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Invoking Inherent Inspiration (I.I.I. or Aye! Aye! Aye!):

Motivating and Encouraging Youth through Communication

Michelle Vazquez Jacobus

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“Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for life.” Confucius

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Part I: COACHINGCommunicating to Invoke Inherent

Inspiration

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COACHINGIs a Two Way Partnership

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Coaching occurs when a worker…

☀provides positive feedback reinforcing healthy behavior

☀listens to the youth and other’s concerns

☀provides corrective feedback indicating concerns about unhealthy behavior as an impediment to successful living

☀clears the air by tackling issues of concern before they become crises

☀helps the youth to perform a new task, develop a skill, solve a problem or build a confidence.

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Coaching Ground Rules: Focus on behavior - not the person. Be descriptive, not evaluative. Listen Be concrete Be clear and direct Be timely Be consistent, reliable and, wherever possible, honest Deal with one issue at a time Emphasize mutual responsibility Emphasize building strengths rather than improving

weaknesses Solicit the youth’s self-evaluation of strengths and

needed improvements. Always see and reflect potential for positive change –

Never Say Never Again

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Focus on the Behavior Not the Person

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Be Descriptive Not Evaluative

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Listen and Keep the Focus on the Youth

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Be Concrete and Specific

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Be Clear and Direct

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Be Timely

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Be consistent, reliable, and whenever possible, honest.

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Deal with one issue at a time

X Meet with teacher

X buy coat

Sign up for lessons

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Emphasize mutual responsibility

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Emphasize building strengths rather than improving weaknesses.

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Solicit the youth’s self evaluation of strengths and

needed improvements.

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Part II: The Skills of Coaching

Providing Structure

Active Listening

Asking Questions

Making Suggestions

Giving Feedback

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Providing Structure

•Hold regular, preplanned meetings with youth

•Hold meetings when there have been successes as well as when there are problems

•Ensure that any meetings with others follow clear agenda•Conclude all formal and informal meetings with youth with summary of meeting, agreement on actions each will take, and date of next meeting.

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Active Listening

Do Don’t

Quiet your own mind Interrupt

Know when to listen Finish youth’s sentences

Tell him that you “know” him, that you know

what she means, or that you know what he wants (even if you think you do)LET THEM TELL YOU!

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Use Multiple Forms of Communication

Body language (positive non verbal signs)

Positive verbal signals

Positive open environment

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Body language

NoddingSmilingAttentive PostureOpen PostureInterested Facial ExpressionsEye Contact

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Positive Verbal Signals:

“Oh’

“I see”

“Mmm-hmm”

“That’s interesting”

“Really” (Not with disbelief but confirmation)

“Tell me more about…”

Prompting (repeating youth’s last or most significant words to ask for more information “You say you had trouble with your brother then?”

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Positive/Open Environment

Non obstructed space between worker and youth (worker is not behind desk)

Non-cluttered enough that there is room to sit and move comfortably

Pleasing/soothing colors, fabrics, décorA few personal (though not intimate) knickknacks

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Hear the whole youth and all that s/he is saying

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Summarize

•“Let me check to be sure I understand…”

•“So, you’re saying that…”

•“As I understand you…”

•“Let me see if I’ve got that…”

•“What I hear you saying is…”

•“So, our assignments for next week are…”

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Open Ended Questions:

Clarifying Questions “What does that mean to you?”

Creative Questions “How have you seen other people deal with the same situation?”

Process Questions “What would you like to get out of the meeting with the principal?”

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Clarifying Questions:

“What does that mean to you?”

“Can I make sure I understand that…?”

“If I hear you correctly what you are saying is…”

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Creative Questions:“How have you seen other people handle similar situations?”“Can you explain more about where you’re going with that?”“Would you like to talk about that some more?”

“What would you do here if you could do whatever you wanted (money were not a problem)?”

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Process Questions:

“What would you like to get out of this/that meeting?”

“What do you think I/you need to communicate to ensure everyone understands…?”

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Follow-up Questions

Reflective

“You say you were happy when…How so?”

You say your father was angry when he saw that? How did you know he was angry?”

To get more information

“In what way would this make things easier for you?”

“Just how would you involve your foster siblings in this task?”

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Closed Questions:

“Did you …?” “When was (this event)?” “How often did you…?” “How many times were you…?”

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Other Less Useful Questions:

•Leading questions: “I assume you…didn’t you?”

•Hypothetical questions “If you were me…?”

•Multiple questions, “Would you have gone to the beach even if your sister didn’t say she was going to be there with your ex?”

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Suggestions on how to make suggestions:

•Do not impose your ideas.

•Be sure the youth has exhausted her own ideas before you offer your own.

•Encourage the youth to come up with further suggestions even if she seems to have “dried up”•Provide prompts to encourage creativity.•Position your suggestions as additional thoughts which arise from youth’s ideas instead of as the primary source.

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Giving Feedback

The way in which you give feedback will determine whether it is accepted or acted upon.

•Feedback should describe the behavior, not judge the person.•Feedback should be constructive not negative.•Feedback should be factual, specific, and accurate-not vague.•Feedback should be about behaviors the youth can change, not about situations outside the youth’s control.•Feedback should be prompt but should always respect confidentiality and privacy.

•Feedback should describe the consequences of behavior in objective, not reactive, terms.

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ListenReflect

Plan

Provide Experience

Practice

Part III:

Coaching Through the Cycle

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Listenunderstand

acknowledge youth’s voicehelp youth identify needs and

wants

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Plan

Goals

Objectives

Destination

Direction

Guidance

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Provide ExperienceReal life

Experiential LearningSafe Space to Grow

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PracticeLearn from Mistakes

Gain Confidence from Successes Preparation and Readiness

Delay of Gratification

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ReflectReview

ReconsiderIncorporate Lessons

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Hope

CONNECTICUT Drivers License

BIRTHDATE

10/16/90

Amanda Sue Dobson

EXPIRES

10/16/2010

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Sometimes, teaching a youth to fish requires sharing your vision of him catching one.