2 W o r d s C h a r a c t e r D e v e l o p m e n t • S e a s o n 1 • W e e k 8

08W E E K

CCOACHES CAPTAINS ATHLETES FAMILY

Use the “3-why” method to zero in

on the root reasons behind excuses.

See your circumstances as resources rather

than anchors.

Discover the emotional and mental “bricks” you’ve been

carrying.

Help your child develop

a “no excuses” perspective.

NO EXCUSESWe give excuses all the time: “I’m tired...it’s not fair...it’s hot.” We give them all the time, but what have excuses ever given us? Nothing. Excuses do nothing but hold us back from reaching our full potential.

Never once has an excuse unlocked the door to success. Even when the excuses are valid,

even when we have every right to give an excuse, they still will not get us any closer to success. That’s because excuses don’t change anything. They focus on what we don’t have so we don’t bother looking for ways to use what we do have at our disposal. For example, say a student is writing an essay and she’s having trouble thinking of an example to drive home the point she’s writing about. She could be focusing on the lack of an idea, and say she’s “just not inspired.” Instead she decides to inventory the resources she does have: personal experience, stories she’s heard, articles she’s read, friends, the internet…

Or, let’s say a team loses a game. They could blame each other for the loss, or blame the refs, or the field, etc. But a better option is to ditch the excuses and flip it to express how they’re going to prepare better so they can win the next game. Instead of using a lack of inspiration as an excuse to avoid doing homework, we can recognize the resources we have available to help get the ball rolling. Instead of blaming each other for a loss, we can come together as a team and figure out how to do better next time. Whatever the excuse might be for failing or avoiding something, it is a choice. In everything we do, we are faced with a choice to take ownership of our lives or make excuses for it. Ownership takes us closer to success than our excuses ever can.

C O N T E N T O V E R V I E WNo Excuses

2 W o r d s C h a r a c t e r D e v e l o p m e n t • S e a s o n 1 • W e e k 8

08W E E K

F O R C O A C H E S

NO EXCUSES: FOR COACHESAre you an excuse enabler or eliminator? Our brains operate on a survival mentality. We’re naturally wired to do what will best protect us. If excuses meet that need, then we’re naturally going to take that route. What we must teach our athletes is that is our brain’s way of seeking comfort, and growth only happens as we stretch outside of our comfort zone.

We need to examine the way our players handle loss, failure, and shortcomings in practice or the game. We may listen to excuses our players rattle off and want to pull our hair out, but instead of getting frustrated at the excuses, we can use those moments as teaching opportunities. Eliminating excuses means we need to figure out the root causes behind them. For example, say a player jumps offsides. We need to figure out why, so we can seek a solution. We can do this by utilizing the “3-why” method. Here’s an example:

Coach: Why didn’t you run the play?Athlete: I didn’t know the play that was called.Coach: Why haven’t you been studying your plays enough to know them?Athlete: I’m too busy at home.Coach: Why are you too busy at home?Athlete: Because I have to take care of my three younger siblings because my mom isn’t home from work till late.

When we find the source of an excuse, we’re able to tailor our leadership and guidance for our students’ good. We need to take the time to figure out how to best lead them as individuals and as a team. Let’s blow past the symptom(s), get to the root issue, and find a solution.

THIS WEEK, BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR:1. An opportunity to use the “3-why” method. As you’re helping your athletes take responsibility for their actions, use the 3-why method. Ask your player at least 3 questions starting with “Why?” to get through the symptoms. Excuses are the symptoms. What is the cause?

2. An opportunity to prevent excuses during high stakes situations. When stakes are high, excuses run rampant. When excuses run rampant, team morale goes down. If something goes wrong, instead of listening to how a player was wronged, ask them how they will handle it differently next go around. Focus on the future improvement instead of the past mistake.

3. An opportunity to call out the most common excuses used by your players. On a whiteboard, list the most common excuses that will no longer be accepted by your coaching staff or your players. Establish a culture that functions with no excuses. “I forgot my equipment” is not an acceptable reason to why you can’t practice. “Well my teacher doesn’t like me” is not an acceptable reason to why you’re failing a class.

QUOTES OF THE DAY:

MONDAY:“You finish where you focus.” - Coach MackeyTUESDAY:“There may be people that have more talent than you, but there’s no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do.” - Derek Jeter

WEDNESDAY:“Do not make excuses, whether it’s your fault or not.” - Gen. George Patton

THURSDAY:“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” - Benjamin Franklin

FRIDAY:“I attribute my success to this—I never gave or took an excuse.” - Florence Nightingale

No Excuses

2 W o r d s C h a r a c t e r D e v e l o p m e n t • S e a s o n 1 • W e e k 8

08W E E K

F O R C A P TA I N S

NO EXCUSES: FOR CAPTAINSIf there is one thing that is common among good leaders, it’s that they are resourceful. Lack of resources is less important than being resourceful with what you have. If you are casting blame onto (a.k.a. giving excuses for) external circumstances, then you will lose the respect of your

team. Giving excuses shows complacency. It says you’re not willing to seek a solution, and you just want to mull over something that doesn’t move the situation forward. If you are wrapped up in excuses, your focus is on the excuse instead of your goal. You’re focused on the reasons why you can’t do something rather than how you can find out a way to accomplish the goal at hand. Take ownership of where you are and what you have, and move forward. There are no excuses that will unlock a door to success. You know what does unlock a door to success? Decision. Good leaders not only make, but own their decisions, whether good or bad. Great leaders make and own decisions that benefit the greater good. They do not make excuses for selfish choices because they see the reason for choosing the greater good above their selfish ambitions. When you decide you’re not going to make excuses and own your leadership decisions—that’s when you are on the road to success. It’s a choice.

Choose to see your circumstances as resources rather than limitations.

Choose to own your mistakes rather than make excuses for them.

Choose to seek solutions instead of complain about the problem.

When you decide that your lack of resources will not keep you from becoming resourceful—that’s when you begin your journey of success. Stop justifying your behavior with excuses, use those past pains and current circumstances to motivate you to be better.

C

/// CAPTAINS’ LOG ///“LEADERS ALWAYS LEAD”

List 5 resources available to help you reach one of your goals for this season. Doesn’t

have to be sports related.

Write down any excuses that are keeping you from fully utilizing those resources.

Then cross them out one by one and write next to it: I will not settle for this excuse.

Which resource would be the most helpful? Which would be the easiest? Do the

easiest in the next 24 hours and the most beneficial within the week.

What are some excuses you hear from your team? How can you help remind them that

an excuse is a choice?

Is your team effectively using available resources? What’s one improvement that

could be implemented this week.

No Excuses

2 W o r d s C h a r a c t e r D e v e l o p m e n t • S e a s o n 1 • W e e k 8

08W E E K

F O R AT H L E T E S

NO EXCUSES: FOR ATHLETESIn life, everyone has emotional and mental backpacks filled with “bricks”. These bricks are created by the things you experience and believe about life. Some come from experiences you choose, and others are beyond your control. Even though you might not have chosen the bricks in your bag, once they’re in there, they fall into only two categories:

1. Bricks you chose to put in your backpack.2. Bricks you chose not to take out.

Bricks can be expectations and perceptions of yourself, beliefs about your strengths and weaknesses, or memories of times that you’ve failed. Life may drop a brick in your bag unexpectedly with circumstances you can’t control, but it’s your choice to keep it in the bag. Making excuses for why the bricks are in there doesn’t lighten the load. Every excuse is actually a missed opportunity to have grown, learned, and improved. The weight of this backpack is like an emotional anchor that slows you down from achieving your goals. If you’re not getting what you want, then you can change it. You’re the driver on the road to success, and excuses are your brake pedals. If you want to wait for your dreams, if you want to slow down your growth, then keep making excuses. But if you want to use every day as a training day towards success, then live by the mantra “no excuses.” Why? Because you cannot change the past, but you can impact your future. Excuses pull you back even when you want to move forward. Excuses limit your growth which in turn limits your success. The bricks you choose to carry, and the excuses you tell yourself (and others) so you can keep them there are weighing you down. It’s time to find a way to lighten the load.

Athlete’s Exercise:1. What “bricks” (circumstances, insecurities, etc.) are weighing you down? Which one

would you like to get rid of most? How do you feel when you focus on that brick?

2. What excuses do you tell yourself that have prevented you from taking the brick out before now?

3. Imagine that brick was out of your life, how do you feel? What positive impact would removing that brick have on your life? Are you willing to take it out of your backpack?

4. List 3 excuses you tell yourself to keep from relieving yourself of the brick.

5. Write a positive counter-argument for each of the excuses you make for keeping that negative influence in your mind. Ex:

Excuse: I don’t have time to run in the morning.

Counter-Argument: I don’t want to get up early in the morning to run, but I know I will feel better after I do.

No Excuses

2 W o r d s C h a r a c t e r D e v e l o p m e n t • S e a s o n 1 • W e e k 8

08W E E K

F O R FA M I LY

NO EXCUSES: FOR FAMILYLanguage is one of the biggest factors in developing a worldview lens. Two people may interpret the same experience completely differently simply because of their worldview.

It’s important that our language does not reflect that excuses are acceptable currency our family cultures. The words we use hold great power over our thoughts and feelings. The words we speak to ourselves and others can chemically rewire our brain and our default thoughts about the world around us. We want to use “expensive language,” or in other words, words that cost us something or cause us to take ownership in what we are saying. How often do we hear or use “cheap language” phrases like “I don’t have time for that”? Using cheap phrases like this teaches our kids to put the power in external factors instead of their own hands. Let’s talk about the example of a physical therapist. At the end of a session, she would show her patients exercises to do at home so that they had the best chance for a full recovery in the shortest amount of time. Time and time again she’d hear the words “I don’t have time for that.” She’d then respond to them, “Repeat this back to me: ‘Taking care of my body just isn’t a priority to me right now,’ and then tell me how that feels.” She made her patients own their choices, and refused to see them blame “time” for their lack of recovery. She wanted to see her patients recover and live healthier lives, so she refused their excuses and their cheap language, and made them take ownership of their choices. The exercises would cost them something, but if they truly wanted to get better, then they’d have to make them a priority. Everything is a choice. We want to encourage our children to start taking ownership of their choices through expensive language.

/// BEST 5 ///THE BEST FIVE MINUTES OF THE WEEK

Discuss 3-5 negative “cheap phrases” any family member uses and then write the corresponding “expensive phrases” next to them.

Challenge your family to only use expensive language. If someone uses cheap language, positively encourage them and offer an alternative expensive phrase.

Every time your child says they can’t do something, have them replace that with they “choose” not to do that thing.

No Excuses