Conflict Management Resolution StrategiesBullyingDecision MakingPeer Pressure/Refusal SkillsGoal Setting

“I’m SO Angry!”

Which movie to go see Cut off in traffic Someone spreading rumors ‘Stay at home mom’ or a career How late you can stay at a party Spending money How and where to spend your time Parents disagree with clothes/ hairstyle Can’t go to a school event because it falls on a

religious holiday You were excluded from a group

“What are we so mad about anyway?(examples)

◦ Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals.

◦ Conflicts can be an exchange of words◦ Group confrontations can be ongoing◦ Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious

What is Conflict

Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!

1. Resources: something usable, such as goods , property, money or time.

Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, which restaurant, flu shot dispensed, study or go mall with mom, fighting over the

computer…

2. Values: your beliefs and ideas you consider important

Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics,

3. Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile

4. examples??? Left out, dis-respected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…

What Causes Conflict?

3 major reasons

Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe.

Answer the following questions in your notes.

1.What was it about?2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional)

3. Was it resolved? Explain.

Activity

Managing my Anger/ConflictIf I learn to manage my

anger then…If I don’t and conflicts get

out of hand then…

Release frustrations of life.

Calls Attention to Problems

Helps us understand self and other’s values

Increases motivation to take action

Brings about change Healthier relationships

Anger can build and boil over

Can lead to violence Irrational thinking Not pleasant to be

around Lead to depression

(esp.boys)

Write the following names on your paper. Leave some space under each.

ABIGAIL GREG SLUG

SINBAD THE SAILOR ABIGAIL’S MOM

Activity #1

Qualities, characteristics or ideas about which we feel strongly.

Our values affect our decisions, goals, and behavior.

Values make us feel and believe someone or something is worthwhile.

Values define what is of worth, what is beneficial or harmful.

Values are standards that guide your action, judgments and attitudes.

What Are Values?

Give direction and consistency to behavior Values help you know what to and to make time

for Values establish a relationship between you and

the world Values set the direction for one’ life

Values are like a map

Home School Society Friends TV Church Music Books Families Culture

Employers Time period you were

raised in

Where do we get Values?

1. honesty ----truthful and sincere 2. integrity ----being consistent with beliefs3. trustworthiness ---keep promises/ fulfill commitment 4. loyalty ---provide support and commitment based on ethical

needs5. fairness ----committed to justice, equal treatment, and respect

for diversity 6. caring ---concern for well being of an individual, self, and

environment 7. respect ----confidence in beliefs and values and knowledge you

understand and support the rights in others to express their beliefs

8. responsibility ----contribution to society in a positive way and encourages participation of others

9. pursuit of excellence ----pride in work, best effort, and reflection of work

10. accountability ----consider and accept the impact and consequences of personal actions and decisions

Common Universal Values

Personal ( never curse, exercise everyday)

Family ( kids have chores, eat at table every night)

Work ( punctuality, hard worker, loyal) Moral ( do the right thing, i.e. find

money) Spiritual ( church every week, marry

someone same faith) Monetary ( spendthrift, saver)

…Types of Values

Ages 1-7------parents

Ages 8-13-----teachers, heroes(sports TV)

Ages 14-20----peers( values because of peers or peers because of values?

Ages 21+---your values are established, but you may test your values from time to time.

Your age greatly influences your values.Different people and things influence you at different ages.

You were just presented with a check for:

$1,000.00 List all the things you would do with the

money.

Activity #2

List several things you did during the past week.

**How you spend your time reflects your values too!

Activity #3

Hypocrite- One who subscribes to one set of values,

and does another.

Immaturity- one who has not defined their values, flighty, drifters, uncertain

Maturity-clear values, life of purpose, meaning and direction

10 unfinished sentences assignment. Answer individually then out loud to a

group. Write down all the answers and the values

they represent.

Assignment

Calm Down cool down

Take a time out:

Attack the Problem not the person No name calling or put downs

“hmmm how would I feel”Ask Questions

Let each person ask questions to understand their point of view

Make a list Find a middle ground Find a creative solution

Keep brainstorming reasonable ways to handle the situation

Explain how his or actions make you feel

“I Feel…”

If you cannot resolve problem yourself.

Ask for Help

 

Take a time out        to calm down and think through my anger.

  Allow each person to tell his or her side       then paraphrase the other persons position.

Let each person ask questions       in order to view the issue from the others point of

view.

  Keep brainstorming solutions       either to find the middle ground or creative solution  

Effective Conflict Management or Resolution Strategies T.A.L.K.

1. Identify the Problem◦ (Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and

who else if anyone is involved) What are the choices

◦ (List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.) Gather Information- what’s helpful to know before making a

decision

Consider outcomes and values ◦ (honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options ◦ H.E.L.P. (Healthful Ethical Legal and Parent approval)

Make a decision and act. ◦ (Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the

impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.) Evaluate your decision

◦ (Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself and what could you do differently)

Decision-making skills

Make a list of different ways people communicate.

Pre Game-Warm Up

Skills don’t just happen…Need to practice!

Start and Keep Relationships strong

Help people grow closer( shared interests..)

Vital to many areas of your life (Teacher –student / work place, marriages)

The Importance of Communicating

What is communication?

What is body language and why should I care?

How can I communicate better?

Identify ways of being a good listener

Communicate using “I messages”

Practicing Communication Skills

Communication:The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs

and wants between two or more people.

Communication Skills

Communication Skills

Non Verbal (without words)

Tone of VoiceIt’s not what you say…

It’s HOW you say it‘thank you.’ “THANK you!”“Thank Yoooooo???”

Body LanguageGestures

Facial expressionsposture

Sometimes verbal and non verbal messages can send two different messages. For that reason, be aware of the non verbal messages you send=

MIXED MESSAGE: occurs when your words say one thing but

your body language says another. (i.e. “sorry” while grinning) What does that tell the other person? Other examples??????

Communication Skills

You Messages: (blame /aggressive)“You can’t do anything right!”

I Messages- A statement that presents a situation from the speaker’s personal feelings/viewpoint:

“I’m mad because I wanted to work on the project together”

Communication Skills

Effective Verbal Communication:

Speaking Skills Listening Skills

Be clear Eye Contact Use “I messages” Pay attention Stay Calm Lean

forward-’really?’ Stick to the point THINK first-then… Choose the right time/place Ask open Questions Be aware of tone and B Language

Communication Skills

Active Listening is hearing, thinking about and responding to the other person’s message.

More Listening Tips!1. Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don’t be

thinking about what you are going to say next or interrupt. 2. Nod your head to show you are listening- give feed back”(then

what happened?”3. Let the person finish speaking!4. Stay calm- even if you’re hearing something you don’t like5. Keep an open mind; Listen even if you disagree accept that

others won’t always think the same way you do.

ppt

  Pressure pushed toward making a certain choice.

  A Peer is someone in your own age group.

  Peer Pressure someone your own age, is pushing you

toward making a certain choice

Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills

Spoken vs. Unspoken

Peer Pressure

Spoken: Something said to you directly

Unspoken: When you feel you are supposed to do something

Sometime the internal pressure we put on ourselves can be the hardest!!

Saying NO to ourselves can be difficult.

Tears down self confidence over time.

Creates more drama and stress!

“…what should I be doing/ wearing…?????

Examples of Positive

Peer  Pressure

•Honor Roll•    •Make a team/club•  Follow the rules•  Respect others• Group Fitness• Running group

Examples of Negative

Peer Pressure

•  Underage drinking/smoking• Gossiping • Stealing•  Fighting•  Bullying•Ditching a friend

I ….

List reasons it is difficult to say no…

…  want to be accepted and liked by people my own age.

… are afraid of being rejected  …don’t want to lose a friend

…  want to appear grown up

…  don’t want to be made fun of

…don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings

…  aren’t sure of what they really want

…  don’t know how to get out of the situation

(Spoken Pressure)

PUT DOWN Insulting or name calling to make someone feel

bad

Peer Pressure Bag of tricks

REASONING Giving reasons to do something or why it

would be OK

(Spoken pressure)

REJECTION

Threatening to leave someone out or end a friendship

(spoken pressure)

THE HUDDLE

A GROUP STANDS TOGETHER LAUGHING OR TALKING, WITH THEIR BACKS TO OTHERS

(UNSPOKEN)

The EXAMPLEPopular kids simply buy or wear something, because they set an example, others want to follow

(unspoken)

THE LOOK

Kids who think they’re cool give a look that means: we’re cool, and you’re not”

(Unspoken pressure)

S.T.O.P.Say no in a firm voiceTell why notOffer other ideasPromptly leave

Refusal and Negotiation Skills

“Everyone’s Doing it” You’re wrong… I’m not doing it” “ A real friend would do it” “A real friend wouldn't ask”“Are you afraid?”“No, just smart”

Refusal Responses

Aggressive: Overly forceful, pushy, hostile

PassiveGiving up, giving in, backing down, easy to

persuade.

Assertive Confidence and clearly stating your

intentions

A clear message depends on the way you communicate

◦ Conflict is a normal part of most relationships because people have different perspectives and priorities

◦ People can also be hurtful to each other because of thoughtlessness, annoyance, poor boundaries, and experimenting with negative uses of their power without realizing the impact

Conflict vs. Bullying

Bullying – a more powerful person who picks on a less powerful person or group of persons.◦ Forms of bullying

Including physical threats or violence; name-calling and teasing; ostracism; and social attacks on someone’s reputation

People can bully others directly, in person; indirectly, such as by gossiping or ‘badmouthing’ by voice to others; or through any form of communication technology including talking on the phone, writing, texting, emailing, tweeting, facebook (and other social media), and recording

Bullying

Steps to reduce cyber bullying 1. Do not respond or reply electronically2. Save the evidence3. Tell a trusted adult4. Report the issue to the cite

Cyber Bullying

1. Tell an Adult.

2. Reach Out to the Victim

3. Stand up to the Bully.

3 things you can do to stop bullying: