Its raining so hard right now and thoughts are pouring down on my brain the way these raindrops come pouring on in the streets of Manila. I dont know exactly why Im writing at the moment. I just feel the need of expressing myself once again in the middle of the night, at exactly thirteen minutes before august twenty twenty-thirteen. I guess you dont really know when you will get so inspired in writing, may it be after watching three films in a row or may it be after talking endlessly to random stranger via online. Clearly, the point of writing this is to express my feelings and my emotions at this point of time. Actually Im feeling mixed emotions. Im still inspired by Ben Campbell characterized by Jim Sturgess in the film 21. This film wanted me to go to Harvard Med and motivated me to study harder and be better and smarter if I really wanted to be like him (well you know Im such a dreamer). Another film titled Freaky Friday made me realize of my age and that Im already sixteen. Yes, I know this since my sixteenth birthday but I never really thought and considered or evaluated my progress and my development as a sixteen-year old teenage girl (omg, Im already a teen!) Gee, Im already a teen. I am a teen. I feel like Im not acting much of a mature teen. I feel so lazy and most of the time I love procrastinating. I still think my mom sucks in some things that are not in line with her field. She is a doctor. Yes, she is venerable and respected, dignified and yeah you know what Im talking about. But there are just some things about mom that I really dont like. I really think and I can see that mom finds it hard to cope with the present changes of a mother living in the modern world. Her mind is still in the old times. Her body is not. Her husband has been coping with the developments. She struggles to do the same thing but unfortunately her system wont let the changes mould a new perspective in her thoughts. I just miss you so much right now Danny Murphy. I wish I could say all of my thoughts to you once again. I wish we could talk endlessly during those sleepless nights once more. I wish I could rewind time and loved you better. I wish I could have been more mature. I wish I just made the right decisions so I wouldnt have to wish these things and so I never have to regret in the end how stupid I had become for turning into a selfish and close-minded reckless teenager who struggles at the moment to pass her grades and to turn her life around from a secluded always so dependent condition into a well-rounded, responsible and independent state for a much better way of living the most out of life.