03) grow up! are you a child of god or a man of god? chapter two

8/7/2019 03) Grow Up! Are You a Child of God or a Man of God? Chapter Two

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Chapter Two: Prayer

The Most Important Chapter

There will be many people reading this book that will have many problems with what I have to

say. I will only remind you again that everything is in Scripture, and I do this only in the spirit of

bringing people together with Christ in a more fulfilling capability. With that being said, let me start by

saying that, without a proper prayer life, you will never be close to God. Talking with your Heavenly

Father is the same as talking with your earthly father would be. If you dont communicate, nothing

gets done. People can live together in the same house for years, and never speak with each other.

They may speak at each other, but few conversations happen. Without communication, even acts of

Fatherly love can go unnoticed.

There are many people who try to pray to God properly, but they just dont know the most

effective way of doing so. Some of these people have been in church all their lives, and have been a

Christian at least half of that, if not more. They go to church to learn how to praise God and to learn

how to talk with God, and all they get instead is an assumption that they already know. After all, if

youve been a Christian for 20 years, you cant possibly still be immature in your faith, can you? Of

course you can, and until people start realizing this, they will never grow in their faith.

There are people out there who will go to their deathbed a baby Christian, and their fellow

believers would never know it. They will be praised for their work in the church, their voice in the

choir, and their money in the offering plates. No one will realize that these people will die with an

immature knowledge of their Saviour. No one will see these people volunteering as a desperate

attempt to learn what its really all about. These people may have fire insurance, and well see them in

Heaven, but their crowns will be few.

Now for the good news: its never too late to grow in your relationship with Him. It is never too

late to learn how to please God, for Hes always trying to let you know. Sometimes our Father really


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has to go to great lengths to get our attention, for were so busy with our lives that we dont stop and

listen to Him as much as we should. Its difficult to hear Him sometimes, I know. I know that from

personal experience. Thank God those days are over, and I really mean that. Praise God.

Talking with God can open up entirely new avenues to you that were previously unseen.

Talking with God can allow you to listen better, for no one really likes a one-way conversation. If you

get enough practice at listening for His responses, you begin to realize Hes speaking to us all the

time. That little bit of nagging in your subconscious that says not to take that drink isnt your

conscience, its the Spirit of the Lord telling you this. For Christians, God is our conscience. For non-

Christians, God is still your conscience. Its just a lot easier to ignore God if His Spirit isnt inside you

amplifying the signal.

The reason I called this chapter the most important one is because, without proper

communication with God, it can affect your faith, your willingness to follow His will, and your blessings

that He wants to give you. Every other part of your Christian walk stems from your relationship with

the Father. If you make little effort, in any relationship, it will start to suffer. If you make the effort, and

do it badly, your relationship will suffer. As in any relationship, you have to follow cues the other

person gives you. In this case, were given the Bible.

Matthew 6 is a great starting point when talking about prayer. It has everything we need to

speak with God properly in it, and it is often a blind spot for most pastors. They will do sermons on it,

but it doesnt reach their heart. The message in Matthew 6 gets lost within all the denials that any

God-fearing church member actually does any of these things. Unfortunately, this is a stumbling block

for any Christian who needs this message, which is every one of us. Every single Christian out there,

no matter the maturity level, needs to know how to speak with God.

Matthew 6 starts with a rebuke for those who make a mighty noise when giving alms. As was

told in the story of the widows mites, many of the Jewish leaders would come in and drop a great

amount of coins into the alms collection box. This would make lots of noise as coin after coin would

go in, and everyone would know that a great donation was made to help the poor. These richer Jews


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would be lauded for their great generosity, which would inflate their egos as well. This caused Jesus

to say:

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them; otherwise ye have no reward of

your Father, which is in Heaven.

Therefore, when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in

the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, they have

their reward.

But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee

openly. Matthew 6: 1-4

I know, you might be thinking this has nothing to do with the subject, but it does, for in the next

few verses, Jesus said the same thing about prayer, and heres where most people just kind of glaze

over it. The verses might be read in a lesson to never do that, but its always assumed that no one

everdoes do that. Read on to see what I mean.

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the

synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you,

they have their reward.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy

Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard

for their much speaking.

Be ye not therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye

ask Him. Matthew 6:5-8

These few verses here are probably the most deliberately overlooked ones in the Bible. After

all, a good Christian wouldnt get up in front of people and say a long, well-scripted, flowery prayer


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with impeccable English that sounds like theyve rehearsed it ahead of time. They wouldnt dare do

that more than two to three times a service, anyway.

Im not trying to attack the churchs right to determine order of service. Im just trying to point

out something that is often missed when talking about prayer. When pastors and other Christians talk

about prayer, its always about what everyone else is doing that we shouldnt be doing. Its almost

never about what were doing that we shouldnt be. After all, if you offend your congregation, they

stop coming to church whenever the doors are open. They stop coming, and the pastor cant teach

them the gospel (not to mention the tithes stop).

I was attending a Wednesday night discipleship training class once, and the subject was

prayer. The usual teacher wasnt there that night, but he had left a detailed lesson plan for someone

else to teach for him. It was very detailed, and it mentioned verses from both Old and New

Testament. It was a great Bible study, and I felt the Lord moving within me as I heard it. I had always

wondered why we pray out loud, and I had even read the verses in Matthew before that said we

shouldnt, but I was always told by church elders that those verses werent talking about corporate

prayer. They always said corporate prayer was elsewhere in the Bible. In this Bible study, I

discovered that this is a Christian myth.

In every instance of someone praying aloud in the Bible, they are alone. It says the disciples

prayed together after Christ ascended, but it never said aloud. It would have been chaotic! Never in

the Bible does it say that one person got up, spoke a prayer, and everyone else said Amen. That is

the current form of corporate prayer in the church, and it is nowhere in the Bible. It is actually against

what the Bible says to do, as detailed in the above verses.

After the Bible study, I expected a change among the other members of the class. I expected

that they would take these verses to heart and change the way they speak to the Saviour. Instead, all

kinds of trouble erupted, admittedly by me. The teacher that night, a good friend of mine named Jeff,

called for a prayer circle, immediately ignoring what he had just taught against praying out loud. The

older gentleman who started the prayer said, and I quote,Father, O Father, we thank You Father O


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Father, for bringing us here Father. Father O Father we thank you for this lesson Father O Father

and so on and so forth. So much for keeping away from vain repetition, huh?

The prayer circle went around, and I didnt pray out loud when it was my turn. I just let it go,

and after a few seconds Jeff ended the prayer. Everyone was all smiles, feeling good about

themselves for such a good prayer, and I almost didnt say anything. The only problem with that was

God was telling me to say something. Practically shouting it at me, and this was after I had learned to

hear Him better. So, with a large, gut-wrenching fear in my belly, I said Isnt it interesting that we just

had a great study on prayer, and immediately forget what it said? You could hear a pin drop for those

first few seconds. Then Jeff asked what I meant, so I told him. I went back over the verses we had

just finished with a few minutes before, and the room exploded. It was me against the room at that

point. My roommate at the time, who was there with me, sat silently, not knowing what to think. I think

if there had been a rope there, they would have wanted to re-enact how Judas left this world.

I asked them why they pray out loud, and one woman there said it makes her feel better to

actually hear someone mention her prayer request. Thats all well and good to make you feel better

about it, but Matthew quoted Jesus as saying out-loud prayers dont get answered, for you have your

reward in the people hearing you. In other words, feeling better is about the only thing hearing

someone speak it will get you. I would rather have my prayers answered than feeling good about

someone feeling bad for me.

We ended up sitting there another 45 minutes discussing the topic after class ended. I was told

I didnt know what I was talking about, and I shouldnt bother saying anything else because I was only

there to make trouble. Actually, the only reason I mentioned it is because God put it very heavily on

my heart and wouldnt let it go. Over the years since then, Ive realized that God wants me to spread

His message about this because He wants everyone to have the relationship we have. Im not saying

its perfect, for I am truly not perfect. I do, however, speak and listen to God on a daily basis. I can

hear Him when He speaks, and Im willing to follow His will. Im not putting myself on a platform for


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having the type of relationship that were supposedto have with Him. I just consider myself blessed

that He chose to put up with me for so long while I got my act together.

Prayer is essential to a growing relationship with the Father, and most people dont do it

properly. Its not really their fault. Theyve been taught badly in Sunday School and Worship Service

that prayer is mainly used when you want something from God. This lesson isnt actually taught

verbally, but it is taught in practice. They forget the main reason we were created was to worship God

with a free will. Prayer is a major part of that. They stand before the congregation, behind the podium,

speaking into the microphone, and their minds are on what words to say next, not on praising the all-

mighty Father in Heaven. True praise comes from the heart, and doesnt need a memorized text.

Praising God should be spoken impulsively, with the first words that come to mind, not minding how it

sounds to an audience over speakers, because that limits your personal praise and worship to God.

Aside from being against Bible precepts for speaking aloud, most people called to the front to

pray dont even follow the Biblical model for prayer, also known as the Lords prayer. There are a lot

of people out there who seem to forget that this was Jesus answering the question of how to pray.

The repeat it verbotem (can you say vain repetition?), and it means little more than a symbol to them.

They say it because it identifies them as someone Holy in others eyes. It is a beautiful example of an

outline, and it is treated as if its a mantra to say whenever things are going bad.

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power,

and the glory forever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-13

Every Christian knows these verses, but very few look at them. This is not a prayer; it is an

outline for a proper prayer. Jesus was not on His knees before heaven praying aloud. He was

teaching his followers how to conduct themselves before God. If they did not learn how to properly


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speak with God, they would not get much out of their relationship with Him. If they did nothing but ask

the Creator for wants and needs whenever they spoke with Him, without repentance for past sins, it

would not go over as well. God is still our Father, and will fulfill our needs within His time frame, but

sin is a blot on our relationship. It creates distance from God, and forgiveness is the only thing that

can bring us together again. I will diagram a proper prayer for you using these verses.

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Matthew 6:9

The first thing Christ taught us was to start off by praising God, the Father. This is the correct,

not to mention right, thing to do when speaking with God. He created us all, and everything around

us. We need to constantly remind ourselves of that, and we can do that by praying properly. He

deserves to be praised every time we open our minds and hearts to Him, and He expects this from

us. This is our duty as Christians. This is the reason of our creation. If we do not praise Him, were

told the stones would immediately cry out. Luke 19:40

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10

Weve got to pray in the will of God. We may pray that nothing bad happens to us, but if God

has a plan for you, theres nothing we can say to change that. I believe God has a plan for everyone

He calls son or daughter, and it depends on us as to how we get there, but the end result will usually

be the same. Picture a fork in the road youve been traveling. Both roads stretch off into the distance,

and both look the same. You dont know whats at the end of either one. If youre speaking with God,

He will tell you the best road to take. He will tell you the road with the least amount of misery on it,

because He loves you and does not want to see you suffer. If you choose not to follow His advice,

and take the opposing road, you may find yourself with a few more bruises and scratches when you


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come to the end of it, which is the same place the easier road led. Alternately, you may come upon a

dead end taking the other road, and have to turn around to go forward. In the end, though, for all sons

and daughters of God, He crafts our journey. We may choose to take another route, but He will bring

us to where we need to be in the end.

Give us this day our daily bread. Matthew 6:11

Only at this point, after praising God, and praying through His will, should we ask for anything.

God knows our needs. He will provide us with the basic necessities of life, and we will never go

hungry if we are in His will. Those who do go hungry are similar to earthly children who are too

prideful to return to their fathers house. This works both spiritually and physically. Our Fathers house

in heaven will always be available to us to fulfill our spiritual needs, and He will see to our physical

needs as well, as any good Father would. You have to be His child for Him to be your Father, though.

Before we become Christians, were the same as the neighbors children. Sure, your neighbor will

watch over your children occasionally, but theyre not obligated to. God is not obligated to be provider

to anyone who is not His child. What He does provide when we are lost is strictly because of the love

He feels for us all.

James 4:2-3 says ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye

ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. In other words, the reason God doesnt give you

everything you ask for is because you ask for the wrong reason, or have no need of it. Why should

He respond to a prayer to increase your income if He knows how youre going to spend it? He knows

ahead of time if youre going to take this extra money and give it to the church, gamble it away at the

boat, or buy an unneeded extra toy that youve been wanting. He already says He will provide our

needs, so asking Him for something other than what we need to live on needs to be for the right

reason. If He makes you a millionaire, He expects His cut, you know.


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And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Matthew 6:12

Here is one of the most important parts of prayer that is skipped all too often. Repentance is

considered too personal to say out loud, and so when your deacon gets up in front of everyone, he

rarely asks forgiveness of sins in his speech - I meant to say prayer. So not only is this prayer

against Bible teachings against praying for others to hear, but the outline isnt even followed. Im not

saying Ive never heard a person speak a prayer and ask for forgiveness, but I am saying it is not a

frequent occurrence.

Without asking forgiveness for sins that keep us from God, how can we expect God to fulfill our

prayer requests? Would you loan someone five dollars if theyve just slapped you in the face and said

nothing about it? This is no different than asking God to heal your sick mother when you havent

spoken to Him in fifteen years. Sure, He might do it out of His love for us, but if we dont even bother

repenting of what weve done, why should He? He is not a genie of the lamp who says Your wish is

my command, and yet this is the way we treat Him more often than not. We forget our place all too

often, and let repentance fall by the wayside. After all, we dont want to ask forgiveness in front of the

whole church. Then they might wonder what sins weve committed, hence the whole idea against

corporate prayer. God knew what He was talking about.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power,

and the glory, forever. Amen. Matthew 6:13

Asking the Father for your growth as a Christian should always be in your prayers. Lead us not

into temptation is the same as asking for strength to withstand temptation. Everyone will be tempted.

Even Jesus Himself was tempted in the wilderness. Its how you respond to the temptation that marks

you as a Christian. How you respond is your spiritual fruit that lets people know the type of person

you really are, because there is always someone watching. Deliver us from evil is letting God know


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that it is only by His power we can withstand temptation to begin with. We are sinful by nature, and

sin calls to sin. We cant help ourselves. How many times have you said that to someone? I cant

help myself. It is a fundamental truth that we, pitiful people we are, even as Christians, can not help

ourselves. The only help we can give ourselves is to ask God for His help. Thats it. We have no

strength without Him, and its time we started realizing it.

The end of the verse, and therefore outline for prayer, goes back to the beginning of the

prayer. Youre supposed to end on praising Him, just as you started your prayer praising Him. There

can never be enough praise of God. He expects us to do what were created to do. We need to start

and finish a prayer with praise because we tend to forget just how great God really is. Oh, we may

give lip service to Him plenty of times, but how long has it been since youve really been in awe of

God? Awe is something that is supposed to be for God, not for watching someone play sports. How

many have times have you heard the term awesome? Its usually indicating a great play by a sports

team, or talking about an energy drink, but this word is something we need to associate with the

Creator. He is the only one who we should be in awe of.

Without praying a proper prayer, how can we really expect God to respond to us? Do we really

expect God to just say, Aw, shucks. Its the thought that counts!? This is the Creator God of the

universe, not some teacher grading on a curve. This truly is His world, and were just living in it. Its

not ego when you truly deserve praise.

This is our Father, who loves us very much. He wants to talk with us. He wants us to be able to

hear Him, but were so caught up in our own lives that we dont. We think about Him once or twice a

week for a few hours a day, and then were off to the buffet lines, glad to be rid of the itchy tie and

jacket were convinced into wearing to church. After all, we must look our best for God, right? I ask

this question though: If you must wear a suit or dress to praise God, why not wear one every hour of

the day? Were supposed to pray without ceasing, and instead we convince ourselves that looking

good makes up the difference!


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Prayer is the most important part of our relationship with God. It is the trunk of the tree from

which all other disciplines of Christianity are supposed to grow from. Without proper prayer, the rest

of the tree is weak, and subject to falling off occasionally. Its only when we return to prayer, and

thereby the roots of our lives in God, that we can be closer to Him again.

03) grow up! are you a child of god or a man of god? chapter two

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