Brief Contents

PREFACE�xix

PART ONE: FOUNDATIONS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

CHAPTER 1: Interpersonal Process�1

CHAPTER 2: Interpersonal Communication in a Changing World:

Culture and Social Networking�28

CHAPTER 3: Communication and the Self�64

CHAPTER 4: Perceiving Others�106

PART TWO: CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES

CHAPTER 5: Language�140

CHAPTER 6: Nonverbal Communication�174

CHAPTER 7: Listening: Receiving and Responding�208

CHAPTER 8: Emotions�244

PART THREE: DIMENSIONS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

CHAPTER 9: Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships�278

CHAPTER 10: Communication Climate�310

CHAPTER 11: Managing Confl ict�348

CHAPTER 12: Interpersonal Contexts: Friends, Family, and

Intimate Relationships�382

GLOSSARY�G-1

REFERENCES�R-1

CREDITS�C-1

AUTHOR INDEX�AI-1

SUBJECT INDEX�SI-1

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Contents

PREFACE�xix

PART ONE: FOUNDATIONS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 1

CHAPTER 1

Interpersonal Process�1

Why We Communicate�3

� Physical Needs�4

� Identity Needs�5

� Social Needs�6

� Practical Needs�7

The Communication Process�8

� A Model of Communication�8

� Insights from the Transactional Communication Model�9

� Communication Principles�11

� Communication Misconceptions�13

Interpersonal Communication Defi ned�15

� Quantitative and Qualitative Defi nitions�15

� Personal and Impersonal Communication: A Matter of Balance�17

Communication Competence�19

� Communication Competence Defi ned�20

� Characteristics of Competent Communication�22

Summary�25

Key Terms�26

Activities�26

FEATURES

AT WORK: COMMUNICATION AND CAREER ADVANCEMENT�7

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH DAILY CONVERSATIONS�19

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: HOW TO (NOT) ANTAGONIZE YOUR PROFESSOR: ADAPTING

E-MESSAGES�22

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: EXCESSIVE SELF-MONITORING DISCOURAGES INTIMACY�24

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viii�CONTENTS

CHAPTER 2

Interpersonal Communication in a Changing World: Culture and Social Networking�28

Interpersonal Communication in a Diverse World�29

Fundamentals of Culture�29

� Culture and Co-culture�31

� Intercultural Communication�33

� Interpersonal and Intercultural Communication�34

� Cultural Diff erences as Generalizations�35

Cultural Values and Norms�36

� High versus Low Context�36

� Individualism versus Collectivism�38

� Power Distance�39

� Uncertainty Avoidance�40

� Achievement versus Nurturing�41

Codes and Culture�41

� Verbal Codes�42

� Nonverbal Codes�44

� Decoding Messages�45

Developing Intercultural Communication Competence�48

� Motivation and Attitude�48

� Tolerance for Ambiguity�48

� Open-mindedness�49

� Knowledge and Skill�50

Social Media in a Changing World�51

Characteristics of Social Media �52

� Message Richness�52

� Synchronicity�53

� Permanence�54

Social Media and Relational Quality�54

Communicating Competently with Social Media�56

� Be Careful What You Post�56

� Be Considerate�57

Summary�60

Key Terms�61

Activities�62

FEATURES

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: FITTING IN: PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES AND ORGANIZATIONAL

CULTURES�32

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: ALONE TOGETHER�52

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: LESS CAN BE MORE: WHEN ONLINE PARTNERS MEET IN PERSON�55

AT WORK: CHOOSING A COMMUNICATION CHANNEL�58

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CONTENTS�ix

CHAPTER 3

Communication and the Self�64

Communication and the Self-Concept�66

� How the Self-Concept Develops�67

� Characteristics of the Self-Concept�70

� The Self-Fulfi lling Prophecy and Communication�73

� Changing Your Self-Concept�76

Presenting the Self: Communication as Identity Management�77

� Public and Private Selves�78

� Characteristics of Identity Management�79

� Why Manage Impressions?�81

� How Do We Manage Impressions?�82

� Identity Management and Honesty�84

Disclosing the Self: What to Reveal?�85

� Models of Self-Disclosure�87

� Benefi ts and Risks of Self-Disclosure�90

� Guidelines for Self-Disclosure�94

� Alternatives to Self-Disclosure�96

Summary�101

Key Terms�102

Activities�103

FEATURES

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: BODY IMAGE AND THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT�68

AT WORK: IDENTITY MANAGEMENT IN THE WORKPLACE�80

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: BATTLING ADDICTIONS THROUGH SELF-DISCLOSURE�95

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DISCLOSING IDENTITY INFORMATION—OFFLINE VS. ONLINE�96

CHAPTER 4

Perceiving Others�106

The Perception Process�109

� Reality Is Constructed�109

� Steps in the Perception Process�111

Infl uences on Perception�116

� Physiological Infl uences�116

� Psychological Infl uences�118

� Social Infl uences�119

� Cultural Infl uences�122

Common Tendencies in Perception�124

� We Make Snap Judgments�124

� We Cling to First Impressions�126

� We Judge Ourselves More Charitably than We Do Others�127

� We Are Infl uenced by Our Expectations�128

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x�CONTENTS

� We Are Infl uenced by the Obvious�128

� We Assume Others Are Like Us�129

Synchronizing Our Perceptions�130

� Perception Checking�130

� Building Empathy�132

Summary�136

Key Terms�137

Activities�137

FEATURES

AT WORK: SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND PERCEPTION�120

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: ETHNICITY SHAPES PERCEPTIONS�122

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DOES HONESTY HURT? RECEIVERS SAY “YES,” SENDERS SAY “NO”�127

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: WHEN EMPATHY GOES OVERBOARD�133

PART TWO: CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES 140

CHAPTER 5

Language�140

The Nature of Language�142

� Language Is Symbolic�142

� Language Is Rule-Governed�143

� Language Is Subjective�145

� Language and Worldview�146

The Impact of Language�148

� Naming and Identity�148

� Affi liation�149

� Power�150

� Sexism and Racism�152

Uses (and Abuses) of Language�155

� Precision and Vagueness�155

� The Language of Responsibility�161

� Disruptive Language�165

Gender and Language�167

� Extent of Gender Diff erences�167

� Accounting for Gender Diff erences�169

Summary�170

Key Terms�171

Activities�172

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CONTENTS�xi

FEATURES

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: “I DON’T MEAN TO ANTAGONIZE YOU, BUT…”�152

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: THE INCIVILITY OF HATE SPEECH�156

AT WORK: SWEARING ON THE JOB�164

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: GENDER DIFFERENCES IN INSTANT MESSAGES �169

CHAPTER 6

Nonverbal Communication�174

Nonverbal Communication Defi ned�177

Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication�177

� All Behavior Has Communicative Value�178

� Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational�179

� Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous�180

� Nonverbal Communication Is Infl uenced by Culture and Gender�181

Functions of Nonverbal Communication�182

� Creating and Maintaining Relationships�183

� Regulating Interaction�183

� Infl uencing Others�186

� Concealing/Deceiving�186

� Managing Identity�188

Types of Nonverbal Communication�189

� Body Movement�189

� Touch�193

� Voice�194

� Distance�197

� Territoriality�199

� Time�199

� Physical Attractiveness�201

� Clothing�202

� Physical Environment�203

Summary�204

Key Terms�205

Activities�205

FEATURES

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: POWER POSING�191

AT WORK: TOUCH AND CAREER SUCCESS�192

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: ACCENTS AND STIGMAS�195

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: IT’S ABOUT TIME: THE COSTS OF DELAYED RESPONSES�200

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xii�CONTENTS

CHAPTER 7

Listening: Receiving and Responding�208

The Nature of Listening�210

� The Importance of Listening�210

� Listening Defi ned�211

� Reasons for Listening�214

The Challenge of Listening�216

� Listening Is Not Easy�216

� All Listeners Do Not Receive the Same Message�218

� Poor Listening Habits�218

Components of Listening�219

� Hearing�219

� Attending�220

� Understanding�221

� Remembering�221

� Responding�222

Types of Listening Responses�222

� Silent Listening�223

� Questioning�224

� Paraphrasing�227

� Empathizing�229

� Supporting�231

� Analyzing�235

� Evaluating�235

� Advising�236

� Which Style to Use?�237

Summary�240

Key Terms�241

Activities�241

FEATURES

AT WORK: LISTENING ON THE JOB�212

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DIVIDED ATTENTION: PHONING WHILE DRIVING�217

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: HEARING LOSS AND RELATIONAL STRESS�219

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: BLOGGING AS SOCIAL SUPPORT FOR THE MORBIDLY OBESE�233

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CONTENTS�xiii

CHAPTER 8

Emotions�244

What Are Emotions?�247

� Physiological Changes�248

� Nonverbal Reactions�248

� Cognitive Interpretations�250

� Verbal Expression�250

Infl uences on Emotional Expression�252

� Personality�252

� Culture�252

� Gender�255

� Social Conventions and Roles�255

� Fear of Self-Disclosure�257

� Emotional Contagion�257

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions�258

� Recognize Your Feelings�258

� Choose the Best Language�259

� Share Multiple Feelings�261

� Recognize the Diff erence between Feeling and Acting�262

� Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings�262

� Choose the Best Time and Place to Express Your Feelings�262

Managing Diffi cult Emotions�263

� Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions�263

� Thoughts Cause Feelings�264

� Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions�266

� Minimizing Debilitative Emotions�271

Summary�274

Key Terms�275

Activities�275

FEATURES

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: EMOTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE�249

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SAYING “I LOVE YOU”: DIFFERENT CULTURES, DIFFERENT RULES�253

AT WORK: EMOTION LABOR ON THE JOB�254

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: WHEN JEALOUSY REARS ITS HEAD�273

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xiv�CONTENTS

PART THREE: DIMENSIONS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 278

CHAPTER 9

Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships�278

Why We Form Relationships�280

� Appearance�281

� Similarity�282

� Complementarity�283

� Rewards�283

� Competency�285

� Proximity�285

� Disclosure�286

Communication and Relational Dynamics�287

� Developmental Models of Interpersonal Relationships�287

� Dialectical Perspectives on Relational Dynamics�295

Communicating About Relationships�301

� Content and Relational Messages�301

� Expression of Relational Messages�302

Repairing Damaged Relationships�303

� Types of Relational Transgressions�304

� Strategies for Relational Repair�305

� Forgiving Transgressions�306

Summary�307

Key Terms�308

Activities�308

FEATURES

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: ABUSING THOSE WHO DISCLOSE�286

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: OPENING LINES: INITIATING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS�288

AT WORK: SOCIAL CAPITAL AND CAREER ADVANCEMENT�296

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: REEL TO REAL?: RELATIONAL COMMUNICATION IN ROMANTIC

COMEDIES�303

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CONTENTS�xv

CHAPTER 10

Communication Climate�310

What Is Communication Climate?�312

How Communication Climates Develop�313

� Levels of Message Confi rmation�314

� Defensiveness�321

� Climate Patterns�323

Creating Positive Climates�325

� Reducing Defensiveness�325

� Off ering Constructive Criticism�332

Transforming Negative Climates�334

� Seek More Information�334

� Agree with the Critic�338

Summary�344

Key Terms�345

Activities�346

FEATURES

AT WORK: TAKE THIS JOB AND LOVE IT�314

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: CYBERBULLYING: ELECTRONIC CHARACTER ASSASSINATION�317

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SAVING FACE WHILE DELIVERING BAD NEWS�322

CHAPTER 11

Managing Confl ict�348

What Is Confl ict?�351

� Expressed Struggle�351

� Perceived Incompatible Goals�351

� Perceived Scarce Resources�352

� Interdependence�352

� Inevitability�352

Functional and Dysfunctional Confl icts�353

� Integration versus Polarization�354

� Cooperation versus Opposition�354

� Confi rmation versus Disconfi rmation�355

� Agreement versus Coercion�355

� De-escalation versus Escalation�355

� Focusing versus Drifting�355

� Foresight versus Shortsightedness�356

� Positive versus Negative Results�357

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Confl ict Styles�357

� Avoidance (Lose-Lose)�358

� Accommodation (Lose-Win)�360

� Competition (Win-Lose)�361

� Compromise (Negotiated Lose-Lose)�362

� Collaboration (Win-Win)�363

� Which Style to Use?�367

Confl ict in Relational Systems�367

� Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles�368

� Toxic Confl ict: The “Four Horsemen”�370

� Confl ict Rituals�371

Variables in Confl ict Styles�372

� Gender�372

� Culture�374

Confl ict Management in Practice�375

Summary�379

Key Terms�380

Activities�380

FEATURES

AT WORK: THIRD-PARTY DISPUTE RESOLUTION�356

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: WHEN SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN�360

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: ATTACHMENT STYLES AND RELATIONAL CONFLICT�369

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES SHAPE CONFLICT OUTCOMES �376

CHAPTER 12

Interpersonal Contexts: Friends, Family, and Intimate Relationships�382

Communication in Friendships�384

� Types of Friendships�384

� Friendships, Gender, and Communication�386

� Communication in Successful Friendships�389

Communication in the Family�391

� Creating the Family Through Communication�392

� Patterns of Family Communication�393

� Types of Family Relationships�396

� Eff ective Communication in Families�399

Communication in Intimate Relationships�402

� Dimensions of Intimacy�402

� Gender and Intimacy�404

� Culture and Intimacy�405

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CONTENTS�xvii

� Social Media and Intimacy�406

� Commitment in Intimate Relationships�406

� Maintaining Intimate Relationships�408

Summary�409

Key Terms�409

Activities�409

FEATURES

AT WORK: CAN WOMEN BE COWORKERS AND FRIENDS?�388

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: THE COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES OF NOT-SO-

CASUAL SEX�389

DARK SIDE OF COMMUNICATION: VIRTUALLY UNFAITHFUL: EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY IN

CYBERSPACE�407

FOCUS ON RESEARCH: MAINTAINING MARRIAGES THROUGH FLIRTING�408

GLOSSARY�G-1

REFERENCES�R-1

CREDITS�C-1

AUTHOR INDEX�AI-1

SUBJECT INDEX�SI-1

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