www.pbd.inCuttack, Sunday, February 17, 2013 11politicalbusinessdaily

the . . . .rainbow

The middle ear is thesmall part of yourear behind your

eardrum. It can get infect-ed when germs from thenose and throat aretrapped there.What causes a middle earinfection?

A small tube connectsyour ear to your throat.These two tubes are calledeustachian tubes. A coldcan cause this tube toswell. When the tubeswells enough to becomeblocked, it can trap fluidinside your ear. Thismakes it a perfect place forgerms to grow and causean infection.Ear infections happenmostly to young children,because their tubes aresmaller and get blockedmore easily.What are the symptoms?

The main symptom is

an earache. It can be mild,or it can hurt a lot. Babiesand young children maybe fussy. They may pull attheir ears and cry. Theymay have trouble sleeping.They may also have afever.

You may see thick, yel-low fluid coming fromtheir ears. This happenswhen the infection hascaused the eardrum toburst and the fluid flowsout. This is not serious andusually makes the pain goaway. The eardrum usual-ly heals on its own.

When fluid builds upbut does not get infected,children often say thattheir ears just feel plugged.They may have troublehearing, but their hearingusually returns to normalafter the fluid is gone. Itmay take weeks for thefluid to drain away.

How is a middle earinfection diag-

nosed?Your doctor

will talk to youabout your child'ssymptoms. Then

he or she will lookinto your child's

ears. A special toolwith a light lets thedoctor see theeardrum and tell

whether there isfluid behind it.

This exam isr a r e l y

uncom-fortable.It both-e r ss o m e

children more than others.How is it treated?

Most ear infections goaway on their own,although antibiotics arerecommended for chil-dren under the age of 2and for children at highrisk for complications.You can treat your child athome with an over-the-counter pain reliever likeacetaminophen (such asTylenol), a warm wash-cloth or heating pad onthe ear, and rest. Do notgive aspirin to anyoneyounger than 20. Yourdoctor may give youeardrops that can helpyour child's pain.

Sometimes after aninfection, a child cannothear well for a while. Callyour doctor if this lasts for 3to 4 months. Children needto be able to hear in order tolearn how to talk. — BP

What is a middle ear infection?

In theh o p ethat you

don't seethis columnas chaptersof a self-help book,I've beenrather fas-

tidious about the topicsthat have risen stridentlyto your eyes in recentweeks. Still, having recent-ly read an interesting arti-cle in the Guardian by LeeGlendinning I seemed tohave an epiphany that hasbinned my self-imposedreticence.

It said, as part of astudy, that "children todaystop believing in suchthings as elves, goblinsand fairies around the ageof six, whereas their par-ents mostly held on tosuch beliefs until the ageof 10." That's odd. Ithought Sherlock Holmesexisted till I was 14, typedwith my right index fingertill I was 17 and was excit-ed about using a pen whenI went to 6th grade. Today,toddlers boast of skills thatI couldn't until my pre-teens. And that's about asexciting as the dumb-founding incredulity ofwatching BappiLahiribeatUsain Bolt to 100 metres.

In fact, goblins andfairies have long beendropped off the presentday urban schoolchild'sgripsack of expectations.Be it studies or playtime,tuitions or dance class,bloated expectations areleading children endlesslyfrom one to the other. Andwhereas an assortment ofhobbies would go miles infleshing up a child's reper-

toire of experience, thatsuch activities are becom-ing increasingly perform-ance-driven instead oflearning-driven is steadilytaking the form of disen-chanted and impersonalparenting.

If you're the sort ofparent who's replaced anexulting glance at yourchild for having 'partici-pated' in a debate compe-tition with a frown of dis-appointment for havinglost '1st place', don't worryabout me. I have decidedto keep this out of self-help territory and I will.And anyway, I've neverstood first in anything (onpaper). That makes me'not qualified' to commenton your style just as I'mnot qualified to have theseemingly normal life thatI, by some comic fortune,do have!

Parents buy into arealm of imposed superla-tives not so much out ofinsensitivity towards chil-dren as a perceived notionthat the lack of it is evenmore harmful to theirfuture. It is a settled orderof nature that children bepushed slightly beyondtheir cauldron of comfortto challenge their abilityand help them develop.But forcing 2-year-oldsinto gruelling hours of'coaching and mock schoolinterviews', as chronicledby Sharmeen HakimIndorewala in the OpenMagazine as 'Toddlersunder Stress', is daft. Andblind. And downrightcriminal.

What follows on forsuch a child is an overrid-ing stress on being the'best.' In some cases, every

activity is structured withthe sole aim of projectingher best possible versionto society. Whether shefinds them fulfilling is abroken consideration thatfades away as imposedhobbies go on recordtowards the evisceratedvision of a successful life;one that is cast in stone forher to follow. Her'involved' parents thentake on the cheeky badgeof 'helicopter parents,' thesort of people who con-stantly hover over anddrone about every singleaspect of their child's life.

It isn't a particularlyfriendly situation wheneverything is timetabledand there's no allowance

for mistakes. To quoteMadeline Levine, a SanFrancisco psychologist -"Think back to when yourtoddler learned to walk.She would take a weaving

step or two, collapse andimmediately look to youfor your reaction. Youwere in thrall to thoseearly attempts and woulddo everything possible to

encourage her to get upagain. You certainly didn'tchastise her for failing.You were present, alertand available to guide ifnecessary. You knew shehad to get it wrong manytimes before she could getit right."

Having tutors train 2-year-olds for kindergarteninterviews and enrollingyour 6th grade future prideon a 'GITJEE course forcracking the coveted IIT-JEE exam' is not involve-ment. It is something calledover-parenting, sloshed ina poisonous struggle to usethe child as a vehicle forsocial status and affirma-tion.

Building an authentic

and autonomous personout of a child takes asmuch 'involvement' as 'let-ting go.' While some chil-dren might be IIT bound,an overwhelming majoritymight have fortes else-where. In not acceptingthat and treating everymoment in a kid's upbring-ing as lines to fill into hisCV, one might as well dobetter to display her in amuseum. Why bother'preparing' her for the realworld? Why are we head-ing, inexplicably, to a pointwhere we wean a baby offmilk and straight onto dou-ble vodka?

For as long as numbersexist, ranks will exist. Inany given class, group orcompetitive environment,there will always be the

'first' and the 'rest.' If webreed a system whereonly one's happy andmany are disappointed,something's surely notright! And that 'some-thing' best come fromwithin because truth betold, the numbers willexist. Albert Einstein oncesaid, "Everybody is agenius. But if you judge afish by its ability to climba tree, it will live its wholelife believing that it is stu-pid." Sadly, while adept atglorifying Einstein, com-moners possess an excel-lent ability to miss thepoint within the quotes.Signing off, happy 'kids'and cross parents!

The author can be reached atsunandan.misra@bhpcafe.com

Toppers and Poppers

Iwas really bored watch-ing all news channels sell-ing 'Rape' for TRP.

Thanks a lot to Team Indiafor winning the last fewmatches, Arvind Kejriwal forhis continuous fight againstcorruption and ourBollywood celebrities forproviding some much-need-ed, even if occasional, relieffrom the monotony.Together, they change thetelecast from fictional rapewith fictional characters tofictional plots with fictionalvictims but real accused. Themost unfortunate thing isthat 'The Rape Show' hasalready been planned to betelecast as soon as the cricketfever gets over. TRP, TRP andmore TRP. That's all themedia cares about. Andhilariously 'We the people',presumably the sovereignone, follow like herds of ani-mals.

One day, the mediashows at least 10 womenprotesting against a rapsinger Honey Singh forsinging a lousy song. But itshouldn't surprise you if youfind that they are the same lotwho would, while sitting inone of the many kitty parties,enjoy listening to the same'Ashleel' song and sing it to bethe point of attention.Following these well fed andhighly paid protesting ladies,other girls and guys fall forthe 'Aandolan' against thegovernment for the so called'cause'. I wonder what wouldhave happened if Daminibelonged to rural Rajasthan.She would, in all probability,have been another BhanwariDevi (the famous Saathincase), where the patriarchywas on its extreme. Becauseof all these past acts of men,my ideology is a little tiltedtowards feminism. But thereis a problem here too. Mostfeminists are unaware of thefact that feminism is forbringing equality and notgiving an upper hand to anyparticular sex. Meanwhile,all that these protestors do isto just 'Hamari Maangein PooriKaro' and 'Indian Governmenthaai haai'. And how innocentwe are, following their lead-ership, and making them ournew-age Sarojini Naidu andAnnie Besant.

There is an irony in thissituation: while the crowd is

shouting for justice to bedone, it will not give any-thing but the vilest abuse if abeggar happens to be pass-ing by; it would shoo awaythe hungry mother askingfor some money to feed herhungry child, who has noteaten for days. All thisbecause these problems arenot the issue they are protest-ing for. The hungry, home-less and poor mother shouldbe raped brutally first for thecrowd to have some mercyand hold out its hand forsupport.

I noticed people usingsocial networking sites topost pictures of the deceased,her mother and her father,and even asking others, theusers, to share and like it,swearing in the name of theirmother and sisters. But mostof them are unaware of thefact that there are numerousfake photos being used forthe above cause. A Keralitegirl's family and friends wereshocked to see her picture onthe FB, as the rape victim of'Delhi Kand'. The father had tofile a complaint in the Courtbefore police wrote to FB toremove the said pictures.Another rumour being post-ed by FB users is related to anunknown Section 233 of IPCaccording to which a girlwho suspects a man to be arapist can apparently 'doanything to him, includingkilling him' without anycharges being framed againsther. This really made melaugh. How senseless peoplecould be in this country? Iwondered. As far as myknowledge of law goes, thesaid section deals with coun-terfeiting of currency. But letus not get into the validity ofsuch rumoured law, becauseuntil parliament really pass-es it, it remains just that - arumour.

One of my friends postedmany facts regarding crimeagainst men on FB. The con-clusion that he reached wasreally shocking. He raised aninteresting question: whenprotest took place against thegang rape in Delhi, menjoined in large numbers tolend their support to thecause, but why was it thatnot even one female friendsupported his cause whenhe raised issues about viola-tion of men's rights andunjust treatment through hisposts?

Now let us talk on the

basis of available empiricaldata. As laws are silent aboutprotection of men, separatedata as to the number ofcrimes against men nevercomes out. In 2005, a total of22, 64, 000 cases were regis-tered as crime against men,while the number of cases ofcrime against women wasjust 1, 55, 000. The differencehas only widened in the pastfive years. In 2010-11, 62, 433married men committed sui-cide while only 32, 582 mar-

ried women committed sui-cide. Yet, whenever a mar-ried woman dies due to anyreason - be it accident, illnessor suicide - it is immediatelyturned into a dowry deathcase while large scale sui-cides by men are not evenacknowledged, let alone pro-vide justice to them. In thisdemocratic nation, even ani-mals have their own welfareministry but men, who con-tribute to over 70% to theeconomy, don't have any offi-cial institution to look afterthem. A study done by theSave India FamilyFoundation (SIFF) with dataprovided by the NationalCrime Report Bureau(NCRB) says that about22,000 men ended their lifebetween 2005-08 because ofreverse dowry harassment,as against 6, 800 women whocommitted suicide overdowry harassment duringthe same period.Interestingly, in all 6, 800cases, husbands have beenput behind bars withoutinvestigation despite the factthat over 68% of them havelater been found innocent.Only six cases have been reg-istered for the death of 22,000men. It goes without saying

that no proper investigationwas done and thus there wasno conviction.

I don't want to blame thefemale sex as a whole foranything. But I would ask thesame support from them thatthey get from us. I second theopinion of my friend whotold women that all malesare not criminals. They arealso your father, brother, hus-band, son and moreoverhuman beings too. Andyeah, it's high time that we,

the opposite sex, should startworking together instead ofworking against each other.

Until this issue wasraised, when people werecrucified or punishedaccording to customary prac-tice in north Pakistan, westood up against it promot-ing ourselves as the 'civilisedsociety' with better standardsof living, better protection oflaw to everyone and greatercommitment to basic humanrights. But on this issue, Ihave seen people go emo-tional to the extent of forget-ting each and everythingthey once stood for.

Countrymen, this is theRepublic of India. Pleasedon't try to convert it intosome barbaric nation withunjust laws, because thepoliticians can do anythingto be on the chair or to winit. Mind it no punishmentcan deter crime. US executesoffenders more often thanIndia, but still women aresafer in this nation. As it is,conviction in rape cases isless. If the death penalty iswritten into the statutebooks, it will fall down evenfurther as the case wouldhave to be proved beyondany shade of doubt and then

the doctrine of rarest of therare case would come intoreckoning. People shouldinstead demand upholdingof the suggestions given bythe Law Commission ofIndia on rape and alliedoffenses asking for a longerterm and ask the govern-ment why these changeshave not been brought inyet. Even the VermaCommittee has recom-mended only a life sentenceas maximum punishment.Just imagine if death wouldbe the punishment for rapeand murder both, then therapists would invariablychoose to kill the victim asthat would lead to one wit-ness less with the same pun-ishment. We need to bemore reasonable in ourdemands. We shoulddemand for the change inIPC, which itself is too patri-archical in nature, oneexample being the offense ofadultery which is equivalentto using someone's chattelwithout permission.

Rise for the right causeand demand things whichare just and reasonable, andthe whole community willsupport you. But the way itis going is not the right way.Parents, please stop teachingboys about masculinity andgirls about 'ijjat-aabroo', theyare both needed to bebrought up in the samemanner to bring real equali-ty. Unfortunately, this iswhere it all begins, our veryown sweet-home. So, thechange should be broughtfrom here only. If we wantour male offspring to be likeLord Rama, maryada-pur-shottam, then we should beready that the females willbe abandoned like GoddessSita. It's high time that wewoke up and fought forwhole of our race, regard-less of which gender groupwe belong to, against a fewdeviant evils.

Unless each of us changes,the society can't. Ye samajhumse hai, hum samaj se nahi;Hum jaise hain, samaj waisa hindikhega (it's we who consti-tute society, society doesn'tform us; what we are, isreflected in the surrounding).Change yourself, Change thenation. As Gandhi said longback: 'Be the Change YouWant to See in the World'.

Email: abhijeetkumar12991@gmail.comMobile: +918895447393

Man, woman are not adversaries health

SUNANDAN MISRA

In any given class, group orcompetitive environment, therewill always be the 'first' and the

'rest.' If we breed a systemwhere only one's happy and

many are disappointed, some-thing's surely not right! And

that 'something' best come fromwithin because truth be told,

the numbers will exist

Rise for the right cause and demandthings which are just and reason-

able, and the whole community willsupport you. But the way it is goingis not the right way. Parents, pleasestop teaching boys about masculini-ty and girls about 'ijjat-aabroo', theyare both needed to be brought up in

the same manner to bring realequality. Unfortunately, this is where

it all begins, our very own sweet-home. So, the change should be

brought from here only

ABHIJEET KUMAR