from his.
And this is why,
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besides being so damndifferent this past month,he was the same. The sameas all of those people whohad stripped me of mypride, my self-worth, andleft me as this shell of aperson. A person whowould never, ever so easilytrust anyone again.
I stare out the window,
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calculating the distancebetween the football fieldand my house, seeing if itsplausible to run for it oncehe stops the car. I wasn’tputting myself in anothersituation like I had twoyears ago. I’m smartenough to cut and run thistime.
As we near the familiar
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building with its all glassfront, I actually start tosweat. I need to put myhead between my kneesfor the fear of throwing up,but I have enough dignityleft in me to not blowchunks all over RichieRiches’ leather seats.
But then he speaks, forthe first time since we’ve
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been in the car. “Trust me,okay? I would never takeyou anywhere that youdidn’t feel comfortable.”
I look over to find hispenetrating gaze on me, aslight smile playing on hisdeliciously full lips. Can Itrust him? I would neveradmit this to him, or anybreathing soul on this
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planet, but I did. Whichequally intrigued andscared the shit out of me. Ijust hoped he wasn’tleading me down a path ofhumiliation, because atthis point, I was too fargone to turn back now.
“Ok,” I breathe. Henods at me and scoops myhand back into his.
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Owen brings the car toa slow stop and maneuversinto a parking spot on theoutermost row of the lotfacing the woodedperimeter of the school.
Turning the ignitionoff, he reaches down andunfastens his seatbealt.“Ready?” He brings histhumb up to graze my
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cheek in a sweepingmotion. I can feel the touchall the way into my core,where a slow burn hasstarted from just thatgentle swipe. I have tostifle a moan, my body sowound up from not seeinghim in days.
“Yes,” I sigh, movinginto his hand that is now
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firmly holding my chin.We climb out of the
truck, and Owen rounds itto help me out. Grabbing abag from the bed of thepickup, he wraps an armaround my shoulder andstarts leading me towardsthe woods. I stare up athim curiously, raising oneeyebrow.
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“You’re awfully cutewhen you do that, youknow?” he winks, my firstindication that the Owen Iknow is on his way back towherever he’ddisappeared to.
“Well, it’s not everydaya guy lures me into a darkwooded area. You don’thave a knife in that bag
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right, or a noose?” I joke,pretending to peer aroundat his backpack.
“Just keep walking,smartass,” Owen pinchesmy nose with the handwrapped around myshoulder.
When we walk aboutfifty feet into the woods, Ispy something ahead that
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looks like a clearing. As wemove closer, my eyes catchon a sign hung on one ofthe big pine trees.“Welcome to theStoneShack,” it reads. Butabove Stone, someone haswritten the word “bone” inred Sharpie. Classy.
Looking up, I see apretty elaborate treehouse
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high up into the pine. Howhad I never known aboutthis place?
“What is this place?” Ilook over at Owen, whowas smirking.
“Some seniors built itwhen I was a freshman,snuck out here to getstoned during schoolhours. And apparently,
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engage in some otherdebauchery as well…” hesnickers.
“Um...news flash, Idon’t smoke. And if youreally think you’re gettingme naked in some seedyhook up spot, you clearlyhaven’t gotten to know meat all.” I start to feel cageyagain. What the hell were
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we doing here?“Relax, goody-two-
shoes. You’ll see why Ibrought you when we getup there. Now up you go,”Owen gives my butt agentle smack, heat firmlyreplacing the sadness thathad resided in his eyes justminutes ago.
Ok, so if he tried to get
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me naked up there Iwouldn’t exactly resist…
Nearing the tree, I putmy foot on the firstmakeshift rung, essentiallya slab of metal that hadbeen driven into the tree. Itwould be a long climb, thetreehouse looked to bealmost 20 feet off theground. I grab the rung
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above my head and pullmyself up, careful to goslow in the pitch black thathad now set in around us.
“That’s it baby, takeyour time, go slow….”Owen taunts from belowme. So he wanted to playthat game, huh? I wasn’tthe only one who could gethot and bothered from
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innuendo.“Oh yeah, baby? Just
try to keep up with me, Iwant us to get there at thesame time,” I peer undermy outstretched arm. Ican’t see him well like this,the moon obscured by somany branches, but fromhis intake of breathe Iknow I’d accomplished my
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mission.I make it to the top,
despite a few missteps andshaky hands, and pullmyself up through the holein the boards comprisingthe floor of the treehouse.Owen follows shortly after,pulling the backpack offonce he stands up andspills it’s contents onto the
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floor.“Ok so we have….a
blanket,” he winks as a hespreads it out on the dirtywooden floor, “Juiceboxes, every kid’s picnicfavorite…..and….” Owenroots around in the bottomof the bag, finally pullingthe item he was looking forfree, “Swedish Fish!”
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He smiles, taking a bowand then plopping downon the blanket, ripping thestraw off one of the juiceboxes and taking a largegulp.
I blink, stunned at thisweird, yet adorably cuteturn of events. And then atrickle of doubt nigglesunder my skin. Is this his
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play? This is how he gets meto completely fall?
“So, this is where youtake all the girls, right?” Isay, trying to keep myvoice void of any emotion.
Owen snaps his head tome, his expressionunreadable from where Istand in the moonlight.
“Actually no, I have
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never taken any other girl,let alone person, up herewith me. Jeez, you mustreally think that little ofme.” he shakes his head,staring out over the trees.
Instant guilt floods mysystem. I had to stop doingthis. I had to stop secondguessing my gut. I had tostop letting the events of
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my past rule my present. Isit down on the blanketnext to him and fold mylegs indian-style.
“I’m sorry. I just…..it’snot easy for me to trust.Especially someone likeyou.” I play with thefrayed edges of theblanket.
“Someone like me?
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We’re back to this again?I’m just me, Minka.” Owenedges his fingers close tomine, not quite holding myhand, but just laying hisfingers there. “Who madeyou like this?”
His question is almost awhisper, almost as if hedidn’t even want to ask it.Did he really not know?
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Maybe he hadn’t realizedthat the girl who washumiliated was me. Was Iready to tell him?
Looking at him in thesilent, dark night, hisfingers drawing circles intomy palm, I realized Iwasn’t. I couldn’t revealwhat had happened, notyet. I couldn’t stand to
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think of the day he lookedupon me with pity, ormaybe even evil humor inhis eyes. It was a mixbetween the two, the looksthat my classmates gaveme. I wasn’t ready to givethis up. I wanted Owen tosee me as he saw me rightnow, for as long as I couldhang on to it.
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“It’s….in the past. I’msorry for snapping.” I needto change the subject, andfast. “What was wrongearlier?”
Owen lays back on theblanket. “Join me?” Hemotions for me to lay backwith him, so I do. “This iswhat I come up here for.”
Following the direction
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Owen’s muscled tricep ispointing, I stare straightup. “Oh my…..”
Overhead the tree’sformed a canopy, with anopening directly abovewhere we laid in thetreehouse. “I’ve never….”
“Seen the stars soclearly? I know. It's likeyou’re sitting in the clouds.
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It’s addicting, this view.”He reaches out to find myhand on the blanket whereit lays in between ourbodies.
I’m star struck, literally.I can’t even seem to form asentence. It feels like thesky is inches from my face,like if I was to reach out, Imight be able to hold one
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of those burning balls oflight. Butterflies explode inmy stomach as I realize,Owen had brought me outhere. Obviously this spotwas special to him, andhe’d shared it. With me.
We laid there holdingonto each other in apeaceful silence, untilOwen spoke up.
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“I have felt like afailure just about everyday of my life.”
If he didn’t sound sogoddamn sad just then, Iwould have thought hewas joking.
“You probably thinkI’m just over-exaggerating.‘How could a rich, popularjock like you ever feel like
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that?’” He laughs cruellyat himself.
I stay silent, willinghim to go on.
“My father…...he’s thisbaseball legend. Set tons ofrecords, played for thebest, most notorious teamin the world. He’s in theHall of Fame, he has gotteneverything he ever
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wanted. Except for me thatis….the son who cannever, ever do anythingright.”
I squeeze his hand,feeling the pain radiate offof him. I want to take himinto my arms, but cansense his need to get thisout.
“All my life, the man I
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was supposed to look upto, who was supposed tolove me more thananything, he treated melike shit. Do you know thatif someone tells you overand over again just hownot good enough you are,you start to believe it?Well, that’s what he did.Nothing is ever good
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enough. I pitched threeperfect games in highschool…..in high school!Do you know how hardthat is?! Do you knowwhat he said to me aftermy last one? I came off thefield, looking, finally, forsome words ofencouragement. He toldme that my last four
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pitches of the gameregistered under 90 milesper hour, and that I neededto work on that on theunlikely chance my sorryass was ever going to makeit to the majors.”
I move across theblanket and prop myselfup on one shoulder. Withmy fingers, I begin to run
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lazy circles up and downhis arm, trying to comforthim.
I can’t believe what hewas telling me. Him, notfeel worthy? He hadeverything. It had neveroccurred to me that wewere more alike than I’dever imagined.
“I try so hard, you
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know? I try to get goodgrades, stay a part of the‘in-crowd’, and most of all,I try really fucking hard tobe the best damn pitcheranyone has ever seen. AndI don’t just try. I grindmyself into the pavementday in and day out tomake those thingshappen.” Owen pauses,
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shaking his head as if he’strying to work out someidea stuck in there. “Helaid into me again tonightwhen I got home. Calledme lazy. I just want todrop him sometimes, justlay his ass out. SometimesI wonder if it wouldn’t bebetter if I just disappearedaltogether…”
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This last statementshocked me. I didn’t knowOwen well enough toknow if that was serious,but I knew how it felt tothink everything would bebetter if you were gone. I’dstruggled with thosethoughts. I didn’t want tocall them suicidal, becauseI personally know I would
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never take my own life,but I knew what it was liketo struggle with them.
“Fuck him,” I spit. Thesudden thought of thishandsome, gifted mandoubting himself soseverely pisses me off.“Fuck him, Owen. If that’show he wants to treat hisson, who is so incredibly
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talented, smart, funny andso many other things, thenfuck him. You don’t owehim shit. You have workedhard for everything youhave.”
He sits up then, amixture of awe andsadness in his perfect blueeyes. He lunges for me,scooping me up into his
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lap and engulfing me withhis big body.
“But what if, when I getto the top, all they see meas is Carl Axel’s son?” hewhispers into my neck.
I run my hands up anddown his back over hisshirt, wishing I could rubout the lingering doubtand fear inside him. “It’s
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your choice, and yourchoice only, how they seeyou. Don’t resort to livingin his shadow.”
“You’re the mostamazing person I’ve everknown.” Owen brings hishands up to my face then,circling it and lookingdeep into my eyes. Myheart starts to spasm. I
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know in this moment, I amin trouble.
Because if I wasn’t indanger of being lead downthe path, I was now. Myheart wasn’t in danger ofgiving itself to him,because it had alreadygiven itself up to him.
Moving his lipstowards mine, he kisses
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me sweetly, reverently.Owen steals my breath,kissing me so tenderly thatI forget to take air in.
Stopping the kiss, herests his forehead againstmine. “I want to take yousomewhere next weekend.Will you come with me?”
“Where?” I can barelythink to try and register a
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sentence.“The Outer
Banks….my parents have ahouse there. I want to haveyou all to myself before Ileave for summer league intwo weeks.”
I couldn’t have said noif I tried. No matter howmany warning bells weregoing off in my head. He’d
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just opened up, way up,and I found myselfwanting to spill mydeepest secrets and fears tohim as well.
“Of course I’ll go.”
OWEN DROPS me back offpast midnight. We mighthave gotten carried away
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and lost track of time afterI’d agreed to take a tripwith him. I couldn’t seemto keep my head onstraight whenever that boygot within 20 feet of mybody.
Walking into the house,I freeze when I hear a thudcome from the kitchen. Istop, my heart suddenly in
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my throat, afraid it mightbe more than a bump inthe night. I hastily grab anumbrella from beside thedoor, holding it over myshoulder like a baseballbat, ready to strike.
Creeping around thecorner, I yelp like a madwoman when my dadappears through the
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archway to the kitchen.“Jesus, dad, you scared
the crap out of me.” I dropthe umbrella with a thudand place my hand overmy chest to calm myrapidly beating heart.Little good that wouldhave done to stop apotential intruder.
“Where the hell have
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you been? When I’m atwork, not to mention whenit’s the middle of the night,I expect you to be athome.” he launches into amonotone tirade. I can feelthe blood in my face startto rise, prickling along myskin. “I trust you to beresponsible, Minka. Youhave demonstrated you
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are anything but that.”I can’t even find it
within myself to befurious. Was this a fuckingjoke? “Sorry I didn’t getthe carrier pigeon you sentover alerting me to the factthis was the one nightyou’d be home for themonth. I’ll make sure to jotthat on my calendar next
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time.”I start walking towards
my room, the elation I’dfelt from my night withOwen quickly fading dueto my father’s presence.
“Answer me, younglady. Who dropped youoff? You know yourcurfew is 11 p.m., meaningyou’re two hours late. One
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o'clock in the morning isnot acceptable, Minka.”
I was done. Not onlyhad he ruined my night,but now he was trying tobe some sort of fakeparent? Give me a break.
“Not acceptable? Let’shave a reality check here,shall we, dad? I have beencaring for myself nearly
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my entire life; cooking myown meals, making sure Igot to school, checking myown homework, andtucking myself in. I don’tdo drugs, I’m not a teenagemother, and I haven’tmarked my body withpiercings or tattoos. I drinkon occasion, but not toexcess, and I never drive
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under the influence. I pulla 4.0 GPA, am enrolled incollege courses and overallam a pretty desirable childto have. A lot of parentswould be beaming withpride to have a daughterlike me. But then again,you’d have to be home tonotice any of that. You’dhave to give two shits
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about your kid and hersafety and happiness tohave any say in how I livemy life. So no, father, Idon’t have to answer yourquestions. I don’t have toanswer to you when youfeel like throwing the slimamount of parentalauthority you havearound, and I don’t have
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to do it any other day ofthe week either. Now, godo what we both knowyou really want, and sleepat the station.”
With that, I slam mydoor in his face. I heave inmouthfuls of air, feeling acataclysmic void rip openin the middle of my chestafter vomiting the
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emotions I’d held downfor so long. My eyes burnwith unshed tears, and mythroat has gone hoarse.
I can’t believe I’vefinally snapped after all ofthese years, hurling thebrutally honest thoughtsI’d always buried deepinside.
Silence resounded from
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the other side of the door,confirming that he had infact packed up and headedoff to the station. Hecouldn’t even be enough ofa parent to punish me fortalking back.
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15
OWEN
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I’d barely seen Minka thisweek, she was so busy
with her summer coursesand I with baseball. Webarely had time for a texthello. The only contactwe’d had was a heavymakeout session in my carone night after I’d stoppedby her house after practice.
I’m headed to Miles’ to
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use his gym for strengthtraining. Mostly because Ican’t stand being in myown house, no matter howstate-of-the-art my fatherkept his gym. We haven’tspoken since I’d stormedout five days ago. I wastaking Minka’s advice.Fuck him.
Just remembering the
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fierce look in her eyes asshe spewed her diatribeabout my shit of a fathermade something inside mychest feel like I’d justfinished a round of windsprints.
She understood memore than anyone I’d evermet, and I’d meant it whenI told her she was the most
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amazing person I knew. Itdidn’t matter that I’d onlyknown about her for alittle under two months.She was stuck in my head.And even though it wasdefinitely too soon, I beganto think she was stuck inmy heart too.
The idea that I couldhave had her long ago if
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I’d gotten my stupid headout of my ass wasn’t loston me. I felt like shit thatI’d been too obsessed withmyself in high school tonotice her. It also wasn’tlost on me that she washiding something. Jesus,she’d started shaking theminute she realized wheremy car was headed. If and
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when she opened up tome, I was finding andkilling whoever had madeher that scared, thatashamed, that she couldn’teven come within 50 feetof a place where kids weresupposed to feel safe.
I pull up to the gates ofFarris’ estate. Yes, I saidestate.
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While my family wasrich, and had enoughmoney so that none of uswould probably ever haveto work again, we were noFarriston. The Farriston’shad more money thanGod.
I plug in the code tocall up to the house,needing Miles to buzz me
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in. I ring once…nothing. Iring a second time.Nothing. The third time Iring, Theresa, their live-inhousekeeper, comes on theintercom.
“Who is it, please?”“Hola Theresa, it’s
Owen. Can you buzz mein?”
“Oh, Senor Owen. Of
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course!”The gate buzzes and
then slowly opens as I easemy truck past the ornatewrought-iron fence.Theresa has been with theFarriston’s for as long as Ihad been friends withMiles. I gathered that shewas more of a parent tohim than either of his
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biological assholes hadever been.
Parking in the porte-cochère, yes, they have afucking valet-style carpark, I walk into the castlethat Miles grew up in. Myhouse is nice, downrightMansion if you asked mostAmericans, but Farrismade my family look like
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we were on welfare.Theresa was nowhere
to be found, and Mileshadn’t even come to thedoor to greet me.
“God, fuck you, youstupid fucking prick! Pickup the goddamn shotgun!”
Well, that can’t befucking good. I make myway towards the
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basement, the fact that Ican hear Miles shoutingfrom my place in themarble foyer notregistering as a good thing.
I descend the basementstairs, peering my headaround the corner as soonas the half wall clears frommy view. Ok, not in here. Ican’t see Miles in the main
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basement room, which wasa cross between a pool halland an upscale bar.
Walking back towardsour usual hangout spot, Ifinally hear him shoutingagain. “Fuckwad, whatdon’t you understandabout covering my back?”
I enter the little hallwaywhich houses two rooms.
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On one side, the kick assgym. Miles has all of thelatest exercise equipment,even though no one in thehouse besides him uses it.His mother’s probablyworking out with thetrainer’s equipment ratherthan this stuff, if you knowwhat I mean.
On the other side of the
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hall, a door stands ajar tothe room I can definitelynow hear shooting noisescoming out of. I push itopen to see Miles sitting inday old sweats on thehumongous sectional.
The media room is lessof a media room and morelike a personal Best Buystore. Any electronic you’d
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ever want to play with canbe found in here. Old-school Pinball and Tetrismachines stand in onecorner, on the same wall asthe most elaborate stereosystem I’d ever laid eyeson. On the other wall, floorto ceiling shelves are filledwith any movie you wouldever want to watch.
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The entire back wall ofthe room was a cinema-style projector screen. Itwas Miles’ favorite thingabout this room, and wascurrently being utilized.
“You’re going onmissions without me? I’mhurt!” I mock cry, feigningdisbelief. Farris startles atthe sound of my voice and
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pauses his war game.“What the hell are you
doing here? Who let youin?” he scowls.
What crawled up hisass and died? “Nice to seeyou too, sunshine. I cameover to lift, remember?” Ipoint at my body, whichsports the appropriateworkout attire.
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“Well I’m not in themood.” Miles turns hisattention back to the game,slinging his headset overhis ears and hitting play.“You can see yourself out.”
What the fuck? “Dude,what is wrong with you?”I shove at his shoulderfrom where I stand behindthe couch.
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Farris ignores me,opting to spray a hellfire ofbullets down on theenemy. Two or three moreminutes pass like this, mestanding there in confusedshock, him playing videogames as if he wascompletely alone.
So what did I do? Ibroke Guy Code 101. I
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pulled the plug out of thewall.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”Miles screams as hewatches the screensuddenly go black. Whenhe whirls around to see mewith chord in hand, heactually chucks thecontroller at my face.
I dodge it, so it strikes
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the wall instead, dentingsome of the plaster.
“Now look what youfucking made me do,asswipe.” he grumbles, thefight seemingly leaving hisbody.
“Bro, are you okay?” Iwalk to where he sits andawkwardly drop to thecouch next to him. Even
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though we have beenfriends almost our entirelives, Farris and I don’ttalk feelings. We neverhad.
“Olivia dumped me.” Isee the tick in his jaw as helooks away from me,clearly trying to hide hisupset.
“Jeez man…uh I’m
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sorry.” I didn’t know whatto say. I wasn’t reallysorry, I was glad he wasrid of that leech. But itdidn’t mean I wanted myfriend to hurt.
“Whatever. Stupidbitch was cheating on mefor months.” I hear hisvoice break. Fuck. I reallydid hate that girl.
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“Fuck her, man. Youdon’t deserve that. Shewasn’t even worth yourtime. Good fuckingriddance.”
I’m not good at thisbrotherly love shit. But itwas high time we tried, tostart supporting each otheremotionally. Miles wassome of the only family I
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had.“Yeah….maybe you’re
right.” he doesn’t soundconvinced. “At least I canscore all the pussy I wantwhen we get back toschool.” he smiles, but itisn’t a genuine Farrissmile. His goofy grinsusually light up his entirefucking face. This one
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wouldn’t even make apuppy wag its tail.
“And what a brightside that is.” I throw himmy best conspiratorialsmile.
“Let’s get started thisweekend. I’ll tell Merry tothrow a Field Party.Guarantee I’ll be balls deepin the back of my truck by
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midnight…”Shit. I really didn’t
want to rain on his paradeeven more with mysuddenly prosperous lovelife.
“I can’t this weekend.”“Why not? We don’t
have any clinics or campsuntil next week.”
“Well….” I really don’t
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want to break it to him thisway, but I didn’t see anyway around it. “I’m takingMinka to my beach housefor the weekend.”
I cringe a little as thewords leave my mouth. Ireally don’t want to lookup and see the look on hisface.
When I meet his eyes,
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he’s scowling.“Really? The minute I
get my ass kicked to thecurb, Mr. PerpetuallyCarefree & Single takes itupon himself to bag a highschool wifey? Fuck you,Axel.” he grumbles, liftinghimself off the couch andwalking to the mini-fridgenext to the Pinball
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machine.He reaches inside and
pulls out a dark-lookingbeer, cracking the can andtaking a long, hard swig.
“Bro, it’s like 10 a.m.” Ieye him cautiously.
“No time like thepresent, dude.”
He finishes the can inthree long chugs and goes
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in for another. I’d seenenough.
“Whatever, dude.When you feel like talkingand not being a dick, callme. I’m always here foryou, even if you want toact like a melodramaticpussy.”
With that, I walk out ofthe room and make my
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way out of the Farristonmansion. Place always feltmore like a prison to me.
FEELING my bi’s and lat’scry out in agony, I go hardthrough my last rep,killing myself to push the250 pounds to fullextension.
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Grunting, I drop theweight bar back into itsplace above my head,thanking God thatworkout is over.
I’d pushed myselfharder than I should have,but after my argumentwith Miles, and with theknowledge I’d be taking afew days off, I needed it. If
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I was going to make themajors, I had to be in thebest shape of my life.Giving my arms someextra muscle was an addedbonus.
It turns out I didn’thave to fear running intodad at our home gym, hewas away at somespeaking engagement for
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the weekend. Hilarious.Whoever paid to see myfather make a motivationalspeech was better offdunking their head in a vatof bullshit.
I grab a towel from thesteam rack mom installeddown here and make myway to the kitchen. Ineeded a protein shake.
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Walking into theupstairs hallway, I alreadyhear the blender going.Smiling, I make my wayinto the kitchen. Momstands at the enormousisland, dropping thingsinto the state-of-the-artblender dad had given heras a birthday present. I willsay, for being such a prick,
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my father sure did have asoft spot for his wife.
“How did you know?”I smile at my mom. Shereally was my savinggrace.
“Ah, you resided insidemy belly, I am all knowingwhen it come to my baby.”she grins.
“Ew, mom, that’s
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totally gross.” I run myhand behind my sweatdrenched neck, suddenlymy appetite waning.
“I’m just joking withyou, caro. But, I am yourmother. And I do knoweverything about you.Which is also how I knowyou have been avoidingcoming home for the last
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month.” She raises aneyebrow, giving me apointed stare. Basically,she’s telling me to spill allmy secrets before she usesher voodoo mother magic.
“Couldn’t we just talkabout something else? Theweather, your next hairappointment?” I send hermy puppy dog look, my
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best attempt to curtail thisdisaster of a conversation.
Instead, she swats meupside the head.
“Spill you little bugger.Or no smoothie for you.And I added extra peanutbutter…” she moves theglasses away from where Isit at the counter.
“Ok, ok!” I was a
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sucker for her chocolatepeanut butter smoothie.“Well, its no secret thatyour husband is adouchebag, so I guessthat’s why.”
“Do not speak aboutyour father like that!” Sheshakes her head, grindingthe contents of the blenderone last time. “He is
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looking out for you. Hejust wants you to do well,caro. But, we’ve spokenabout his behavior. I thinkit might be good for youand him to sit down.”
She pours the thicksmoothie into largeglasses, and my mouthbegins to water.
But, then I felt it.
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Anger. Creeping up intomy pours. She always tookup for him.
“Not happening, mom.I’ve heard, my entire life,about how much of afailure I am. About howmuch I don’t measure up. Idon’t need to sit downwith the bastard to beberated for another 45
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minutes. Tell him he canwrite me a note. Or betteryet, text me. I can deletethat faster.”
“Ay, caro, you only seethe smaller picture.Sometimes we need to stepoutside our own box to putourselves into someoneelse’s shoes.”
My mother, the
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beautiful, elegant, smartwoman that she was…hadnever, ever grasped theAmericanized versions ofcliches.
“Besides, I think he willhave some things to say toyou that might surpriseyou.” She pushes mysmoothie glass across thecounter and takes a tiny,
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bird-like sip of her own.“But let’s get to the realreason you haven’t beenhere. Who is the woman?”
I nearly shoot smoothieout of my nose. I swear toGod, my mother ispsychic. And has voodoopowers.
“Wha…how…how didyou know?” There was no
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point in trying to cover upmy relationship, whateverit was, with Minka. Firstoff, my mom would haveseen right through it. Andsecond, I didn’t want tohide Minka from anythingor anyone in my life. I wasdamn proud that she evenlet me talk to her, let alonedo the other things I had.
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Okay, no thinking aboutMinka’s body in thepresence of my motherwas officially off limits.
“Oh you’re so cute,caro. I told you, I knoweverything. And…Mariaalso called and asked if itwas okay to stock thebeach house with liquor.You didn’t think you were
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going to just call her andnot have it come back tome, right?”
Shit. I hadn’t thoughtabout Maria, the caretakerat our Outer Banks house,saying anything to mymother. Busted.
“Yeah…I should haveknown better. Should haveasked her to lie.” I give her
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my angel smile, and cansee some of the fake scowlmelt off her face. “But,you’re right. There is a girl.And she’s amazing.”
A beat of silence goesby as I tip the glass up tomy face and suck downsome of the delicioussmoothie. Damn, I hopedthere was more in the
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blender.“So, that’s all you’re
going to say….?” Sheblinks at me, waiting formore. Jesus, women aresuch gossips.
“What else do youwant to know, jeez…”
“Oh I don’t know, hername, where she lives,what she likes—”
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“Her birthdate, socialsecurity number, familystatus.” I finish, smilinginto my cup when shetried to swat me upside thehead again. “Okay. Hername is Minka Braxton.She lives here. She’s smart,athletic, beautiful…”
“Ahh, he is his father’sson. You and him, always
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suckers for the beautifulones.” She laughs, staringat the ceiling as if my tastein women is just all toofunny. “You really like thisbeautiful girl?”
“Yeah, I really do.” Ismile. Just thinking aboutMinka and everything Ihave planned for us thisweekend makes my heart
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feel too big in my chest.“I think its great. You
haven’t talked about a girlsince that awful Allison inhigh school. If she makesyou smile all goofy likethis, she must be worthy ofmy perfect boy.” Shetouches my cheek, and Iswear I see her eyesglistening with unshed
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tears.“Okay, calm down
mom. It’s not like I’mgetting down on one kneetomorrow. She isn’t evenmy girlfriend yet.”Although if I had my way,this weekend wouldchange all of that.
“Yes, I know that, caro,but a mother can dream.
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Ever since you’ve left myhouse all empty, all I canimagine is littlegrandbabies filling it backup!” She says dreamily asshe walks to the sink,putting her glass in it.
Okay, girlfriend I couldaccomplish for her.Grandbabies…yeah thatwould have to wait.
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16
MINKA
“
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Ok, so I brought over like,every sexy nighty I
could find in my drawer!”Chloe dumps a sparkly
pink tote all over my bed,and a jungle of silk andlace cover the entirecomforter.
“Chlo, I’m going forlike..two and a halfdays…” I look to Kels for
“
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help, who snorts andshrugs, turning away towrap my jewelry in apouch. Chloe catches mylook, and scowls.
“Oh whatever, youtwo! This is the mostromantic thing that hasever happened to any ofus, I’m allowed to go alittle crazy. Plus, you need
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to look irresistible whenyou finally get back on thathorse.” She winks at me,clearly talking about thesex that was apparently oneveryone’s mind.
Yes, they were helpingme pack for my weekendwith Owen at the beach,but I really needed themhere more for moral
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support. This was theclosest I’d ever gotten tohaving sex since Gregory,and I needed a pep talk.
“What if I freak out?” Ivoice the thought that hasbeen circling my mind fordays. Ever since Owen hadasked me to go on the trip.
“You mean like seizeup in terror and chop his
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dick off?” My eyes flarewide at Kels’ imaginationsituation. I hadn’t evenconsidered the possibilityof physically hurting him!“Calm down, crazy. You’renot going to freak. Andyou definitely won’t chophis dick off. Although, youmay give it the time of it’slife.” She sticks her tongue
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out. What was this, make-sexual-innuendos-at-Minka Day?
“You’re going to befine, boo. Nothing thus farhas given you anyindication you’ll freak out.In fact, you melt in thatboy’s hands like putty if allthe things you have told usare correct. So, I think it’ll
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cum to you just fine,” Chlosnickers as she pats myarm. Then, grabbing ahandful of pink andribbons, “I think these onesare perfect!”
Yeah, no. Pink was mycolor in accessories, maybea handbag or a shoe hereand there. But, I couldn’tcover myself in the stuff
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like Chloe did.Sifting through the pile,
I select a tasteful navynumber and a lacey whitebridal looking number.Hey, I was technically aborn-again virgin, no onehad touched my lady bitsin a long time. It wouldconvey the right message.
“I’ll take these two.” I
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fold them and lay them inmy small tote bag.
“Those are soooooMinka.” Kels rolls hereyes, turning back andstuffing two particularlyteeny bathing suits in thebag.
“Oh, I’m sorry I’m notthe nude beach type.” Idrawl sarcastically.
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“That was only a coupleof times in France. Anddon’t knock it till you tryit,” She points, giving methe stink-eye.
I need to change thesubject. The butterflies inmy stomach thinkingabout sex with Owen aregiving me indigestion.And that’s the last thing I
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need for this car ride withhim.
“Hey, you know who issingle?” I turn to Chloe,knowing the news willexcite her.
“Who?!” My bestfriends chirp at the sametime. We were nothing butshameless gossips, thethree of us. But then again,
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who wasn’t? If you try todeny it, I call your bluff.
“Miles Farriston.” Ismile chummily, folding apair of pajama shorts ontop of the burgeoning pileof clothes in my weekendbag.
“WHAT!? Ooooh,Chloe might have anorgasm on the spot!” Kels
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bumps her hips intoChloe’s slender thigh. Yes,Chloe was tall, but myother soul-sister was tiny.Kels’ petite frame barelycame up to Chloe’sshoulder.
“Wait, really? I thoughthe was dating some hoity-toity college bitch. Or atleast that’s what his
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Facebook said last week.”She blushes.
“Guilty! I see youFacebook stalker.” I stickmy tongue out at her.
“Oh whatever, don’tthink we don’t noticewhen you literally gothrough all of Owen’s picsin one sitting.” Her andKels share a private grin.
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So the boy had a lot ofdreamy pics. I couldn’thelp it.
“Yes, he is veryphotogenic. Sue me. Backto the matter at hand,though. Farris. You gonnamake your move. Finally?”
She shrugs. “Maybe.What has Owen told you?”
Ah, the inside intel
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game. I saw her strategy.“Not much. Just that Farrisisn’t taking the breakupwell, but that his ex was atotal scheming golddigger. Owen hated her.Maybe you can nurse himback to health, if you knowwhat I mean.”
“Look at QueenConservative making a
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sexual suggestion! I likewhat Owen has beendoing to you. He has myvote.” Kels nods seriously.
I pick up a beautifulblush pink maxi dress I’dbought up this week andfold it delicately beforeplacing it in my suitcase.“Well he does have somemagical fingers.” I wink,
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and both girls gasp at mysudden kiss-and-tellattitude. “But that’s all I’llsay!”
“Well, getting back tome, maybe I will go afterMiles. There is still about amonth left to this summer.And it’s been totallyboring so far. I need someaction.” Chloe walks
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across the room on tip toeand plunges into a deepplié when she reaches mydresser.
A knock came from mydoor. Hm, I wasn’texpecting Owen foranother 20 minutes.
The door opens andthere stands dad. My eyeswiden and I stare in
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surprise. Wow, he didn’tusually make anappearance in the middleof the day. Better yet, Idon’t remember the lasttime he had made anappearance. He’d beenavoiding the house like theplague for the last week.Ever since I’d unleashedalmost 18 years of emotion
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on him.And shit. I hadn’t even
told him I was leaving forthe weekend. And now Iwas scrambling in mybrain for some kind ofexcuse…
Which all went out thewindow because my twobest friends, who I wouldhave used in 99 percent of
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excuses, were here.Helping me pack. For mytrip to the beach withOwen. Alone. With Owen.
Double shit.He eyed the open
duffel bag on my bedcuriously.
“Hello girls, how areyou?” He asks politely.
“Great.” Chloe says, a
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hostile tinge to her tone. Ofcourse the girls knew myfeelings about practicallybeing an orphan, and Chlowasn’t the type to leavethe thoughts in her mind.
“Nice to see you,Chief.” Kels, on the otherhand, flirted with my dadmercilessly. I think shepartially did it because my
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dad was “cute” (herwords). Or the fact that itmade him hideouslyuncomfortable.
“Ahh, Minka can wetalk in the kitchen for amoment?”
Here we go. Better bitethe bullet now. Whatever,if he threw a fit I’d just runaway. Not like he would
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notice for a day or two.“Sure.”I throw the girls an eye
roll before following himthrough the house and intothe kitchen.
We stand face to face,leaning against the granitecounter tops. I wasn’tspeaking first. He hadcalled this little family
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meeting, and I wasn’tabout to start this chat off.
“Listen, I…um, I wantto apologize for not beingaround much lately.” He’savoiding my eyes, lookinganywhere around thekitchen but at my face. Atthis current moment, helooked like he wasaddressing the toaster.
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I snort. “Lately? Trylike, the last 18 years.”
“I know, Minka, Ihaven’t been the mostattentive father, but—”
“No, dad. You reallyhaven’t been.” I can feelthe lump starting to formin my throat. Shit, todaywas supposed to be a goodday. I did not want to cry.
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“You know why its sohard for me. Why Ican’t…” he made a wavingmotion between us.
“Yes, I know. Momdied, dad. But guess what?You still had one womanin your life. One womanwho very much wantedyou to be here.” I snap athim, feeling the tears shift
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in the wells of my eyes.Soon they’d be spillingdown my cheeks.
My father stands there,motionless. I think I see hisjaw tick. We never spokeabout her. Never broughther up.
My mother.She’d died almost 18
years ago, while giving
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birth to me. Complicationswith the labor, they’d toldmy father.
Not that he’d told methat. Kelsey’s uncle wasfriendly with my dad, andhe’d spilled the secret afterhours of drinking. Kelshad told me when we were10.
“You had me, dad. The
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little girl who felt ashamedbecause her dad wouldnever come home to spendtime with her. Wonderingwhat she had done to drivehim away. The little girlwho had to hide a pictureof her mother in herbedroom drawer for fearshe would get in trouble.The little girl who only
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ever wanted love andaffection. And instead wasmet with a big, emptyhouse.”
I sniff, trying to suckup the tears that werealready dripping down myface. My voice was hoarseas it left my body. Icouldn’t keep the feelingsin anymore. He’d wasted
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18 years, 18 years, on hisgrief.
I look up and gasp. Myfather, the police chief,stands in front of me withtears in his eyes.
“You just….you look somuch like her.” His voicebarely registers above awhisper. His hand movesalmost of its own accord
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and comes to rest on mycheek. “It hurts to look atyou sometimes.”
He wipes at his eyes,trying to get his emotionsin check.
“I’m so sorry, Minka. Iknow I’ve drowned usboth in my ocean of grief. Ijust…when your motherdied, I went with her. My
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soul was crushed. I didn’tknow how to take care of ababy. And I especiallydidn’t know how to do itwithout the angel that Iloved more than life itself.”
He stops, choking up atreferencing mom. It wassomething he hadn’t saidout loud in years.
“When I brought you
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home from that hospital…this place. It smelled likeher. It had her style, Icould still see her clotheslaid out on the bed. Shewas in every corner of thisplace. Those first few yearswere a special kind of hellfor me. So as soon as I wasable to put you in daycareand get out of this prison, I
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did. Its why I never comehome. I can’t stand to sleepin our bed. The bed Ishared with Grace. It’s justso much easier to bury thepain in my work. And thenyou started to grow up.You have her hair, hereyes, her smile. When youput on that dress for yourfirst spring dance, my
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heart almost damn nearstopped. You were thespitting image of Grace. Ididn’t come home for aweek after that. I couldn’thandle it.”
I know he hadn’t comehome that week. If he had,he would have found mesitting on the bathroomfloor, sobbing
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uncontrollably whilecontemplating if I shouldend it all.
“I’m just so damnsorry, Minks. You meaneverything to me. And I’mso damn proud of you. Iknow how accomplishedyou are. What an amazingyoung woman you havebecome. I know…I know
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I’ve messed up. And youdon’t owe me a thing. But,I want to try. You onlyhave one more year left athome. And I want to proveit to you that you meanmore to me than anythingelse in this life. Can I dothat? Can you let me dothat?
I think I was standing
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in a puddle I was crying sohard. Silent sobs wrack mybody. I give him a slightnod.
I had never hated him.I understood his pain. But,I wanted to get throughour pain together anddevelop our family. Nomatter how small it was.
He moved to envelope
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me in his arms, and Isqueeze him back. Reliefpours through my system.This was the moment I hadbeen waiting years for, andwe were finally going towork on our relationship.Pushing back, I try to cutthe serious moment with ajoke.
“So now would be a
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great time for you to beginyour trustful-dad phaseand let me go on a tripalone with my sort-of manfriend to the beach.”
“Wait, what?” He looksdown sternly as he wipes atear from my cheek.
“Well so….there is thisguy who recently cameinto my life. He’s really
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great…and um, he askedme to take a trip thisweekend with him. Andhe’s picking me up in 20minutes.” I try for my bestinnocent smile.
“And you think I’m justgoing to let this little boytake my daughter away,alone I presume, for threedays?”
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“Yes? Come on dad,this is our first test. Youcan trust me, I promise.Owen is a great guy, andhe will take care of me.”
Just then, the doorbellsings with the arrival ofOwen. Welp, guess it wasas good a time as any tointroduce him to the folks.Or folk. Okay, that joke
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was probably too soon.“And that’s him now!”
I smile, turning to grab hishand and pull him towardthe front door.
I pull the door openand lose my words for aminute. Owen standscasually on our front porchin a loose white buttondown and khaki shorts.
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Both were perfectlytailored to him. I couldmake out the lines andcurves of his musclesthrough the fabric. Hisgolden brown hair wasslicked back the way Iloved it, and he waswearing aviators on hisprominent nose. I think Ihad to pick my jaw up off
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the floor.And then I see his face
as my father crowds intothe doorway behind me. Ican’t help but laugh at hispanicked look as he ripsthe aviators he’s wearingoff his face. Glancing back,I realize my father is still inuniform.
“Dad, this is Owen
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Axel. Owen, my dad.” Imake short introductions.
“He…hello sir. Reallynice to meet you. You havean amazing daughter.”Owen stammers as hesticks out his hand for myfather to shake.
My father grips it, hard.I see Owen go a little pale.I can’t contain my glee.
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“That’s Chief to you.As in Police Chief. Whichis who I am.” My fatherpuffs his chest up. Oh lord.
Owen shoots me adeath glare. Whoops, had Iforgot to mention that?
“I understand youwant to take my daughteraway for the weekend.”
“Uh, yes sir. Only if
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that’s ok, Chief. I canpromise you she will beprotected, safe, and I will,and already do, regard herwith the utmost respect.”
Suck up.“Well, if you leave me
the address of the beachhouse, your license, platenumber and cell phone Ican call, than she is
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allowed to go. But I warnyou, Axel. Any funnybusiness with my little girland I will have every copin the state make sure topay you a visit.”
Owen looks as if hemight pee his pants. God,that little cry fest was soworth seeing this hilarityensue.
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“Yes…yes, Chief.”I chime in. “Well, I’m
going to go get my stuff.We can load up your truckand head out. Love you,daddy!”
And with that, I skipaway to fill Kels and Chloin quickly on the soapopera that was my life.
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17
OWEN
“
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The police chief!? ReallyMinka? The police
chief is your dad! Youcouldn’t have given me afucking heads up. Jesus!”
My little minx gigglesin the passenger seat nextto me. This situation wasanything but funny. Inearly shit my pants whenI saw her cop father walk
“
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up behind her. That guy isseriously going to cut mynuts off if I ever even lookat her the wrong way.Which of course I neverwill.
Speaking of looking ather, I can’t stop. She’spiled all those curls into abun at the top of her head,which makes her look even
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more fucking exotic anddelectable than usual. Sheis wearing this curvehugging white sundressthat I seriously amconsidering ripping off ofher with my teeth.
I’ve had a boner eversince she opened the door.Which was kind ofawkward seeing as how
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her father wanted to put abullet in my balls.
I didn't need to admitto the girl I was crushingon that her father made mequiver in fear. ChiefBraxton was not a smallman. He wasn't even youraverage dad.
When you thought ofsomeone's father, you
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thought middle-aged,sporting a gut, mildlyintimidating, but good-natured fellow. Minka'sdad was a goddamnpitbull.
He was taller than me,probably about six footfive, in better shape thanany cop I'd ever seen, andwas menacing as shit.
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When she'd walkedaway to do god knowswhat, possibly leave me todie, he turned his laserfocus on me.
"Mr. Axel. So yourCarl's son?" hesniffed as he said it,and I already got thefeeling he didn't like
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my father."That's correct,
sir.""Hm. And how is
it that you know mydaughter?"
"We went toschool together sir,but now I go tocollege. I reconnectedwith Minka when I
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got back for thesummer."
It was a lie but itsounded better than,"I finger banged yourdaughter afterstalking her at anunderage kegger."
"What are you inschool for?"
“Teaching, sir.
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Math specifically.And I’m also on abaseball scholarship.”
“Ah, so you coastby in school and hopeto make your millionsjust like your father.Is that right?”
“Respectably, sir,no.” I didn’t need toelaborate. It wouldn’t
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get me anywhere nearhis good book anyway.
“Let me tell yousomething. Mydaughter and I, we areworking on ournewfoundrelationship. But justbecause I’m trustingher to go with you thisweekend, doesn’t
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mean I trust you asfar as I could throwyou. And I couldthrow you, rememberthat boy. Keep yourhands to yourself thisweekend, and keep mydaughter safe andhappy.”
I almost choked,but that would have
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required that mythroat not be dry as abone. This guy wasreally fuckingintimidating. “Yes,sir. I plan to show hera great time.”
He sees Minkaheading back towardsthe front door. Heleans and whispers,
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“And if you hurt herin any way, I will findyou and I will killyou.”
“Sorry, it was just toogood. And I’m gettingused to this wholeprotective, overbearingdad thing.”
Hm, she was actually
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revealing somethingwithout me having to pullit out of her. I decided tokeep on this line ofquestioning.
“Yeah, he mentionedthat you were working onyour relationship. Whatdid he mean by that?”
I reach over the consoleand drag her hand to rest
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on my lap. Just her handon my leg makes meinstantly calmer. And alsobrings my dick to half-mast.
“We are. My dad and I,we haven’t always beenthe best communicatorsover the years. He’s beenpretty absent, but…..well, Iguess I should tell you that
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my mother died givingbirth to me.”
A frown marks herbeautiful, plump lips and Iinstantly regret asking herabout it. “I’m so sorry,babe. I didn’t know…”
I was never very goodwhen it came to death, orcomforting people in grief.I hadn’t experienced it all
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that much.“It’s ok. I’m not bitter
about it. Never have been.Mostly I just get sad that Inever got to know her. Butthat’s why its been so hardfor my dad. He prettymuch fell apart after shewas gone. Threw himselfinto work, slept at thestation most nights. It was
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as if I lost two parents.”I can’t imagine what
that loneliness feels like.Sure, my dad could be anasshole, but my momsupported and loved memore than she did herself.My family was alwaystogether on holidays,birthdays and at least oneweeknight dinner. Looking
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at it from her perspective,my reluctance to sit downand talk with my fatherseemed petty. At least hewas in my life.
“But recently, we had ablowup. Which wasactually positive,” shesnorts. “We aired ourgrievances, and he’s goingto try to make more of an
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effort.”“That’s…great.” I
smile, trying to forget hisdeath threat on me justminutes earlier.
“Oh, you don’t have topretend he doesn’t scarethe shit out of you.” Shesqueezes my leg and mycock shoots from half-mastto wind blown sails.
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“You do that again andhe’s really going to kill mefor what I do to you,” Istare into her eyes, whichflash with heat. At this rateI’ll need to pull the carover and get her in theback. Its been way too longsince I’ve tasted her.
“So what about yourfather? I recommend a
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huge blowup. It reallydoes wonders for thatfatherly bond.” She smiles,but I could tell she wastrying to broach the subjectof my dad.
This was definitely notthe car small talk I wantedto engage in. “Alright, rapgoddess. Can you take alittle rock and roll?
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Minka gives me aknowing glance, butthankfully drops thesubject. This trip hasalready gotten off to arough start, what with thefiring squad I’dencountered at her house. Iwant to relax, see Minkalet her hair down. I don’twant to sour our mood
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with shitty talks abouthow much my dad sucks.
The opening guitarchords of one my favoritesongs blasts out of thespeakers, and I jack thevolume up even more. Ipull my aviators out ofwhere they rest on myshirt collar, slip them onand begin to sing along.
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Badly.I peer over at Minka,
and see her heated gazetaking in my entire form.A spark of lust hits mesquare in the gut. I can’tget us to the beach fastenough.
I begin to belt thewords again, and I lookover to see her laughing
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hard. And damn, she’s asight.
Her curls whips aroundin the wind comingthrough the openwindows. She has her headtilted back, her mouthwide with a smile. Herdelicate hand lays in mylap, and the other clutchesher chest over her heart, as
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if she can’t catch herbreathe from giggling.
A little piece of myheart breaks off and makesits way across the car toher. If this girl keepsshowing me theseunfiltered moments, if shekeeps letting me in, I mightjust fall in love with her.
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THE BEACH HOUSE is one ofmy favorite places onearth. The house itself isimpressive, as was everypiece of real estate myfather purchased. But thisplace was pure, so muchmore toned down than hisusual gaudy castle hebought.
The exterior sported
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those faded gray shinglesyou always saw when youpictured Nantucket, andthe front yard was more amixture of grass andpebbles than sloping greenlawns. I was always gladmy father never tried tomaintain that pristinestandard here, it felt morenatural.
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The house was threestories. The bottom levelfeatured a large garagethat housed bikes, kayaks,paddle boards....basicallyany beach entertainmentitem you wanted, we had.The other side of thebottom level was made upof a huge media room. Oneside was its own private
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movie theater, completewith the comfy blackloungers. The other sideheld a ping pong and pooltable side by side.
A memory slams intome....my father and I....himteaching me to play both.The memory brought awarm sensation into mychest.
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It's why I loved thisplace most of all. Ihad only good memoriesof my father here.
I grab our bags fromthe trunk and escort Minkainside the media room.
"So this is the funzone." I wave my handaround as she stares, nothiding her impressed
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smile."Wow. I see you really
spared no expense, huh?""Oh, quit playing the 'I
loathe rich kids' card.You'll be thanking mewhen you can watch TheNotebook in all itssurround-sound glorylater."
She wrinkles her nose.
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"Ew, really? You take mefor that kind of girl. I'drather kick your ass inpool."
She makes me want tobound across the room andthrow her over myshoulder. The girl’s full ofsurprises, and most ofthem turned me onimmensely. "Duly, noted.
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Spank Minka's ass in pool,I'll add that to the list."
"In your dreams, pal.""Let's go drop these
upstairs."We make our way to
the second level, whichhouses two of the fourbedrooms, and a massivegreat room which doublesas the kitchen and living
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room.The kitchen is state of
the art, all stainless steelappliances and cream-colored counters. Theoverall theme of the houseis beachy chic and neutraltones, beiges and creamsstole over every piece ofdecor. Mama had pickedrustic, antique pieces with
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just enough flare to suither expensive taste.
I move into the livingroom and set our bagsdown with a thud on oneof the gigantic overstuffedcouches.
"So here's thedilemma." I wait for Minkato stop drooling over thekitchen to propose my
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plan. I know I need totread lightly. "There aretwo guest rooms downhere. But my room, andmy parent's master suite,are both on the third floor."
She blinks, clearly notunderstanding where I’mheaded with this.
"There is nothing moreI want than to have you
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share my bed thisweekend. In which case Ican take both of these bagsupstairs. It has the bestview of the beach too, justsaying. If you need extraconvincing." I stop,assessing her face. I can’tread the indiscernibleexpression that swims inher stunning eyes, which
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were now the color ofdeep, dark honey. "But, Iknow you might not becomfortable with that. AndI really want you to becomfortable. So this isabsolutely your choice."
She contemplates me,and I can see the wheelsturning in the back of thatpretty head of hers. I
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silently pray she picks mybed. I want nothing morethan to hold her in myarms all night. And maybethere were some otherespecially dirty fantasies Iwanted to put into actiontoo.
But I would forgo thedirtyness, it would betough but I would, if she
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agreed to sleep in my bed."I think I'd like to stay
in the guest room. Don'thate me..." Minka cringes abit and looks down at hershoes.
I’m across the room intwo seconds flat. I gentlypush my fingers under herchin and tip it up until Ican see her sharp, exotic
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features in full view.“First of all, I could
never hate you. So forgetthat. Second, don't beashamed or embarrassedfor holding true tosomething. You don't feelcomfortable. I would feelterrible if you chose to stayin my bed and didn't fullywant to be there. I am
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thanking my lucky starsthat you even came on thislittle getaway."
Again, a nigglingfeeling at the base of spinealerts me to the fact thatshe has definitely beenburned in the past. I won’tpry it out of her, but I alsohate that she doesn’t feelone hundred percent
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secure in my presence."Let's get you set up in
the room down the hall. Ithas the better bathroom." Igrin at her, trying my bestto erase any fears ordoubts taking up space inher head. "I promise Iwon't even try to sneak inhere in the middle of thenight."
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When she speaks next,her voice is infused with atiny bit more confidence."No one said you couldn'ttry that."
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18
MINKA
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Owen's room really doeshave the best view.
After settling my stuffinto the guest bedroomdownstairs, he'd convincedme to at least come up andsee his rad Owen-cave. Hiswords, not mine.
The room is enormous,it practically takes up halfof the third floor. The half
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that is not occupied by hisparent's suite that is almostas big as my house. WhenI'd walked in and seentheir bathroom, I toldOwen he could lock upwhen he left, I'd be livingin their soaking tub until Idied.
Owen's room matchesthe rest of the house in its
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creamy beige color palette,with accents of nauticaldecor throughout. HisCalifornia King is backedby what looks like a hugepiece of driftwood that hasbeen painted ivory andmade to look distressed.But what it faces is farmore beautiful than theactual bed.
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Directly across theroom are floor to ceilingsliding glass windows thatopen up onto a balcony.The whole thing wrapsaround the entire top levelof the house. I stare in aweas I make my way towardsthem, completely ignoringthe hot slab of man puttinghis clothes away in the
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free-standing armoireacross the room.
Pressed up against theglass, so close I'm probablyslobbering on it, I look outat the most breathtakingbeach view I've ever seen.And that would also beonly the second beachview I've ever seen.
Dad was never big on
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vacations, as noted by hisfrequent absences. Chlo'sfamily had taken me on atrip to Florida with them inmiddle school, but I foundthe beaches in Miami to becrowded. And filled withwomen in bathing suitsthat I'd be embarrassed towalk around in eventoday.
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But this ocean view? Itwas majestic. Owen'shouse sat almost directlyon the beach, save for adune shielding the back ofthe house from the pryingeyes of beach guests. Allyou'd have to do was walkup and over the sand hillto meet the ocean.
"You can go out on the
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deck you know..." Owenchuckles, coming upbehind me. I can feel hisbody heat against my back,and am instantly overcomewith a warm buzz,wanting to feel his handson me. Instead, he reachesaround me, brushing hisarm against my waist inthe process, and clicks
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open the latch, pulling thegiant doors apart.
I wasn't sure I couldmove just then. Tinglesmove up and down myspine from just his contactagainst my skin. My bodyyearns so badly for him tojust move his mouth downand close in on my neck.Like he'd done all those
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weeks ago in my kitchen."Quit thinking about
getting me naked,Braxton." He skims hisfinger down my arm,another repeat from mykitchen, goosebumpstrailing in its wake. Andthen, just as my eyes closeand a sigh forms on mylips, he smacks me square
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on the ass."Ow! You dick!" I scowl
at him as he twists aroundme and runs to the railingof the balcony.
"You only want me formy amazing body, we getit. But come over here andcheck out this view." Heteases, facing awaytowards the ocean.
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I join him at the railingand try to shove my elbowinto his ribs, but he’squicker. He catches myarm and pulls me in frontof him, bracketing mebetween the railing andhis, yes, amazing body. Myheart rate picks up.
"There, that's better." Ifeel him nuzzle my hair
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and then rest his chin onmy head. My heart literallymelts into a pool of wilted-girly feelings. This is why Ican’t stay in his room.
While the fear that he'dbe just like Gregory hadalmost evaporated, Owenhad done absolutelynothing but make me feelsecure, it was replaced by
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a whole new fear. The fearof falling. I was getting tooclose, letting him slip pastmy defenses and everywall I'd put up. I knew thatif I'd agreed to share hisbed, he'd tear them alldown, shoving into thenooks and crannies of myheart. Places I'd never beable to get him out of.
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I liked him too much,and it was only a matter oftime until he left. I neededto keep straight aboutwhat this was, a summerfling. It was fun, sexy, andyes, he was great atromancing me. I had beenseeing the world throughrose-colored glasses eversince he'd stepped into it.
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But the summer wouldeventually end, and Icouldn't expect that Owen,a college sophomore, andsomeone destined forcelebrity and super-stardom, would waitaround for me to graduatehigh school.
That's why I needed tokeep a safe distance, avoid
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getting caught in his orbit.Because if I did, I woulddefinitely get burned.
"What's going on inthat pretty head of yours?"I can feel his breathe soclose to my ear that itsends delicious shiversdown my back. No waywas I spilling all of thefears running through my
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mind."I was thinking about
how beautiful and quiet itis out here. Nothing likeMiami."
I can hear the smile onhis lips. "Oh, yeah? Areyou a Miami connoisseuror something?"
"No, it's just the onlyother beach I've ever been
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to me. My friend Chloe'sfamily took me when I wasthirteen.”
"Seriously? This is onlyyour second trip to thebeach?" I turn my headback and nod as heguffaws in disbelief. "Wellshit, I have to show youwhat a real beach is like.Go slip into something
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sexy and let's go for awalk." His hands squeezemy hips.
"You're a perv."We make our way to
our respective bedrooms,but not without him tryingto follow me into mine andsubsequently getting thedoor slammed in his face.When I’m finally alone, I
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heave my suitcase onto thespacious king bed, andbegin to rifle through it.
Rooting around to tryand feel for the straps ofmy bikinis, my hand hitsthe corner of a box. "Whatthe...." I pull, finally freeingthe item, and groan when Isaw what my hand comesup with.
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Condoms. Those idiotshad put condoms in mybag. Chlo and Kels musthave stashed them at thebottom of my bag when I'dbeen talking to my dad.
Tossing them aside, Istart to pull out my clothesand arrange them in piles.I find my black bikini thatties in a bow at the center
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of my chest, and think itqualifies as somethingsexy.
I tie the pieces of fabricto my body and then pull along sun dress with awatercolor flower print onover my suit. Checking myhair and makeup in themirror, I’m satisfied that Ihaven’t become too
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smudged or wrinkled fromthe car ride.
Just as I finish applyingsome chapstick, Owen'sknock sounds on my door."Come on in."
He opens it as I set thetube back on the dresser,and I have to remindmyself to breathe when Iturn to him.
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White board shortshang low on his narrowedhips, and I can see the v-shaped muscles indentingthe sides of his abs. Hisstomach muscles tenseunder my stare, and hisskin, the color of butteryleather, looks like silkstretched across steel.
A white short-sleeve
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cabana style shirt hangsopen on his frame,unbuttoned. His thickarms are crossed in front ofhis chest, the whitematerial of his sleevesstretched tight across hisbulging biceps.
His college baseball hatmakes his loose, syrup-colored locks fan out to
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frame his face. When Ibring my attention, finallyto his face, his azure eyeshave turned a stormy darkblue, a wolfish grinspreading across his fulllips.
"Are you done? I'd liketo take a walk thiscentury."
I laugh, realizing I have
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been openly gawking athim. "Yes, let me just grabmy sandals."
I bend down to retrievethem by the night stand,and am horrified when Isee what is sitting just infront of my face. Jesus,please just this once, don'tlet me be embarrassed.
"What are those?" Too
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late. Owen has definitelyseen the box of condoms, Ican tell by the curious,smug expression withwhich he asks hisrhetorical question.
"Nothing. I…I didn'tput them in there."
"Sureeee, you didn't."He teases."Let's go, MissPrepared."
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I huff as I follow himout. I was going to killthose two.
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19
OWEN
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Sea foam dots the shore line,tracing an invisible path
that we walk along at alazy pace.
Minka's sandals comeoff the minute we exit myhouse, I tell her to leavethem by the hot tub, shewon’t want them.
Now she digs her toesinto the sand, her
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turquoise painted nailspeeking out every so often.Her curls are loose andwindblown, and the dressshe'd slipped on hugs heramazing curves as theocean air blows through it.I have never seen a morebeautiful thing in my life.It almost hurts to look ather.
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I lace our fingerstogether, smiling warmlyat her when she glances upat me through her lashes.
"So...you neveranswered my question inthe car."
Shit, this again. Ineeded to play this off."What question?"
"I asked you about the
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situation with your dad.Don't play dumb with me,Axel." She already knowsme too well.
"Alright...alright. Mymom asked me to have asit down with him, said Ididn't know the entirestory. I don't know whatI'm going to do yet.” I leandown to pick up a shell,
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running the smoothripples of it through myfinger. “The thing is, beingback here...it brings backso many good memories ofme and him together. Wewould play ping pong, hetaught me how to surf, I'dhelp him grill. There isn'tone bad memory here. Butdoes that replace all of the
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negative shit that has gonein the past couple ofyears?"
Her big brown eyes fillwith understanding. "Itcan't replace it, but it canhelp you find the answeryou're looking for. Ithink...that if you're soconfused, you should sitdown with him. Hear him
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out.""This coming from the
girl who told me to 'fuckwhat he thought,’ the lasttime we had thisconversation?"
"I remember what Isaid, but I was in adifferent place even then.”She stares out onto thewater, as if the answer to
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all of life’s problems can befound there. “Take thisfrom someone who notonly lost a parent, butnever got to know them. Ifyou don't take this chanceto hash it out with him,you will regret it forever.No matter if the talk goeswell, or if it ends terribly,you can walk away
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knowing in your heart thatyou tried."
I motion for her to sit inthe sand with me, and amimpressed when she plopsright down, not even oncecomplaining aboutdirtying up her dress. Wesit side by side, elbowsresting on our knees,facing out towards the sea
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as the sun, lowering out onthe horizon, paint the skypink and orange.
"You're right, I have totry." I say quietly, more tomyself than to her.
I feel her small handsqueeze my arm in a signof reassurance.
"Can I ask you aquestion now? Is my turn
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in the hot seat over?""Sure..."she replies
cautiously."Why did you really
bring those condoms withyou?"
Minka huffs out abreath. "I told you, I reallydidn't pack them. Myfriends must have plantedthem in there as a joke."
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"Did you think Iexpected sex for bringingyou out here?" It was areality I feared ever sinceI'd asked her to come herewith me. I didn't want herto think she owed me athing, and I didn't want topressure her intosomething she didn't wantto do. "Because I don't, at
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all. I want you toexperience that, preferablywith me, but whenever itis, when you're ready. Iwould never, ever pressureyou."
"Wait...Owen, I'm not avirgin."
Her answer slaps meacross the face, and thenmakes it burn with shame.
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Fuck, I shouldn't haveassumed that. Now I’vemade an ass out of myself,and probably made heruncomfortable. And I’malso a tiny bit disappointedthat someone had gotten tohave that cherished gift ofhers.
"I didn't...I'm sorry. Ijust assumed...because you
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seemed so timid the firstfew times...and I...I'msorry."
"I mean...I know itmight be hard to imaginesomeone would want mein that way...." she shrugsher shoulders, draggingher fingers through thesand idly.
"No, Minka, that's not
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what I meant by that at all.Truly. I just...you said acouple of times that youweren't as experienced,and so I justthought...Jesus, I'm anidiot. Just forget I ever saidanything."
An awkward silencepasses between us as thesun descends further into
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the looming night sky."We should head back
before it gets too dark." Ihate myself for putting thiskind of tension into herpetite body. She stills mewith her hand as I go toget up.
"I can, I can tell youabout it. My first time. Ifyou want to know." Her
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voice sounds so small,fragile.
I really don’t want tohear about it, her withsomeone else. But thisseems like a big step forher, by the way she’sbreathing as if she’s aboutunleash a giant secret. “I’dlove to listen, to be here foryou."
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"I was a sophomore. I'dnever been particularlypopular, but I hung on theoutside rim of the in-crowd, mostly because ofmy two best friends.During the second week ofschool, this junior boycame up and introducedhimself. I thought he wasso cute, and I was freaking
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out because he wasactually talking to me. I'dnever had that kind ofattention before.” Shesmiles, but its not right. Itlooks more self-deprecating than anything.
“Anyway, he asked meto hang out that weekend.He took me to the movies.Bought me Twizzlers, put
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his arm around me, and atthe end of the night, gaveme my first real kiss on thelips." She pauses, a wanesmile crossing her lips.
"It went on like that fora while, he was reallysweet and attentive. Butthen he'd start asking meto do things. Intimatethings. Just a little here and
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there, and not aggressivelyenough that I thoughtanything of it. I'dconvinced myself that hewas older, and in order tobe with him I needed to upmy game. So I did. Thingswere usually all about him,but there were times thathe pushed me a little toofar, touched somewhere
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that I wasn't exactlycomfortable with. But hewas so sweet after thosetimes, that it made up forall of that." She lookspained now, as if oldwounds are being slicedopen and exposed to thesalty air. I want to comforther, badly, but am hesitantto. I don't want to spook
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her."Winter Formal rolled
around and he asked me togo with him. I was ecstatic.I'd never been asked toanything before. I waspainstakingly thorough inmy getting ready, the rightdress, the perfect shoes. Ieven paid to have my hairdone. When he picked me
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up, I could smell thealcohol on his breath. Ipushed it aside, notwanting to ruin the night.Tons of kids drank forthese things, right?"
My blood singes in myveins, because I had beenone of those kids. I want topunch myself. This prickwasn’t good enough for
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her, and neither was I."The dance was fun
enough, he seemed a littleout of it, but I was therewith him. Everyone knewwho I was, and knew wewere unofficially a couple.I thought it was awesome.Afterwards, there was thishuge party at JasonHinkley's house."
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I'd almost gone to that,but Farris had thrown aseniors only get togetherthat I'd ended up atinstead.
"When we got there, hekept drinking. I had one ortwo. He was sweet,hanging his arms aroundme, kissing me in front ofeveryone. When he asked
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me to go upstairs, I wasnervous, but I just pushedpast it. This was what highschool was about, right?”She shrugs, clearly notbelieving her thoughtprocess.
“Well, the whole sexthing was fairly awkward,it hurt most of the timeand he didn't pay much
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attention to my needs."Fuckbag. Only the
biggest of pussies got offwithout helping out theirwoman.
"I thought, I'd done it,you know? At least itwould get better fromhere. He was so nice therest of the night, pumpedup actually. And
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then...when I got to schoolMonday morning. Hedumped me. In front ofeveryone.”
Her voice cracks as shefinishes that sentence, andI ball my hands into fistsuntil I can feel my nailsbreaking the skin. I’msuddenly so angry I don’tthink I can hear the rest of
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her story."Turns out I was a prize
in some game. He told thewhole school I was easy,and anytime I saw himafter that he'd cough someobscenity under his breath.Everyone did. I became thebutt of the school widejoke for the next...well, Iguess I still am."
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I can’t see my vision isso black with rage. Thisfucker was lucky enoughto be with Minka, luckyenough that she gave himher virginity, and he threwit back in her face. And allof those people mocked herfor it? I was ready toobliterate the world. "Whois he?"
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"Owen, it wouldn'tmake a difference. Notnow." she sighs, resigningherself to her fate.
"Who is he?""It doesn't matter
anymore. Right before Imet you actually, I'ddecided to stop letting itmatter. I'm not playing thevictim anymore. I had a
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hand in what happened, Icould have chosen not topush aside those red flags."
"Don't you ever saythat. None of that wasyour fault. Some assholetook this beautiful,innocent girl and used her.Used you. You don't everdeserve that. Fuck all ofthose people, Minka."
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She gives a weak smile."So...that's why I didn'twant to get to know you.In some ways, the situationis all to familiar. Older guypursuing me, so persistentand charming—“ Shenudges me, trying to makeme laugh at her joke. Ican’t find the humor in it.
"I would never do that
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to you.""I think I know that.
Which is why I'm herewith you." She snugglescloser, putting her smallarm around my back,comforting me. "But Owen,don't hurt me. I don't thinkI could take it again."
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AFTER WE’D WALKED QUIETLY
BACK from the beach, I'dgrilled up salmon thatMaria had stocked thefridge with. Minka put onsome soft rock and pulledout two beers. I think shewas trying to lighten themood after our serioustalks. It helped a little.
We laid on the sofa in
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the living room, me flat onmy back, her wedgedbetween me and the backof the couch, wrappedaround my body like akoala bear. I stroke herback absentmindedlywhile watching thebaseball game lighting upthe TV.
Something has
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changed, shifted. Sure, Istill want to have hernaked and under me atpretty much all points ofthe day. But I have thisstrange need to fiercelyprotect her that wasn'tthere before. I guess herfather and I have that incommon now.
I need to keep her safe,
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destroy anything bad thatcomes into her life. I'msurprised to find that I'mseriously falling for thisgirl. Surprised not becauseI don't want to fall for her,that's not it. Its justthat...I've never really feltthis way before.
But then again, I knewfrom the moment I'd met
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her that nothing withMinka was going to besimilar to any otherrelationship I'd ever had.
"Are you excited?" Herrandom question pulls meout of my deep thoughts.
"Huh?""To go pro. To be one of
these guys." She fluttersher hand towards to the
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TV, where the camera hasa close up of the pitcherwaving of signals at hiscatcher.
"Yeah...I think so. I'mnot sure."
"You're not sure? Isn't itlike a flight or fightresponse? You either haveto have it, or you don't."
"I guess. I just...I've
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always been good atbaseball. Its not somethingI've ever had to struggle at.I do love it, there isnothing compared to thatfeeling of standing on thatmound, controlling all ofthe players on the chessboard. But sometimes Ithink I'll get there andthink, 'This is it?'"
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She yawns, "I guessyou won't know until youget there."
I glance at the clock,not realizing it was alreadymidnight. The game beingon the West Coast hadthrown me off.
"Alright beautiful, Ithink it's time for bed. Wehave to be up early, I'm
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teaching you to surf.""Oh, yay! I've always
wanted to try." She looksso cute in her sweatpantsand tank top, cuddled up.Her eyes are half-liddedshe’s so tired.
I take her hand andwalk her down thehallway to her room.Pausing outside the door
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frame, I kiss her forehead."This is where I leave you."
Her arms wrap aroundmy waist and she lookslike she wants to saysomething else. Instead,she presses up on her toesand kisses me lightly.
Her soft, plump lipssmoothe over mine,coaxing them in a slow
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and sensual rhythm. Iframe her face with mycallused hands, rubbingmy thumb across thevelvet of her cheek. Whenshe begins to breath heavygroans into our kiss, Iknow I have to break it off.After everything tonight, Ineed to show her that I’mnot just here for the
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physical."Goodnight Minka." I
drop my hands from herface and pull her handsaway from my body.
"Oh, okay. Goodnight."A tinge of something Ican’t put my finger onlights in her eyes. It maybe disappointment.Flashing one last smile, I
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mount the stairs to myroom.
Forcing myself to stayup there through the nightis one of the hardest thingsI’ve ever had to do.
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20
MINKA
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We woman are the absoluteworst. I'd been the one
to tell Owen that I didn'twant to stay in his bed. I'dtold him about how muchGregory had hurt me andused me. I'd been the onewho tried to push himaway from the beginning.
So why in the worldhad I been crushed when
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he'd essentially droppedme off at the guestbedroom last night?
Why had I laid in bed,not able to fall asleep until2:30 a.m., cursing myselffor ever telling him aboutGregory? Thinking heprobably wanted nothingto do with me now.
Why had I debated,
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several times, not waitingfor him to come to me andsimply walking up to hisroom?
This is why I avoidedshit like this. It made mecrazy. It made all womencrazy. We turned intoparanoid, question-askingmonsters who could donothing more than blow
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every situation out ofproportion.
Of course, everythingwith Owen today had beencompletely fine. Good toknow he hadn't lost anysleep over it.
Most of the morningand afternoon were spentdown by the water,teaching me to surf. Which
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hadn't been as much of adisaster as I'd originallythought. I even stood uptwo or three times.
We capped the day offwith an early dinner,Owen had grilled steakswhile I threw together myinfamous pasta salad. Wedrank wine with dinner.The whole thing felt very
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adult, which both excitedand scared me. I couldn'thelp straying back to myearlier thoughts that hewould never stick aroundfor an inexperienced highschool chick.
I was bent over thesecond floor balconyrailing, staring out at thenow descending sun
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dropping into the ocean,when Owen came out fromclearing the dishes. Insteadof cradling my backagainst his front as he'ddone yesterday, he stoodbeside me, just far enoughaway that we weren'ttouching. I gave an inwardgroan.
He'd been like this all
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day. Friendly but notaffectionate. If he didtouch me it was quick,none of those lingeringgrazes or heated stares.
I didn't need to betreated with kid gloves. Ifthis was my summer fling,the only chance I wasgoing to have with Owen,than I wanted my money's
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worth. I steel my nervesand dive head first.
"So...you were a greatteacher today."
"Thanks. That'sactually...um, my major."
Wow, hadn't knownthat. Now that I didthough, I could totally seeit. And I could totallypicture him, in his school
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appropriate button down,grading papers...okay,snap out it. That was onefantasy we could maybeact out later.
"You'd be great at that.But I'm wondering ifmaybe you had anotherlesson in you for today."
His eyes light up withinterest. "And what did
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you have in mind?""Well...I've never, I've
never skinny dippedbefore. And I thoughtmaybe you could showme?"
His baby blues liquefyinto cobalt orbs, and histongue darts out to wet hislips. I feel a little parchedmyself. That ask had taken
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all of my courage, and mybreath, with it.
"You...you want to goskinny dipping?" Henearly chokes.
"I do.""Okay, sure."He clasps my hand in
his large one and leads meto the outside stairs thatconnect the decks above
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and below us. When wecome to the first floor, hepulls me across the woodexpanse and down ontothe grass. Of courseOwen's family has abeautiful pool when thebeach was just steps away.
By now the sun hadfully gone down, the onlylight guiding us was the
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half moon hanging low inthe sky. At the edge of thepool, Owen drops myhand.
I was unsure of whatmove to make next. Mybrain had only gone so faras to think through theinitial ask.
"So first, you have totake off your clothes."
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Owen stares at megreedily, but warmthsparks in his eyes. I knowhe must have a lot of pent-up lust in there. We'dbarely done more thancuddle and makeout fortwo weeks.
I hold his eye contactwhile I ease one strap ofmy periwinkle tank top
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down. I watch him trackthe course of the skinnystrap down my arm, and itgives me a buzz of power,knowing how much Iaffect him.
I slip the other strapdown and then move tothe tiny silver buttons thatrun all the way down thefront of the shirt, keeping
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it closed. My fingers tingleas I slip each button out ofits loophole, with each onefalling open, more of myskin is hit with the coolnight air.
Owen’s eyes have goneblack by the time I shrugthe top off of my body,leaving me in my whitestrapless bra and white
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jean shorts.Wordlessly, he pulls his
navy blue t-shirt over hishead, tossing it to the side.The moonlight bounces offthe grooves of his muscles,highlighting just howamazing his body is.
He stands, waiting forme to make my next move.So that’s how we were
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going to play. I throw hima small, flirty smile as Iflick the button on myshorts. I hear his intake ofbreath at the tinymovement. I push thecourse material down mylegs and stand up straight,a little more self consciencethan before in just mywhite bra and bikini-style
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underwear.Owen pushes his khaki
shorts down roughly andfrantically. I hold in mylaugh at his haste.Someone’s in a hurry.
As soon as he standsup, he takes one look atme, and before I can reachback slowly and unhookmy bra, he whips his
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boxers off.I freeze. He was…he
was just so beautiful. And Iknow that was a weirdword to use in reference toa guy, but he just was. Helooked like a sculpture, hismuscles mimicking carvedstone. And down below…wow. He stood stiff as aboard, he was so turned on
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it looked painful.“Fuck this slow shit.”
One second he stood infront of me, the next I amin his arms, being pulledoff the ground. A splitsecond later we hit the coolsurface of the water,breaking through andsinking under.
The shock of being
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thrown, or carried, in hitsme, and I begin to strugglefrom Owen’s arms, whichwe are rapped around myhalf naked body at thebottom of the deep end.Kicking off, I swim up andbreak the surface,sputtering.
Owen comes up whileI’m coughing the water out
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of my lungs. “Thank god.”I choke.
“What?” Rivulets ofwater drip off his wavystrands, and his chiseledarm comes up to slick itback out of his face. Mycore aches in awareness.Tingles snaked down myspine as I remember justhow completely naked he
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is under the water.“I thought you were
never going to touch me.I’m not a china doll, Owen.I said don’t hurt me. Thatdidn’t mean you can’t playwith me.”
“Well get your sexy assover here then.” He swimscloser toward the middleof the pool, where he can
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stand.He urges me to move
closer, and my bodymoves of its own accord.All doubts and insecuritiesvanish the minute he pullsme into his tight, muscularform.
"How could I not touchyou? How I could notworship you? God, look at
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you."I look down between
us, trying hard to examinejust what he sees in methat makes him want todeclare me a god.
He moves his righthand from where it hadbeen locked around mywaist and ghosts hisfingertips over the tops of
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my breasts. Instantly, mynipples stiffen to a hardpeak, something that iseasily visible through thenow soaking wet whitepiece of lace.
I hear his sharp intakeof breath. "God damnit…”
Owen deftly reachesbehind me, and I hear thesnap as he unhooks my
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bra, sliding it from myshoulders in one swiftmove. I watch as the whispof white disappears intothe dark water of the deepend.
My attention is quicklypulled back to the glorious,naked man standing infront of me.
He wrenches me harder
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against him, with nobarrier in the way now, mybreasts mashing againsthis chest. My nipples areso hard that the suddencontact makes them singwith pleasure. He’s onlybeen touching me for acouple of seconds and I’malready so ready tounravel that it won’t take
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much more.Feeling his impressive
arousal nakedly pressingto the front of my belly hasme nervous. And whenI’m nervous, sometimes Ibabble.
"Isn't water supposedto shrink these things?"
I almost slap my handto my forehead after
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hearing that come out ofmy mouth. So sexy of you,Minka.
Owen chuckles, hisdesire not even phased bymy stupid comment. I cansee the heat pouring out ofhis eyes. He begins tomove us through the wateruntil he backs me upagainst the wall. "There
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isn't a moment when I'maround you that I'm nothard. That I'm not achingto be inside of you. I knowI said I wouldn't push you,but please, let me showjust what this thing can doin water."
I audibly gulp. I am soturned on in this moment,I would probably let him
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whip me or chain me up ifhe asked nicely. Movingmy hands quietly wherethey are concealed in themurky water below us, Imake contact with his cockand wrap one handaround it, stroking uplightly.
A low growl emanatesfrom his lips, and it was all
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the answer he needed.Owen plunges his head
down to meet mine,latching his lips onto myown and pulling long,sultry caresses from me.As my stroking increaseson his nowhere-near-shrinking anatomy, up anddown the bulging memberto his hot, swollen head,
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his kisses become frantic,eliciting moans and growlsthat work their way out ofmy throat.
And then, his handstear my own away fromwhat they so badly want tokeep doing. I frown intohis mouth, until he quietsme. "If you keep going, Iwill come way before I
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want this to end. You areamazing."
His brilliant blue eyesconnect with mine, andsparkle in the moonlight.
Then his hands are onme.
One massages my leftbreast, rubbing slow circleswhich he makes smallerand smaller until he
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brushes over my nipple,only to move back out andrepeat the process overagain. The other slipsthrough my lace panties,expertly locating the spotbetween my legs. "Oh godyess..." I mewl and dropmy head on Owen'sshoulder.
"That's it baby, let me
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hear how good I make youfeel."
His dirty words sends ashiver through my body.Switching breasts, hekneads the right one whilerubbing my clit at just theright pressure and speed. Ican’t help but squirm.
"Shit, Minka, yes. Ridemy hand."
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I’m burning up fromthe inside out, and the coldpool water burns my skinwhen the ripples hit me.Between the contrastingtemperatures and Owen'sministrations, I feel like mybody is a grenade, secondsaway from detonating.
Right as I feel the whitehot pleasure spike low in
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my core, about to send metumbling over the edge,Owen stops.
"Wha...what are youdoing?" I’m greedy andbreathless, so pissed thathe has left me teetering onthe cliff.
I get my answer whenOwen scoops me up,supporting my back with
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one hand and using hisother to wrap my legsaround his waist.Immediately, my bodygoes rigid withunderstanding. It's not thatI wasn't ready for sex withhim, but he hadn't evenasked. An alarm soundssomewhere in the back ofmy mind as Gregory's eyes
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loom in front of my face."Minka, relax. Look at
me." Owen says sharplybut softly. It was acommand, but not a gentleone. "I would never takesomething without asking.You tell me when you'reready for that. I just...Iwanted to try somethingthat I think you are really
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going to like. So just...trustme?"
My body relaxesfractionally, and he pullsme closer. I’m now all butstraddling his lap in astanding position.
He brings my armsaround his neck, gentlyinstructing me, and bendshis head to kiss me gently
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but thoroughly. His tonguesweeps over mine, coaxingsoft, needy sounds frommy mouth to his. Just asthe last of my tensionsmelt away, he brings ourgroins together, my clitlined up on his stillbulging dick.
Pulling away from ourkiss, Owen rests his
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forward against mine andstares deep into my eyes.In an almost imperceptiblemovement, he lifts me aninch, maybe two, and thenbrings me down just asslowly.
The feeling it createsmakes every hair on mybody stand on end. I feelthe tiny motion from my
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toes to the top of my head,both of which were nowtingling with jolts ofpleasure.
He does it again,mimicking the motions ofsex without being insideme. He uses his cock tomassage my most sensitivepart through myunderwear, the rough lace
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adding to the pressure andtorture.
His hands grip my ass,digging in enough that I’msure there will be bruisesthere for days. We bothsigh into the other's moutheach and every time hemoves me, and his eyes arelike a mirror for mine.They are hooded, drunk
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with passion.But what I hope he
can’t see in mine, what Ihope I can conceal evenwhile he’s unraveling mybody, is the well ofemotion appreciation andfeelings for him firmlycemented in my chest. Ifeel my heart crack underthe pressure with every
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move, humbled that hewould wait until I saidokay to sex. Cherished thathe wanted to find andintroduce me to newexperiences, both sexualand not. I was in gravedanger of falling in lovewith him, and I had to hideit as best as I could.Especially from myself.
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Owen's breathingbecomes more labored, hismotions with me morejerky. I can tell he’s close,and I’m not far off myself.I can feel the heat from hisrigid tool grinding ontomy clit, and I begin tomove back, squirming forthat release.
Sensing my need to
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come, Owen readjusts,scooping my ass up in onehand and gripping mehard by the hair, pullingmy mouth to his. The littlebite of pain is all I need tostart fucking him, over myunderwear, back.
My senses go intooverdrive, my brain hyperaware of Owen rubbing
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against me and claimingmy mouth in dirty, savagekisses. I break away toscream out as my orgasmbreaks over me, explodingfrom within me andrippling through my bodylike the water in the pool.
A moment or two later,Owen lets out a deepgroan followed by a string
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of curses as he shoots hot,thin strands of come ontomy stomach and his.
We’re both silent forwhat seems like minutes. Ican’t even find the energyto push away from theconcrete wall he’s backedme up against, which isnow cutting into my back.
When Owen finally
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speaks, he can’t even forma full sentence."You...that...Jesus."
I chuckle, and mentallypat myself on the back forrendering him speechless.
He swoops down toplace a gentle peck on mymouth. "Let's clean youup."
Moving us out into the
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open water of the deepend, he washes evidence ofhis pleasure away fromour stomachs, and thenproceeds to dunk me.
Cold water hits mylungs as I am pushedunder, and come upsputtering. "You reallyknow how to charm theladies, huh Axel?" I cough.
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"Just filling my dailyasshole-jock quota for theday. Wouldn't want to giveyou any less ammo in yourassault on my personality,you know?" He grins thatdevilish smile.
"Go find my bra. Somejerk took it from me and Ineed it back."
"Lucky jerk. But honey,
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you don't need to coverany of that up." Owenwinks and dives head firstdown into the deep end,presumably looking for thescrap of lace laying at thebottom.
I sigh and float onto myback, staring up at themoon in my afterglow ofbliss. I'd never known it
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could be like this.In the dozen or more
times I'd been withGregory, he'd never oncegiven me an orgasm.Which wasn't fine, butcould have been semi-overlooked if he'd beendecent afterwards.Usually, he'd carry onabout how good it felt for
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him, and then immediatelyget up to put his clothesback on. Then he'd eitherrush me out of his house,or quickly exit mine.
I had entered new anduncharted territory.Physically, things withOwen were amazing.Extraordinary. As good asthey could get, and more.
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But we also had afriendship, an easy banterand an understanding ofthe other's problems.
I'd never known whatpeople meant when theysaid the full package, but Igot it now. And it wouldbe extremely hard to let goof when the time came.
And that time would
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come, but right now, Iwanted to live for myself.In this moment. No regretsor fears or doubts.
I hear Owen's bodybreak the surface of thewater, and am aware of hisproximity to me. Rightbefore he can grab me anddo god know's what, I sinkunder and push away
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from him, swimming intothe shallow end andmaking a break for thestairs.
I amble up onto thestoned patio surroundingthe pool, and stand in themoonlight, facing the poolin nothing but my tinythong.
Owen remains in the
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shallow end, frozen inplace holding my bra.
He stares, his eyesraking over my body likelaser beams, hot andgreedy, pinpointing mynaked breasts, stomachand legs. I see him begin toharden again, his semi-erect cock rising above theshallow water.
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"What the fuck did I doto deserve being here withyou right now?" His gazeflicks up to my eyes, as ifhe was seriously askingme, expecting an answer."You're so fuckingbeautiful, Minka.Everything about you."
His words stroke myheart, causing me to go a
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bit weak in the knees. Idon’t think before I ask.
"Will you take me toyour bed tonight?"
HE LED me up the stairs,holding tight and firm tomy hand as we went.When we made it the thirdfloor, he stood toe-to-toe
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with me. Sweeping me intoa hug, he began to move,slowly, like we weredancing. His fingers werelike flower petals, brushinggently up and down mybody.
"We don't have to dothis if you're not sure. Yousay how far and how fast."
I nod to his statement.
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It’s all I can do, not surewhat words might comeout if I speak. I was sureabout this, but I didn'twant to get in my ownway.
Owen, still hugging meto his chest, backs me upinto his room. Themoonlight streamsthrough the big bay
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windows, illuminating hislarge body.
Still naked, with waterdroplets clinging to hishair and chest, he lookslike a Roman statue cometo life. He took my breathaway.
"Come here, beautiful."He demands quietly,giving me a look full of
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lust and warmth.One big hand frames
my face, the other pressesinto my lower back as hetakes my lips up. Takinghis time, swiping histongue in and out of mymouth, he backs us uptoward the bed and gentlylays us down.
We just kiss for a while,
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so much so that I amtrembling from theintensity and care he isputting into this moment.This was nothing like thepool, where we'd takeneach other hot and fast.Owen was seducing menow, slowly and tenderly.It felt important. Deep. Theconnection he was
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carefully building causedmy heart to melt.
Moving his thigh outfrom between my legs, hebegins to kiss slowly downmy body, and I feel myselfstart to shake more.
"Calm down. I'm goingto make you feel good."Owen smiles up at me, andI relax a little.
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And then his tongue isthere, and I am shakinglike my body is goingthrough a seizure.
He is lighting me onfire from the inside out,my body feeling like it wasgoing to combust at anyminute. Owen uses histongue and his hands,building up slowly to the
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very peak of my orgasm,and then slowing downright before I shatter.
"Owen..."I croak, andmy voice sounds so faraway, like I’m not evenhearing it from inside theroom.
He looks up, his eyesburning blue flames, justlike the hottest tip of the
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fire. I see him reach intohis suitcase at the foot ofthe bed, and come up witha condom.
Laying down next tome, I rub his chestimpatiently as he rolls therubber skin onto himself.His cock is pulsing,engorged to the point thatI don’t think it will fit
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inside me.Owen positions himself
on top of me, staring intomy eyes.
"I know you haven't...ina while. This might hurt.Just talk to me, ok?"
I nod, not even able tospeak I'm so far gone at themoment.
And then he's pushing
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into me.He wasn't kidding
about the hurt part. I don'tremember much of the sexGregory and I had, but Ido know that Owen is waybigger than him.
There is a pinchingsensation as he slides in.
"Ok?" He looksworried. A vein in his neck
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is popping out, and I cantell he's trying to keep hisdesires in check.
"Yeah." I whisper,canting my hips. I knowthat it will feel better oncehe starts to move.
Owen strokes once,twice, slow and testing. Amoan rips out of me as hepushes in to the hilt.
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"Yesss..." he growls atthe noises coming from mymouth.
I think I might explodeat any moment. My bodyknows exactly what to doas Owen coaxesunintelligible sounds frommy mouth. I’m so full ofhim that I’m afraid everynext move will shatter me
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entirely.He takes my hands,
lacing his fingers throughmine and pinning them tothe back of the bed nearmy head.
“I want to see you.” Heshudders, and I can tellthat we are both so closebut trying to prolong this.
We stare into each
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other’s eyes as he rocksinto me, the pressure oh sogood when he fills me up. Ilet out a soft whine eachtime he retreats, as if mybody won’t functionproperly without himinside me.
I’m not sure how I gotso close so fast, but before Iknow it, the first signs of
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orgasm are sendingelectrical pulses throughmy nerve endings, poolinglow in my belly and thenexploding out as the fullforce of it overtakes me.
I’m moaning andmewling into Owen’s chestas he barricades me to thebed, picking up speed toget himself there and keep
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my orgasm going.Shudders and aftershockswrack my body, and I feelmyself hurdling towardthe peak again as hepounds into me.
“Shit, baby, oh my god.I’m gonna…” Owen can’teven get the last word outas he stares into my face,letting out the sexiest
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growl I’ve ever heard as hejerks into my body. Thenhe stills completelys, and Ican feel his release pouringout, the veins in his cockmilking every last drop.
He lowers onto mecarefully, kissing my neck,my collarbone, and finallymy lips.
“You’re perfect.” He
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looks at me in awe, and Ican’t wipe the goofy grinoff of my face.
My body was in purebliss, riding high from myorgasm. And I was happy.Really happy. I’d beenbrave enough to givemyself to another boy, totry and erase the badmemories that this
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intimate act held for me.Owen hadn’t just
erased them. He’dobliterated them.
“Give me a second, I’llbe ready for round two injust a minute.” Owenbreathed sarcastically,heavily rolling off of meand pulling me to him.
My eyes widen at his
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dick, which is still rockhard.
“Remember the firsttime we met, when yousaid you wouldn’t takeyour thong off for me…”
“You’re a jerk.” I laugh,knowing exactly where heis going with that one.
“But I’m your jerk.” Heeyes me greedily, rolling
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me onto my back.And my smart mouth
doesn’t protest one bit.
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21
OWEN
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My mother, while she lovedme and doted on me
non-stop, hadn't done mylaundry in years. After afew baseball games whereI'd come home covered indirt, sweat, or worse,blood, she'd gotten the hellout of Dodge. Her messageto me? If I wanted tocontinue with baseball, I'd
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have to wash my own vileuniforms.
While it sucked thosefirst few years, I didn'tmind it so much now. Plus,it had prepared my spoiledass for college, where thereis no mommy and nomaids.
The rest of the weekendwith Minka had gone
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perfectly. Fuckingperfectly. We spent most ofit in bed, naked, and thatwas just fine for me. Aftera short beach excursion thenext morning, we’dheaded home on Sunday.I’d left her blushing on herfront steps after a verylong makeout session.
I couldn’t get enough of
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her. What she gave to me,not only her body, but hercomplete trust? I felt likelocking it up and eatingthe key. I was going toprotect her and it witheverything I had.
Folding anotherpractice jersey and placingit to the side, I glance up tomake eye contact with
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none other than my dad,standing in the door frame.
I regard him silently. Ihaven’t spoken to himsince our blow up when I'dgotten back from the clinicalmost a month ago, andhad seen him just about asmuch as that.
"Just wait until you'rein the majors and someone
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does that for you. Majorperk." He gives me athumbs up in his lameattempt to start thisconversation. The fact thathe starts off with mentionof the majors only ticks meoff more.
"Is there something youneeded?" I disjointedlybegin whipping clothes
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out of the basket andfolding them haphazardly.If I can just finish, it meansbeing able to leave thisroom and walk out on anytalk with my dear old dad.
When he doesn’t sayanything for severalseconds, I’m forced to lookback up. And have tomentally check myself to
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not let my jaw hit the floor.My father actually looksnervous.
I'd seen him arrogant,cocky, and on the certainoccasion happy. But neverhave I seen him nervous.
"I know you're mothertalked to you about sittingdown with me. I waswondering if we could do
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that now.""Sure, I'm sitting." I am
a prick, but doing it onpurpose. Let him grovel abit more.
"This is probably a talkI should have had withyou a long time ago...." Hestarts in, his Adam’s Applebobbing as he swallows,visibly shaken. What the
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hell has him so on edge?“My childhood, it
wasn’t an easy one, Owen.You know I grew up poor,but you don’t know thecircumstances of it. I nevertalked about it, and there isvirtually no one left frommy past, so nothing hasever come out.”
I knew he was poor
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growing up, it was actuallyone of the things thatconnected my parents. Theother was that theyworked their way to thetop from nothing, which Irespected immensely.
He keeps going. “Igrew up in this shit poortown in Arkansas. Mydad…he was a drunk, a
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total loser. I never met mymother, she either took offor died before I couldremember her.”
Shock overtakes mysystem…I can’t everimagine my powerful,arrogant father in asituation like the one he’sdescribing.
“This house, yes its a
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mansion by any standards.But my childhood home? Itmakes this place look like afucking castle. I grew up ina one bedroom trailer. Thewater tank would go outevery other day, I slept onthe couch for fifteen years.Fifteen years, Owen. Ididn’t have a bed until Ijoined the minors.”
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His eyes dart aroundthe room. I can feel theangst and pain pouring offof him, this being a topiche obviously never wantedto address again.
“Dad, you don’t…wedon’t have to talk aboutthis…” I say cautiously. Isuddenly feel very youngsitting next to my father,
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who is close to tears.“No, I need to tell you
this. We weren’t just poor,Owen. That would havebeen bearable. But no. Thatbastard couldn’t just livewith that. He had to abuseme on top of everythingelse.” He whispers outthese last words, as ifsaying them quietly means
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he’s not really puttingthem out into the world.“He kicked the living shitout of me on a daily basissince I can remember. Hewould have friends,girlfriends, drug dealersover.”
Rolling up his sleeveand turning his arm over, Isee dozens of tiny scars
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I’ve never bothered to lookat before. “They wouldslap me, kick me, and evenput out cigarettes on me.”
A tiny tear slips out ofhis eye, rolling down to hissturdy jaw. I have never inmy life seen my father cry.It makes me feel incrediblyhelpless and small, like theworld is closing in on me.
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“Dad, I’m sorry…Ididn’t know—” I’m nearlychoking on the words now.
“No. I’m sorry.” Hesighs, rolling down hissleeves and checking hisemotions. “I didn’t knowwhat my place as a fatherwas. One minute I didn’twant to be anything likemy father, and the next I
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thought that his roughtreatment of me got me towhere I was. And maybe itwould make you a star,too. All I’ve ever wantedwas for you to achieveyour dreams. And eversince you were little, youwanted to play ball. I justwanted to help you getthere.”
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He looks at me then,regret and apology in hiseyes. The same color asmine. “And now I fear thatI’ve done it all wrong. Ithought being a hardasswas what was best. But itsnot how I feel. I am sogoddamn proud of you,Owen. You are ten timesthe player that I ever was,
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and you are destined forthe history books.”
The straightjacket ofpressure that has beenstrapped to my chest fornearly my entire lifesuddenly snaps. Relief andmy father’s words are thebalm that cools my hurtingsoul. Proud. It was the oneword I’d always yearned
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to hear, and here he was,serving it to me on a silverplatter.
“Thanks, dad. For uh…telling me about yourpast…but also for beingproud of me. I…I wasalways doing all of this foryou. Sure, I love the game.But you’re the one whotaught me to love it.”
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“I’d like to start over. Ifyou’ll let me.” His eyesplead with me.
Surprise still runsthrough my veins. I havenever seen him so contrite.Its like staring at acomplete stranger. I don’treally know to process orfeel about this entireexchange. But this is what
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I’d always wanted. If hecould try harder, so couldI.
“I think that would begreat.” I hold out my handfor him to shake, but hepulls me into a huginstead.
I am beyond shockedthat I think my body goeskind of stiff. The whole
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thing is a bit awkward, butwe’ll work on it.
We both pull back,smiling sheepishly at theweird affectionatemoment.
“So, uh, mom saysyou’ve been seeing a girl.”This was his attempt to tryharder? Well, I guess girlswas a neutral subject.
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“Yeah, I have. She’s…incredible.” I smile widejust thinking of Minka.
“Uh oh,” Dad laughs, abig hearty laugh. “You’rein deep boy!”
“Huh?”"I mean, you are in the
shit deep. That was theexact look I had when Iwas first trying to get your
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mother to date me."He raises an eyebrow at
me, and I think about it.Yeah, I really like Minka. Alot. But we have only spenta month or two getting toknow each other. Can Ialready be in that deep?
Yeah, I definitely can.She wasn't like any
other girl I'd ever
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encountered. She was shy,yet bold. She wasconservative, yet carefreeand would hand anyonewho questioned her theirass. She was so fuckingsmart, something thatturned me on almost asmuch as her fuckingperfect face and figure.And she understood me,
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but also called me on mycrap.
I had to be a goddamnmoron not to have lockedher down already.
"You should bring herto dinner this week, we'dlike to meet her." Dadcomments before rising towalk to my door.
Before he turns out, I
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stop him. "Heydad...thanks for this. Andyeah, I’ll bring her by."
He nods, a small smileflashing across his face.
Once he'd leaves, I grabmy phone from where itlays across the bed, andunlock it. Flipping onto myback, I punch the screen,and Minka's number
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flashes across it.I didn't want to wait
another second. Beingaway from that girl wastorture. And if I had anysay about where this washeaded, she would soon bemy girl.
She picks up on thethird ring.
"Hello..." her voice has
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a questioning ring to it."Hey, its me." We
hadn't talked on the phoneall that much, but uh, shehad my number. It wasprogrammed into herphone.
"Oh, hey. Sorry, I'm justin the middle of studying. Iwasn't really payingattention when I picked up
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—“ she trails off and Iknow she’s deep inthought. The image of herbent over textbooks, apencil in her mouth, thatconcentrated look in hereye instantly makes mydick go from zero to raringto go in two seconds flat. Ibegin to stroke myselfthrough my pants. I’m
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aware I’m a very sick man."Oh yeah? Let me come
over and help you study..."I begin to pretend to heavybreathe through the phone.
"You are a sick man."Yeah, she knows me.
"And you love it. Comeon, let me come over. Itssummer! Loosen up withme."
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"I hear your naughtysmile through the phone.And I would smack you ifI wasn't so intrigued aboutyou coming over."
"So that's a yes?" Isilently pray.
"Yes. Come over, youpushy jock." Immediatelycoming to my feet, I putMinka on speaker and
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throw the phone on mydresser.
"I'm going to choose toignore that now and act onmy feelings when I getover there." Pulling the t-shirt I pluck out of mylaundry pile over my head,I sniff once. Yeah, newdeodorant applicationneeded stat.
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"Ok, I'll see you whenyou get here." She hangsup, cutting me off fromany more dirty comments Icould, and probably wouldhave, made.
I don new shorts withmy college logo on them,and check my teeth in themirror for any lunch leftbehind. Pulling on my
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socks and sneakers, I grabmy wallet and keys, almosttripping over my feettrying to scramble downthe stairs.
"Woah, caro, where isthe fire?" Mama stops inthe hallway, carrying a tallvase of freshly cut flowers.
"I'm going over toMinka's, I'll be home later."
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I stoop to kiss her on thecheek. My heart is beatingfull blast, as if pulling mychest to the car and onestep closer to Minka.
"Ah, young love. Youbetter invite her for dinnertomorrow!" she yells at meas I run out the door.
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IT PROBABLY TAKES aboutfifteen minutes to getacross town to Minka'splace. I get there in fiveflat.
Good thing dad wasthe local celebrity, andspeeding by an Axel wasexcused. Bad thing that Iwas dating the PoliceChief's daughter. He
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would have totallyarrested me on the spot.
I walk around to thebackyard per Minka's textinstructions she'd sent overbefore I'd left my ownhouse.
And my studyingfantasy is even better thanI could have imagined.
Minka sat tucked into a
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chair pulled into the patiotable, books surroundingher on every side. Herdark, wild hair was piledon top of her head, makingher look like some Greciangoddess. Her face wasmakeup free, as it usuallywas. For some reason, Inow thought every girl I'dever considered pretty
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with that dirt slopped ontheir face was unattractive.
But its what she’swearing that utterly slaysme.
Her red bikini peaksout from the gauzy whitecover-up thing girls werealways wearing. If it wasmeant to cover them, whywas it see-through?
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Not that I wascomplaining at thisparticular moment.
I can make out theswells of her tits, bulgingbut contained in the tinyscraps of fabric. Her tightstomach is visible, with thebottoms she wears ridinglow on her sexy hips.
Bounding over in three
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strides, I scoop her up."Ohmygod Owen! You
scared me! What, did youdo like 85 coming overhere?!"
I cut the rest of herinterrogation off, shovingmy tongue in her mouth.This girl makes me feel likea savage. I can’t behavemyself when it came to
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her.After looping my
tongue with her's,rendering us bothbreathless by the time Ipull away, I speak. "If Ihad known that this washow you were studying, Iwould have done 100.Jesus, Minka."
I push her away a bit so
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I can take a mental pictureof her dressed like this.That one was definitelygoing in the spank bankfor later use.
She blushes, pushing atmy shoulder. "Enoughgawking jeez."
She is so fucking cutewhen she was shy. Shewalks me over to the
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lounger on the oppositeend of the patio and scootsagainst the back of it whileI take a seat on the end. Ireach for her hand,running my other hand upand down her calf. Justtouching her makes myworld better.
"How's studyinggoing?"
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She has both eyesclosed, head tilted up intothe sun, basking in therays. I feel like the blood inmy body is moving toofast. I can hear itwhooshing in my ears.
"It was good, butboring. I'm glad you cameover."
"Me too, I missed you."
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That earns me an eye openand a bright smile fromher.
"Really?" She asks as ifshe doesn’t quite believeme.
"Yeah. These past twomonths have been great.Getting to know you."
"I feel the same." Backto shy, coy Minka.
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I take a deep breathe,preparing myself for thecommitment bomb I’mabout to drop on her. "So,my parents want you tocome over for dinnertomorrow."
That earns me a twoeye open and a jaw drop."Your parents know aboutme?"
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What? Girls were soweird. "Of course theyknow about you. That'swhat happens when youlike someone. When youreally like them. Yourfriends and dad knowabout me, right?"
"Well...yeah...but that'sbecause they saw you withme."
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What did that mean?"So if they hadn't seen me,you would have what?Kept me a secret?" The factthat the thought hadcrossed her mind kind ofstung.
"I'm not saying that...itsjust...with my past, I like tokeep things a bit moreprivate."
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Okay, I got that she'dbeen wounded. "You haveto know that I'd never hurtyou. I want to do theopposite in fact. I want youto meet my parents. Isn'tthat like, magic words to agirl?"
"I guess you got stuckwith the a-typical girl ofthe bunch." She frowns,
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and I grab her chin to pullher face level with mine."Isn't it a bit too fast to bemeeting your parentsanyway?"
"I don't think so.They're curious about mygirl."
She sits back insurprise. "Your girl?"
"Yeah...you, crazy. The
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girl I've been spending allof my time with. The girlI'd like to be able to callmine if she'd let me. Ifshe'd stop being so damnstubborn."
I move closer to her onthe lounger, so that she isalmost sitting in my lap. Iwrap my arms around herto pull her closer to me.
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"Say you'll be mygirlfriend." I whisper,searching her eyes forsome kind of positiveanswer.
"Owen..." she sighs, herdazzling eyes a mixture ofcaution and question."You'll be at college, I stillhave another year left here,who knows where I'll be
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after that—“I cut her off, trying to
calm any nerves she hadabout making this official."I'm only forty fiveminutes away. We willmake it work, I can comehere and you can drive tome some weekends. Wedon't have to outlineeverything now, but I just
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know that here, at school,hell wherever I am, therewill not be another girl asamazing as you. I reallywant to give us a shot."
She’s silent for aminute or two, that sexycontemplative lookmarking her face. Finally, Icouldn't take it.
Leaning forward, I
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framed her beautiful facewith my hands, their sizedwarfing her petitefeatures. I stroke mythumb across her highcheekbones, and watch herlean into the caress.Moving my lips to hers, Iswipe them softly once,twice. I coax her lips withmine, until we were
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kissing slowly and softly,moving our mouths intandem.
I was trying to pour allof my feelings of hope intoher. Come on, say yes.
"This is not fair. You'recheating." She groans as Iswoop in for anotherlanguid kiss.
She moves her hands to
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my pecs, pulling on myshirt to move me closer. Iam practically drowning inher fragrant smell, lilacwith a touch of sunscreen.My hands move down herback as I pull her over tostraddle me. I can feel herhot flesh through thegauzy material, and herscrap of bikini is doing
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nothing to conceal thewetness pooling from hercore.
God, she is so wet I feelit through my shorts. Mydick is so hard it feelspainful pushed betweenus.
"Say you'll be mygirlfriend." I grip hersmooth, curvy hips,
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grinding her clit and assup and down on myerection, giving us both thefriction we desire.
A small moan burstsfrom her lips. "Fine," shecroaks.
"What was that?" I lickthe small, sensitive spotbehind her left ear, and mydick twitches at her sharp
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intake of breath."Yes. I'll be your
girlfriend." Minka ismewling at me now,pawing at my shirt to get itover my head.
I wrap her legs aroundmy waist and stand,carrying her into herhouse. I suck and bite herneck as we go, her body
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barely hanging onto mine.I take us down a hallway,only to discover we'dended up near the garage.
"Other direction," shehalf-giggles, half-whinesbecause of how ready sheis.
I head across thesprawling ranch, nearlyrunning now I need to be
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inside her so badly.Meanwhile, the little vixenis raking her fingersthrough my hair andsucking on the spot on myneck that made my ballsdraw up in anticipation.Sensations are skitteringdown my body, zeroing inon the head of my cock.
Finally, finding her
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room, I march in and allbut throw her on the bed.
"You drive me insane."I am fully aware I’mprobably looking at herlike a lunatic right now,but the way her face isflushed and her hairmussed up from myfingers, I have to strain toget my dick under control.
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I was seconds away fromcoming.
She squirms on the bed,not even able to talk, justtelling me with her bodywhat she wants.Frantically, I pull her tinybottoms off, revealing herbare, wet pussy.
My dick twitches hard.This isn’t going to last
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long.I dive down onto the
bed and between herluscious, tan thighs. I cansee her arousal, slick anddripping from her slit. Icould die like this andhave no regrets.
I take the first tentativetaste, gauging herresponse. I haven’t tasted
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her up until this point, andam now wondering whyI’ve waited so long.
Minka makes a long,satisfied moan and I thinkI might faint I’m so close toexploding. Trying to keepmy release at bay, I suckand nip at her clit, herscent driving me nuts allthe while.
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I have to dig my fingersinto her thighs to keep herfrom squirming.
"Owen, I need you.Now."
She doesn’t have to tellme twice. I whip my shirtoff and fumble to kick myshoes and pants off,followed by my boxers.
I wince when my dick
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hits the air. Its so hot andheavy that the cool breezecoming in through thewindows stings my flesh.
"Condoms?" I canbarely speak I am so readyto be buried inside her.Shit, I can't believe I'dforgotten them again.
Minka smirks throughher hazy eyes and opens
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her bedside drawer,throwing the small box atme. "At least one of us isprepared, Axel."
I tear at the box, notcaring where the extracondoms fly as I grab oneand rip at the foil. Rollingthe little rubber circle ontomy dick, I scoot her over tothe other side of the bed
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and lie flat on my back."Get on top of me."Her eyes widen, not
expecting my request. Iknow she’s never done itthis way, and I can’t waitto teach my girl just howmuch better sex can get.
Hesitantly, shestraddles me, lifting herhips up until the head of
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my cock is just poking ather wet entrance.
"Wait." I reach up,dragging the gauzy film ofa dress off and out of theway. Then I reach behindher, untying the littlebikini top until thetriangles gap at herbreasts. I pull that over herhead and marvel when her
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amazing rack springs free.I drag one finger over hertaut nipple.
She gives a whimper,and I gently position her sothat my cock nudges at herswollen lips. Placing herhands on my chest, sheslowly lowers herself ontome.
I hold my breath, and
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probably popped a fewblood vessels in variousparts of my body, tryingnot to come. As she slidesdown me, her tight pussygrips me like a fist.
"Fuck, you're so tight,babe." The room is too hot,I can already feel sweatsprouting onto myforehead while trying to
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keep my orgasm at bay.Minka's moans are
coming out harsh andlilted now, and when shesinks all the way downonto me, she lets out awhoosh of a breath.
"I'm so...full this way. Idon't think I can take it."She looks drunk witharousal, her fingers
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digging into my chest asshe rocks to feel themotion of me inside her.
"Shit!" Even that smallmovement almost sendsme shooting my load upinto her.
"I'm so close Owen. Tellme what to do." She nearlycries as she says it.
Gripping her hips
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tighter, I forcefully dragher up, and then slam herback down onto me. I canfeel the semen leakingfrom my head. I couldn'tgo much longer.
"Was that ok?"She nods
imperceptibly, her dilatedeyes telling me that sheneeds the release as much
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as I do."I'm so close too, baby.
Move for me. For us."And she does. With me
gripping her hips and herfingernails digging into myskin, we move together.Pumping and retreating,gasping and moaning.
I was impaling herfrom below, each time she
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sat back down on me, shetook me all the way to theballs.
"Yes, oh god, Owen..." Iknow she’s about to reachher orgasm.
"Come for me. You'remine. Let me hear you."
I see the shudder thatstarts from the tips of herears and snakes down her
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body, her gorgeous curvesrolling with it. When it hitsher core, she stops moving,her eyes locking intenselyon mine for a split second.
And then she’sthrowing her head back,her guttural moansshooting a beam of luststraight to my balls.Watching her face,
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completely relaxed withpure bliss, makes me go offlike a trigger.
I jut and buck my hipsup into her tight heat in adisjointed fashion, justtrying to bury myself asdeep inside of her as I canget. She leans over,completely sated. Whenher tight buds brand the
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flesh of my chest with theirheat, I go off like a cannon.
A harsh shout works itsway through me, and I canfeel the pure fucking liquidpleasure work its way outof my dick. I pump myhips until I’m too tired toride it out any longer, andeven then I want to do itall over again.
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Minka lays on mychest, both of us a littlesweaty and a lotexhausted. I know she hasto be bone tired; its thefirst time she’s ever donethat and damn, had sheridden the shit out of me.
I know I should pullout, tuck her into my chestand let her nap for a little,
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but I am too selfish. Evenafter I’ve fucked her likethe world is ending, I canfeel the little bastardharden inside her tight,wet, perfect pussy.
I run my hand over herhair, trailing more than afew curls that have fallenout of her bun. I trace thevelvety curves of her back
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until I hear her breathingeven out, and I know she isprobably close to sleep.
“We should mmmmget…uhh.” Her grumblingis adorable, and satisfying.I’d fucked the smartassremarks right out of her.
Fuck, now I wasthinking about fucking hermouth, and I really needed
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to calm down.“We should put clothes
on before the chief getshome.”
That has me moving. Ishoot up, whipping off mycondom and trying to finda tissue to hide it in mypocket. I yank my boxersof the floor, putting one legthrough and almost face-
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planting in my haste topull them up my body.
Minka giggles, layinggloriously naked in themiddle of her bed. “Areyou that scared of him?”
“Babe, have you seenthat guy? He would rip mynutsack off if he knew Iwas having sex with hisdaughter.”
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Her dad really is scary.Scarier than my dad,which is saying something.
Getting up lazily, shebegins to cross the roomand pulls an outfit out ofher dresser. I can’t help butstare as she bends over toput the blue lacyunderwear on.
Focus, Axel.
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I pull the rest of myclothes on, and then crossthe room to wrap my armsaround a fully clothedMinka. I pull her close,inhaling the smell of sex onher.
“Say you’ll come overtomorrow night.” I plant akiss on her lips.
“Okay. I’ll come.”
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I’d never brought a girlhome before. With Allison,I always went to herhouse. And I secretly knewmom would neverapprove.
Now? I was sogoddamned happy I’dwaited.
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22
MINKA
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Owen insisted on pickingme up, so here I am, in
his passenger seat rubbingmy sweaty hands downthe black lace circle skateI’d bought specifically fortonight’s dinner.
I’d been fidgeting thewhole car ride, something Ithink Owen noticed afterthe sixth or so pass down
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my skirt, because hereaches across the consoleand tugs my hand into hislap.
“Will you calm down?They are going to loveyou.”
His smile does nothingto calm my nerves. I amnaturally jumpy aroundjust him, now adding his
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family and the pressure ofthat into the mix? I wasbound to become catatonicby the end of the night.
Not to mention that Iwas now his girlfriend.And he was my boyfriend.For someone who hadnever had an officialboyfriend, I was unusuallycalm. Not that I had ever
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anticipated this was wherewe would end up. Butwhen Owen asked me tobe his, it just felt natural.I’d never felt this sort ofrightness that had settledinto my soul in the last 24hours.
After we’d had thatround of mind blowing,world shattering sex in my
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bed, in my bed (I’d never beable to sleep the same in itagain), he’d cuddled upwith me on the couch andwatched episodes ofHouse Hunters while weate ice cream. The wholething was so domestic thatI felt my inner future-housewife heart melting atthe cuteness.
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I had never been thisperson. I usually attackedany man who came within20 feet of me. I shieldedmyself with my bitcharmor. But Owen hadbroken through and peeledaway the pieces, worminghis way into my heart andlodging there.
And surprisingly, I
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didn’t want to dig him out.Ever.
I’d paired the mid-length black lace skirt witha fancier white satin t-shirtblouse, pearl studs andsparkly gold flats. I’dtaken the time to smoothout my curls with thestraightener I owned, andtook extra care with my
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makeup, lengthening myeyelashes and making suremy lips were a prettyshade of maroon. The colormatched my skin well.
We drive up to a largewrought iron gate, andOwen stops the car topunch in a code on thekeypad. They swing openslowly, and he pushes the
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car through. The drivewaywinds up and up, until wecoast onto a plateau andthe house comes into view.
“Wow.” I hadn’t meantto say that out loud, butthe Axel’s house…damn.I’d seen some great houses,what with the millionairekids I went to school with.But this was something
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altogether.You had to call Owen’s
house a compound, therewas no other word todescribe it.
Just from the drivewayalone I could see theginormous main house,with its tuscan feel andsloping roofs coveringbeautiful wrought iron
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balconies. Next to that, onthe sloping lawn, I couldsee tennis courts to the left,flanked by what I couldonly guess was a state ofthe art pitching/battingcage.
On the other side of thehouse, connected by whatlooked like a thin hallway,was a five-car garage.
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“Its obnoxious, right?”Owen sighs.
“Actually, I think thedesign is beautiful.” Hiseyes crinkle happily at myassessment.
It was then that Irealized he might be just asnervous as I was. “I’mreally happy to be herewith you.” I squeeze his
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hand and see his tenseshoulders relax.
The car circled thedrive, and then stopped,my door parallel to thegiant wooden doubledoors. I stared at them, abit frightened to move buta bit aware that I’d lookweird if I stayed strappedinto the car. I felt Owen
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squeeze my hand one lasttime. “Now or never.” Hesmiles at me.
This was a huge step,but I was ready.
I unbuckle as he swingshis own door open,running around to my sideto help me out of the hightruck. He was probablyhoping I’d flash him or
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something.Not that I didn’t want
to shed my clothes withhim right now. He lookedso sexy tonight.
His shimmering brownlocks were slicked back inthat way that made himlook like a Europeanmodel, his face a darkshade of brown from all
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the time he’d beenspending outside lately.
Blue khaki slacksstretched around hismuscular thighs, andperfect ass, and he’dtucked an off-white golfpolo into them. Owen hadcompleted his outfit withthose preppy summerloafers all the guys around
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here wore.He looked good
enough to eat.Taking my hand
securely in his, he laces ourfingers until my palmmolds into his big,calloused hand. I take adeep breathe, preparingfor what, I don’t know.
He leads us up the
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steps, winks once, andpushes open thebeautifully crafted frontdoor.
I step into the biggestfoyer I’ve ever seen. Andits decked out in allmarble.
I’m renderedspeechless for a second.After seeing Owen’s beach
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house, I shouldn’t be thatsurprised, but his realhome was a work of art.Seriously, this was like amuseum.
The ceilings sloped anddipped so that the entireopen concept first floor justfelt larger than life. Thecolor scheme was muchlike the beach house,
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neutral and chic, but thiswas obviously a classierdesign. Mirror surfacedreflected the perfect lightfixtures strung about, freshflowers sat in extremelyexpensive looking vases,and everything about hishome screamed class andmoney.
I had never felt more
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out of sorts in my life.My nose is hit with a
spicy, delicious smell, andOwen tugs me wordlesslytoward what I can onlyassume is the kitchen asthe smell grows stronger.He shrugs and laughsquietly, seeing the look ofshock on my face.
I smack his shoulder. “I
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mean, I knew you wererich, but really?”
“I told you before, myparents are rich.” hewhispers, swatting mybutt since I’d stoppedwalking.
Cresting the small setof steps in front of us, weend up in the kitchen,which is, of course, fit for a
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restaurant staff of twenty.At the stove stands the
most gorgeous woman I’veever seen. And I don’tmean that she wasprobably the mostgorgeous, she actuallywas.
"Caro! Oh my gosh, Iam so excited that you areboth here! You must be
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Minka!"This woman, who I can
only assume is Owen'smother, although I don'tknow how since she looksmore youthful than me,bounds over gracefully.She wraps her armsaround me, and I'moverwhelmed by theunexpected hug. But it's
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oddly nice, being in amother's embrace, even ifits not my own.
She holds me back atarms length. "Caro, youdidn't tell me howbeautiful she was. You're avery lucky man to havethis gorgeous girl willingto put up with you."
I laugh at her chiding
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of Owen. "Yeah…caro, isit? Not singing my praises,huh?"
His mother's eyestwinkle. "And she's funnytoo. Caro means my dear.Portuguese is my firstlanguage."
Owen gives a half-hearted sigh, faking hisannoyance. "Minka, this is
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my mother, Raquel. Andyes, mama, she is verybeautiful. But her smartmouth gets the best of herat times." He winks at me,a wolfish grin on his face.My stomach flutters andits totally not nerves fromthis dinner any longer.
"Carllll!" She yells,turning away to pop
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something in the oven. Is itbad that I'm surprised sheis cooking? If I lived in ahouse like this I wouldn'teven bathe myself. I'd hiresomeone to do it.
"What's for dinner,ma?" Owen wanders over,popping something thatlooks like a pastry in hismouth.
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"Hey!" She swats athim. "No dessert beforedinner. We'rehaving Moqueca."
"Yes!" I glance at Owen,a question in my eye. "Fishstew, it's kind of likeBrazilian jambalaya . Butwith coconut milk andspices. You'll love it,mom's recipe is bangin’.”
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Movement out of thecorner of my eye catchesmy attention, and I turnedaround. My breath catchesin my throat.
Standing in front of meis an older version ofOwen. Damn. Owen isgoing to be just as sexywhen he is older.
"Minka, this is my dad,
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Carl." Owen cuts thetension.
"Hi." Its all I could say.Owen's dad is seriouslyhot.
"Nice to meet you.Finally nice to see howOwen's been spending allof his time..."
"Dad." Owen snaps,raring for a fight. I see
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their talk hadn't quite setin yet.
"Don't worry son, justexpressing myappreciation that thisyoung lady has beenkeeping you out of troublethis summer." He directs atme, "His baseball hasreally improved since youcame along."
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Owen shakes his head,but at least he’s smiling.
I have never been inthe presence of three moregood looking people in mylife. No amount of newclothes had prepared mefor this. I didn't fit intoOwen's life. If I hadn't feltit before, I certainly didnow. It was like a mortal
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standing next to Zeus andhis family.
"Sit, sit, let's eat in thekitchen. We don't have tobe so fancy, I want to get toknow you, Minka."
Raquel ushered us allaway from the largekitchen area and over tothe breakfast nook. Whichwas ten times fancier than
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any room in my house. Sothere was that.
Taking a seat next toOwen and across fromCarl, I placed my sweatyhands in my lap. I'd neverhad a boyfriend, much lessmet his parents. Or wentover anyone's house fordinner except my friends.
"So Minka, senior year,
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right? Big times ahead!What do you think youwant to do after highschool?" Raquel studies mewarmly, waiting for myanswer. She was so nice.I'd always assumedbeautiful people had icewhere their hearts weresupposed to be. Or maybethat was only Allison
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Renner and her band ofgroupies.
"Yep. I plan to go tocollege. I want to become anurse." Owen squeezes myhand under the table,filling me with a bit morecourage.
"That's wonderful! Ialways thought medicinewould be such an
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interesting profession. Me,I was only able to becomea dumb model." She flicksher beautiful mane of hairover her shoulder. I'dbecome a model too if Ilooked like that.
"Mom, don't putyourself down like that.You were one of the best inthe world."
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"Ah yes, caro, but Ionly mean that whatMinka wants to do isadmirable. Only the bestpeople in life sacrifice theirtime and energy to helpothers."
She smiles at meknowingly, and I can’thelp the wave of happinessthat floods my chest. His
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mother has only knownme a few minutes and yetit feels like we’ve beenhere for hours. She knowshow to make someone feelwelcome, and appreciated.I think I fell in love withher at that moment.
Raquel got up to takethe food out and serve itinto bowls, and a semi-
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awkward silence settledover the table. Now I sawwhy Carl was with Raquel.She lit up the room, couldhold any conversation,make anyone feelwelcome. She was hisOwen.
"So...uh, Minka, wheredo you think you'll lookfor school?"
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I feel my cheeks pink atCarl's question.
"Well..." I cough,unable to hide the comingembarrassment. "I actuallyhave loved Grover since Itook a tour there lastsummer. And the five-yearnursing program isamazing."
Owen's head snaps
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around to look at me, abright smile on his face. Helooks like he wants to hugme and tease me all at thesame time.
"Really?" Carl says atthe exact same time Raquelyells over, "Howwonderful!"
"We do have a greatbiology program...and
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several other stellar sellingpoints..." That wolfishsmile is back on Owen'sface.
My face turns beet red."Oh lay off the poor
girl, caro. You'reembarrassing her." Raquelswats at his head as shesets the last bowl down infront of her husband and
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slides into her seat.The meal looks
delicious. Besides the fishstew, she'd prepared asummer salad and thesebread and cheese ballsOwen called Pão de queijo.And then proceeded tostuff five in his mouth.
Taking my first hesitantbite, the spicy flavors melt
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onto my tongue. "Oh mygod." I spoon anotherspoonful into my mouth."This is the best thing I'veever tasted."
They all laugh joviallyat me.
"My wife's cooking issecond to none." Carlheaves spoonfuls of stewinto his mouth. I don't
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think Owen had come upfor air since she set thefood out.
We made small talk aswe ate, if Owen waslooking forward to goingback to school, where Carland Raquel were thinkingabout traveling. I learnedthat they had properties inItaly, Greece, Africa, and
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of course Brazil.From the outside, their
life looked like a fairytale.But I preferred the viewright here from the kitchentable, where I knew theflaws and imperfectionsunder the surface. It wasmore special that way.
I thought for thezillionth time how badly
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I'd misjudged Owen.After dessert, Raquel
insisted we sit out on theback deck and watch thefireflies. She even offeredme some wine after themen had gone out to set upthe cushions on the patiofurniture.
“I’m not legal Mrs.Axel…”
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“Oh none of thisnonsense, Mrs. Axel.Please call me Raquel. Ormama.” She winked,looking so much like hercharming son. “In mycountry, we don’t treatyoung adults like babies.Not like here. Under myroof, you are legal.”
Still not knowing how
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to respond, I shuffle myfeet.
“It must have beentough to grow up withoutyour mother.”
I snap my eyes to her’s,shocked that she knowssuch a personal fact aboutme.
“Did Owen…?”“No, sweet girl, no. We
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motherless recognize it ineach other.” She smilessadly, conspiratorially.
“You lost yourmother?”
“When I was nine yearsold. I always wonderedwhat would be worse;losing her after herknowing her so long, ornever getting to know her.
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Its a shit draw anyway youget it, though.”
I nod, suddenlyovercome with sadness.
“Ay, I don’t say this tomake you sad. I just wantyou to know, you canalways talk to me.Especially if that boneheadout there screws up!” Shesmiles, clearly trying to
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cheer me up. “We arefriends now. In eachother’s life. And I have afeeling we will be seeing alot of each other.”
Glancing out to theporch where Owen isactually laughing in thepresence of his father,while they sling cushionson the chairs together, I
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have a feeling she’s right.Not only was I in too
deep now with Owen, buthis family was pulling atmy heartstrings too.
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23
MINKA
"
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Who the fuck knew thatwhen we first got
invited to a college party, itwould be through Minka.If you'd told me that a yearago, hell, three monthsago, I'd have cracked up."Kels is examining her nailsin the backseat.
"Thanks for the vote ofconfidence, bitch." I direct
"
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Chlo to take a left at thelight as we enteredcampus. Thank you,Google Maps.
"I didn't mean it likethat. I just didn't think in amillion years you wouldhave a boyfriend...I didn'tmean that like that either. Imean to say, boys aredicks. Who are only good
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for one thing. Dicks.""You should really just
close your mouth now."Chlo quips at her, pullingslowly through thewinding campus drive,flanked with rows ofbeautiful tall trees on eachside.
Grover University wasthe school to get into in
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Virginia. It was the schoolperiod for most Mitchumkids. Presidents, CEOs,celebrities and athletes hadgraced the hallowed hallsand gone on to pursue andachieve impossibledreams. It waspicturesque, everythingyou envisioned when youthought storybook college
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campus. The grass wasemerald green, dotted withhundred year old trees andbeautiful florallandscaping. The buildingslooked more like colonialcastles than places thathoused classrooms.
The Greek Life wasnotorious, Chloe's dream,not mine, and the entire
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campus sat on a stunning,turquoise lake, completewith an outer two-mile-long-ring that students ranaround. Not only did theirtheater and dance schoolfeed right into some of themost prestigious dancecompanies in the world,but their five-year nursingprogram was unrivaled.
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Chloe and I had beendreaming about attendingtogether for years. Weplanned to get together inthe next few weeks and fillout our applicationssimultaneously, hoping itwould give us double theluck.
"You both should reallysuck your drool back in
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before we hit thebleachers." Kels didn't planto go to college, never had.After high school, she washeaded for Zimbabwe. OrTunisia. Or wherever herheart desired and therewere animals in need. Butit didn't mean I couldn'thear the jealous tone as shescolded Chloe and I.
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I would feel the sameway if they were headedinto the future, together,without me.
"We love you, badass."I smack a kiss in herdirection, and hermegawatt smile returns.
Ever since Owen hadheard his school was mytop choice, he’d been
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nagging at me to come. Itonly took half a week forme to relent, agreeing tocome see his first pre-season game and spendthe night. I mostly camebecause I was obsessedwith Grover. Or because itmeant an adult-free nightaway with my hot-as-sinboyfriend. Either or.
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Chloe pulls up outsidethe athletic complex,parks, and we make ourway to the field. Mystomach starts to do littlesomersaults. This was thefirst time I'd actually seenOwen play, had actuallybeen invited. Sure, I hadsnuck to a couple of hishigh school games,
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admiring the variousmembers of the team. Orcowering when Chloe andKelsey catcalled them. ButI'd never been there inofficial girlfriend capacity.
I'd never beenanywhere in officialgirlfriend capacity, withanyone. This was new andexciting, and also a bit
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terrifying.I just hoped they won. I
didn’t know what Owenwas like after a loss. And Ididn’t want that to ruinour weekend.
Climbing the bleachers,I see that we are on theearly side, and we pick agreat spot right smack dabin the middle.
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"Mmm, I can't wait tosee Miles in those tightbaseball pants, its been toolong." Chlo is practicallylicking her chops. She ischomping at the bit to gethim alone at the partytonight.
I'm chomping at the bitto get Owen alone. Finallyout of Mitchum, on our
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own, in his college dormroom. Just thinking aboutit makes me tingle in theplaces only he knows howto ignite.
"Look at Minka's face.She is definitely thinkingabout someone else inthose tight pants." Kelswinks at me, and I feel awicked burn start to flood
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my cheeks.Ever since I'd confessed
that we'd had sex at thebeach, they were all overme for details. But I wasn'tlike them, I couldn't dothat thing where Idescribed my sex life in allits glorious and dirtydetail. At least not yet. Ididn't know if I ever could.
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Or if I'd want to. Whathappened between Owenand I in those intimatemoments was sacrosanct. Ididn't want to tell anyoneabout it for fear oftarnishing it.
"Shut up." I swat at herand fan my face as the firstof the Grover players runout onto the field. For the
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next fifteen minutes, wewatch them warm up,stretching this muscle orthat, practicing throwingand catching with one andother. I couldn't see Owenanywhere, but thenremembered he would bein the bullpen, warmingup his throwing arm withthe pitching coach.
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The bleachers begin tofill with the sounds of flip-flops echoing on themetallic benches. Aboutten minutes before thegame, I see Raquel andCarter take a seat with therest of the parents in thesection to the right of us. Idon’t know if I should godown and say hello.
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I watch as Raquelswivels her head,searching the crowd, andthen locks eyes with me.She waves emphatically,giving me a thumbs up. Iwave back, trying to mimicthat I'd talk to her after thegame.
"Who is that?" Chlonods in Raquel's direction.
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"Owen's mom." I shrug,feeling a burst ofhappiness inside. I wascool with my boyfriend'smom. This really wasn'tmy life.
"Are you kidding me?She looks like an exoticprincess." They both keptstaring at her, it was hardnot to.
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"Well, supermodel, butyes, she's insanelygorgeous."
My attention moved tothe field when theannouncer began rattlingoff the lineups, and theplayers ran out of theirrespective dugouts tostand on the base lines forthe National Anthem. Of
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course Owen, the pitcher,was last. When he ran out,I felt my mouth go dry.
He looked drop deadgorgeous on a bad day. Inuniform? I suddenlyneeded to go to therestroom and fan myselfsomewhere else.
He found me in thestands, flashing that
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devilish smile of his andtaking off his hat so thathis golden brown locksshimmer in the middaysun. Even though my handis over my heart for TheStar Spangled Banner, Ican't keep my eyes off him.My boyfriend.
It only gets worse whenhe takes the mound and I
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can see the muscled globesof his ass in those tightwhite baseball pants.Chloe was right.
Someone starts a "Let'sgo Tigers!" chant as Owenstarts to wave off the firstpitches his catchersuggests. It dies downwhen he becomes stockstill, winding up and
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hurling the ball in thedirection of home plate.
"Strike!" The batterdidn't even have time toswing before the thud ofthe ball against the leatherglove rings out into thestadium.
Owen shuts themdown with a 1-2-3 outing,and the team heads back
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into the dugout to suit upfor batting.
Owen is deeper into thelineup, I learn fromsomeone behind us, whileMiles bats cleanup. Thatmeans he is fourth in line,the position reserved forthe best hitter on the team.
As he steps to the plate,Chlo whistles loudly
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through her fingers. "Hit ahomer #22!"
Kels and I stare at her,shaking our heads at herenthusiasm.
"What? He'll learn tolove me." She smiles.
Miles swings at the firstpitch, getting a bit of it butsending it soaring upbehind him into foul
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territory. He shakes hishead, an intense, almostscary look on his face.Owen has told me abouthow bad his moods havebeen lately, but I'mdefinitely seeing itfirsthand here.
The other team'spitcher decides on aknuckle ball, even I know
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what that looks like, butchooses wrong. Milesswings, hitting the ballsquarely in the middle,sending it flying high pastthe infield and out over thescoreboard on the backwall for a home run. Hedrives in his twoteammates on base, androunds slowly for home
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with a scowl on his face. Somuch for being happy golucky Farris.
The game continues onat that pace for the nextfive or so innings. Owencontinues to dominate,only letting a handful ofhits but no runs slip pasthim. Miles racks his runcount up to four, nearing
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his single game record ofsix. Kels makes not one,but two trips to theconcession stand, once forhotdogs and the next forice cream. My best friend,the queen of food, whogains absolutely no weightand never works out. Ihate her.
Finally at the top of the
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seventh, Owen is takenout. He's done a mightyfine job, says someone elsebehind me, but the coachwants to rest his arm. Nosense in over-using himbefore the season evenstarts.
The Tigers wrap therest of the game up tidily,with Miles hitting three
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more home runs, toppinghis previous record. Heshould be smiling to themoon, but instead justnods at the praise he'sgetting from all sides andwalks to his car, drivingaway quickly. Funny, Ididn't see any of his familyapproach him.
I feel a set of big strong
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arms lift me up frombehind, and I giggle,ecstatic that Owen isfinally within arms lengthof me. Its pathetic, but I dofeel better the instant hetouches me. Even if Iwasn't in a particularly badmood to begin with.
"Put that pretty girldown, stop embarrassing
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her and come give yourmother a kiss." Raquel saysfrom somewhere over myshoulder. My feet areplanted back down on thegrass, and Owen wheelsme around. I get a glimpseof his perfectly tanned facebefore he swipes mymouth in a quick kiss.Then, turning to his
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mother, he plants a chastekiss on her cheek.
"Mom, you're makingme look bad!" He pretendsto whine. He shakes handswith his father, who tellshim he pitched a greatgame. Owen looksuncomfortable, I think hestill doesn't know what todo with this new-found
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praise.I make the round of
introductions between myfriends and Owen'sparents.
"You're ChloeTrabucco? I knew Irecognized you! I saw youdance The Nutcracker atlast year's Christmaspageant. Honey, you're
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spectacular!"Blushing, Chloe
answers. "Oh I didokay…”
"Excuse her, she doesn'trealize that God literallyput her on this earth todance ballet." I smile in herdirection, saving her fromherself. Chloe is nothing ifnot modest. She was
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always way too hard onherself when it came todance.
"Thanks for comingyou guys, you didn't haveto do that." Oweninterrupts us, clearlytrying to get his parentsout of here so we can goback to his house.
"Ay, caro, we get
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it...Parents are uncool andyou have a party to get to.We love you." His momgives him a knowingsmile, ruffling his hair abit.
We hug, and both of hisparents tell me how nice itwas to see me. I feelincluded, and its a bitaddicting.
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"Ride with me, babe.Chloe can follow, right?"
"Sureeee, just no roadhead, love birds. I don'tneed to see that." Kelslaughs as she skips to thecar.
"Ew, you're so sick." Ifeel my face heat.
"Not that I wouldn't beup for it—“Owen trails off
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when I give him the stinkeye.
I climb into his car, anddon't even get my buttfirmly planted in the seatwhen he yanks metowards him and sear mylips with a kiss. He doesn'tlet me up, and I don't wantto go anywhere. His teethnip at my lips, his tongue
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explores every crevice ofmy mouth.
"You don't know howfired up I was to know youwere watching in thestands..." He smashes hislips down onto mine again,fire scorching through myveins and lighting me up.Owen reaches for the hemof my shirt, something I'm
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more than ready to let himdo as we sit in the frontseat of his car in broaddaylight.
And then a horn startsto go off behind us.
Breaking the kiss,fighting for a normalbreath, I turn around to seeChlo and Kels fake makingout in their car.
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"Assholes" I mutter, butmake Owen button his seatbelt and reverse out of theparking lot.
The drive over to hishouse, which he shareswith Miles and two otherbaseball players, is short.Its located right off campusin a neighborhood thatscreams college party
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houses.We pull into the gravel
driveway, Chlo and Kelscoming to a loud stopbeside us. Pop music isblaring out of her BMW,causing the boys in thehouse to file out onto theraised front porch.
"What is that?" A grufflooking guy in nothing but
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a towel says, surveying usfrom above. Tattoos coverhis pale, muscled flesh.
"Hey guys, this isMinka. And her friends."Kels and Chlo don't evenbother saying anythingafter Owen does. They’retoo mesmerized by themirage of hot menstanding on the porch
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above us.Miles, still in his tight
white baseball pants, jerseynowhere in sight, lookspissed. "Turn that fuckingshit down. And whoinvited princess to stayhere? Hope your beamerdoesn't get too scratchedup at the party tonight."With that, he marches back
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into the house, slammingthe cheap looking frontdoor behind him.
Chlo looks hurt,especially since its Mileswho yelled at her. "Don'tworry about himsweetheart. I like that popshit just fine," The last guyon the porch looks morelike a linebacker than a
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baseball player. He ishuge, and not just in theheight arena. The beardthat covers his face wouldbe, if I had to guess, hisattempt to hide the fullerportion of his chin, and hisbelly pushes at the front ofhis shirt as he leans overthe railing to take a goodlook at us.
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"Come on up," Owenencourages us, scooping allthree of our bags fromChlo's trunk with nostruggle. My heart mayhave swooned a bit at that.
We walk into his house,and immediately wrinkleour noses.
"I know, I'm sorryabout the smell. The house
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hasn't really been aired outall summer, and four boyslive here so..."
I tune Owen out,something I usually neverdo, to take in the meagerhouse. Not that itsrundown, but it just looksexactly like he's said. Likefour guys live here. Thewalls are white, with no
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adornments but the oddbeer sign here or there, anda life size poster or two ofwhat I'm guessing are theirfavorite baseball players.Dishes crowd the sink, andI don't want to know ifthey're only from thisweekend, or have beenthere for months sinceschool ended.
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Liquor and beer casesline the counter, evidenceof the party about toensue. A large greysectional accented by twowood end tables and amatching coffee table arethe only furniture in theliving room, besides agigantic TV mounted tothe opposite wall. A large
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dining room table sits inthe open space betweenthe kitchen and the livingroom, stacked high withpapers and take-outmenus.
"So this is college. GladI'm not going..."Kels sayssarcastically.
The big burlylinebacker laughs. Its more
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of a boom.Owen introduces us to
him, Clint, and his otherroommate, Parker, who isgrumpily eating a bowl ofcereal at the dining roomtable.
"You two can take thefifth bedroom, I have anair mattress you can sleepon." Owen gestures them
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down the hall."Why do you have a
fifth bedroom?" Chlo asks."We were supposed to
have a new guy cominginto the team, coach askedus to include him. But henever showed up." Owenshrugs, nudging the dooropen with his shoulder.
"Good, as long as no
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one like, died in here." Kelssays, no hint of joking inher tone. Chlo and Iexchange a look ofridiculousness.
The room was like therest of the house, whitewalls, builder's modelnormal. At least it smelledok. He set their bags on thefloor.
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"Party starts in anhour."
Chlo makes a mad dashto her stuff. "An hour! Youbetter have outlets in here,Axel. A girl needs to doher hair!"
I giggle, but the soundis cut off when Owen picksme up and carries me outof the room. "Hey! I need
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to get ready too!""Get a room you two!"
Kels calls out."That's my plan!" Owen
shouts back. "You lookgood enough to eat, and noone needs to do that butme," he says quieter, foronly my ears.
I was going to protestmore, but the words eating
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and me come out of hismouth and my head goesstraight to the gutter.
He pushes open hisdoor, at the opposite endof the house, and the roomgoes by in a flash of lightas he deposits me on thebed.
The room is Owen,simple but clean. His
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mother's chic touch ismissing, but he still has amassive king bed thattakes up most of the room,with a matching dresserand TV stand. Hangingover his bed, framed, is hishigh school jersey.
He comes down on topof me, placing himself atthe apex of my thighs. I
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feel him, hard and pulsing,through his uniform, andeverything in me liquefies.
He pins his handsdown beside my head, Iam so aware of him that Ican practically feel thecoiling of his arm musclesas he gyrates against me.
I seek his tongue in hismouth, sucking on it and
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pulling it back to mine. Hishands tickle up myribcage, pushing the tanktop I have on high enoughso that he can slip onehand into the cup of mybra. Reaching down, I cuphis package through hispants, stroking my thumbup and down the rigidlength.
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"Hey guys, comewatch! Axel is giving a freeporn show in his room!"Clint’s sarcastic yellingsnaps me out of Owen'sseduction. I sit up quickly,almost smacking myforehead against his, andyank my top down. Owenbounds to door, slammingit shut and muttering
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"fucking dick," beforecoming back to sit besideme.
"Sorry, babe. Guys andall...."
"Its ok." I tenderlytouch his face. I wish wecould just spend tonightlocked in here. But Owenwants me on his arm as hisgirlfriend at a college
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party, and I can't pass upthat opportunity. I need tosee how things are goingto work. If they can work.Not that I'll be able to lethim go even if I know theycan't. "I'm going to getready with the girls. Goshower, you stink."
He sighs and flops onthe bed, his dick still
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painfully hard in his pants."You're a tease. I expectyou to repay this debtlater..."
"You can count on it." Ikiss him quick enough sothat he can't pull me backdown, and turn to leavethe room.
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A GLASS GOES FLYING acrossthe room, smashing andbreaking against the starkwhite wall, brown liquidsloshing down it in adripping pattern.
"Told you I could hitthe bullseye!" The drunkgirl stumbles a bit on hersky-high heels, wrappingher arms around her
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friends shoulders andnoisily kissing her cheeks.
"Bet you won'tmakeout..." A very drunk,and definitely high Farriseggs the two on, leeringover them at his epicheight.
The girls look at eachother, back at Miles, andthen dive tongues first into
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each other's faces. Farrisflashes a grin, tugging ontheir hands to lead themback to his room acrossfrom Owen's. Yuck.
Is this how collegeparties are?
I'm used to high schoolparties, where everyoneknows everyone, or knowsof everyone anyway. This
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is a whole differentballgame. Excuse theterrible metaphor.
The girls all stand inmile-high heels, teeteringin their little skirts anddresses. I overheard onegirl talking about how longit took her to put inextensions, and anotherfluttering her can’t-be-real
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lashes at the boy grindingon her butt to the beat ofthe music.
There was no way Icould compete with this. Ilooked better than normal,I thought, in my skinnywhite jeans and dark bluecrop top. Yes, Kels hasgotten me into one. I hadgold wedge sandals on
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that made me a few inchestaller. Owen had almostdragged me back to hisroom when he’d seen me.But now? I had no cluewhere he was.
My friends looked likethey had found Narnia.They were beyond wastedat this point, the clockabout to hit 10 p.m. They
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had been ruling on thepong table for a whilenow; for a ballerina and ahippie they hadsurprisingly perfectaccuracy.
I was nursing mysecond drink as I walkedover.
“MINKS!” Chloepractically hangs from my
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neck as she jumps on me. Ithink its supposed to be ahug.
“Hi love.” I pat herhead, laughing at herclearly intoxicated state.Someone yells for her totake her turn. Without somuch as a glance at thecups, she chucks the ballover her shoulder. And
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sinks it.“Ohhhh!” Her and Kels
yell simultaneously as theychest bumped like footballbros. My two best friends,the jocks.
“Where is lover boy?”Kels, a little less drunkthen Chlo eyes mesuspiciously.
“Miles has been
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ignoring me all night. Ithink he hooked up withsome skank!” Chloewhines. I wasn’t about tofess up that it might havebeen two skanks.
Kels rolls her eyes,sticking the straw of herdrink in her mouth. “Notyour lover boy, idiot.Owen.”
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“I don’t know…” I trailoff, swiveling my headaround the party like I’dbeen doing for the lasthour. I seriously had noidea where he was. “I’mgoing to go find him.”
Surveying the houseone last time, I know hewasn’t anywhere in here.Making my way to the
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back deck, I run into Clint.“Hey, Owen’s girl.” He
grins at my scowl. While Iliked being Owen’sgirlfriend, I had my ownidentity. “I know, Minka.Anyways…is your friend,the pretty, short one,single?”
Kelsey? I eye him. Shewould never, ever go for
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him. Not to say Kels wasshallow, but Parker wasdefinitely more her type. Ifshe ever considered guysfor more than sex. Whichshe didn’t.
“Kelsey, yeah she is.But that’s of her owndoing. Word of advice?Don’t try it. She doesn’t doboyfriends. Or boy friends
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for that matter.”He doesn’t look phased
by my words at all. “Yeah,thanks.”
Uh oh, I think I justadded fuel to his firerather than unlighting thatmatch. At least I’d warnedhim.
I walked to the railing,sipping my beer slowly as
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I peered over the yard. Icouldn’t bring myself todrink more. I wanted to befully aware for whateverOwen had planned for melater.
The lawn is riddledwith red cups, cigarettebutts and the same brandof scantily clad girlsclinging to beefed up jocks.
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I guess I can't call themthat anymore, since myboyfriend is one of thosejocks.
Yelling from a foldingtable on the lawn catchesmy attention, and when Iturn to see what the fuss isabout, I'm greeted by thesight of said boyfriend,enthusiastically hugging a
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blonde in the tightest mini-dress I've ever seen.
My heart plummetsinto my stomach and feelslike it might burn a wholethrough my abdomen. Itell myself to calm down,that it might just be afriendly game, but I can'tseem to push the knot ofemotion back down my
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throat.Frozen to the deck, I
watched for what seemslike an eternity. Owen isplaying flip cup, wedgedin between the blonde anda redhead with the biggestboobs I've ever seen. Theylook unnatural against hertiny waist, which thenleads me to wonder if they
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are, in fact, fake.I feel my pulse zipping
a mile a minute at myneck. Every time one ofthese girls places a handon Owen, his lower back,his shoulder, and leanstheir body into his, heaccepts it. He neverpolitely pushes them off.Between that and the way
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he's chugging beer andhigh-fiving his baseballbuddies, I've seen enough.
This isn't my world. Ifeel an errant tear driponto the hand, which hasgone ghostly white,clutching my beer bottle. Iknew from the start that Ididn't belong in his galaxy,let alone his college
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campus. He's everyone'sfavorite guy, that personthat would always standout while simultaneouslyfitting in, no matter wherehe was.
I was born to blend in.And I'd always preferred itlike that. Until he decidedto come into my life andfuck that all up.
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I thought he saw me,really saw me. Past all ofthe walls, and the hurt,and the bullshit, he hadmade it seem like hewanted me, the odd girlout. But maybe it was allfor the chase. Wasn't italways how these guyswere?
Trying to suck in deep
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calming breaths, Imanaged to get a hold onthe nausea working itsway up my throat. I stoleone last glance towards thelawn, Owen's bright smilelaughing at somethinggoing on inside the group.
I stumbled down theside steps, working myway to the front lawn.
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Where do I go now? I don'twant to stay in Owen'sroom, much less be here.
I could camp out in thefifth bedroom, but I fearedbeing trampled on by anoverly horny couplelooking for the closestroom.
So, I chucked my bottlein the yard and started
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walking.I wasn't familiar with
this street, but I'd paidattention on the drive andknew campus was onlyabout a block or two up.The night was warm, thehumid Virginia air clungto my skin as I walkedslowly along. Sticking myhands in my pockets and
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keeping alert for bumps inthe night, my mind driftedback to the house.
He hadn't looked forme in an hour. Tearspooled in the bottom of mysockets, my cheeksburning with the sting ofbeing ignored.
Did I care if he didn'tdo it on purpose? No. I
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knew he probably hadn'tmeant it, but it stung somuch more because hereally could just that easilyforget about me.
Mostly it stung becauseI didn't go a second of theday without him in myhead.
I'd fallen, deeply. It wasexactly the kind of thing
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I'd swore I'd never do.Especially with a guy likeOwen.
Just when I'd decidedto let myself shine, to stophiding in the humiliationof my past, that's whenhe'd decided to pounce. Inever even had a chance.There I was empoweringmyself, chanting the girl
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power mantra through myhead, and I'd let myself getcaught by the firsthandsome jock who'dsmiled my way.
I'm about to campusnow, and I know whereI'm headed at this point.The circle of benchessurrounding the Founder'sStatue.
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I've only ever been hereonce, on a campus tourwith Chlo last summer, butthat circle always seemedlike somewhere to sit andthink. A hub forknowledge. How collegeof me.
Campus is all but dead,for one its summer and fortwo, the only people who
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are here are four beersdeep and not stepping footon campus.
I revel in the silence,admiring the way thelights cast shadowsbetween the old brickbuildings. The air smellslike fresh grass, andfireflies light up the spacearound me.
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Just as I tilt my headback onto the bench, I hearflip flops slapping alongthe paved walkways.
I shoot up, suddenlyextremely aware that I'malone on a desertedcampus at night. But myheart stops beating when Isee who's running towardsme.
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Owen."Are you ok?" He's
shouting, his face isflushed, from what I can'ttell, the beer or therunning. "I had no ideawhere you were! Jesus,babe, don't walk off likethat. You scared thefucking shit out of me."
I sit back down,
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disappointed that hethinks he's being somekind of hero in finding me."Go back to your party,Owen."
"What?" He looksconfused as he nears,bending over feet fromwhere I sit to catch hisbreath.
"I said go back to your
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party. Blonde bombshelland big tits are probablymissing you by now."Okay, that sounded reallyhigh school, but in mydefense I'm still in highschool.
"What are you talkingabout? What's wrong withyou?" He eyes me, sweatyfrom his sprint over here.
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And damnit, it sucks howsexy he looks right now.
"You shouldn't havebrought me here.Especially if you weregoing to ignore me thewhole time." I let a bit ofmy anger slip away fromme, biting out myresponse.
"Ignoring you? I was
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with you the whole time..."He trails off, clearly
filling in the holes in hismemory. His face contortsfrom a confused grimace toone of sympathy andapology. "Baby I..."
"Go back to your party,Owen. I'm fine here." Idon't want to talk to him. Idon't want to look at him.
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I'm seconds away fromcrying unreasonably anddon't want him to see that.
"I didn't mean to,ignore you. I wasn'tignoring you, really...Ijust...shit, I'm sorry,Minka."
He places his hand onmy shoulder and I shrugaway from his touch.
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"You won't let metouch you? Really?" Owensits down next to me,dropping his head into hishands. "Tell me what youwant me to do? I'm sorry,babe."
I can feel my lipquivering, knowing tearswill spill the minute I openmy mouth. I feel dramatic,
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but know how much hisactions hurt me and usethat to fuel my answer.
"I told you about mypast. I told you how I'dbeen hurt. I was reallyexcited to come here withyou. And then I seethat....after you don't domore than kiss me andthen disappear for an hour.
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It hurt." My voice comesout unnaturally high andsqueaky, hoarse with theunshed tears I'm trying tokeep in my eyes.
Owen stands, runninghis hands through his hairviolently. "Fuck. I'm suchan idiot. I'm sorry babe, Ididn't think. I saw myfriends again, and got into
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the party and the game. Itsno excuse. There is noexcuse."
A sob escapes me. Idon't know why I'mbreaking down, but it feelslike I've been waiting forthis. The other shoe todrop.
"You're this perfectperson, everyone wants to
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include you. I have neverbeen that way. And I don'tmind it, being the outsider.But I thought you wantedto be on the outside withme too."
He kneeled in front ofme, the fireflies lighting uparound us, making his blueeyes sparkle.
"You're not on the
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outside. You're right whereyou are supposed to be.You can be wherever youwant. That's what I loveabout you. You don't needthose people's validation.And as we both sawtonight, apparently I stilldo. I'm an idiot, Minka. Ishould have never leftyour side. I don't even
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need those people there. Iwould be fine living in afour-by-four room withyou for the rest of my life.You're all I see. I'm sofucking sorry."
I sniffle, watching as healmost pulls his hair out bythe roots. I want to believehim, to move past thisstupid situation.
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"Tell me what willmake this better...I needyou to believe me. I am acocky, arrogant jock whoneeds people to worshiphim. I'm a self-obsessedasshole, I don't deserveyou. Anything, I'll sayanything."
His humor is whatbreaks me. Its what had
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gotten me from thebeginning. "Well, you areprobably right about thatlast one, you don't deserveme. But I guess I'm hereanyway—“ I trail off,wiping the corners of myeyes.
He stares at me, a deadserious expression on hisface. "You're right. I don't.
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I don't know how the hellits possible that I get you,but I thank my lucky starseveryday that you pickedme."
Tentatively, he reachesout, checking to see if I'llallow him to touch me.When I don't bite his handoff, he rests it on my cheek.Just that skin to skin
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contact has us bothsighing.
This, being with him, isgoing to destroy mesomeday. I know it. But Ican’t fight it even if I try.
I see his hair flop overinto one eye right beforehe presses his warm lips tomine. The kiss is achingand so sweetly-tender, it
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almost has me crying againat how heart-shattering itis.
"I don't know if Ipicked you as much as Icouldn't avoid fallingepically." I breath, stillnose to nose with Owen.
"Come back with me.Share my bed. I want toshow you all the ways I
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need to make it up to you."He takes my hand, and
I let him. Like a moth tothe flame, I'm totallyconscience of walking intothe fire.
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24
OWEN
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Irun my hand throughMinka's silky brown
hair, fanning the locksacross the pillow in theearly morning light thatcuts diagonal lines oforange into my sheets.And once again, I thankmy fucking lucky ass starsthat she chooses to be herewith me.
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I really fucked up withthe party at my campushouse. Like a totaljocktard, I assumed my girlwould be fine with lettingme wander off to doasinine shit with mybuddies until I decided togo to bed with her. I washigh off the win, pumpedabout the season and being
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back with boys, and Iforgot what it was like tobe in a relationship.
Scratch that, I'd neverbeen in a real relationshipbefore, one that wasn't justfor show.
I'd left her on her own,and I was so fuckingstupid and sorry for that.When I'd realized my
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mistake, it felt like I'd beenshot in the chest. I couldn'tget control of my heartbeator breathing, staring up ather hoping to God shewasn't about to end things.
I'd only known her twomonths, but in that timeshe'd imprinted herself onmy heart. She'd becomemy rock in the storm that
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was my life at times. Ineeded her. Way morethan she'd ever need me.
That's why I'd beenmaking it up to her for thepast two weeks.
Lucky for me, momand dad decided on a lastminute trip to our house inSicily, leaving the housevirtually empty for the
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month.I'd had Minka naked
and under me for about aweek and a half, trying toatone for my sins.
I was proving myselfthe way I knew how. Inorgasms, food and moviemarathons. We'd spent thelast 10 days locked in myhouse, only venturing out
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for takeout food and theodd change of clothes forMinka.
Since August hit, herpre-college courses wereover, and she told theChief she'd be with Chloea lot the next few weeks.So far he hadn't askedwhere she was. And I wasshaking in my boots,
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waiting for that man tocome to my door with hisgun.
I knew I had fucked upat Grover, and badly. I stillsaw the apprehension inher eyes, whether it was inbetween a Netflix episodeor over dinner. Anytimethat happened, I kissedher.
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Not that I also hadn'tverbally apologized. Manytimes. I'd said sorry moretimes than I could count.Because I truly was.
Minka stirs in my arms,he lashes fluttering at theside of my neck. I have herpulled into my chest, soclose I can feel the heatcoming off of her amazing
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breasts.I can't help but skim
my hand over the arch ofher smooth back, cuppingher perfect ass cheek whenmy hand makes it there.
I've spent the past twoweeks worshiping herbody. Studying herresponses.
I’ve learned that when I
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press my lips to thatcertain spot on the insideof her thigh, she convulses,like her body can’t take theintense sensation.
And when I whisperdirty words into her earsas I stroke gently into her,her entire body blushes.My shy girl. But I also feelher soak my cock, my way
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of knowing just how muchthat turns her on.
Or that when I kiss herso thoroughly andcompletely, our lipsmolding into one andothers, I can feel my heartescaping from my chest togo join hers. Because sheowns it now.
I didn't want to wait
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any longer for her to wakeup. Even though we'dbeen up until the earlyhours of the morning, andit was still only eighto'clock, I want her again.
Pulling her closer, Igrind my dick against herbare stomach and light upher neck with warm, wetopen-mouthed kisses.
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"Ughhh," she groans."Good morning
beautiful." I smile into herneck.
"Go back to bed. You'rea sex fiend..."she sighs, notdoing a thing to moveaway from myministrations.
I’ve been meaning toask her about an idea I'd
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been having. I know it willhelp clean up my mistakeat Grover. Minka loves topretend she’s a hard, ball-busting woman, but Iknew better. She’s aromantic at heart. Thiswould clear my name.
"So I've beenthinking..." I get down toher eye level. "I want to
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take you to the fair nextweek."
Her closed eyes flyopen suddenly, warmthand admiration flowingout of them. "You wantto...take me...to theFreeboro Fair?"
"Yes." I smile, knowingthis would be her reaction.
The Freeboro Fair was
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the end of summer festivalheld by the county.Growing up, it was theplace to take yourgirlfriend or boyfriend, toshow off your relationship.I knew it was probably acorny date idea, but it wasromantic if nothing else.
"So, you'll be my date?To the carnival?" She tries
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to clarify."No, I'm going to be
your fair slave, you candrag me around on aleash..." I break off whenshe flicks my abs. "Yes, Iwant to take you, MinkaBraxton, my gorgeousgirlfriend, to the fair."
"Ok." She breathes,smiling shyly and
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blushing. It was getting meharder.
"Good. Now let's talkabout the date I want tohave right now." I flip herover, slithering down herbody while we smile ateach other.
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25
MINKA
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Owen runs around to myside of the car,
exaggerating as he opensmy door and sweeps hishand out to the side like acar model. I roll my eyesbut take his outstretchedhand, all the while littlebutterflies exploding ontothe side of my stomachlining.
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“Your wish is mycommand, my queen.” Hebows before taking myhand, lacing his fingersthrough mine.
“This won’t be half asmuch fun if you’reembarrassing me. You’resupposed to be mycarnival slave for thenight.” I pout and swat at
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him, but can’t help thehuge grin blooming acrossmy face.
“Baby, I’ll be your slaveany night of the week.” Hewinks good-naturedly, butI can see the obvious heatin his eyes. “Although,being a carni might beweirdly kinky...”
“I’m going to vomit.”
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From behind us, I hearFarris grumbling.
I’d suggested a doubledate of sorts and hadasked Chloe to come. Shehadn’t been able to breakthrough Miles’ newlytough exterior yet, andOwen seemed genuinelyworried about his friend.
Miles had been in a
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major slump after thebreakup, and it seemedthat slump wouldcontinue. The back seathad been completely silentalmost the entire ride over,and it wasn’t for Chloe’slack of trying. Mileswouldn’t even look at her,much less indulge her inany kind of conversation. I
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felt kind of bad forstrapping Chlo with thegrump all night, especiallysince I knew how she feltabout him.
But I’d sacrificed muchmore for her in the past.Plus, this was my night tolive out the original highschool fantasy. Owen Axel,my boyfriend, was taking
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me to the Freeboro Fair.Freeboro County
housed Mitchum and fourother towns, and everyyear in late August theygot together to throw a bigcarnival smack dab in themiddle of the town lines.The fair had gotten morepopular in our minds aswe’d grown up; starting in
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middle school, if you had aboyfriend, you’d come tothe fair together to showoff, ride the ferris wheel,and generally just be “inlove.”
I knew it was a dumbtradition, but I’d never hadsomeone take me to thefair. Much less someone Iloved. Although I hadn’t
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told Owen I loved him yet.Even though I’d come sofar from where I had beenat the beginning of thesummer, really where Ihad been for the past twoyears, I couldn’t take thatlast leap.
Saying I loved himscared the crap of out me.What if he didn’t say it
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back?Sure, my head was
getting away from me.Amped up, clichedexpectations about my firstboyfriend-girlfriendexperience at the fair weremaking me turn into Chlo,my hopeless romantic bestfriend.
“Ok , so what should
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we do first?” Chlo wastrying even harder thanusual to be peppy, and Icringed inside at howawful this night wasprobably going to be forher.
“Who cares? This islame, can we go now?”Miles grumbles, kickingdirt around with his shoe.
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Epic cringe.“No way man, we are
escorting these twobeautiful ladies around thefair! Now kick your sorryass into gear and ask yourlady if she wants to take awhirl on the ferris wheel.”Owen massages Miles’shoulders as if he was aboxer, getting ready to go
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into battle. Chlo shot me adeath look.
“That sounds like agreat idea!” I burst, waytoo enthusiastically, tryingto cajole all of the partymembers involved. Chlojust rolls her eyes at me,but both she and Milesrelent.
As we make our way
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over to the line at thebottom of the big turningwheel, Owen slings hisarms around myshoulders. It was a moveI’d seen a hundred timesfrom a hundred couples,but I’d never truly knownwhat it meant to be athome in another person’sarms until him.
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And the fact that heand I were together, at theFreeboro Fair? My heartwas nearly exploding. Thepast couple of months justdidn’t feel like my life. I’dlost all confidence inmyself sophomore year,and Owen had been theone to restore it. He’dshown me the way, and
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also showed me that noteverything is as it seems.
While three years ago Iwould have laughed inyour face and told you tofuck off if you told me I’dbe dating Owen, I’dcompletely misjudged him.
We squished into thetwo-seater, which was noteasy when you have a 200
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pound demi-god next toyou, and belted ourselvesin, with Chloe and Milestaking to seat behind us.As the car begins to climb,Owen wraps me in hisarms, whispering in myear.
“You look so beautifultonight, you know that?” Iblush at his unexpected
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words. Of course Owenwas a charmer, but I thinkhe knew what tonightmeant to me. Ever sinceour weekend at Grover, hewas trying extra hard tobestow all kinds ofconfidence andcompliments on me.
His whole supportmission had really started
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when I’d confessed mysophomore year scandal atthe beach though. Ok, so Ihadn’t explicitly told himabout Gregory, but I knewhe understood. Youcouldn’t live in this townand not have heard aboutwhat had gone down mysophomore year.
“I could get used to this
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slave thing.” I rib him, notwanting to take thecompliment.
“Hey, don’t do that.”He says seriously. How heknew me already, what Ithought, how I felt, I’dnever know. “You areamazing. Don’t shy awayfrom me.” I lean into himand kiss him gently, a
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wordless thank you. “I amthe luckiest guy alive rightnow. Its a great night, I’mon top of this rickety pieceof shit ride with the mostamazing girl on earth, andlater, I get ice cream.”
I laugh at hisassessment of whatconstituted lucky, he wasseriously a child trapped
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in a grown man’s body. Aseriously fine grown man.But I can’t deny that I feelinsanely lucky in thismoment too. “And maybe,if you’re even luckier,you’ll have another sweettreat when you take mehome.”
I don’t know what hadcome over me. He made
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me crave his touch, hislook. Yep, that look, theone he was pinning mewith intensely right now.
Looking over, I can seehis wide, mischievoussmile under the moonlight.Suddenly, we stopmoving, suspended in airthree cars from the top.The car swings lightly, just
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enough to put me on edge.But my heart pounding inits cage for an entirelydifferent reason puts meon edge even more.
Owen turns to me, putsa hand on my face andlooks me in the eyes. Hestays like this for a beat,and then another. In thedistance, I can hear the
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tinkling music of thecarousel. My hands aresweating in my lap, I’mtrying to stay still, capturethis moment and burn itonto my brain for eternity.This is it....
And then he angles hishead, swoops down, andkisses me.
His mouth melds with
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mine, his tongue dancingpast my teeth and tanglingin an exotic rhythm withmy own.
Don’t get me wrong, itwas a great kiss. Afantastic kiss. A kiss thatmelted my heart and mademy ears ring. But it wasn’tthose three little words. Idon’t know why I’d
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expected them tonight,we’d only been seeing eachother for a little less thanthree months.
I guess I thought hecould feel the same insane,soul-binding connection Idid. That when he lookedat me, we had the sharedknowledge that we wereput on this earth, in this
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god forsaken southernhellhole, to find each other.
Why was I twistingmyself up over this? Wehad plenty of time toexplore our relationship.
Except we didn’t.Owen went back to schoolin two days. We hadn’tdiscussed the specifics ofwhat would happen
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between us. I waspanicking. Ever since theparty debacle, I needed aconfirmation, whether itwas those three littlewords or just a verbalcommitment that he wasmine for always, no matterhow far apart we were.
Our ride comes to anend shortly after, and we
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fulfill all of the other clichethings on the “teenagers goto the fair” list.
Chloe wanted to dobumper cars, which wasactually one of the onlythings Miles seemed totake pleasure in. I think itwas because he got to raminto people at high speeds.
Owen insisted on
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showing off his “madbasketball skills” for usand ended up winning mea little stuffed bear. BeforeI could drag everyone overto the cotton candy booth,Farris disappeared to godknew where. Poor Chlo.
“Its a fair ritual and Iwill not leave here beforemy stomach is filled with
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pink sparkly fluff.” I whineas Owen protests mychoice of dessert.
“Cotton candy isliterally pretty air. There isno substance. Wouldn’tyou rather have somethinggood, like funnel cake?”He puts his best puppydog face on, but I’m notbudging.
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“YO! Axel, what’s goodman?!”
That voice.I turn, knowing that
when I do, the world willbottom out.
Keep it together, it can’tbe him. You can’tremember his voice.
But then I see Owenhug him. Gregory. Right
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there, embracing myboyfriend in front of me.
It feels like I amsimultaneously beingpunched in the stomachand stabbed in the heart.My fingers stop working.My senses go haywire, myvocal chords all but freezeup.
They were standing
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two feet in front of me,chumming it up like oldbuddies.
“...want to introduceyou to my girlfriend. Hey,babe...come here, I wantyou to meet someone.” Hemotions towards me,waving with a giant grinon his face.
Chloe stands there, a
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somber, fearful expressionon her face, waiting for mycue. Were we bolting,playing it cool? Did I needanything?
Only a time machine totake me away from thismoment.
Gregory turns his headtowards me, away fromthe conversation he’s
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having with Owen. Themoment his eyes lock ontomine, he stares in disbelieffor just a moment. Then,the jerk has the nerve tolook over my head, as ifOwen wasn’t talking aboutme.
I can’t move. Chloe islooking at me, Owenholding out his hand, and
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all I could do was stareinto the venomous eyes ofthe boy who had shatteredmy world three years ago.
When Gregory finallyrealizes I must be thegirlfriend Owen isreferring to, he leers at me.Gregory openly assessesmy body, his beady littleeyes roaming over my
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curves. I involuntarilycringe at the memory ofhis hands on me, and coldsweat begins to tricklebetween my breasts anddown my neck. I thought Imight bend over and spillthe contents of mystomach into over the dirt.
“Babe?” Owen’s voicebreaks me out of my terror
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coma.“I want to go home.” I
declare, standing stoicallyin my place, not havingmoved any closer towardtheir conversation.
“What? Come meet myfriend Greg,” he looks atme, annoyance marring hisaqua eyes.
He was annoyed with
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me? I’d told him mydeepest, darkest, mostpersonal secret. I hadshared my shame withhim, and he stood there,bro-pounding the assholewho’d stolen my virginity?Taken it from me underfalse pretenses only tothrow it back in my face.
“I want to go home.”
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My brain isn’t working fastenough. It was the onlycoherent thought I couldvoice.
“Minka, what? Comehere, and then I’ll take youhome.” He moves closer towhere I am rooted into theground. “You’re beingkind of rude, this isn’t likeyou…” he whispers for
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only my ears.His words feel like a
slap, so much that I flinchbackwards. Owen catchesmy arm, yanking me backtowards him before I havethe chance to trip overmyself and land in themud. He looks at me likeI’ve come down with theplague. “What is wrong,
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babe?”He really isn’t
comprehending why mysenses are shutting down?Why I can’t stand tobreathe the same air as thiscreep. Unable to bear thesight of what wastranspiring anymore, Iturn on my heel and beginto walk off, not stopping
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when I hear Owen start tocall my name.
I feel an arm snakearound my waist, and leanin as I feel Chloe start tosupport my weight whilewe increase our pace. Sheknows, without me evenneeding to say it, that Ineeded to be as far awayfrom him as possible.
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“Just breathe, I’mgetting you out of here.”Chloe instructs, punchingthe keypad on her phone.
It feel like everybreathe I take in is searingmy lungs, flaying me openfrom the inside out. I wasshaking so violently that Ialmost couldn’t walk.
Finally we hit the
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parking lot with Owen hoton our heels.
“Are you ok?! What thehell was that, Minka? Doyou need to go to thehospital?” He looksbewildered, and mad.
After I’d disclosedeverything about my past,after we’d had sex, Ithought he would have
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understood. I thought hewould have known abouteverything that wentdown. But apparently hewas more trapped in hispopular bubble than I hadoriginally thought. Hehadn’t been paying anyattention to me when wewere in school together.How had I ever expected
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him to understand thegravity of what wentdown?
Pulling him away fromwhere Chlo would hear us,I knew I needed to tell himthe whole truth. My voiceshaking, and tears poolingin my eyes, I forged on.
“Remember how I toldyou about my past when
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we were at the beach?About the bet and howawful high school has beenfor me? I told you that itwas a certain guy who hadled me on.” I look down atmy fingers, pulling at themto avoid spilling the truth.I didn’t want to say hisname. The whole thingwas just too painful for me
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to even talk about, letalone remember.
“Yeah, I remember.And I told you I didn’tcare about any of that.That you’re beautiful andsmart and you shouldn’tlet what idiotic thingsother people choose to door say affect you.”
It was so easy for him
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to take that mentality.“I know that. But…..the
guy.” I stall, twisting myfingers and biting down sohard on my lip that Ithought I might drawblood. “It was Gregory.”
Owen looks honestlystunned. Questions fill hiseyes, and I know he wasthinking it over in his
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head, rolling the ideaaround like a marble,trying to place the eventsI’d described to him ontohis friend.
“No, it couldn’t be,Greg is a great guy.”
My stomach drops tomy feet. My throat goesdry and it feels like he’sslapped all of the air out of
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me. He thought I waslying?
“You don’t believeme?” I can hear the unshedtears clogging mywhispered question.
“I just…Babe I’veknown Greg forever. Ireally think you’remistaken. He’s anawesome dude, he
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wouldn’t do somethinglike that. Maybe you didn’tget the entire story…”
My head is spinningand I can’t feel my limbs. Ican only tell that I’mcrying from the wetnessspilling from my cheeksand chin onto my collarbone as I stand theremotionless.
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And there it was, clearas day. The blatantdifference between us. Hewas in, and I was out. Hewould always put hischerished people, thepopular crowd, over me.That’s how this alwaysworked. Their word wasstronger than mine. Therewas no use fighting the
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inevitable.“I have to go home.” I
glance around, looking forChloe. I see Kelsey’s greenJeep pull up and knowChloe has called her. Icould kiss them for beingso great if I didn’t feel likemy heart had just beencarved out of my chest. Iwill my numb feet to move
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towards them and awayfrom Owen.
“Hey, wait a minute! Ican take you. Minka, whatthe fuck?!” Owen grabs myarm, looking incredulous,as if he hadn’t just rippedmy heart from its cavityand stomped on it. Its hardto even look at him. Iwanted to tell him that I
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loved him. How the hellhad I ended up here again?I’d overlooked all of thewarning signs, the bellsand whistles telling me Iwas walking into a trap. Ihad to get out of there.
Facing him, I deliverthe blow that I know willwreck and preserve me allat once. “Owen, we
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shouldn’t see each otheranymore. Please don’t callme.” I hope he can hear therobotic sentences comingfrom my mouth. I’m suremy octave is even reachinga hair breadth over awhisper. I was trying sohard to force the syllablespast the lump in my throat.Big salty tears leak from
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my eyes as Chloe grabs mywaist, supporting me onceagain over to the car.
“MINKA! What areyou doing? Can we talkabout this? What the hell ishappening…..” I seeOwen’s pleading eyesboring holes into me asChloe loads me into thecar. He plunges his hands
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into his hair out offrustration and movesangrily towards the car.
Pulling at the nowlocked door, he shouts atthe side of my face throughthe glass, “Minka! You’reseriously mad about metalking to Greg? You havegot to be wrong! Come outhere and talk to me, god
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damnit.” He pulls a fewmore times at the lockeddoor handle and poundshis fist into the window.
I strain my body andwill it to keep facingforward. I can’t look at himor I will dissolve into apuddle of tears. My bodyfeels like it's being suckedinto the earth; my ears are
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filled with a whooshingsound and my stomachand heart keep doing thatdipping thing like I’m on aroller coaster. I’m notshocked to find I might besick in the back of Kelsey’scar.
I feel the engine of herJeep come to life under mybody, and know that this is
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the last time I will seeOwen if I can help it. Asshe slowly pulls out of thegravel parking lot, I turnmy body to glimpse himone last time.
Out the back window,he’s jogging now to keepup with Kelsey, who islaying her foot on the gas. Isee his mouth shouting my
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name as he runs faster,waving his arms inexasperated movements.Tears leak down my face. Ishould have never gotteninvolved with him. Ishould have kept my wallsup.
The farther we get, themore he slows down, untilI watch him stop dead. I
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can just make out thepained expression hewears, and I feel the samehurt marring my ownfeatures.
I watch Owen for aslong as I can make himout, until he disappears inthe cloud of dust the tireskick up in their wake.
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26
MINKA
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Its funny. Well it isn’tactually funny. But in a
way it is.Its funny how history
has a way of repeatingitself.
I’d told myself fromday one of meeting Owenthat I wouldn’t give in.Then I told myself I couldbe with him, but I
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wouldn’t get hurt. Then Itold myself I wouldn’t fall.And after I’d fallen, I’dtold myself that he wouldnever let me down.
You almost have tolaugh. Almost. But thatwould require you to stopcrying.
A knock sounds on mydoor, the place I had
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scarcely left in five days.Ever since Owen left.
I look up from JaneEyre as my dad enters theroom. He was home fordinner almost nightly now.At least one relationship inmy life was looking up.
"Are you...are you ok?You seem down this week.And your eyes...they’re
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red. Like you've beencrying." He joins me whereI lay on my stomach in themiddle of my bed.
I haven't completelyfilled him in on theimplosion that was myrelationship with Owenyet. I haven't even wantedto process it, let alone gothrough the uncomfortable
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conversation of explainingit to my dad. But I guesshere we were.
"Owen and I....weended things."
"That little prick...""Dad!" I’m surprised by
his sudden curse. Usuallymy dad is a ball of pent uptemper, but he keeps agood lid on it.
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"What? I told that littleasshole if he hurt you I'dbreak his neck. And nowI'm going to have to go dothat." He makes a motionas if he was about tospring from my bed.
"Dad, stop it. You don'thave to kill anyone on mybehalf." He looks at me asif I was crazy to assume
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anything else. "Plus, I'mnot angry. I'm just sad."
I look down at my bookas another tear drops.
"Oh come on, don't crysweetheart. Any guy whomakes my daughter thisupset is really not worth itanyway. He's an idiot."
He pats my back like Iremember him doing
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sometimes when I was alittle girl. It helps ease thepain a bit, but the bite ofreality still sinks deep.
I was telling him thetruth. I wasn't angry,because deep inside Iknew something like thiswould eventually happen.I knew I was Icarus, flyingtoo close to the sun. I was
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bound to disintegrate intoashes.
I was just sad. So verysad. I always thoughtwhen they talked aboutbroken hearts it was allbullshit. But now I knew,you could actually ache inthe middle of your chest sobadly that all you wantedwas whatever would ease
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that pressure.I understand the
addicts now. Because asmuch as I hated myself,and Owen for what I'd lethim to do to me, the onlything I wanted was him.He was the only thing thatwould alleviate this hurt.
“I know he is. But I’m abigger one. For getting
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involved with someonelike him in the first place.”
“Someone like him?”My dad wears a puzzledlook.
“You know, popular.Cool. Bright, and gifted,and athletic. Someoneeveryone looks up to andreveres. Someone wholights up every single
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room they walk into.”I thumb at the pages of
the book. For as far as I’dcome in my selfconfidence, part of me wasalways going to be thatnaive, wall flowersophomore who didn’tbelieve in herself.
“Who said you weren’tsomeone like that? Because
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from what I see, you are allof those things and more.”Dad pushes me over sothat I sit up, face to facewith him. “I’m not surewho along the wayconvinced you that yourworth was less thananyone else’s, but theywere dead wrong. You arethe best kind of person,
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Minka. You areconsiderate and intelligent,beautiful, you have thewittiest sense of humor.And let me let you in on alittle secret. You don’t justlight up a room, you burnso bright that even thesolar system is jealous.”
I brush away the tearsthat are again dripping
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down my face. I don’tknow how many years I’vewaited for someone to saythese things to me. And Irealize I haven’t evenknown that I’ve neededthem.
“Don’t you dare letanyone make you feelinferior again, ever in yourlife. You are perfect,
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exactly the way you are.Exactly the way yourmother and I made you.”
He pulls me into hischest, where I collapse insobs. I cry for my mother,for not being able to growup with her and hear herwisdom. I cry for the yearsI’d wasted doubtingmyself and hiding from
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the world. And I cry forthe love that I couldn’tseem to make go away, nomatter how hard I tried.
But as I surfaced fromwallowing in the pit of mygrief, I felt something else.
Beneath all of thesadness and heartbreak, Ifelt empowered. I wasfinally sure of myself. Sure
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of my worth. And I wasn’tletting anyone strip me ofthat again.
THE FIRST THREE days ofschool had passed withoutconsequence. There wasn'tanything taped to mylocker, no one harassed mewith dirty notes in class,
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and I even got to eat lunchpeacefully with Kels.
That was, until today.I’m unwrapping my
roast beef on wheat when Ihear her. Allison Renner.
She’s two tables awayfrom me, surrounded byher posse of popular-bots,drinking a green juice andfiling her nails. Someone
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really needed to tell herthis was high school inNorth Carolina.
"So then, I heard thathe took her down to theBanks just to bang herwhere no one could see.How pathetic is that? Imean how desperate canone person be..."
Kels saw me freeze,
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listening to the entireconversation. "You wantme to go over there andteach that slore a lesson?"
It was a sweet offer, butI was done having peoplefight my battles for me."Nah, I think it's high timeI said something to her,don't you?"
And with that I get up,
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smoothe out my favoriteteal button down dress,and head right for the girlI'd let control my image forway too long.
"Hi Allison." I standover her where she sits,waiting for her toacknowledge me.
She looks up, anexpression of disgust
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clouding her perfectfeatures. "Oh...hi...um,Maggie, is it?"
Typical. "You know myname is Minka. Do youknow how I know that? Itmight be the fact that youhaven't been able to keep itout of your mouth for thelast half hour."
Her body recoils as if
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I’ve struck her. Two of herfollowers gasp in shock.I’ve never, and to myknowledge no person hasever, approached her insuch a manner.
"Excuse me? Who doyou think you are?" At thispoint, her voice begins toreach dog-whistle leveldecibels, and our
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classmates begin to stare."I'm the girl you've
tormented for the last yearand a half. The girl youbullied until she was just ashell of her former self.Well, that stops today. Youcan't hurt me anymore. Iam stronger than any pettyhigh school bullshit youhave to throw at me."
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I look up to see theentire lunch room hangingon my every word. No onehas ever done anythinglike this. That was me,trendsetter. Peeking atKels, she gives me athumbs up, and then slicesher thumb across her neck."Finish her," she mouths.Lovely.
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"I actually feel sorry foryou, Allison. Sorry thatyou feel so badly aboutyourself that you need tobloody and bruise othersto make yourself feelbetter. I feel sorry that youfeel the need to createdrama because you don'thave interests and hobbiesin your life that you love.
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But I especially feel sorryfor you because you'regoing to be that girl, theone who peaked in highschool. That girl who looksback ten years from nowand sees that she wastedher time here with pettyshit instead of learning andcreating memories withgreat friends. So yes, I feel
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damn sorry for you. But dome a favor and leave mealone from now on."
With that, I spin on myheel and walk calmly backto my table. I don’t need tosee her reaction, it wasenough just to spit thosewords in her face.
"My heart is beating sofast." I whisper to Kels as I
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take a seat back at ourtable.
"Boo, you just became aliving legend." she sports asmug smile.
Looking up, the entirecafeteria seems to beswinging their gazesbetween Allison and I.
Glancing at Allison, herentire table is still frozen in
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place. Then, as ifsomething snaps inside ofher, she screeches andleaps up from the table.
"Ughhhhhh!" She flipsher silky blonde hair overher shoulder and runs forthe exit of the lunchroom.
"You are my hero." Iturn to see BethanyCoolidge staring at me in
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awe. Bethany had enduredAllison's wrath far longerthan I. It was in thatmoment that I realized mylittle diatribe might havedone more for my peersthan I'd anticipated.
The bell rings. Thankgod, I need to get out ofhere. People had startedgiving me curious looks
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like they might come overand talk to me. God, no. Imight not want to be apariah, but I definitely didnot want to be the center ofattention. I'd accomplishedmy mission and now itwas time to leave.
"I need to stop by mylocker before Physics." Isling my backpack over
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my shoulder and make myway toward the Southhallway that leads down tothe student parking lot andathletic fields.
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27
OWEN
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I throw my baseball bag intothe corner of our
apartment living room thatalso houses the massivepile of shoes, and throwmy hat on one of the hooksabove it. The place is adump ever since we’vemoved back in, not that itwas ever really clean. Ourapartment was good for
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one thing. Partying.Which was one thing I
hadn’t feel like doing anyof recently.
I walk into ourspacious kitchen and crackopen the fridge. Leftoverchicken wrap, I didn'tknow how old that was.Moldy spaghetti,something else that
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smelled suspicious. Jesus, Ireally did live with abunch of cave men. I spoteggs. I can do somethingwith those.
Pulling them out, Ibegin to crack them intothe pan. A huge after-practice omelet soundsgood.
I hear the front door
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slam as I place the cartonback into the fridge. Farriswalks in, noisily headingfor the fridge. He pulls outa beer, cracks it open andtakes a huge swig. Its asight I’m disappointedlyall too familiar with thesedays.
"Isn't it a little earlyman?" Glancing at the
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clock, it was only noon.We'd had a mid-morningThursday practice, no oneon the team had classestoday as a scheduling fix.All I wanted was to eatand get back into bed.
"What're you, my oldman? I’ve already been upfor like five hours,anything goes. Plus, its
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only the second week ofschool. I have to catch upfor all that lost time I spentfucking sober, takingOlivia on dates and shitlast semester."
Yeah, he still wasn'tover that.
"Whatever, bro. Itsyour liver. And education."I flip one side of my
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omelet. Well, there wasstill something I knew howto do well.
It had been almost twoweeks since Minka left me,literally, in her dust. I hadno fucking clue what I'ddone. I had gone by herhouse. Called her. Textedher. I almost decided towait outside her house for
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her to go for a run, butthen thought she mightflip and call her fuckingPolice Chief father on me.
After that, I'd resignedmyself. I didn't need tochase after a dramaticchick. I didn't put up withcrazy.
But that didn't mean Ididn't love crazy. Because I
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did. I loved Minka. I loveher. For the past twoweeks, it felt like I'd beenin an autopsy. My chestwas cracked open from theinside, and my heart was adead husk just taking upspace in there.
I'd almost told her too,when I'd taken her to thefair, up on that Ferris
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Wheel. But I thought it wastoo soon. With her pastand all, I thought it mightfreak her out.
And then she hadfreaked out. She'd gonefucking nuclear as I wastrying to show her off,introduce her to my buddyGregory.
"You still being a little
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bitch about your breakup,buddy? Get over it, we allscrew and get screwed bythese chicks."
"Don't talk about herlike that." I immediatelysnap at Farris.
"I don't understandwhy you're still defendingher." He plops onto thecouch as I make my way
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over to the table. Ourapartment is open concept,everything just flows rightinto everything else. Farrishad picked it because youcould play beer pong inthe dining room whilewatching TV.
"I don't understandfucking anything aboutthis. I don't know what
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happened. One minute Iwas making out with heron top of the Ferris Wheel,the next I'm trying tointroduce her toGregory......"
"Gregory Stamkos?Fuck, that dude is theworst."
"Huh?" I'd neverrealized Farris even knew
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who he was."I mean, I have been
known to be a classlessasshole sometimes, and Ilove one night stands, butthe girls always knowwhat they're signing upfor."
"Wait, what are youtalking about? Backup."My fork has now dropped
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carelessly onto the plate,my appetite all butvanished. What was hetalking about?
"Dude, you neverheard the story about whatthat asshat and his friendsdid our senior year?" Milesfinishes his beer andcrushes the can, tossing itinto the growing pile next
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to the pile of shoes. Wehad to make a chore list orsomething.
"No?" My stomachstarts to turn as if itsubconsciously knowswhatever he tells me nextis not going to be good.
"Jesus, you really didn'tdo anything that year butbang Allison, did you? The
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whole school, shit thewhole town heard aboutthis. Well, him and some ofthose dickhead juniorsmade a bet at thebeginning of the year.They all picked out onesophomore girl, andwhoever could get theirsophomore to sleep withthem first won the bet."
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Nausea begins to roll upinto my throat at thispoint. "Well, Gregory, heled this girl on so bad. Hetook her on dates aroundtown, held her hand atschool, brought her toparties. Meanwhile, likethe entire school knewexactly what was going on.So after winter formal, he
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brings her to one ofHinkley's parties, andconvinces her to lose hervirginity to him in one ofthe upstairs bedrooms. Hewins the bet. The next dayhe dumps her in front ofthe whole school bypinning the underwearshe'd worn, special forhim, to her locker. Fucking
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prick. I shoulda knockedhis teeth in then."
My stomach is at thebottom of my feet. I canfeel myself drenched in acold sweat, but I’m lockedin this position. I can’tmove. I can barely breathe.I feel like I might blowchunks any second now,but the unshed tears in my
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eyes are causing me toblink so rapidly that I can’tthink much about anythingelse.
He fucking used her.He took her most
cherished gift, stole it, andthen threw her away like afilthy groupie.
Her threw away mybeautiful, passionate,
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smart, breathtaking girl.Gregory ruined Minka.I don’t even realize I’ve
picked up the plate until itsmashes into the wall nextto the front door.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”Miles scrambles up off thecouch like someone justcame into our apartmentspraying bullets. Looking
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around with panickedeyes, he zeroes in on me.“Axel, what the fuck areyou doing?”
I don’t think I’ll be ableto speak past the bile risingin my throat and sheerfury in my veins, but Imanage to. “It was her.”
“What washer….ohhhhhh. Fuck. Oh,
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shit. Jesus. Minka. Thatsophomore was Minka.”He runs his hands throughhis hair as if he’s justplaying this new scenarioout in his head. “Dude, Iswear I didn’t know it washer.”
That I believe. “I know.I would castrate you fornot telling me if you knew
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it was her.”Fuck. What the fuck do
I do now? Then it dawnson me. I didn’t believe her.
“I didn’t…..I didn’tbelieve her.” My voicefeels like shards of glasscoming out of mywindpipe.
I grab the closest thing,my glass of OJ, and throw
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it at the wall. A brightyellowish-orange staincoats the white paint, glasspieces clattering to thefloor.
“Ok! Enoughthrowing.” Farris movesover to me cautiously, as ifI might pull a ninja moveon him at any moment.
He maneuvers my
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body down onto the couch.I think I must still be inshock, because I can’t seemto move myself.
“Now, start from thebeginning.” Miles stares atme like I have three heads.
“At the fair. Gregoryshowed up. I wanted tointroduce her as mygirlfriend. Show how
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proud I was. When shesaw him, she freaked out.She froze, and then brokeinto a run towards theparking lot.” My voicesounded hoarse as Irecounted that night. Fuck,I was such an idiot. “She’dtold me this story when weI took her to the beach.About how sophomore
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year she’d been led on bythis guy, and he’dhumiliated her in front ofthe whole school. Shedidn’t go into all of thespecifics. And apparently Ihad my fucking head upmy ass that year that Ididn’t put two and twotogether. When I caughtup with her in the parking
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lot, she told me the guywas Greg.”
I had to pause. Myomelet was coming backup. I thought I’d lose it allover the coffee table.
“And….I. Fuck. I toldher it couldn’t have beenhim. I told her she’d madea mistake.”
I ball my hands into
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fists. I want to punchmyself in the fucking ballsright now.
“You should have seenher goddamn face.” She’dlooked at me like I’dripped the stars from theskies. I’d put that lookthere. I could kill myself.
She’d told me to protecther heart. That she
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couldn’t take it ifsomething like thathappened again. And I’dripped the organ from herchest and all but stompedon it. I was a fucking dick.
“I have to go.” All of asudden I can’t move myfeet fast enough. Keys, Ineeded my keys. And mylicense. And a fucking
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miracle.“Woah, woah, woah.
You can't leave now.What’re you gonna say toher, man? I am justconsidering your ballshere.”
That one made me stopin my tracks. “Just howoften do you consider myballs?”
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“Fuck off, bro. I meantcause she will definitelykick them once she seesyou. Plus, she’s in schoolright now. How are yougoing to talk your way inthere?”
I wasn’t worried aboutthat. I had those secretarieswrapped around my fingersince day one of freshman
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year. It was Minka I wasworried about.
“I’m not sure how I’llget her to talk to me, but Ihave an hour and fifteenminutes to think up aplan.”
Farris started to put onhis shoes.
“Why’re you gettingdressed?”
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“Dude, if you’re goingto get your ass beat by agirl, I have to be there tosee it.”
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28
MINKA
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Right as I turn the corner, Ifeel the air shift."Yo Axel! What's up
man, what're you doinghere?" I hear a hulkingfootball bro from my gradeshout from further downthe hallway.
I stop in my tracks.Standing twenty feet awayis Owen. Tall, lean,
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outfitted in his baseballuniform. His sexinessmakes my knees go weak.Seriously, I have to bracethe wall.
Kels stops, noticing I’mnot next to her, turningback to see me no longermoving.
"Minka, what areyou...." Following my line
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of sight, she gives a lownoise of understanding."What the hell is dickheaddoing here? I'm going togo kick him in the familyjewels."
I feel the adrenalinerush through my body themoment he locks his eyeson mine. It hits me like atidal wave. Two weeks
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since I’ve seen him and hecan still turn my stomachinto knots and make meinstantly lust for him.
He starts to run fromme, all eyes in the hallwaymoving back and forthbetween us. Three dingssound over the schoolspeakers, signaling thatthere is only a minute left
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before the next periodstarts.
“We have to go.” I turnon my heel, speed-walkingback the way we’d come.My classroom was theother way, but at this pointI’d scale Everest to getaway from Owen.
Too bad he was analmost-professional
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athlete.As soon as Kels and I
hit the tile in thelunchroom, he’s grabbingmy elbow.
“Minka, wait.Please….please listen tome. Give me a minute.”
Kels looks like she’sabout two seconds frompunching him in the nose.
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“I need to go to class.Please leave me alone.” Ipull out of his grasp, goingto turn again. He’s on mymovements as if he canread my mind. The minuteI turn, he throws himself infront of me.
Grabbing my hands, hecrunches his body down sohe can look me in the face.
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Since I’m avoiding eyecontact at all costs, it’s thebest he can do.
“I know that you weretelling the truth aboutGregory. I’m anunbelievable, unmitigatedass. You must allow me totell you just how stupidI’ve been. And how much Ilove you.”
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My ears are ringing.My stomach and hearthave joined each other in apile of goop at my feet. Didhe just say I was right? Theonly people who have eversaid out loud, in the openthat what I’d said aboutGregory was true wereChloe and Kelsey. It feltlike a dam of relief and
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pent up frustration wasbreaking open in my chest.
And was he quotingMr. Darcy? Only Owen.Only he knew the mostsimple way to blaststraight through my walls.
And had he said heloved me? Two weeks agoI would have beenjumping around in giddy
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middle-school-girl circleshearing him say that. Nowit brought confusion, andsadness.
And worst of all, hope.I broke the hypnotizing
stare Owen had me in tosearch for Kels. Maybeshe’d give me one of hermen suck speeches and I’dbe able to walk away.
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Because right now, I don’tthink I could do it on myown.
Instead, I lifted myhead to see almost 200people at a dead stop,silently watching this godown.
“Alright people, thisisn’t soap opera hour. Getyour nosey asses to class.
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You’re all going to belate!” Kels’ demand sentpeople scuttling away,remembering they hadclass in less than 30seconds. “You stay, I’ll tellPetri you’re going to belate. He won’t mind.”
So much for her tellingme to be strong.
“I can’t be late for AP
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bio.” I say to no one inparticular, because Kels isalready halfway up thestairs to the science wing.
Owen grabs my handsagain, leading me over to alunch table, pulling medown to sit. Our kneesbrush together and Ishudder. I can’t help mybody’s physical reaction to
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being so close to him.“I’m sorry. I’m so
goddamn sorry, Minka. Iknow there is nothing thatI can say or do to make upfor what I’ve done. But Ican’t be away from you.When Miles told me…toldme what he’d done to yousophomore year….I swearI almost got in my car to
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drive to where he was andkill him. I could kill himwith my bare hands.”Owen chokes out thewords, as if they arephysically hurting him.
“You didn’t believe me.You chose him.” My voicesounds extremely smallinside my ears.
“And for that I will
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never forgive myself. AndI don’t expect you toeither. I chose what wassafe. What was familiar.It’s what I’ve been doingmy whole life, Minka.Choosing the path thatpeople put me on, the onepeople expect me tofollow. I’m an idiot. I don’tcare about that shit
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anymore. The only thing Icare about is you. I want tofit into your world, nomatter what that means.We can paint ourselvesorange and walk aroundtown in overalls for all Icare. But I’d be happy,because I was with you.Without you, I have noworld.”
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I let his words soak intomy brain, hearing what hewas saying but not reallybeing able to process it. I’dmissed him. So much thatit hurt. And to have himsitting in front of me,saying these things I’dalways wanted him to say,I felt the tiny castle wallsaround my heart
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crumbling with each word.“I love you. I am in
love with you. I know Ican’t re-do the past, butplease. Baby, if you….ifyou give me one lastchance, I promise I will doeverything I can to provethat my life means nothingwithout you in it.”
I feel a tear drip down
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my cheek, and when Owenreaches out to brush itaway, I audibly sigh intohis hand. Just his touchmakes my whole worldbetter.
“I don’t know. Youpromised not to hurt me,and now…” I can’t keepup with the mixedemotions flying through
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my head. I want him backmore than anything else inthe world, but my self-preservation is waging amean battle.
“I know…I know. AndI’m so sorry. I’ll never beable to say that enough.But just give me a shot. Letme show you what us,together, could be like.
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Because without you, mylife means nothing. I amnothing.”
I close my eyes, tryingto take soothe my shakinghands. “I’ve missed you somuch. Sitting here withyou, I’ve dreamed aboutthis every night for weeks.Hearing you say you loveme, I’ve wanted that for so
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long. But you lost my trust,Owen…”
“And I want to gain itback. I will try forever. I’lldrive up here every singleday. I will bring youcheesesteaks and pickles,with white chocolate andLost for dessert. I’ll putcorny hip-hop covers onYouTube dedicated to you.
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I’ll do anything.”I smile tearily, unable
to contain it after his sillydiatribe. “I’m not sure…”
“You don’t have to besure now. Go to class. I’llbe waiting in the parkinglot after you finish, waitingto begin proving it to you.Just say you’ll meet me.”
I weigh the options in
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my head. Its safer to putthose walls back up, notexpose myself to pain, orlove, or all of the scaryemotions that came withthem. But Owen, he hadshown me that steppingup to the plate was worthit. And who cared if youstruck out a time or two? Itonly matters if you get
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back out there and swingat the challenges lifethrows you.
“Okay. I’ll meet you.”
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EPILOGUEONE YEAR LATER
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Ilean my back against theold brick building,
admiring the rays shiningthrough the tall oaks thatdot campus.
The weather is perfect,high temps and sunshinewith no humidity in theair, which was weird for aSeptember in Virginia.Students begin to trickle
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into the quad, those whoseteachers called class just aminute or two early.
I hear the doors swingopen just beside me, andpull my Tigers hat lowerdown on my head.Sticking my hands in mypockets, I wait.
Guys and girls pourout of the exit, clad in their
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Grover University gear,flip flops, yoga pants andbasketball shorts. Thismight be a prestigiouscollege, but we all stilldressed like bums forclass.
I see a long, curlyponytail swoosh a few feetin front of me, the head itbelongs to turning to
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search for someone in thecrowd.
“Hey freshman!” I yell.She turns around, an
annoyed smile gracingthose perfect lips. I walkstraight for her and don’twaste a minute fusing mylips to hers in a kiss that isprobably not decent forpublic consumption.
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She tastes like berriesand home. Minka. The besttaste in the world.
“Ew, junior boys are socreepy.” She teases, but bythe breathlessness in hervoice I know I’ve affectedher.
“Well, this junior boyloves you. I love you somuch.”
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“And I love you.”Minka smiles up at me, hersmall body enveloped inmy arms.
It still makes my heartdo a funny lurch inside mychest when I hear her saythat. I hadn’t heard it untilabout four months after I’dambushed her in thelunchroom. When she said
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it to me then I thought I’ddamn near have a stroke.
Those four monthshadn’t been easy, for eitherof us. She was snippy anddistrustful at first, notunlike our initial meetingwhen I’d tried to win herover. And I was so hard onmyself for how I’d hurther, I had a dark period
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there for a minute. But wegot through it, me drivingto Mitchum any chance Igot to see her, and herslowly giving on the reins.
When she’d gotten intoGrover, and subsequentlyaccepted, I gave her anextra special acceptedstudents tour. A largeportion of the tour
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featured my bedroom. I’dlike to think she was morethan satisfied with thebenefits package.
“So, I have a littlecelebration planned tocommemorate your firstweek of classes beingover…”
“Owen, have you reallybeen that bored? Lucky
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you, no classes on Friday.”“Would it be weird to
say I’ve been countingdown the minutes untilyou got out of class?”
“No, its actually verysweet.”
I wrap her locksaround my fingers as Idirect her towards mytruck in the parking lot.
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“Good. We’re having asmall get together, Chloe isinvited, of course, asanother one-weekfreshman.”
“Oh, great. Miles isgoing to kill you ha!”
Miles and Chloe hadbeen beefing ever since thecarnival. I didn’t knowwhy. I did know that he
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was still not acting likehimself almost a year later.“Whatever he can suck itup. And anothersurprise…”
I unlock the doors tomy car, and out jumpsKelsey.
“OH MY GOD!Owen…what…Kels!?”Minka looks at me, her
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eyes wide with glee andshock.
Kelsey is leaving for ayear-long trip to Africa intwo days. The girls hadthought they’d said theirgoodbyes last week beforethey’d come to school, butI had other plans.
“What are you doinghere!?” Minka was yelling
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now, the excitementcoming through in hervoice.
“I had to come to yourfirst weekend of collegeparties! Come on, who doyou think I am. Plus, Clintwould have killed me if Ididn’t show my face beforeI left.”
Kelsey and Clint had
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become close over the lastyear, with Minka comingup a few times and metaking my buddies homesome weekends. The wayhe looked at her though, Iknew he wanted to be waymore than friends.
Minka pushes up onher toes and gives me asloppy, enthusiastic kiss
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before slinging her armaround Kelsey, talk ofwhat they were going towear already going on.
I stand back andadmire my girl. Mybeautiful, smart, brave girl.She’s faced so much andcome out to beat it intosubmission. I was in aweof her everyday.
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It seemed like myexistence up until I met heronly depended on the nextwin. The next time I couldmark that W. But I didn’tneed that validationanymore. I’d won herheart, and she had mine.Everything after that wasjust balls and strikes.
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ABOUT THEAUTHOR
Carrie Aarons lives with her soon-to-be husband in an apartment theyare constantly outgrowing. Ninetimes out of ten, she can be found
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with her head in a book. The otherone, she’s most likely devouringsushi.
For more information:
@authorcarriea
carrieaarons