++Basics of Christian CounselingBasics of Christian Counseling

St. Mark Coptic Orthodox ChurchSt. Mark Coptic Orthodox ChurchWashington, D.C. – March 25, 2009Washington, D.C. – March 25, 2009

Yousry Armanios, M.D.Yousry Armanios, M.D.YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COMYARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM

Jesus: Jesus: The Most-Wonderful CounselorThe Most-Wonderful Counselor

““For unto us a Child is born, For unto us a Child is born,       Unto us a Son is given;       Unto us a Son is given;       And the government shall be upon His shoulder.       And the government shall be upon His shoulder.             And His name shall be called And His name shall be called

            Wonderful, CounselorWonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, , Mighty God,       Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

(Isaiah 9:6) (Isaiah 9:6)

Who Are You?Who Are You?

ServantsServants

TeachersTeachers

CounselorsCounselors

Who is a “Christian Counselor”?Who is a “Christian Counselor”?

A Christian Counselor is that who A Christian Counselor is that who can Love & Care!can Love & Care!

And that is how change happens!And that is how change happens!

““The Wonderful Counselor”!The Wonderful Counselor”!

Why is Jesus so Wonderful?Why is Jesus so Wonderful?

He Knows Our WeaknessHe Knows Our Weakness

He was tried in He was tried in everythingeverything;;

He is He is capablecapable of helping! of helping!

What Does Make Us Better What Does Make Us Better Counselors?Counselors?

1. Love, Compassionately: 1. Love, Compassionately: I have to be I have to be LoveLove too! too!

2. Be Non-Judgmental:2. Be Non-Judgmental:“… nor Me too”!“… nor Me too”!

3. Avoid Curiosity: 3. Avoid Curiosity: The Issue of CuriosityThe Issue of Curiosity

4. Are you Listening? 4. Are you Listening? Listening on His behalf!Listening on His behalf!

5. Invoke Hope: 5. Invoke Hope: “… for He is our Hope”!“… for He is our Hope”!

6. Think God’s Mind: 6. Think God’s Mind: “the Wisdom of the “the Wisdom of the SpiritSpirit”!”!

7. Speak God’s Words: 7. Speak God’s Words: It is His word, not mine!It is His word, not mine!

For the For the wordword of God of God isis quickquick, and , and powerful, and sharper than any two-powerful, and sharper than any two-edged edged swordsword, , piercingpiercing even to the even to the

dividing asunder dividing asunder ofof soul and spirit, and soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and of the joints and marrow, and isis a a

discernerdiscerner of the of the thoughtsthoughts and and intentsintents of of the heart.the heart.

(Hebrews 4:12)(Hebrews 4:12)

How is Christian Counseling Different?How is Christian Counseling Different?

Reveals Reveals LoveLove of Christ of Christ Presents Presents ForgivenessForgiveness to the Guilty to the Guilty Offers Offers CoverCover to the Shamed to the Shamed HealsHeals the Hurt in the Holy Spirit the Hurt in the Holy Spirit Gives Gives HopeHope to the Hopeless to the Hopeless Makes Makes ChangingChanging & & GrowingGrowing Possible Possible Leads to Leads to a Functional Lifea Functional Life

Christian Counseling is about:Christian Counseling is about:

Love & Wisdom Love & Wisdom Knowledge Knowledge Experience & SkillsExperience & Skills ResponsibilityResponsibility

Love in WisdomLove in Wisdom

Love, Love, NOTNOT Enabling Enabling A Talent to “A Talent to “DiscernDiscern”” SensitivitySensitivity to the Other to the Other Meeting Meeting Needs or ExpectationsNeeds or Expectations?? ConfidentialityConfidentiality: A Must!: A Must! Keeping the Keeping the BoundariesBoundaries Keep an Eye on Keep an Eye on Yourself tooYourself too

KnowledgeKnowledge

Human Human NatureNature Human Human DevelopmentDevelopment Human Human MindMind Human Human DefensesDefenses Dynamics of Human Dynamics of Human BehaviorBehavior Patterns of Patterns of DysfunctionDysfunction Basics of Basics of TreatmentTreatment

The Need for ExperienceThe Need for Experience

Extremely ImportantExtremely Important:: Need for Need for TrainingTraining Need for Need for SupervisionSupervision Need for Need for EvaluationEvaluation Time Time FactorFactor to Learn Moreto Learn More UpdatedUpdated Education Education Sharpening Sharpening Skills, Skills, all the timeall the time Most-Importantly: Keep Your Most-Importantly: Keep Your HumblenessHumbleness

ResponsibilityResponsibility

What’s Expected from a Christian CounselorWhat’s Expected from a Christian Counselor Being Being MatureMature, Real Mature!, Real Mature! Role-ModelingRole-Modeling No HypocrisyNo Hypocrisy, not at all!, not at all! SacrificingSacrificing Never to Give UpNever to Give Up, but to find Alternatives, but to find Alternatives FollowFollow His Themes!His Themes! AccountabilityAccountability

Christian Counselor are Tools in the Christian Counselor are Tools in the Hand of the Comforter Hand of the Comforter

““Comfort, comfort My people, says Comfort, comfort My people, says the Lord”the Lord”

(Isaiah 40:1)(Isaiah 40:1)

Who Are His People?Who Are His People?

1.1. The SickThe Sick2.2. The RejectedThe Rejected3.3. The ForgottenThe Forgotten4.4. The PrisonerThe Prisoner5.5. The NeedyThe Needy6.6. The TriedThe Tried7.7. The WeakThe Weak8.8. The WorriedThe Worried9.9. The SadThe Sad10.10. The LonelyThe Lonely

Highly Needed “Christian” SkillsHighly Needed “Christian” Skills(1)(1)

1.1. Therapeutic Rapport & AllianceTherapeutic Rapport & Alliance

2.2. RespectRespect

3.3. GenuinenessGenuineness

4.4. Identification of FeelingsIdentification of Feelings

5.5. Active & Empathetic ListeningActive & Empathetic Listening

6.6. Reading Non-Verbal LanguagesReading Non-Verbal Languages

7.7. Continuous AttachmentContinuous Attachment

Highly Needed “Christian” SkillsHighly Needed “Christian” Skills(2)(2)

1.1. ConcretenessConcreteness

2.2. Leadership Leadership

3.3. Fairness & NeutralityFairness & Neutrality

4.4. Non-Judgmental AttitudesNon-Judgmental Attitudes

5.5. Managing Self-Disclosures & CatharsisManaging Self-Disclosures & Catharsis

6.6. How to Confront?How to Confront?

7.7. Crisis Management Crisis Management

Significant ConsiderationsSignificant Considerations

1.1. Individual Differences (Age, Gender …)Individual Differences (Age, Gender …)

2.2. RankingRanking

3.3. Level of EducationLevel of Education

4.4. Culture and Background Culture and Background

5.5. Psychological IssuesPsychological Issues

6.6. Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

7.7. Spiritual & Religious BackgroundSpiritual & Religious Background

The Counseling ProcessThe Counseling Process

Makes PeaceMakes Peace with: Self, God & Others with: Self, God & Others CoordinateCoordinate Feelings, Thinking & Acting Feelings, Thinking & Acting Advice GivingAdvice Giving Dealing with Human Dealing with Human DefensivenessDefensiveness:: 1.1. DenialsDenials2.2. RationalizationsRationalizations3.3. MinimizationsMinimizations4.4. ProcrastinationsProcrastinations5.5. Self-PettinessSelf-Pettiness

Stages of RecoveryStages of Recovery

1.1. Hitting the Bottom!Hitting the Bottom!

2.2. Looking for an OutletLooking for an Outlet

3.3. Destroying the High WallsDestroying the High Walls

4.4. Yielding to the Work of the GraceYielding to the Work of the Grace

5.5. Enjoying Freedom from PrisonEnjoying Freedom from Prison

6.6. Peace with AllPeace with All

7.7. Becoming a Counselor Yourself!Becoming a Counselor Yourself!

Remember Always that:Remember Always that:

““With God, all things are With God, all things are possible”possible”

(Mark 10:27)(Mark 10:27)

Thank YouThank You

Q & AQ & A

Contact InformationContact Information

My NameMy Name: : Dr. Yousry ArmaniosDr. Yousry Armanios

E-Mail AddressE-Mail Address::YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COMYARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM

1-614-327-8289 (M)1-614-327-8289 (M)1-614-777-1251 (H)1-614-777-1251 (H)