Restorative Practices online videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zeUBl7ihSQ&feature=youtu.be

Introduction to Conferencing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFYm17wF2Iw&feature=youtu.be

rompting Questions/ Restorative Topics for Circles (Every Monday in ELA groups)

 

Please note: It is always important to carefully select which questions or topics to pose to the group depending on the needs of the group. The health of each member of the circle is always to be strongly considered.

*Be prepared and know that some of the circle prompts may bring up a lot of emotions for the circle members.

 

Getting Acquainted

Share a happy childhood memory. If you could be a superhero, what super powers would you choose and why? How would your best friend describe you? What would you not want to change about your life? If you could talk to someone from your family who is no longer alive, who would it be and

why? If you had an unexpected free day, what would you like to do? If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why? Name two things or people who always make you laugh. I like to collect…. If you could have a face to face conversation with anyone, who would it be and why? Describe your ideal job. Describe your favorite vacation. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

 

Exploring Values

Imagine you are in conflict with a person who is important in your life. What values do you want to guide your conduct as you try to work out hat conflict?

What is your passion? What do you keep returning to in your life? What touches your heart? What gives you hope?

What demonstrates respect? What change would you like to see in your community? What can you do to promote that

change? A time when you acted on your core values even though others were not.

 

Storytelling from our lives to share who we are and what has shaped us (to build community)

Invite participants to share:

A time when you and to let go of control A time when you were outside of your comfort zone An experience in your life when you “made lemonade out of lemons”. An experience of transformation when, out of a crisis or difficulty, you discovered a gift in

your life. An experience of causing harm to someone and then dealing with it in a way you felt good

about. An experience of letting go of anger or resentment. A time when you were in conflict with your parents or caregiver. An experience where you discovered that someone was very different from the negative

assumptions you first made about that person. An experience of feeling that you did not fit in.

 

Relating to Curriculum:

The best/worst thing about this science project is… The main character in the book we are reading is like/not like me when… These math problems make me feel…

 

Additional Potential Circle Starters:

1.      I feel happy when…

2.      I feel sad when…

3.      I feel angry when…

4.      I feel scared when…

5.      I feel excited when…

6.      I feel stressed when…

7.      I feel alone when…

33.  My favorite weekend activity is…

34.  My favorite song is…

35.  My favorite sport is…

36.  My favorite color is…

37.  My favorite weather is…

38.  Rain makes me feel…

39.  Wind makes me feel…

8.      The scariest thing…

9.      My favorite hobby…

10.  My favorite pet…

11.  My favorite food is…

12.  My favorite T.V. show is…

13.  My favorite weekend activity is…

14.  My favorite song is…

15.  My favorite sport is…

16.  My favorite color is…

17.  My favorite weather is…

18.  Rain makes me feel…

19.  Wind makes me feel…

20.  Sunshine makes me feel…

21.  I feel happy when…

22.  I feel sad when…

23.  I feel angry when…

24.  I feel scared when…

25.  I feel excited when…

26.  I feel stressed when…

27.  I feel alone when…

28.  The scariest thing…

29.  My favorite hobby…

30.  My favorite pet…

31.  My favorite food is…

40.  Sunshine makes me feel…

41.  Snow makes me feel…

42.  Fog makes me feel…

43.  Today I feel…

44.  When I think of blue, I think of…

45.  When I think of red, I think of…

46.  When I think of green, I think of…

47.  When I think of yellow, I think of…

48.  When I think of black, I think of…

49.  When I think of brown, I think of…

50.  When I think of white, I think of…

51.  If I were an animal, I would be…

52.  If I were a famous actor/actress, I would be …

53.  If I were a famous athlete, I would be…

54.  When I graduate from high school, I want to …

55.  When I become an adult, I want to…

56.  When I start my career, I want to …

57.  I can’t wait until…

58.  Friends are …

59.  Families are…

60.  Putdowns make me feel…

61.  Appreciations make me feel…

32.  My favorite T.V. show is…

  estorative Practices

We are excited to inform you that Paseo Hills School will continue to implement Restorative Practices during 2018 - 2019 school year.  Restorative Practices is an emerging field of study that will enable us to restore and build community at Paseo Hills.

Paseo Hills has seen a 21% decrease in discipline referrals from 2016—2017 to 2017—2018 school year.  Seeing a decrease in discipline means that Paseo Hills students are in class receiving more instruction which supports academic improvement.

In education, circles and groups provide opportunities for students to share their feelings, build relationships and problem-solve, and when there is wrongdoing, to play an active role in addressing the wrong and making things right (Riestenberg, 2002).  These restorative circles and groups are based on the principles of fair process.

The three principles of fair process are:

o Engagement — involving individuals in decisions that affect them by listening to their views and genuinely taking their opinions into account;

o Explanation — explaining the reasoning behind a decision to everyone who has been involved or who is affected by it;

o Expectation clarity — making sure that everyone clearly understands a decision and what is expected of them in the future.

Our students will learn how to effectively communicate their feelings using affective statements and affective questions. These statements and questions will help them communicate their feelings and understand how their behavior has affected others. 

Affective Questions:

o What happened?  o What did you do? (Helps create ownership)o What were you thinking at the time (Helps reflect on more than impulsive actions)?o What have you thought about since (Helps reflect on the choices/consequences that have

happened as a result)?o Who/how many have been affected by what you have done (Helps build empathy)?o What do you need to do to make things right (Plan of action to move forward)?

Our students and staff will use restorative circles to share their feelings, ideas and experiences in order to establish relationships and social norms.  Circle-go-rounds are a great way to foster a sense of community among students in a classroom.  They are proactive and bring great discussion and ideas to the forefront.  Circle-go-rounds help build character traits in the areas of

kindness, empathy, respect, responsibility, trust and cooperation. Once students feel comfortable using circles they can be used as a tool to solve problems.

We are very excited to continue using Restorative Practices at Paseo Hills as we have seen improvements in community, relationships, student accountability as well as a decrease in discipline referrals.

OURMissionIt is the mission of Paseo Hills to build relationships, in a positive, collaborative climate that produces lifelong learners.

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10 things you’ll learn from Restorative Practice with Doctors Dominique Smith and Doug Fisher. 

When it comes to the tricky topic of discipline, so many of us are missing a single vital component: relationships. Without building a meaningful connection between students and teachers, classroom management strategies lose efficiency — and poor behavior hits repeat.Enter restorative justice practices, a set of informal and formal strategies aimed at building relationships and strengthening community in order to prevent and respond to campus wrongdoings. This fall, we’ll be hosting an event with experts Doctors Dominique Smith and Doug Fisher, who co-authored Better than Carrots or Sticks with Nancy Frey. In anticipation, we chatted with Smith about 10 lessons participants will walk away understanding. Here’s what he had to say.

1. Traditional discipline policies are failing teachers. “There are no relationships involved, and students don’t have any connection to the school or teacher. There needs to be

conversations held so students understand their impact. Without understanding impact, the same behaviors will happen again.”

2. Poor discipline policies are hurting our students. “Students are labeled as bad students — and then they build their identity as ‘bad’ students.”

3. What exactly restorative justice and restorative practices are.“Restorative justice is only reactive, repairing the harm after it has happened. Restorative practices are proactive approaches to help situations.”

4. We need to prioritize a healthy learning environment over teaching curriculum. “We believe students won’t learn if they don’t feel that they’re a part of the school. Simply put, students don’t learn from teachers they don’t like.”

5. All teaching styles can adopt restorative practices. “Being able to build relationships will allow students to see their teachers in a different light and understand where educators’ teaching styles might come from.”

6. There’s a common hold-up… What’s the biggest hesitation from educators learning about restorative justice? “Time, time, time. Educators feel they do not have the time to implement these strategies.”

7. …and there’s a definite solution. “We need to have all stakeholders buying in, so there is support and growth.”

8. Restorative practices work with all grade levels. “All ages benefit from restorative practices. First, students want to have relationships, and that can happen at any age. Second, people don’t like being harmed, and all age levels can have conversations to move forward from these situations.”

9. Restorative practices impact the whole school. “They will help the culture of the school as it becomes a more welcoming place. Stakeholders will want to communicate because they know there is a culture of trust. Students previously labeled ‘bad’ or ‘high flyers’ become a huge part of the school.”

10. Teachers need to remember the “why.” “Why did you become an educator? When we focus on the answer, it takes us back to focusing on wanting to make a difference in students’ lives. These practices help students that need that extra support but might have never received it.”

It is time for a change. We are thrilled to welcome Doctors Dominique Smith and Doug Fisher to Phoenix in November for a sell-

out event. Missed the chance to register? Don’t fret! We’re happy to share Smith will join us at the Thirteenth Annual Teacher Leadership Institute in June. Register soon to ensure you know what it looks like to implement restorative practices in your classrooms and on your campus.

The visits are free for educators and community members, and the slots fill up quickly, Nicole said. The funding comes from a three-year grant from another coalition member: the National Education Association.

Teachers unions aren’t always fans of this approach. Some teachers worry that a soft touch will leave them without enough tools to deal with unruly students and might even make classrooms less safe. Denver’s union once had similar concerns but is now part of the coalition. The national union joined to inform more teachers about the approach, said Harry Lawson, associate director of NEA’s human and civil rights department.

There isn’t a lot of research on the effects of restorative justice, and studies haven’t found a direct causal link between restorative practices and better student outcomes. However, existing research consistently finds decreases in the use of suspensions and improved school culture.

The idea behind the visits, organizers said, is to answer questions common even among those who’ve been trained in the basics: What does restorative justice look like when it’s done well? What does it feel like? How do I know if I’m in a school that’s 

https://education.asu.edu/news/puhsd-restorative-justice

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/restorative-practices-alternatives-to-suspension-phoenix-registration-52250925926#

https://www.leavingthevillage.com/free-resources.html

https://tucson.com/news/opinion/shannon-snapp-restorative-justice-works-give-it-a-chance/article_52b363eb-a4ee-5a50-bec6-7986f2fbee55.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-lines/201605/new-study-reveals-six-benefits-school-restorative-justice

Senge, P.M., Kleiner, A., Roberts, C., Ross, R. & Smith, B. (1994). The fifth discipline fieldbook: Strategies and tools for building a learning organization. New York, NY:

Currency.

[1] Cavanagh (2009). Creating a new discourse of peace in schools: Restorative justice in education. Journal for Peace and Justice Studies, special issue on Restorative Justice, 18(1&2), 62-84.The FiFth DIscpline Fieldbook By Peter Senge

https://www.restorativejustice.com/

What is the difference between Restorative Practices and Restorative Justice?Restorative Practices are a set of proactive tools that cultivate community and help build relationships on school campuses. All students, teachers, administrators, parents, and community members connected to a school can work in a restorative way by getting to know each other, actively listening to and respecting each other, and by creating a foundation of trust, empathy, and safety in the school environment.  When people are engaging in a restorative way, it affects overall campus climate, touches the lives of every community member, and becomes a way of being that makes harm less likely to occur in the first place. We also recognize that sometimes harms do occur in our school communities and restorative justice is a specific responsive process under the umbrella of restorative practices that supports students responsible for harm and community members impacted by harm.Restorative Justice is a way of thinking about conflict. The United Nations Working Group on Restorative Justice defines it in the following way: a process whereby parties with a stake in a particular offense resolve collectively how to deal with the aftermath of the offense and its implications for the future.Restorative justice processes focus on the following principles:

Holding the student responsible for the offense accountable  Repairing the harm caused by the student responsible for the offense Beginning the healing process for the people harmed and the

community

Reintegrating the student responsible for the offense back into the community

 

2. Is Restorative Justice new, and is it popular across the world? Restorative Justice (RJ) concepts and practices have been used to build community and resolve conflict in indigenous cultures, including the Maori people of New Zealand, Native American tribes in the U.S., the Mayan people of Guatemala, and many others for thousands of years (Kay Pranis, Little Book of Circle Processes, 2005). Modern Western communities are beginning to call on these ancient practices as a new process to build strong and safe communities and resolve conflict through face to face interactions. In the 1970s the criminal justice system and k-12 schools in the United States began to use restorative practices to address community and school climate and offenses. Here in San Diego, criminal justice partners including police, probation, the district attorney’s office, and Public Defenders, have partnered with the National Conflict Resolution Center to refer criminal cases for youth to a restorative process instead of to juvenile court.

 

3. Who can use Restorative Practices?Restorative practices are rooted in the principal that everyone has the capacity to build relationships and resolve conflict restoratively with training, practice, support, and time. Therefore, anyone can benefit from learning about restorative practices. Restorative practices are non –denominational and inclusive of all cultures, abilities, ages, ethnicities, gender identity, and religions. Teachers, students, and school administrators can use restorative practices on campus. Restorative practices are employed within the criminal justice system by police officers, probation, public defenders, district attorneys, and judges. We can use a restorative approach with our families, neighbors, and colleagues. 

 

4. What are the benefits of Restorative Practices?Restorative practices are about creating stronger communities and cultivating relationships. Within schools, restorative practices has been successful at helping youth and adults communicate more effectively, minimizing student truancy, reducing school conflict, and lowering suspension and expulsion rates. 

Lower rates of suspensions and expulsions have also been found to increase the academic scores of non-suspended students.  A study published in the American Sociological Review (Winter, 2014), involving over 17,000 students in 17 middle schools and high schools in a Kentucky school district, found that students who have never been in trouble do worse at schools with higher suspension rates. Additionally, students that go to schools with lower suspension rates have higher end of year math and English scores. This shows the negative impact of zero-tolerance policies, such as suspensions and expulsions, on the academic success of all students in a campus community.

Restorative practices are also being used in more serious circumstances and have been effective in helping those affected by crime to heal. It can be used as an alternative to, or alongside more traditional justice responses.

Individuals who have received restorative training and utilize it’s practices report that their work is easier, more enjoyable and more effective. Parents report better relationships with their children, residents report better relationships with their neighbors and youth report increased confidence and better relationships with their teachers, families, friends, and peers.

 

5. How is 'community' defined for the purpose of addressing harm through a Restorative Justice process?The term community, as used in restorative justice, is not limited to a physical or geographic region.  Rather, it is defined as members who have been directly or indirectly impacted by harm.  Community may include the following:     

Family members Students Key support staff (Administrators, teachers, counselors, coaches, etc…) Mentors Significant others for each party who have been impacted by the

offence 

6. Why is the need for Restorative Justice important?The School-to-prison pipeline is a metaphor used to describe the increasing patterns of contact students have with the juvenile and adult

criminal justice systems as a result of the recent practices implemented by educational institutions, specifically zero tolerance policies and the use of police in schools. [Heitzeg, Nancy (2009)]. Through restorative practices we can utilize tools to hold student accountable for their actions while keeping them in school and out of the school to prison pipeline. ©2019 San Diego Unified School District.4100 Normal St, San Diego, CA 92103(619) 725-8000 | Hours & Information

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RESTORATIVE JUSTICEWhat it is and is notBy The editors of Rethinking Schools

Erik RuinMisbehave, get punished. That pretty much sums up the approach to “disciplining” students that educators through the decades have taken in schools and classrooms. The most extreme form of this law-and-order strategy is zero tolerance, described in Rethinking Schools by Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn back in 2000, as these policies gained popularity:

Schools everywhere—public, private, urban, suburban, rural, and parochial—are turning into fortresses where electronic searches, locked doors, armed police, surveillance cameras, patrolled cafeterias, and weighty rule books define the landscape.

In schools today, educators still respond to what they perceive as student misbehavior with punishment. However, schools and school districts appear to be abandoning the language of zero tolerance and in many places are introducing what is often called “restorative justice.” This represents an enormous victory for the activists and organizations that for years have fought the school-to-prison pipeline. Zero tolerance puts school resources toward policing and push-out instead of toward teaching and support. The number of youth—overwhelmingly youth of color—out of school and incarcerated has skyrocketed; LGBTQ and disabled youth are also targeted.

So we welcome the abandonment of zero tolerance.

But simply announcing a commitment to “restorative justice” doesn’t make it so. Restorative justice doesn’t work as an add-on. It requires us to address the roots of student “misbehavior” and a willingness to rethink and rework our classrooms, schools, and school districts. Meaningful alternatives to punitive approaches take time and trust. They must be built on schoolwide and districtwide participation. They are collaborative and creative, empowering students, teachers, and parents. They rely on social justice curriculum, strong ties among teachers and with families, continuity of leadership, and progress toward building genuine communities of learning.

Too often, this is not what we see in places that tout a focus on restorative justice. At far too many schools, commitments to implement restorative justice occur amid relentless high-stakes “test and punish” regimens—amid scripted curriculum, numbing test-prep drills, budget cutbacks, school closures, the constant shuffling from school to school of students, teachers, and principals.

Meaningful restorative justice also requires robust funding. It can’t mean a high school teacher released for one class period to “run the program” or a mandated once-a-year day of staff development training. Under these circumstances, announcing one’s embrace of “restorative justice” is hypocritical window dressing.

What Is Restorative Justice?The concepts of restorative justice are based largely on indigenous approaches. The Navajo system is a good place to start, described by Robert Yazzie in “‘Life Comes from It’: Navajo Justice Concepts”:

Navajo justice is a sophisticated system of egalitarian relationships, where group solidarity takes the place of force and coercion. In it, humans are not in ranks or status classifications from top to bottom. Instead, all humans are equals and make decisions as a group. . . .

There is no precise term for “guilty” in the Navajo language. The word “guilt” implies a moral fault that commands retribution. It is a nonsense word in Navajo law due to the focus on healing, integration with the group, and the end goal of nourishing ongoing relationship with the immediate and extended family, relatives, neighbors, and community.

So what might this look like in public schools? Cedric, a thin African American teenager in a red shirt, sits in a circle with his parents, other students, teachers, counselors, the principal—about two dozen people. Cedric is returning to Ralph J. Bunche High School in Oakland, California, after being incarcerated, and this is his welcome and re-entry circle.

Eric Butler, from Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth (RJOY), explains the goal: to provide support for Cedric’s return to school. The circle starts with a relationship-building round: Everyone says what they, as children, hoped for in adulthood.

The next round is on values necessary to have the discussion: speak your truth, compassion, commitment. Then a round on what everyone commits to doing for Cedric. The principal says, “I am the person who will ensure you get your high school diploma and get on with your life.”

“You’re making me blush,” Cedric says, covering his face with his hands. Later he explains: “That touched me. . . . At first I couldn’t trust them, but then they all looked me in the eye and told me what they could do to help me, so I felt like I could give them a chance.”

Butler asks Cedric’s mom what kind of help she needs from the group. “I need you to support my son,” she says.

After repeated times around the circle, they make a concrete plan, decide who will do what, and agree to meet in 30 days. At the end, everyone shakes Cedric’s hand or gives him a hug.

The circle for Cedric (made into a short video by RJOY) highlights what restorative justice can offer—healing harm rather than continuing a cycle of crime and punishment. There are a number of models of restorative practices, but they always start with building community. Then, when a problem arises, everyone involved is part of the process. As in Cedric’s healing circle, shared values are agreed on. Then questions like these are asked: What is the harm caused and to whom? What are the needs and obligations that have arisen? How can everyone present contribute to addressing the needs, repairing the harm, and restoring relationships? Additional questions can probe the roots of the conflict and make broader connections: What social circumstances promoted the harm? What similarities can we see with other incidents? What structures need to change?

A commitment to restorative justice has to be built over time; it can’t be mandated or compelled. For example, Rita Renjitham Alfred was hired in 2005 as case manager in a pilot program to reduce expulsions, suspensions, and fights at Cole Middle School in Oakland. She started with a support group for teachers. The next year, Alfred and a colleague offered five days of training in restorative justice spread out over the year. They also got a commitment from the principal to conduct one staff meeting a month on restorative justice principles.

Soon the teachers suggested that the students get involved. Alfred went class to class, explaining restorative practices and starting discussions. The following year there was an elective in restorative justice and it became an accepted approach for dealing with school problems. By the program’s third year, suspensions had dropped 87 percent.

Alfred tells a story that illuminates the program’s impact and how it reaches into the school curriculum:

One day, two middle school students at Cole came to me in tears. “We need an RJ circle on teaching slavery,” they said. They asked for my help talking to their teacher, a wonderful teacher who had been an active participant in our RJ trainings, about how she was teaching a unit on slavery in U.S. history. She agreed and we set up the circle.

“We love you,” the students said, “but we have to tell you what this unit is doing to us. This is our identity, and the way you’re teaching slavery is making us feel terrible.” After a long discussion, with tears on all sides, the teacher

suggested a strategy: She would reconstruct the unit, putting it in the context of African history overall, and as an international struggle over power, resources, and economic systems—looking at slavery in the context of conquest and resistance all over the world rather than isolating a specific group as victims. She still teaches the unit that way.

What Isn’t Restorative Justice?Given the strengths of restorative justice, doesn’t it make sense to charge full steam ahead? Of course, but restorative justice depends on building community, rooting it in social justice curriculum, and integrating classroom practices with schoolwide practices.

Restorative justice is not a set of prompts. The switch from seeing offenders and victims to looking for harm (when everyone involved may well have been harmed) is an enormous one. It’s also not a quick fix to change suspension statistics.

Kathy Evans, from Eastern Mennonite University, worries that

in our haste to implement RJ in schools, we don’t lose our way. Not all programs that call themselves restorative are indeed restorative. Many are restorative-ish; others have been completely co-opted so that restorative terminology is used to rename the detrimental programs they are meant to replace. For example, having kids wash the cafeteria tables in lieu of suspension may be a better option, but it isn’t necessarily restorative. . . . Implementing restorative justice to address behavior without critically reflecting on how curriculum content or pedagogy perpetuates aggression is limiting.

Restorative Justice as the Finger in the DikeSeveral years ago, at a workshop on restorative practices at the national Free Minds, Free People conference, teachers spoke up during the discussion period. “We spent three years getting buy-in from the administration and the staff for restorative justice, and we were starting to work with the kids. Then our school got ‘turned around,’ and we lost our principal and most of our staff. Now we’re starting over.” “I’ve started over three times,” one New York teacher said. “I can’t do it again.”

Restorative justice won’t work as a band-aid when schools are being torn to shreds. Look at Philadelphia. The schools have faced years of devastating cuts. Last year at Bartram High School, there were two counselors for more than 1,000 students, 91 percent low-income. Bartram has lost more than a third of its total staff over the last three years, including its only librarian, assistant principals, aides, and a third of its teachers. Dozens of new students came to Bartram as a result of 24 city school closings in 2013. Violence increased, including an assault on a conflict resolution specialist. The administrative response: four more police officers, stricter enforcement of the uniform policy and rules against cellphones and tardiness—and “a commitment to restorative practices.” Under such circumstances, what real meaning does that commitment have?

And, as the students at Cole understood, there is a strong relationship among curriculum, pedagogy, and restorative practices. Restorative justice can’t grow in the margins of scripted, test-driven curriculum; it’s based on teachers hearing, understanding, and responding to the academic, social, and emotional needs of students.

Don’t get us wrong. Rejecting zero tolerance is huge. “Restorative-ish” programs are a vast improvement over zero tolerance. But we need to advocate the essential values of restorative practices. That includes fighting for schools that meet the needs of all our students and the communities they serve. The healing that lies at the heart of restorative practices must include healing the wounds from the kinds of miseducation that oppress children and teachers alike.  

Endnotes Ayers, Bill, and Bernardine Dohrn. 2000. “Resisting Zero Tolerance,” in Rethinking Schools, Vol. 14, No. 3. Evans, Kathy. 2014. “Restorative Justice—Possibilities, but Also Concerns,” Zehr Institute for Restorative Justice

Blog. June 26. Available at emu.edu/now/restorative-justice/2014/06/26/restorative-justice-in-education-possibilities-but-also-concerns.

Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth and Oakland Unified School District. 2013. Restorative Welcome and Re-Entry Circle. Filmed by Cassidy Friedman. Available at YouTube.com.

Yazzie, Robert. 2005. “‘Life Comes from It’: Navajo Justice Concepts,” in Nielsen, Marianne and James Zion, eds. Navajo Nation Peacemaking: Living Traditional Justice. University of Arizona Press.https://azednews.com/educators-learn-more-ways-to-develop-trauma-sensitive-schools/Says PBIS uses incentives to transform behavior not true

Restorative Justice: Preschool StyleApril 8, 2018Jess LedbetterUncategorized

SHARE THIS STORY: A few years ago, I attended grad school with a classmate who researched restorative justice with university students. Her research spoke deeply to me, and I fell in love with the idea of asking young people to take intentional actions to repair harm caused by their behavior. Over the years, I’ve seen these ideas bubble up in my own teaching practices. This blog is about restorative justice: preschool style.

It cracks me up to use a fancy term like “restorative justice” for preschool behavior management, but I believe this concept can be introduced to really young kids. Let me give you some examples of harm that preschool kids do to one another (whether or not by accident): knocking over toys, stepping on fingers, pushing in line, hitting, kicking, weird faces, and saying mean things. Believe it or not, these incidents used to take up huge amounts of my teaching day.

Research indicates teachers should not force preschoolers to say “sorry” because they’re too young to understand the sentiment. Behavior experts suggest teachers should give more attention to the victim than the offender in order to minimize attention-seeking behaviors. But the bottom line is: Getting a preschool child to stop crying can take forever! And the offender often feels angry and resistant to discussion about what went wrong. So how does a preschool teacher manage these daily situations and develop strong classroom community?

Last year, I started a restorative justice practice in my classroom: I simply have the offender ask the victim, “Can I help you feel better?” The offender offers solutions like hugs, high fives, funny faces, or helping to fix something broken. The victim accepts the solution or offers another idea until they mutually agree. Oh how I love the way this has improved my classroom culture!

First, it saves me time. Instead of talking with each child separately, I keep both kids close while they talk it out. Most solutions come quickly and incidents are completely over in about 15-30 seconds! It’s magical to watch a crying child accept a hug, wipe away tears, and run off to play with the same kid who just kicked him! Second, this strategy promotes student leadership. The indirect message becomes “Kids can make things better” instead of “Kids need adults to make things better.” I think this is huge. Third, the kids learn how to apply these strategies in all kinds of situations to help peers feel better. I’ve seen them ask, “Can I help you feel better?” for other preschool problems like: Injuries on the playground, who is first in line, or tearful kids saying goodbye to parents. Win, win, win!

Best of all, this behavior management strategy puts classroom community first. It teaches kids to care about one another and help friends in distress. Recently, one of our girls was crying because recess was over. I could see a few students watching her with concern. One of the boys scooted over and asked, “Can I help you feel better?” The girl nodded her head, and he gave her a hug. Before I knew it, there were about five students hugging her. It was over quickly, and they were all beaming with love. And just like that, we got right back to learning with a class full of smiling, self-reliant preschool kids!