· web viewpolly:mrs richards, mr thurston – mr thurston, mrs richards! mr thurston is the...
TRANSCRIPT
1Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Fawlty Towers
Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Guest: Number 17, please!
Basil Fawlty: That’ll be fine, thank you!
Sybil Fawlty: Goodbye – _________________________! Hello, Fawlty Towers! Oh, hello,
Mr Hawkins!
Polly Sherman: ______________________________________________________, then!
Guest: __________________!
Syb: Well _____________________________, Mr Hawkins!
Polly: Sorry to keep you!
Mr Yardley: That’s all right - er, you do accept cheques?
Polly: _________________________________, yes!
Syb: Well, _______________________________________________! Yes – no, no,
___________________________________! Goodbye! Oh, Polly!
Polly: Mm?
Syb: Brenda can’t start till Monday – so _______________________________
____________________________?
Polly: Oh, no – ____________________________________!
Syb: Oh, ______________!
Polly: ________________! Thank you, Mr Yardley! Oh, hello –
______________________?
Mr Thurston: Yes!
Alice Richards: __________! _________________________________________, please?
Polly: _______________________ – _____________________________________
_______________! Yes, Mr Thurston?
Rich: ____________?
Thur: Thank you – ____________________________ if you could help-
Rich: _______________________________________!
Polly: ___________________! ______________________________________!
Rich: But _____________________________________! Surely _____________________
_______________________ if you just give me change!
2Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Polly: _____________?
Thur: No, no – ___________________!
Rich: Thank you!
Polly: ____________________!
Thur: Can you tell me how to get to Glendower Street?
Rich: Now – I’ve booked a room and bath
________________________________________!
Polly: Glendower Street?
Thur: Yes!
Rich: _______________________________________!
Polly: Mrs-?
Rich: Mrs Richards – Mrs Alice Richards!
Polly: Mrs Richards, Mr Thurston – Mr Thurston, Mrs Richards! Mr Thurston is the
gentleman ________________________________________!
Rich: __________?
Polly: _______________________________________ I’m attend-
Rich: _____________________ – _____________________!
Polly: Mr Thurston ___________________________, Mrs Richards!
Rich: ______________________________!
Polly: ___________________________, but I hadn’t finished dealing with him! Now
Glendower Street is just on-
Rich: _____________________________________________________? Really, this is the
most appalling service I’ve ever-
Polly: What a good idea! Manuel – could you ____________________________
________________________ in connection with her reservation?
Rich: Now – ___________________________________________ with a bath and a sea
view! I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation – so
___________________________________!
Manuel: Qué?
Rich: ___________?
Man: Qué?
Rich: ____?
Man: Sí!
3Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Rich: ____? ___________? ___________? ____________________________________?
Man: No, no, no, no! Qué – what!
Rich: K Watt?
Man: Sí - qué – what!
Rich: C. K. Watt?
Man: Yes!
Rich: Who is C. K. Watt?
Man: Qué?
Rich: ______________________________, Mr Watt?
Man: Oh, manacher! Ah, Mr Fawlty!
Rich: _____________?
Man: Fawlty!
Rich: ___________________________________, ___________________________?
_______________________________? _____________________________, and he
tells me the manager’s a Mr Watt ____________________!
Man: No, no, no, no – Fawlty!
Rich: _______________? ______________________________________?
Polly: It’s all right, Mrs Richards, he’s from Barcelona!
Rich: ________________________________________?
Man: No, no, no – he is from Swanage!
Polly: And you’re in 22!
Rich: ____________?
Polly: _________________________! Manuel, ______________________________, will
you?
Man: Sí!
Firkin: Very nice stay, Mr Fawlty!
Bas: Ah, _______________________________! Polly, would you get Mr Firkin’s bill,
please? Well, ______________________________________________?
Firk: Oh, __________________________________!
Bas: Oh!
Firk: You’re not by any chance a betting man, Mr Fawlty?
Bas: Er – well ___________________, but-
Firk: Only there’s a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon!
4Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: ________________?
Firk: Dragonfly! Ah!
Bas: Dragonfly?
Firk: Yeah – it’s well worth a flutter – but pay the tax on it before you-
Bas: Well, __________________________________________, yes!
Firk: Very nice!
Bas: _____________________________________________________!
Firk: Well, there you are!
Bas: __________________!
Firk: Bye, Mrs Fawlty!
Syb: Goodbye, Mr Firkin!
Bas: _______________________________ – we should have him stuffed!
Firk: Oh Mr Fawlty! ___________________, ______________, ____________________!
Right?
Bas: Yes, good luck – jolly, ____________________________________! Morning,
Major!
Major Gowen: _____________________, Fawlty!
Bas: ________, ____________?
Syb: What was that about ____________________________________, Basil?
Bas: Oh, _______________________________________, I expect! I- You’re looking very
spruce this morning, Major!
Maj: Saint George’s Day, old boy!
Bas: _____________?
Maj: _________________, ____________? __________________?
Bas: Erm, ______________________, dear? The –
Syb: _______________________, Major!
Bas: Ah – that’s it!
Maj: Going to have a flutter, Fawlty?
Bas: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Syb: No, Basil ____________________________, Major, do you, dear?
Bas: No, ____________, ____________, no – no, that particular avenue of pleasure has
been closed off!
Syb: And _______________________________________________, do we, Basil?
5Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: No, _____________, ___________ – no! The great warning off of May the eighth –
yes, good old Saint George, eh, Major?
Maj: Mm?
Bas: Well he killed a hideous, fire breathing old dragon, didn’t he?
Polly: Ran it through with a lance, ___________________!
Man: Mr Fawlty – Mr Fawlty – is, is Mrs er, – room no like – she want speak to you,
_______________________!
Bas: Ah, ever seen my wife _____________________, Polly? (hard breathing sounds)
Maj: Why, ____________________________ anyway, Fawlty?
Bas: I don’t know, Major – ___________________________________!
Maj: ________________________? But _______________________________________
_________, did he? I mean, he could have er, just ___________________________
___________________!
Man: Ah, here-
Bas: Good morning, madam, ________________________?
Rich: _______________________________?
Bas: _______________________, madam!
Rich: _____________?
Bas: ________________________!
Rich: _____________________________________!
Bas: ___________________________________!
Rich: __________?
Bas: _____________________________________!
Man: Manacher – he manacher!
Rich: Oh – you’re Watt!
Bas: ____________________________!
Rich: ____________?
Bas: ____________________________!
Rich: Yes, I know – ______________________________ – ______________________
________? Now _________________________ – I booked a room with a bath!
When I book a room with a bath, __________________________________!
Bas: _____________________________!
Rich: ________________________________________________ – plus VAT for a room
6Episode 7 – Communication Problems
___________________________!
Bas: _______________________________!
Rich: ______________________________? It’s not big enough to drown a mouse –
_______________________________!
Bas: ____________________________ - I’d show you!
Rich: ________________________ – _________________________________________!
Bas: __________, _________, _________________ ! Er, ___________________
________________________________, madam! Yes, yes, this is it!
Rich: When I pay for a view,
__________________________________________________!
Bas: That is Torquay, madam!
Rich: ___________________________________!
Bas: Well may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay ____________
________________________? ____________________________________,
perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping
majestically-
Rich: ___________________ – _______________________________________________!
Bas: __________________________ – ___________________________________
______________________!
Rich: ___________________________________________!
Bas: Well may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel
________________________?
________________________________!
Rich: Right! Now – _____________________! ____________________________, ___
______________________________ – however, I shall expect a reduction!
Bas: Why? Because Krakatoa’s not erupting at the moment, or-
Rich: Because _______________________, ___________________________, _________
________________, and ______________________________________!
Bas: No, _______________________ – ___________________!
Rich: What?
Bas: I’ll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat!
____________________________________!
Rich: ____________?
Bas: ___________________________________________!
7Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Rich: ____________________________?
Man: Qué?
Bas: Madam, don’t think me rude, but may I ask, __________________________
__________________________?
Rich: A what?
Bas: ___________________!
Rich: Yes – __________________________________!
Bas: Would you like me to get it mended?
Rich: _____________? ________________________________________!
Bas: No, it isn’t!
Rich: ____________________________________________________!
Bas: _______________?
Rich: _________________________________! Now, what sort of a reduction are you
going to give me on this room?
Bas: Sixty percent if you turn it on!
Rich: What?
Bas: _____________________________________ – I’m sure she will be delighted to
______________________________!
Rich: _________________________________________!
Bas: __________________________________, __________________?
Rich: What?
Bas: Thank you so much –
___________________________________________________!
Bas: Manuel – Manuel!
Man: Sí?
Bas: Are you going to the betting shop today?
Man: What?
Bas: Oh, __________________________! You go betting shop today?
Man: Oh, sí – ___________________, sí, sí, sí!
Bas: Now, _____________________________________________ – Dragonfly! But –
_______________! Sybil – _______________!
8Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Syb: No, no, _________________ - it’s just a bit buttery with my skin! I think I need
something more, more topazy, for my colouring, you know – ________________!
Have you got – have you got Cosmopolitan there? Well page 42 – you see Bert
Reynolds? Well _______________________________________ looking at James
Caan – _____________________________! Mm! Lovely – all right, ___________
____________________! Oh, Polly!
Polly: Mm?
Syb: Got to check the laundry – _______________________________________________
____________?
Polly: ____________!
Man: Polly, Polly – where Mr Fawlty?
Polly: _______________ – _________________________?
Man: I have money for him – he win on horse! But ___________________ – sh! Mrs
Fawlty – sh!
Polly: Well _________________ – ______________________!
Man: Sí! Hah, hah!
Syb: _____________________, Miss Gatsby! _____________________, Miss Tibbs!
Miss Tibbs: _______________________!
Miss Gatsby: ____________________________!
Both: ________________________!
Rich: _______________________________________________, ____________________
________________________!
Gatsby: ___________________________________?
Tibbs: __________________________________!
Gatsby: Yes – ______________________________________?
Rich: Hello! Girl, ________________________________! ______________________
_________________? ____________________________________________, isn’t
it?
Polly: Well _______________________________!
Rich: ____________?
Polly: Well ___________________________________!
Rich: ____________________?
Polly: ______________________! ___________________________, or ______________
9Episode 7 – Communication Problems
____________________________________?
Rich: _________________________?
Polly: _____________________? ___________________________________________?
Rich: __________________!
Polly: Well _____________________________? Tell me!
Rich: ________________! ___________________!
Bas: Yes? _______________, ____________________!
Rich: There you are – I’ve never met such insolence in my life! ____________
___________________________________________________, and she starts asking
me the most insulting, personal things _____________________________________!
Polly: _____________________________________________________!
Rich: ___________________________, Watt!
Bas: _____________?
Rich: ___________________? _________________________________! ______________
______________________________________ – __________________________
__________________!
Bas: Yes, yes, she thought-
Rich: Then she started asking me the most-
Bas: No, no, no – please listen-
Rich: The most appalling questions about-
Bas: No, no, please, please – I can explain – no, no, you see, _____________________
__________________________!
Rich: _________________________? __________________________________________!
Bas: No, no, no – ________________________!
Rich: What?
Bas: _______________________ – ____________________!
Rich: _________________________________________________?
Bas: I’ll have some ______________________________ immediately! Manuel!
Rich: That doesn’t work either! What were you saying just now?
Bas: _____________________!
Rich: _____________?
Bas: ______________ – ________ – _____ – ________!
Rich: I can’t read that – __________________________! ______________________?
10Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Polly: ________________________, Mrs Richards!
Rich: __________________ – ________________! They’re the only pair I’ve got – _____
________________________________________!
Bas: _______________________-
Rich: Now _______________________________-
Bas: Mrs Richards – Mrs Richards-
Rich: -when I was buying the vase-
Polly: Mrs Richards!
Rich: -I put them on to look at it, and then __________________________________-
Bas: Mrs Richards! __________________________!
Rich: ____________? Well _________________________?
Bas: No, no, no! ___________________!
Rich: What?
Bas: On your – look – on your- Oh!
Polly: __________________________, Mr Fawlty! Manuel asked me ______________
________________!
Bas: What? Oh, oh – thank you, Polly – and Polly! _____________________________,
eh?
Polly: Mm!
Bas: Right!
Polly: Oh, Manuel!
Man: Yes?
Polly: Get some loo paper – muchos – for 22!
Man: I try – sí!
Rich: ________________? ______________________________________________
– __________________?
Polly: Yes!
Rich: ________________________________?
Polly: Yes – but ____________________________________________________________!
Rich: _____________________________________!
Polly: Manuel! What have you got there?
Man: _____________________!
11Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: Evening, Terry! (hums) Do you like er, Cavalleria Rusticana, Terry?
Terry: Well I’ve never had it, Mr Fawlty! _____________________________, Mr Fawlty!
Bas: Had a little bit of luck on the gee-gees, Terry – er, not a word to the trouble and strife,
eh? “Oh, the Camptown ladies sing this song, doo dah, doo dah, the Camptown
racetrack’s five miles long, doo dah, doo dah, day! Going to run all night,
___________
_______________________, going to bet my money on the bob-tailed nag” –
“______
_________________-” ______________________________ – “_________________
_____________________” – _______________!
Syb: You seem very jolly, Basil!
Bas: Mm?
Syb: ____________________________!
Bas: ____________?
Syb: Yes, ____________ – _____________ – ____________!
Bas: Oh, _____________ – yes, ______________________________ – no, not that I’ve
noticed, dear, no – I’ll report it if it happens, though!
Syb: Well _________________________________, Basil!
Bas: _____, ____________, __________!
Syb: All that ____________________________________, and rubbing your hands!
Bas: No, ____________________________________________, dear! The er, Samaritans
were engaged!
Syb: ___________________________________________! Hah!
Bas: ____________________, __________________________!
Syb: Or __________________________, or something! Did Mr Hawkins deliver the
tonics, Terry?
Terry: Yes, he did, Mrs Fawlty!
Syb: Oh, good!
Bas: Manuel, Manuel!
Man: Ah, _______________, ___________, ____________!
Bas: Sh, sh, sh! Manuel, ___________________________!
Man: ___________________, Mr Fawlty, ____________________!
12Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: What?
Man: ______________, ________________!
Bas: No, no, no, no!
Man: ____________________!
Bas: No, no, no, no, __________________________!
Man: ____________!
Bas: ____, ______________!
Man: I, _________________________________!
Bas: Sh, sh, sh, sh – _______________________________________!
Man: _________________________________________!
Bas: Yes!
Man: _________________? __________________________________________?
Bas: _______________, nitwit!
Man: _________________, Nitwit!
Bas: No, no, no – Dragonfly!
Man: ________________!
Bas: Yes, ________________!
Man: _________________________!
Bas: What?
Man: ________________________________! ________________________, I go to
betting shop-
Bas: Yes, I know, I know, I know!
Man: Then _______________________________________?
Bas: Oh, look, look, look – ______________________?
Man: Er, __________________________________?
Bas: Dragonfly! There isn’t a horse called Nitwit – ______________________!
Man: ___________________?
Bas: It doesn’t matter – look – it doesn’t matter – oh, _________________________
___________________ having this conversation – now please, please try to
understand _________________________________________!
Man: I try!
Bas: ________________________________________________________ about Nitwit!
Man: No, no – Dragonfly!
Bas: Dragonfly – yes!
13Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Man: Sí, sí, sí – heh, heh, heh! Eventually!
Bas: _________?
Man: _________________ – er, __________________!
Bas: No, no, no, no – __________________________!
Man: ___________?
Bas: Well _____________________________!
Man: _________________?
Bas: Well ________________________________________________________________!
Man: __________________ – _________________________________________! Cor!
Syb: Basil!
Bas: _______________________________! Yes, dear?
Syb: It’s Mrs Richards!
Bas: A fatal accident?
Syb: __________________________________________________!
Man: Ah, Mr Fawlty – I tell Polly!
Bas: Well- Oh, that’s all right – ______________________________________ – _______
________________! ______________________________!
Syb: Basil!
Bas: Yes, dear!
Syb: Basil – ____________________________________________ – she’s in a frightful
state – I can’t get a word in edgeways! She’s had eighty five pounds ______________
___________________ – I said we’ll search everywhere but she insists ___________
________________________ – what do you do with someone like that?
___________
_______________!
Bas: Mrs Richards! How very nice to see you –
___________________________________?
Rich: ___________________________ – _____________________________________!
Bas: Oh!
Syb: Mrs Richards, I’ve explained to my husband-
Rich: _______________________________________ – _____________________
_____________________________ – _____________________________
14Episode 7 – Communication Problems
_____________________________!
Bas: Oh, yes?
Rich: ___________________! I haven’t been here a day – ________________________
____________________________?
Syb: Mrs Richards-
Rich: If you knew anything at all about running a hotel, this sort of thing wouldn’t happen!
Well? ____________________________________________________?
Bas: (mouths silently)
Rich: What?
Syb: Basil! Don’t!
Rich: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
______________________________________________!
Syb: Basil!
Bas: I said I’ll search all-
Rich: Ooh! _______________, _________________!
Bas: Has it come away?
Syb: Oh, _______________________________?
Rich: Yes, yes!
Syb: Oh, dear – _____________________________!
Bas: ____________________________________________________________________!
Syb: ______________!
Rich: ____________________________________?
Syb: We will, ____________________________________________!
Rich: ______________________________!
Syb: Yes, yes, I know – ____________________________!
Bas: __________________________________________?
Rich: _________________________________!
Syb: Take my arm!
Rich: _______________________________________________! I can get down the stairs
perfectly well by myself!
Bas: _________________________? Oh, well, _____________________________
___________________ – keep straight on! Give my regards to the earth’s core!
Syb: ____________________________________________?
15Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: And if you give us any more trouble,
________________________________________ and put a bat up your nightdress!
Syb: Basil!
Bas: Oh, _____________________, wasn’t it, dear? The odd moment like that – it’s
almost ___________________________________, isn’t it? ____________________
_______________________, isn’t it, dear? ______________________________
________________ – I know, I read it on the back of a matchbox!
Syb: Basil, sometimes-
Bas: Seriously, Sybil, ______________________ – when we were first manacled together
– ___________________________________________!
Syb: Yes, _____________________________, Basil!
Bas: Ah, that’s true – that was a warning, wasn’t it, yes – should have spotted that,
shouldn’t I? Zoom! ________________? ______________________, mate!
Oh! ________________________, __________________________? Sorry, mate,
___________________!
Syb: Basil!
Bas: ___________________________________ – yes, dear?
Syb: _________________________________?
Bas: __________________________________?
Syb: ______________________ – do you think we should-
Bas: Oh, ___________________________, or ___________________, or eaten it or
something - we’ll get Manuel to go through the room, erm, Polly can check the
lounge-
Syb: _____________________ – __________________________________________-
Bas: Well, ____________________!
Syb: ______________________________ – __________________________________!
Bas: ______________________________________!
Syb: No, _________________________________, Basil – _______________!
Bas: Well you can’t – you can’t _____________________________, Sybil!
Syb: _______________?
Bas: Well, well it would be- it would be terribly rude, ________________
________________________________! I mean, it would be so embarrassing!
Syb: _________________, Basil!
Bas: Hello, Fawlty Towers! Polly Sherman? Yes, certainly – ______________________
16Episode 7 – Communication Problems
___________________ – ________________!
Syb: Polly!
Bas: Terry – where’s Polly?
Terry: In there!
Bas: Polly - ______________________________________!
Polly: ______________?
Bas: Sybil – __________________________________________ - she’d just come in to-
Ah, hello, dear – ________________ – __________________________! Yes, as I
was just saying, Polly, ____________________________________________ about a
slightly delicate matter –
Syb: ________________________, Basil – _____________________! He thinks it’s
embarrassing for me to ask you about ________________________________ earlier
on in the office – _______________________________________________________
– Mrs Richards has lost some!
Polly: _________________ – ___________________?
Syb: ___________________________, weren’t you – did someone hand it in?
Polly: Oh, no – no, _______________!
Syb: ___________?
Polly: _______________!
Syb: _______________?
Polly: On the horse Mr Fawlty got a tip on! ____________________________, I-
Bas: No, no, no - _______________!
Syb: _________________________________________, Polly!
Polly: Oh, I don’t – only _______________________ and ___________________
______________________ and I thought, well, ________________?
Bas: Well, ________________________, eh – _____________________________, eh,
dear? Well pity you didn’t let me put something on really – do you realise how much
we would have won? Seventy five pounds for a five pound stake – still,
_____________________!
Syb: Those were the odds, were they, Basil?
Bas: Yes, __________________, dear – fourteen to one – I listened in on the wireless just
to make sure it had triumphed – ______________________________, Polly!
Polly: __________________!
17Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Syb: Polly?
Polly: Yes, Mrs Fawlty?
Syb: _____________________________________________?
Polly: _______________? Er - _______________________! Birdbrain!
Syb: Birdbrain?
Polly: No, no, no – __________________________ – er - Fishwife!
Syb: What?
Polly: No, not that – small – Flying – Flying – Flying Tart! No, no, no – it got off to a flying
start – and ______________ – ____________________________!
Syb: Thank you, Polly!
Bas: 71, 74-
Syb: If ________________________________________________________, ______
___________________________, Basil!
Bas: You’ll have to sew ’em back on first! Ah, Major!
Maj: Six o’clock, old boy!
Bas: Oh, so it is – yes, er, Major, can I offer you a-
Maj: Ah, __________________________! __________________________ – going to a
memorial service!
Bas: Ah – __________________________________, isn’t it, Major?
Maj: _____________?
Bas: ________________________________________?
Maj: Oh, ___________________________! ____________________ – know what I
mean?
Bas: Ah!
Maj: ________________!
Bas: Major – erm, ______________________________________?
Maj: Well, I’m, er, ________________________________, old boy!
Bas: No, no, no – _____________________________________________? __________
_______________________, only er, Sybil’s ____________________________, you
see – she goes through my pockets some nights!
Maj: Oh, absolutely – ___________________?
Bas: Er, Dragonfly!
Maj: _____________________________?
18Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: No, no – _______________________ – _________________________________!
Maj: Oh, ________________, _______________!
Bas: No, no, no, no – ___________________________?
Maj: Oh, no, no – ______________________________ – no, no, very-
Bas: No, no – ___________________________________________? It’s Sybil, you see –
______________!
Maj: Ah – _________________?
Bas: Er – _____________, yes – ____________________________!
Maj: Mum’s the word!
Bas: Ah – I’ll er, __________________________________________________________!
Maj: _________________, ________________! ____________!
Bas: ____________________, Mr Mackintosh!
Mackintosh: Thank you!
Bas: Thank you!
Gatsby, Tibbs: ______________________, Mr Fawlty!
Bas: ____________________, _______________! Hello, Fawlty Towers!
Rich: Watt!
Bas: ____________________________!
Rich: ___________________________________________?
Bas: Er, excuse me – ______________________________________________!
Rich: ________________________________?
Bas: Yes, yes, _________________!
Rich: When are they going to be here then?
Bas: __________________________ – ____________________________________!
Rich: ____________ – hah!
Bas: There was a lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwynn Tea Rooms last night! Yes? Ah,
certainly, yes! Mrs Richards! Mrs Richards! Sorry! ___________________________!
Mac: Here-
Bas: Yes?
Rich: Hello!
Mac: __________________?
Bas: Er – ___________________________?
Mac: But _____________________________!
19Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: Oh, er, ___________________?
Mac: __________________________!
Rich: Hello! _____________________________________!
Bas: Hello? Yes, yes, _______________________! Yes –
__________________________!
Rich: Oh!
Mac: Well? ________________________?
Rich: Hello! Hello!
Bas: Erm, ______________?
Mac: ______________? _____?
Rich: _____________________________!
Bas: Hello - look – _________________, ________________________!
Rich: ______________________________________!
Bas: Your sister says you’ve had an offer of 87,000 pounds for your house in Brighton!
Rich: ___________________? _______________! _______________________, Stephanie!
___________________________________ I said, and
_________________________ __________________ –
_________________________! ______________________
_________________?
Mac: Well?
Bas: Well, let’s scrub that thirty two p then shall we –
______________________________!
Mac: Oh – thank you very much!
Bas: Oh, Major, Major! Erm, ___________________________?
Maj: __________, ________________?
Bas: _______________? ______________________________________________?
Maj: What? What is all this about?
Bas: Well you remember – _________________________________ – erm, just before you
went to ____________________________________!
Maj: ____________________________________?
Bas: Yes!
Maj: ____________________________________, old boy!
Bas: Well – it was- it was for – it was ___________________________________! Erm,
you know, __________________________!
20Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Maj: ___________________________?
Bas: Well-
Maj: Pansy?
Bas: Yes!
Maj: ___________________?
Bas: No, no, no, no, no – __________________________________________!
Maj: _____________? Oh, yes, of course-
Bas: Yes!
Maj: -_______________________________________________!
Bas: No, no, no, no!
Maj: Yes, yes, with Winnie Atwell! Yes!
Bas: With Winnie Atwell?
Maj: Well Marjorie Atwell, then, Marjorie- I always call her Winnie because- well,
because she looks like Winnie!
Bas: _______________________!
Maj: _______________? Churchill wasn’t black!
Bas: Look, look, look, look, look, look – _____________________________________ –
____________________________!
Rich: What do you mean by telling me ________________________________________?
Bas: I er-
Rich: _______________________________________! Your wife’s just told me
_____________________________________________!
Bas: ____________________________________________________!
Rich: You lying hound!
Syb: Mrs Richards-
Rich: _____________________________, immediately!
Bas: Yes, but look-
Syb: Mrs Richards, we will, ___________________________________ the-
Rich: Right – ______________________________________________!
Syb: Well __________________________________ until-
Rich: _________________________________________!
Syb: All right, Mrs Richards – _______________________________________________?
Rich: ____________?
21Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Syb: In here – thank you! Basil! __________________________________________!
Bas: _______________!
Maj: ____________________, Fawlty!
Bas: _____________?
Maj: ____________________________!
Bas: Yes - in my office- Major, yes!
Maj: In my new suit – in here, you see!
Bas: Yes!
Maj: Stuffed right down-
Bas: Yes, can I have it?
Maj: -and I don’t know how it got there, you see-
Bas: No, no – can I-
Maj: ’cause I make a point – ___________________________________________
________________ in my hip pocket-
Bas: Yes, ___________, ______________!
Maj: __________, ________________?
Bas: ___________________?
Maj: Oh, yes, yes, _________________ – yes, yes, of course! _________________,
_________________!
Bas: What? No, no, no – _______________, ________________!
Syb: Basil!
Maj: __________________!
Syb: ________________?
Maj: ___________________, Mrs Fawlty – ___________________!
Syb: Oh, __________________________ – Mrs Richards!
Bas: What?
Syb: ____________________________________!
Bas: No!
Syb: ___________________________________________!
Bas: (unintelligible sounds)
Syb: What? Thank you so much, Major! _____________________ – I said that it would
turn up!
Bas: (unintelligible sounds)
22Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Syb: ________________, Basil?
Maj: _______________________, eh, Fawlty?
Rich: ________________________________!
Syb: Oh, dear!
Bas: It’s not! __________________________ – oh, my God! _____________________ –
we’ll have a whip round!
Syb: What is going on?
Rich: What’s he doing now?
Syb: ____________________________________________________? I’ll look for the
missing ten pounds immediately, Mrs Richards – where exactly did you find it,
Major?
Maj: _______________________!
Syb: _________________________?
Maj: Yeah, yeah, ___________________, _____________________!
Syb: Er, would you mind if ____________________________________________?
Maj: No, no, _______________, _________________!
Syb: _______________________________ – ___________________________!
Maj: Er, it’s in with the erm, er – the er – the er-
Bas: Excuse me, excuse me-
Rich: ____________________________________________?
Maj: Yes, yes!
Bas: Mrs Richards - can I just-
Rich: _____________________________________________?
Bas: ____________________?
Rich: ________________________________________ – you’re completely loopy – mad
as a March hare!
Bas: Yes, yes, I am – yes, I am completely loopy – that’s why ________________
_________________________________!
Rich: What?
Bas: You see, there’s been a mistake – erm, ___________________
_____________________________________!
Rich: _______________?
23Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: Yes – as the Major will confirm – you see, yes, I was saving it up as a present for my
wife, right – and that’s why I couldn’t say anything just now – but I gave it to the
Major last night-
Rich: ______________________! ___________________________!
Bas: No, no, the Major will verify what I’ve said!
Maj: Mm?
Bas: __________________________________, Major?
Maj: __________? ___________, _____________?
Bas: Er, er, er, well – the money – _____________________________ – you know, _____
___________________ – you remember I gave it to you just before
_______________
________________!
Maj: _________________?
Bas: Well yes – you, you remember – mm, mm? The money I won on the horse!
Maj: __________________?
Rich: _________________________________? ____________________________?
Maj: _______________________________________!
Rich: ________________________________?
Bas: Shh - it doesn’t matter – do you remember me giving it to you? Well _____________,
_______________________!
Maj: ____________________________________?
Bas: Oh, the money, the money, the money – do you - Manuel, Manuel, Manuel, Manuel!
You remember ______________________________________ – ________________
___________________________!
Man: Ah, sí!
Bas: Yes – tell Mrs Richards – tell her ___________________________________!
Man: Ahem – ____________________________!
Bas: What? What?
Man: _____________________________!
Bas: No, no, no, no, no!
Man: _______________!
Bas: No, no, forget-
Man: Oh, yes, ______________________________, _________________________!
Bas: No, no, ____________________ – _____________________!
24Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Man: No, ___________________!
Bas: Yes, yes – ______________, _____________, _____________! Tell her, please,
please, tell her, tell her, please! Tell her, or I’ll kill you!
Man: No, _____________________! __________________________________!
Rich: ________________________________________________! ____________________
________________ – and when I come back,
________________________________!
Syb: _____________________, Basil!
Bas: (growls)
Syb: _______________________ – ___________________ from the till!
Bas: _______________!
Syb: ______________________?
Bas: I’m going to give her the shirt off my back too!
Man: You see, _______________________!
Bas: I’m going to send you to a vivisectionist! Now- (cries)
Mr Firkins: _______________________, Mr Fawlty!
Bas: _______________________!
Firk: You got a Mrs Richards staying here?
Bas: Ah – (faints) Yes?
Firk: Oh – ah, well – _____________________________________________,
____________________________________. __________________, ________
_________________________________! ________________________ –
________________________ – ___________! ____________________________
_________________ – almost threw it in the bin - _____________, eh? ______
________________?
Bas: No – _______________________________!
Firk: Oh – thanks, Mr Fawlty! Goodbye!
Bas: _______________________________!
Polly: _______________?
Bas: Well- She- It doesn’t matter! I’m ten pounds up on the deal!
Polly: _______________________?
25Episode 7 – Communication Problems
Bas: Yes, yes, it’s ninety five – even if I give her ten – ________________________!
Polly, ________________________________, ______________!
____________________! (laughs) Hello, Mrs Richards – how lovely to see-
__________________________, _____________________________,
_________________________ – now, remind me –
__________________________________ – _________________________?
Rich: ________________ – __________________!
Bas: ______________________________?
Rich: _____, _____________!
Bas: _________________________________________?
Rich: Yes!
Bas: Er, Polly – er, _______________________________, ________________?
Rich: _______________?
Bas: _________________!
Syb: _________________, Basil?
Bas: Ah!
Polly: ______________!
Syb: ____________?
Polly: ________________________________________!
Bas: Er, that’s right, dear – Polly asked me to _________________________________!
So, ____________________________ – erm, this is your er, money, Polly –
________
__________________________________, Mrs Richards-
Maj: Fawlty – ____________________________________ – _____________________
__________________!
Bas: Ah! Ah, oh!
Rich: _________________________________________!
Syb: Oh, ___________________, Mrs Richards – we must pay you back – there we
are, one-